Life, Cameras...Fiction! Chapter 1 "They're what?"
Edited by Eng050599
Nick hung his set of keys next to the front door of their apartment. With a dejected sigh, he shuffled over to the nearby couch and threw himself onto it headfirst. It may have been a few seconds, or a few minutes that had passed when the door opened up a second time, revealing a haggard Judy, who was loaded down with a sizable pile of flyers and junk mail.
"Any real mail?" Nick asked, his muzzle unmoving from the couch. A slight 'hmm' was his answer as Judy tossed the pile onto the coffee table in front of the tired fox.
"Don't know.." she replied. Making her way to the kitchen, she grabbed the carrot juice out of the fridge and after taking a slight peek at husband to make sure he wasn't watching, guzzled it straight from the carton.
Tonight was not a moment for wasted movements.
"Carrots, tell me again why we took two shifts in a row, and then decided to chase down those impala?"
"They had spray painted that alley with slurs," she replied, plopping down next to Nick and propping her feet up on the table.
"Couldn't we have called it in to Jackie? She likes to chase mammals, right?"
Judy rolled her eyes as she reached for the pile of mail on the table. Water bill...delousing notification for next week...Bearna Vista Entertainment...
"Huh?"
Judy's singular expression perked Nick's ears in her direction. "Huh?" he repeated. "Is that a good or bad sign?"
"Don't know..." she replied. Judy sliced open the letter with her small claw, unfolding the note within. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Nick and Judy Wilde-Hopps. We would like to extend an invitation for you to join us on the set of the upcoming movie celebrating your exploits during the Missing Mammals and Night Howler."
"Wait...what?" Nick was up like a shot, looking over Judy's shoulder as she read on. Both mammals were shocked by the invitation, but very much intrigued as well.
"We will begin filming next week and have already contacted Chief Bogo and the Mayor regarding the project, so if you decide to accept our offer of supplying your first paw knowledge to the movie, your time off from work will be compensated."
Nick gave a chuckle at that. "You mean all we have to do is just nod and say, 'yeah, that looks good' and we both get paid and don't have to chase criminals for a while? Sign me up!"
Judy stifled a giggle of her own while playfully shoving his shoulder. "Nick, That wouldn't be all we would have to do. Though this does sound intriguing. What do you think? Should we do this?"
Nick scratched his chin. "Well, it sounds like they're going to make the movie with or without us, so why not tag along and see what others think we did on our little adventure, hmm?"
Judy smiled, pondering the thought over. If they did take them up on this offer, they could have some time off of work, which after clocking in 70 hour weeks for the past month they sorely needed. Fitwik had been doing renovations to his arcade, an incident with the ZPD, Nick and Judy included in the call, shutting down a drunk elephants unscheduled frat party causing quite extensive damage. It had meant they couldn't quite enjoy the arcade the past two weeks while the cleanup happened, new arcade machines ordered and the spilled remains of the elephant sized slushie pool cleaned up.
"You know," Judy began as she turned and crawled onto Nick's lap, wrapping her arms around him. "I think we both know what our answer is that to question."
A week later, both fox and rabbit found themselves walking onto the grounds of the studio lot located on the outskirts of the Meadowlands. The guards at the entrance, two southern elands, had already checked their credentials and reminded them that they were authorized anywhere on the lot, though specifically 'Lot A' would be where they were expected. A golf cart had appeared moments later to shuttle them across the production studio to where they'd be working with the director on the film, tentatively called, "Savage Love".
Neither had been happy with the name, and were wondering exactly what they had gotten into with this project.
"So, the title..." Nick droned as they sped past several large, hanger-like buildings. He raised an eyebrow as they passed a group of mammals around a grey wolf in an Indiana Bones outfit.
"I don't li-" Judy began, but Nick's attention was focused on the wolf, and his head swiveled to track the actor as the cart drove by.
"Are they really making another one of those?" Nick interjected, tapping Judy on the arm as the fox pointed towards the actor, Harrison Furred. The rabbit looked, rolling her eyes and huffing when she saw the aged mammal walking slowly towards the set.
"Looks like it," she grumbled. "Couldn't they have just left the originals alone? Raiders of the Lost Bark was one of my favorites growing up."
They turned a corner, quickly losing sight of the group, passing by lot after lot, mammals of all shapes and sizes running around in all types of dress. Finally, after a few more turns the driver of the shuttle slowed the car to a stop.
"We're here," the zebra stated merrily, placing an elbow over the head rest and arching his neck around to view his passengers. "And by the way, thank you two so much for what you've done for this city. YoutwodeservethismoviesomuchforallyourwonderfulworkaswellinthecityandcouldipossiblyhaveyourautographsorsinceIdon'thaveanypapercouldyousignmyforeheard?!" His voice kept rising in excitement until he let out a whinny at the end. Both Nick and Judy chuckled at the herbivore's enthusiasm. It reminding them of a certain cheetah's back at the precinct.
"What can I say but, you're welcome," Nick replied merrily, reaching out both paws to his sides while smiling.
"Awwwwwwww!" the zebra gasped loudly, attracting the attention of a whole slew of mammals within earshot. "You like Meowna too?"
Judy pushed her husband out of the cart. "He's a big fan," she declared for him. "Thank you for the ride!" she chirped as she grabbed Nick's paw and walked towards the doors, the fox walking along at a steady pace behind her.
"Well, that was interesting," Nick finally stated as they reached the side doors of the set, labeled 11-3. He waved to the zebra who was enthusiastically waving back, so much so he had forgotten to look ahead of him before starting the cart and ran it headlong into several crates. Judy swiveled around, her instant reflect with her paw going to her hip where her radio and tranquilizer were kept.
Nick winced, shoulders raising while offering a grimace at the site.
"Sorry, sorry, my bad! Totally my bad!" the zebra shouted before backing up...into a cart that was now waiting behind him. "Oh sorry! Sorry!
"Let's go..." Nick said calmly while pointing towards the door. Nodding in agreement, Judy flashed the identification card they'd been given under the security device on the side of the door. It blinked green and both mammals entered quickly as another crunch sounded.
"Sorry!"
Once inside, the pair marveled at the sights around them as their eyes adjusted to the darker insides of the building. Multiple sets had been constructed all along the walls of the building on both sides with massive dividers up in between them. As they walked along the center of the buildings, expertly dodging cameras and props being wheeled about and jumping over electric cables, they recognized several places instantly.
A rainforest scene had been set up nearest to them, replicating the biome so perfectly that both wondered if it was actually real. Nick's nose twitched as he tried to answer what sight alone could not. A ways down from that was a massive snowy forest scene while the set at the end of the titanic building looked to be an exact replica of the subway where they'd found Doug and the night howler lab.
"This is amazing," Judy whispered, eyes filled with wonder as they spotted more scenes set up, some familiar and some...peculiar. One in particular caught her eye. "Why is there a sauna set up over there?" she asked, pointing out the scene to Nick.
He offered a shrug. "Don't know, Carrots, but..." he saw a beret wearing jaguar waving them over, a bright, crisp smile on his muzzle that matched his articulately designed designer jeans and red polo. "...I think we're about to find out."
"Welcome!" the jaguar boomed across the floor as he bounded towards them. "Welcome, welcome, welcome, you two!" He offered his paw, and when it had been taken by Nick, shook the fox's paw furiously. "I'm so delighted that you two decided to come and watch us film a movie about your exploits as a couple."
"Uh..." Judy stammered, ears alert while Nick's eyes widened.
"We weren't..." Nick began.
"...a couple..." Judy continued, her eyes roaming back towards the sauna with some trepidation given the director's statement.
"...when this happened," they finished together. The jaguar gave them an appraising look before waving his paw at them.
"Of course you weren't, silly me," he purred. "Well, lets' introduce you to everyone. I am the director, Arthur Purran and my co-director over here," he waved over to a moose who smiled at the couple, "...is David Antlerson."
"Nice to meet you," Judy stated, recovering slightly from the faux paus from earlier.
"Good to meet you two as well," the moose enjoined. "If you'd like to meet the ones playing you two, you should head over to that building in between the Tundratown and Subway sets. I think you'll enjoy meeting them as they have been wanting to meet you two for a while once they heard there was a possibility of you two showing up on set."
"Right," Judy replied. Together, she and Nick left the director and co-director and walked towards the trailer that had been settled between the two sets. It was rather large, probably built more for medium to medium large sized mammals, and quite exquisitely made. "This thing must have cost a fortune," Judy remarked as they walked along side it, reaching several steps which led to a landing in front of a large door. Two stars appeared on it, one labeled "Ace Foxner" while the second was "Genny Thumper".
Nick knocked on the door. He was a bit giddy at the name of the actor who'd be portraying him. "Do you think it is really him, Fluff?" he asked excitedly. "The Ace Foxner who starred in 'MacFurland' and 'Fur Love of the game?"
Judy was taken aback by his sudden question, but not for the reason he expected. "You like Furball?" she asked with a smile. "Why hadn't you told me this before? I would have bought those tickets to see the Gnu York Yakees when they came into town last year."
"Never came up," Nick answered with a shrug as the door opened and his attention was riveted onto the open space before him where he saw...
Both Nick and Judy blinked several times at the rabbit who opened the door. She was roughly the same height as Judy, same black ear tips, same grey fur, the only real difference being the attitude she held herself with and her eye tone, a deep green not unlike Nick's own. Her outfit matched Judy's ZPD uniform to the stitch, complete with a badge and all.
"Judy? Do you have a clone?" the fox asked, staring back and forth between the two rabbits. "Or a long lost sister? As either of those would seem to work in this case."
The rabbit in the doorway grinned. "Genny Thumper, pleasure to meet you two." She extended her paw, first to Judy, then to Nick, before heading back inside, waving her paw behind her in a motion to have them follow her inside. Once they had entered, Genny plopped herself down on the comfortable looking sofa. "I'm sure you've come for introductions?"
"Yes, absolutely," Nick began. "That as well as learn a bit more about this movie that is being made about us."
Judy nodded. "Exactly. What's with the sauna scene across from this trailer?" She paused to look at Nick who had on a bemused smirk. "I don't remember that particular detail from solving those crimes."
"That?" a voice commented from behind a door at the far end of the trailer past two makeup stations. The sound of running water was heard before the door opened and a red fox walked out. "That's for my favorite part of your story that I've heard so far."
It was Judy's turn to be surprised as the fox that walked towards them looked exactly like Nick had during their adventure, complete down to his tacky Pawaiian shirt. The only real difference was his fur was more coarse than Nick's and the tod in front of them had vivid golden eyes. The tod walked over and reached his paw out, gently shaking both Judy and Nick's paws before placing his paws on his hips. "I can't believe you guys hit it off like that.
Judy and Nick looked at each other. "Hit it off?" they said simultaneously, each remembering their initial few meetings. Judy let out a nervous laugh, as her suspicions surrounding the presence of the sauna appeared to be validated. "I don't think we really-"
The door to the trailer opened at the same time a knock sounded. A wildebeest poked his head through the door. "Hey dudes, the boss man says it's time for the first scene since the cool dudes are here. The wildebeest glanced over at Nick and Judy and waved. "Hey cool dudes!"
Nick offered a friendly wave back and an amused grin as Judy just became more and more confused by everything happening as Ace offered his paw to Genny and the two walked towards the door. Not wanting to be left behind, and wondering what on earth was going on, Judy and nick followed.
Within minutes, Judy and Nick were situated behind the director, watching the chaos around them as everyone put the last minute details into preparing for the shoot.
"Alright, places everyone!" the director yelled through an old megaphone.
"Is that really necessary?" Nick asked, pointing out the device to Judy. "I haven't heard of anyone using one of those since Alfred Hitchcamel.
"Oh shush," Judy said with a wave of her paw. "I want to see what will happen here." She recrossed her arms again as she looked over the set in front of them. The insides of a familiar looking hospital had been recreated within the massive hangar. Lines of cells on either side of the set piece already had several actors walking back and forth on all fours, while others appeared to be limbering up, stretching their paws before settling down on all fours. Several cameras had been set up at different angles and the hallway was much wider than either Judy or Nick had remembered it being. Genny and Ace were in the middle of the hallway, seeming to rehearse their lines, though Judy couldn't make out what they were saying over the din of the production.
"Alright, quiet on the set!" the director yelled. Several seconds passed before silence pervaded the hanger. "And...action!"
"We don't have much time!" Ace told Genny, panic filling his voice. "The wolves will be here any second. You have to go, I'll stall them!"
"I'm not leaving you behind!" an almost tearful Genny proclaimed, latching onto Nick's arm. "You mean so much to me and I won't let them turn you into one of them!"
Their conversation was interrupted by a loud bang. Nick and Judy turned to see a steel door being smashed with a hammer off set. The noise caused both Genny's and Ace's ears to upturn at the sound. Nick pushed Judy back from the sound, placing his arm in front of her in a protective stance.
"Go," he whispered, the sound easily picked up on the microphone boom placed above him.
The slamming sounded again, but this time Genny pushed past Nick. "If you think I'll be leaving my one true love behind, you have another thing coming, Foxy."
Genny yanked down on his tie and laid a passionate kiss upon his lips, one which the fox returned graciously. It continued through four more bangs on the door before a louder screeching metallic sound filled the set. The fox and rabbit turned towards the camera and the sound and Genny grinned."Now let's finish this, love."
"Aaannnnd cut! Wonderful job you two! Absolutely brilliant!" The director turned in his seat. "So, what do you two think? Did you...like...the...scene?"
His words died on his lips at the horrified looks on both Judy and Nick's faces. Their jaws were hanging open and eyes wide with a mix of shock and horror. Judy's left eye twitched once while Nick's tail was frozen out behind him. A full minute went past before either bunny or fox moved a muscle, and even then, it was only to look at one another.
Judy was the first to recover somewhat from her shock, yet her words summed up both of their feelings all too well,"Sweet cheese and crackers...what was that?!"
"How did you even come up with that? Our accounts of what happened at Cliffside are public records!"
It was several minutes after the ending of the scene, and the two police officers were still drilling the director over the gross negligence his film had towards accuracy. Nick now simply settled for glaring at the director, his ears lowered and paws crossed against his chest. He hadn't needed to say a single thing as Judy was saying plenty for the both of them. She had been on a roll the past fifteen minutes in the trailer for Genny and Ace, which with the director, co-director and scriptwriter, a none-too-small deer, was starting to feel a bit crowded as the rabbit tore into them.
"We wanted to spice things up a bit," the deer replied, smiling brightly at Nick and Judy. "We felt that the scene needed some pizazz and since you two are married, a little bit of fluff worked perfectly for what we wante-"
"Peas and carrots!" Judy shouted in frustration. Her gaze was levelled at the doe and even though the rabbit was three times shorter than the deer, more so since Judy's ears were lowered, the rabbit filled the small space with her presence. "We weren't together back then! Just the next day I hurt Nick more than anyone should have to go through so you need to take that out!"
"I agree on all points," Nick chimed in, nodded slightly. "Cliffside was not a time for romance between us. More like a time for fear and a whole lot of Judy here saving the day."
The corners of Judy's lips twisted up into a smile. She could trust her husband to know what to say to level with the mammals in the room.
"So…" the director began. "You want us to drop the kiss?"
"Do we want you to rewrite the entire scene?" Nick began. "Yes, yes we do."
The director let out a huff. "Fine, we can do that, but…" he raised a single finger. "I want you to see what he had planned after that bit and approve it."
"We have the time to do that," Judy stated calmly. "I mean, it's not like you can mess up what actually happened more, right?"
The director and co-director looked at each other and nervously laughed. Judy's ears drooped as she once again had the sinking feeling that the two mammals were more than capable of making things far, far worse for her and Nick.
Twenty minutes later
"And….action!"
Judy and Nick watched as five armed wolves stormed onto the set, racing towards the stunt doubles for Genny and Ace. Judy had been impressed when she'd learned that the stunt double for Genny was none other than the MMA bunny Jade Warren. The grey doe was thrilled to meet another bunny who had broken through the barriers that most placed upon their species, and Jade was happy to have met the first police rabbit.
Nick's stunt double Max Vulpino wasn't a name they'd heard before, but the fox seemed to know what he was doing...even if it wasn't even close to what either Judy or Nick ever remembered doing during their brief visit to Cliffside.
"Nick" lunged forward, sliding under the legs of the lead wolf, who leaned his head between his legs to see the fox now behind him. He looked up briefly, only to catch a spinning roundhouse kick from "Judy".
"What the…" Judy could hear Nick murmur as the action scene progressed. With the lead wolf down, "Judy" leapt off the stunned canine's muzzle towards the wall, using it as a bracing point to attack the next wolf in line.
"Catch Nick!" 'Judy' yelled, flinging a small red bottle at the fox currently trading punches with a wolf twice his size. 'Nick' caught the bottle and grinned as he aimed it at the wolf.
"You can't be serious…" Judy gasped, covering her mouth with her paws as her eyes went wide. She could hear Nick nervously laugh next to her, then saw him cringe when the bottle of fox repellant was sprayed in the wolf's face.
The rest of the action progressed much the same way. Several shots were lined up to showcase the moves of Judy and Nick in fighting off the pack of wolves until both fox and rabbit, after a ridiculous action pose between the two of them, KO'ed the final wolf.
"Aaaannnndd….cut! That was perfect you two!" Max and Jade smiled as they helped up some of the wolves from faking being out cold. The director turned towards the real Judy and Nick, a million dollar grin on his muzzle. "So, what did you two think? Does it match what you two did perfectly or what?"
It took several seconds for either mammal to respond.
"Well...uh…" Judy stammered, before Nick coughed into his paw.
"Was it a nice action scene for a movie that is based wholly and entirely not on what happened? Yes, yes it was."
"What do you mean?" The director was giving them a puzzled look. "I took the moves you both did right from the transcript of what happened. He held up a ream of paper and passed it over to the duo. "You can look at it yourself."
"I'm fairly sure we knew what we did there…" Judy said in a neutral tone while glancing at the proffered papers. After a few seconds she let out a groan. "Nick...this isn't our police account of what happened...this is some mammal's fantasy of what we did at Cliffside."
"You mean some sort of fiction written by a fan of ours?" Nick asked, perusing the documents. Judy nodded as Nick flipped more pages over. "Wait…" He placed his finger on a part of the script as he looked with wide eyes at the director. "Why does it say Lionheart challenges us to a personal duel?"
"Wait, what?!"
Judy was quick to grab the papers from Nick, her eyes widening and ears falling. Only a few seconds passed before she let the script fall from her paws to the ground. She rubbed her paws over her face and groaned.
"That's a good groan, yes?"
The director was looking at them, brandishing a smile.
"Was that a good groan?" Nick chimed in, letting out a heavy sigh. "No...no it was not." He grabbed Judy's paw, garnering her attention before nodding his head in the direction of the stage. "How about we show them what we really did here, Carrots, and flush this script down the drain, eh?"
Judy shook her head and groaned. "Really, Nick?"
"You two would act out what you did for us?"
Nick and Judy turned to see an excited Genny jogging towards them, with Ace following on her heels. Not far behind were Max and Jade, who were both curious as to what the actual heroes of Zootopia had to say.
"Aboslutely, one hundred percent," Nick chimed with a grin. "Can't let this movie go down the drain now, can we?"
"Nick…" Judy groaned.
The next several hours were passed by Judy and Nick inside the trailer with a copy of the script, Genny, Ace, Max and Jade. Together with the entourage of actors and stunt doubles, the police partners when line by tedious line through the script, marking out each reprobate line and scene that didn't match what actually happened.
Four hours after they had entered the trailer, the three pairs of rabbits and foxes emerged, Judy and Nick leading the group, as they advanced on the nervous looking director. As they reached the jaguar, he glanced at them with a hopeful expression.
That expression died like the dinosaurs of old as Judy hefted the script over a trash can and dumped the entire thing into it.
"Fix it…" the rabbit stated bluntly.
The director stared at the script in the trashcan. His gaze momentarily flickering to the doe's. "Which part?" he tentatively asked, his nervousness more than apparent.
"All of it," Nick answered for Judy, staring down the director even though the feline stood several feet taller than the fox. "I'm sure that everything past the fifteen pages we went through is excellent, and, by they way, I am a huge fan of the steamy hot tub scene at the naturalist club between Carrots and I, and of ninjas in general," his comment came with a quick shove from Judy, "...however, none of it came even close to what actually occurred."
"Oh…"
The jaguar's face fell as his shoulders slumped. "And we hadn't even gotten to the good part of this scene yet…" He waved a paw around the mock set up of Cliffside.
"We read that part," Judy interjected, crossing her arms across her chest. "And last time I checked, Nick's never had his arm snapped in half by a lion before, so that scene is definitely out."
The director looked sullenly at a large, shirtless lion in suit pants stretching next to the set. The lion caught the director's eyes, and at a shake of the directors head, the lion's shoulders slumped, and the big cat broke down sobbing as a nearby rhino patted him on the back. "Hans Lejon is going to be so distraught as that was his premier scene in the movie."
"Who?" Nick asked. The director pointed at the massive lion. "He was going to play Lionheart in the fight scene between you three." The director's ears perked up. "Can we keep the ninja's at least?" the feline mewed.
The looks that Nick and Judy shot at him should have been enough, but they quickly replied as one. "No…"
"Maybe just one?"
Nick offered a harder stare while pointing one paw at the director. "I believe what we said was...no. You will not be putting ninja's into a movie about us."
"Aww, fishsticks…"
Nick and Judy arrived home exhausted, both plopping onto the couch without the least semblance of decency.
"Why us…" Nick groaned. "Why did we accept to help with the shooting of this film...and for the next four weeks!"
Judy mumbled something into the couch, and if Nick had heard correctly, he wasn't sure he wanted her to repeat it. The fox rolled over from his front to his back, still laying over the arm of the couch as he stared at Judy who was splayed out over the cushions. Sighing in both exhaustion and a heaping spoonful of regret for thinking that dealing with Hollywood would have been a fun experience for either of them, Nick gently moved off the couch and scooped up Judy in his arms.
The rabbit was too annoyed to care about being moved at this point, her frustration having been aired more in the past few hours than the entirety of her career at the ZPD. Instead, she relaxed into the arms of her mate, knowing that at least he was real, and not some Hollywood warped version.
"Come on," Nick said as he trundled over to their room. "Let's get your mind off that script for a bit with something I know you will enjoy."
"You?" Judy murmured, snuggling into Nick's arms and giggling as Nick stumbled as he pushed open their bedroom door with his back.
"Well, I was thinking more of an hour of Nick's famous foot and ear rubs..."
For the second time in as many moments Nick was startled as Judy leapt from his arms onto the bed, placed a pillow beneath her head and arms and smiled as she looked back at her husband. "I'll have to pay you back, you know," she whispered as he drew close and began to massage her feet. A thrill ran up her spine at the pressure and relief she felt from his paws caressing her foot paws.
'And what would that be?" Nick asked inquisitively. Judy waggled a finger for him to come closer. He leaned in as Judy whispered into his ear, his eyes widening as a silly grin appeared on his face.
"Deal, Carrots," he said, excitement tinging his words. "And for that you get double the time for your massage."
Nick hit a sensitive area of her foot, relieving a sore spot and sending a wave of relief flooding through her system. Judy couldn't help but sigh in relief and begin to purr. "That is fine with me, Nick," she began, all thoughts of the terrible day or the days to come, on her mind. "That is fine with me..."
AN: Jackie Spotters is an OC of Libious. Ace and Genny Thumper are RobertFidler's OC's from DA and Jade Warren belongs to Fox in the Henhouse. The rest are made up. XD