Event Horizon
He'd trailed Kenren what seemed like halfway across the Galaxy by this point, following one lead after another and burning through an impressive amount of fuel, spatial distance, military SpaceParMiles points, and paid time off in the process. What he had to show for it was...yet another contact, actually, pointing him in the direction of yet another remote outpost, with the sort of confidence that means either that she was reasonably certain or that she was lying her head off. It said something that his reaction to receiving a clear hint at this point was to be immediately suspicious that it was a red herring, but Kenren's contacts were turning out to be insanely loyal, and it was certainly good to know that he could inspire that in people. It made Goujun feel like less of a fool, or at least less alone in acting like one. So there he was, sitting on a folding cot that was (aside from the also-folding chair and desk) the only piece of furniture in his ambitiously-named "hotel room" on the ocean floor of a mining outpost on Seleum, waiting for the contact that the contact had promised and, hopefully, waiting to see Kenren.
Goujun looked up sharply at the knock on the door, but it...was the wrong knock. He sighed, shaking his head and standing up, heading for the door. There was no peep-hole, no screen, no way of telling who was on the other side but to open it. When he did, he found a startlingly tall man on the other side. After a fruitlessly expectant moment Goujun ventured slowly, "Yes...?"
The tall man regarded him somewhat suspiciously, then looked both ways down the hall before he leaned down, and Goujun caught sight of the device in his hand just as he pushed a button on it. One second of pure panic, and then white noise enveloped them as the tall man spoke low in his ear, "You are Goujun?"
Goujun nodded, frowning. "I am, yes." He held out his wrist n an offer to scan his military bracelet for confirmation, but the tall man looked at it like he'd never seen one before, so dropped it again. "And you are?"
The man shook his head. "I have been sent to give you this." He held out a small, folded piece of paper. "And to tell you to follow it exactly. Do not go where you're not invited. Be careful." He pressed the paper into Goujun's hand. He released the button and the covering noise died as he turned, already leaving before Goujun could begin to ask him anything else.
Bemused, Goujun stared down at the paper for a long moment before retreating into his room with it. No one had proactively contacted him before now, save that one woman who had told him to fuck off if he ever expected her to rat Kenren out (which was appreciated, if wholly misguided). That seemed like a good sign. Maybe. He carefully unfolded the paper, his breath catching in his chest as he studied the instructions written on it. He sighed as he moved to get his jacket and his room key. This was going to take a while.
Two hours and three disreputable establishments later, Goujun stood in front of the unassuming door of the specific address that had come attached to the very particular - and particularly expensive - bottle of brandy he had been instructed to purchase. Knocking on the door eventually produced a very small, very old woman (why were so many of Kenren's contacts tiny old ladies?) who led him to a large back room with no windows, sparsely furnished with a single table and two chairs. Well, that second chair was encouraging. Or possibly he'd just been so worn down by this chase that he was starting to delude himself. He put the brandy down on the table next to the ashtray (another good sign) and settled in to wait.
Kenren looked up when Idora's voice crackled over the intercom in the wall of the room to tell him that his supper was ready. Which, of course, was code for 'the idiot soldier who won't stop chasing you has finally turned up'. He stood, repressing the odd fluttering in his stomach and the suddenly weirdly strong need to see the idiot soldier's face as he stepped out and headed down the close halls to the drop tube that would take him down to the 'holding' room where Idora had left Goujun to wait.
At the bottom of the ladder, Kenren pressed a button to open a concealed panel in the wall and took a step out, ready to duck. Goujun whirled on him, eyes wide and bright, weapon drawn, but there was no fucking way in hell Goujun would ever even accidentally shoot him, and Kenren had a point to make. He strode past as Goujun moved to lower his weapon and spoke in a low, wary voice. "Kenren."
Kenren had been thinking about how this was going to go as he waited for Goujun to jump through his hoops. A thousand scenarios had tripped through his mind over the day, but now he knew exactly what he had to do. Kenren felt his body loosening a little as he turned to face his former handler. "What the fuck are you doing here, Goujun?"
It took a moment for several reactions to pass visibly over Goujun's face as he made his way, finally, to one Kenren knew very well, indeed. "Tracking down an officer who's absent from duty without leave, apparently."
"Looking to get your ass handed to you in thirty-eight pieces, is what it looks like from here," Kenren shot back, ignoring Goujun's fury; he wasn't Kenren's C.O. anymore, after all. Out here, he was just another guy with worry carving itself into the lines around his mouth and eyes, tired and older-looking even in the five months or so since they'd last seen each other. Maybe he should have sent a message, somehow. It wasn't like there weren't people who did that kind of thing, and certainly not like Kenren didn't know of about eight of them off the top of his head. But then, it hadn't been sending he'd needed to be concerned about, he reminded himself. It was the reception that was the problem, and he couldn't - couldn't - take the chance that he would compromise Goujun's position or career...or safety.
Goujun bristled visibly for that. "I rather think you have the two of us confused, Kenren."
Shaking his head, Kenren barked a laugh. " Do you have any fucking idea where you are? I've been here before. You're putting your neck pretty fucking literally on the line, chasing me. You need to back off, Goujun. Go home." Seriously, the guy had to have figured out how dangerous a place like this was, out on the edge of anything anyone cared about, an old mining colony past its prime and now under the control of forces that could most politely be described as 'shadowy'. Kenren was vaguely surprised that the place hadn't just physically rejected the upright Goujun when he tried to land, actually.
There was somehow even more bristling from Goujun as he holstered his weapon, and he snapped back, " I do have a fucking idea where I am, thank you. And I'm exquisitely aware of the fact that I have gone to no small lengths to track you down. Would you mind explaining exactly what you're thinking, running away from an active mission?"
Kenren took a moment to be impressed at Goujun's uncharacteristic language, then laughed again. "Wasted effort, if this is the best you can do." He didn't want to answer that last question, because he would have to either lie to Goujun or tell him the truth, neither of which appealed to him. There was only one way to keep Goujun safe, and he'd been trying to do that. It would have been a lot easier if the fucker could manage to restrain himself. But here he was, months after Kenren had disappeared on him, tired and obviously worn thin, looking at Kenren with barely disguised relief in every line of his body. Kenren crushed a sudden desire to reach out to touch him, to remind himself of the texture of that pale skin; he wanted to, but he couldn't weaken. Not now.
"Answer the question, or I'll be forced to attempt to apprehend you, which - since I don't think you did what they said you did - would be entirely counterproductive on your part."
Kenren could hear the razor-edge in his own voice as he answered quietly, "You can try. Sir."
A deep sound that Kenren would nearly classify as a growl slid from Goujun for that, familiar and tempting. "We both know you want to tell me, or you wouldn't have reached out proactively."
He wasn't wrong, and Kenren wasn't interested in pretending that he was, so he moved past, asking instead of answering, "So you know you weren't actually tailing me, then."
Goujun heaved a long-suffering sigh. "I know your skills of evasion are objectively greater than mine at tracking, yes."
For Goujun's sake, Kenren tried not to look too pleased at that admission, but failed, a lopsided little grin tugging at his mouth. "Good, so then you also know that when I leave here, keeping on with it is just going to get you killed. I can't keep protecting you forever."
Kenren could have sworn he actually heard Goujun's control snap.
"Protecting me?"
"Fucking right, protecting you. You made it this far because I had eyes on you."
Narrowed grey eyes regarded Kenren coldly. "Explain," Goujun snapped, and it was Kenren's turn to bristle at the command even as he began speaking.
"You have this problem, Goujun, where you think everybody's going to come at you head-on. Battle, you understand. Out here, though...honourable combat'll get you diced. All those people you talked to about me? They're my people, and they were watching out for you because I told them to. Someone's had your back pretty much since you left the station. I got wind after you were on the Artemis. You had a shadow while you were on the Odysseus, and ever since."
"And if that's true, that's still because you ran off without so much as a message as to why," Goujun fired back.
"Leaving without telling is the fucking point of running away, for fuck's sake."
Another little half-growl fell from Goujun as he fixed Kenren with a pointed glare. "And why did you decide to do that, exactly?"
"Because I pretty much like my head where it is, and my body unperforated."
"Going AWOL wouldn't seem to lower your chances of that," Goujun explained, and Kenren couldn't help but grin at it, bright and brittle as glass, though his voice was low and sharp.
"Everything is lower than a hundred percent, and I'm still alive right now, aren't I?"
That seemed to get through to Goujun, and he stopped dead, antagonism draining away as it sank in. "You can't possibly be implying that the military would kill you."
Kenren's laugh was loud and hollow. "Who's fucking implying?"
One step closer, Goujun frowned at him, quieter, now, serious in the way Kenren knew from so many conversations and debriefings. "What did you mean by it, then?"
"I mean that if they catch me, they will make me disappear in the densest fucking way possible, never to be seen or heard from again."
Quietly, several things warring audibly in Goujun's voice, "And why wouldn't you have told me if you were in that much danger?"
Kenren shook his head, unable to believe that Goujun could ask him that. "Didn't you just ask me, like I was crazy, if I could possibly think the military was going to kill me?" Kenren watched with something like horrified amusement as Goujun had the brass balls to look offended.
"I would take such a suggestion more seriously if it weren't being brought up four months after your disappearance, yes," he said sharply, "but I'm not not listening now."
It never ceased to amaze Kenren, how much better than they really were Goujun expected everyone to be. Even himself. Certainly Kenren. And that was exactly the problem. "No, you wouldn't have," Kenren corrected, not ungently. "Not really. Problem with you, Goujun, is that you have integrity, and you expect everyone else to, too. But, see...you're the odd man out, there. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you'd fight to the death for me. I couldn't let you have to."
There was an automatic edge to Goujun's tone as he responded, "Of course I would, I-" He stopped, frowning weirdly slow at Kenren. "...you knew that."
"Of course I knew that!" Kenren snapped. "You spent three years teaching me to know that! What the fuck?"
Goujun threw up his hands - or tried to, since he was still gripping the bottle in one of them, huffing loudly at him. "If you didn't have a reputation for being stubborn and contrarian and disliking authority on principle, maybe I wouldn't be surprised!"
"Well," Kenren fired back, frustrated, "I guess I was the only one talking to a person instead of a fucking reputation."
"You have complained about every single person of your rank or higher of our mutual acquaintance, and at least two dozen others I've never so much as met, in the time I have known you!"
Kenren's voice returned to normal volume, but there was a hiss in it he couldn't quite disguise as he pointed out, "And not one of them is you." Goujun's mouth closed, his gaze softening, and there was a long moment of wounded, slightly confused silence between them before a soft, sheepish 'oh' sound fell from him. Kenren shook his head as he turned away. "You're the most upright son of a bitch I ever met, but I guess that doesn't extend this far. I won't make that mistake again." His chest tight, he headed for the door he came in by. He needed a smoke. And about thirty drinks, thanks. He should have known better.
He could hear shifting behind him, movement, and he was nearly at the door by the time Goujun managed to speak. "-wait! I want to understand. Please." Kenren stopped, because that, he didn't expect. Not now. Not after all they'd just said. He turned around again, fixing Goujun with a long, cool look.
"You want me to trust you."
"I do." Goujun bit the inside of his cheek, watching Kenren carefully. "I think you do. Or you'd never let me find you."
"I did," Kenren corrected flatly. "And you didn't find me."
Goujun took the correction calmly, barely a visible sign that it bothered him at all. "You led me to you. I'm not under the impression that I could have, otherwise."
It was clear that Goujun was going to keep either misunderstanding or just Not Hearing what Kenren was trying to tell him, there, but in the end, given how things were going, it was no more than an annoyance he'd replay a thousand times or so. Nothing to worry about. He waved it off.
"I know you would never abandon your mission," Goujun went on. "Or sell secrets, or destroy or steal government property, no matter what they told me. You're not that man." a note of urgency gilded Goujun's voice. "You're a good man."
Ah, fuck, that hurt. "Good men sometimes have to do things people don't like."
For once, Goujun held himself in check, restraining himself to one quiet question: "What did you do?"
"What did they tell you?" Kenren didn't exactly know that the story was, or had become, since he had take the kid they'd nicknamed Goku to Tenpou and Konzen. He didn't want to have to talk around things that didn't need it, and like fuck he was just going to trust Goujun with extra information at this point either. It was safer for both of them that way, he told himself, ignoring the lingering hurt.
Visibly relaxing a little bit when Kenren turned to fully face him again, Goujun sighed softly. "What I knew immediately were lies. That you'd found evidence in an ongoing military case, and that you'd elected to steal it and sell it to the highest bidder."
Kenren had to smile a little bit for the obfuscation there. "Did they tell you what it was?"
Sounding slightly offended even now, Goujun answered, "I wasn't authorised to know. Which, considering the mission you were on…" Goujun swallowed, going on more quietly, "You found a weapon, I'd thought. One so terrible they couldn't have it. It was the only thing I could think of that would make you run."
After considering that for a moment and weighing what to say, Kenren nodded and said, "That's close enough."
Finally thinking to set the bottle down on the table, Goujun shrugged. "I knew then. I'd have to at least try and help, if I possibly could. If they'd decided to abandon you, I wasn't going to join them."
"I was an easy loss for them to take, don't worry," Kenren said wryly. "So you kicked up a dust trail across two systems trying to help me?"
"I was trying to find out what happened. To help, if I possibly could." He suddenly looked even more tired, weariness and the aftermath of fear weighing his shoulders down. Once again, Kenren had to stop himself reaching for him as he went on. "All I knew was that you were alone and in danger."
One corner of Kenren's mouth curled up at that. "I'm always alone, and in danger is pretty much my cruising speed." He added, more seriously, "Thing is, though...They're after me for a reason. I'm not innocent, Goujun. You need to know that.
"Are you guilty of anything unethical?" The disbelief in Goujun's tone eased a little of Kenren's hurt and suspicion. He shook his head.
"No."
Goujun nodded firmly, strength returning to his voice. "That's what I thought."
Kenren nodded, even gave Goujun a little smile. "Right. It's all a done deal, and now I just have to keep my ass out of the sling, and everything'll be fine." It wouldn't be, though. He could feel things sliding into place in his mind, puzzling out the whole picture, now that he'd met with Goujun. Now he knew for sure that Kenren was alive and that he'd definitely committed a crime. He also had at least one good place to start looking again, later. Or for them to. Fuck.
"I can help with that," Goujun said quietly, a thread of resolve in the centre of his words. "Create false leads. Claim I've received information that guides them away from you."
A wave of warmth and not a little tenderness washed through Kenren for Goujun's offer, for the fact that he really would try even without knowing what Kenren had actually done. It was suicidally trusting, and probably the greatest compliment Kenren had ever been given. The way Goujun looked at him then told him it was real, that Kenren hadn't been alone in that, after all. Still, though, Goujun wasn't cut out for this kind of thing, and leaving him to his own devices, isolated as cover (at least until Kenren could manage to build a network around him, which would take a lot longer from hiding) and actively lying to the army, didn't seem like the best idea either of them ever had. Gently, Kenren asked, "Think you could manage that? Integrity, remember?" It sounded like an insult, but Kenren had to trust that Goujun would understand.
"I would do it, for the right thing," Goujun answered, and his gaze was as steady as his voice. Kenren had never heard him sound quite like that. It reminded him why he'd let Goujun get close in the first place.
"Couldn't stay put for it, though."
"Staying put and doing nothing wasn't right." That cool grey gaze held Kenren's own, and the certainty in it was undeniable. And new. Goujun had always been the one to follow the rules, but - as Kenren had come to know, and was being reminded even now - not out of weakness, as some men do. He really believed in the structure and that systems could work. Thing was, this one didn't and wouldn't, and now Goujun was just as ready to stand against it as he had been for it. Kenren was both impressed and not a little exasperated by that. They'd had so many throwdowns over the years...
"It meant I didn't have to worry about you, too," he said.
Goujun frowned at him slightly. "I didn't-" he started, then slumped a little bit.
Moving past Goujun to the table and the bottle on it, Kenren said, "Well, done is done. You're here now." A little of his own reckless pleasure coloured Kenren's voice, and he chided himself for letting that happen. He was supposed to be making Goujun want to leave, and to leave Kenren alone. Several things were becoming evident, however, and Kenren didn't like any of them. He opened the bottle of brandy, realised that Idora hadn't taken the booze into account, shrugged, and took a deep swig from the bottle.
"The brandy was when I knew I would be able to actually meet you," Goujun's said, his voice a little weak. Kenren hated hearing it. Goujun wasn't uncertain like that, and it gave him a little pang to be the one to have made it happen. Not that he'd never thought that Goujun could do with a reality check now and then, but this was...different.
He gave Goujun a little smile - more like his habitual smirk, actually - and nodded. "I knew you'd get the message." Another swig, and Kenren reached into his pocket for his cigarettes. It felt like a lifetime since he stepped into this room and out of reality, and he needed to think. He put the bottle down on the table and lit up, settling on one of the little chairs and putting the bottle back on the table in invitation to Goujun. Eyes closed, Kenren leaned and let his head fall back, spinning his mind out over the situation and the possibilities. He could practically feel Goujun watching him.
"I know."
Kenren frowned as he lifted his head, stretched his neck left and right, and he looked up at Goujun, one eye still closed against the smoke from his cigarette. "Hmm?"
Goujun smiled a little, his expression much softer now it had been since Kenren came in. More like it had been the last time they met. "Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I've missed our talks."
"Yeah," Kenren sighed, plucking the smoke from his mouth, "Me, too." He watched Goujun move toward the table, perch on the other chair, and reach for the bottle. For one second, it felt like it used to, as if they might just be sitting at some bar, like they had before.
"They're going to throw everything they have at neutralising you," Goujun ventured, and took a drink. "I knew that the second they took me into interrogation." Kenren could hear the strain and exhaustion in Goujun's voice, and his stomach tightened.
Nodding as he took another drag, Kenren scrubbed at the back of his head. They must have picked Goujun up immediately; he'd been off the station within a week of Kenren's disappearing act. "I know. They want me dead. Gone's not good enough."
Goujun looked at Kenren for what felt like a very long time before he huffed a sigh, some of his old annoyance returning in it, like an old friend. "What did you do?"
Carefully, still not sure of his plans, Kenren said, "I stole something, like they said."
There was an edge of something - sadness? hurt? - in Goujun's voice as he accepted that. "You said, yes."
"The selling part's a lie, though. I wouldn't, ever."
Goujun accepted that, too. "I know. That would have convinced me, even if the rest hadn't."
Kenren took a long moment to look Goujun over, reassessing, gauging. Eventually, he offered one small truth, quietly. "It could end the war." Goujun's brows rose for that, though he said nothing, obviously waiting for Kenren to finish taking a belt of brandy before moving on. "Maybe just end it, though. But they want to win."
A loud silence fell between them, Kenren watching Goujun carefully, assessing his reactions - he wouldn't have been good at his job if he couldn't do that well - and tucking them away for future reference. A slow exhale broke the silence before Goujun's voice did. "While I can't deny the attraction of that, I wouldn't want it at the cost of further loss of life." He seemed to consider for a moment and then, sounding slightly surprised, added, "On either side." None of his usual tells manifested, to Kenren's relief.
"This thing…" Kenren started, then took a drag of his smoke while he gathered words, looking for the right ones to make Goujun understand, "it might not stop it. Might win it for us, might not. I can't tell yet. But I couldn't let them have it, not with what they'd do." The image of the Goku's huge eyes and goofy grin rose in his mind. He remembered the scars, though, too, and the wary trust Goku had given him, knowing that whatever was coming for him was going to be bad, and believing that Kenren wasn't a part of that. Just the thought made him shiver. Goose on his grave, as his mom used to say, and...maybe so. Just maybe.
Goujun was quiet for a long moment, just watching while Kenren fell into that momentary reverie. Maybe he was assessing, too. That would be fair. "Then," he said quietly, "you're looking into using this...information, or tool, or…" he made a vague gesture with his hands, "to stop the war, yes?"
A thin stream of smoke raced and billowed in the indirect light of the room as Kenren nodded. "It's safe now. Got some people looking into it."
"Good people?"
Kenen couldn't help but grin for that question, a hundred compromising memories of Tenpou piling up inside his head immediately, along with several of his more amusing arguments with Konzen. "One of them's the only other person I've ever trusted." Honour-among-thieves-style, but Goujun didn't need to hear about that. His personnel file was more than enough ammo all by itself, thanks. Goujun looked intrigued.
"I hadn't thought to hear that from you."
"We used to work together," Kenren shrugged. "Smartest bastard I ever met. Bioengineer."
The frown on Goujun for that was almost comical. "When did you ever work with a bioengineer?"
Kenren shrugged one shoulder, now, grinning more. "It was more like 'near' than 'with', but we got on."
"It didn't think you actually got on with most people," Goujun said, a slightly sharp edge on the words.
Leaning back and giving Goujun an annoyed look, Kenren shot back, "Hey, I'm personable."
"But you don't get along with them because you're being yourself." Goujun frowned, peering at Kenren with narrowed eyes. "I...you're a very private person."
That struck deep, and Kenren remained silent for a long moment, adjusting to that, pushing back his first response and forming something more...diplomatic. "That doesn't mean I'm not me with people." There were a lot of things under those words, Kenren waiting to see if Goujun understood. He wasn't about to do more; the finer the line, the deeper the possible lacerations, after all.
"Thank you for telling me," Goujun offered, more quietly and gently, soothing his uncertainty a little. Kenren reached for the bottle again, needing that and his smoke for this conversation.
"Better believe me." The words slipped out on a curl of smoke, ending in the neck of the bottle.
"I do."
There was a simple sincerity in that, settling into Kenren's mind as truth, and he took what felt like his first deep breath since he left. There was so much back then, back there…. He took another swig from the bottle and popped his smoke back into his mouth, leaning back and stretching out one leg as he reached out to pull the ashtray closer. "Anyway, things are in good hands."
Goujun took the bottle when Kenren offered it, the ghost of a smile that Kenren understood hovering at the corners of his mouth. He never got any less pretty, Kenren found himself thinking, not since the first time he'd laid eyes on the man. He looked tired, but not as tired as when Kenren had first come in. Some measure of the Goujun he'd come to know was returning to those fine grey eyes as they rediscovered each other and the ground they had created between them.
Taking the bottle from Kenren again, Goujun drank, the brief wince for the burn of it so familiar to Kenren that it made him ache a little. "And how have you been?" he asked, and Kenren couldn't help but grin and chuckle for the ludicrousness, the sheer inanity of it in this place, after all this time.
"I've been...okay," Kenren answered on a cloud of smoke. "Busy with messages about you looking for me, but apart from that I've pretty much managed to be where they're not."
A rueful little smile lifted the corner of Goujun's mouth. "I hadn't realised I was stirring up that much of a storm."
Kenren waved that off with a sigh; maybe he'd been too hard on Goujun in trying to get him to understand the level of danger in what he had been doing. "My contacts are sharp and quick. You weren't as noticeable as all that to people who weren't looking, but you don't really know how to do this inconspicuously, either."
"Well, I was never supposed to wind up in intelligence."
"Yeah. You're good at the job you do, but there's a reason you were handling me."
Goujun's features twisted into a wry grimace. "Aside from being the sheltered fourth son of a diplomat?"
That level of shit-talk about Goujun wasn't something Kenren was prepared to deal with from anyone, including Goujun. He frowned heavily for it, his voice gaining an edge. "Doesn't fucking matter how you got there. Only that you're good at it. You've got a head for that stuff, and you're ridiculously meticulous."
Trying (and failing) to hide his pleasure in Kenren's defense of him, Goujun made a little sound of acceptance. "You have a point," he said, and took another drink. "I didn't know if you thought I was good at it." Goujun's pale skin was beginning to take on the little flush that drinking inevitably gave him, making even a couple of drinks look like several, by his appearance. Some things, Kenren realised, he hadn't even known he had noticed. It was a strange experience.
"Of course I do," Kenren retorted, as if this had been unavoidably obvious. "You even turned up to keep me out of fights."
"I eventually had ulterior motives for that," Goujun replied with a smile, and Kenren couldn't not return it. He watched his ex-boss over the bottle and through smoke.
"And I had need of it."
That seemed to startle Goujun, eyes wide as he asked, "Did you?" It was an odd reaction to have, from the guy who started it in the first place.
"Of course I did," Kenren went on quietly, fingers picking at the label on the bottle. "New transfer, out on missions constantly, no time to settle in proper…. Life as a one-night stand."
Goujun's voice was warm in a way that Kenren knew, attempting a joke. "I thought you liked one-night stands." The guy always had been just a little too earnest to pull off a confident flirt. Not that that didn't have its charms.
"Part of life," Kenren answered around his smoke, "not the definition of it."
"You seemed to...appreciate my being around, yes." A moment of quiet fell them as Goujun took a drink. It was softer than the last, though it held a lot more in it.
Taking the bottle back when offered, Kenren took a drink, too. Things had been settling in the back of his brain while they talked, and it was beginning to look like there wasn't any reason not to just tell him. "Well, you were never looking to fight me, for a start," he teased with a little grin. It got him an answering smile from Goujun, and for a moment, he looked like they had back home. If 'home' was the right word for it. He hadn't had one in so long he hadn't even noticed that happening. Or maybe that wasn't about the place.
"So it was my pacifism that recommended me?"
Kenren shrugged, still smiling. "Sure, why not?"
Another pregnant silence enveloped them, this one longer and more tense, as Kenren watched Goujun struggle with himself. He wasn't terribly surprised when Goujun finally burst out, "...so you didn't see me as a one-night stand, then?"
"Well, not if you didn't," Kenren said, careful not to put any edges on it that Goujun could misinterpret. He hadn't known what was going to happen between them, but he had thought they would have more time to figure it out. He hadn't meant to leave it (him) hanging like that.
Goujun's expression could only be described by the word 'gaping' his eyes wide, his mouth open. "I wouldn't know how to have a one-night stand," he protested, and Kenren only just avoided snort-choking on a mouthful of brandy.
"Well," Kenren answered helpfully, "you meet someone, you fuck them, and then you don't do it again." He considered that, then amended, "After morning." Thought for a second longer, then, "For a while, anyway."
In all the time they had known each other, Kenren had never seen Goujun blush like he did now, thoroughly scandalised. "It's navigating what goes before having sex and after not doing it again that concerns me," he said, and Kenren grinned hugely, pleased with his effect.
"...Be nice? That's usually how I work it."
Goujun huffed loudly and fixed Kenren with a disapproving eye. "I...see."
Kenren sighed, knowing what Goujun was getting at, what he couldn't bring himself to just ask. "You know I wasn't running from you, right? Not even a little bit of it was that." Sure enough, he could all but hear the tension draining from Goujun's shoulders, leaving the area around his eyes, leaving him looking...quite soft, actually. A little more worn out, though.
"I...hoped so. I knew so, once I found out you were wanted." Goujun's voice rose a little, almost like it was a question, and Kenren nodded.
"Like I said, one of the two whole people I've ever properly trusted. No reason to run."
That seemed to please Goujun, and he brightened a little bit, straightening up, a little more of that tension leaving him as he leaned forward, closer to Kenren. "No reason for me either," he said, smiling. "I trust you, and I...I like you."
Aw, fuck, how was he supposed to resist that? "I like you, too," Kenren answered quietly, "even when I'm winding you up."
"Especially then, you mean," Goujun shot back, and the old brightness was in his eyes.
Kenren flashed his best winning delinquent grin. "Yeah, maybe I do."
"Disorderly to the bone."
"Yeah, I guess I can't hide that," Kenren chuckled, perving on that fairly seriously. Goujun immediately looked like he was on firmer footing again, and it was good to see that.
"You're quite good at hiding things, though," Goujun ventured, turning them back to the issue at hand.
Shrugging, Kenren took the last drag of his smoke and crushed it out in the ashtray, then reached immediately for another. "When I need to." It was an admission, again, his mind running over the possibilities and coming up with an answer he still didn't like. The upshot was that it really did mean there was no more reason to obfuscate.
"I wouldn't argue," Goujun said, "especially since I still haven't heard what the thing you're being chased for even was."
It wasn't as if it was going to matter, and in fact, he could even make an argument to himself that it would make things easier when it came to the crunch, so he sparked up another cigarette and spoke on the exhale. "Remember when I said they found a pilot?"
"Yes?" Goujun's answer was bated.
Kenren nodded for that and plunged ahead. "Well, they did. Only that one's no good, like I told you way back when. No telling if that'll ever change." An encouraging nod from Goujun. "See, but once they knew it was there, then they knew to give the mech pilots orders, so...they got another one. Almost unharmed. Conscious."
Goujun went very, very still for that. "Conscious."
Kenren's lip pressed tightly together for a moment before he continued. "I managed to get access to him."
"I see." There was a hint of concern in Goujun's voice, though he kept it small. Kenren watched him extrapolate, already likely getting to the answer that Kenren hadn't given him yet. "And what did you make of him?"
"He's just a kid, as far as I can tell. Barely old enough to join up, or whatever." Once again, Kenren remembered being that young, his first days as a soldier.
"I assume that's the 'asset' you liberated?"
"You assume right."
Goujun nodded, more certain, now. "And I assume he's with that bioengineer friend of yours, in a carefully undisclosed location that will remain undisclosed."
"Smart man," Kenren grinned, and grabbed the bottle.
"Can he communicate?" Goujun leaned in, as if they might be overheard. "Is he verbal?"
"Oh, he's definitely verbal. Was starting to learn a few words from me before we got there, even. Got a personality like a rubber ball."
"You like him." There was a hint of amused accusation in it.
"Maybe a little," Kenren said, and took a drag of his smoke to cover his smile.
More seriously, Goujun asked, "He's worth the cost of protecting him, then?"
"He might be. If anyone can make that happen, it's the guys I took him to."
Another moment of calculation, Kenren letting Goujun think while he took another drink, the brandy burning a trail of caressing fire down his throat. He'd have to stop soon, though. Not a good idea to compromise his ability to think or move.
"And you're..drawing the fire away from them?
"To some extent, yes. Not that they're that easy to get to, in the first place, though." Kenren could feel his chest loosening as he told Goujun all the things he thought he'd never be able to. Maybe this was going to be it, anyway, but at least Goujun knew what had happened...what was still happening.
"And you're just going to keep running for as long as it takes, aren't you?"
A sharp pang hit his stomach for that. "Fucking right, I am. I got a bioengineer and a fucking linguist after that kid, and they'll get what we need." He took a long drag of his smoke and then added, "Without tearing him open."
Goujun nodded as he took the bottle again. "If we could just find something with which we could end the war..."
"He could," Kenren said fiercely, needing to believe it, too. "They can. They just need time."
A deep crease formed between Goujun's brows, his eyes darting this way and that while he thought, and Kenren hadn't really realised how much he had missed watching Goujun run down possibilities, "And when the time comes, there will be people we can reach out to. I know there's a strong pro-armistice faction in the military. I just haven't made contact, because, well. I'm apolitical." He shrugged a little, with a carelessness Kenren didn't think he'd ever seen on him before. He fixed Goujun with a calculating look.
"How hard will that be?"
"Not very hard. I'm personally acquainted with a couple of them, and I think some others are family friends."
"Can you trust them?" Kenren asked. (Can I trust you?)
Goujun caught and held Kenren's gaze. "I can trust them." More quietly, "And I will maintain your safety, I promise."
Well, that was it, then. Back against the wall, no time left for consideration. He shifted, easy as always, and pulled his gun, pointing it almost casually at Goujun as he plucked the smoke from his mouth. "Yeah, you will."
There was a quiet moment where Kenren watched Goujun register the new situation, looking from Kenren to the gun and then back again. He frowned, and in a low, bemused tone, asked, "What are you doing?"
That was not the expected response. Kenren sighed softly. He'd rather not be doing this, but he needed Goujun to know he was serious. "You've got to come with me."
He really must have been spending too much time with Kenren, because what emerged from Goujun was far more baffled than outraged. "I beg your fucking pardon."
Kenren couldn't not laugh for that, though he was careful not to lower the gun. "Never what I thought I'd get you to beg for, but okay."
"...is this...you're kidnapping me?"
Shrugging, Kenren grinned around his smoke. "I got no choice, now. Alternatively, you could just come with me, but I couldn't bank on you wanting to."
Somehow managing to wrap a sense of incredible offense in a slightly hysterically amused tone, Goujun pointed out, "...wouldn't the logical first point be checking?
"Not with you."
Goujun blinked, then conceded, "...you might be right."
"I need you to get it. I can't let you go back now."
Once again, Kenren gave Goujun time to consider, prepared to watch his thoughts race across his features. He'd also never been one to think placidly. Which was why, Kenren had eventually reasoned out, he rarely allowed anyone to see him do it. Again, why Goujun was a handler and not an operative. He didn't think though, just looked steadily at Kenren and answered, "I know. And I don't want to go back."
Kenren blinked slowly at him, and though he wasn't giving Goujun a choice, he still had to ask, "Are you sure? If you turn on me, I won't hesitate."
"I'm well aware of that." He sounded it.
After waiting a long moment to see if Goujun was going to rethink or take it back, Kenren grinned a bit and put his gun away, though he was braced to move, if need be. Just in case. When Goujun remained still and quiet, Kenren said, "All right, then."
Goujun leaned back deliberately in his chair, arms relaxed, watching Kenren. "You're sure I won't drag you down?"
"I can teach you," Kenren said, and he took a long breath, steadying himself before he added, "I want you with me."
Goujun's colour shifted again, his skin flushing, though his voice was low and quiet, as if they were sharing a secret. "I want that, too. I think that's part of why I left."
"Yeah?" He didn't mean to sound disbelieving. Goujun simply nodded. "...Why?"
That garnered Kenren the slightly exasperated frown he got every time he made Goujun say something he didn't want to. "I seem to have, ah," He cleared his throat. "That is. Grown attached to you."
Well, fuck, he couldn't resist that, now, could he? Smiling rather more softly than usual, Kenren leaned over to put out his smoke, then reached out to curl a hand in Goujun's hair, holding him still and claiming his mouth in a lingering kiss, pleased to feel Goujun's arm around his back, a hand eagerly gripping his jacket.
It took Kenren a while to feel able to break free, and he didn't move very far at all, speaking against Goujun's mouth. "We can talk more about that on my ship."
Goujun smiled, curling a hand around Kenren's neck, teasing, "Your ship?"
"What, you think I can't fly a ship?"
One eyebrow arching, Goujun answered dryly, "I just sorely doubt that you came to own it by legitimate means."
Kenren chuckled low for that, and kissed him again. "Legitimate's relative."