Nick Wilde: Ace Attorney

Chapter 4: Slow and Unsteady

Written by Berserker88

Edited by Mind Jack

Cover art by Quirky Middle-Child

12: 07 PM

Zootopian Central Courthouse - Defendant Lobby No. 3

"Yep. It's hopeless." Finnick's brief burst of optimism didn't last. "Seriously, a sloth?! Who's ever going to buy that he's the killer?! All of this based off the testimonies of a hallucinating hippie and a drug-dealing sheep! This is completely, absolutely-!"

"Hey, can you keep it down?" Nick shushed him, staring down at his phone. His eyes hadn't left it since court was adjourned.

It was a wonder how quickly Nick could defuse Finnick's temper through sheer confusion, but that was just one of the reasons why they made a good team. "What are you even doing?"

"Research," he said, skimming through page after page with no end in sight.

"On the case? Who are you and what have you done with Nick Wilde?"

"No, not on the case. On Prosecutor Hopps."

Talented as Nick was at cooling the fennec down, he could incite him again just as easily. "You're doing that now?!"

"Doing it during the trial would be rude, Finn."

And back down again. "...Whatever, not like we can do much else anyway until Flash shows up, which could be another few hours. Might as well get some intel on the enemy."

(Probably best not to tell him that he was only doing this out of personal curiosity.) "Right. You have to know your enemy to win battles for yourself, or however that goes."

"Find anything so far?"

"Not much, aside from a bunch of reports about how great she is. Let's try dropping the prosecutor part and just Zoogle 'Judy Hopps'." He felt much like his predatory ancestors in that moment, just hunting through the web instead of the woods. And it was just as hard to sift through. "Junk...junk...clickbait...junk...oh dear."

"What? Don't tell me your cheap phone crapped out again."

"Not that, just, well...look." Nick turned the screen so his partner could see what he'd come across. It was a scan of an old news article, dated many many years ago.

"The Bunnyburrow Blabbermouth? They have internet in Bunnyburrow?"

Nick found himself unusually annoyed for reasons he couldn't fathom. "The headline."

Potential Policemammal Pulled Painfully From Pedestal

"Hopps wanted to hang with the cops? Seems like kind of a step down from prosecutor if you ask me."

"Maybe, but that was her dream," Nick said solemnly. "And it looks like she didn't get to fulfill it."

"Keep reading," Finnick pressed, more interested than he would've liked to seem.

(The wonders of the internet.) Nick had to squint just to read the old, tiny print.

Just this morning, eight year-old Judy Hopps performed at this year's Carrot Days Festival with other members of her class. As they each revealed their lifelong passions, this young girl loudly proclaimed that she would one day be a police officer and make the world a better place. Foolish, perhaps, but noble.

Sadly, it was not to be. Barely an hour had passed before this shining beacon of justice challenged local vulpine scoundrel Gideon Grey to protect her friends, already trying to live up to her dream.

"Geez, who wrote this sensationalist bunk, Detective Oates?"

"Actually, it looks like a guy named Stinkman."

"Fitting. Now keep going."

According to witnesses, the altercation started over stolen fair tickets and escalated when Judy attempted to swipe them back. It was only natural that a cunning fox would see through such a trick, and in retaliation, savagely attacked her. Even now, she is being treated at the local clinic, in stable condition. While she is expected to make a full recovery, a set of gashes

on her cheek from Grey's claws will most likely scar.

"Guess now we know why she's been so aggro against you from the beginning. Can't be easy to face another fox under these circumstances."

Nick just nodded slowly and continued reading. He couldn't stop himself now if he tried.

And those aren't the only scars that will remain. The victim's parents, Bonnie and Stu Hopps, shared with us their own opinions on the incident. "We tried to warn her about how dangerous it was for a rabbit to be a police officer," said Stu, "but Judy has always been a fighter, too much for her own good sometimes. It's only now we see how dangerous that kind of attitude really is."

"We could have lost our daughter today," added Bonnie, an air of unshakeable tension around them both. "And we can't let something like this happen again. As much as we know it will hurt her now, we have no choice but to forbid her from ever being a cop, or even leaving Bunnyburrow. She'll understand one day. It's for her own good."

With such devastating news waiting for her, only time will tell if Judy Hopps can ever truly recover.

"That's it," Nick finished. "According to everything else I've read, she started training to become a prosecutor barely into adolescence. That must've been the closest she could get to actually being out on the streets."

"What about that other fox, Gideon?"

His claws clicked across the screen with another quick search. He could almost laugh at the result. "In jail for an unrelated assault charge. And guess who was in charge of that case?"

Even Finnick didn't have anything to snark about. "How's about that. To think, she ended up a prosecutor because she wanted to defend the innocent. Fate is funny that way."

"Sure is. Between this and the Junior Ranger Scouts-"

"Enough about the freaking scouts already! That's over and done with now!"

Nick looked down at him, uncharacteristically serious. "Think about it. What if no one had come to my defense back then, and those scouts were actually able to...muzzle me?" He shuddered, thankful he only had to imagine that. "Maybe instead of wanting to do the same for others, I would be just as bitter and jaded as her. I bet she sees that connection too. Sees in me what she wishes she could do herself. No wonder I piss her off so much." He put the phone away, unable to look at it anymore. (Now I know the enemy AND myself. I guess that's a victory?)

"Not to spoil your philosophy hour, but we do need to figure out what we're going to do about Flash."

"Oh, I'll tell you what we're gonna do," Nick smirked, returning to his usual self in no time as he ruffled Finnick's head, and quickly withdrew before he no longer had a finger to point with. "We're going to kick his butt, legal style, then celebrate with some Bug Burgas!"

"So you don't actually have a plan?" Despite everything, he laughed. "Some things never change. Alright, Nick, let's do this thing."

"Hi-four?"

"Don't push it."

(This is it. The trial is about to end, one way or another. You want to know what it's like on this side of the courtroom, Carrots? You're about to find out.)

12: 38 PM

Zootopian Central Courthouse - Courtroom No. 2

"Court is back in session!" Clawhauser announced, much more exuberantly this time. "Even better, so is my appetite! To make up for lost ground, feast your eyes on my Double Jeopardy, Double Buttercream Surprise!" He proudly showed off the two donuts that now occupied his gavel before immediately digging into them.

(Happy Clawhauser is good for us, right?) He shared a shrug with Finnick, both agreeing it was better not to acknowledge it. "Then...may I ask the results of the pool analysis?"

"What do you think?" Judy snapped, a bit more harshly than needed. If his analysis of her was correct, this latest turnabout wasn't making her happy. "It is exactly as you surmised: the waters of the Pleasure Pool were contaminated with Mystic Mojo, enough that it certainly could have been fatal after a long bath."

(So the pool was filled with blood, mud, and crud. Hate to be whoever has to clean that up.)

Clawhauser nodded, his mouth full. "I shee! Sho ta sedgehamma atta weally wath falth?"

The strain was becoming more and more evident. "Yes, Your Honor. While it was assumed that the blow came before the victim's death, the events were close enough together that it is possible it could have been the other way around in light of this new information."

Autopsy Report updated in the Court Record

He nodded again and swallowed, oblivious to her annoyance. "And what about the new witness, Mr. Weston? Were you able to subpoena him?"

At that, Judy's frown turned upside-down, an instant red flag for the defense. "Indeed I have. In fact, it was easier than expected. Mr. Weston has been a member of the gallery this whole time."

(Meaning he's seen the events of the entire trial, which already makes him more dangerous than Bellwether...)

"That sure makes things easy!" Clawhauser grinned. "Then you may call him to the stand, Prosecutor Hopps."

"I already have. About five minutes ago."

"Huh? Then where…?" He triailed off, comprehension dawning on him, and the rest of the courtroom. A familiar grey shape emerged, very slowly, from the gallery, walking towards the witness stand. It would have felt like an eternity regardless, especially with Judy's obvious pleasure at his discomfort.

Finally, the sloth made it to the stand and took a minute, literally, to wave at the defense. "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick."

"Hi, Flash." (Win or lose, trips to the DMV are going to be awkward.)

"Witness, please state your name and occupation," Judy said. "And take your time, there's no rush."

He smiled in appreciation, taking those words very much to heart. "My...name is...Flash...Weston...and I...work at...the DMV."

"As well as Mystic Spring?" asked Nick, trying to at least keep the court on the right track. "I have to say, for as much as I've seen you, I had no idea you were a naturalist."

"Why...do you think...they call me...Flash?"

(Scratch that, it's already awkward.) "A-Anyway, you teach aerobics there, right?"

"...No."

"No?" (Was that a hesitant pause or just a normal one?)

"The witness lost his job the day of the murder," Judy explained. "I have the supporting documentation right here." She proceeded to pass around yet another piece of evidence she had stored away, though Nick was a bit more hopeful about this one.

It was a simple notice of termination addressed to Flash, marked with Nangi's signature and a large, hoof-shaped stamp with red ink. It didn't list much in the way of specifics, only that the sloth had been fired for "disturbing and unnatural teaching methods." (Do I even want to know what that means?)

Notice of Termination added to the Court Record.

Clawhauser pulled out a full box of donuts and placed it on the bench, followed by two more, knowing they would need to last him a while. "And you believe this to be a motive for murder?"

"No, Your Honor, but I'm sure Mr. Wilde does."

"Of course I do!" Nick said shamelessly. "Not only that, it tells me exactly how Flash could have gotten into the crime scene in the first place. Because if he was fired that day, he still might have had his keys on him!"

Flash didn't even twitch. "So what...if I...did?"

"...Huh?" (He's just flat-out admitting it?)

"Indeed...I had to...return...my keys...that night," he said. "But that...is all...I did."

"You think we're just gonna buy that?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Judy stated firmly. "Even after I considered the possibility of him being a suspect."

"You were just as gung-ho as I was about getting him up here," he pointed out. "More actually. So why are you suddenly dismissing that possibility now?"

"Allow me to demonstrate. Mr. Weston, do you have anything to say about the allegations that you killed Ms. Nangi?"

"...I...did...not…"

"Do you expect me to back down?" Nick asked. "Because I don't care what-"

"...kill her…"

"Because I don't care what-"

"...that night."

"Because I don't care what species he is, he's a suspect all the same to me!" (Okay, so maybe I care a LITTLE bit.)

"I expected nothing less," she said, shaking her head. "But if that won't sway you, then perhaps this will." She looked towards the witness, who was still processing her first sentence. "If you could, please explain for the court what you told me outside."

His expression shifted slowly from sadness, to understanding, to smiling. "You see...I was...a witness...to the…"

There was complete silence as everyone leaned in just a bit closer.

"...murder."

"WHAT?!" (How much time did she HAVE with him?) "And you're just coming forward with this now?!"

"If you were a sloth, perhaps you would understand," Judy said shortly, "just how stressful it would be to face a police interrogation when it takes such an effort just to speak. They have a hard enough life without being accused of murder, you know."

"I told you, I'm not backing down!" he insisted. "So let's hear a testimony already! Er...when you're up for it, Flash."

"No...problem…"

Witness Testimony - The Night...of the...Crime

I came...to the club...at about…

...10:00...to drop off...my keys.

But I saw...that no one...was there.

So I...looked around...and opened...the door…

...to the lounge.

Inside...I saw Yax...and Nangi.

He was...holding...the bloody...sledgehammer.

I was afraid...so I…quickly…

….

...left.

Clawhauser was snoozing peacefully, only to be awoken by a quick jab from Bogo. "Huh? O-Oh, is the testimony over? That was very, uh, informative, witness."

Finnick yawned a bit himself. "For someone who takes so long to make a point, he sure can talk."

"This could take a while, and not just because he's a sloth. I'm not sure I have a way to refute that."

"In the spirit of fairness, I will give you all the time you need," Judy told him. "Because no matter how you look at it, a sloth could not capably murder someone. Let's see you try to twist that logic around, Wilde."

(I don't even get a 'Mr.' anymore? This bunny seriously has it out for me.)

Flash let out a series of low, single laughs. "Yes...let's see...if you can…"

"I don't need to hear it again! Your Honor, I will begin my cross-examination."

"Okaaaay," he said wearily, seconds from falling asleep again.

"...twist this…"

"I'm starting, I'm starting!"

Cross-Examination - The Night...of the...Crime

I came...to the club...at about…

...10:00...to drop off...my keys.

Hold it!

"Carrots, can you confirm if the witness's keys were actually found on scene?"

"I hate to burst your bubble…"

(Liar.)

"...but we did indeed find them inside the front desk."

"Alright, then maybe Flash can tell us how the front door was still locked when he left."

"That's because...you can...lock the door...behind you."

If Nick thought he was on a roll, it came to a screeching halt instantly. "That...that's seriously it?" (If only more mammals had doors like that, there'd be a lot less locked room mysteries to solve.)

"Well?" Judy asked. "I believe you were about to make a point of some kind?"

"Uh...I think that's worth adding to the testimony."

Finnick paled. "You want to make this longer?"

"Relax, I know what I'm doing. Mostly."

The door...could be locked...without them.

But I saw...that no one...was there.

Hold it!

"According to Yax's testimony, he should have still been on guard duty at that point."

"But this was also around the point when he was high on Mystic Mojo," Judy replied. "One of the drug's side-effects is a distorted sense of time. So it's also possible that he had left the room before the witness showed up."

"Even so, I can't help but notice that the witness's physical description matches up well with the assailant Yax spoke of. What do you have to say to that, Mr. Hairy Long-Claws?"

"...No comment."

(Did he really need that long of a pause just to blow me off?)

"The witness won't respond to that because he doesn't need to," said Judy. "Which is more credible: an eye-witness account or the defendant's flights of fancy?"

"You seriously gotta stop using that as evidence," Finnick advised.

"But it's the best evidence we have."

"Which sums up our law firm in a nutshell."

"Nevertheless, Flash, please clarify that statement for us."

Yax...must have...already...been gone.

Hold it!

"If that's the case, then the incense that contained the Mystic Mojo should have also been there."

"Actually...it wasn't."

"Then you must have stolen it to cover your tracks. That's the only way it could have disappeared."

"So little imagination for someone with such a penchant for nonsense," Judy mocked. "Who knows what the defendant could have done with the incense in his state? He could have even eaten it."

(Honestly...I wouldn't be surprised to see him eat glass.)

"Even if the witness did take the incense, it doesn't prove he put it there in the first place."

Finnick smirked. "Really thought you had something there, huh?"

"...No."

So I...looked around...and opened...the door.

Hold it!

Nick lowered his finger, realizing he had jumped the gun. "Heh, sorry. Thought I timed that better."

"Perhaps you'd like to rewind and try that again," Judy said sardonically

(I think I'd rather a fast-forward.)

...to the lounge.

Hold it!

"Which would put you where that door was located on the diagram?"

"That is...absolutely...correct...Nick."

(Just say yes!) "But nobody saw you?"

"No...it was...only open...a crack."

"Hmm, think you can add that to the testimony?"

"Nick, are you trying to break some kind of record here?" Finnick asked impatiently.

"All part of the plan, Finn."

"Well, just so you know, His Honor has fallen asleep again."

Clawhauser snored loudly.

"That won't be a problem once-"

"So has the bailiff. And the gallery."

Many more snores filled the air.

"I work better with a smaller crowd anyway."

But Prosecutor Hopps remained alert as ever. "It'll be even smaller when you lose your badge."

...to the lounge...I was...standing...right at...the entrance.

Inside...I saw Yax...and Nangi.

He was...holding...the bloody...sledgehammer.

Hold it!

"Can you describe that in more detail?" He tried to ignore Finnick's groans of despair.

"He seemed...dazed...and unaware...of his...surroundings."

"And yet he was able to hide the weapon in a way that wouldn't implicate him?"

"...Yes."

"Did you see him hide it?"

"...No."

"Then you're just basing this on what we already know?"

The delay made it hard to tell, but somewhere along the line, Flash has started to frown. "What...is with...all these...questions?"

"Just trying to get a clear picture," he said innocently. "I mean, you say you witnessed the murder, but isn't this all just hearsay? Not really what I'd call decisive…"

Judy was ready to fire back, but to her surprise, Flash beat her to the punch. "I saw...the defendant...I saw...the hammer...I saw...the hoofprints...do I need...to say...more?"

"Actually, yes. Please add that bit to your testimony."

"...Fine."

I saw...the defendant...I saw...the hammer...I saw...the hoofprints...

Objection!

It was hard not to sigh in relief. "Flash, Flash, Hundred-Yard Testimony, I've finally got you."

"How...do you...figure?"

"As you clearly stated before, you were watching this from the entrance to the lounge, right where the door is located on the diagram." He tapped his forehead. "But therein lies the problem. Because from that spot, the renovations area would've been concealed by the rock wall!"

Flash did not react. Yet.

"Wait, so you dragging this out like that actually had a point?" Finnick asked skeptically.

"Of course. Even the most stubborn witnesses let their guard down eventually. It was just a matter of pressing him for info until he finally slipped up." (Granted, that only became the plan halfway through…)

The sloth remained expressionless.

"You mean to say you got a sloth to lose his patience? That's...actually kinda impressive."

Objection!

"The witness got the events of the trial mixed up with his own memory," Judy explained. "Your incessant badgering doesn't prove a thing."

"All I did was press for info, Carrots. Nothing wrong with that." The pure smarm that radiated from his voice was an added bonus. "But if that's not good enough for you, I can prove the witness was the one who actually wielded the hammer."

Flash's face shifted into a frown.

"What?! Now you have to be bluffing!"

"I didn't make the connection at first, but there's something that ties Flash to that very spot. And you yourself showed it to us."

Take that!

"The...letter of termination?" she asked curiously. "Even if that serves as a motive, it's no evidence."

"I beg to differ. It's not the words I'm focused on, but the stamp."

"The...the stamp?" It didn't take her long to see it herself. "That big, hoof shape...You mean to say that's what was used to create the hoofprints in the concrete?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. And from that position, it would be all too easy for him to grab the sledgehammer and complete his frame job."

Flash's eyes widened and his jaw dropped open.

Clawhauser, who had finally been woken by all the shouting along with the rest of the court, needed a moment to catch up. "Oh, I get it now! That totally makes sense!"

Judy slammed her fist hard onto the bench. "No it doesn't!"

"Just look at him!" Nick pointed to the frozen shock on Flash's face. "Does that look innocent to you?"

They all watched as Flash gradually lost that expression, and in half a minute was back to normal. "What...are you ...talking...about?"

(I'm guessing he never plays poker.)

Clawhauser nodded right along with all of this. "So those hoofprints really were just fake after all?"

"Of course, Your Honor. With that fabrication, Flash threw off the entire investigation to disguise the real murder method. Maybe he thought the Mystic Mojo would be more easily pinned to him. Slow-acting murder, slow-acting mammal, it's only natural."

Hold…...it!

Sometime during Nick's latest monologue, Flash had taken in a breath to shout, and now he finally released it, instantly silencing the courtroom.

(Eesh. Gotta remember he's slow, not silent.)

Despite the increasing suspicion around him, Flash remained calm as he raised a paw into the air. "Prosecutor...I want...my...special request."

"Already?" she asked, hesitantly. "Alright...I will respect your wishes. Bailiff, fetch the pot."

Bogo sighed and headed out of the room. "I'm a buffalo, not a gopher," he muttered.

Nick was immediately suspicious. "Special request? What is he talking about?"

"When I was prepping the witness in the lobby, he wanted me to prepare for him a certain beverage to help him in case he had difficulty getting his points across."

"We don't allow alcohol in the hall of justice," Clawhauser cautioned.

"Nothing like that, Your Honor. Just a specially-made coffee from Snarlbucks."

Nick laughed. "Coffee? I'm sure he appreciates your amazing empathy, but there isn't enough caffeine on the planet to speed this up."

"Regardless, he has requested a pot of the experimental new 'Super Lightning Blitz 2000'. According to the witness himself, it really does the job."

"Uh huh."

Bogo returned shortly thereafter, wheeling out a cart with a large pot of coffee resting on it. He poured a cup and handed it to Flash, straining his patience as he waited for him to grab it.

"Thank...you…" the sloth said, raising the cup up to his lips and starting to drink. Before Nick could even wonder how long this was going to take, the slow gulps of Flash's throat began to get faster and faster, until he was practically chugging the beverage down. With a contented sigh, he slammed the cup back onto the cart. The whole court watched as he took a few, deep breaths, then raised his head to the sky and, "GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

With that shout, Flash's fur was suddenly standing on end and turned a vibrant red. He reached up and spiked the fur on top of his head into a distinct lightning bolt shape, then pulled out a headband and snapped it on underneath. When he was done, he shot a wide smile and thumbs-up at the stunned crowd. "Alright, everyone! Let's get those bodies moving!"

As you can probably tell, this final witness is going to be a handful. What exactly made me decide to use Flash for the role of the killer? Nothing really, except I tried to think of the most bizarre Zootopia character possible and that was that. If you don't get the joke behind his last name of "Weston", you just don't know your comics well enough. (I have since become aware that his official last name is "Slothmore", but that wasn't as fun and would've spoiled the reveal.)

That aside, you're probably more interested in the vaguely-revealed backstories of this Nick and Judy. I'm afraid that's about all you're getting, but it does touch on something I find fascinating about this entire compilation. More on that next time.

Also, you may have noticed a cameo from a certain pun-gent reporter. Though if you ask me, the reality where he works at ZNN seems like the better deal.

Court Record:

Attorney's Badge

The symbol of my profession, icon of my status, yadda yadda. It's not exactly pretty, but it does let me keep my job.

Nangi's Autopsy Report

Death caused by Mystic Mojo poisoning, prior to being struck with a sledgehammer post-mortem. Estimated time of death is between 10 and 12 PM on July 12th.

Crime Scene Photo

Shows the victim slumped over in the Pleasure Pool, small and large rocks surrounding her on each side. The victim's blood can be seen mixed into the water along with a large amount of mud. Hardened concrete residue can be seen behind the victim. Yax is lying nearby, unconscious.

Oasis Diagram

A simple diagram showing the lobby and the main lounge, with the doors connecting them. The Pleasure Pool is shown in the middle of the lounge. The storeroom is at the back and Nangi's office in the upper-left corner. The renovations area is directly behind the pool, obscured from view. Other attractions like the volleyball court and mud pit are also labeled.

Sledgehammer

Used to render the victim unconscious. Blood splatter and location of the wound shows that it was swung from overhead. Was found submerged in the Pleasure Pool after being used by Bellwether to bash open the storeroom. Before which, it was partially submerged already.

Renovations Photo

Shows the area the workers were reconstructing after the pipe burst, the pipe itself with a giant hole left in it. A pool of wet concrete shows clear hoofprints. Water is still flowing through.

Storeroom Key

A key used by Dawn Bellwether to open the storeroom. Went missing the day of the murder and is believed to have been stolen.

Mystic Mojo

A powerful hallucinogen illegally peddled out of the Mystic Spring Oasis. Potential side-effects include memory loss, distortion of time, and asphyxiation through long-term exposure to the physical powder.

Yax's Testimony

As Yax was dragged from the lobby to the lounge, he identified the mammal who dragged him as hairy, wet, and with long claws. He also spotted that the water around Nangi was a mix of red, brown, and purple.

Notice of Termination

A notice from Nangi informing Flash that he was fired for "disturbing and unnatural teaching methods". Marked with a hoof-shaped stamp.

Profiles:

Nick Wilde

Age: 32

Me, myself, and I. I've been a defense attorney for a long time now, but I'm still not exactly what you'd call a professional. Good thing I'm not asking you.

Finnick

Age: 35

The ray of sunshine who serves as my co-counsel. He may not be very confident in the job, but he knows how to keep me going in his own special way.

Yaxley Matton

Age: 28

A long-time member of the Mystic Spring Oasis, and a firm believer in all things natural. He's a nice guy, but could do a better job keeping his mouth shut. Was found konked out at the crime scene, which is how he got himself arrested.

Judy Hopps

Age: 24

The prosecutor on this case. Apparently a big deal out in the sticks, and not exactly the sweet, cuddly bunny I would expect. Seems to have some weird knack for being able to empathize with any species, but clearly not me.

Bailey Oates

Age: 46

A veteran detective on the ZPD, but that doesn't mean he's wise with experience. I'd say his old age is getting to him, but it sounds like he's always been kind of a kook.

Dawn Bellwether

Age: 36

A neurotic sheep who interns at Mystic Spring in the storeroom. Doesn't have much of a commitment to the lifestyle. May also be slightly insane. And a drug dealer.

Flash Weston

Age: 30

A sloth who works at the DMV, and once at Mystic Spring apparently. He was an aerobics instructor, which didn't work out, but not for the reasons you'd think.