A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

This chapter is much more tame emotionally than the last one. You get a break haha. Thanks for reading!

Kendall turned a corner and approached the building's entrance. A large, muscular guy stood guard facing the other way, intimidating Kendall so much that he almost changed his mind and turned tail. Just when he would have, though, a petite body stepped out from the man's shadow. "Hey! It's freezing out here, what took you so long?"

Once Kendall was close enough, he dragged her a few feet down the sidewalk and hissed, "This is a bar!"

"You're observant."

"Lucy, I can't go into a bar. I'm not old enough."

She waved a hand in dismissal. "You're with me, it's fine. Just don't get arrested for underage drinking, because people know me in there and that would make me look bad."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid, I won't drink. But why here?"

"Because I was already on my way when you texted and I have a date with destiny. Come on, let's talk inside."

She dragged Kendall back to the entrance, where the big guy's face broke into a grin. "Your date finally here?"

"Ew. This guy's my cousin. Kendall, this is Dave. Dave, Kendall."

"Hey, nice to meetcha." Dave held out a hand, Kendall shaking it with a nervous smile.

"You too."

She pulled on his arm again. "Later, Dave!"

Kendall almost stumbled at the sudden movement, having much better control over his right leg now but even that couldn't defeat the storm that was Lucy. "Slow it down a bit, you've got a handicapped person on your hands."

"Oh please, you're fine." She continued to lead him further into the bar, which was loud, crowded, and smoky on a Sunday evening.

"Are we not stopping at the bar?" he yelled over the music.

"Nope. Back here."

Eventually they ended up in a smaller room off to the side, where the music was muted enough that they could speak in normal voices. Kendall felt better once they were seated in an old but cushy booth.

"You're upset, I can see it. Talk to me."

Resting his elbows on the table, Kendall leaned his head forward so it could rest against his hands. "I don't know where to start."

"Let me guess. You're dating Logan but you also fell in love with your online 'friend' and you don't know what to do."

Now he sat back in the booth and looked at her with a sigh. "Only one of those things is true."

Her gaze narrowed. "That you're dating Logan?"

"Try again."

Jaw dropping, she asked, "Did he dump you for James?"

Kendall's head fell back with a groan. "Of course you knew."

"Doesn't everybody?"

"Obviously not if he was dating me and James was determined that everyone think he's straight."

"Well, anyone with eyes can see that—oh, here she comes. Act natural."

Kendall frowned at her in confusion. Had he been acting any other way?

A slim blonde sauntered by their table with a tray of full glasses. "Hey, guys. Be right back."

"Take your time," Lucy smiled, head turning to look after her when she'd passed. "God, what I'd give to run my hands through that long, silky hair."

Now he leaned out to take a closer look at her retreating back. The woman's hair was in a ponytail. "That's destiny?"

"No, her name's Jo. Isn't she gorgeous?"

"I...didn't get a good look. She was facing you."

"Well, you will when she comes back to take our orders, so be nice."

"Like I'd be rude otherwise?"

"Just don't embarrass me. So the nerd dumped you for the pretty boy?"

"No, he did not. I actually dumped him."

That surprised her. "Why? Ohhhhh, because you fell in love with the online dude."

"Partly. I knew Logan wasn't the guy for me."

"I could've told you that the day we met."

This time Kendall's jaw dropped. "You told me to date him!"

"So?"

"So why would you tell me that if you didn't feel we were a good match?"

"I warned you he was into someone else."

"But you still—"

"Shhh, she's coming again." When Jo stopped next to the table a few seconds later, Lucy graced her with a welcoming smile. "Hey, you."

"Oh, hey. You were just in the other night, right?"

"Can't stay away from this place," Lucy joked. "Must be something in the beer."

Jo's voice lowered as she leaned in to confide, "No one's supposed to know about that."

Kendall's eyes widened, but the two women giggled as if it was the funniest joke ever told. What did I get myself into?

"Seriously, though, what will you have?"

"I'm going with Stella tonight. Can't go wrong with a good woman, right?"

Jo's pen stopped moving. Lips pursed, she lifted her gaze to Lucy. "No, I don't suppose you can."

Feeling awkwardly trapped in the middle of a bad movie, Kendall offered, "Did you know it's actually named after a star?"

Two pairs of eyes swung over to Kendall. Lucy looked like she wanted to strangle him. Jo, on the other hand, spoke politely. "And for you?"

"Uh...Coke. Coke is good."

"Coming right up."

With a swish of her ponytail, Jo spun away and toward the bar.

"Did you not see we were having a moment?!" Lucy hissed through gritted teeth. "What the hell was that? Who cares what it's named after?"

"Well, I..." Kendall stared back at a loss. "Do you have to try to pick up on chicks with me here?"

"It's not like she works every night, I have to make good use of my time. Stop embarrassing me!"

"Okay, I'm sorry! I won't talk in her presence again."

"Thank you. So...where were we? Oh right, you dumped Logan because he's in love with James."

"Only partly."

"And because of the online dude."

"Yeah, that's..."

Seeing that Kendall was actually in some sort of emotional pain, she sighed and reached over to squeeze his hand once before pulling hers back. "Okay, start from the beginning."

"No, I think what I need to know first is why you'd encourage me to date someone you know I'm not right for."

Now Lucy hesitated. She settled back against the cushion and said, "You can't get mad."

"Which means I probably will."

"I was trying to help them. You know that without you, they would've just kept spinning their wheels forever. Stuck in that place where they were both in love but too comfortable and scared to take a step."

"So I was the catalyst? I was the...plot twist to shake things up?"

"Precisely. It worked, right? They got all crazy jealous and...wait, did they take that step? Are they finally dating?"

"I'm sure they will be by tomorrow. That's why I broke up with Logan, because I know they belong together."

"See, even you see it!"

Kendall shrugged, knowing she was right but that didn't make it hurt less. "How did you know James was gay?"

"I knew it the second he opened his mouth in my office."

"That's impossible. You can't tell someone's gay just from the way they talk. That's a total stereotype."

"I know, but with him...I just felt it. I just knew. The more we talked about his past and what he'd been through, I just...knew. What I didn't know was that he was in the closet, so I made the mistake of asking if he was seeing anyone. I said something like 'Is there a special guy in your life?' He freaked, dude. Like I'd accused him of murder or something. He started to deny it but I knew better so I told him it was fine, that I wouldn't tell anyone and he just got more upset until he finally stormed out. Avoided me ever since. I'd see him around with Logan, see how they looked at each other, and I mean I knew Logan was gay. It was obvious those two were head over heels. James just needed to get the stick out of his ass and accept his sexuality for them to move forward."

"And I was the tool that would make that happen."

"Your word, not mine." Her face lit up at the approach of Jo. "Thanks. Might want some food in a bit, so feel free to keep checking in."

After setting down both glasses, Jo smiled at Lucy. "Count on it."

Kendall was too caught up in Lucy's revelation to pay much attention to the flirting going on. He sipped at his Coke and waited until Jo was gone to ask, "Is that why you wanted to come to the movie? Because you thought it would happen there?"

"The big blow-up? Yeah, I figured James having to sit there with you two for hours would be too much for him. I admit part of it was just needing to be right, to have that moment of vindication when he admitted the truth. I mean, if you'd seen him in that office, he was livid that I would dare to insinuate he might be gay. So yeah, I wanted to be there when he cracked. But by the time that date actually happened, it was more that I wanted to be there for him. Remember when I went after him at lunch on Friday?"

Kendall remembered it well, especially the way James had come back with the news he welcomed Lucy on their date. He nodded.

"James didn't know I was gay. No idea how he missed that with all the rumors flying around the place, but he didn't. So when I went after him, I told him I was and that all I wanted was for him to be happy. That I knew how he felt about Logan and I knew how hard it was for him to watch Logan get close to you, and that if he needed a friend I was there. Next thing I know he's hugging me and trying not to break down and telling me that he's sorry, that he totally needs a friend, and he doesn't know how he's going to survive the movie thing. Obviously I told him I wanted to be there for support, and the rest is history."

"So when I made that comment to you about how I was thinking Logan might be into James, you were just humoring me to agree."

"No, not at all. I did agree with you." After a pause in which she gulped down beer, she asked, "You pissed at me?"

Did he have a right to be angry? Probably. Lucy had manipulated the entire thing. Kendall couldn't deny that he probably would've asked Logan out eventually, though; she'd just given him the kick in the pants he needed. Kendall let out a frustrated groan. "No. I just...I wish I'd known all of that going into it."

"You wouldn't have asked Logan out."

"Exactly."

"They wouldn't be getting together right now."

The thought broke Kendall's heart a little. "Yeah."

Again showing a rarely-seen touch of compassion, she squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. I know you liked Logan a lot. But you still got your online dude, right?"

And now Kendall's heart broke a lot. "Lucy...there's so much more to tell you."

"Well, with those hips walking around in tight jeans, I'm not leaving anytime soon. Hungry?"

"Are you just looking for an excuse to talk to her again?"

"Does it matter? Are you hungry?"

He hadn't thought about food in hours. There'd been breakfast (with James, don't think about that kiss), and then they were considering an early dinner when James called. Or maybe Logan was calling on James' phone. Really, it didn't matter who was calling, it had been enough to send Kendall's world crashing down and then food was the last thing on his mind. He'd sent his family away with the promise that he would explain later, thanked his mother profusely for the gift of the skate that would be ready in a week, and then sat down to compose the most difficult email he'd ever had to write, crying through most of it. He totally deserved unhealthy, greasy junk food. "I am, actually. Is there a menu?"

"We'll ask Jo," Lucy grinned, excited to have a reason to flag her down. Jo of course rushed over.

"Ready to eat?"

"Always," Lucy smirked. "What do you recommend?"

"Our buffalo wings are the best in town, but that's just a personal opinion. Let me grab you some menus."

"Take your time."

Kendall barely refrained from rolling his eyes at the way Lucy watched her walk away. The truth was if it had been James, he wouldn't be any better.

James. He found it ironic that now he would be the one having to watch someone he loved dating another. Two someones, because even though he'd never quite gotten to that head-over-heels point with Logan, he'd come close. Given time and the absence of James, Kendall thought it might've happened eventually. Without James he wouldn't have known anything was missing.

Yet because of James, he hadn't fully appreciated what Logan had to offer.

"Stop that."

"What?" Kendall looked up.

"You're sulking. Tell me what happened with the online guy. Did he dump you?"

"Nope. I dumped him."

"Okay, that doesn't make any sense at all," Lucy replied with exasperation. "Now you're just lonely. Why would you give up both? Why get rid of the guy who wrote you dirty emails that made you glow?"

"Because he's in love with someone else."

"Seriously? You fell for two guys in love with someone else? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"That's a good question." Kendall studied the menu, deciding a burger and fries were exactly what he needed.

"I'm thinking of trying those buffalo wings. Maybe some fries with that. Oh look, they have fried pickles. Want to share an order?"

"Why not?" He'd gotten to that "whatever" stage where thinking hurt too much.

"Cool. Okay, so...wings, fries, pickles...damn, that pie looks good. What kind of bar serves pie like that? So who's your dude in love with?"

Though it was difficult to talk about, Kendall thought her reaction might make it worth it just this once. Watching Lucy closely, he answered, "Logan."

Just as he'd expected, her face froze and her hand stopped moving halfway toward the beer glass. She slowly lifted eyes from the menu. "What?"

"Logan. Turns out my online buddy...is James."

"You guys decide what you want?"

Lucy barely even glanced at Jo. "Give us a minute."

"Uh...sure. Just let me know when you're ready."

Kendall waited out the silence from her while she worked it out in her head. "James? You've been talking to James online? The Rush dude, the one who wanted you to fuck him against a wall?"

"Actually, I'm Rush. He uses a different name. I had no idea it was him until today, when my phone informed me that he shares a number with my dude. I had no choice, Lucy. I couldn't keep them apart because then I knew for sure how he felt about Logan, and Logan told me last night how he felt about James. You get it, right?"

"Oh, you beautiful tortured soul. You did the noble thing."

Kendall swallowed down Coke. "That's me, always the knight," he muttered.

"Wow." She fell back against the peeling vinyl. "All this time it was James? How did you not know?"

"I assumed the guy lived far away. And as far as I knew, James was straight. And we didn't talk about anything that would identify us, we wanted it to be anonymous. I mean, the signs were there, I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner, but...I wanted to believe in the fantasy, I guess. He made me feel things Logan never did. That's partly how I knew Logan wasn't right for me."

"Only partly?"

"Well, mostly. The rest was when I kissed James today at breakfast. He is literally everything I want in a man. Nothing missing."

Lucy digested that. "Why did he kiss you?"

"I ambushed him. I was dying to know what it would be like to kiss him."

"I thought you hated him. I mean, if you didn't know it was him online, and you two just argued all the time in person..."

"There were...moments. Things. I knew he wanted me."

"Even in person?"

"Yeah. It's complicated. I'd already suspected he wasn't completely straight. We were basically flirting from the moment we were introduced. Only...I don't know. It was all mixed up with resentment because of Logan. Bottom line is I fell in love with him because he was open and honest with me online. In person, I wanted him. So much that it was torture to be around him. And then we kissed and...Lucy, oh my god. What if I never find that again?"

"Oh boy. Okay, I'm gonna need food for this. And another beer." She glanced around the room, catching Jo's eye and inviting her over with a smile. "Sorry if I was rude earlier, my cousin here had just dropped a bomb on me."

"Oh, it's fine!" Jo grinned. "Cousin, eh?"

"Yep, this is Kendall. I'm Lucy, by the way."

"Lucy. Hello."

"Hey."

The way they were grinning at each other told Kendall they'd be exchanging numbers before the night was through. Why was everyone finding love but him?

You found it. It just wasn't the right one. As badly as you want him to be, James isn't the one.

Despair filled Kendall again. He'd so wanted James to be the one. The moment they'd kissed, he knew he couldn't live without that in his life.

Well, now you have to. Get used to it. They deserve to be together.

"Kendall? You still with us?"

"Yeah, sorry." Shoving the sadness away, he ordered food that wouldn't cure his heartache, but might help him forget it for a few minutes.

"Walk me to my car?"

"Of course."

Kendall followed Lucy out into the cold night, glad he'd donned a hoodie before leaving the apartment earlier. They said goodnight to Dave before she asked, "Did you drive?"

"No."

"I'll take you home then."

"You don't have to."

"Shut up and get in the car."

Kendall knew better than to argue with that tone. Once they were closed in she started the engine and cranked up the heater.

"Lucy, you can't tell anyone about this."

"I told you, what we talk about is confidential."

"Yet you just spilled everything James said in your office."

"The cat was already out of the bag, it's fine."

"That's a slippery slope of ethics."

"Oh be quiet, you were dying to know. And I promise, I won't say anything to anyone. Not as your counselor, and not as your friend."

Kendall smiled. It was good to have a friend. "Thanks."

A block away she asked, "Do they know? About the online thing?"

"No. They can't find out."

"So...what excuse did you give James for not talking to him anymore?"

"I didn't really give a reason. He knew I was seeing someone, so I just kind of...hoped he would assume it was that."

"You know he's gotta be crushed."

A vision of James' red and lost eyes returned to him. "Yeah. It was hard to say goodbye, especially knowing he wouldn't understand and would hate me. But he's got Logan now."

Lucy nodded slowly. "You told me once you couldn't give up the online dude."

"Well, I don't have a choice. Turn right up here."

She continued to ponder the situation while following directions. "You said you kissed him?"

"Yeah."

"How did he react?"

"Exactly like I'd imagined in all of my daydreams."

"So he's attracted to you. Not just Rush or whatever, but you."

"Definitely."

"And you think that's just gonna go away?"

"I think I was a substitute for Logan. There's no way his feelings for me come close to that."

"Do his feelings for Rush?"

"Again, I was a substitute. If he'd had a choice, it would've been Logan he wanted to do all of that with. And now he can."

"Left at this light?"

"Yeah."

"He called earlier, you know. When you were in the bathroom."

"James?"

Lucy nodded. "I didn't answer, I figured he was just calling to tell me he and Logan were finally together. That can wait for tomorrow, you needed me more."

"Thanks." Needing to move away from the heavy topic, he asked, "So did anything else happen when I was in the bathroom?"

"Yep," Lucy grinned. "I got a number."

"I knew you would. She's into you."

"Yeah? It's not just my imagination?"

"Nah. Take her out. You'll be running your hands through that hair in no time."

"I sure hope so." Kendall pointed her to an apartment building on the right and she turned into the lot. "Hey, thanks for coming out tonight. I'm glad you were there."

"My reasons were purely selfish."

"Still, your presence gave me the guts to go through with it."

"Glad I could help. Thank you for listening."

"It's what I do." She leaned over to kiss his cheek after pulling to a stop. "So what's next for you?"

"Probably bed. That pie was a bad idea, I feel like a brick is weighing down my stomach."

"No, I mean as far as romance."

"Oh. Well, once I get over James, I guess I'll look for someone else. The guy I'm meant to be with has to be somewhere, right?"

"He's around," Lucy agreed. "Just...keep your eyes open."

"Yeah yeah."

"I'm serious. And don't avoid James just because you want him."

"It's hard to be around him and not show that. He asked me to keep my distance because he's attracted to me, too, and doesn't want to lose Logan."

Lucy's head tilted as she stared at him. "Really."

"It means nothing. Sure, there's attraction, but that's not enough for a relationship."

"But he said he was in love with you? On the chat thing?"

Kendall shook his head. "Substitute. What he really wanted was Logan. Even you agreed with that."

"I did," she nodded. "Well, don't be a stranger. Come save me from boredom in third period tomorrow."

"Deal," Kendall grinned. He leaned over to hug her, surprising her into returning it. "Thanks, Lucy."

"You're gonna be okay."

"I know. I just...I really miss him. Nobody makes me feel the way he does."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged as he pulled back from the hug. "They're meant to be. I was the catalyst. Everything happens for a reason."

"Right, but is it a good or bad reason?"

Kendall shook his head. "Not even worth thinking about."

When he finally made it to bed, sleep wouldn't come. Instead Kendall laid awake feeling their kisses, and the second one kept trying to crowd into his brain no matter what else he put there in its place. Something about that second kiss had been even more amazing than the first. It had been more tame, but with just as much passion. It was the kind of kiss he'd imagined sharing with King after mind-blowing sex.

God, he wanted that. All of it, he wanted it so bad.

His computer called out to him. His phone called out to him. He'd already gotten rid of James' number (in both slots because he didn't trust himself, and James had asked him to delete it after today). Now he needed to also get rid of the chat program; the temptation to contact James was too hard to resist.

Like he'd even be paying attention to his phone? He's probably in bed with Logan right now, doing all the things you wanted to do with him. The things you wanted to do with Logan.

"This fucking sucks. I need a man."

Kendall's thumb hovered over the icon for the chat program. One hard press would make it disappear. It wasn't like James would want to hear from him again anyway, he'd burned that bridge and broken the man's heart. But it was all for the greater good, because it cleared the path to Logan. They'd both been suffering for a year and they deserved to have their time.

He'd live with it. He loved them both in different ways and he'd live with it for the sake of their happiness. It was what any knight would do.

What kept Kendall from deleting the app was the thought that one day James might need him. Not him, but Rush. Because even though they were finally getting what they both wanted, no relationship was perfect. One day James might need a friend.

He's got Lucy. It's her job to listen.

True, but Lucy couldn't be everything he needed. More than one opinion was necessary in life.

Stop it, Kendall. You're finding excuses. Just get rid of the damn thing so you don't cave and message him. Let him have the love he deserves.

The advice was good. By the time he fell asleep an hour later, though, Kendall hadn't followed it. He couldn't bring himself to sever that tie to the man he'd fallen in love with.