Happy New Year! I hope 2019 brings all of you lots of joy and good things :D

Kirishima didn't know what to do.

He'd been there, in class, when Midoriya went into heat and Bakugou obviously reacted to it, confirming what he already knew.

But Katsuki looked so pained when he was gripping the desk tightly, explosions going off.

He looked like he was torn.

Which made Kirishima feel… conflicted.

Since then the Bakusquad had gone absolutely insane. Mainly because Sero figured out that that was why Eijirou had been upset, so they were doing what they thought was best for their omega friend, which was to protect him at all costs.

Bakugou hadn't tried to talk to him yet.

And, in a way, it hurt like hell.

So Kirishima decided and bought himself a red collar to match his hair. It felt odd against his skin but deep down he liked what it represented.

It represented that he was going to be the one choosing his partner and he would not end up like Midoriya.

Denki liked the collar. Mainly he liked it for aesthetic reasons – and he wouldn't shut up about that – but from time to time he did acknowledge it for being useful. Ever since the freak out at class with Izuku's heat, Kaminari had started getting really curious.

"What's a heat like?" He'd asked him that same day in the canteen.

"It makes omegas think than even you would be a good sexual partner." Sero teased, noticing how uncomfortable Kirishima got with the questions. Maybe on a different occasion he wouldn't have cared so much about it, but he was still pretty shaken up.

"No, I'm serious here!" Denki whined, slumping against his seat. "Does it mess with your head?"

"More than you'd like." Eijirou muttered, biting into his meal, slightly disheartened.

"But there's definitely a cool side to it!" Was Kaminari trying to cheer him up or was he just being an idiot? "Sex must feel fucking awesome."

"Heats are awful. You want it really badly and it never comes." The redhead snapped.

"It will one day, Kiri!" Now Denki was giving him a thumbs up, nodding his head eagerly. "Just because you met one completely shitty alpha doesn't mean they all are! Like… Tetsutetsu for example! He's a total bro!"

He was right. The silver haired boy was great. At first they hadn't been on the best of terms, since they'd met and had immediately had to battle each other, only to find out they basically had the same quirk. Eijirou had always felt slightly inferior due to his hardening – it was such a boring, basic quirk, it wasn't worth any attention, so it had touched a nerve when he saw they matched. The redhead had won and after they'd gotten to know each other better, and there were no hard feelings anymore.

"Or Yaomomo!" Kaminari continued to ramble on. "She's like… the best kind of alpha? I wouldn't mind getting her in my bed, if you know what I mean! And also, I'd totally let her mock bite me, we can have some omega play, that'd be sick."

Mina punched him.

"You're grossing me out. Also, watch your language."

"Kiri already knows I have an omega kink!" Denki sighed, exasperated. "So, who cares if I-"

"Just shut up for a while, now's not the time." Sero elbowed him, subtly pointing at the omega at the table and they both noted how dejected he looked.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry."

But Kirishima had stopped listening altogether, and was currently thinking of a certain alpha, one with a quirk very similar to his.

Kiri had thought long about going to see his silver haired friend, and what it was that he wanted to ask him. It was hard to put his feelings and needs into words. He had eventually decided on going to his dorm wanting to have a conversation with him. Or something, he wasn't really sure.

"Hey bro!" Tetsutetsu bro-fisted him when he saw him, happy to know about him again. "What makes you come to this neck of the woods?"

He let himself in, trying to keep the smile on his face.

"Hey, is that a collar?"

"Yeah."

"Why've you started wearing one now? Was the boyfriend getting a little too frisky or something?"

Kirishima grimaced and Tetsu understood immediately. The redhead wasn't blaming him though, he knew rumours went around and it was easy to see them around school holding hands, so it would definitely look like they were dating.

"Is this a sensitive subject?" The silver haired boy asked, walking over to his bed and sitting on it, gesturing the other to do the same.

"A bit." Eijirou answered, looking a bit sheepish.

He sat down next to his friend and exhaled a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"What's it like, being an alpha?" he finally asked, and watched as Tetsu's face went from confused to amused.

"It's definitely better than being an omega." He chuckled, tracing the collar with a finger, making Kirishima shiver accidentally. The alpha didn't seem to notice. "Did he try to do something to you?"

The redhead shook his head.

"What's it like, feeling attracted to omegas?"

Tetsu sighed next to him.

"I don't really know? If you're talking about when it's their heat, it's… I mean, it only happened once, and it was intense. This lady went into heat in the street and it was fucking awful, you have no idea. All these alphas went to grab her and thank god that there was a strong beta there and she had her medicine on her, but, like, wow. I felt this pull, like she was my soulmate, you know? Even though I know she wasn't, I didn't know her or anything, but my body wanted me to believe that she was."

"Could you… stop yourself or something?"

"I dunno… it was hard… I can't really remember, my brain wasn't really… working."

They stayed quiet for a while before Tetsu changed positions on the bed and looked at the omega.

"Now it's your turn to tell me what happened."

"So this alpha I know" Kirishima started, and it made the other roll his eyes at him, a playful smirk on his face. "seemed to be into me, but then it turned out he was already paired with some other omega and… it's been messy."

"This alpha better not be Bakugou Katsuki."

"You know it is."

A silence filled the room, followed by the silver haired boy muttering a low 'never rubbed me the right way'.

"Want me to beat him up?" he offered eventually and Kirishima gave him a gentle smile, shaking his head. "If he ever does anything to you, I swear I'll-"

"I want you to bite me." Eijirou interrupted him and Tetsutetsu's eyes went wide.

"What?" He asked, as if he'd heard wrong.

"Bite me." The redhead spoke again, his voice not wavering as he pulled his collar off, exposing his neck to the other.

"Kiri, bro…"

"I trust you. You're a good alpha, you're exactly what I need. I'm not really a good omega, I know it, but maybe you can grow to like me?"

"I get it." The alpha sighed, placing his hands over the omega's shoulders and squeezing them, trying to be comforting. "I get it, bro."

"You… get what?"

"You want him to bite you, but you're scared or angry or whatever because he bit someone else, and now you're looking to get… revenge? No, revenge doesn't seem to be the right word, but it's something similar to that. Spite? Maybe?"

Kirishima didn't want to admit that he was right.

"No, I want a stable partner, and I want a sturdy future for myself and my offspring."

"Since when do you care about offspring, Kiri?" Tetsu rolled his eyes. "Just admit that you want him and we can talk about it."

"You… you've never felt that? The… 'it's the right person' thing?" He managed to say after a paused that seemed to last forever.

The silver hair boy looked at him before shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't believe fated pairs exist. Don't take this the wrong way, but I just think it's something they tell us to not just bite the first omega that comes by."

That… did kinda make sense, the redhead told himself, looking away, embarrased.

"Now, put your collar back on, and we can talk about these feelings you're having."

Eijirou told him all that had happened. How his body had reacted when the other was around him, and how keen on biting him Bakugou had seemed, and how he'd figured out that he'd bitten Midoriya, and the omega's heat in class.

Tetsu listened closely, without interrupting him, his smirk long gone from his features. When Kirishima finished talking, the other didn't say anything, he just fiddled with the red collar absentmindedly, a slight frown on his face as he did.

"I don't…" The silver haired boy started, but looked away, interrupting his speech. He grimaced before continuing, his hands going down to hold Eijirou's. "I'm not going to bite you. I think you're a totally awesome bro, dude, don't get me wrong, but… I'm not ready for those kinds of decisions. But, at the same time, I really want to do this for you, get you away and safe from him. What I'm trying to say is… if he does anything else to you, I will claim you."

Kirishima wasn't expecting his heat to come that early. Maybe the unpleasant feelings inside of him had triggered it, but he couldn't be sure. He just felt empty and in need as he alternated between dry humping his mattress or his pillow, three fingers digging inside of himself, searching for that spot that provided him with short-lived relief.

Bakugou wasn't with him, inside of him, making a mess of him like he really, really wanted him to be.

He didn't want to think it, but Bakugou was most probably making a mess of a certain other omega, with green eyes and freckles, so adorable that even Eijirou could see the appeal he had.

His stomach twisted in disgust as he thought about the alpha that should be his fucking someone else. Pain – from somewhere inside of him, most probably his heart – shook him from head to toe, making tears prick at his eyes as he clawed hardened hands into the soaking sheets beneath him.

It was always hard to be alone.

But it was harder when you were heartbroken, when you had been rejected for something better.

He tried picturing someone else in his mind. Tetsutetsu was the first one to appear, a smirk on his handsome face as he'd proven to him how manly and strong he was at the Sports Festival.

It was no use.

It had to be Bakugou.

Even if the other chose someone else, it had to be him.

It had always been about him.

Kirishima had always known. As soon as he'd seen him, something inside of him had clicked.

He was different from the others. Rough around the edges, but had quickly treated Eijirou differently, recognised him as his equal.

The omega thought he'd been special to him, that he meant something to the blond alpha.

How wrong he was.

Tears started running down his cheeks and he had to remove the fingers from inside of himself and stop pumping his already quite sore shaft.

He curled into a ball and hugged himself, hoping his heat would pass, or Katsuki would come to save him.

No.

He didn't need to be saved.

No.

And especially not by some arsehole like Bakugou Katsuki.

The fucker hadn't even tried to talk to him.

Hadn't even said sorry.

Of course he wouldn't apologize. When had that scummy alpha ever apologized?

But Kirishima needed him.

They'd bonded on a sentimental level.

No one smelt just as right as Bakugou did. No one's hand fit quite as well with his as his did.

No one made him feel like the blond did.

Eijirou started bawling. He'd never felt quite so wretched in his entire life.

He was torn, so very torn.

And he was losing it.

Losing it to the heat, losing it to love, or just losing it in general.

He was in half a mind to go out of his room and hunt the alpha down.

But that would be bad.

Very, very bad.

Kirishima couldn't decide what he wanted, what he needed.

It didn't matter anyway. Another wave went over him and his hips started shaking again, his hand reaching for his dick, which was twitching pathetically and in need.

Bakugou's name was on his lips as he came, the image of the menacing blond in his mind.

But he wasn't sated.

He was so empty.

So lonely.

It hurt so bad.

It hurt when he began to finger himself again, and it wasn't his cock. His knot.

It hurt when he whispered his name and no answer came.

It hurt that his hands weren't on his skin, his teeth weren't at his neck.

It hurt to be so alone.

It hurt to be so in love.

His heat came and went and Kirishima could only remember bits and pieces. He'd taken some medicine to make it better, to hope it wouldn't last long, and all that had come from it were broken memories of a really bad time.

At least it was over now and all he needed was to get out of bed. Or so he tried to tell himself, but he was finding it hard to get ready for school, so Eijirou took a day off, just to make sure he was in mint condition for the next day.

Or that's what he told himself.

That afternoon he sneaked up to Midoriya's room, knocking on his dorm door softly. A voice from inside let him in, and he found the boy doing push ups.

"Can I come in?"

Izuku stopped doing his workout and sat himself on the floor. He wiped his brow before answering the other, nodding slowly. Kirishima closed the door behind him but he stood there awkwardly, close to the exit, just in case.

He felt something inside him that he didn't recognise. He felt jealousy, in a way, but he also felt sad. This omega was harmless, this boy had been his friend. Had been? Had they stopped being friends? The air around them definitely told him so. It felt weird, in a bad sort of way.

Like they were rivals.

"Do you like him?" The redhead wasn't sure why he'd started the conversation with that question, and the boy in front of him seemed as taken aback as he was by it.

"The relationship Kacchan and I have is… definitely strange… but… romantically, no, I don't have any of those feelings for him. Respect, yes. A small kind of rivalry, sure. Anything other than that, no, probably not. I don't think I would even consider him a friend."

"But he bit you."

"He did."

"Why?"

"You should ask him that yourself."

Kirishima let out an uncharacteristic snarl at his answer. Maybe it was because he wasn't hoping to hear that, maybe because he hadn't been given any answer at all, and he had to know.

"Only he will tell you the real reason behind why he did what he did. He definitely told me a different story."

"A different story." Eijirou didn't pose it as a question.

"Yes."

"You mean he lied to you?"

Izuku seemed to consider how to answer this.

"Sort of."

"Sort of!? What does that mean!?"

"He kind of hid the real reason he was biting me from me, but I knew why he was."

"Then tell me!"

"And not let him have a chance?"

"A chance at what?"

"At gaining back your trust."

"You think he's going to gain my trust… just like that… after what he did to you!?" Kirishima stuttered, his hands curling into fists at his sides, the anger and frustration that he'd tried to keep locked up in him since he'd known desperately trying to make its way out of him.

"What did he do to me?" A simple question, yet it made the other omega stop in his tracks. They looked at each other, so far away yet so close.

"Bite you! Claim you! Rob you of your happiness! Break you!" He'd tried hard enough, but he couldn't stop the anger from entwining in his words as he spoke, his brows furrowing more with each one. Midoriya just stared at him, his face calm, like he'd been prepared for this to happen.

"I got what I wanted thanks to it, though." He said, his voice soft.

"You did?"

"I got to enter UA, I got a chance at becoming the hero I want to be."

"How is that linked to what Bakugou did to you…?" He lost the trail of his thoughts, truly confused.

"Ask Kacchan." Izuku insisted, a small smile forming on his lips.

Eventually, Kirishima agreed to let the alpha tell him his story. He'd paced around his room too much, nervous about how to even start the conversation with the other boy, until he heard a slew of insults and a characteristic explosion after them, and he knew who was approaching. He exited his dorm without thinking, hoping to catch the other alone.

"I'm giving you one chance! And only one!" Standing in front of Bakugou was Kirishima, his legs opened wide in a defensive sort of stance. He had his hand outstretched, finger up in warning. There was a distinctive frown on his handsome face.

Katsuki almost blurted out 'Yes!'. Almost ran over to him and grabbed him in a bear hug. Almost feathered his face in kisses. But instead he nodded and sighed, relief flooding him as he'd been given a chance he wasn't going to waste.

Thoughts whirled around in his brain, things he knew he had to say, but wasn't sure how. He cursed himself, he was fucking amazing at everything, wasn't he? Except maybe not, since words seemed to be failing him when he needed them the most.

What's strange is that he almost told him he loved him.

Which of course was ridiculous.

Sure, there wasn't anyone quite as amazing as Kirishima, but he couldn't really admit to himself that he… Oh, fuck.

Yeah, but he couldn't start with that.

It had only been a little over two weeks but if felt like he'd been without the omega for an entire lifetime, and he felt like this.

"I kinda… Deku… had some… No. Okay." The blond breathed in, noticing how the redhead had all of his attention on him, his cute little brows twisted in anticipation. If he was going to do this, he would do it right. "You probably already know this but I bullied Deku in middle school. He entered his heats early and they were horrible for him so I thought I had to take responsibility for my actions and claim him. I knew if I did it we would be paired forever, but I also knew it would make his pain go away."

Kirishima listened to every word. His facial expression didn't change at all during the time Bakugou talked, but the blond didn't want to admit how much it unsettled him.

"I did it because I felt responsible. And guilty. I'd fucked him over because I'd been a stupid, stuck up brat, thought myself superior to him because I was some sort of alpha with an amazing quirk. I had never wanted him to be in pain, never wanted him to end up with horrible heats, never…"

He stopped himself, again searching the redhead's eyes to see if there was anything there that would help him see if he was being understood or not. He found nothing, but continued talking anyway.

"I asked him first, and he agreed. He knew the only chance he'd have to go to UA was if I bit him, so he took it. The dreadful heats ended, and if he took his medicine, it didn't affect any of us."

The words Midoriya had said finally clicked inside Kirishima's brain. He understood why they'd both done what they'd done, and he was about to say something when he noticed Katsuki hadn't finished talking, so he waited patiently.

"I'd never been interested in omegas. Never thought they'd… interfere with… me. Like… heats, I guess. I didn't really believe the stories they'd told me. 'S why I did what I did. Didn't think it through or didn't take it seriously enough. Probably the latter. It's what happens when you take those serious decisions when you're too young. We both were. But I… in all honesty, yeah, I fucked up, many, many times, but… biting him… I… it's going to sound hard on you, but I don't really regret biting him. It was a chance I had to amend the damage I'd done to him, and now I wish I hadn't done any of what I did, but there's no changing that, so, at least I'm glad I did something to make his suffering lessen."

Had his words touched Kirishima's heart? The omega would not let the alpha in, not just yet, at least. He was wavering, though.

"Just so you know, I have no feelings for Deku aside from guilt, regret and a few other that are hard to describe. Nothing romantic or sexual. In fact, during his heat, he smelt fucking awful to me." Bakugou closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, preparing himself to what he was about to do. It was now or never. "The only person I will ever like – romantically or otherwise – is you, Kirishima."

Eijirou was speechless. He had definitely not been expecting a confession, especially not from Bakugou-has-no-feelings-aside-from-rage-Katsuki. When they'd played around and kissed and teased each other and scented each other they'd been a lingering unspoken sort of connexion between them, but to put into words what that feeling had been…

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't expect you not to stop hating me. In all honesty I don't know what to expect."

And he was right, Bakugou did not expect the punch – with a hardened fist – that Eijirou threw his way, and didn't brace himself for when hard as stone skin impacted against his jaw and sent him backwards.

He nearly had whiplash from how hard he turned his head. He wanted to see the look on his omega's face as quickly as possible, and he was not disappointed by the view.

Kiri was grinning slightly, his factions finally looking relaxed.

"That's for bullying Midoriya. And for hurting my feelings."

Things hadn't gone back to normal. Bakugou expected as much. Kirishima was still wary, still hurt.

They were back at holding hands, though. That was nice.

The Kirisquad – Katsuki refused to call them otherwise – was still suspicious. Mina had threated to murder him if he ever made Eijirou cry again. The blond alpha assured her he was never going to waste the opportunity the omega had given him.

Sero was trying, at least. He frowned at him whenever they interacted, but he was giving him a chance. It was probably because Eijirou had given it to him first.

Kaminari was just as loud and as annoying as usual. Nothing new there.

Kirishima had insisted his friends needed to know all that had happened, so that he could forgive him, get over it, and so that they could too. So Bakugou had swallowed his pride and had given them a short version of why he'd done what he'd done. This impressed Mina, so he assumed it was a win.

The worst thing was that Eijirou still had the collar on. It irked the blond because he knew he was only wearing it to prove a point, to test if the alpha would let him wear it, would give him his space. And Bakugou was not going to throw away this opportunity just for something as stupid as an omega collar. Whenever Kirishima was ready, he'd tell him.

He was probably waiting for Katsuki to say something about it, and the alpha thought that maybe he should, just to put his omega at ease, but the subject always made his stomach turn, and he couldn't find the words.

They kissed a bit, sometimes. It never got out of hand, Eijirou always stopped them before things got too heated and Bakugou always allowed it. He never pushed, he never complained, he knew things were different now, but he also knew something else.

Kirishima was definitely waiting for something.

I'm also on AO3: /users/Calucadu