A/N: Thanks again for the lovely reviews, now continuing this in quick pace with the intention to return to '25 days...'.

X


Chapter 7

Molly had the day off from the shop because she had volunteered to sell Christmas trees for charity, the same trees we had chopped down the day before. Smurf was supposed to join her and make up for just being on the phone yesterday. They were to open up at nine and Molly was ready at half past eight, standing in the hallway looking for his car. Quarter to nine he still had not arrived and she was pacing impatiently. Another five minutes later he called. She looked sad when she hung up.

"He won't make it, work emergency. Can anyone drive me? I'll be late if I walk now."

I saw Dave frown, Bella look angry and even Belinda sighed.

"I can go with you. I don't mind staying and help you sell the trees if you want me to."

"Really? I'd love some company. This is nice with company but quite boring to do alone."

She rewarded me with that adorable smile of hers and I thought I would have sold thousand Christmas trees if it meant being with her.


The trees practically sold themselves. Everyone wanted a tree these days and only the better if part of what they paid went to charity. I was surprised there were so many last minute buyers though.

"We've had our tree a couple of weeks already, but I guess everyone does not have time to start as early as us", Molly said. "Hi Ms. Finch. You want a small one? The cats don't like big trees? I understand, let's find you a small one then. I think I saw one over here."

She led the middle-aged, thin woman with frizzy hair to a tree that seemed to be exactly what she was looking for.

"Oh, my little kittens will like this", she almost purred.

I understood this must be the spinster with twenty cats Molly had written about in her letter. When she had left, happily with tree in tow, Molly whispered.

"It's not little kittens. She has at least twenty full-grown scary cats with claws. She's so nice but the cats horrible. She loves them though."

Next came a couple, or I was not sure if they were. They seemed like they wanted to hold hands but they did not and they seemed a bit nervous about being there together.

"Ms. Brannigan and Mr. Dudley, how nice to see you! Let me see if I can find two pretty trees for you. Here we have two really fine ones", Molly said.

Aha, the butcher and his secret admirer.

"They both look very good, but... errr..." Mr. Dudley cleared his throat. "We only want one."

Molly looked questioning at them.

"You see, we're celebrating together this year", Ms. Brannigan added, her face red like a tomato.

"Finally!" Molly grinned and hugged them both. Now both looked embarrassed but also very proud and happy.

"Ms. Brannigan's secret crush on Mr. Dudley has been common knowledge to everyone but him for years. It seems like something finally opened his eyes. I'm so thrilled for them", she told me when they walked away.

So was I. I had hoped for a happy ending for them since I read her letter. I loved how Molly seemed to take joy in everyone else's happiness even on a day when her own boyfriend had stood her up.

"Are you okay with me being here instead of Smurf? I understand it must be a disappointment that it's me instead of your boyfriend."

"I'm disappointed he didn't come when he had promised to. It's not the first time... First he is almost never here, then when he is here he suddenly has to go off to something more important even if we have made plans." Then she smiled. "But I'm not disappointed you are here, I have such a great time with you Charles. It feels like I've known you much longer than I have, like you're a really good friend I can be myself with. It's strange."

I cleared my throat.

"I feel the same." At the same time as I was happy she felt like that, it disturbed me a bit to be in the friend-zone - but I knew I could be nothing else when she already had a boyfriend.


At noon our shift was over.

"Do you want to go for a walk before we have lunch?"

We walked towards the pond, Dave's and Belinda's special magical place.

"You seem lighter than when you first came here, happier", she said.

"I think I am. Staying here, being with your family, being with you has made me happier."

She bit her lower lip and looked down.

"What were you sad about, when you came?"

I had told her before, right when it all happened and many times thereafter so it was not that difficult to do it again. The words came out so much easier than when I was talking to the psychiatrist because I knew she actually cared and wanted to tell her.

"On my last tour in Afghan, my best friend was killed in front of me."

I saw her eyes widen in horror. I told her about Elvis, who he had been, what he meant to me, the family he left behind him and how he had planned for this to be his last tour, the guilt I felt, the thoughts about if I could have prevented it. She listened attentively without interrupting, let me tell what I needed to say without questions, just kept my gaze and nodded. I saw her eyes fill to the brim with tears, which at some point poured over the edge and ran down her cheeks and she dried them away with the arm of her coat. I was crying too.

When I finally had told her everything and went silent, she stepped into me and hugged me. This tiny girl wrapped her arms around my waste and gave me more comfort, holding me, than anyone had. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that. Until my tears dried leaving a thin cold, salty layer on my cheeks.

"Thanks", I said at last.

"For what?"

"For listening, for holding me."

She just smiled.

"I'm glad you told me. I realise it's hard. I realise that there's nothing I can say to take the pain away, but you can talk to me anytime."

"We should probably get back though. We've been here for long and the others will wonder where we are."

We started walking but then I slipped on an icy spot hidden under the snow, and so did she and like in some cliché love move we both fell so she landed on top of me.

"I'm sorry", she giggled.

"Not your fault, it's icy", I smiled back and did not at all mind having her over me.

Her happy face was so close, our breaths-turned-smoke mingled, her green eyes locked into mine. We were frozen like that, breathing. Then she did the unthinkable, closed the small distance between us and kissed me. First hesitantly, then when she felt me responding to it, kissed me deeper, more intensively. Our lips parted, touching softly, tongues flitting out to probe each other gently, then hard and hungrily. I buried my hands in her hair, held her to me. I could not help it, I poured all my longing for her in that kiss, all the feelings I had built up reading her letter, and the new and even stronger feelings I had developed when I got to know her. I'm not sure I was breathing anymore, there was only this, her, we, now. She pulled away to take a deep breath, her eyes a bit glazed, her lips swollen and she focused on me, then she seemed to come to her senses. The spell was broken.

"What am I doing?"

She seemed to be talking to herself rather than to me.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm not that kind of person... I'm with Smurf and I'm not fine with cheating. It was a lovely kiss but... I can't. I have to go." She unsteadily got to her feet.

"Molly! Let me go with you."

"No, I need to be alone."

I did not want her to leave like this, upset, feeling like she had done something wrong. Well, technically it was wrong but it had felt so completely right. How could it then be wrong? But it was her decision not mine and I did not want to push her even if my body was already aching to hold her again. So, I let her go alone, like she said she wanted to and then walked home alone after her. The touch and taste of her lips lingering on mine. I had not kissed her first, she had kissed me. Did it mean anything or was it one giant mistake to her? I did not want to be her mistake, I wanted to be the one she wanted to be with. When I came back to the house I decided to leave her some space and avoid her for now, went to the garage and continued my project which was beginning to take shape.


Molly

How could I? I did not know the answer to that. It was not because he was undeniably attractive. It was not because I felt sympathy and sadness for him when he told me the story about his dead friend. It was not because he made me laugh all the time and smelled so intoxicating, a faint smell of expensive aftershave, mixed with shampoo and him underneath. It was because it felt right. He felt right. The kissing made my stomach clench and my heart beat harder and faster because it felt so right. Being that close to him had not been capable of thinking, I only did what every kind of nerve in my body, sensory and motor nerves, told me to do; place my lips to his - and in the moment I did, it felt even more right. It was like when I touched him something ignited in this otherwise so controlled man. His response overwhelmed me, excited me. The hunger in his kiss, the want, like he had waited years to kiss me, only me and no one else, even if I knew that was not possible when we had met only days ago. I have never been kissed like that, like I was everything to him, like he wanted to bring me to a bed an make love to me for hours and then spend his life with me. Nothing like it, but I have to forget it. I must. It felt completely right, but it was wrong.


I sat in the kitchen with mum, shaking and tearful and she had prepared me a cup of tea. Asking for that was she only thing I had managed to utter before composing myself a bit. I hoped he would not come home at once and had the feeling he would not.

"I kissed Charles, mum."

Her eyebrows raised but she said nothing.

"We were at your and dad's magical spot, by the pond and we slipped and then I kissed him. He didn't kiss me, I kissed him. I love Smurf but I kissed Charles."

"You were probably wrapped up in the moment, love. It was just a brief lapse in judgement."

"I'm not sure. What if it wasn't? Mum, what scares me is that it felt so right. I'm not even sure if I'm able to regret it."

She took my hand.

"I can't tell you what's right and what's wrong Molly. You have to listen to your heart, sometimes it will tell you things you did not expect to hear."

"But I've been with Smurf for so long."

"That alone is not a reason to stay with someone. Not a reason to leave either. You should be with the one you love, the one who's right for you and that decision is yours."

"I don't know how I'll be able to meet Charles again."

"I'm sure you'll manage and if you decide it's Smurf you should stay with, then Charles will leave after Christmas and you'll never have to see him again."

Even though I feared meeting him after this, the thought of not seeing him again was so depressing I made me want to cry. How was it possible to have so ambiguous emotions?

I did not see Charles more that afternoon. I knew he was not supposed to work in the pub until in the evening, but assumed he decided to stay out of my way and despite that I did not want him to disappear for good, I was relieved about the time-out, that he did not force his presence on me after what had happened. Then it occurred to me that he might be angry because I had kissed him and then ran, and that thought gave me no peace either.

In the late afternoon, mum had prepared dough for Christmas cookies and she, dad, Liam, Timmy, Lucy, Bill and Nan we all baking when the front door opened and I nearly jumped out of my skin because I thought it was Charles. To my relief and disappointment (yes, I must admit disappointment), it was Smurf. I was not sure if I was mostly mad or disappointed that he had stood me up that morning. If he had not I never would have kissed Charles, but I knew that only had to do with that the opportunity would not have arisen. Kissing Charles had nothing to do with revenge on Smurf for not showing up, it did not even have anything to do with feeling lonely. The kiss had only been about Charles and me.

"Hi all", he now said with a grin. "I was wondering if I could steal Molly away for the evening?"

I was not sure I was prepared to be alone with him tonight after what I had done to him today, been unfaithful and not even regretted it for real, but everyone nodded and said yes and of course, except dad who muttered something. I know he does not think Smurf is right for me, but frankly I do not care. I have to decide who is right for me.

"Put on something nice, baby, we're going out for dinner."

I knew that when Smurf took me to dinner it was usually to some fancy place, then when we were there he would glance at the menu and I would see in his face that he thought it was too expensive and even if he said nothing I would always feel forced to chose one of the cheaper dishes on the menu and skip the desert. Well, tonight I did not deserve any desert anyway, but I went to put on a nice dress so I would fit in the restaurant.

It was not that difficult to guess where he was taking me, because there is only one restaurant in Snowhaven which Smurf thinks is worth the name, an exclusive Italian restaurant called Limoncello. When we got there, the place was empty which surprised me very much as it was high-season.

"Where are all you guests tonight?" I asked Martha who showed us to a linen clothed table with candles lit.

"We're closed for tonight, except for a private party."

"Can we really stay then?", I asked Smurf when she left.

"The private party is us, silly", he said and looked terribly pleased with himself.

I felt a small wave of panic build up inside because I suddenly had a feeling where this was going. Not today, not after what had happened today.

"What are you up to?"

"I just wanted to spend some quality time with my lovely girlfriend."

Martha came with a bottle of Dom Perignon and poured two glasses.

"To us", Smurf said and his eyes sparkled with excitement.

"To us."

"Oh, I can't wait any longer. I know I should wait until Christmas and gather your family, but I can't wait anymore..."

No no no no!

He pulled out a small box.

"Molly, will you do me the honour of marrying me?"

"Sm...Dylan!"

The box contained a ring with a large diamond. It was so not me, I'm not a girl who ever has wanted a big rock on my finger, but he never cared to find out.

I was not sure what to say, but I knew that a 'no' would mean a finality to things I was not prepared for.

"Yes?" I whispered and he had already started putting the ring on my finger, certain what my answer would be. My eyes teared and he took it for happiness, I was not sure what it was because I felt such mixed emotions in this moment. He kissed me and I could not help thinking of another pair of lips that had touched mine this day - and now I was engaged.

"This will be so great. Once we're married, we'll be travelling the world together you and I."

His words made me wonder even more if I was making a giant mistake, but I just downed my champagne and ordered my food. This evening I took the lobster - and chocolate mousse for desert, but it tasted nothing.


Charles

I did not see her again that evening. I heard that Smurf had come by and taken her out and it made my stomach twist. I hoped that I might get a chance to talk to her when things had calmed down a bit. I wanted to make sure things were not awkward between us. I was in love with Molly and only wished her happiness. If that to her meant being with Smurf, I would accept it without another word. My parents have always told me that truly loving someone means putting their needs before your own. I had never imagined that it would mean leaving a woman I loved to a man a found abominable.