RosesMcKellar. Thank you for pointing that out. I rewrote it a little. Sorry for the cliffhanger. I just couldn't resist.
Anui Wolf. I love when my words bring joy.
Raelin Thaon. You can come out now. I'm back. It's going to be ok. "Bickslow! Pass out hugs!"
Mistress Katana. I never really saw why no-one ever wrote those two together. It only happens in mass dragon slayer interactions.
Unoyoko94. I figured Cobra was the type to give her what she asked for, without going so far as to summon Scary Lucy.
angelMwings. I originally saw the group's first interaction with Laxus being at the guild, but he snuck up on us. Literally.
Firesong23. Can you see Cobra or Loke passing up the chance to do that? I can't.
SailorTardis498. Thank you. This story gives me Mira moments.
All hail Hiro Mashima the creator of Fairy Tail.
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Bickslow froze as he heard the deep growling voice coming from the other room. 'Shit! No! Babies please tell me...' 'busted' 'uh oh' 'nice knowing ya daddy'
"Hi Laxus." He would have loved to stay in the kitchen and hide, but he couldn't leave Cosplayer to deal with this on her own. He flipped the burner on under the full tea kettle and popped around the corner.
"Hey, Boss Man. What are you doing here?" *Hey boss, sup boss.
"Same thing you are I would guess. At least I would have guessed that if you were the only one here..."
"You're starting an underground smuggling ring, and hoping to coax one last cuddle out of a hot girl before you voluntarily have your head lopped off too huh?" *rolley polley head, cuddle time, let's all die happy. Laxus stared at him like he was crazy, because, let's face it, he was.
"I will kill you if you have sex in this house while I'm trying to sleep." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lucy blush.
"I said cuddle not fuck, Boss." *yeah boss, grow up boss. Laxus glared at him.
"Since when do you cuddle?"
"Since..." He counted on his fingers. "Four days ago I think. This mission has been a momentous learning experience." Cobra started to cackle from his seat on the couch.
"Must have been for you to string that many long words together. What the hell happened during this 'experience' of yours that brought Kinana's toxic boyfriend and the princess of Witches to our house in the middle of the night, disguised as the ice prick and his stalker?" Meredy gaped at him. Bickslow sometimes forgot just how much the slayers could discover using just their sense of smell. Cobra's scent had probably been clinging to her whenever they had their clandestine meetings. Meredy though... Laxus had never met her at all so Bickslow had no clue how he knew who she was.
"Well... you haven't exactly been around for a while ya know. Nobody but me has slept here in... Mavis, almost three months. Please tell me Freed and Ever aren't here?" *no, please no, too much. 'You're to much babies. Go sleep for a while.' 'Yes daddy.' The babies settled themselves on their designated sleeping shelf and fell silent.
"No, just me. Do I need to electrocute you to get an answer?"
"Shove that lightning bolt up your ass, Sparky." The shock on Laxus's face at Lucy's blatant disregard for his royal self was hilarious. Cobra's silent grin promised it was about to get better. "Be nice to Bixy. He is being an angel and making me chocolate. We are tired and out feet hurt. If you play nice with the other kids go back to your room."
"Excuse me?" Laxus was letting off sparks. Meredy started giggling.
"You must be, Laxus. I'm Meredy. But you know that, I guess. Somehow. You are a dragon slayer right? So I guess you must have smelled me on someone. Jellal at the Games maybe? Umm. Please excuse Lucy. She really is tired. What she ment to say is 'Our most sincere appologies for disturbing your rest. We are currently hiding in order to escape Erza and avoid being discovered by Natsu in order to delay the certain death of our companions.' Join us! Bickslow is making hot chocolate."
"She did fucking not, Taffy Head. She said what she ment. Which is a whole lot nicer than what she was thinking." Laxus raised an eyebrow in silent question. "What Tits wanted to say was something along the lines of 'Hurt my precious Disco Princess and I will tear your throat out with my teeth.' It's funny really. Because five seconds before that the only thing I was hearing from her was 'oh shit!'." Lucy looked like she wanted the couch to eat her. Bickslow swallowed hard as Laxus turned to him. Being eaten by a couch was looking like a good idea.
"Did you let the toxic dick poison Blondie or did you just drug her, because she is obviously tripping on something." Bickslow didn't bother answering. He just groaned and let himself fall face down on the couch, his head landing just shy of Lucy's lap. He was just to tired for this shit. He heard Laxus snort and move to drop onto his own overstuffed lounge chair. "So... someone want to tell me what's going on? Bickslow disappeared without a word, only to reappear almost a week later, trailing suspicious characters, sporting the new title of Princess, hunting for cuddles, and Blondie is hiding from her team in the Thunder Legion's living room. All this weird shit requires an explaination."
"It's Mira's fault." He mumbled into the couch. Lucy started running her fingers through his hair and he hummed in appreciation.
"See this is what I'm talking about. Why is Blondie playing in your hair and where is your visor?"
"I stole it when we got off the train."
"Why would you do that?" Laxus sounded suspicious, and for some reason it pissed Bickslow off. He picked his head up to glare at his best friend.
"She likes to look in my fucking eyes when she talks to me like a normal person. Got a problem with that?"
"Umm..."
"Relax, Echo. A Dragon protects what is theirs." Bickslow dropped his head again.
"Just... leave Lucy alone Boss." Lucy pulled gently on his arm untill he cooperated enough for her to cradle his head in her lap. He turned toward the back of the couch so he could nuzzle into her belly. He felt her breath catch and smiled a little peeking up at her face out of the corner of his eye.
"Wait a minute. When you said all that shit earlier about cuddling with a hot girl you ment Blondie! And you were serious? Dude! Erza is going to kill you! Violently!"
"I won't let Erza hurt him." Bickslow didn'tsee how she was going to do that.
"You... This is mutual? Bix please tell me you didn't fuck her. The whole guild will be gunning for you."
"I'm sitting right here you sparking butt plug!" Laxus growled. Cobra started cackling again. Poor Meredy was making soothing noises in an attempt to calm Lucy. "And for the record, no he hasn't! In fact he was the one who told me I needed to take time to think and breath. Bix has been a perfect gentleman! In fact he took better care of me on this mission than my team ever has. No bruises, burns, cuts, or broken bones. I even kept my cloths on the whole time!"
She was literally vibrating with rage. In defence of what she viewed as a slight against his , in his opinion nonexistent, honor she had insulted and challenged Laxus. Twice her size, next in line to be guildmaster, can whoop a wizard saint's ass Laxus. Bickslow couldn't help but wrap the arm that wasn't trapped under behind her to hold her tight to him.
She was so amazing. She trusted him, said his magic made him a soul doctor, thought his eyes were beautiful, loved his babies, verbally bitchslapped Laxus for his sake, not to mention she was sexy as he'll. If she would let him he was going to keep her. He shouldn't, because he didnt deserve her, but damned if he wasn't going to try his hardest to make her his.
"Let me get this strait. Mira sent you on a mission, you two had some sort of bonding experience, and you aren't fucking, but you're in a... re... Bickslow you don't do relationships. The fuck dude?" Lucy let out a very unladylike snort, that caused him to chuckle.
"Don't gore him, Cosplayer. You know he is right."
"No he isn't. He should know better. Bickslow doesn't not do relationships. Relationships don't do Bickslow." Because that made sense, to Lucy, he didn't get it so he knew Laxus probably wouldn't. "Besides we aren't in a relationship... exactly... yet."
"For a guy who isn't doing you Bix has his face buried pretty deep in your lap, Blondie. And for a chick who isn't in a relationship you seem pretty ok with it." Her hands stopped playing in his hair. She stopped breathing too. He pinched her. She started breathing again, but her hands were still.
"Well for a guy who isn't Ichiya you sparkle an awful lot, Laxus." Ouch. Cobra laughed so hard he fell out of his chair.
"Thank you for reminding me... Who wants to start the story of how Princess Bubblegum and the Toxic Chicken got here looking like... that?" Bickslow quickly flipped himself over, keeping his head on Lucy's lap. He startled her, but he really wanted to be involved in this conversation.
"Cancer and a Virgin, Bossman." Oh he'd seen that smirk before. Watch out Candy Girl. The Dragon is hunting.
"Pretty sure she isn't, Bix." Meredy got a decidedly wicked look in her eye Bickslow honestly hadn't seen coming from the sweet pinkette. She started to answer, but was cut off by an elbow to the diaphragm by Cobra.
"Oh no you don't. I heard that, Taffy Head." She pouted. Laxus growled at Cobra. Cobra growled back. Bickslow got nervous. The magic pressure in the room increased. Bickslow got a lot nervous.
"Ladies please!" Lucy sounded bored, but he could feel her tension. "You are both lovely. Your teeth are sharp, your wings are glorious to behold, and your scales sparkle in the moonlight like a mountain of gemstones. Either fuck each other already or shut the fuck up." Bickslows geart felt fluttery. Cobra made gagging sounds. Laxus looked a little green and a lot horrified. Meredy, devious creature that she apparently was, giggled.
"The fuck, Blondie!"
"That was one of the choices so I'm glad you are complying." Laxus did a fish impression, which Lucy ignored. "Now about our guests. You may or may not be happy to know that the Seis have joined Jellal's merry band of moping, and are in the process of ridding the world of evil. As I'm sure you heard at the guild, Erza took off a about two weeks ago to look for her not-boyfriend. She found him. Turns out the castle we were sent to exorcise really was haunted, by Witches. And Erza. It wasnt pretty. Jellal let her get drunk." Laxus shuddered. "We found them just in time. Midnight barely survived Erza's version of The Master Game. I don't think the poor thing will ever recover."
"I've heard about that."
"It's bad, Laxus. So bad." Bickslow was pretty sure the glassy eyes and quiver in her voice was just really good acting, but after what he had seen he couldn't be sure. "I fed her cake and she passed out. So did the rest of Crime Sorciere, bar Slither Bat. More bonding ensued."
"When Cosplayer says bonding she is referring to a personally tailored, soul exposing moment, Boss. In this particular case, she threatened his sex life, attacked his character, implied he was a chicken shit, sicked the babies on him, and poisoned him. It was epic."
"Shut up, Echo. Unless you wanna share your personal experiences with the class." Bickslow glanced at Lucy, only to find her already looking at him. She blushed when they made eye contact and he got stuck there. Caught in her big brown eyes, that he was sure could see right into his soul. Which really ment something to him considering what his magic was. He didn't mean to, but looking into her eyes the words just came out.
"She tore my armor off and pulled my soul out through my eyes. I didn't even realised it was bleeding till her heart kissed it better. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Her eyes had tears in them but she was smiling. "I'm not the soul doctor, Cosplayer. You are, and you didn't even need magic to heal me."
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To be continued