Chapter 5: Winter Part II
Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin
Previously: The temperature drops and the group accidentally steals poisoned food. Farlan stops Petra from helping a little girl and Petra stops Levi from killing merchants.
IMPORTANT! To old, returning readers: I've cleaned the story up a bit. You don't have to re-read the entire thing but at least re-read the first half of chapter two. Otherwise you might get confused later.
"Thank you for everything, dear," Dr. Frederic said, smiling. "This place runs much more smoothly with you here."
"I'll see you tomorrow, then." Petra left with a wave. Once outside, she pulled up the collars of her coat and sighed, her frosty breath easily visible. Sina was an incredibly cold place to live. Down in the Underground, it was even worse. Unlike aboveground, there weren't as many hot springs to help against the freezing weather.
Petra could have really used a little dip in a hot spring right then. It was still early in the evening when she came back. What? Some familiar faces were lurking around outside the house, sitting at the base of the stairs. They nodded at her as she passed by and she smiled in return. She hadn't known Levi was planning something. Why hadn't he told her? Voices floated over as she opened the door a bit and stepped in.
"...gotta be careful with those freaks. Are you sure, Levi?" A woman's voice came from inside.
"Yeah, I'm sure." His voice was grim.
The silence that followed made her pause. What were they talking about?
"We have to hurry, then. It's already been two days, even though we've been taking good care of them."
"We'll go tomorrow," Levi decided at last. They made plans and the conversation began to wrap up.
Petra had a feeling she wasn't supposed to know what they were talking about. She wasn't supposed to come back for another hour and Levi had planned the meeting to end before she got there. Carefully, she shut the door and straightened. Plastering a neutral look on her face, she opened the door loudly and stepped in, announcing her presence.
The others barely batted an eyelash at her, a few waving while Levi and Farlan stared wordlessly. Petra tried to go for innocent and surprised. "Oh, hello."
Farlan immediately came up to her. "Let's go, I'll catch you up." He led her up the stairs. She could hear Levi wrapping the secret meeting up quickly and quietly. "So," Farlan began, scratching his head, "you're probably wondering what that was about."
Petra stared silently, making him fidget.
He cleared his throat. "Well, uh, it's...we—" He stumbled over his words. Farlan took a breath. "The thing is, I didn't really wanna worry you or anything, and uh—"
"Farlan, just spit it out."
He laughed nervously. "Levi's rubbing off on you, isn't he?" On cue, the short man joined them and Farlan looked at him in relief. Something about the intense way Petra was eyeing him reduced him to stuttering mess, heart jumping.
"What's going on?" Petra rounded on Levi. "Why did you not tell me about this meeting?"
"We didn't tell you because I decided you sometimes become too much of a bleeding heart," Levi answered in his usual, blunt manner. Petra began to protest but he kept going. "But mostly because Farlan didn't want you feeling bad over this."
"What are you talking about?"
"We're going to split our dead comrades' belongings with each other and sell them or barter them."
He cannot be serious. But she knew he was. And as uncomfortable as it made her, Petra had to agree. Their comrades were dead. They wouldn't need their possessions anymore. It would be a waste to let their stuff sit around or be taken by their landlords. And it wasn't like she was not used to it. Back in the Survey Corps, they often took back the dead Scouts' uniforms and other things to be cleaned and reused later. It was cold but logical. "I don't like it, but it's necessary."
"Good." Levi accepted that and left.
"I'm sorry," Farlan apologized. "I didn't want you to feel guilty by making you part of the decision-making."
His words irked her. She wasn't some weak-willed civilian who needed protection from the harsh reality of their world. "I would have preferred you told me. I care, but that doesn't mean I'm fragile."
Petra tagged along with the group and stripped the apartments bare of anything that could be traded: clothes, cooking supplies, dishes, small trinkets, etc. Ransacking dead people's belongings, she never thought she'd ever be doing that in her life. It made her wonder whose job it was to strip the deceased Scouts on their clothes and boots and shuddered, hoping it was stranger. She couldn't imagine having to do that to people she knew.
At the end of the week, they finished getting rid of all the things they'd collected and managed to stock up quite nicely. As far as clothing and keeping warm went, they were set up for winter. Food they wouldn't need to start worrying about for another few weeks. They were in a good place, for now.
Levi watched Petra eat slowly, ignoring Isabel regaling them her tale of pranking some unassuming fool who had called her pigtails stupid. It had been subtle, but he hadn't missed it. Over the past few days, they had to ration. Little by little, Petra had been serving herself less food. At first, he was amazed her by self-sacrifice, going between admiration and wanting to thank her and grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her, demanding who asked her to be a damn martyr.
Irritation overpowered the tenderness he felt toward her now for her quiet selflessness. It was difficult to tell, but comparing her current self to when he had first met her, she seemed a little thinner.
To his displeasure, she continued to eat less than them. A couple of days later, he decided to confront her about it. "I'll help," he offered and stood from the table, taking some of the plates and glasses over to the sink.
Petra was on dish duty for the week. "Thanks."
Farlan and Isabel continued to talk, falling into an argument over something inconsequential and Levi kept silent. The two hadn't noticed her eating habits yet and Levi knew they would have felt bad if they found out. Feel guilty they hadn't noticed and she suffered silently. Farlan especially would be upset at that. He knew his best friend liked her. A lot.
Nothing could be done now, though. There was no need to upset them with it, Levi thought. So he waited for them to leave, but they stayed rooted, still bickering.
"Levi, can I ask you something?" Petra pulled him out of his thought. He grunted and she took that as affirmation. "Do you know what you're gonna do once you make it aboveground?" She wanted to know what his plans were so she could steer him in the direction of the military.
Yeah, I'm going to stop you from joining the Crazy Corps. Levi thought silently. He refused to let her turn herself into Titan food after surviving down there. Why would she throw away that freedom? He didn't understand. She was so good-heart and a genuinely wonderful person. She deserved better than getting eaten alive. But he had a suspicion about her that sort of explained her bizarre decision. "Not really, no," Levi answered her question. "Not sure what I'll do."
"Really? I thought you might want to open a tea shop." Petra smiled as her words gave him pause. It was what her captain wanted. He'd never said it, but she had been out shopping enough times with him to know what his dream was. She had seen his wistful glances toward such places when he thought no one was looking. Even if he didn't want to admit it to himself.
"That sounds pretty good, actually," Levi confessed. "Only if you help. You have a head for numbers, I don't." It was the truth. She was more educated than him, than any of them. Of that, there was no doubt. "I wouldn't know the first thing about running a business." Maybe he could use that to incentivize her into staying with them instead of becoming a soldier.
With a father who had one day hoped to have her take over the business after him, Petra had a decent idea where to start. "Well, let's see, we'll need money, a good place to set up shop, suppliers for our product unless we plan to procure the leaves ourselves, and a good name, too. But the most important thing, the very first thing we'll need is a business plan."
"See?" He was pleased to have her thinking about it. Now if he could get her on board and forget about that moronic decision to join the Suicide Corps, it'd be perfect. "That's why I'll need you. You know how to do this shit. You can be my partner."
Her eyes widened. "What?"
"What are you guys talking about?" Isabel wandered over, Farlan following.
Levi told them and she was rather skeptical.
"I'd love to help, sounds great!" Farlan nodded enthusiastically. He liked the idea of the four of them being their own bosses, making money, living happily on the surface. An image of him and Petra strolling under the warm yellow sun and through the lush forests he heard about popped up in his head, bringing a large, stupid smile to his face.
"A tea shop? Sounds kinda boring. Wouldn't it be more fun to have a bakery?" Isabel's eyes sparkled at the thought of being surrounded by cakes and brownies all day. Her mouth watered. She could almost smell the sweetness.
"You'd just eat everything." Levi rolled his eyes. He and Farlan began teasing her while Petra regretted ever bringing it up.
You idiot. What had she been thinking? Of course Levi would love the idea and jump on it. She should have known that without having a decent plan of their own about what to do once they gained citizenship, they might go for her suggestion. Something they could all do together and make money. Having grown close to them over time and their stressful situation had made her short-sighted.
Levi had to join the Survey Corps, no matter what.
Instead of trying to convince him of that, she had thoughtlessly brought up making his dream into a reality. Cursing internally, she bit her lip. What if Levi took her words seriously? How would she drag him away from what he wanted and toward what humanity needed? If he dug his heels in, she'd never be able to get him to budge. Sometimes her captain was incredibly stubborn and not even the commander could change his mind. If Levi made up his mind, she wouldn't be able to do a thing.
And knowing what he thought about the Survey Corps, he might even stand in her way and try to keep her from joining. What did I just do?
"Hey, what're you doing here?" Petra stood as Levi approached the front desk of the clinic.
"You're almost done, aren't you?"
"Yeah." She began tidying up.
"We'll walk home together." They fell in step together. At first, he was quiet, listening to her talk, commenting something now and then. "You really love to read, huh?" She nodded enthusiastically. "Who taught you?"
Her smile faltered. "My mother, and father. My parents taught me," she fibbed. It wasn't entirely false. They did teach her the alphabet before she began school and learned properly.
"Which sector were you born in? I'm guessing it was one of the northern ones. You can read and write better than most people I know and you really know your numbers." And the geography of the districts aboveground, he added mentally, having overheard her once talking to Isabel. Isabel wasn't as observant as him and Petra was less careful with her words with the girl.
Petra dodged the inquiry. "You've never asked about my past before." She had been surprised and relieved that she would be spared from having to fabricate a story about her past.
"Didn't feel the need to know you better then. Besides, you might have lied. I didn't trust you to be honest." Levi stared into her amber eyes. "But I trust you now."
"Where are you from?" Petra turned it on him instead. She and her squad sometimes joked their captain popped into existence one day, short, grouchy, and with a broom in one hand. The image was strangely cute and she almost giggled.
"Came from where many of the street brats here come from," Levi found himself speaking honestly, "a brothel." Her eyes widened, amazed he was actually telling her. "My mother was a whore. Died when I was still young. Nearly followed after her, slowly starving to death."
Petra couldn't believe he was actually sharing his story with her. "What happened?"
Levi ignored her question. "Tell me, how did you end up as a bounty hunter? I figured the living conditions in the northern sectors would be better than here."
"They are," Petra answered carefully. Technically speaking, her birthplace was in the northern section of the district she was from. It just didn't happen to be the northern place down here but a district up there.
"The 4th Sector is the most well off. Never been there but I've heard of it." He glanced at her. "Your knowledge, skills, clean accent all point to a fairly decent upbringing. Are you from there?"
"Yes," she replied, avoiding eye contact. He hated liars, but she figured it wasn't that horrible a lie and he'd understand once she came clean.
Levi nodded, his expression neutral as she confirmed his suspicions. The 4th Sector had been abandoned for decades due to a large scale asbestosis problem. It was the only one of the northern sectors that was in horrible, unlivable condition. She's not from the Underground City. Now the question was how and why she came to live down there. What had happened that was so bad she came to the Underground of all places to get away?
And why would she want to join the Survey Corps when we get citizenship? He couldn't make sense of it. They all had a past and he respected and trusted her enough not to pry. But he couldn't help but wonder what happened to her. Free sunlight, fresh air, and a chance at hope and survival, how could she leave that behind? For this dump, too. Instead of anywhere else in the Walls. There was no logical reason.
Unless she was on the run from the Royal Government. That was the only thing that made. Despite being situated below Wall Sina, the Underground was a bit out of the monarchy's reach. Because they couldn't be bothered with the city, they held little influence there. None of his thoughts filtered across his carefully neutral face. Only half listening to her talk, he hummed in agreement.
It still didn't explain about her death wish to join the Corps. Maybe they were out of the government reach, too. From what little he knew or cared about the military, the MP were the most influenced by the government.
Blanket wrapped tightly around her, Petra sat on the couch. One year. She only had to survive down in the Underground for one year before whatever happened to lead Erwin to find and recruit Levi. Sitting alone in the middle of the night with no distractions around, Petra's thought went in a direction she had been steadfastly ignoring for a while.
Isabel and Farlan.
There was no doubt in her mind about their fate. Having grown fond of them, she didn't like thinking about it, but she couldn't push it out of her mind now. Considering Levi's strong bond with them, it made no sense for the three of them to separate. Death was the only thing that made the most sense.
Farlan and Isabel, they're going to die within the next three to four years. The year was 843. Originally, Petra had joined the Survey Corps in 847 and she had never seen nor heard of them, so she was almost sure they had died before then. Whether it happened before Levi joined the Corps or after was what she couldn't be sure of. Perhaps they did make it out and lost their lives on an expedition. In fact, she was fairly certain it was the latter because Hange had once implied, while under the influence, that Levi had lost people close to him. But she had written it off as close comrades, individuals he had gotten close to in the military.
Trouble was, her captain hadn't been one to share the intimate details of his life in the future with his squad, so she was clueless about the specifics. What little she knew came from the Scouts who had been around when he joined. Most of them had died in the line of duty and those who remained were tight-lipped, not ones to gossip about a comrade behind his back. Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't be able to save their lives.
Time was something she had enough of and it gave her the chance to think deeply about her situation. It made her wonder if she did know how and when Isabel and Farlan perished, what would decision would she have made? Save their lives or keep things as close to how they had originally happened? The soldier in her pointed out the rational decision, but it made her uncomfortable to think about. Doesn't matter, she shook her head. Relief filled her at the thought the decision was out of her hands. Isabel and Farlan could keel over the very next day or three years from it. Petra was glad she wouldn't have to shoulder the responsibility of such a decision.
But it still bothered her, thinking if Levi would become furious with her for not saving their lives or warning him once she told him everything. A ball of dread grew in her stomach. What if it became apparent how they died? No, no, don't stress out over made up scenarios. Currently, it was out her control. Besides, how would—if she were given the chance to save the two and did so—change the future that much? And really, wouldn't it defeat the purpose of having knowledge of the future and not using it to save people?
With a shake of her head, she dismissed the whirling thoughts. At this point, I can't do a thing. It was out of her hands.
Quiet footsteps came from the stairs and she knew it was Levi who descended without needing to turn her head. "What are you doing up at this hour?" He joined her.
She shrugged, muttering, "Couldn't sleep."
At least she's not up on the roof again. Levi nodded. "Me neither." He began cleaning his knife, feeling her eyes on him but didn't meet her gaze. "Is there something on your mind?"
"You know, the usual. Overthinking stuff and being anxious about things that haven't happened yet and might not happen," Petra answered vaguely albeit honestly.
Levi was silent before speaking, "I've been meaning to talk to you for a few days now. Shit keeps coming up though so I haven't had the chance."
"Talk about what?"
"Maybe you're having trouble sleeping because you're not eating enough."
"Probably," Petra agreed. "But we have to ration—"
"That's not what I meant." He met her gaze and held it. "I've noticed you keep giving us your share of the food and eating less yourself. Why are you doing that?"
It didn't surprise her he knew. He was very observant. "Isabel's a growing girl and you and Farlan need to eat more than me."
Levi shot her a glare. "What about if you get ill? Don't be a hero. If you did it occasionally, fine. But you can't keep doing this for a long period of time. Do you think Farlan and Isabel will be happy if they find out about this? How would you feel in their shoes?"
"I only wanted to help."
"Then help by not leaving yourself so weak. No one said you had to make all the sacrifices," Levi scolded. "And we'll be fine. We've survived worse than this. And during those times, we didn't have each other. It's a shitty situation, yes, but you're too anxious and making it into something far worse than it actually it," he lied a little. "So knock it off."
Petra took a deep breath. Maybe he was right. He knew more about surviving down there than she did. And she didn't want to be a burden to the group. "Okay," she gave in.
Levi considered telling her he knew she wasn't from the Underground. No reason why it needed to be kept a secret. Really it might help instead and make her pause and think about her selfless yet alarming actions. But if she didn't feel ready to tell them for whatever reason then he wouldn't force her to confront it. Not that he would force her to spill everything. She didn't pry into his past and he would offer her the same courtesy.
Neither spoke for a while.
It was quiet but not awkward.
Eventually, Petra scooted closer to him, her shoulder brushing his. "You always carry that knife."
"It's the only item I have that I value." Levi observed the knife, its familiar shape and weight providing comfort.
"It holds personal meaning to you." Petra knew he kept the weapon on his person at all times in the future.
"It was a gift from my mentor."
"Your mentor?" Petra asked curiously. She wondered who it was that had trained Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Levi didn't elaborate, only offering a grunt and she dropped it. Maybe another time. Lost in her thoughts about the individual who raised Levi—because if his mother died young, it had to be the mentor who raised him—she sat quietly, spacing out. There was no need to fill the air with meaningless chatter.
And once more, a comfortable and companionable silence fell between them.
Levi continued to wipe his blade with the cloth, more for the solace it brought rather than actually cleaning it.
Next to him, Petra's breathing was becoming slower and deeper, also soothing in its own way.
Barely a minute later, he felt her slump against him. For a moment, he considered waking her and telling her to go sleep in her bed. But she looked so peaceful he didn't want to interrupt her slumber. What if she had trouble falling asleep again after he woke her? He closed the switchblade.
Slowly crossing his arms, careful not to jostle her, Levi made himself comfortable, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
Farlan came down the stairs and stood before them. "You two look cozy," he teased with a strained smile.
"She fell asleep on me," Levi replied promptly, noting how his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "She wasn't feeling too well and needed the rest so I couldn't move her. Mind holding her so I can finally get up? My neck's killing me."
Cradling her head, Farlan kept her in her spot so Levi could slip way, then gently lowered her. Petra didn't wake, settling on the couch.
Levi stretched his neck and rotated his shoulder. "Thanks."
"So, what were you two talking about so late?" He had heard his roommate leave before falling back asleep a second later.
"You sound like a jealous boyfriend."
"I'm not her boyfriend!"
"You're being too loud."
"I'm just curious," Farlan insisted, lowering his voice.
Levi snorted. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever."
"H-Hey, Levi, wait..."
Levi paused. "What?"
"You and Petra are close, so, I was wondering... If there's something between you two and—"
"No," Levi interrupted, somewhat amused by how flustered his best friend was. But he didn't want any drama. "There's nothing. Not on my end. Probably not hers either. And to the best of my knowledge, she's not interested in anyone else. So if you want to make a move on her, you—"
"No, no," Farlan denied, shaking his head, not all convincing. "I was just asking."
"Well, alright then."
"I'll get started on breakfast." Farlan watched him disappear. Once Levi was out of sight, embarrassment made him twist his face as he mentally kicked himself. A pathetic groan escaped him, thinking how obvious he had been. Petra shifted, still dozing. Kneeling, he brushed some hair out of her face, smiling.
For now, he was content with getting to know her better, telling her more about himself, and strengthening what they had. Really he just didn't quite have the courage to express his growing feelings for her. Not yet.
A noise came from upstairs and he straightened. He did not need to get caught staring and smiling dopily at the sleeping woman. Isabel would be unbearable and tease him mercilessly.
Sorry this update took forever. I started this story without a proper plot in mind, so once the new story excitement passed, updates slowed then came to a screeching halt. I was totally lost and became unmotivated cause I had no idea where to go. I've written out some ideas now so hopefully, the next chapter won't take another 3 years!
Please Review~