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MissVarta, Unoyoko94. (Sniffle) It's going to be so hard to write that one. Be strong for us Lucy. Also Cobra is a jackass. I wanted to slap him myself and I was the one who wrote it.

westerngoddess, twizt132. I agree. Letting Erza drink is a bad idea. It makes for some good laughs though, as long as you don't have to actually interact with her.

Velvet Thorn. Yeah. Bickslow's Cosplayer has got this covered. Somehow...

Morenoel, MirandaLoveBug. Cobra opened up a can of worms didn't he? Bickslow is the opposite of happy. What will Lucy do?

Fairy Tail is not mine. If it was more chicks would slap more dudes. Because dudes are rude.

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Lucy knew she had to keep Erza focused on her and the cake if they didn't want her to get riled up again. While she chattered quietly about nonsense out loud she was shouting in her head for everyone else to be as quiet as possible, and please not distract the red haired monster before her. Cobra heard shit right? She wasn't sure how that worked but Natsu said that's how his magic worked. Hopefully he would pick up on what was in her head and keep the others calm.

They were on Erza's third cake piece of cake when Cobra caught her eye, threw his hands over his ears, and winced. She thought a soft apology at him and he dropped his hands and nodded. She had seen the babies floating from person to person whispering messages so Cobra must have forwarded her pleas to Bickslow. Which reminded her...he had crossed the line earlier. She pushed as much angry growl into her thoughts as she could without shouting.

'Cobra... You are a huge jackass. A person's personal business is, guess what, their own damn business. Especially if it's painful. You had no right to say what you did earlier about Bickslow. That's a story he wasn't ready to share yet, if ever. He will be getting a meaningful, heartfelt apology from you or so help me Kinana will be getting an earful when we get home. Not to mention lots of company. She won't be sneaking off anywhere for a long time if I'm not satisfied you hear me? Mark my words you slinky snake fucker. If I still have a hurt seith mage as a partner when Erza is done sleeping this off she will be hearing all about how the girl who is practically the guild mascot is dating some mysterious creeper named Erik who is afraid to show his face at the guild.'

'And for the record your secret girlfriend didn't tell me about you. I did corner her one day when I noticed her sneaking off and she told me, under extreme duress mind you, about meeting with her boyfriend. She used Mira's... issues as an excuse not to go public. Ask her, next time you see her, who covers for her when she disappears. I knew about her curse. I've seen her eyes change when she gets really tired. She started meditating with me you know. Training. Lisanna it teaching her takeover magic. She literally has a pet cobra she is trying to use for her first takeover. I think she is trying to give you Cubelios back even though she doesn't remember. Kinana is my Friend. So like Bix said. You can shove it.'

It took 6 very generous slices of cake to calm Erza to the point Jelall could gently guide her to her bedroll. The minute he got her out of sight Lucy ran to Midnight, summoning Cancer as she ran. The reflector mage hit the end of his chain again and Lucy froze. Right. The last time he saw her was when she attacked him with the infinity clock he had stuck her in. There was bad blood between them over Michelle. He would assume she wanted revenge.

"Midnight, I'm not attacking you. You are a Witch now. Fairy Tail has been allied with Crime Sorciere since the Grand Magic Games. We aren't enemies now. Cancer is here to pick the lock not sever your spinal cord or shave your head."

"Shave my... You really see us as allies now?"

"Yes. Now are you going to let us help you or do you want to stay chained to the portcullis until Erza comes back?" He shoved his cuffed hands at her spirit, who released him with a flurry of scissors. "You good now?" He nodded. She smiled as Richard peeked out from behind the pillar he had hidden behind while Erza devoured cake. "How ya doin Richard? Had enough brotherly love for today?"

"Oh yeah! I believe the best show of brotherly love is the lack of showing such for the remainder of the day."

"I support that." Midnight mumbled as he dropped himself under a tree and fell asleep.

"Has anyone seen Bickslow?" Lucy glanced around in search of her temporary partner. Neither he nor Crime Sorciere 's Dragon slayer were anywhere to be seen. Though she did see both sister totems playing in Meredy's hair as she giggled at them. 'Cobra you had better be fixing shit not making it worse.. '

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Bickslow stayed out of sight as Lucy talked Erza down from her murderous drunken state and bribed her with cake. No way was he giving Titania the chance to notice he had been traveling alone with her in her current frame of mind. He sent the babies to whisper in the ears of the wizards closest to Erza when Cobra had mumbles something about Lucy demanding a statue impersonation in order to avoid maiming. How the asshole knew the shit he did Bickslow hadn't quite figured out, but he was not ok with it.

Talking about his magic in general with Lucy had been hard enough. The story of Papa's death had broken chunks of him off and he still felt like he was bleeding inside. He was glad he had told her, but he was absolutely and completely not ready to talk about his sister. He didn't want Lucy to know about that. Not yet, if ever. He didn't know how he could look her in the eye now that she knew.

"Your woman is terrifying." Bickslow glared at the slayer as he propped himself against a nearby tree. He knew his eyes were glowing, an he was feeling the strain of keeping his magic under control. Asshole was lucky he wasn't using his figure eyes to make him slam his own head into that tree until his other eye popped out of his head. "Nope. Tits is still scarier than you."

"I don't know what you are talking about but go the hell away." *grr, go away, stupid Cyclops.

"Look in my defence your echoing messes with my head and your souls were singing together so I didn't realize it was something you didn't want her knowing about or even that she didn't know ok?"

"What does that even mean! They don't sing!"

"Not your...babies. Your soul. The one still in your body. It's part of my magic. I hear souls, and yours sings with hers."

"Cosplayer's soul... sings with mine... and you can hear it?" That was insane. He had promised himself he wouldn't look at her soul again without her blessing, but he was sorely tempted. He saw souls sometimes that reached out and basically danced with others or tied themselves together. What Cobra was describing was the audible version of what he had seen between lovers. Not the casual fuck in a back room when we both have an itch kind, but the happily ever after cuddle in plain view of the world kind.

"Exactly. The kind of lovers that don't have secrets between them. I wasn't paying close enough attention to listen to what was underneath and hear how new it was."

"What?" Had he said that out loud?

"No. You don't have to. I hear it." Well that must suck. "Yeah most people don't realize how much." Cobra flinched and looked toward the castle. "I didn't come here to compare period cramps. Your woman is threatening me with things I would rather avoid if I don't apologise and mean it, so... I'm sorry."

"She isn't really mine..." Cobra gave him a look Bickslow interpreted as 'Are you really that stupid.

"Is it the blue hair? It can be a guild thing because Blueberry Pancunt isn't a Fairy. Just because you haven't fucked them doesn't mean She-Thor and Tits don't belong to you guys all the way down to their souls. Geez. Is the stupid contagious? I feel like I might have gotten some on me." Cobra began wiping his hands on his pants.

"Would you stop calling her that! You... really?" The slayer rolled his eye.

"Can we be done here? Tits has threatened my sex life and life in general if I don't deliver a happy soul puppeteer to her, but this conversation is about to make me grow a vagina that will destroy my sex life anyway." Bickslow snorted.

"Mavis, you sound just like Laxus before we found Evergreen."

"I'm taking that as a yes." Cobra pushed away from the tree. "Also you might be relieved to know Tits won't bring this up. As far as she is concerned this whole conversation never happened. Literally. She tossed what I said earlier into a box with a big 'it never happened' label on it. There is scary shit in there. You might want to take a look when you two finally get around to playing soul doctor."

Bickslow watched him leave. That guy had issues. Being able to hear a person's souls would do that to you he guessed. Seeing it was bad enough, and he only did that when he tried. Which it looked like he needed to do sooner than later if what Cobra had told him was true. Was Lucy's very soul reaching out to his? Did they really sing... together?

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Lucy was playing a game Pipi called "catch hug" with Meredy and the sister totems when Cobra wandered back into the clearing. Bickslow wasn't with him. Lucy glared. 'Cobra... where is my Bix?'

"There you have it. Proof it's the hair not the guild." Say what? He rolled his eye at her. "Chill Tits. Echo's fine. No need to force yourself any further into my life than you already have."

"You can't call her that!" Meredy wailed.

"I keep hearing people say that and you know what, Taffy Head? I just did."

"But it's rude!"

"And?"

"She isn't even part of our guild, can't you be civilized?"

"She's a Fairy, which is even worse. So no." Meredy made a sound of despair.

"What did he do this time?" Lucy glanced up to see Jellal return.

"I was rude, Pancunt. Gunna do something about it?" Jellal glared. Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Jellal correct me if I'm wrong..." He turned to look at her and Cobra started chuckling, no doubt hearing what she was about to say. "Did you not find Erza wondering around Magnolia, on Christmas, in the middle of the night, in the snow, naked as the day she was born?" The blood had been draining from his face as she spoke. He made a choking sound and nodded. "And yet you still let her drink? You knew better!"

"I... I didn't realise... that it was a habitual... I thought it was a one time... I'm sorry?"

"For real man?" Bickslow was back. She felt herself relax as he sat down beside her. "Everyone knows it's a bad idea to let Erza drink. It gets really ugly really fast." *ugly, so ugly, the horror.

"Bickslow? What are you doing here?"

"Ghost hunting."

"...with Lucy?"

"Obviously."

"So... how did you find us?"

"You are noisy as fuck. The whole town thinks the castle is haunted. They sent a request to Fairy Tail."

"But... why aren't you with your team?"

"They were busy."

"Where are Natsu and Gray?"

"Busy."

"But... why is Lucy here?" Cobra started howling with laughter right before the two Fairies responded together.

"Mira." Jellal paled again.

"Oh."

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To be continued