A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

Hi guys! Just wanted to take a second to thank you again for reading this. And to those who share their reactions and thoughts with me, an even bigger thank you. Hope you're all having a great week!

"Hey. Let me start off by saying how much I've enjoyed getting to know you over the past week or so. Crazy that it's only been a week, right? It feels like I've known you forever. From the first moment you showed up in that chat room and asked me for a private chat, I knew you were special. Which makes this even harder, because I don't want to let you go.

I have to, though. I know you won't understand, and I know you'll hate me for it since I promised we'd be friends forever. I meant it when I said it. I still wish it could be true. You opened my mind to things I'd never experienced before. If things were different, if we had met in the normal way, maybe we could become a thing. I actually considered that last night, and it hurts to know that will never come to pass or that I won't ever get to truly cuddle with you and kiss you goodnight. Life has other plans for us and if we let it, it can guide us to the people we're meant to be with.

Thank you for every moment you've given me. The laughter, the encouraging words, the mind-blowing sex. I'm going to miss it all. I need you to do two very important things for me, though. I need you to delete my number from your phone. Please. I can't take any chances. Yours is already gone from mine. I'm sorry it has to be this way.

I also need you to be honest with yourself and with the people around you. I know coming out is a huge step. I know it's scary. But those closest to you deserve to know the truth, and you deserve to be happy. The most important person you need to be honest with is your best friend. The rest can come later, but please. For yourself and for him, tell him how you feel. I know you think he doesn't feel that way about you, but I can't imagine that he wouldn't. I fell in love with you in a week. I'm positive there's no way he can know you as well as he does and not love you the way you want him to. PLEASE. Tell him the truth. Find that courage I know is in there and at least come out to him. The rest will fall into place.

I won't ever forget you or the way you make me feel. I wish you everything good in life. Don't give up on your dreams, keep writing those songs and show the world what you're really made of. I know it's not the same, but if you ever need a friend just find me in the place we created in our minds. I'll always be there for you. I love you.

Rush"

"Hey, are you in the mood for marinara or Alfredo tonight? I have both, we can—" Logan stopped speaking at the sight of James hunched over on himself, shoulders heaving in a series of shakes. "James!" The box of pasta fell to the floor in Logan's haste to get to him, everything forgotten but the fact that his best friend was in some sort of pain. When he knelt before the sofa, he heard what hadn't been audible from across the room—James was sobbing quietly, a weak desperate sound coming from his throat. Logan worked James' phone free from his grip and set it on the table before taking James into his arms, where James finally let the pain break through with a tortured moan of despair. Though he was dying to ask what was wrong, he knew James wasn't in a place where he could speak just yet. Instead he rocked James in his arms, letting James wail into his shoulder and offering the comfort he was able to through body language. It was another two minutes before James found the strength to embrace him, and Logan rubbed his back soothingly while making gentle hushing noises.

"Is it your mom? Is she okay?" Logan asked softly once he felt James was calm enough to at least answer questions.

The shaking was still a thing, but now James seemed more aware of his surroundings. "She's fine," he croaked.

After reaching for the box of tissues on the coffee table, Logan set them next to James on the sofa and passed him one. James took it, wiping his nose and then using another on his eyes. He sniffed a few times, attempting to get hold of himself, but the tears just kept coming.

"Is it...her?"

James' trembling lips answered the question for him.

"I'm sorry, James. Even though you were kind of expecting it, I know how much this has to hurt."

"I just...it sucks. It fucking sucks. I trusted someone, I opened up, and then just like that the door is slammed in my face. We can't even talk anymore."

"Is that what she said?"

"Yeah." A deep, shuddering breath left James and he reached for another tissue. "I'm sure it's because of the guy."

"The one she was dating?"

"Yeah," James nodded, then cleared his throat. He still wasn't okay, but Logan thought he was slowly getting to a place where he knew he would be eventually. "Said it's best for both of us if we don't talk anymore."

"Well, I know this doesn't help right now, but it probably feels like cheating to talk to you. Since you two had...sex talks or whatever. I know I wouldn't want my boyfriend talking to someone else like that."

"I know, I get it, it's just..." He wiped at his eyes and then closed them. "I'm really gonna miss the talks. Not even just the sex ones, but...all of it. She was amazing."

"I'm sorry," Logan offered, and he truly was even through the jealousy springing up that James had grown so close to someone else. "I really am."

James nodded before reaching out to pull Logan close again. "Don't ever leave me."

"Never," Logan whispered. "I'm right here." They jumped at the sound of a knock on the door, and Logan sighed. "Except right this second. Don't move, I'll get rid of her."

"Her?"

"I'm sure it's Mrs. Gibson."

James' reply was to sniff before clearing his throat. He'd been present many times when Mrs. Gibson, a kindly but needy widow, had asked for help from "the strong young men" across the hall.

It wasn't the neighbor, though. When Logan swung open the door, it was Kendall who stood in the hall to greet Logan with a small smile. "Hey."

Logan's stomach dropped. Finally Kendall was going to give him an answer, and it was the worst time with James so upset, but he'd been going through agony all day wondering if Kendall would give him a second chance. "Uh...come in."

He moved aside so that Kendall could step in, and at the sight of James staring back with red, puffy eyes and a pile of tissues next to him, Kendall froze. "I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

James seemed just as surprised before giving Kendall a look Logan couldn't read. "I'll go. Just give me a minute in the bathroom."

"No, James...actually, I'm glad you're here. I need to talk to Logan in private, but...please stay."

Logan silently pleaded with James for the same, sensing that his fears were justified. Kendall was here to dump him and he wouldn't want to be alone once the words were out. James only shrugged and moved toward the small hallway.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first," Kendall began. "I never got an answer to my text so I figured I'd just come over."

"What text?" Logan wondered. "I texted you when I got my phone back and then heard nothing."

"It was before that. To James' phone. I wasn't sure you had yours back yet."

James halted outside the bathroom door, having heard that. He called out, "I never got a text from you."

Kendall seemed confused for a moment before whatever he was pondering appeared to make sense. His face changed, eyes closing and a breath leaving him. Once they heard a door close, he faced Logan and asked, "Is he okay?"

Logan wasn't sure how much to share, but it did touch him that Kendall seemed to genuinely care. "He will be. Just got some bad news."

"Ah. His uh...family stuff?"

"No. Things aren't going to work out with the girl he was seeing. He's taking it hard."

Kendall looked away, then toward the hall. "I'm glad you're here for him."

"Yeah, we uh...it's what we do." Suddenly noticing the pasta box on the floor, Logan walked over to pick it up and set it on the coffee table. It was another few seconds before he had the courage to ask, "Am I going to need him to console me once you leave?"

Now Kendall's attention returned to him. He slowly approached Logan and reached out to take both hands in his. "You are...what was it you said about me? The kind of guy every man dreams of dating?"

"Something like that," Logan nodded. It took another boost of courage to look up and into Kendall's gaze. "Sounds like we need to date, then."

Kendall's face fell, and Logan had his answer. Kendall's green eyes were suddenly too intense to look into. He tried to pull his hands from the grip but Kendall's fingers tightened to keep him there. "I'm sorry."

"I get it. I know I'm too wrapped up in him. But I was willing to try."

"I know, and I want to make it clear that if your feelings for James were all that's standing in our way, I'd give us a chance. I understand being in love with someone and needing time to break free from that."

Surprised, Logan frowned. "What else is wrong? I thought we had a good thing."

"We did. We do, and if you'll have me, I still want to be in your life. I really do like you a lot, Logan."

"I like you, too. What's the problem?"

"Two things." Kendall braced himself before diving in. "One, I think you and James need to explore whatever it is between you."

Logan rolled his eyes while letting out a frustrated noise and attempting to turn away. Kendall didn't let him. "How many times do I have to tell you that James is not gay?"

"I'm just saying that maybe there are things he hasn't faced yet. Maybe there's more than what he shows on the surface."

"Look, you don't know him. I'm his best friend. I know him better than anyone, and if he was curious, don't you think he'd tell me?"

Kendall shrugged. "Maybe he's afraid to lose you."

"That doesn't even make sense. I don't know why you're so stuck on this, but it's not reality. If that's what's holding you back with me, please let that go. It's never gonna happen for me and James. I accepted it a long time ago, now I just need to accept someone else in my life. I want that to be you."

Though Kendall nodded slowly, his next words were, "I'm not the right guy for you."

"How do you know if we don't even give it a try?"

"Because I know that you're not the right guy for me."

The words sucked all the air out of Logan.

"I'm sorry. I really wanted you to be. I don't know how to explain it except to say that something's missing between us. Something I need. When I kiss you, it's not there."

"We've hardly kissed."

"I know, and that's part of the problem. I need someone who can't stand to not kiss me. Who can't look at me without going crazy to touch me or at least show me with his eyes that he's thinking about it. I need someone who craves me. And I need to crave him, too."

James had returned to the room. Kendall didn't even need to look over to see it, he felt it in every fiber of his being that James was near and was affected by the words. This was what he needed that Logan couldn't give him.

"Kendall..." Logan began. "That's...a level of intensity that approaches unhealthy. I don't even know if that exists."

Now Kendall met James' hungry gaze over Logan's shoulder. It was brief, but it was palpable between them. "It exists. I promise."

James looked away first. Kendall moved his eyes back to Logan's face and squeezed his hands. "We can't force something that isn't there. Please try to understand."

Though Logan was breaking inside, he nodded with a lack of expression. "I'm sorry I can't be what you need."

"No, please don't blame yourself." Kendall freed their hands so he could pull Logan into a warm embrace. He kissed Logan's forehead. "You're going to make someone else very happy. There's someone out there who needs exactly what you have to offer." He moved his lips to Logan's ear and whispered, "Maybe closer than you think."

"Stop that," Logan sighed, knowing what Kendall was driving at. "I can only take one heartbreak per day."

The attempt at a joke reassured Kendall that he and Logan would be okay. He hugged Logan tighter. "I'm sorry. I don't want to lose you. Can we still...you know. Hang out? At least sit together at lunch?"

"I don't know," Logan answered honestly. "Right now I'm just..."

"I know. It's okay. Take your time and if you decide you still want to know me..."

Logan nodded, the first tears escaping as he pulled back from Kendall. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Kendall leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Logan's lips. "I'm sorry it wasn't you."

"So am I."

The dam broke then, Logan breaking down so that James was moving forward to hold him. Kendall was closest and beat him to it, and James stood to the side biting his lip while obviously dying to console Logan. Kendall held Logan close with one arm, lifting the other to squeeze James' shoulder and mouth, "Take care of him."

Before James could respond, Logan shoved away from Kendall and ran toward the bathroom, where they heard a door slam. "Dammit," James muttered. He glared at Kendall. "He can't ever know. Don't you ever tell him about what happened today."

"That's between us. I never meant to hurt him, James."

"Well, you did. You fucked him over hard and now I have to pick up the pieces."

Kendall barely refrained from an eye roll. "Don't act like you'd rather be anywhere else. We both know you're in love with him." When James dared to be offended, Kendall pressed, "And don't try to tell me you're straight, because if anybody knows what a lie that is, it's me."

Something in Kendall's tone woke James up, sending him right back to that restaurant bathroom where Kendall had shown him what it felt like to be claimed. "I meant what I said. I need you to stay away from me."

"If Logan chooses to remain my friend, I'm going to be around, James. I'm not giving him up completely. And if you don't want to lose him, you need to tell him how you really feel."

"Don't tell me how to live my life."

"Stop lying to yourself. To him. What he needs is you." There was no answer from James, who appeared to be thinking that over. Finally Kendall stepped closer to ask softly, "Are you okay?"

The sincerity behind the question threw James. "What?"

"You were crying when I came in. Logan told me that uh...something happened with a...friend?"

James swallowed hard. "Not your business."

"I know, I just..." Unable to help himself, Kendall lifted a hand until he could cup James' cheek. "We've never seen eye to eye because of Logan, but I think that once you accept I'm no longer a threat, we might actually become friends. I'd like that."

"What part of 'stay away from me' don't you understand, Kendall? I can't be close to you. You know why."

"I'm just saying, I think that once you clear things up with Logan, that won't be an issue anymore. You'll have someone to give all that passion to, and won't even look twice at me." A touch of sadness flitted into Kendall's gaze and then was gone. His thumb traced the fullness of James' lips, James' eyes falling closed as his body flared into a slow burn of desire. His breath stopped when warm lips captured his, and this time their kiss was different. The passion was there but it was muted. Kendall kissed him tenderly, tongue lazy as it worked James' mouth open, and it was the sort of kiss James had imagined sharing after sex with Rush. It was soft, teasing, and soothing all at the same time. It was acceptance and safety. James' hands slid up Kendall's chest to his neck, then continued on to his hair, and the passion was still a slow burn that had heat coiling throughout James' body without that sense of urgency. He'd be content to stand here and kiss Kendall for hours. Days. Weeks.

Eternity.

Kendall pulled away first, James dazed but only long enough to remember that Logan could walk in at any second.

"I need to go," Kendall whispered, one hand still cupping James' cheek while the other curled into his shirt. "Be there for him. Love him. Tell him that you love him."

James licked his lips. "Please go. Now."

"Tell him to call me when he's ready."

The trance James was in lasted even after Kendall escaped through the front door. He needed romance in his life. Rush had shown him that, and Kendall had forced the knowledge upon him without even trying, but James knew there was only one man who was everything he needed.

When Logan finally stepped back into the living room with red eyes, James was waiting.

"Did Kendall leave?"

"Yeah. He said to call when you're ready."

Logan sighed. "I don't know how to feel."

Though James suspected now might not be the time to overwhelm Logan any further, he knew that if he didn't do it now he would chicken out. No matter what happened, Logan would still be his friend, right? James wanted so much more, but he would settle for what they shared now as long as there were no more secrets between him. Logan would accept him. Staring at Logan now, James thought for the first time that it might be possible that Rush was right; Logan might actually learn to love him once James opened his eyes to the truth.

And if not? Well, at least he would still be here for James. They'd promised each other that much.

Of course, so had he and Rush, but James didn't want to think about Rush right now. It hurt too much. James didn't even want to think about Kendall. All that mattered was standing before him, the answer to every question he'd ever had in life.

With both excitement and dread, James pinned Logan with a determined gaze. "We need to talk."

Logan allowed James to lead him back to the sofa, which had already seen its share of crying for the day. Hopefully it wouldn't see anymore.

"I know you're upset," James began, wondering how to just say what he needed to say. Maybe he should wait.

"I was expecting it," Logan sighed.

"Yeah, but like you said earlier, that doesn't make it easier. Looks like we both got rejected today, and it sucks."

Logan nodded, misery peeking through the smile he offered James. "At least we have each other, right?"

"Always," James promised. He fell back against the cushions sideways so that he was still facing Logan, who turned toward him and did the same.

"You never answered my question."

"Which question would that be?" Something in Logan's eyes melted him; it was a comforting gaze, familiar and safe, and as he'd sensed from the start with Logan, this man would always take care of him.

"Marinara or Alfredo?"

A soft chuckle left James. "Do we really want to cook tonight?"

Logan shrugged. "It's better than sitting around moping."

"Why don't we just order a pizza or something? Then we can sit here together and play a game or watch a movie or..." When he opened his arms, Logan immediately moved closer to snuggle in. James wrapped him up tight before continuing. "Anything that keeps you right here."

Logan's face was warm in the crook of his neck; James savored the feel of it, of Logan in his arms and wanting to be there. The silence was comfortable, at least until James felt wetness at his throat. He blinked a few times before frowning. "Hey. You okay?"

A quiet sob was his answer, and James sighed before physically lifting Logan up onto his lap sideways. Once Logan was secure in his arms, James leaned back and hugged him close to kiss his forehead. "I'm sorry. I know you liked him a lot."

Logan shook his head.

"You didn't like him?"

"Of course I liked him," Logan replied, pulling a tissue from the box James shoved at him. "But that's not why I'm crying."

James waited it out, and when Logan had pulled himself together, he tried, "Tell me what you're feeling."

"A lot of things," Logan admitted. "Like a failure. Like—"

"What? How could you possibly think this is your fault?"

"Because I wasn't enough for him. I'm not enough for anybody."

"Stop it." James hugged him tighter. "You're more than enough."

"If I was, I wouldn't be alone."

"You're not alone. I'm right here."

"I know, and that's...sometimes..."

It was so rare for Logan to cry that the fact that he was tearing up again sent James into a slight panic. "Hey, come on, he's one of a million. You're going to meet someone who is smart enough to realize how amazing you are and want everything you have to offer."

"He said the same thing," Logan stated in a dead voice.

"Well, he's not completely stupid."

Logan sighed. "I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting, of wishing for things that will never happen and I just want to be able to live my life without..."

"Without what?"

Logan bit his lip, burying his face in James' neck again. When he answered, the words were muffled but clear enough. "Without loving someone who doesn't love me back."

James swallowed hard. "I know the feeling."

"Yeah, I know. She's stupid to let you go."

Here it was. This was it, the right moment. James felt it in his gut, and though the thought of Rush still hurt, the knowledge that his...friend?...would be proud of him spurred him on. "I wasn't talking about her."

The body in his arms tensed up. "Oh. There's someone else you're into?"

Deep breaths, James. Deep breaths. No matter what, he's not going anywhere. "Yes."

Logan admitted, "I had a feeling."

"I wasn't going to tell you. I knew it would change things between us and you know my biggest fear is losing you, and..."

"Well..." Resigned, Logan let out a longer sigh so that his body went limp against the strong one supporting him. "She's gay, so..."

James opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to comprehend what Logan was saying. "What?"

"I know it sucks. It's like being gay and having a crush on your straight best friend. You wish you could change them, but you can't. So you just have to live with it."

Still lost, James gently pushed Logan away enough to look into his eyes. "Who the hell do you think I'm talking about?"

"Lucy. It's obvious you want to be with her."

Hazel eyes stared back in confusion as James tried to grasp that Logan thought he was in love with... "Lucy? Oh my god, no! Ew!"

"Ew? James, please, you were all over her at the movies. You shared your candy with her!"

"So? Like I didn't see him do the same with you? What else was I supposed to do when you were so wrapped up in Kendall? It was like I was barely even there!"

"Don't turn this around on me, you two snuck off together for...whatever...and then you came back and completely ignored me! How do you think that makes me feel, James?"

Outrage flooded him. "Are you fucking serious right now? You were there with a date. How dare you act like you're the one who was being ignored!" Logan was unceremoniously shoved off of James' lap, barely saving himself from falling on his ass. He stood, James doing the same and pacing away a few steps before pacing back. "Why the fuck do you think I needed Lucy there with me? I didn't know how else to survive two hours of watching you with someone else!"

"Oh, well you seemed to survive it just fine with the oh-so-quirky-and-adorable Lucy at your side."

James stared at Logan in shock, realization crashing down. "You're jealous. Oh my god, you're jealous."

Logan spun away angrily, arms crossing over his chest.

"Logan, look at me."

"No."

"Logan. Babe." It was a nickname they'd used on occasion that James really liked, as it always made him feel like Logan was his. "Talk to me."

"It's not worth talking about."

"It is, because I think our biggest problem is that we keep looking elsewhere for what we need when it's right in front of our faces."

Logan shook his head, shoulders hunched in. "I can't give you what you need. You can't give me what I need."

Now. The time was most definitely now. James gently turned Logan to face him, Logan resisting for a few seconds before giving in and staring back at James. He was in misery again. James was going to change that. "I can."

"No, James. We talked about this, I need more than friendship."

"So do I." He braced himself while swallowing hard, then just said it. "I'm gay."

The only reply to that was stunned silence.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I needed to keep it a secret from everyone, for my career. For my image. And it was stupid to keep it from you, but I was terrified because I knew it would change things and felt like you could never love me back but...I'm really hoping I'm wrong about that. I love you, Logan. I've loved you for a year."

James prayed for it to happen, but the surprise never morphed into happiness or excitement, or even acceptance. Instead, what Logan finally said with disbelief was, "A year?"

"Something like that," James shrugged. "Probably since the first day you invited me here. I was still a little confused then, but what I knew for sure was that I never wanted to leave you or this place."

"A year." It seemed to be what Logan was stuck on. Arms still crossed over his chest, he pursed his lips. "A fucking year."

James waited in silence, fear sprouting in his heart. This wasn't going the way he'd hoped it would. Or maybe he was just reading too much into things as he tended to do.

"So...we spent the last year together, practically every second of it physically together, and you never once thought it would be a good idea to tell me that you're gay?"

"I didn't want you to feel guilty."

"Guilty? What sense does that even make?"

"Because you didn't feel the same way, so you'd feel guilty about having to let me down and then it would always be there in your mind that I wanted you and you'd be careful around me, you wouldn't touch me or let me sleep in your bed and..." Panic was seeping in as James rambled; he felt the walls closing in on him. "Logan, I was so scared to lose you."

"Yet you lied to me. For a fucking year!"

"Babe..."

"Oh, no. Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that."

"No, Logan, don't...please don't do this." Terror had tremors running through James. "I knew you wouldn't love me, but—"

"But I did. I suffered every single day because I loved you and I knew you could never love me. Every. Single. Day. But you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. You couldn't show me your true self."

"That's not true. You're the only person who did see my true self."

"No, James. You fucking lied about who you are. Not just to everyone else, but to me. To me, your best friend! Forget about the fact that we were in love, you couldn't even tell me as your best friend!"

"I was scared!"

"Like I wasn't? Like I didn't spend every day terrified you'd figure out my true feelings and hate me for them? Like I didn't sit next to you in agony on this couch wishing I could kiss you and praying you wouldn't know it?"

"So you lied, too! You weren't honest with me, either."

"It's not the same thing. Keeping your feelings from someone because you're scared to lose them is normal. Keeping your sexuality a secret...that's just a lie. It feels like I've been living with a lie for a year. Like I don't even know you or who you are or...like I can't trust you at all."

"What the fuck are we even talking about, Logan? We just admitted that we're in love with each other. Why is there any question that this is meant to be?"

"Because the man I loved doesn't exist! You were a lie!"

"No, I'm still the same person! I'm still the guy who gets crazy jealous when you talk about Kendall and eats all your chocolate and forces you to buy things you don't really like at the store just because you know how badly I want them. Logan..." The precariousness of the situation they were suddenly in was suffocating him. "What are we doing? We belong together, you know this. Everybody knows it, even Lucy knows it! She's been trying to get me to tell you for days!"

"So you could tell Lucy, but you couldn't even tell me." Logan pushed out a breath. "No one should've had to force you into this. You should've trusted me. Even if I didn't feel the same way, you should know me well enough to know I'd never treat you differently just because you're gay. You obviously don't know me. And I don't know you."

The flat tone of Logan's voice sent fear through James. "Logan...please."

"I'm sorry. I can't...it's too much. I can't handle the lying."

"What...what does that mean?"

"I need..." Logan couldn't meet James' tear-blurred gaze. "I need to be alone."

"No, don't send me away, please don't send me away, I can't...this is exactly what I was most afraid of. You're leaving me."

Logan still wouldn't look at him. "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Logan. Logan, please."

"James, I'm sorry. We'll talk about our future another day. Right now I can't get past the feeling that I've been in love with a lie."

"I'm not a fucking lie, I've never been more honest about who I am than right now in this moment!"

Logan shook his head slowly. "You should've done that a year ago."

How he made it to his car, James would never know. He fell into the driver's seat and commenced to shake violently, feeling like his world was splintering and there was nothing to hold on to. He'd lost Rush, he'd lost (though never really had) Kendall, and now he didn't even have the one person who was his strength and sanity. The person who kept him afloat had sent him away.

There was no one.

With difficulty he fumbled through his phone, trying to find the number of the only person he could think of who might still care about him.

"I know you want to talk to me, but I have a life so it's just gonna have to wait. Mom, I'm fine. Everyone else, I'll call you back when I feel like it. Later!"

"Fuck," James muttered, barely holding on as he hung up on Lucy's voicemail.

"But will you take mine so that if you ever feel like you have nobody, you can call me?"

Jennifer. A yearning filled James for a mother like Jennifer, who would no doubt accept him as she had Kendall and tell him that everything would be okay. Somehow calling her to cry over the guy her son had just dumped didn't feel right, though. Why couldn't his own mother be accepting of him?

"What she WILL say. Because you're going to tell her eventually."

Rush had assumed that, but Rush didn't know his mother. Rush had told his family and been accepted with no problem. Logan hadn't had any issues with it, either. Why couldn't his mother be as awesome as the others?

Suddenly the thought of living here, of seeing Logan every day, of seeing Kendall every day...it was too much. He was tired of being alone. Mom may not ever accept him, but she would always take him back because he was her son. Not knowing where else to turn, James placed a call that he never thought he'd have the courage to.

"Jamie? Baby, I'm about to get on a conference call, can this wait?"

Only his mother would be on a conference call on a Sunday evening. "No," he croaked, then completely broke down into incoherent sobbing. "Can I come home?"