Chapter 4

"Do you have any luggage left at the B&B?" Molly asked me.

"No, it's already in my car."

"Then I can come with you and show you the way to our house. It's not that far but I guess you'll want to bring your car?"

"You'll go with me in my car?" I heard myself sounding more surprised than was reasonable.

"Unless you have some kind of phobia to having unknown girls in your car?"

"No, not at all."

She was making fun of me and felt I was behaving like a fool, only because it seemed so sureal that the physical shape of the same Molly that had written me the letter now would be sitting beside me in my car.

During the short drive, she chatted and pointed out things we drove past. The shop where she was working part time, the school, the small museum where the history of the village apparently was on display. We soon arrived to the Dawes family's large, brown brick house which was situated in the outskirts of the village. Like many other houses in Snowhaven, it was amazingly beautifully decorated. No multi-coloured lights or raindeers, but hundreds or even thousand warm white lights, many feet of garlands made of fir and numerous baubles in red and gold. She noticed my reaction.

"It's a bit overwhelming, I know, but we really love Christmas decorations."

"It's amazing. I thought my parents were good at Christmas decorations, but this is in another league. Do you make all those garlands yourselves?"

"No, Nan knows a guy who does them and then we add the lights and baubles. It's a family tradition to decorate the house last weekend in November each year, so we're fully prepared when December comes."

"It's a nice location here, where there's larger gardens than in the centre."

"It's not very far but it would have been more practical if it was next doors to the pub. My parents fell in love with this house long before they took over the pub and when it was up for sale one day, they could not resist buying it – and we have needed a large house because I have many siblings."

"How many?"

Of course, I knew that. They were six in total, Molly the eldest and her youngest brother was twenty years younger than her – she had told me in her letter.

"We're six. You have already met Bella, then there's Liam, Timmy, Lucy and little Bill. I'm the eldest and Bill's only three."

That would make her twenty-three, like I had guessed.

"Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"No, it's only me and my parents."

She frowned slightly.

"I find it difficult to imagine growing up without siblings. Was it lonely or did you like not having a bunch of noisy people around?"

"Both, I think. I would have liked to have a brother or sister, but it wasn't my choice really."

We entered the house and I got occupied taking it all in. Already in the entrance it was apparent that a large family lived here, because the floor was cluttered with shoes and boots and when Molly opened the wardrobe to hang our coats there, the coats and jackets already in there threatened to flood out.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy", she said, but I liked it. Liked the feeling of coming home to a house that one could see was crowded even when one did not see all the actual persons living here. The atmosphere was warm, cosy, the interior made of natural materials like lime stone and dark wood, mixed with curtains and cushions in tasteful fabrics and wool blankets hanging over the arm rests of the couches and armchairs, book shelves from floor to ceiling filled with books, photographs and trinkets. In the centre of the living room, there was a fire place were a fire was burning right now making crackling sounds. One could see that it was a home which a family had built up over a long time, with lots of love. In addition to all the visual impressions, it smelled wonderful, like someone was baking. Molly sniffed too.

"It smells like Nan is making her famous apple pie, you're about to get lucky tonight. Do you like it? The house?"

"It's everything I thought it would be", I said without thinking.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I mean, when you meet someone you imagine what their home will be like. This is just like I pictured your home would be when I met all of you." Just like I had pictured it all those times I had read her letter and tried to imagine her and her family in their home.

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" she laughed.

"Good, definitely. It's a very nice home, very cosy and inviting."

"Thanks."

I could see it made her happy.

"Come on, I'll show you your room."

She guided me upstairs.

"Here is it. Bathroom is around the corner and I'll get you some towels. Take your time to settle in and I'll see you later."

I looked around, this was totally surreal, finding myself in Molly's house even stranger than having her in my car. I felt I ought to tell her about the card, that it had brought me here. The longer I waited to tell her, the stranger it would seem once I did. I did not want to come across like a stalker, but realised I might. Like I had been obsessed with her letter and sneaked my way into her home, but I did not feel like a stalker. I felt like a very normal guy who had been affected by a letter in a way I could not explain myself, and even more affected by the writer once I met her. Ending up here in this house due to Dave's accident was just coincidence, fluke – luck, I hoped.

When I went downstairs again, Belinda asked me if I could do her the favour of going out to the garage and get some extra chairs. Besides me, her brother, Dr. Chapman and his family would come for dinner and her mother, who they all just called Nan was already there.

"I'll show you were they are", Dave said and came along on his crutches.

The large garage seemed to also be something of a man cave for Dave and was even more cluttered with things than the house. To my surprise there was sleigh in addition to the car. Dave saw my surprise.

"It's my hobby project. Belinda has always wished to go to the Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve in a sleigh, but even here where we usually have much snow in winter, one can't be certain that it's possible to travel with a sleigh, so I'm putting wheels on it."

I smiled because it was a bit crazy yet very loving gift for his wife. Then I spotted some framed photos on the wall. One was obviously a young Dave in uniform, another was him and Belinda getting married. There was also one of a very beautiful natural scenery, a waterfall.

"Is this somewhere nearby?"

"Yes, it's actual a memorial place over fallen British soldiers, only a few miles away. Very beautiful, in summer as well as in winter. You should visit before you leave the neighbourhood."

"Maybe I will."

"What are you doing for the holiday, Charles?"

"Me? I don't know to be honest. I was supposed to be in Afghan over Christmas, but then something happened which I prefer not to talk about, and I was sent home earlier for some R&R. My parents had already planned to go to Italy, so now it will only be me in their house in Bath. It almost makes me wish I was back in Afghan because there I at least had the company of my men. I guess it will be me and a bottle of whisky."

"Then I have a proposal for you."

"Okay?"

"Stay here."

"I couldn't Dave…"

"Wait, hear me out, it's a business proposition. With my sprained ankle I'll be of little use in the pub and this is the busiest time of the year. I'll need to find someone to replace me and that's not easy because everyone else is also so busy around Christmas. Please stay and help me in the pub, and you can stay here in our room and also celebrate the Christmas with us. It would be working for room and board and you would be the one doing us a favour. I need your help and you would be more than welcome. Fate brought you here."

It was an offer I wanted to accept more than anything, staying in this lovely house and get to know Molly better, but I felt I could not accept it without being honest with him.

"Not fate exactly." I cleared my throat, slightly nervous and he looked curious.

"You see, last year when I was in Afghan, I got this Christmas card."

I took the card out from my coat pocket and showed him.

"It was Molly who wrote it to me, or rather to an unknown soldier. I've read it so many times and I was curious about the village, about her and when I was nearby…"

"…you could not resist coming here."

"No. Is that very weird? That a grown man would travel here based on this card?"

"She brought you here." Dave looked surprisingly cheerful.

"I feel a bit weird about it anyway. Would you be okay if we kept it to ourselves for now? I don't want Molly to freak out, I promise you I'm quite normal. If I stay I'll tell her but I'd like her to know me a bit first."

"I can see that you are - normal, don't worry. I won't say anything, and it doesn't matter how you got here, I'm glad you're here with us now."

I was relieved over his reaction and we brought the chairs inside and found the dinner just ready. The entire Dawes clan, except Bella were gathered this evening. She and her boyfriend were in charge of the pub tonight, someone obviously had to be. The meal was fantastic, a roast with oven baked thyme potatoes and Nan's apple pie with custard afterwards. They were a noisy bunch, the Dawes, very different from my own family of three. Passing bowls with food back and forth across the table, interrupting each other, the younger kids talking with food in their mouths and placing their elbows on the table, everyone laughing much. I loved being with them. I looked up and caught Molly watching me.

"What?"

"You seem to be enjoying yourself?"

"I am."

"Not overwhelmed then? I mean, since you said you don't have siblings."

"No, I realise what I've been missing."

"Dad told me you might be staying?"

"Would you be okay with that?"

"Yes, of course. It's great if you can work in the pub, we can't afford to be one person short this time of year."

After the meal, everyone went outside for a snowball fight. It was already dark but all the Christmas lights adorning the house lighted up the garden too. We were two teams, Dave the happy referee and Molly belonged to the enemy side. She was a fierce snow fighter and hit me several times. I was very pleased when I finally managed to throw a snowball at the nape of her neck, so it found its way inside the collar of her coat, where I knew it would melt down her back.

"Oh, you..."

"You what?"

"Nothing?"

"Really? I thought you were about to say something really impolite to a guest of the house?"

She spat her tongue at me and quickly made another snowball, threw and hit my scalp. I was laughing so my stomach hurt, smiling so my face muscles got tired. I had not been this happy since Elvis died, or maybe even longer ago. An hour's snow fight with the Dawes family did things to me which hours with a trained psychiatrist had not managed. Whatever it turned out to be, I knew this detour was the best thing that had happened to me.

Molly

Later that evening, the guests were gone, the little ones had gone to bed and mum and dad were probably watching telly up in their bedroom. The house was unusually peaceful and quiet and I sat by the kitchen table helping dad with the accounting for the pub, drinking hot chocolate and then Charles joined me. His hair was a bit dishevelled after the snow fight, he was dressed in t-shirt and joggers and looked generally gorgeous. I liked having him around. The way he saved dad from being hit by the car was amazing, and he was kind and funny and in no way the posh twat one could have misjudged him for going only by his looks. He did not feel like a stranger intruding in our home, more like he easily fit in and almost belonged with our family. Yet, the unsettling feeling from our first encounter lingered somehow. A bit like when someone tickles you with a feather; it feels good, but it is disturbing too. Those brown eyes that seemed to get stuck in mine, or if it was mine that got stuck in them - and the feeling that he knew me despite that I had never met him before yesterday. And seriously, it should be forbidden to look that good in t-shirt when someone (I) tries to focus on important things like accounting.

"I thought I would take something to drink", he said. He had this melodious, almost singing voice.

"Help yourself, there's hot chocolate in this thermos, mugs in that cupboard. There's even marshmallows in a jar if you'd like that. I seem to remember you're a fan of marshmallows."

He smiled and prepared himself a mug of hot drink and sat down in front of me.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping dad with accounting."

"Sorry, if you're working I won't disturb you."

"No, sit, please. You're not disturbing, you're saving me from getting bored to death."

"You don't like it then?"

"No."

"What do you like to do then?"

"Like anything, or work?"

"Both."

I got the feeling he was genuinely interested, not just making small-talk.

"I like both my jobs, the one in the pub and B&B, at least the part where I meet people, not the accounting, and my other one in the shop. There I also like the customers, helping them find the right book or antiquity for them, but..."

"But what?"

"My favourite job is in my uncles practice."

"You work there too?"

"I volunteer, because I like it so much."

"You don't want to do that full-time then? Work with patients for real like a nurse or doctor?"

I spun my empty cup. This was the £10000-question I had asked myself many times.

"I don't know. Maybe. Yes. I'd love to be a nurse, but to be that I would have to leave Snowhaven to study for a few years."

"Is that a problem? Could you not imagine living anywhere else?"

His brown eyes looked at me searchingly.

"I think that's what I find difficult to decide. Everyone I love lives here, that makes me not want to leave, but maybe it would be worth it to be able to work with what I really want to. What do you think?"

"I have a feeling you would be a brilliant nurse, and I think you would find that those years the studies take would pass very quickly. In the end you need to follow your own heart, but don't you think you would regret it if you didn't at least give it a try?"

"Maybe."

I liked the way he encouraged me without pushing me to choose something I was not sure was right. My parents and many other villagers wanted me to stay, Bella and my uncle absolutely thought I should go. No one used to tell me to follow my own heart. Least of all Smurf, he just wanted me to follow him. Smurf. I was not in the mood for thinking about him right now.

"Your family is great, your parents are great."

His words warmed me. I liked that he liked them, for some reason it was important to me.

"Aren't they? They've had their ups and downs through the years. Dad used to drink too much, and mum even left him at one point, but they sorted it out because they truly love each other and now I think they're better together than ever. They have this relationship where both give and take, listen to each other and respect one another. I guess that's what I hope to have too."

I went silent, thinking but not saying that I was in a relationship but far from sure it ticked all those important tick boxes.

"I think that's what we all hope for but it's not that easy to find", he said seriously.

"What are your parents like?"

"In one way very different from your parents, but when it comes to the love they feel for each other they're quite similar. So, my role models aren't that different from yours."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

The question slipped out of me, I had not meant to ask. He smiled and plainly said;

"No."

I was happy about the answer, without any good reason and relieved when mum interrupted us to fetch a glass of water, so he never got to ask me the same question in return. I had wondered for a long time if Smurf and I were really made for each other, if he was the soul mate I was meant to be with, but now for the first time another man made a small part of me wish that I was single. It was a very disturbing realization and before mum left again, I got to my feet, said that I was tired and should go to bed. And I did, but sleeping was not easy, not with the knowledge that a handsome captain named Charles James slept in the same house.