As my alarm clock ushered in my morning, I fought every urge I had to stay in bed. You know what you need to do, Violet. It won't take me long to get ready. It's how to word the most eloquent apology known to man. If Celestino can appreciate anything, it's pretty words and effort. And coffee. I knew what his guilty pleasure was when he was in the US and looking for a cup of coffee. Celestino liked an iced Americano. No sugar. No sweetener. Cold, dark, bitter. The exact opposite of him in a liquid form.
I did a quick stop by a coffee cart outside the building and headed for the rink. The coach wasn't the only one that needed a caffeine boost. Granted, after whatever voodoo Victor used on my face last night, I slept like a rock, but not for very long. On the way to the rink, I downed my flat white in the back of my cab and watched all the other traffic go by. At this point, I just hope Celestino will forgive me.
When I got to the rink, I threw my bag down on a bench and got my light purple skates on. Coach wasn't even here yet. Unless he was hiding somewhere. The least I could do was stretch a little bit while I'm waiting. In his defense, I was here a little early. What can I say? I'm nothing if not punctual. I liked to think it was an admirable trait.
"Well?" a thick, Italian accent broke the still silence in the rink, "You got an apology for me?"
"And coffee," I cowered a little. Celestino could get scary when he was angry. He appeared unmoved by my peace offering, "I know. I screwed up yesterday. I was beyond pissed at myself and I took that out on you."
"And?" Celestino sipped on his drink.
"And you didn't deserve that," I went on, "I am sorry, Coach. And if you'll have me, I'd like to come back to the rink and skate for you."
Without even thinking about it, my coach threw his arms around me, hugging me tight, "There you are, Violet. It's good to see you again. You and I are ok."
"Good," I relaxed, "Because I don't like when you're mad at me."
"If you really want to redeem yourself," Celestino kissed the top of my head, "Show me that double toe loop that had you so tripped up."
I should've seen that one coming. No problem. I could do this. And I'm not going to bitch at Celestino if I don't. Not that it's not happening. I got this. Without any music, I took a couple laps around the rink to get my speed up. Remember what Victor said, Violet. Underrotate. Underrotate and you'll nail it. Deep breath, focus, and…Execute.
PERFECT!
First try, too! If I wasn't worried about busting my skate, I'd spike it into the ice and do a damn touchdown dance! I did it! Even better yet, I'm back, bitches! Victor might be onto something. Once I get that one trick, it'll be the only block I have for the rest of the season. I skated back to the railing to celebrate with my coach, "How was that for an apology?"
"That's my girl!" he praised, "Very nice, bambina. I'm so proud of you. How'd you figure out what you were doing wrong?"
"After I brought Yurio back to Victor's yesterday," I reached over the partition and grabbed my water bottle, "I came back here to work out the kinks. Victor said that if I underrotated on my jump, I'd land it perfectly every time."
"Maybe Victor should've been your coach this season instead," Celestino teased, "He got you to land your easy tricks when I couldn't."
"Oh, shut up," I rolled my eyes, "Sometimes, it takes a skater's eye to find another's flaw. Besides, I couldn't get rid of you. Out of every coach I've ever had, you're my favorite."
"I'm the only coach you've ever had," he jabbed.
"Hey," I admitted, "At one point, I could've had Yakov as my coach."
"Really?"
"Yeah," I leaned up against the rail, "While he was coaching Yurio, Yakov told me if I ever wanted to get back into the skating game, he would coach me. But even if I didn't have you, I don't think I could deal with Yakov as my coach."
"Why not?" Celestino gasped, "Do you realize how many new skaters would kill to be in that kind of position? To have Yakov Feltsman approach them like that? Usually, they'd be throwing themselves at his feet for something like that!"
"Well," I bit my lip, "Between the way he treated my son last year and my history of an eating disorder, I don't think Yakov and I would be a good fit. Like I said, I got you. I don't want any other coach."
"You flatter me, Violet," he awed, "And I'm sorry. I totally forgot about you and Yakov."
"I wouldn't exactly say I'm over it," I brushed him off, "But no need for your apology. Yakov and I had a moment toward finals and we're civil now."
"Well," Celestino brought us back, "Regardless, we have a lot of work to do before you get into your first competition. What do you want to skate to?"
"For now," I decided, "Stole the Show."
"Ok," he scrolled through my phone, "Wait a minute. Isn't this Yurio's routine?"
"It was our routine," I clarified, "I'm the one who choreographed it. And I'm in that kind of mood."
"Alright," Celestino allowed, "Just a quick warm up. We really do need to get to work on things for this season."
"Got it!" I skated out to the middle of the rink and waited for the song to start.
Once those first few piano notes echoed around the room, they brought me back to skating with Yurio last year. And everything we were saying with Stole the Show. Suddenly, I ripped my own heart out. After last night with Victor, I realized how much I really did miss him. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that he got his happy ending, but then…What about me? I mean, sure, I'm getting back into my skating career. I still have my boys. What if I wanted more?
The worst part of it all, though? I know Victor still wouldn't hesitate to drop everything for me. I know I shouldn't be complaining. A lot of people who get divorced usually end up hating their ex. They can be lucky, though. After the divorce, it's a messy bloodbath, a clean cut, and that's all she wrote. It's a million times worse when they go through the divorce and are still completely in love with each other.
Although, I think it's a lot more one sided these days. Victor's got Chris. I got my condo above them. I got Nadya. Was this what the rest of my life was doomed to be? Anytime Violet gets in a jam, Victor's going to be the one to clean up any mess it might leave? Was I really that…pathetic? Of course I am. Even now, I'm having a breakdown on the ice…I'm sure he was hiding somewhere, waiting to be my white knight.
"Violet?" Celestino ran out to me, my face tearstained, "Hey…What have I told you about tears on my ice, sweetheart? What's the matter?"
"Nothing," I shook it off, "I just need to skate this one out. I'll be fine, Coach. I promise."
"Alright," Celestino knew better than to pry. Not to mention, he was a sucker when it came to me crying.
I pulled myself up from the ice and skated to my phone. One song. One song only could make me feel better. Thank God, I've spent a lot of time with two young boys that liked their cartoons. There was one show that Yurio was absolutely in love with that I couldn't believe was intended for children. It had a lot of mature themes to it and I'm not talking naked people. Heavier things that young children shouldn't have to go through, but if they do, I'm glad the creators are, in a way, there for them in a different way than anyone else could be. In my many, many hours of watching it with the boys, I've come to fall in love with a certain vampire queen. Girlfriend could jam. She took the family ax and turned it into a bass guitar. And I, for one, love that. In one episode, she got into a fight with the princess and a beautiful song of anger and love sprang from it.
"Ladadadada…" the speakers blared while I did a few lazy spins back to the center of the rink, "I'm going to bury you in the ground…Ladadadada…I'm going to bury you with my sound…"
Heavy riffs and heavier lyrics filled the rink and my heart. I wasn't going to be anyone's problem. I could do things on my own. No more will I wait around for Victor to come to my rescue. I'm a big girl. If I want to stay out all night, I'll do it. If I want to stay in all night, I'll do it. I don't have to feed off Victor's constant support to make myself happy. Just for the hell of it, I might just punch someone in the street. It doesn't matter who. No. Just because I'm on this path of liberation doesn't mean I'm stupid. In moderation. All things in moderation. He's moved on. It's about time I do, too.
The song came to a close and I was ready to fold myself in half over the railing. Violet's tired. Violet's sore. Violet still hasn't told her coach about her bruises on her leg yet. When I woke up, I felt a little stiff, but I'm sure I'm fine. Luckily, I didn't fall much in practice, so I don't have to worry about further injury. And I'm sure if I told Celestino, he'd be yelling at me. Either way, I wanted a nap. And a massage would be nice, but unnecessary.
"Violet," Celestino helped me back up, "Are you…"
"Am I what?" I knew what he was going to say. And I thought he knew better.
"Never mind." I stand corrected. He did know better, "You want to call it a day? You and Yurio still have practice, right?"
"Yeah," I caught my breath, "Tomorrow. We got tomorrow."
"Same time?"
"Same place," I agreed.
Celestino kissed my cheek, "We'll get there. I have no doubt in my mind that we'll get to the Grand Prix Final this year. You both will. Good luck, bambina."
"Thanks, Coach," I sighed out, ready to call it a day already.
But unfortunately, I couldn't do that. I had to get my baby and get him on the ice, too. First things first, though, I needed to score some more coffee. And maybe another latte for Yurio. I wonder what he'd be like with enough caffeine in him. It's not like I'd start him out on espresso. That's just irresponsible. His heart would give out. I got his latte half-caff instead. Just a little bit. Just enough to get him moving. And maybe have a little more energy on the ice…
"Yuri," I kept my voice down and sat at the edge of his bed, "Yuri, wake up."
"What's that smell?" Yurio barely opened his eyes.
"What's it smell like?" I wondered, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Please don't say sweat.
"Like the café we went to yesterday," he rolled into me, "It's delightful."
"Good nose, kid," I sat him up, "That's exactly what it is. I got you the same hot chocolate you liked yesterday."
"Yay!" Yurio took his cup from me, "I like my apple juice, Mama, but I think this might be my new favorite."
"That's my boy," I kissed the top of his head, "Go get ready. I'll be waiting."
"Ok," he drank a little bit and a smile was soon plastered on his face, "I really like this one, Mama."
"Go on," I shooed him, "And once you try doing coffee in the shower, it's a whole new experience."
"Ok!"
He was so simple. Once my baby was all clean and ready to go, Yurio and I hit the rink. I loved the path he decided to take this season with doing fame as his theme. It's so easy, yet so complex. And with his ego, I think he'll be able to pull it off. Yurio walks the fine line between cocky and confident already. He's already got the fame mindset. My baby's going to end up a rockstar after this season. I could feel it in my soul.
"Alright, Yuri," I finished tying his skates, "We're going to try something different. I know you're used to skating a certain genre, but we're going to break away from the pop princesses for now."
"What do you mean?" Yurio wondered, "I thought I was going to skate Primadonna this year."
"And you will," I assured, going through my music library, "I'm thinking we try something a little harder. Not harder in difficulty, but harder in sound. That's the beautiful thing about your music choices. If you keep people on their toes, you'll impress the judges that much more, too. It's good to be varied. I know you like skating to Marina and I can't blame you. But try things my way for a bit."
"Fine," he caved, "What am I skating to?"
"Another song about the tortures of fame," I grinned, "When I was in high school, this was one of my favorites. It's called Bullet with Butterfly Wings."
"Interesting," Yurio mirrored me. That's my boy.
"You think you can do something on the spot for me?" I requested.
"I'd love to," he started heading out to the ice. Almost a little too quick for my taste. Last time he ran like that, I thought he busted out his front teeth. We couldn't have that right now. I don't care how far away competition season was. Putting Yurio through something like that was not in the cards.
"Go on," I sent him off, "Center ice. If you want to try big jumps, clear it with me first, ok?"
"Can I do it on this song?"
"Absolutely not," I put my foot down, "But thank you for asking first."
"Fine…"
I had a feeling Yurio would be into this. It's loud, it's angry, and if I told him that it was one of those songs that Victor would turn off when we were in the car together, it'd be come his new favorite song. But then again, when I found the Smashing Pumpkins while I was still in high school, all I wanted to do was thrash around my room, blaring music that pissed off my parents.
Going by the way he was on the ice, I didn't even have to give the song backstory. Yurio was into it. He really was my son. We may not share blood, but goddamn, that boy was mine. And he makes Mama proud. The only problem was with this song, Yurio kept tripping over himself trying to keep up to the music. I don't understand. The beat was practically the same as Primadonna. He should be nailing this one, too. Nevertheless…
"I like that one, Mama," Yurio skated back to the partition, out of breath, "But it's too fast."
"I'm sure if you work on it," I figured, finding a different song, "You'd be able to get it, no problem. You tried it. You liked it. We can move on. You want something within genre now instead of alternative rock made years before you were born?"
"Yes, please."
"Alright," I scrolled, "This one is another one that touches on the negative sides of fame. Everyone tells the girl that, because she's famous, she's lucky. Little do they know, she's incredibly lonely and depressed and all they can do is tell her she's lucky. And she gets too in her head about it."
"Why doesn't she just give it all up?" Yurio worried, caught up in the story.
"Because," I explained, "She's too deep into it. And if the constant stream of attention stops, what then? Why did they all turn on her? Why don't they love her anymore? It's kind of a double edge sword."
"Mama," he asked, "Did you ever deal with that when you were skating?"
"Not really," I thought back, "Because I always had Victor there to keep me grounded. Now, go. Make me proud."
"Ok." I know it was an innocent question, but Yurio hit me somewhere I didn't need to be hit today. And it wasn't the first time that spot in my heart has been hit either. I need to stop getting so into my head. That's no good for you, Violet. That's when you need to bust out the bottle of bourbon and drown that shit while you're ahead.
It's too bad I didn't like bourbon, though. Once the song came to an end, Yurio was ready to call it. I could see it in his eyes. He made a lot of big jumps today and I couldn't be prouder. I'm just glad he didn't come crashing down on any of them. He skated back toward the partition and reached for his water bottle.
"Ready to rest up before I take you to the Madame, baby?" I asked, picking him up over the wall.
"Yeah," Yurio collapsed on the bench, "But Mama, why did you pick something so sad?"
"That's just the nature of the beast, Yuri," I shrugged, "It happens to the best of them who let their head get too big. That's what a good support system's for. Fortunately for us, we both have that. Now, come on. We need to get you home."
And to not talk about the monster that fame can be anymore. At first, I was completely down for this. I loved the thought of Yurio exploring how fame would affect him, but it backfired on me. His routines were screwing with my head. To get myself back on track, I thought about my own theme. Lust. It sounds like fun. My whole program is going to be like seeing the Red Light District on ice and I couldn't wait. I should've thought it through a little better, though. Looks like Victor and Chris are going to be having the talk with the boys sooner than they thought. They had to learn sometime.
HOLD ON A MINUTE!
If anyone could help me get back into that kind of a mindset, I knew one man that wouldn't hesitate. The one person I knew who could help me find a certain sense of Eros that would make the judges swoon. And lucky me, I knew where he lived. I had to bring Yurio back anyway. It's worth a shot. The worst he can do is say no.
"Yurio!" Speak of the beautiful devil, "We missed you! How was practice?"
"PUT ME DOWN, UNCLE CHRIS!" Yurio squealed, trying to fight his embrace, "MAMA!"
"Chris," I settled him, "We've been over this."
"That's right," Chris pouted, putting Yurio's feet back on the floor, "I'm sorry. I got a little excited."
"Actually," I smiled, "I need to ask you a favor."
"Me?" he wondered, "Of course, Violet. What's on your mind?"
"Yuri, go to your room," I sent him off, "Rest up. I'll be back in a little while to get you."
"Must be serious," Chris assumed while Yurio did as I asked, "Is everything alright?"
"I don't want you to take offense to this," I prefaced, "But you're the single most lustful person I've ever met in my life."
"Thank you," he took the compliment.
"And my theme this year is lust," I went on, "I'm having some trouble tapping into my inner slut and I was wondering if you could help me with that…"
"Absolutely!" Chris' face lit up, "Are you busy tonight?"
"Not that I know of," I did a quick assessment in my head, "Why?"
"We start tonight," he ordered, "Vitya!"
"What?" Victor called from the bathroom, "Make it quick, Chris. Yuri and I have the rink from noon to one and we can't miss that slot."
"Do you have a date with Violet tonight?"
"No."
"Good!" Chris chirped, "That makes one of us!"
Why did I have that feeling I might have bit off more than I could chew…?
A/N: I know. I know. It's up late. I have a perfectly good excuse of why. For some reason last night, I got a sudden urge to move around my bedroom furniture. For a good portion of my day today, I was moving around my bedroom furniture, hadamildpanicattackbutimoknow, and it put the story a little far back. But! I did get it up tonight. And that's what counts. Now, as for Chris and Violet…
They have a friendship, too! It's a shame we haven't seen much of it, but there was the mention on Yuri's birthday when Victor had gotten sick, stayed in the hotel room, and Chris and Violet went to Coney Island. And Violet bought Chris new shoes that day. Because Chris is kind of Extra™. That's why he and Victor work so well together! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to treat myself to some pastel pens from the internet. See you next chapter! xx