Chapter 3 - Mistakes

Written by Ande883

Edited by Cimar

Several Weeks Later

It was her weekly routine at this point. Judy would wake up to her alarm much earlier than usual and go on her morning jog right to Nick's every Friday. They would sit and go through their session for about an hour. Then, depending on when Nick's next session with another patient was, they would keep talking about anything that came to mind.

Weeks ago, Judy would have scoffed at the idea that she was friends with a fox. She would have punched said messenger in the face had they told her that the fox would also be her therapist. She couldn't believe how incredible she felt now that she was opening up to someone, and also getting professional advice on how to deal with things that make her angry or upset.

It shouldn't have been so incredible, but Nick had gone above and beyond her expectations, even to discount their sessions since she stopped by so often. She was practically paying nothing. She wondered why she was getting such special treatment, but maybe she didn't realize that Nick was just that great of a mammal. He must have truly cared about her feelings to make her feel like life was something to be cherished, rather than something that we all just have to deal with.

Her first session with Nick was an eye-opener. She'd gone through one of the worst moments of her childhood; the day that her childhood bully took things too far and actually got physical. She did her best to tell him how she felt about the whole experience since it happened so long ago, and he was able to best tell her how to make amends with someone that she once could have said she actually hated.

She'd called her parents for the first time in a while and asked about where he was and how she could get in contact with him. They acted a bit surprised, but nonetheless gave her his phone number and she called him. He was even more surprised to hear from her, and they had a long chat about everything that had happened since the last saw each other. In the end, they even made a plan to get together and have a chat if she ever made it back home.

The simple act of getting to tell her childhood bully that there were no hard feelings was incredible, and the first of many wonders that Nick helped her with.

Judy saw life completely differently now. She appreciated the smaller things in life and did her best to try and see things through the eyes of another when someone made her angry. As she grew to hate her job, she got lazy and did things the way she wanted to do them instead of how she was trained. Now, she started to actually care more about her job and doing things correctly. She cared more about her customers.

She simply cared more about everything.

Life was no longer this nightmare that never seemed to end. She found joy in it all over the place. And to think that it started with her friend dragging her to a wedding she didn't want to go to.

After the first few sessions, she started to realize that Nick was more than just her therapist. He was her friend, and it made her wonder why she never did anything like this with Kristie. That bubbly bunny should have been the best person to talk to when something was bothering her, and yet Judy still refused to open up. Sure, she'd told Kristie about some of the things from her past, but never how they made her feel. Kristie was happy all of the time, but Judy didn't think Kristie could relate to how she was feeling.

There were two types of mammals that Judy would have wanted to open up to: Those who understood the mind and how it worked, and those who understood Judy's feelings. Kristie was neither of them. Nick was both.

Judy was currently on her typical jog to Nick's. It was a pretty terrible day out, cold and sprinkling a little bit. She didn't let that stop her from running, though. Nick said that public transportation was the one thing that she was allowed to hate.

As she approached the weathered building that Nick was currently in, she couldn't help but smile. She almost considered it a second home because she spent so much time here. Despite all that time, she only knew one room like the back of her paw, and that was the one up the stairs and to the right. It was the only room that they ever talked in apart from the occasional chat in the lower level.

Judy came to the few concrete steps before Nick's building and carefully walked up them, knowing that they were slippery from the rain. As she was about to open the door, it swung open, revealing Nick and his trademark grin and piercing green eyes, half lidded as they always were. He wore something different this time around. It was a gaudy yellow Pawaiian shirt instead of the green. His terrible blue and purple striped tie still hung loosely around his neck. The sight made Judy cringe.

"Do you wear anything else, Slick?" she said, covering her eyes and chuckling. The nickname for him came only a couple of sessions after her first one. Seeing that he really liked to get on her nerves and call her "Carrots", she decided to get back at him and get a name for him as well. He didn't seem to mind it, like how she absolutely hated hers at first, though. But she didn't ever admit this to him, but she actually liked her nickname now.

"Hey, they fit, and you know nothing about style. Would you rather me walk around naked? I know that your first trip to a Naturalist Club didn't go so well," he shot back.

"Only time! I am never letting Kristie take me back there ever again!" Judy shuddered as she recalled the incident. It was one of Kristie's worst attempts at making Judy feel better long ago. Apparently the brown doe was a long-time patron of the establishment, to which Judy almost wasn't surprised, and had decided that to make Judy feel better, she needed a little bit of nudity.

Needless to say, it didn't work.

"Yeah, right. Come on in, Carrots. There are things to be spoken about!" Nick moved to the side to allow Judy in. He even held a small towel for her, which she took graciously and dried her fur that went uncovered by her clothes, namely her head and arms which were rather damp for the little bit that it was raining.

Nick and Judy walked up the stairs and entered the door on the right and Judy instantly took to making the couch her home for the next hour. Nick took his usual seat and pulled out a clipboard, one which he could take notes on if he felt that it was necessary.

"So, how's your week been? Anything you'd like to talk about in particular?" It was the question that she'd heard plenty of times before. It was how they opened every session up; a reflection of everything that Judy had dealt with over the last seven days that might indicate her progress out of her depression.

Other weeks it took her no time at all to think of something, but recently she'd started to hesitate and require a minute or two of thinking before something really caught her attention.

"Well, on Tuesday my very annoying neighbors were being extra annoying…"

"As per usual," Nick added in with a wink. "Go on."

"...and as you know, I'm usually not the kindest to them. I feel like they act this annoying because they know it bothers me."

"The worst kind of neighbor, I can assure you. So what did you do this time?"

"Well, instead of banging on my wall and shouting, I knocked on their door and kindly asked them to be a little more courteous to the other tenants. They looked at me for a second before they closed the door. I didn't hear a peep out of them for the rest of the night. I still haven't!" Judy exclaimed, maybe getting a little too excited about the reaction of her neighbors.

"Very good. I'm glad you didn't go for a violent reaction this time. I think you're right in saying that they act that way to get a reaction out of you, and I feel that you may have just thrown them off that much by acting so "out of character" to them. So, is there anything else that you'd like to talk about right now?"

"No, not really. Everything has been great," she replied simply, but Nick saw that she was lying. She adjusted her position on the couch as if she was nervous about something. She was hiding something from him.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked, gaining her attention unlike before. She seemed more alert and cautious about what she said now. "Because I have been wondering something for a few weeks. Have you been hiding something from me?"

"W-What? Why w-would I d-do that to you? I t-tell you everything!" Judy said, but she knew that he was on to her. He had her stuck in a corner, unable to make an escape.

"Judy, please, what's on your mind that you haven't told me? I'm here to help, remember?" As he tried to coerce her gently, his emerald gaze penetrated the barrier she had quickly set up between them. She melted like putty in his paws.

She was opening up before she knew it.

"It was about a year before I started at the diner… I was the first rabbit to get into the Zootopia Police Academy…" Judy said, avoiding making eye contact with the fox across from her. Nick sat quietly, hardly believing what he was hearing, though after finding out who Judy really was and getting to know the happy, more normal version of her, he could understand that she was a go-getter and didn't fall into the normal bunny stereotype.

"You made it into the academy? That's pretty impressive, especially for a bunny. What got you there?"

"Well, my childhood bully, Gideon… he usually picked on me because when I was little I wanted to be a police officer. I always wanted to make the world a better place, and so that became my dream. I wanted to be the first rabbit police officer. No one really supported me, but I still worked as hard as I could and got into the ZPA."

"I can see now that it didn't work the way you wanted it to. Why?" he replied quietly.

Judy hesitated for a while. She had never told anyone about this except for her closest friends, which consisted of Kristie and no one else. Right now, Nick was quickly getting to that point. She decided that he could hear it.

"Well, I wasn't exactly treated as a real cadet. The others liked to pick on me a lot; it was like I was nine all over again. They would pull stupid pranks on me all the time, and they were usually harmless."

"Usually?"

"It wasn't until things went wrong. One of the many methods of training was an obstacle course, and the obstacles were based upon the districts of the city. The Rainforest District was some ropes hanging above mud pits, and we had to climb across. The other cadets decided it would be funny to try and make me fall while I was going. They would move the ropes I was on to the point that I couldn't stay on, and I fell off. The only issue was that I didn't fall into the mud. They had shaken the ropes so much I was flung to the side, falling onto the hard ground. I broke my leg and sprained one of my wrists. I couldn't complete the Academy and was told to come back next year, but I never had the guts to actually try it again. I was still the bunny that flunked the Academy, and I would always be that."

"If you want to know the truth, I know you'd be able to do it. You'd make a fantastic cop," Nick said, but it didn't really help Judy feel any better.

"I got that from a few mammals, but it wasn't enough. My parents weren't sad that it happened, but told me that they were right about how bunnies couldn't be cops. I told them time and time again that I could have done it, but they never listened, so I packed my bags and left Bunnyburrow. Up until recently, that was the last time I'd spoken to my family; nearly six years ago. I just couldn't stand to be around mammals that so blindly fell into every single stereotype about bunnies, especially since they tried to get me to forget my dream of being a police officer. I moved to Zootopia and started working at the diner, and the rest is history… I've been here ever since."

Nick was dumbfounded. He knew Judy to be an outstanding person before, but to hear what she'd gone through… it was unlike anything he'd heard before. Nick had listened to the stories of mammals who'd killed, had best friends die in their arms, all of the most horrific and horrible things happen to them, but this was possibly the most heartbreaking thing he'd ever heard. Her dream was taken away from her, all because of some stupid antics from her classmates at the Academy and the lack of support from her family.

"Judy," Nick said as he heard her sniff from the couch. He looked at her. She was curled into a ball in the corner of the couch cushion, unable to face Nick after telling him that. He looked at her with pity, wishing that there was something he could do. It wasn't professional for him to provide physical comfort to his patients, but then again, he didn't like professionalism. Nick stood up from his chair and plopped down on the couch right next to Judy. Her ears moved up, revealing her tear-soaked face and entrancing violet eyes, red from her crying. Without even thinking, Nick pulled her close to him and brought her into the most heartfelt hug he'd ever given anyone. She kept her head against his chest, letting her tears stain his shirt.

She continued to cry as he patted her gently on the back, hoping that she would calm down enough to talk to him. It almost made him cry seeing her this way, but he managed to maintain his composure.

"Judy, I'm glad you told me. I'm guessing that this is something that not many mammals know about apart from your family?"

She shook her head from within his grasp. Pulling her head from his chest, she looked caringly at him. "I've only ever told Kristie this. It's obviously not something I'm proud of."

"And why not?" he said, causing Judy to back away from him slightly. "Because you failed? I don't see that when I look at you. I see a bunny who didn't care what other mammals thought about you. You endured bullying through most of your childhood because you wanted to make something of yourself. You were the first bunny to ever get into the police academy! That's incredible! Failures are supposed to help us learn, even when they weren't entirely our fault. And especially in this case where you can't blame yourself for what the other cadets did to you."

"You're not just my therapist, are you?" Judy said, looking into his eyes with a bright smile. He stared back, his lips curling into a similar smile as he brought her closer to him again.

"No. I'm your friend, and as your friend, I'm telling you to quit holding that over your head. I know you have what it takes to get back there and show everyone that you're not just some country bunny. You're Judy," he said, poking his finger delicately into her shoulder. "You can do amazing things."

Nick could feel the heat rising from his shirt. He had to resist fanning it out to try and make himself more comfortable, but he just had to try and contain himself. Never before had anyone made him feel so nervous. Obviously, no one had ever seen him nervous before because he was a master at keeping his emotions hidden, but she was getting dangerously close to breaking him. He watched her every movement; the way she stared into his eyes, the way she sat, the way he noticed her tail flick at him every so often. He wondered if she knew that she was doing it.

"Judy…" he began, instantly feeling his breath catch, making it hard for him to speak clearly. He coughed a few times to clear his throat before he continued. "Has anyone ever told you how amazing you are?"

Her reaction was priceless. She looked at him with wide eyes for a few seconds before a very noticeable blush appeared on her cheeks and she rubbed her splayed back ears, bringing her gaze to the floor.

"Not like that, no," she replied with a giggle.

"Well, you are, and don't let yourself forget it. You know, I think you're my favorite patient. It doesn't feel like work when you're here. It feels like we're just talking as friends. I like that. I like you."

"I mean, I like you, too, Nick. It doesn't feel like I'm talking to a therapist during these sessions. I feel like I'm talking to a friend. You are my friend."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Judy, but there's something about you that makes me want more than that. You're a great friend, but I feel like you have a lot more to offer me than just friendship. I can tell that you feel the same way about me." Nick watched as her expression remained mostly the same, but he saw her nose twitch a few times. She was confused by what he said.

"Judy, let me just show you what I mean." Nick began leaning forward, his muzzle getting closer and closer to hers. As he approached, he could see her do the same, getting as close as possible without their lips touching. She brought her paws onto his shoulder and her eyes had closed, but right before Nick made his final move towards her, they shot open and she gave him a full force slap to the face, causing Nick to yelp in pain and back away quickly.

His paw went right to the area of contact, which burned with intense pain. This was not a playful slap. It was filled with hate and anger. When his eyes looked back at her, she looked like she wanted to kill him, her eyes narrowed and with tears running down them and her shoulders moving up and down from her heavy breathing.

"You jerk! Why would you do something like that?" she screamed at him. Nick still rubbed at his pulsating cheek, the pain from her slap still resonating, but slowly dissipating.

"Can I just explain myself—"

"No, you don't get a chance to explain yourself! I opened up to you! I trusted you, Nick, and you used me, for… for this… sick game? Was that all you wanted to do? Get with me in the end? Was I some sort of goal for you to reach, because I doubt that I was actually one of your "patients" as you like to call them. Tell me, are you actually a therapist? Or do you spend all day trying to hook up with the mammals that you pretend to help?"

"Carrots…"

"No! I don't want to hear it! You manipulated me, and now guess what? I hate that you used me! I hate you!"

Nick took a step back as Judy's anger seemed only to grow.

"You're a good for nothing user and I never want to see your face again!" Judy got off of the couch and ran out of the room, Nick chasing after her but stopping at the door. She was already down the stairs by that point and rounding the corner to get out of Nick's building. He slowly approached the summit of the stairwell and looked longingly down at where he barely caught his last glimpse of Judy's foot. Sighing, Nick turned around and opened the door straight ahead. It was the door that remained unopened during business hours, the one that was a mystery to all of his patients. It was nothing exciting, but more private and unnecessary to show them. For the last several years, it was the place where he rested his head at night.

Entering his "bedroom" if one could even call it that, Nick sat down on the mattress that lay on the floor, uncovered and stained from age. It wasn't much of a room, only containing that mattress and a closet filled with a couple of Pawaiian shirts. There was a small and very old dresser that sat opposite the mattress as well as an old chair where another much smaller fox currently sat, looking at his friend.

"Ya blew it, didn't ya?" the deep and gravelly voice chided, unhappy with Nick and the choices that he'd made. Nick rubbed his face, not wanting to look at his friend.

"Yeah, I did, Finnick. You were right all along. I shouldn't have done anything like that, especially not to her. I just wish she saw how much she needs someone, even if it's not me, but I doubt I'll be seeing her next week, or ever again." Finnick hopped off of the chair that he sat on and walked over to Nick. He stood in front of Nick for a few seconds before he slapped Nick as hard as he could across the face. Nick didn't retaliate; all he did was rub the sore spot from where Judy and now Finnick had slapped him.

"I didn't think that bunny got you good enough. Head on straight now?"

Even through all of the pain his face was in, Nick managed to curl his lips into a smile. "Yeah, I guess so." He turned to Finnick. "I was an idiot, wasn't I?"

"You're tellin' me. But she's not gone like you think. Give her some time and she might understand. She'll be back."

Nick looked out of the curtain covered window beside him, seeing the sky as dark as he'd ever seen it just beginning to spit out rain.

"I sure hope you're right."