A/N: Thanks for all the kind reviews to this story, I needed that more than usual. Not because life is bad (even if my three-year-old is currently pushing my patience to the limit) but I really have not been successful in writing the last days. I had intended to return to my other story, but it just won't come to me. Instead an idea for a different one popped up which is always dangerous because it's so tempting to write it down immediately. I will go back to '25 days…', just have to find it first. Might have to read it from start to current finish, which I normally never do. I have not read any of my finished stories actually, I guess I'm afraid that in retrospect I'll find them inadequate and want to take them down. Anyway, enough of self-doubt and in the meantime an epilogue to this one.
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Epilogue
I was almost a bit nervous to return to the Dawses after my grand exit, but I had not needed to be. They were thrilled to see me again, that Molly had found me and convinced me to return. Even more thrilled that we now were a couple, which was obvious to everyone as soon as we got inside the door and Molly took my hand.
"Look who I have with me!" and they all came hugging us.
This was my best Christmas Day ever, up to then at least. My parents called from Italy, worried I might be sitting alone in the big house in Bath, drinking and grieving Elvis and they were happy to learn that instead I was in a village called Snowhaven, celebrating with the large, noisy family of my new girlfriend. I could almost hear from mum's voice that her eyes were filled with tears of joy.
After eggnog, turkey, mince pies, and candy enough to deck a grown man in a sugar induced coma, we played board games and relaxed in front of the fire. Molly and I were never far apart during the day, the novelty of being allowed to touch each other too wonderful. When it finally was time to go to bed, I headed to the guest room where I had stayed before and reluctantly kissed Molly good night. I did not want to part but I would not presume we would share bed on our first evening together, especially not under her parents' roof. She kissed me back with a mischievous smile and went to her room but ten minutes later there was a light knock on my door. Unlike the last time she had come here, she was now dressed in pajamas. A flannel one in plaid pattern and normally not the sexiest garment, but on her it was a whole different thing, especially as she still had the mischievous smile on her face, closing the door behind her. Very sexy if you ask me.
"As much as I love to see you again, what are you doing here?"
"You don't want me here?"
"More than anything! But your parents, are they fine with it?"
"I didn't plan to announce it to everyone, but yes, I know they don't mind."
"Smurf didn't sleep here?"
"That's only because I didn't want him to lately. I'm born six months after mum and dad got married so they've never been able to keep presences up and I don't think they care either."
"Come here then."
I patted the bed beside me and she rushed over and nearly jumped into it like a frisky puppy, making me laugh. I could not quite believe she was here in my bed and all I wanted was to lay her down in it. There was something I had to say to her before I felt right about spending the night together, though. In one aspect I would not be able to be better than Smurf and I wanted to be honest about that. The easy choice for now would have been to ignore it, but I wanted this to be something lasting and then I could not avoid bringing it up.
"Molly... there's one thing I want to talk about up front."
We were both of us sitting cross-legged, facing each other and I took her hands, entwined my fingers with hers.
"I had something else in mind than talking, but if you insist."
"Do you realise that my job means I won't be able to be here all the time? In that way I'm like Smurf. I will go on tour sooner or later, sometimes I might be gone for six months."
I could see in her face that she had not considered this, which was not strange as we, us, was a brand new phenomenon.
"The difference is I want to be here, I can see myself living here in Snowhaven and I want to be with you more than anything, but my job will sometimes take me away. I don't want to start this, and you feel I've hidden from you that I have to leave."
"But you want to come back?"
"Always."
She seemed to be taking it in, thinking about what it would mean to her.
"Thanks for telling me."
"How do you feel about it?"
My heart was thumping with anxiety, what if she said 'no thanks, this is not for me'?
"Honestly, I hadn't had time to think about it, not thought much about that it's part of a soldier's life to go away and maybe even get injured. Of course, it's not ideal, not what I would have chosen…"
My anxiety grew to a hard knot in my stomach.
"But I don't really have a choice because I want to be with you, more than anything and knowing you want to be with me too is what matters. I'll probably hate it when you leave but I suppose I have to take the good with the bad."
"I'll do my best to make it very good when I'm here", I reassured her and pulled her to me, up on my lap, feeling allowed to now that we had talked about this.
"Then I have quite a few ideas", she smirked.
"You do?"
"Mmmmm..."
Her lips were touching mine, making my skin prickle of the sensation. Kissing her was possibly the most amazing, thrilling experience I had had for years, or ever, now suddenly further enhanced as her hands found my bare chest and started trailing paths on my skin, going further and further down.
"I was wondering when I was in here yesterday if you were sleeping in trunks or naked."
"Is that so? I thought you were busy telling me about your engagement?"
"I was a bit unfocussed, suppose that's why the whole engagement thing did not work out."
"Anyway, I think it's time we get you out of this pyjama too and then you can find out about my trunks."
My hands found their way under the harmless flannel garment and I heard her gasp when I touched the skin at the dip of her waist.
"I'm ticklish", she laughed, then stretched her arms above her head so I could pull it off and she sat half naked in in front of me, the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.
At some other point I would use this ticklishness for sure, but now that was not want I wanted and I just pulled her closer to me, to feel her naked skin to mine and kissed her again.
Snowhaven, Christmas 2015
Molly
Charles has been away on tour for four months, on a humanitarian mission in Kenya. It is the longest we have been apart, and I've missed him like hell. I have written to him and there has been the occasional letter from him, and in between the snail mail deliveries we have been able to e-mail, send text messages and even call every now and then. He has told me that this is very different from the possibilities to stay in contact with family they had when he was in Afghanistan, because they were in an actual war zone then. I'm glad we had not met yet then because I'm not sure how I would have handled it. Even now my body aches of longing for him. I never knew it was possible to miss someone in such a physical way before, I never did with Smurf. With Charles it is like every fibre of my body is drawn to some distant point down south in Africa, a bit like you see flowers grow in the direction of sunlight. Even though this makes it hard to be apart, it is also what makes me sure that he is the one for me. The way I miss him, I feel certain this is right, that it is him I'm supposed to be with for always.
I'm back here in Snowhaven for Christmas and he will come home in a few days too, but otherwise we live in Bath these days. Not permanently, but while I'm studying to be a nurse. Charles encouraged me to take the jump and study to be what I have dreamed of and I started this autumn. We live in his parents' crazy big house. They are not there most of the time and when they are, they are the sweetest people one can imagine. This Christmas they are not abroad like they use to otherwise and will come here to celebrate with us and my family.
We have agreed that we will decide where to live once I have completed my studies. Charles can imagine living here, but the thing is that I, who never thought I would want to leave this place, now that I have him can imagine living pretty much anywhere. It is like anywhere with him is home. It is strange how one person can change you without even trying to change you. Smurf tried to change me the whole time and never managed, but it was because he was not the right one. I have a feeling Charles is willing to change things for me too. He has mentioned he might transfer to another role, so he will not have to go on tour, or maybe even leave the army. I will not push him, but of course I would love it. Especially if we have kids one day, not that we have talked much about it yet.
My mobile buzzes, Charles name lighting up the display.
"Hi, love."
"Hi", I hear how ridiculously happy my voice sounds but know it will only make him happy too.
"What are you up too?"
"Just loitering, going to the pub later. You?"
"I've been overseeing our medic giving inoculations to some Kenyan children."
I guess he won the competition of who has been most useful today. My amazing boyfriend.
"I'm afraid I'll have to make you disappointed…"
It feels like someone has thrown a bucket of ice-cold water over me, suddenly I know he will say he will not be able to come home over Christmas. This was not just a social call.
"…I won't be there in two days.
I take a deep breath, knowing he will be even more disappointed than I so I must try to act maturely not to make him even sadder. I'm interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing and I'm the only one home, so I have to go open.
"Molly? You went all quiet?"
"Sorry, I'm here, just didn't know what to say and someone's calling on the door so I'm heading downstairs to open…"
"I'm sorry, Molly…."
With disappointment pulsating through my body, I open the front door and there he stands, mobile to his ear and with a cheeky grin on his face. My jaw drops, and he puts away the phone in his coat pocket.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't wait another two days."
"You bastard, do you know how disappointed…" but I interrupt myself to throw myself into his arms. I hold on to the rough fabric of his coat, cold and slightly damp from the falling snow. He wraps his arms around me and presses his lips to my forehead. I'm trying to grasp this is reality, must feel him, before I can even kiss him.
"Are you real or is this a Christmas dream?"
"I'm real, I promise. Are you? I've been day dreaming about you so much when I was away that I'm not sure either."
"I'm real too."
When I have not seen him for a while, I'm always struck by how gorgeous he is, especially in his uniform. Somehow, I'm also always surprised how good a kisser he is. Not that I don't remember that he is good, yet the reality is even better. Now he murmurs to my mouth.
"Did you say that you're home alone?"
"Yes."
"Great, then there's no one here to see us". He scoops me up, kicks the door closed and carries me up the stairs and whispers with his lips to my neck;
"I can't wait to show you how much I've missed you."
Charles
She has fallen asleep next to me. It is only in the afternoon, but I guess we exhausted each other, I'm just too happy to be back here with her to fall asleep. Love to take in that I'm lying here beside her again. If I'm honest I'm also feeling giddy and a tad nervous about what I'm planning to ask her this Christmas. Tucked in my Bergen there is a small box with a circular content, which I picked up from the jeweler's shop where I ordered it already before I left for my tour. I was thinking if I should wait until New Year, considering Smurf proposed to her right before Christmas next year, but now I do not know if I'm able too. If I wait I will probably be acting weird all Christmas, making her think something is wrong instead and I do not want that. Maybe I should just pop the question when she wakes up. The more I think of it the more I like the idea. No drama, just her and me. Yes, I will do that.
Now that I have made that decision, I'm able to relax and just watch her eyelashes flutter as she sleeps, the woman I love more than anything.
THE END