A/N: Hi, friends. Could you guys be nice this week? I'm having a lot of self-doubt this week…for the last couple weeks. And if you could shed a little bit of kindness this week, that'd be really cool. But last week, we had Yurio's final program. Now, let's see Yuri's, shall we?

I didn't play favorites with my kids. Yurio was a hell of a skater, but his older brother could be a serious dark horse. Yuri's routines were always mesmerizing, no matter the music. Then again, Yuri had a secret weapon in the form of his coach. It's like when I first started skating. When I wasn't practicing with Celestino, I'd be practicing with Victor. He'd always help perfect my routines. And I could guarantee he did the same thing with Yuri.

Now, I could only imagine what song Yuri was breaking out for finals. If his past selections have been any indication, I'm almost certain it'll be another something to rip my heart out. I knew his theme was pure love, but I wasn't sure how far he was taking it. In fact, I don't think I see Yuri anywhere. He's supposed to be on shortly. Where the hell could he be?

"Violet," Victor grabbed me out of nowhere, "I need you."

"For what?" I worried, watching a bead of sweat rolling down his face while he caught his breath. This can't be good, "What's going on?"

"It's Yuri," he dragged me off outside the arena, "He's having…"

"A panic attack," I assumed. I found Yuri dangling his legs over a retaining wall, his head between his knees. I figured he wasn't good, but I didn't want to believe it, "I understand."

"What do I do?" Victor's elevated panic wasn't helping things, "I've tried everything."

"Give us a minute," I approached him slowly. Wow…I've seen Yuri bad, but I haven't seen him this bad in a long time. I kept my voice down with him. It's bad enough he's anxious. I don't want to scare the shit out of him, too, "Yuri…?"

"Mama?" Yuri's voice broke. Oh, baby. How long have you been this bad?

"Hi, sweetie," I sat next to him. And automatically, he was balled up in my lap, "You want to tell me what's going on? What's got you so jumpy?"

"I won last year," he shook, "Everyone expects me to win again. I haven't been doing great at my last few practices. And I don't want to let anyone down."

"Yuri," I cradled him, "No one's expecting anything from you other than a good show. If you can give them that much, you're golden. You don't need to worry about last year. You're a whole different person. That Yuri is dead and gone at this point. Think of who you've become. Even when you started skating, you were pretty wobbly. But then, you figured out how to stand. When you stood, you pushed yourself forward…and backward…And to the left and right. Do exactly that on that ice, but with a little more flair and you'll be fine."

I wasn't going to tell him how high Yurio scored. That would've taken him out of his head even more and that's not what we're trying to do here. He needed to get his head in the game. I have total faith in Yuri to do well. We're not focused on him winning. As long as he does his best, we'll still be proud of him. If he wins, that's just a nice byproduct.

Yuri started to pull himself together a little more, "You think I'll win this year, Mama?"

"You could," I figured, "But even if you don't, you got on that ice, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but…"

"Alright then," I stopped him, "Baby steps, Yuri. Get on the ice. When you do that, then you can push yourself forward. Then, when you've mastered forward, try backwards. You know your routines, baby. Like the back of your hand. You can do this. I know you can."

"Thanks, Mama," Yuri laid his head in my shoulder, "I think I can go on now."

"That's my boy," I lifted him down from the wall and got him on his feet, "Look at that, baby. You're already standing. Get some skates on your feet and we'll see how well you use those legs."

"Ok." There's what I was looking for. Yuri smiled at me, happy as hell to be able to skate again.

"How in the hell…?" Victor gave me a look, "Witchcraft, Violet. I swear, it's witchcraft."

"I know how to work the boys, Victor," I rolled my eyes, "I've told you this a million times."

"Teach me your ways," he begged.

"I don't think what I have can be taught," I walked away, not wanting us to be alone. I know. It's on my mind, too. And I can't stop thinking about it. And it won't get out of my head. It's burned in there for eternity and I'm still kicking myself for it. Even worse, I'm kicking myself for wanting more of it. I just want to pretend it never happened and move on. Alright, Yuri. You're ready. Let Mama see what you've got.

I raced back inside and stood at the partition. Please don't let Yuri's routine show me my still beating heart. That kind of strength isn't in me today and I still need to do Green Light. That's going to be the peak of my emotional and physical exhaustion. But then, it happened. A gentle orchestrated number began. I know this sure as hell wasn't what I thought it was. Because if it happened to be that very song, the Crown Jewels of Russia would have my knife shoes in them.

"I could stay awake…" Nope. Victor's getting castrated with my skates today, "Just to hear you breathing…Watch you smile while you're sleeping…While you're far away, dreaming."

No. That's bullshit, Victor. That's low and you know it. And to add to the bullshit on top of that, it looks like Yuri's using the same choreography we used, modified for one skater instead of two. Someone's looking to pull at my heartstrings. There's no way Yuri picked that on his own. His whole program was Victor. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing…Jet Lag…Anything else I'm missing? It's a good thing I haven't seen Victor skate all season. I didn't even know what his theme was.

I'd be lying if I said this song didn't bring up a lot of good memories, though. We were practically kids then, compared to now. I could hardly walk on ice, let alone skate. But Victor held my hand every step of the way. I'd get the same anxiety Yuri had, but I don't think Victor ever put two and two together to use the same things he used on me for Yuri. He'd take my hands, hold them over his heart, and say to follow that beat. That beat would get me through anything. I missed those days…And seeing our son like this is making it that much worse.

No. I promised myself. I'm not going to start crying. Not now. I'm done with the tears. I can now start to suppress those tears and continue being a bitter adult to develop ulcers and a drinking problem. Save this energy, Violet. Leave everything you have on the ice later. You'll be ok. As Yuri's routine came to a close, I put my hands on my chest. I felt my heartbeat twitch under my fingertips. This is the beat that's going to keep me going. This is the rhythm I skate to now. I'll be ok…

"Violet!" a sweet, familiar voice attached himself to my leg. When I looked down, there was a little Thai boy stuck to me. I thought I saw him here.

"Hi, Phichit," I got down to his level, letting him throw his arms around my neck. He had no idea how badly I needed that, "How are you, sweetie?"

"I'm on next!" Phichit squeaked, still ecstatic that he was this close to me, "Any advice? I'm kind of nervous."

"You got this," I gave him a nudge, "Are you kidding? I've seen what you can do, Phichit. You worked hard all season to get here. Get out there and crush for me, ok?"

"Yay!" he sang, "You said the thing!"

"What thing?" I wondered. I had a thing?

"You always told people you were going to crush on the ice," Phichit explained, "And now, you're telling me!"

"Alright, fanboy," I giggled, "Settle down. I'm not Violet Plisetsky, gold medal figure skater, to you. I'm Violet, your best friend's mom."

"I can't wait to see you skate for finals," he could hardly stand still, "What song are you doing?"

"I can't tell you that," I stopped him, "That's a surprise. But you'll see."

I looked up at the leaderboard. Yuri's in third. Yurio's still got the top spot. That's my baby. Speaking of my baby, my oldest one skated back to me at the partition, "Mama!"

"Hi, Yuri," I lifted him over, "You did so good, baby. You brought me to tears."

"Are you sure it was Yuri that did that?" I didn't even want to see his father's face right now. He's lucky my knife shoes were still in my bag.

"Positive," I replied coldly, focusing my attention back on Yuri, "Really, honey. It took a lot for you to get on that ice today and I couldn't be prouder of you. You may not have been able to beat Yurio this year, but…"

"There's always next year," Yuri smiled, "I'm glad that if anyone beat me this year, it's Yurio. I won last year. He can have a turn this year."

And in that moment, my heart melted. That may have been the sweetest thing to come out of Yuri's mouth ever. I hugged my son tight, "That's right."

"Come on, Yuri," Victor took his hand, "Let's go find Uncle Chris and have a seat, ok?"

"Good luck, Phichit," Yuri sent his best friend off as his name was called.

"Thanks, Yuri!" Phichit skated to the center and began his routine. Something from a Studio Ghibli movie, I think. At least it sounded like it.

The more I thought on it, the more I realized it. I've mothered a lot of kids because of my career in figure skating. I had Yuri and Yurio in the off season. That was a given. But I just gave a pep talk to Phichit. I've taken care of a scrape on Otabek's knee that he tried playing off once. He was bleeding through his pants. I couldn't leave that one go. Yurio brought him to me, knowing I had random medical knowledge bouncing around in my head. Have I just become team mom without knowing it? Not that I mind.

As everyone else went on, it was time for the announcements. Yuri kept his spot in third. Bronze wasn't too bad. It'd look nice with his gold from last year. Maybe next year, he'll take second and have a whole set. I'm so happy he had such a cavalier attitude about it. Because then, by a slight point margin, Otabek took second. Very well deserved. And only by half a point. His routine was pretty good, too. But unfortunately, it wasn't better than someone else we knew…

"In first place," the loudspeaker boomed, "With a score of 94.45, Yuri Plisetsky!"

"Mama…" Yurio pulled at the bottom of my jacket, "Did…Did he just say…?"

"Go on, baby," I nudged him back to the ice, "Go tell me what gold tastes like."

"I WON!" he squealed, racing out to the ice. If he's not careful, he may fall on his face and that's not very becoming of a Junior Grand Prix winner. Yurio's worked his ass off this year. It's a shame I only got to coach him a little bit. I really was looking forward to winning that gold with him. But the season's not over. We still had his special program to skate tomorrow. But that's tomorrow. In order to get to tomorrow, Mama still had to skate. And in an hour, it'd be time to shoot my shot.

A/N: Alright, my friends. I'm sorry that this is out so late, but it's nearly 11PM where I am right now and I have another update to work on tonight. That's cool. I drank a lot of energy drinks today. Not enough to make my heart go out, but enough to where I won't sleep tonight anyway. But on a more important note, YURIO'S TAKING HOME GOLD! I'm so proud of him. And even prouder of Yuri. Poor baby skated off a panic attack and was totally cool about not winning. And Yurio got to stand on the podium with his best friend and his brother. What more could he want?

Now, next week, we're going to have Violet skating Green Light. That's going to be a little bit of a shit show, I foresee. Remember how in the actual anime, Georgi was crying while he skated? Yeah…I got a feeling that's going to be Violet's future. Alright then. I'm going to go. It's been nice seeing you all again. And I'll see you next chapter. xx