A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

First things first! Happy #9YearsOfBigTimeRush to all of you! I admit that I didn't actually discover them until March of 2010, so I'm a few months behind, but it's still crazy to think I've been writing about these characters for almost nine years. What's crazier is that I never get tired of them. I just finished this story today and am already planning out the next. There's just something about this combination of personalities that keeps me coming back. I'm glad it's the same for you guys still reading and writing fic about them!

It's because I did finish the story today that you're getting a chapter tonight (well, that and the fact that I probably won't have time to post again until the weekend). I wanted to celebrate that I finally gave this story a proper ending. There's still over a hundred pages to post, so it won't be done for you anytime soon. They all have a long way to go before they figure out where they need to be. I'm so grateful to all of you for sticking around to see them on the journey. Hope you're all doing well and that you enjoy this chapter! :D Feedback is always welcome.

Seated across from his nemesis on the floor as he ended the call with Logan, James noted a smile on Kendall's face; it annoyed him. Wanting Kendall to be just as annoyed, he asked, "Did you bring me in here to seduce me?"

Kendall looked up from the display on his own phone. The warm smile was still there. "What?"

"Is that why you chose this room? You're hoping to get lucky with me?"

Now Kendall rolled his eyes; it had worked. He pocketed his phone. "Where do you get these ideas?"

"Wouldn't be the first time you trapped me in a room to have your way with me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to act like you didn't want it? Like you weren't just as desperate?"

"You ambushed me."

"I did what I had to do. There was a question that needed answering and you answered it loud and clear."

"Well, if the question was 'Is James in love with me' then the answer was a definite no."

"So you keep reminding me. I get it, you're in love with Logan and nobody compares to him."

James shoved one of the boxes toward Kendall. "Don't flatter yourself. Even if it wasn't for Logan, you still wouldn't be my first choice for a boyfriend."

Kendall stopped moving with the box's top halfway off. "Who would be?"

"Not your business."

Suddenly the answer to that question was vital for Kendall's survival. "James."

James pretended he wasn't being addressed firmly.

"James. Who would be?"

"Who says there's somebody in particular? Maybe I just meant in general."

He hadn't, though. Somehow Kendall sensed that. "If you did fall in love with someone else, you wouldn't leave Logan, would you?"

"Not a valid question because that would never happen."

Kendall knew that to be a lie. Their conversations via chat were proof of that, and James was in denial if he didn't think he'd fallen at least a tiny bit in love with Rush. "But you wouldn't, though, would you?"

"I'd never leave Logan."

Still James wouldn't look at him. And that was fine, really. These words were true; looking into James' eyes wouldn't change that fact. "I'm glad you're happy," was what Kendall finally said.

"I am."

Two minutes of silence passed while they sorted votes, then James spoke again. "Logan said you tried to get him in here for makeout sessions when you were dating."

"I did," Kendall smirked. "Never worked."

James seemed to struggle to find his next words. "Why do you think that was?"

Kendall's hands stopped moving again. "That it never worked?"

"Yeah."

"I guess he likes to play it safe. Take no risks."

"You have no idea," James muttered under his breath.

Though Kendall wanted James to open up about that, he let it go because they all knew that if you pushed James too far, he'd shut down fast.

"I'm um...I'm glad it's not just me he's like that with," James admitted.

Kendall looked up again. James still had his eyes nowhere near Kendall, as if he was barely aware he had company, but Kendall knew his mind was spinning on a course. "It's not. It's just how Logan is. Don't take it personally."

James nodded. "Do you think people can change?"

"Of course. We're constantly changing and growing. Experiences affect every decision we make in life."

"What if we don't experience new things? What if we just...keep doing the same thing over and over and never allow someone else to show us something new? Then we never change, right?"

"I guess," Kendall conceded. "But that doesn't mean it can't happen at some point in the future."

"And if it just...never does?"

"Then you have to accept that and be willing to live with it. Decide if it's worth it for everything else you get from the relationship."

"It is," James stated. "Definitely worth it for the rest."

"That's your answer then. You take joy in the good things and try not to think about what's missing."

"You didn't."

"What?"

"That's why you dumped Logan, right? Because that something was...missing?"

"With him it was. I probably would've stuck with him and at least tried if you didn't show me that what I was looking for does exist. And that's what I won't be happy without."

"Sex isn't everything."

"No, but it's important to me. If you're cool to live without it, that's fine, too."

James didn't reply to that for awhile. He continued to methodically sort votes until blurting, "Do you think it's possible to have it all? The sex and the cuddling? The fun and the security? Nights where you fuck each others' brains out and practically trash the place doing it but then just...lay together and hold each other and...?"

"And whisper how much you love each other and want to be together forever? Maybe even get married one day?" Now he had James' undivided attention; hazel eyes burned into his with longing. "It's definitely possible. And I won't rest until I find it."

James was about to cream himself from words alone; it was written all over his face. Kendall's restraint started to crack. How had he thought being alone in a room with James for more than five seconds was a good idea? Don't. He'll hate you even more for it once it's over. Of course, before that he'll moan and writhe against you, maybe under you dear God help me I'm only human!

God answered his prayer. The music got louder as the door swung open, Logan peeking in. "Hey guys, sorry. Still need help?"

Kendall almost laughed hysterically. He'd never needed more help in his life.

As it was already a tight squeeze for the four men, Lucy didn't even try to enter the equipment room. Once Logan informed her of the final counts, she pulled the boys out one at a time to plant a kiss on each of their cheeks. "You guys are the best. I'm taking you out for drinks next week."

"We're not even—" Logan began, but Kendall cut him off.

"Just go with it."

Lucy rushed toward the stage, and the others started to make their way toward the refreshments. Logan reached out a hand to grab James by the back of his sweater and stop him.

"Let's go home."

James turned back in surprise. "Now? They're about to crown the winners."

"We already know who won. I'd rather just go."

"I promised Lucy I'd stay and help her clean up."

"Kendall's already staying, and I'm sure Carlos will help. It's fine. You promised me sex tonight."

James' jaw dropped for a moment. He studied Logan more carefully, seeing a flush he'd missed before. "What's the rush? Are you okay?"

Logan used action to answer the question, pushing James back inside the room before pressing him against the wall for a deep kiss. James' breath hitched when Logan took hold of his hand and used it to cup a very obvious erection. "That's the rush."

A whine from James was followed by, "Oh god. Go. Now. Meet you there."

Once in his car, James sent Lucy an apologetic message explaining that he and Logan had needed to leave. After that he drove home fast, afraid Logan might change his mind.

The way Logan literally dragged him into the front door assuaged that fear, James shivering when Logan kissed him with desperation. "What's gotten into you?"

"Does it matter?"

It probably should, but because James needed this so badly, he chalked it up to the costumes and let go of the questions tumbling through his brain. Logan wanted him.

Nothing else mattered.

The chime of his phone went ignored for the time being. James was boneless. After fucking him in a way James had been craving for months, Logan rolled over and went to sleep. No cuddling, which was odd for him. Usually Logan was a fan of cuddling and not so much the wild sex. Tonight it had been the opposite.

True, Logan hadn't been nearly as rough as James imagined in his fantasies, but for Logan even that level of desire was a welcome change. James had no complaints.

Now he laid in bed with a languid body and sated mind, satisfied for the first time in...well, had he ever been this satisfied?

That night I called Rush. That was the best sex I've ever had, no question.

And why was he even thinking about Rush right now? He'd just had sex (good sex, at that) with his boyfriend, the man he planned to be with forever. There was no reason for his mind to wander anywhere else.

And here Lucy had thought he and Logan should sit down for a long talk about this. They didn't need a talk; all they'd needed was a change of clothes. Maybe he'd suggest this in the future. Danny Zuko did wonders for Logan's sex drive. What else might have the same effect?

He reached for his phone, hoping there wouldn't be an angry text from Lucy waiting. If there was, too bad. He'd tell her exactly why they left in a hurry. And she'd be proud.

Right after she was done being angry that they'd ditched her.

There was no answer from Lucy; maybe she hadn't had a chance to look at her phone yet. There was, however, a message from Rush.

"Are we still not speaking?"

Damn him. He's as bad as Kendall, always in my face when I need to not think about him.

James felt guilty for their fight the night before, though. Yes, it had been Rush's fault, and yes, maybe Rush deserved to know what it felt like to be dropped without warning, but that wasn't James' way.

And the truth was, James really needed a friend to talk to right now.

"Give me a minute."

"Not going anywhere."

Peace filled James. Those were the magic words he longed to hear most in his life.

Even from a friend.

Kendall had been surprised when Lucy informed them Logan and James had taken off. It wasn't like them at all, especially since they knew Lucy was counting on them. Carlos instead offered to stay and help clean up, but Kendall couldn't stop thinking about James and was distracted. Lucy asked him twice if he was okay, and finally Kendall admitted the truth the third time she brought it up.

"No. I'll explain later, but...can I go?"

Lucy didn't argue for a change. She sent Kendall home in a hired car soon after the dance ended, and there he lasted all of twenty minutes before caving and messaging James. They'd talked more openly tonight than ever before, at least in person, and Kendall had done what he thought was impossible.

He'd fallen more in love.

You're such a fucking idiot. He flat-out told you he'll never leave Logan. It doesn't matter if he's in love with Rush. He loves Logan more and that's not going to change. You have to let him go.

Kendall didn't know how to do that. He'd never been good at letting go.

He also hadn't expected an answer from James, but his heart leaped at the reply when it came in. If he could just keep this, the friendship that he shared with James via King, Kendall thought he could stand it.

Now to just work on getting that back.

Kingofdiamonds: Hi.

Rusherone: Hey you. Can I start by apologizing profusely and begging your forgiveness?

Kingofdiamonds: Perhaps. Are you prepared to bow before your king? :P

Rusherone: You were right about the name feeding that massive ego, weren't you? :P

Kingofdiamonds: I tried to warn you. You should've just gone with Diamond.

Kendall laughed now at the irony of it all. How had he missed that this was James?

Rusherone: Too late to change it now. But yes. Picture me bowing before you in abject apology because the last thing I'd ever want to do is say goodbye to you forever.

Kingofdiamonds: Even if that's probably the smartest thing we could do?

Rusherone: Yes. I can't live without this.

Kingofdiamonds: I can't do the sex. I won't cheat on him.

Rusherone: I know, and I respect that about you. I won't ask you to. Last night was a stupid way to make a point and I'm sorry I resorted to that. I won't pretend I'm not attracted to you still, but I can control myself if it means keeping you around as a friend.

Kingofdiamonds: Really? My friendship alone means that much to you?

Rusherone: Why is that so hard to believe?

Kingofdiamonds: Because you gave it up so easily before. Like I meant nothing to you.

Rusherone: That was a mistake, and trust me when I say that nothing about that was easy. I was trying to do the right thing.

Kingofdiamonds: I think you had the right idea then. Us talking like this is just gonna lead to trouble.

Rusherone: I promise I'll behave. I swear upon your golden crown.

Kingofdiamonds: You have to, because if you cross that line I'll be forced to banish you from my kingdom.

Rusherone: And I'd rather die than forsake my king.

Kingofdiamonds: Dramatic much?

Rusherone: I thought we were getting into the spirit of the moment with all the crown and kingdom talk. :P

Kingofdiamonds: You always were good at making me laugh. Even from that first day.

Rusherone: Mutual. So yes? We can be friends?

Kingofdiamonds: I'm allowed to have friends.

Rusherone: Exactly. You can just get your sex elsewhere.

Kingofdiamonds: And I do. Speaking of which.

Rusherone: Yes?

Kingofdiamonds: Remember how I said sex wasn't that important?

Rusherone: Oh, you mean that big whopping lie you told me last night?

Kingofdiamonds: Shut up, I believed it when I said it.

Rusherone: I think you were just trying to convince yourself. But yes, I remember it clearly.

Kingofdiamonds: I was wrong.

Rusherone: I'm aware of that. What changed your mind?

Kingofdiamonds: My boyfriend. He shocked me tonight. Brought me home and fucked me like he'd been thinking about it all day. The way I usually am.

Rusherone: Wow. That's good, right?

Kingofdiamonds: It's fantastic. We dressed up for a party tonight and I think that's what did it. The costumes. He was kind of a bad boy, which is totally not his usual scene.

Rusherone: Maybe you two need to do that more often.

Kingofdiamonds: That's what I was thinking. Is that all I had to do all this time?

Rusherone: Maybe. That's really great for you.

Kingofdiamonds: I was starting to think it would never change, that he'd just put up with sex for the rest of our lives instead of needing it the way I do.

Rusherone: You're going to marry him, aren't you?

Kingofdiamonds: Someday, I hope. Not anytime soon, because I still have a career to think about. But marriage is definitely what I want.

Rusherone: Me too.

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah? I can see that about you.

Rusherone: Just gotta find the right guy.

Kingofdiamonds: That's the hard part.

Rusherone: So why are you talking to me right now instead of cuddling with your boyfriend?

Kingofdiamonds: He went to sleep.

Rusherone: Already?

Kingofdiamonds: I tired him out. :P

Rusherone: Not a surprise.

Kingofdiamonds: It was pretty intense. For him, I mean.

Rusherone: Why do I get the feeling you're still not satisfied?

Kingofdiamonds: Trust me, I was very satisfied.

Rusherone: Even when it was done?

Kingofdiamonds: Duh. The end is the satisfying part.

Rusherone: No, I mean after all of that. You finish, he finishes, and then?

Kingofdiamonds: And then what? It's night time, you sleep.

Rusherone: Okay.

Kingofdiamonds: What?

Rusherone: Nothing.

Kingofdiamonds: No you want to say something, I can tell. Say it.

Rusherone: I was just thinking about how we cuddled after. How in our happy place, that was part of it. Not just the sex, but the cuddling and holding each other and all the rest.

Kingofdiamonds: Oh. I guess you can't have everything.

Rusherone: I hope that's not true. I think you can.

Kingofdiamonds: You know, the hot guy at work said something like that tonight. I'm starting to realize he's a lot like you.

Rusherone: Is he?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah. Except I get along with you.

Rusherone: Why don't you get along with him?

Kingofdiamonds: You know why. I can't be around him for very long.

Rusherone: Or you want him?

Kingofdiamonds: Yeah. And it makes me feel like a shitty person who doesn't deserve my boyfriend.

Rusherone: I really thought that would fade once you started dating him.

Kingofdiamonds: So did I. What do I do?

Rusherone: Maybe you can be his friend like you are mine. We want each other but we're not letting it get in the way of our friendship. We won't, because our friendship means too much to us.

Kingofdiamonds: True but you and I aren't face to face, either.

Rusherone: Would it matter if we were? It's not like you'd leave him for me, right?

Kingofdiamonds: No. I'm sorry if that hurts, but I wouldn't leave him for anyone. He needs me.

Rusherone: That's why? Because he needs you? Not because you need him?

Kingofdiamonds: I couldn't hurt him like that. He's stood by me from the moment we met. He's been the best friend I could ask for, there's no way in hell I'd hurt him on purpose. You understand that, right?

Rusherone: As long as you're happy and not just staying with him out of obligation.

Kingofdiamonds: I'm not. I love him. He's everything to me.

Rusherone: I know. I'm glad you two finally reached that level you needed in the bedroom.

Kingofdiamonds: It wasn't just the bedroom. ;)

Rusherone: I've had a long day and night. I'm exhausted. Can we continue this tomorrow?

Kingofdiamonds: I don't know. We'll see how tomorrow goes. But if not then, we'll meet up at some point.

Rusherone: Okay. Don't forget, you can email me anytime.

Kingofdiamonds: Same. Night, Rush.

Rusherone: Goodnight, my king. Would it be inappropriate to send you a heart?

Kingofdiamonds: Yes.

Rusherone: Got it. Sleep well.

Kingofdiamonds: You too.

James was about to sign out when a heart appeared.

You fucker. I think you just like messing with me.

He couldn't fight a smile, though, and sent one in return.

He liked being messed with just as much.

Logan woke up in bed with Carlos. He didn't know how it happened, didn't remember ever inviting Carlos to his home, but this was definitely his bed and that was most definitely Carlos between his legs, giving him the most incredible blowjob he'd ever experienced.

"Oh god," he moaned, giving in to the urge to thrust up into the wet heat. Carlos hummed, driving Logan's lust higher, and he thrusted again. Harder this time. Carlos took it eagerly before pulling off to speak.

"You're so beautiful like this. I knew you had this in you."

Logan's breathing hitched. That wasn't Carlos. The luscious mouth returned to its task but it was all wrong, something was very wrong.

He woke up for real this time. The blowjob hadn't been a dream, it was currently happening. Instead of Carlos, though, it was...

"James."

He hummed again, the vibrations sending a shudder through Logan before guilt crashed down hard and heavy. "No."

"Mmm."

"No, James, stop, don't..." When James showed no signs of obeying the command, Logan sat up to forcibly push him off and away. The flash of hurt on James' face only made him feel worse.

"What the hell, Logan?"

"I'm sorry. I can't...I don't..."

"Oh. I get it. Last night was just a fluke. What the fuck was I thinking?" James shoved himself off the bed, walking naked to the dresser and reaching into the top drawer for a pair of boxers. "God forbid you should actually enjoy sex."

"James, please. That's not..."

James waited, and when nothing else came he quickly pulled up the shorts with angry movements. "So what the fuck was last night then? Were you drunk? Did someone slip you E or something?"

"Oh my god, no. Of course not. Where would I even...?" He was just making this worse but he didn't know how to explain it. He didn't understand it himself. "I wanted it."

"Yeah, you made that clear. Just like you're making it clear right now that I disgust you and you can't even stand for me to touch you."

By now he had jeans on as well and was reaching for a shirt. "James, that's not true! I love you, you know that!"

"Right, you just hate sex with me."

"I do not."

"I thought things would be different now." Fully clothed even though his hair was still a mess, James found a clean pair of socks. "I thought you actually wanted me." The anger gave way to despair, tears sprouting to magnify the gorgeous color of James' irises. "I guess it's never gonna change."

"Babe. I do want you."

All James was capable of was shaking his head before bending down for a pair of his many shoes.

"You're not listening to me, will you just sit down and—where are you going?"

"Out."

Logan untangled himself from a mass of sheets to chase James into the living room. "Will you just stop a second so we can talk?"

"I can't talk right now. I'll be back."

"James no, don't leave me."

James halted halfway out the door to look back. His tears had begun to spill over. "I'm not leaving you."

"Where are you going?" Terror and the lack of clothing had Logan shivering.

"I don't know. I just know I can't be here right now. I'm sorry."

When Logan replied, it was to a door that had been shut between them. "I'm sorry, too."