A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

Warning you guys up front, there is a lack of Kendall in this chapter. But don't worry, he'll be back for the next one! As always, it means so much to me that you're reading this, so thank you. :)

"Babe?"

James didn't respond, his gaze on the plate in front of him yet he made no move to pick up the bacon or scoop up his scrambled eggs.

"James." The firmer tone got James' attention, his face lifting from the plate as if startled. Logan tried again in a softer voice. "We need to leave in a few minutes, so..."

"Yeah. Sorry."

He began to pick at his food, methodically lifting each bite to his mouth. Logan stepped closer to press a hand to his forehead. "Well, your fever seems to be down but you're still not quite...are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," James snapped. "You wanted me to eat, I'm eating."

Mood swings, preoccupation, slower to get into gear than usual...something was definitely off. "I think you should stay home today."

"No! I have to be at school today." Now he was speaking through a mouthful of food, his eagerness to finish the meal apparent by the way he shoveled it in.

"Is something important happening with the choir?"

"No, I just...I have to be there."

"Okay." Logan sat down long enough to touch James' arm. "But if you start to feel sick, I want you to promise me you'll come home. Or call me. Or even Kendall, because no matter how much you two bicker I know he'd take care of you."

There went that glassy-eyed look again.

"James...just stay home. Please."

"No! I'm not a child, quit treating me like one." The tone brought a flash of hurt to Logan's face and James immediately corrected himself. "I'm sorry. I just...I have a lot on my mind. I didn't mean to lash out."

Logan's hand slid across the table to squeeze his boyfriend's. "I'm here. Talk to me. Is it the winter concert?"

James shook his head. "It's nothing."

Logan wasn't so sure about that. "I love you, you know."

A wan smile was James' response, along with, "I love you, too. I'm fine."

True to James' word, whatever had been bothering him seemed to lift by the time they arrived at their coffee shop. He was his usual snarky and sarcastic self, and Logan started to feel better about everything.

Things were just weird right now because of Carlos. That would all change today when Logan saw him again and confirmed what he already knew to be the case—whatever it was between them Saturday night was a fluke because it was James he loved and James he belonged with.

Nothing could change that.

It wasn't until Lucy had closed her office door and turned to hang up her jacket that she realized she wasn't alone. After letting out a little "Oh!" of surprise, she relaxed. "Carlos!"

"Hi." Carlos was seated in the chair facing her desk, clad in an old pair of jeans and the classic blue mechanic's shirt open over a white tee. "Are you meeting with anyone right now? I can come back."

"No, first period's free today, at least as far as I know. Sorry I'm late, I didn't have anything scheduled so I didn't bother rushing." She rolled her chair out from under the desk and sank into it with a smile. "Thanks again for helping clean up the gym Saturday. I swear that's not why I wanted you to come."

"Nah, I know," Carlos grinned. "You're just trying to help me meet people and settle in here."

"That's exactly what I'm doing. Give me a minute to go through my email and make sure I don't have any surprise guests coming in this period, and then I'm yours."

"Sure, take your time. I don't have to be back to the shop area until next period."

Other than the clicks from a mouse and the clack of keys as Lucy typed, the office was silent. Carlos used the time to look around. He'd been here a few times, but never really noticed his surroundings. "What is that mess over there?"

"Hey, I take offense to that. It's Hogwarts."

"What's Hogwarts?"

Her fingers froze over the keyboard. "You don't know what Hogwarts is?"

"No. Sorry?"

"You should be. We have to educate you on the finer things in life. It's the school from the Harry Potter books."

"Ohhhhh. Yeah, I saw one of the movies when I was younger. My sister's really into that stuff. But...I don't remember it looking like that."

"Well, it's a work in progress."

"What's it supposed to look like?"

She pointed one hand toward the box, which rested under the small table the structure was sitting on. Carlos moved from his chair and studied it, then shook his head. "You're using the wrong pieces for the column thingies."

"The turrets?"

"Uh...maybe? These corner tower things."

"No, those have to be it because they're the only gray ones that have a curve to them."

"Right, but those go here, see? There should be two types of curved gray ones."

Lucy frowned. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. No wonder this is all...weird."

"Well, if you're done insulting my skills as an architect, we can get down to business. I'm free for the period."

"Cool!" Carlos smiled as he took the chair again. "And I'm sorry if I was insulting you. I was just trying to help."

"I know. So what brings you here? Did you have fun at the dance?" When Carlos bit his lip and looked down shyly, she was intrigued. Her gaze narrowed. "Did you get a chance to talk to Kendall?"

"Kendall? Yeah, we both helped you, remember?"

"Right, I mean before that. I was out of town with Jo all day yesterday so I wasn't on my phone much, but I did notice that Kendall was extremely quiet. Which is rare for him. I was hoping that meant you two were...getting acquainted."

"Lucy..." Carlos let out a sigh, partly amused. "I should've known you were trying to set me up with someone."

"Well, is that so bad? He's lonely, you're lonely...you're both handsome and fun. Why not give it a chance?"

"You know what's funny?" he asked after a moment. "When I first met him, I assumed he was with James."

Lucy's mouth moved but no words came out right away. "James?"

"Yeah. I walked in and they were standing together and talking and...I knew James was gay. Is he out?"

"No," Lucy replied immediately. "And Kendall isn't exactly either, so I need you to keep that between the...five of us?" She did a mental count. "Yeah. Five. They're not ashamed so much as trying to keep it under wraps for professional reasons or some nonsense. I don't agree with it, but I respect it, so...please."

"Sure, of course. I get that. You think it's easy being gay in a field like mine? I've heard all the jokes and how it's wrong to be with another guy and...well. You know."

"I know," she nodded.

"What about Logan?"

"He's out. I mean, he doesn't go around advertising it, and I'm not sure how many of the students are aware of it, but the staff knows for sure."

"And he's with...James?"

Lucy didn't miss the slight hint of incredulity behind the question. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"I don't know, I guess I just...I mean, I was so sure James was with Kendall."

"What exactly did you see?"

"Nothing crazy, just...I don't know how to explain it. Kendall had his hand on James' shoulder and was like...talking to him but like...it's weird. And then I made a complete idiot of myself by trying to pick up on Logan, and...I just feel really dumb. Embarrassed. Like I don't know how to face him."

It took awhile for Lucy to absorb the words. "What the hell did I miss?"

"It doesn't matter. The point is that I came here to tell you that even though I really appreciate you trying to be nice and everything, I'm gonna stick to the shop for lunch. I think that's best."

"Carlos, wait, no. I don't want you to sit in there and eat by yourself with some...car."

"You told me you used to sit in your car alone and eat, how is that different?"

"Because I didn't know what I was missing! I have friends now, actual friends, and they're ridiculous sometimes but...come on, don't sit alone. I want you to stay here!"

Carlos shook his head. "I think I should go when Ingram's better. This is a fun job and all, and I really dig working with the kids and encouraging their love of cars, but I can't..."

"Can't what? Look, if you're just embarrassed about trying to pick up on Logan, it's an honest mistake. You didn't know he was taken."

"It's more than that."

"Well, what more is there? You saw someone you found attractive, you went for it, so what? There's nothing to be ashamed of in that. And trust me when I say that he wasn't himself that night. It was a costume. Normally he's much less...hot."

"It's not about his looks, Lucy. I mean, yeah, he really did look hot, but it's...the problem here is that I don't think I can be around him and not...you know."

"What?"

"Drool."

Lucy snorted laughter, the concept foreign to her. "I'm sorry, it's just that the idea of someone actually drooling over Logan...I mean, besides James I guess...though now that I think about it, I've never heard him actually talk about Logan being hot in that sense. Which...well, that's a story for another day. The point is that Logan doesn't look like that on a daily basis. He's like...boring."

"Not to me. Boring guys don't kiss like that."

Lucy's stunned expression said it all.

"He didn't tell you?"

"Oh," she said softly, trying to comprehend as her mind made leaps and bounds. "Oh my god. He kissed you?"

"I kissed him. He totally wasn't expecting it and I shocked him, and he pushed me away."

"Right. He would, because he doesn't...and then there's James...and—"

"Exactly! He was nice about it and explained that he's got a boyfriend, and I apologized, but before all that..." Dark eyes shone with misery. "Lucy, it was the most amazing kiss I've ever had. And now every time I see him I'm gonna remember it...that's why I can't be around him. I'll just end up sad. And embarrassed."

"And he rushed out of there the second he could get away."

"Yes! See, so he's feeling what I'm feeling, like he doesn't know how to face me and it's just so awkward. I'm gonna eat by myself."

"Okay," Lucy nodded. "I understand. I'm bummed, because I really think you two can get past this and be good friends, but...I get it. Wait, where did this kiss happen? He doesn't do public affection."

"Well, don't forget I kind of attacked him with it. But it was in the shop. I took him in there to see the car we're working on."

Lucy raised a brow. "Really? Logan has zero interest in cars."

"Actually, that's not true. We talked about some things. He knows a lot about cars."

"Logan? No, you're messing with me."

"I'm serious! He just doesn't talk about it a lot. But I saw it in his face, he was excited. I kind of fell in love with that look in his eyes."

"Oh, Carlos." Lucy sighed. "I'm so sorry. You were supposed to fall for Kendall. I'm sure if you two just spent some time together and got to talking, you'd hit it off."

"Maybe. But he wouldn't make me feel the way Logan did when I saw him for the first time. It was like my whole world turned upside down." He shrugged. "But that's life, I guess. All the good ones are taken."

"Hey, Kendall's a definitely a good one. If you'd just—"

Carlos stood up and turned toward the door. "He's not what I'm looking for. I appreciate your trying, but the sooner I get away from this place and Logan, the better." He stopped halfway out the door to smile back at her. "Maybe we can get dinner sometime before Ingram comes back."

"Actually, I'm taking you all out for drinks as a thank you. And you can't say no because I want you to meet Jo."

"Lucy..."

"Nope. That's fine if you don't want to join us for lunch every day, but one night out won't kill you."

"If I have to sit there and watch Logan make out with James all night, it might."

"Ha. Trust me, that won't be an issue. I'll let you know what night we decide on."

"Whatever. You know where to find me."

Once the door was closed, Lucy sat back in her chair and blew out a breath. So many questions. Did James know about this kiss? Did Kendall? Lucy could see Logan running to him with a guilty conscience. Of course, Logan had stopped the kiss, so maybe there was no guilt to be had at all. And knowing him, the attraction was probably all one-sided.

"Boring guys don't kiss like that."

Quite a different description from what James had intimated about Logan's reaction to physical contact.

So many questions and not one she could ask due to confidentiality rules. Sometimes being trustworthy sucked.

A hesitant knock on her door an hour later had Lucy frowning. Usually the students just barged in or opened the door themselves to peek in before entering. Knocks were reserved for fellow staff members who knew how to be considerate.

God, it's probably Kalvert with another complaint about my hair.

"Come in!"

The knob turned and just like her more shy students, Logan poked his head around the door looking terrified. "Is this a bad time?"

Forcing her mouth to not drop, as Logan had never set foot in this office, Lucy sat back and blinked at him a few times before finding her voice. "No, of course not. Come on in. I do have a student coming in in about..." She checked the clock. "...fifteen minutes. But I'm free until then."

"Okay. Great."

Logan turned away to close the door and Lucy could feel it from her desk—he wanted to bolt instead. Whatever was on his mind (and Lucy thought she had an idea what that might be), it was causing him a hellish amount of agony. "Have a seat."

"Um. Thanks." Logan followed the suggestion, his knee immediately bouncing up and down at a frenetic pace.

"You okay?"

"Fine. So um...what we say in here...it's confidential, right? You're not allowed to talk about it?"

"The rules state that I can't," she concurred.

"Okay, but I know you well enough to know that you don't care about rules in most cases."

"I won't argue that," she shrugged. "But in this area I follow that rule."

"Even if it concerns friends of yours?"

"Are you planning to harm those friends in any way?"

"What? No, of course not. That's what I'm trying to avoid."

"Then you have nothing to worry about. What you say here stays between us."

Logan took a deep breath and then let it out in an effort to relax. The knee stopped its fidgeting. "I don't know where to start. I never thought I'd be talking to you about this."

"I'm a little surprised myself. James is the one you lean on for everything, unless it's a problem with him. And I assume in that situation you would go to Kendall."

"Both of your assumptions are correct," Logan nodded. "Except this time, for whatever reason, Kendall doesn't want to help me."

"That doesn't sound like Kendall," she frowned. "He lives to make sure everyone's okay."

"Right?" After a nervous laugh, Logan cleared his throat. "The whole thing is just...kind of a nightmare. I didn't know where else to turn. You've helped James and Kendall through a lot of stuff, and...I don't know. I guess I was hoping maybe you could help me too, even though we've never really been close."

"That's not my choice. You've never liked me."

"It's jealousy," Logan admitted. "Before James and I got together, I thought he was into you."

"Okay but then when you knew he wasn't?"

"He still confides in you and I feel like he should be able to talk to me when he's upset. Not someone else."

"How is that fair? You have Kendall to confide in. He needs someone, too." When Logan seemed to be fighting a retort, she smirked. "You hate that I'm making sense."

"Okay, fine, you're right. It's not fair of me to expect him to come to me for everything. It's just hard even now to share him."

"I'm sure he feels the same way."

"Has he ever told you that?"

"No, but even if he had I wouldn't be able to tell you. Confidentiality works both ways."

"Right." Logan looked around the room to give himself time to think. He was distracted by an eyesore sitting on a table in the corner. "Is that supposed to be Hogwarts?"

"I swear, if one more person takes a shot at my masterpiece today..."

"Sorry, it's just..." He slid out of the chair and walked on his knees toward the table, studying the box top before looking back at the castle. "You used the wrong pieces here."

"So I've been told."

"See, it should be these, but you used those for Hagrid's hut instead. Which is why it's a monstrosity."

"Need I remind you we're down to ten minutes? Quit stalling and tell me what's on your mind."

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Once seated again, Logan gathered his thoughts. "How did you know Jo was the one for you?"

That wasn't a question she'd been expecting. "It's not something I can put into words. It was more of a feeling."

"Like...your stomach kind of wants to revolt? But not like you want to throw up, more like it comes alive and there's this weird tingle in your chest and you can't stop looking at him or thinking about him?"

"Well...it's probably different for everyone. But that sounds about right. It could also describe infatuation or a crush, though. And most relationships start out that way, even the ones that don't last."

Logan nodded, taking that into consideration. "What if you um...never felt that?"

"At all?"

"Yeah." Lucy was quiet long enough that he added, "Quit trying to figure out where this is going and what it means in my life and just answer the question. If a random student was sitting in this chair asking that question, what would you say?"

"I'd say that not every relationship is the same. My parents, for example, probably never had that. And they've been married for over twenty-five years."

"Are they happy?"

"I guess. They're not unhappy. They know each other well and take care of each other, and they couldn't imagine being with anyone else. They bicker here and there, but it's obvious how much they love each other. I remember when I came out to my mom, I was explaining the things I was feeling for this girl at school. And it was hard for her to relate because she admitted she'd never felt that."

"Not for anyone?"

"Nope. It made me kind of sad for her, you know?"

Logan swallowed. "But because she's never experienced it, she doesn't know what she's missing and she's happy. Is that accurate?"

"Yeah, I'd say so."

"So...if she suddenly called you and said she met a guy who made her feel that way, even though she was perfectly happy being married to your dad, what would you say to her?"

"What would I say?"

"Like if she came to you for advice. Didn't know what it meant and was scared by it. Because I mean...following those feelings could disrupt her entire life. Change everything."

Seeing that only five minutes remained, Lucy cut through to the heart of the matter; Logan would never get there on his own. "Did this happen to you? Did you meet someone who made you feel those things that you never really knew existed?"

"This isn't necessarily about me."

"Cut the crap, Logan. You wouldn't be here if you weren't losing your mind over this. What did Kendall say when you asked him?"

"Kendall...had nothing to say. He just told me that he couldn't talk to me about it."

"Did he say why?"

"No. The whole thing was kind of weird. I was freaking out and he was on his way out, so maybe that's all it was. Maybe he just didn't have time. But then we talked again last night and he was...off. I'm really confused about everything in my life right now and it feels like...like my whole world turned upside down. Overnight."

Lucy couldn't help but be amused by the phrase. It was exactly what Carlos had said. "Can I take a wild stab in the dark here and assume that Carlos' refusal to sit with us at lunch has something to do with you and these...feelings?"

Logan licked his lips, surprised. "He's refusing to sit with us?"

"Yes. I can't tell you why, since everything we said is confidential, but it would be a shame if he sat alone in that shop with his lunch, wouldn't it? I just keep seeing his sad face, thinking about how nobody likes him and he can't face...certain people."

"Oh god, I scared him off? No, I told him it was okay, that it wasn't a big deal, and..." It hit him like a ton of bricks. "You know. He told you everything."

"Can't confirm or deny anything."

"He told you. He's afraid to see me again because of the kiss?"

Lucy shrugged. "You're asking the wrong person. But if you don't want him to leave once his sub job is over, I'd suggest making sure he knows you want him here. The way you left in a hurry Saturday night probably made him feel like he'd done something wrong."

"Dammit, Carlos." Logan stood up, his own predicament all but forgotten. "We're done here, right?"

"You tell me. We still have two minutes left if you had anything else to say."

"I think I've said more than enough. You can't tell James any of this!"

"You're right, I can't. It's in the job description. You've got the rest of the period free, right?"

"Yeah."

"Go talk to Carlos. Make sure he knows he's welcome."

"On my way." The door was almost closed when it opened enough to allow Logan's head back in. "Wait a second. You're James' best friend. Why are you encouraging me to talk to Carlos?"

"Let me ask you something instead. You mentioned that what happened with Carlos wasn't a big deal."

"It wasn't. It was just...a weird moment and I'm confident that when I see him again, there won't be any feelings at all."

"And if there are?"

"There won't be. Things are good between me and James and I'm not going to ruin that."

"Even if Carlos makes you feel things James never did?"

That made Logan pause. "I never said that."

"You don't have to. And that's the answer to your question."

The scent of a working mechanic's garage was like a breath of fresh air. It might have been a classroom, but it was set up in a way that took Logan right back to his visits to the garage where his dad worked during the week. He stood just inside the door for a moment to take it all in.

"Hey, Mr. Mitchell. You lost?"

The amused greeting came from one of his favorite and brightest students. Logan grinned as he turned to the boy, who was bent over what looked like a radiator out of its housing. "I get that every time I enter the gym, too. You ready for that test this afternoon, Oscar?"

"I hope so. I gave up a date with a pretty girl to study for it last night, so if I don't pass, I'm gonna be pissed."

"I think you'll be fine. You usually know the answers when I call on you in class." Logan's gaze roamed the room, finally settling on Carlos amid a small group of students staring down at a row of engines. He was talking animatedly about them, explaining the tiny differences, and Logan smiled when he saw that the three boys and one girl were hanging on his every word. Suddenly he made a joke and laughed, the sound curving Logan's lips up because it was so carefree and unbothered by what anyone else might think. It reminded him of his mother, who unfailingly drew others to her simply by being herself.

Stop it, Logan. First he reminds you of Dad, then Mom? Freud would have a field day with you.

"You looking for Mr. Garcia?"

"Uh, I found him. Thanks, Oscar. See you after lunch."

Logan wound his way through a set of tables and moved toward the engines. He was halfway there before Carlos noticed him, and the second their eyes met there was that...whatever it was again. A zing maybe. Really there wasn't a proper word to describe it, but it was real enough that Logan's breath caught and he had to force himself to not break stride. It was nothing. It meant nothing.

Carlos nervously licked his lips as Logan approached. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hi. Didn't mean to interrupt, I just needed to discuss something with you and this is my free period."

"Uh...sure. Guys, I want you to match up each engine to the diagrams in your manual. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Unsure where would be a good place to talk, Logan let Carlos lead him until they were outside the shop and in a hallway that was thankfully empty. "I didn't expect to see you here again," Carlos admitted.

Logan's stomach wouldn't settle down. There was no need to be uptight around Carlos, they'd both agreed the whole thing was a mistake. He had no idea what to say.

Carlos took the bull by the horns. "Look, you don't have to say it. I know I made things really awkward and you're a nice guy so you don't want to tell me that you'd rather I didn't sit with you guys every day. It's fine, I had already planned to stay in here."

"What? No! No, Carlos, I'm here for the exact opposite reason. I was afraid you'd think I didn't want you there, so I needed to let you know that...I do."

Hope blossomed in Carlos' gaze before he forcefully killed it. "Are you sure? I mean, it's awkward enough right now, isn't it going to be worse with your boyfriend around?"

"No. I want us to move past this. It was a mistake and we both know it and there's no reason we can't be friends." When Carlos seemed hesitant to agree to that, Logan said, "Unless of course you'd rather not be my friend. I'm sure that seeing me out of costume is a reminder of how uncool I really am."

"Oh my god, no! Are you kidding me? I had no idea a sweater could look so hot on anyone!"

They both blushed scarlet at the same time, unable to look at each other.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. You made it clear you're not into me like that and I'm just making it worse."

Logan didn't know how to feel. So many sensations were suddenly coming to the surface that he could hardly breathe. "It's..." Why was he breathless? He looked into Carlos' eyes and then immediately looked away because whatever he was feeling seemed to be mirrored there. Maybe Carlos was right and it would be a good idea for him to stay away.

"Look, I think what we need is to just...be normal. And a group of friends is the best way to do that, right? Just come have lunch with us, get to know James and Kendall, and...I'm sure we'll all be buddies in no time." Carlos still seemed unsure. "What if I bribed you with pizza?"

"Pizza?" he echoed, his face lighting up.

"Homemade. It's leftover from dinner, but I brought two pieces for myself and I usually only eat one."

"I do love pizza," Carlos grinned, and this time when their eyes met neither looked away. Logan couldn't fight the answering smile at his lips, though he did resist the urge to run a hand up Carlos' chest. What would Carlos do if he did? Would he run away in fear, or would his gaze heat up like it had just before that kiss, when he'd thrown all caution to the wind and just went for it with no holding back and why was Logan even thinking about this? He literally shook his head clear before speaking.

"So um. Come have lunch with us, okay? I promise everyone will be welcoming."

"Well, how can I say no to free pizza?"

"That's the spirit," Logan laughed. His hand was squeezing Carlos' shoulder before he realized what he was doing. Carlos took a step closer, and suddenly it wasn't nearly close enough.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Logan dropped his hand away, face flaming again. "See you at lunch."

"Right. I'll um...I'll sit on the other side of the table."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's...I should go."

"Are you sure? The period doesn't end for another ten minutes. You could come in and see what all we're working on."

And damn if that didn't sound like fun. Something about Carlos made him feel like a kid again, the way he had before his father's death forced him to grow up fast. "The students wouldn't mind?"

"No way, they can show off what they've learned." Logan hesitated until Carlos added, "Come on, this is step one of being just friends. We'll learn how to be in a room together and not think about sex."

A surprised laugh escaped Logan. Had he been thinking about sex? "Okay, you win. We just talk about cars. No sex."

"No sex," Carlos smirked. He held the door open for Logan. "After you. Friend."

Logan braced himself and took a deep breath. He could do this. Whatever this weird thing was with Carlos, he was happy with James and nothing else mattered. The more time they spent together as friends, the more it would fade.

"Thank you. Friend."