LHM

"You guys are so gross."

Jacy sounded thoroughly disgusted, sitting up to take the coffee cup right out of my hands, a deep gulp before she rubbed hard at her eyes. Her wild hair was especially crazed, and she already looked grumpy. Edward pulled away and wiped his mouth while I scowled at Jacy.

"I didn't know you liked coffee."

"I don't. But if I have to wake up to that…" She waved a hand in our direction, taking another deep swig from the mug.

"Give that back—it's bad for you." I snatched the coffee from her and tried to pat down her hair. She swiped me away with a whine.

"Says the ice cream addict."

Edward cleared his throat. "Good morning."

Jacy bunched up the blanket in her hands and worried it into a ball for a minute, silent and chewing on her lip. When she finally spoke, she surprised the shit out of me.

"I'm sorry about last night. I get it now. I got it then, but I thought maybe it could still happen. I was sad. And mad. And I said some stuff that I didn't really mean. I was kind of a dick."

I perked an eyebrow at her. Even with the swearing and the rambling, she just copped up to a lot of messy emotions, and it made my heart surge up into my throat. She was plainly inherently good. Thoughtful and kind and generous, sweet even when she was sour. Honest. I didn't know how much of that had to do with me—but pride is painful when it swells so suddenly like that.

I burst into tears.

"Mom?" Jacy's hand touched my shoulder and Edward's rested on my thigh, and I sobbed into my hands.

"I'm sorry. Sorry. It's nothing. Ignore me." I sniffled, wiping my face and blinking at her with splotchy eyes and a wobbly heart. "I just love you so much."

"I haven't seen you do that in a long time." Jacy was eyeballing me like I'd swallowed a live grenade.

"I'm not sad."

"I know. What's going on with you? You've been so—"

"Weird? Yeah, I know." I looked at Edward and then at Jacy, plucking up my courage and my seasick stomach.

I was about to blow both of their minds, their lives, wide open.

It was hidden in the back of my nightstand, tucked in a box with a few pictures of Jacob, our hospital bracelets, and a clip of Jacy's toddler curls. Some expensive leather booties meticulously beaded by an old auntie off the Rez that Jacy had never worn. The hat she'd been given at the hospital, knitted by a random stranger. It was tiny, pink knit with white hearts and lacy trim, and sometimes it still smelled like baby.

I gave Jacy the box.

She opened it and giggled over the clipping of her hair, so much more like my deep brown than the ebony black she had grown into. She examined our bracelets, showed Edward the photos of her father. Got mad over never having actually worn the booties. I finally pointed out the hat. When she picked it up, the test fell clattering into the box.

Edward's eyes shot to me, and I flamed red, not meeting his gaze.

Jacy was staring intently at the white stick in her hands, and her eyes finally met mine. "This means…."

"Pregnant." I nodded, tearing up again. "I've been way weirder than normal lately."

"Way weirder." Jacy agreed, nodding. When she looked over at Edward, I finally plucked up the courage to do the same. He was staring at me. Not the faraway daydream type he usually gave me, but something intently sharp, needling down into me like he was mining for gold. Like he could smell it on me. Like he could see right through my bones.

My heart was hammering so loud I could barely hear him.

"I knew it. There's been something off; you've had this vibe that… I didn't know. But I knew." He cocked his head, still boring into me with his eyes. "Does it make you happy?"

I nodded. And scared and sick and secretly excited, but yeah, happy too.

"And you?" He turned those eyes on Jacy, and she frowned at him.

"Are you asking me how I feel about being replaced?"

We both stared at her. She cracked seven seconds in, but my heart would never be the same again, dead silent for those seven whole seconds. Edward made a choking sound, and Jacy laughed out loud and covered her mouth, a move she learned from me. The way she swept her hair back and grinned at us was all Edward.

"Relax. I like babies. Plus, she'll be ours, so she'll be the dopest kid ever."

Dopest. I knew it meant the coolest, most epic, awesome baby ever in her world. I could live with that.

"In that case, wanna do me a favor?" Edward was looking at me again but speaking to her.

"Maybe. Depends. What are you doing? You look like you need to throw up."

Edward swallowed. He did look a little grey.

"Put this on your mom for me." He held out the ring.

It was pretty, silver filigree and red stones in a flowery pattern, obviously old. By old, I meant expensive. It was a little too big for me, but that hadn't stopped me from putting it on to stare at it for hours last night.

It was pretty. And I wanted it.

Jacy's mouth fell open. She looked at me, wide-eyed and shaking, and my stomach dropped. For a moment, I thought she hated me. For a moment, I expected her to explode. Which she did, except with the kind of joyful anti-gravity she'd left behind with her childhood. Loud and high and wide, flying at me with a squeal.

"Mom!"

Her arms went around me, and I hugged her close, searching for that baby scent, the one I knew was hidden deep in her hair right at the very top of her head. She was so big now, almost as tall as I was, stealing my clothes and swapping our shoes by mistake. I clutched her close, the love in me threatening to squash us to death.

"Don't cry," she whispered and sat up, pulling on my hands. Jacy slid the ring up my finger and turned her smile toward Edward. "Now can I move into the basement?"

Edward grinned and took the coffee mug from my unsteady grip, draining the last gulp.

Winking at me over the rim.

AN

*clappy hands*

HH is my all-time, high-or-low, in-sickness-and-in-health, are-you-there-god-it's-me-margaret, stargirl.

I'd be a not-so-happy mess without her.

Thank you for reading.

xo

HBM