Chapter 8
Molly
When I woke up next morning, it was with a knot in my stomach and first I did not remember why, but then it came back to me. I had kissed Charles and then I had gotten engaged to Smurf. Of course, things did not feel right with Smurf when I had not cleared the air with Charles. I had to. Immediately. Almost manically I got out of bed, put on t-shirt and jeans, went to the guest room and knocked on the door. He was always up early so I expected him to be awake and entered without waiting for his response. When I did, it seemed like I simultaneously startled him and woke him up, but I was too much in a frenzy to care. I sat down on his bedside and he practically flew up to a sitting position. That was when I realised this might not have been a very good idea. His upper body was naked (and perhaps the rest of him too under the duvet but I told myself he must be wearing trunks at least) and when he sat upright I could see that his bare chest and stomach were every bit as muscular as I had imagined when he had clothes on. I nearly lost focus, nearly forgot what I was there to say.
"Molly?" He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, then looked at me, his face confused.
"Sorry for barking in here like this, but I need to talk to you."
He kept looking at me, now curious and with a faint smile at the corner of his mouth.
"Okay, I'm all ears.
He leaned back against the headboard and I wished that he would cover up a bit because that would make things easier. His hair, unruly after sleeping fell into his eyes and I had to stop myself from reaching out a hand and pull it away, until he did it himself by raking his fingers through his locks.
"I need you to know that I got engaged to Smurf last night", I blurted out.
His smile vanished, his expression became completely blank and his eyes darker than usual.
"What are you telling me for?" He said, but softly, not harsh.
"Because of what happened yesterday. I'm sorry I kissed you, I didn't mean to lead you on."
He kept his eyes trained on my face but shifted from my eyes to my lips, making something inside me shiver.
"I'm not sorry."
"What?"
"I'm not sorry you kissed me." He looked me straight into my eyes again. "The time I've spent with your family, you, that kiss, I'll have that with me for the rest of my life. I'll never regret any of it, least of all that kiss."
His words made me both happy and troubled. This was not going as I had planned, I was here to put an end to it but it did not come as easy as I had imagined when I strode in here.
"Molly...", he raised his hand as if to touch my cheek, but I jumped up from the bed before he actually did.
"No. No, I don't want to hear what you have to say. I can't, it's not fair to Smurf. I shouldn't have come here."
"Molly…", he said when I was by the door already. "If this is what you want, this engagement, then I'm really happy for you."
I walked out and felt like slamming the door even if he had done nothing wrong, but I closed it gently as I did not want anyone to notice I had been in there.
Charles
When she first came surprising me in bed, I thought maybe there was a chance for us after all, but her words and actions killed that hope efficiently. She was engaged to Smurf. She had accepted to marry him. I would not try to put a wedge between them, she had made her choice. Maybe it had not even been a hard one.
When I came downstairs she was gone and I hid myself out in the garage for a few hours. Working with my hands did not exactly keep my mind off things but it kept me going. I knew I could not stay here longer, not like this, it would only put Molly and myself in a difficult position. I would stay tonight because it was Christmas Eve and the night of there year when they had most guests in the pub. I had promised I would help them and I would, but I would not stay tomorrow and celebrate Christmas with them. I had been looking forward to it, but now it would only be painful to see Smurf sit beside Molly and hold her hand.
Dave came to see me. I think he was curious about what I was working on, but I covered it up as I wanted it to be a surprise for him too. It turned out he also wanted to have a chat man to man.
"I guess you've heard by now?"
"About Molly and Smurf getting engaged? Yes."
He looked at me searchingly.
"And what do you have to say about it?"
I took a deep breath.
"It sucks. You know I'm in love with her and I think she knows too, but she has made her choice. After all, they've been going out for years and she has only known me for a few days."
"Smurf is not the one, you need to fight for her."
"I believe she has her own will and right to make a decision. I can't intrude where I don't belong."
"You have to do the right thing."
"The right thing to do is to move on. I won't interfere with her happiness."
He seemed to realise that was the end of the discussion even if he did not agree with me.
"Funny, we've all just known you for a few days, but you feel like family Charles. I'll never feel that way about Smurf. I wish you could stay with us."
"I can't. You understand that, don't you?"
"I do."
"I'll finish this up now before it's time to go to the pub. Can I borrow your truck for a while?"
"You've made me very intrigued. Won't you tell me what it is?"
"No, you'll get your gift on Christmas Day like everyone else." I laughed and nudged him to leave the garage. I appreciated talking to Dave. I would miss Molly's family almost as much as I would miss her.
Everyone was in the pub that evening. I got the feeling not only all the villagers of Snowhaven, but maybe from some nearby villages too because it was completely crowded. Spirits were high, beers downed, and songs sung. We were busy behind the bar but had time to enjoy ourselves too. I thought that this was the last of those things that Molly had written me about, which I would get to experience, and it was even merrier than I had pictured it. Smurf was there of course, but I did my best to avoid him and it managed quite well until he came and leaned against the counter with the purpose to talk to me, it seemed.
"I thought you would be gone by now, Charles." As usual he pronounced my name with disdain and I thought that was a stupid thing to do for a man who went by the name Smurf.
"Why is that."
"What with Molly being engaged", he smirked.
"What has that got to do with me?", I asked coldly.
"I just got the feeling she meant something special to you." He looked so spiteful, acting like this had been some kind of competition and I felt like punching his face.
"Okay, Smurf, I'll share a secret with you. I am in love with her, but she loves you. I just hope you're doing this for all the right reasons, not because you suddenly felt jealous when I turned up. You're a lucky man."
"Love, not luck had a big part of my good fortune", he was smirking even more now that I had admitted I was in love with his girl.
"Cheers to that then", I said and turned my back on that wanker. It took quite a bit of self-discipline not to hit him, but I would not want to destroy a joyful evening for everyone gathered there. I was angry, but most of all I was frustrated and sad because everything he said and did indicated Molly would not be happy with this man.
Molly
I saw Smurf talking to Charles and it made me uncomfortable. Not that I thought that Charles would say anything about what had happened between us, but I got the idea that Smurf might not be nice to him. I do not know why I would think so lowly of my boyfriend, my fiancée, he was probably perfectly nice. I had a short break from serving and was having a glass of wine with my friends Katie and Jackie. When Smurf came over to us, judging by his movements and his glazed eyes, I could see that he had had too much to drink. For someone who works with wine he does not stand his drink very well.
"I just had a very nice chat with Charles over in the bar", he slurred. "It's pathetic really that he hangs around here and in your house."
"How can you say that? He's been helping us and he's nothing but kind."
"That's only because he's in love with you Molly, and how pathetic isn't that when you're in love with me? When you're engaged to me."
He burst into fits of laughter but none of us joined him. He continued his rambling.
"He should move on, not stay around. I guess he will when you leave anyway."
"When I leave?"
"Yes, when we're married and you're coming on the road with me or stay in the City. Next year we won't celebrate Christmas in this shitty place, maybe in the French Alpes."
I was shocked.
"Smurf, we have not really discussed were we'll be living and now, tonight, is maybe not the right time."
"We can discuss all you want Molly, but it won't be here. You know that. I was finished with this place years ago."
"Do I? I love Snowhaven, I love my family and everyone else here, they're important to me."
"Tut tut, I'm sure it doesn't take too much to convince you in the end."
He tried to kiss me, his breath smelling of alcohol and I turned away, so he kissed me on the cheek instead. Dad came and saved me from this disappointing conversation.
"Time to close the pub and for everyone to move on to the church for the Midnight Mass."
It was a bit irregular to go to church slightly drunk, but that was what the villagers in Snowhaven always had done so no one questioned it. Even the vicar was in the pub this evening, even if he always had only one glass of red wine.
Dad had his sleigh with wheels parked outside with horses and all. It was finally ready, and this was the first year he would fulfil mum's wish of going to the Midnight Mass in a sleigh. The whole family could not fit into it at the same time, so first he took mum, Nan and the little ones, then came back a second time for me, Bella, Smurf and Charles. Oddly, I found myself sitting between Smurf and Charles, under plaids and a fur. It could have been an amazing sleigh ride through the Christmas decorated village where snowflakes now were falling down on us slowly, but I was a bit too troubled to enjoy it. I could not help feeling that the side of my body that was pressed to Charles somehow felt warmer, which made me want to lean that way instead of in Smurf's direction which should have been the natural choice. Charles did not look at me, he looked the other direction and I wondered what he was thinking, feeling right now. If he was lost like me.
When dad stopped outside the church, Smurf excused himself and said he had to find the toilet before the mass began. His face was a bit greenish and I feared he had to go vomit. Bella and dad had disappeared inside, but Charles was still sitting in the sleigh.
"Are you coming?"
He gave me a lovely smile, for a moment replacing the stern-face he had had during the sleigh ride.
"You go inside, I have something I need to do."
He did not promise he would come, but I thought he would. He did not say goodbye, so I did not think he would leave.
"Double away, Dawesy", he nodded in the direction of the church entrance and I felt I had to go.
Inside, I sat down in the bench where the rest of the family was already seated and took in the sight of the many candles and the choir standing in the front, waiting to sing for us. I always loved the Midnight Mass, but now I felt restless and worried. I glanced towards the doors again and again, but Charles did not come. Smurf came after a while and sat down heavily beside me.
"What are you looking for?" he sputtered when I once again glanced at the entrance. "Or should I say who?"
I was thinking about Charles all through the mass. Not my boyfriend beside me, not the vicar's words until he said;
"Now, let us send a prayer to our soldiers who are deployed abroad over Christmas."
It made me want to cry. In fact, I could not hold back anymore. The one soldier I cared most about was close, but not close enough. Not here beside me.
"Excuse me", I said and stood up and paved my way outside. The cold air hit my face, but I welcomed it, it made me feel like sobering up even if I had not been drunk to begin with. Dad's sleigh was empty, Charles nowhere to be seen and I hated not knowing where he was. The doors swung open and Smurf stumbled out.
"What the fuck, Molly? Why did you walk out like that? Everyone will wonder what my fiancée is up to."
I looked at him, drunk, annoyed, worried about what others would think but not about how I felt, and in his eyes, I did not catch one spark of love. Suddenly I knew with certainty what the right thing to do was.
"I'm sorry Smurf, I can't do this."
"Do what baby, stand outside the church in the cold? I agree, let's go inside."
"No. This."
I pulled the engagement ring off my finger and held it to him in my palm. He stared at it.
"You must be kidding me."
"No."
"You're turning me down? For what? For a looser-life in this looser-village? Come on Molls, we can do so much better than that."
"I'm not sure I can do any better than this, at least not with you. We don't belong together anymore Smurf. I was in love you once, but now I'm not. That's the only thing that matters right now. I'll have to figure out the rest of my life later, but this, you and I, ends now."
He grunted furiously, said no more but took the ring from my palm. He made no wishes for my life to turn out well even if it was without him, but then again, I had hardly expected that. He did not go back inside, instead strode away down the snowy street. I went inside, more at ease than before but I knew my mind would not find complete peace until I had talked to Charles.
When we all returned home, the house was dark and Charles apparently already asleep, so I would have to wait to talk to him until in the morning.
Christmas Day. How I hoped it would turn out better than Christmas Eve, but since I had already righted one mistake, chances were good. Now I only had to right the second one.
When I woke up, I jumped out of bed and nearly ran to Charles room, knocked at the door but just like the day before did not wait for his answer. Yesterday I had been eager to say I did not love him, now I could not wait to tell him that I was in love with him. The sight of the room made me stop in my tracks. The bed was empty and made up. There was no sign of him, no clothes, no bag, nothing. My heart wrenched with anxiety and I rushed down the stairs and looked outside on the driveway. His car was gone too. Charles was gone.
I sat down heavily on the couch. How could he leave without saying goodbye? I had no idea what to do now. We had never need to call each other while he was here, so I did not even have his mobile number – and I desperately wanted to talk to him. The rest of the family had heard me rushing down the stairs and now they all came, curious about what was happening.
"Charles has left, without saying goodbye." I had to fight not to start crying.
"Maybe that's for the better?" mum asked.
"No, mum. It's not for the better! I realised that yesterday and I wanted to tell him, but now he's gone."
"There's a letter here in the Christmas tree", Nan said. "To the Dawses, it says."
"Open it", dad sounded as impatient as I felt and took the letter from Nan who is not famous for being able to speed things up. He opened it and read out loud.
Snowhaven, Dec 24, 2014
Dear All,
The last week has meant the world to me, the way you invited me into your home, your lives. I will cherish every memory and wish you a lifetime of love and happiness. I have to leave now, maybe I will see you again one day.
With love,
Charles James
P.S. If you follow the map you will find your Christmas present.
"Should we really go before breakfast?" Nan asked.
"I don't know about you, but I won't be able to eat until we've done this", I said, and mum and dad nodded.
We got dressed quickly and then all of us squeezed ourselves into two cars and drove where the map showed us. We had to walk the last part and where it was marked with a cross, we found ourselves by the pond. Something had changed though. By the waterside, a wooden bench stood. It was beautiful, smooth, polished wood, obviously hand crafted and it had a twirling inscription; "Where the magic begins."
"We've always said the only thing missing here was something to sit on", dad said.
"Our magic place, he made it even better", mum said with tearful eyes.
"Has he made this by himself? He must have put in so many hours."
On the seat another envelope was placed, on the outside of this one it said; "To Molly".
How my heart was beating as I opened it, desperately hoping it would give me some clue to his whereabouts. Out of the envelope fell a card. A card someone had made themself, not very skilfully I thought and then realised it was the card I had made over a year ago and sent to some unknown soldier. How could it be here? I could not make the pieces of the puzzle fit, so I read the letter that came with it.
Snowhaven, Dec 24, 2014
Dear Molly,
I have fallen in love with you twice now. Once when this beautiful girl stole my crispy curly fries, and the first time when an unknown woman sent me this card and the loveliest letter I have ever read. You have no idea what that letter has meant to me. I have read it more times than I can count, and it literally saved my life because I had it, you, with me in my darkest hours. Thinking of you, imagining what you were doing in your little village, kept me going when days were hard. When I was in despair, I shared it with you even if you never knew. Finally, I could not resist coming to see you and the village, and it was everything I could have dreamed of. So, I fell in love a second time, with Snowhaven and its people, with your family, but most of all with you.
I'm sorry, I had to leave the church tonight because I cannot take this anymore and I will be gone when you wake up tomorrow morning. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye. It is not because I want to hurt you, I never would. It is because I cannot keep hurting myself more and I will if I stay.
I want to thank you for showing me how amazing love can make me feel. I hope all your dreams come true.
I love you.
Charles
When I finished reading I looked up at the others.
"So, this card brought him to Snowhaven?"
"No, you did."
"Did you know dad?"
"He told me, but he was afraid to scare you off if he told you before you knew him. Was afraid you might take him for a stalker."
I could not help giggling because Charles was the least stalker-like person I could imagine.
"Dad, I need to find him. What should I do?"
"I have an idea."
Charles
I left Snowhaven with a heavy heart, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Now that Molly had made her choice, no matter how bad I thought her judgment was in in this case, it was for the better if I left her and Smurf to lead their lives in peace and tried to move on with my own. Despite my sadness, I felt so much lighter than when I had set out on this road trip. It felt like a life-time ago. Molly and her family had shown me I was able to feel happiness again after Elvis' death and nothing would take that away.
There was one thing I wanted to do before I left the neighbourhood. Dave had shown me a photo of a nearby waterfall and told me there was a memorial place for British soldiers. It seemed fitting to go there and reminisce Elvis on a day like this.
The photo had not done the place justice and it turned out to be even more beautiful in real life. The water was not frozen despite the minus degrees and it was cascading down, wild and dark but tantalizing. There was a bridge over the water, where one could stand watching the scenery and there was a brass sign with an inscription.
This bridge is dedicated to those brave men and women who served the British Army abroad and never returned home.
I let my fingers graze over the surface and then gazed out over the water masses and talked to Elvis.
"You were right, mate, when you said I one day would fall in love like you had with Georgie. I met this amazing girl, woman... The one thing I want is to be with her. Too bad she was already taken, by a guy named Smurf. I'm not kidding! He doesn't deserve her, and I don't say that only because I'm jealous, but he really is a price asshole. Even her family thinks so. I can't believe she doesn't see it, but they've been together since they were teenagers so maybe one is more forgiving, or blind, then. I know you would be asking me how the bloody hell I can leave her to him and... I don't know. I honestly don't know. I thought leaving was the noble thing to do when they got engaged, but now when I'm standing here talking to you I don't feel as certain anymore. Her dad thought I should stay and fight for her. Was I wrong not to? Yeah, I now you would tell me I made a mistake, that I should go back. Go get your girl you would say. God, Elvis I miss you! I'm obviously not capable of making the right decisions when I don't have you to juggle with. You never thought you would hear me say that, did you? But I admit, you had your moments of wisdom. I miss you like hell Elvis. I would give anything to see you again."
I went quiet, felt I had said everything that needed to be said. Like with any good friend, silence was always comfortable between us. Like it was with Molly too. I should go back to her. Tell her straight out I loved her and thought she was making a mistake when she chose Smurf. If I did not tell her she would not even have the chance to choose me. Maybe she would not anyway but I should not run without trying. One hasto play to win. Of course, she would now my feelings already by now. My letter had told her everything. I wondered what she had felt when she read it.
My thoughts were interrupted by a familiar and very welcome voice.
"Captain James, didn't you forget something?"
I looked up and there Molly was standing, smiling at me.
I let go of the railing and turned to her, smiled back so big that my lips nearly met at the back of my head.
"And what would that be?"
"Saying goodbye properly, to me."
She took a step closer.
"You never struck me as very formal."
I took a step closer to her.
"I swear if you ever leave Snowhaven again without saying goodbye to m..."
I had taken a last step towards her, reached out and pulled her to me and bent my head so I nearly touched her lips but stopped a few millimiters apart with my eyes fixed to hers. I did not care about Smurf and what had happened to him. She was here, it must mean that she had chosen me but I wanted her to show me, wanted to be sure. She proved me right when she put her arms around my neck, pressed herself closer to me and let her lips touch mine in an all consuming kiss until I knew nothing else for a long time.
Finally we let go slightly and I felt her lips smiling against mine with the same joy I felt and she whispered;
"I love you. Will you now please come back and celebrate Christmas with us, you prannet? I'm not sure dad will forgive me otherwise, he thinks I was chasing you away."
She nibbled my lower lip, half driving me mad.
"I was already thinking about turning back actually and if you continue with that I've no choice."
"What? This?" She nibbled my lip again. "I've wanted to do that since I first saw you. I knew that a man who had such great taste in food must be delicious to kiss."
"Is that so? Then you had better kiss me again and I'll adore you for always."
"Always?" She gave me a coy smile.
"Always."
We kissed again and I was so happy my heart threatened to burst. She had given me the best Christmas gift anyone could ever give me.
A/N: This is the end of this story as far as it is inspired by 'The Christmas card', but there might be an epilogue to explore what happens after this.
If nothing more gets posted before tomorrow evening (New Year's Eve), I wish you a Happy New Year. This was the year I discovered fanfiction and writing for You really adds a silver lining to my life. I just love fanfic and the way it allows changing any story like I want to, which usually means a larger portion of romance and a HEA because I'm a sucker for that. All the best wishes for 2019!
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