Authors Note: I have been inspired to write a series of one-shots after reading several of Bellamort500 's stories. I in no way own Harry Potter and company and all rights go to their rightful owners.

Feel Free to give me a prompt for a one-shot or have them say something! I'm open to idea's!

Prompt from Bellamort500 and myself supplying it to her! . -

is allowed to leave a meeting early because they want to help Hermione knit baby clothes for Voldemort and Umbridge.

My innocence has been lost forever, I will never be able to get rid of the image of Umbridge and Voldemort,

The horror, the horror.

Hermione decided that after hearing that Voldemort was watching Umbridge she was she going to start knitting baby clothes for the soon to be couple. They were both evil so she thought they might like a gift to start the family. Knitting in pink, purple, blue and green yarn she made at least three of every color and wondered if she should start making baby blankets. She willingly missed an Order meeting since she knew Fred would fill her in later on.

"Harry? I'm bored. I think I'm going to help Hermione knit baby clothes for Voldemort and Umbridge's child." Daphne said as she got up silence falling across the table.

"Snake-face and UmBitch?" Ron said turning green.

"We heard that he was looking at her all lusty so Hermione is making baby clothes so they are prepared when the baby comes along." Ginny said this time looking up from her parchment, her hair held back by several quills.

"I need Hermione's opinion on something actually. I'll walk with you Daphne." Ginny said as the two girls left the room leaving a very pregnant silence.

"I don't think Umbridge is willing to accept he's back though so that might mean so pretty boring sex…..I mean looking at a wall the whole time?" Harry said as Ron went even more green this time followed by several adults.

"Maybe he wears a mask. To make him look like Fudge?" Fred suggested.

"Yeah she looked pretty dreamily at his photo if you know what I mean." George said.

"Yeah but Voldemort's looking at her for what reason? It can't be her looks…on second thought it just might be…." Harry mused Fred and George nodding in agreement.

"They wouldn't live together though. She'll have the place crawling with pictures of kittens and pink, and he like the dark and snakes….might not work out….I pity the poor kid actually. A Mum and Dad like that." George said the whole table shuddering.

"Well I'll join Hermione in her knitting. I don't know how but I can watch and distract her." Fred said getting to his feet and starting to leave the room.

"No. No more of this. Sit down Fredrick and we can continue."

"Harry back me up on this…This is boring. Talking about what we are going to do but not doing it. It's the same shit!" Fred snapped at the end.

"Agreed. I'm going to join my wife before someone makes her cry or worse makes her mad. Night all." Harry said as he and Fred left the room. George sat for a moment before running out the door.

"FREEDOM!"

"I really didn't need the mental image of Umbridge and Voldemort going at it…It's suck now. Snape you got brain bleach?" Sirius asked as the table looked distinctly green.

"Ten minute break?" Dumbledore suggested and many nodded, needing to get their mind off the images that were put there.