Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to The Vampire Diaries, TV show or books. However I decided to have a little play around with the characters (I would definitely like to play with Damon).
Warning for explicit sexual content, bad language, a little bit of blood play and a tiny bit of very very light bondage.
Dear Diary
It happened. Not me finally being with Damon, but I'll get on to that later. I died with vampire blood in my system and now I'm in transition. I'm not sure when I had my dream about Damon, but something makes me think not all of it was a dream. And now I've made choices which I may come to regret in the future. I just hope I'm not too late to rectify them if it turns out I made the wrong one.
Last night we planned with Elijah, to get rid of Klaus and keep him out of our lives for a few generations. Enough to allow me, my children and my grandchildren to live without his interference. Unfortunately that was the start of the mess I'm now in.
Ric found Klaus and staked him. Because they were a hundred miles apart, I had to choose who to say goodbye to in person, Stefan or Damon.
I chose Stefan for lots of reasons. Firstly he was with the other people I was about to lose, Caroline and Tyler. Secondly, he was the one who saved me when I was involved in the accident with my parents. Thirdly, he'd been my boyfriend whereas Damon has just been a friend. I felt I owed it to him to choose him. Lastly I met Stefan first. Or at least up until then I thought I did.
I had to call Damon instead. I tried to make it clear that meeting Stefan first swung my decision when he asked if it was just between them without any other considerations. For some reason I can't lie to Damon. I had to be honest with him, even though the truth hurt, and I know me choosing to leave him to die alone hurt him more than he'd ever been hurt before. Probably worse than when he found out Katherine never loved him.
What makes me mad is that Damon didn't listen. I wasn't promising my life to Stefan, I was saying goodbye. And yes I know Stefan had people around him and Damon was alone... Oh my god, he must really hate me. I needed more time. But now it might be too late and I've probably lost him. And that is so hard to take in right now with everything that is going off. I'm crying while I'm writing this.
After I chose Stefan, Matt drove me back to Mystic Falls, even though he seemed to think I'd want to see Damon instead. When we got to Wickery Bridge, Rebekah was stood in the middle of the road and Matt's truck went into the river, just like what happened with my parents.
Again, just like the night my parents died, Stefan came to rescue me, but I made him to save Matt first. I knew I wouldn't make it, but I didn't want my friend to die because of me, and I guess I was ready to go. I've had enough of the pain, grief and suffering. And yes, I died.
So how can I be writing this diary entry?
The day before I knocked my head. We thought I had a concussion, but it turned out it was a cerebral hemorrhage. Dr Fell gave me some of Damon's blood to heal me, and when I died I still had vampire blood in my system. I haven't transitioned yet, Stefan and Damon left a couple of minutes ago and are now arguing downstairs about Stefan not saving me.
Stefan says he's talked to Bonnie and she's going to try and find a way around me having to become a vampire. Damon was his usual tactful self and said I become a vampire or die. But Damon doesn't lie to me, and Stefan is trying to give me hope. Right now hope is what I need, not reality. If I do have to transition, then I will have to get to grips with reality. Until then I'll settle for hope.
Speaking of reality, my dream, was it a dream or a memory? Okay, the sexy parts were a dream but the rest?
Before I woke up, I dreamed about meeting Damon before my parents died, and he compelled me to forget. Now this could have been triggered by our conversation and me telling Damon that things could have been different if I'd met him first. But that's not how it felt. This felt like a memory. I now suspect Damon and I met first and he compelled me to forget our meeting.
Damon is so going to get it when I confront him about compelling me!
I think the only reason Damon didn't kill me was because I looked like Katherine.
When we were talking, I was flirting with him so badly. It explains Damon's early behavior towards me. We connected straight away. He seemed to be able to read me, even back then. He knew exactly what I wanted and compelled me to get everything I was looking for. And I did, with Stefan. I wonder if Damon's compulsion made me choose Stefan because that is where I initially found what I was looking for and couldn't let go. I'm not going to bring that up with him, but if I do have to transition and my feelings for Stefan change, then maybe the compulsion had something to do with my choice after all. All I know is right now I'm confused, hurt, angry, scared and I feel so guilty for what I did to Damon.
What I do know is, that this time the dream was different. Usually it is triggered by an event. This time there were snapshots of my life and a new memory. It felt like a movie trailer.
I hope it wasn't obvious I was having an erotic dream as Stefan and Damon were watching over me sleep ever since I woke up in transition.
Next time I write in this diary (that's if there is a next time) I'll either be human again or a vampire. I suspect Damon is right, and I'll be a vampire, I hope not, because I never wanted to be a vampire.
E
The previous night's dream...
Elena watched as Stefan swam away with Matt. She hoped Stefan had gotten to him in time to save his life or this would all be in vain because Elena knew Stefan wouldn't be able to get back to her before time ran out. She was already losing the battle for life and she wouldn't be able to hold her breath for much longer. Eventually, as she became more lightheaded, her body forced her to try and breathe. Elena took a large gulp, but instead of the fresh air she so desperately needed to breathe, it was cold dirty water which filled her lungs. It was too late, Elena was drowning, when finally the darkness began to envelope her. As it did, significant memories from her childhood flashed by in her heads, birthdays, holidays, Christmas's with her family. Soon, more recent memories began to quickly run through her mind, each one again, seemingly poignant.
Elena was stood in the hallway of the boarding house, when suddenly out of nowhere, crow flew over the top of her head, scaring her. Elena turned around to see where it went, but instead she saw a stunning man with raven hair and piercing blue eyes standing right in front of her, giving her a quizzical look.
"I...I'm sorry for barging in. The door was...open." Elena frowned, wondering who the gorgeous man, stood in front of her was.
"You must be Elena. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother." Damon introduced himself holding his hand out.
Immediately the image changed and Elena was stood at the top of the stairs at the Founders Court. Nerves running through her body as Stefan was missing and she had a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach she was about to get abandoned, however it was too late to pull out of the pageant. Instead she'd have to face the indignation of being stood up in front of the all of the Founding Families.
"Miss Elena Gilbert, escorted by Mister Stefan Salvatore." Elena heard Mayor Lockwood's voice ring out over the loud speaker system, which was her cue to join her fellow contestants.
Elena took a deep breath and began to descend the stairs. As she did, she looked towards the area where the escorts should be waiting, but nobody was there. Elena scoured the room for Stefan but she couldn't see him anywhere. Just as she thought she was going to have to forfeit due to the embarrassing situation of being stood up, Damon appeared, filling the spot where Stefan should have been. Relief flooded through Elena as her dark knight in shining armor, in the form of Damon, had come to rescue her from complete humiliation.
Damon took her hand and led her out to join the rest of the contestants to begin the traditional dance at every Founders Court titled 'The Simple Intimacy of the Near Touch.' Fortunately for Elena, Damon already knew the dance. When the moment came for him to take her into his arms, something within Elena changed. She didn't know exactly what it was, but the entire world fell away, and it was just the two of them dancing to the music. Heat flooded to the pit of Elena's stomach as for the first time she took note of Damon's beauty. She'd known he was attractive, but she'd never allowed herself to think of him that way . This time when she looked, she realized he was more than just attractive, he was the sexiest man she'd ever met.
As the thoughts of Damon ran through Elena's mind, she wanted to look away as she felt her cheeks turn slightly pink with embarrassment, at the same, time her heart was beating faster than she'd ever known. But the dance required her to look at her escort. Once she looked into Damon's eyes, Elena realized she was having the same effect on him.
After they'd finished the dance, the memory quickly changed again. This time it was night and she was stood in the square facing her birth mother, Isobel. Elena had just handed over the Gilbert device to her birth mother.
"But you took a risk with Damon. How did you know that he was gonna give it to me?" Elena asked.
"Because he's in love with you." Isobel smirked.
Suddenly the image changed once again, and Elena was in Damon's bedroom. She was in laying in his dying arms. He was weak, pale and sweating profusely, the effects of the werewolf venom slowly draining the life from the vampire who always lived it with such vitality and vigor. Seeing him reduced to such a pitiful state broke her heart. Even after everything he'd done to her, Elena couldn't stop herself from having deep feelings for him.
"I love you. You should know that." Damon whispered.
Elena nodded. "I do." she told him, her eyes full of tears. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him.
"You should have met me in 1864. You would have liked me." Damon smiled weakly as Elena raised her head to look at him.
"I like you now. Just the way you are." Elena whispered as Damon closed his eyes. Deciding this may be the last chance she would ever have, Elena gently placed her lips against his and kissed him.
The memory faded and the next moment Elena was stood in front of the mirror in Stefan's bedroom wearing a white lace dress getting ready for her eighteenth birthday party, while talking to Damon.
"I got you something. I know I promised not to buy you anything so don't worry. I didn't pay for it." Damon told has he walked over to her with a little black box in his hand.
Elena frowned. "You stole it?" she asked.
"No!" Damon said indignantly as he held up the little box. "Found it." he smiled as they were now stood just inches apart. He opened the box to reveal the necklace Stefan had given to her.
"My necklace." Elena gasped with surprise. "I thought I'd never see it again." she said as she took it out of the box.
"Alaric found it in his loft, thought you'd be happy to have it back." Damon told her as he offered a small smile.
"I am happy, Thank you." Elena whispered, choking up
"You're welcome." Damon replied, his voice low as Elena looked up at him for a moment.
"Can you?" Elena asked as she held out the necklace for him to help her put on.
"Absolutely!" Damon nodded, putting the black box in his back pocket and taking the necklace from her. Elena turned around, and pulled up her hair to allow Damon to place the necklace around her neck.
Damon then offered his arm to her. "Shall we?" he asked as Elena took it and they walked out of Stefan's room to the party waiting for her. The memory vanished and Elena found herself stood on her front porch with Damon.
"I'm an idiot. Cause I thought for one second that I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore." Damon said quietly, frustration creeping into his voice.
"What? What are you talking about? Guilty for what?" Elena asked.
Damon looked at Elena sadly. "For wanting what I want." he admitted.
"Damon..." Elena whispered as it dawned on her he meant her.
Damon began to leave when he suddenly stopped halfway down the stairs, clearly changing his mind. "No!" he turned back around to face Elena. "No, you know what? If I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about this." Damon said as he ran back up the steps. He cupped Elena cheeks in his hands and started to kiss her softly. However, the moment his lips touched hers, the image disappeared and a new one took its place.
This time she was stood under the florescent lights in the hallway of a motel. She'd had to leave the room, because simply being near Damon was too much for her. His sheer presence was making her feel things to her she didn't want to feel, but the pull was too irresistible. From behind her, Elena heard the motel door open and close,
followed by footsteps, which quickly stopped. Elena immediately knew who was behind her.
"Don't." Elena told him as she leaned up against the ice machine.
"Why not? Elena..." Damon whispered.
Elena hesitated for a moment, all she had to do was give in. Just this once. She knew she'd forever regret not knowing what it was like to feel Damon's lips on hers, be held in his arms. Deciding holding back wasn't fair on either her or Damon, she turned around and rushed towards him.
She placed her hands around his neck and pressed her lips against his. Damon pulled Elena in tight, his large hands on the small of her back, sending jolts of electricity up her spine, from just knowing who the touch belonged to. Elena had never known so much passion was possible in just one kiss. Sadly the memory was short lived and soon began to fade into the darkness.
Elena opened her eyes and was nearly blinded by more florescent lights, but she was no longer at the motel in Damon's arms. She took a deep breath and lifted her head. Next to her Stefan was sat, his eyes red from crying and Damon was near the door to the room, Meredith Fell behind him, his face was also distraught. Elena took in her surroundings, and judging from the expression on everyone's faces, she quickly established she was in the hospital morgue. Confusion reigned inside her as she wondered if she were already dead, and this was her body joining the other side. As the shock of it hit her, she quickly began to feel dizzy and darkness took over her once more.
Straight away her vision began to clear and she could see her surroundings once more. This time however, Elena wasn't in the mortuary, instead she was on a road close to the woods near Wickery Bridge, at the spot she met her parents the night their car crashed into the water. Elena wondered why this would be the place she'd come to after she died, when she heard a voice coming from behind her. Specifically her own voice.
Elena turned around to see herself on the phone talking to someone. Judging by what she was wearing, Elena recognized it indeed was the night her parents died. Inquisitive as to why she was there, Elena decided to watch and see what happened. She wondered if there was there something she'd forgotten about that night which she needed before she passed on and found peace.
"I know Bonnie, you're right." Elena heard herself say. "You and my mom both are. I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least not tonight. I'll call you later." she told her friend, hanging up.
Out of nowhere came another voice she recognized, yet this memory was unfamiliar. "Katherine." Damon called out.
"No – um – I" Elena watched her old self look behind her to make sure he's not talking to someone else. "I'm Elena." she said.
Elena was now confused. She had no recollection of Damon being there that night, so why would he appear in a memory? Was this a dream or had they met first and he'd compelled her to forget? Elena placed her hand over her mouth with shock. One of her reasons for choosing Stefan was because she'd met him first. If this memory were true, Damon had known different and even when faced with death alone, he wouldn't admit it to compelling her. Had he done something terrible or had he been just too afraid to tell her he'd messed with her mind? Sadly, Elena realized, she'd never be able to ask him. Clearly the memory was important, so Elena turned her attention to the scene unfolding in front of her.
"Oh, you – you just look...I'm sorry, you just really remind me of someone." Damon narrowed his eyes at the Elena in the memory. "I'm Damon." he said as he introduced himself.
"Not to be rude or anything, Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere." Elena looked at him skeptically.
"You're one to talk. You're out here all by yourself." Damon retorted.
"It's Mystic Falls. Nothing bad ever happens here." she shrugged.
Elena laughed the irony of the comment her younger self had made, and of who she'd said it to. Things had always been happening in Mystic Falls, however the then sixteen year old Elena was completely oblivious to it all. Only a few short months later the man standing in front of her and his brother would turn her world upside down.
"Got into a fight with my boyfriend." Elena volunteered after a moment of silence.
"About what? May I ask." Damon held his hands up, letting her know he was just being polite.
"Life, future, he's got it all mapped out." she said, walking towards him.
"And you don't want it?" Damon narrowed his eyes.
"I don't know what I want." Elena in the memory replied in such a manner which Elena recognized as her younger self being slightly flirtatious.
"Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants." Damon shrugged.
"What, mysterious stranger who has all the answers?" she asked, openly flirting with Damon.
"Hmm, well, let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things." Damon smirked.
"So, Damon, tell me. What is it that I want?" Elena asked, expectantly as Damon moved closer towards her.
"You want a love that consumes you." Damon told her. "You want passion, an adventure, and even a little danger." he smiled.
Elena's jaw dropped. They were exactly what she wanted, even down to the words she used. When she first met Stefan she'd complained about the lack of passion between her and Matt. Even earlier that evening, when Matt asked her about how she felt about Damon, she'd told him he consumed her. Then it hit her like a bolt of lightening, all of those feelings for Damon she couldn't understand were love. That also explained why Matt expected her to want to say goodbye to Damon, not Stefan. Matt had figured out what Elena hadn't been able to. She was in love with Damon.
"So, what do you want?" Elena heard her younger self ask, as she focused her attention back to the memory. Damon's face looked startled as if nobody had ever bothered to ask him that before. Looking back, at this point in his life, nobody ever really cared to ask what Damon wanted. Especially Katherine, which was why Damon must have established out in those few short minutes they were alone together, what had taken Stefan four months to figure out. Elena was nothing like Katherine, they only looked the same.
Damon was still hesitating with his answer when Elena's heard the honk of a horn from an oncoming car.
Elena turned around. "It's my parents." she said as Damon moved even closer to her just as she turned back to face him.
"I want you to get everything that you're looking for." Damon compelled her. "But right now I want you to forget that this happened. Can't have people knowing that I'm in town yet. Goodnight, Elena." he said and then disappeared.
Elena blinked and opened her eyes once more to find she was back in her bedroom. She heard the voices of Stefan, Jeremy and Damon, downstairs, arguing. Elena wondered if she was on the other side, eternally doomed to watch the people she loved live their lives without her being around. Sadness washed over her and although she knew Jeremy would be able to see her, she couldn't face him right now. She'd given her life for Matt's and in the process left Jeremy without any family. Elena sighed and closed her eyes.
When Elena opened her eyes once more, she was again somewhere different. This time it was at night and she was stood on Wickery Bridge looking down into the depths, where she could just about make out the shape of Matt's truck through the murky darkness. She heard footsteps behind her, but Elena didn't need to turn around to find out who it was. His scent was unique and she'd know it anywhere.
"You compelled me to forget didn't you?" Elena asked, getting straight to the point.
"Yes." Damon replied, not caring to elaborate.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she wanted to know.
"I didn't think it mattered. And when it did, it was too late." he told her nonchalantly.
Elena decided to changed the subject knowing Damon wasn't going to explain any further. "Why am I here Damon?" she asked. "This isn't a memory, or is it another compulsion?" a hint of sarcasm was resonant in her voice.
"No it's not a memory." Damon said softly from right behind her. "And no this isn't compulsion either. This is a dream, your subconscious. And no, I'm not giving you this dream before you ask." he told her.
"I thought I was dead, on the other side." Elena turned to look at him. "If not, then why am I dreaming?"
"Wickery Bridge seems to represent all of the major changes in your life." Damon explained. "You lost your parents here and now you are dying here." he said sadly.
"But why you? Why am I not dreaming about Stefan?" Elena frowned as she took his hands in hers.
"Guilt? Regret for not choosing me?" Damon offered.
"That's not it Damon." Elena sighed. "In my dreams I always choose you. Yet when it comes to the reality, I choose Stefan. I just don't understand why. You don't think it is linked with your compulsion do you?" she asked.
"I don't know." Damon frowned. "Look Elena, what's done is done. You chose Stefan." he said sadly as he let her hands go and turned to leave.
"Damon, wait." Elena called out. Damon turned around. "Please don't leave me, I don't want to die alone?" she begged before lowering her eyes, bathed in guilt as she realized what she was asking. Only a few minutes earlier she'd told Damon she was going to let him die alone so that she could be with Stefan.
Damon took a step closer to her. "You should have wanted Stefan to be here with you in your final minutes, not me. Remember, it will always be Stefan." he said with a hint of bitterness in his voice.
Elena cupped Damon's cheeks in her hands. "The naive young girl who told you that is very different to the woman stood in front of you right now. I love you Damon." she whispered, standing on her tiptoes and brushing her lips against his.
Damon pulled away and then rested his forehead against Elena's. "But you still chose Stefan." he said sounding pained at his own words.
"But I want you, not Stefan." Elena insisted. "I don't know why I chose Stefan, maybe I just needed a little more time. I didn't want to have to choose just yet. I still loved Stefan, but I wasn't sure whether I was still in love with Stefan. If not we needed closure. Not only that I wanted to be certain people would come around to the idea of you and I being together, and now..."
"And now it's too late." Damon interrupted as Elena nodded, tears streaming from her eyes.
"I've loved you and have been in love with you for a very long time." Elena sobbed. "I was just too scared to admit it." she stroked his cheeks with both hands. "Someone once told me 'When it's real, you can't walk away'. Well you and me, we're real. We always have been, from the very first moment we met. So please don't walk away." she begged.
"And what about Stefan?" Damon asked.
Elena gave him a sad smile. "As I said,Stefan and I needed closure. That way you and I could have built our futures together without other people questioning our relationship." she told him.
"You really think we could have had a future together?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm sure we'd have found a way to work it out. We always did, we always survived, until now." Elena swallowed her tears, pretending to be strong. "You know, I always refused to discuss my future with Stefan." she told him. "And yet for some reason, I suspected you were my future a long time ago. I just didn't know why. How wrong I was." she began to sob once more. "And I never even got the chance to tell you I love you in person." she hiccuped as more tears fell.
Damon kissed her gently on the lips. "You really love me?." he whispered.
"Of course I love you Damon. More than you could ever know" Elena smiled sadly. "Look, I'm not sure how much longer I have left. How about a goodbye dance?" she smiled sadly.
"Here?" Damon raised an eyebrow as he looked at the empty road around them.
"What better place? Like you said, this is where all the major changes in my life seem to happen. Maybe a dance with you might save me, so I say this is as good a place as any." Elena said quietly as Damon took her hand in his and placed one arm behind her back.
"You know, the near touch isn't going to be anywhere good enough for this dance." Damon whispered into Elena's ear as they began to sway and move together to the same rhythm even without music.
Elena rested her head in the crook of Damon's neck, taking in his familiar scent. She closed her eyes as a feeling of contentment and home washed over her. For the first time since before her parents died, she felt safe and secure, wrapped in unconditional love.
"Then lets make it something else then." Elena whispered as she lifted her head to look at him. "I want the real touch, your touch, everywhere."
"You sure?" Damon frowned.
"Of course I'm sure." Elena smiled as Damon spun her round in a circle and pulled her in tight. "That way I'll die happy knowing, even if only for one time I was with the man I love, who loves me too. And Damon..."
"Yes Elena?" he replied.
"I'm sorry. For the way I treated you. I took you for granted, and if I could survive this and change anything..." she started.
"You'd still have to give Stefan a chance." he nodded. "But lets forget about that now. I've done enough bad things to you too, and I'm sorry for my part. But this is our time to enjoy together." he whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers and found her lips. "So let's make the most of it."
The kiss started out gentle and chaste, a little like the time they kissed on Elena's front porch. Elena wound her arms around Damon's neck as he took hold of her waist and pulled her in tight. Soon the kiss became something more passionate as their tongues danced and fought, tasting and exploring. The fire that had burned deep inside her for so long, reared it's head once more, just like it had in Denver. This time there was no Jeremy to interrupt them, nobody to stop them or judge them. They were free to be themselves with each other for the first and last time, and they were making it count.
Eventually Damon broke away from the kiss. "Where do you want to go?" he asked.
"I've always had a desire to try out your bed and see if it's as comfortable as it looks." she smiled.
"My bedroom it is then." Damon grinned as their surroundings changed and they were in Damon's bedroom. "Turn around and face the mirror!" Damon instructed as Elena frowned but did as she was told.
Elena took in her reflection with Damon stood behind, his cheek pressed against hers as his head peered over her shoulder, with his arms around her waist. She took in what a wonderful couple they made. Yet she'd chosen Stefan. Looking back at her was what could have been if she had chosen different. But what else would have changed if she were to have had a relationship with Damon? What type of future could they have had together?
"This might be your last time." he whispered into her ear. "What type of sexual fantasy do you want us to play out?" he asked. "I'm game for anything." he smirked as Elena raised an eyebrow.
"Why am I not surprised?" she giggled.
"Well, nothing can hurt you now." Damon shrugged. "There's nobody here to judge, except me. And as I said I'm game for almost anything."
"Almost?" Elena frowned.
"I want you all to myself. No sharing." he said.
"Spoilsport." Elena pouted. "I had this idea of..." she started, but stopped and burst into laughter at the expression on Damon's face. "...of it being just you and me."
"Good." Damon whispered as he began to suck on her earlobe, which tickled, yet was strangely erotic at the same time. "So what do you want to do?" he asked.
Elena knew she wasn't sexually very experienced. She and Matt had split up not long after their first time and although she'd been dating Stefan on and off for around eight months, until he went off with Klaus, their sex life had been sporadic, plain and simple. There was always something going on to stop them from having time alone together, or it was her time of the month, or she just wasn't in the mood. Therefore, Elena hadn't got a clue what to suggest.
"I don't know what I want." Elena admitted.
"Of course you do." Damon looked up through his eyelashes at their reflection. "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, an adventure, and even a little danger." he smirked. "I'm the love that consumes you. I'm also your passion, adventure and danger. But I'm also your freedom. You can do anything you want with me. I won't judge, I'll just indulge."
"Then I'll let you decide what to do." Elena whispered.
"Fine." Damon smirked mischievously. "Have you ever seen the movie True Lies?" he asked. "The one where..."
"Jamie Lee Curtis does that dance for Arnie?" she asked as Damon nodded. "You want me to do that?" Elena looked at Damon in horror.
"Or we could try a role reversal." Damon offered. "I'll dance and strip while you watch." he grinned.
"I like the sound of that." Elena smiled as she thought how ironic it would be for a dance to be involved in her final fantasy with Damon considering the first time she felt a sexual connection with him was when they were dancing.
"On one condition." Damon stipulated. "I strip, and I get to tie you up. Or you strip and tie me up. I think that's a fair deal." he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Elena thought for a moment. Damon's suggestion would do what he said. It would give Elena everything she wanted in her last memory or dream. She already knew it was all a fantasy and if Elena were to live, she'd be writing this down in her journal the next morning. Although she had no idea where the idea of being tied up came from. Maybe being tied up was symbolic of her connection to the Salvatore brothers, or a deep seated trust in Damon. Whichever it was, there was nothing to lose, she might as well go all the way and have some fun before she died, so Elena decided to up the ante and let out every desire she didn't know she possessed.
"I've got a better idea." she smirked as Damon raised a suspicious eyebrow. "I strip and you tie me up. Under the condition once I'm tied up you have to make me come. By that time I want you already naked. And then..." Elena stopped, teasing him with a know smile. "You'll get what you always wanted." she told him.
"And what's that?" Damon frowned.
"You'll see." Elena told him. "So, are you going to sit down and lower the lights while I dance?" she asked as Damon turned the lights off, leaving the room dimly lit by the fire burning in the hearth. "Are we going to have music?" she asked.
"I have the exact song from the movie." Damon told her proudly.
"I don't actually know the dance." Elena told him. "And I'm not wearing a slutty dress." she added.
"Improvise." Damon suggested. "That's the point."
"Fine" Elena took a deep breath. "Cue the music." she said as Damon moved the chair far enough away so she couldn't see his face and sat down before pointing the remote control to turn on the music, as John Hiatt's 'Alone in the Dark' came pouring out of the speakers.
Elena slowly began to move, first finding the beat before deciding how to take off her clothes in the sexiest way possible. Firstly she removed her jacket as seductively as possible, managing to not get her arms caught up in the sleeves. Elena slowly walked over to the bed, cloaking herself in shadows to add to the mood. She didn't want to reveal everything to Damon, and even though he could see far better in the dark than she could, he still wouldn't be able to make out every detail.
The next item to go was her top. Fortunately, Elena somehow managed to not mess up her hair when she took it off. However, she decided to leave her bra on, just to keep teasing him. Next, Elena shimmied out of her jeans, kicking off her converse along the way. Elena now realized the time had come to dance.
"I want you to dance sexy Elena." Damon whispered. "Put your hands on your body and imagine they're mine." he added seductively.
This seemed to have the desired effect. Elena closed her eyes and moved her hips. She teasingly ran her hands up her body and around her breasts. He legs widened as she rolled her pelvis sensually to the slow sexy sounds of the guitar, lifting her hair up with her hands. She began to find a confidence mixed with desire for the man who was clearly enjoying what he was seeing, because when Elena opened her eyes again, she could see from his movements he was putting on a show for her.
Elena could make out Damon had already removed his shirt. He was slowly making his way towards her, his own hips swaying to the music while he removed his belt and undid his jeans. They fell away from his hips revealing nothing underneath, taking Elena's breath away in surprise. Deciding not to be outdone, Elena slid her own hand in her panties and stroked her folds as Damon was suddenly stood behind her. His chest pressed up against her, she could feel his erection, already rock solid poking the small of her back.
"I think that's my job." Damon whispered into Elena's ear as his hand joined hers in her panties. "You're already wet for me aren't you." his words were more of a statement than a question.
"Yes." Elena replied as her eyes rolled into the back of her head when he inserted a single finger.
"Good." he said smugly as he removed his finger and placed it in Elena's mouth. She sucked on it, expecting it to be unpleasant, but it wasn't as her juices were combined with the delicious overriding taste of Damon. "I just need to get a few things." he said as he took his finger out of her mouth and vamp-sped over to his closet. A couple of seconds later he was stood behind Elena once more. "I'm just going to cover your eyes with a tie." he told her.
"Why?" Elena asked, slightly concerned about this new development, he hadn't mentioned anything about being blindfolded.
"If you take away one of your senses, the others become more heightened." Damon explained. "Do you trust me?" he asked.
"Of course I do." Elena replied.
"Well then, you've got nothing to worry about. Just enjoy the ride." he whispered.
"Okay then." Elena agreed, knowing Damon wouldn't hurt her.
Damon covered her eyes with the tie and fastened it so it was only tight enough to stay in place. "Does that feel okay?" he asked.
"It's fine Damon." she assured him.
"Good, now just put one foot in front of the other and I'll guide you until I stop you and then I'll turn you around." he instructed.
Elena did as she was told until Damon halted her. He turned her around like he promised, pulling her backwards slightly until she could feel wood against her back, which Elena recognized by the shape, to be a post from his bed. Damon then took her wrists and placed them behind her and tied them together around the bed post, using what Elena suspected was a leather belt. Again he left if fairly loose so it didn't hurt her, in fact she could have easily escaped, but that would have defied the point of the game.
"Nothing this beautiful should be kept so well hidden." Damon whispered as lips trailed down Elena's neck and chest. His hands momentarily massaged her bra-clad breasts before ghosting his fingers down the sides of her body, giving Elena goose flesh, despite the heat of the large fire. Elena felt Damon's fingers hook through the lace of her panties before ripping them off. "You're not going to be needing those again." he reminded her. "Stand with your legs further apart." he demanded as he nudged her legs open.
Elena could feel Damon's warm breath at the top of her thighs before she felt his kisses, which grew closer and closer to her core. His fingers stroked a line from her entrance up to her nub and back before separating her folds, causing her to shiver. At the same time, heat was burning inside Elena's stomach and her core was beginning to throb at just the thought of what he was about to do. Damon blew into her entrance, then his tongue followed, as he slowly licked the line he'd made with his fingers up to her nub before circling it. He then slowly licked and sucked on her folds, as he made his way back back to her entrance.
Damon began to massage her nub with his thumb while he pressed his tongue all the way into her core. He concentrated his efforts on tongue fucking her and teasing her folds. Elena moaned with pleasure as the heat which was burning inside her seemed to grow with every lick and thrust. Her throbbing core, already threatening to reach an almighty exploding point, when suddenly Damon stopped. His mouth latched on to her sensitive clit and began to suck the bundle of nerves while he inserted two fingers inside her and gently thrust in and out of her core. Elena desperately wanted to grab hold of something, but her hands were literally tied. Just to make matters worse, Damon had been right when he told her everything would be heightened, including her urgent need to come.
"Oh yes...Damon...don't stop." Elena panted. "Harder...please." she begged.
"I want to hear you scream my name Elena." Damon muttered before returning back to sucking on her nub, except this time he was occasionally flicking his tongue across her folds. He inserted a third finger inside her and increased the speed of his thrusting.
The sensations became too much as the heat inside her stomach boiled over into her throbbing core, which began to spasm violently, sending Elena spiraling into an orbit, of agonizing pleasure as her climax ripped through her body unlike anything she'd previously experienced. Her orgasm didn't seem to be confined to just her core, it was wreaking havoc through her entire body, as wave after wave of the blistering hot contractions seemed to go on forever.
"Oh my god...fuck..Damon...yes...yes...Aargh!" Elena screamed loudly as she arched her back away from the bed post, pulling on the leather belt until it cut into her wrists, not that she cared, the pain seemed to add an extra does of adrenaline, causing her to feel lightheaded. Elena seemed to lose the ability to think or speak coherently other than her cries of pleasure. Just as she thought her climax would never end, her body went rigid and Damon stopped using his mouth and fingers on her, allowing her orgasm to begin to wane. He held her tightly around the waist and kissed her stomach, which just about kept her standing as her legs had turned to jello.
Elena felt Damon stand up, he brushed his lips against hers as he unfastened the belt. He broke away from the kiss and removed Elena's blindfold as she blinked rapidly to allow her sight to readjust to her surroundings. The first thing she saw was Damon's handsome face looking very pleased with himself. Elena smiled and kissed him, noticing his erect shaft was poking into her stomach. Elena took his length into her hand and began to pump it gently, wiping the pre-cum around the tip in the process, earning her a growl of satisfaction from Damon's lips.
"I want you to bite me." Elena whispered. "The first time you enter me, I want you to bite me at the same time."
Damon frowned with surprise. "You sure about this?" he asked.
"I'm absolutely sure." Elena smiled. "I also want to be drinking your blood too. I'm guessing it's effects are slightly more pleasurable when full consent is given." she said, hoping she was right.
"The effects are very different if you want to blood share." Damon assured her. "When I did it as a human, I got a buzz from it. Mixing it with sex just heightens the sensation." he told her.
"Well, it's the only chance I'm ever going to get, and I want to watch it through the mirror." Elena told him.
"Your wish is my command." Damon grinned as he moved the chair in front of the mirror. "Something to hold on to." he smirked.
Elena stood behind the back of the chair and held onto it as Damon coated his member in her juices. He placed it at the entrance of her core.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Never more so." Elena smiled back as Damon bit his wrist and held it out to her.
Gently he pushed his length inside her core, her body stretching to fit him slowly filling her her up, as Elena's mouth latched onto his wrist. Damon moved Elena's hair to one side to allow him unobstructed access to her neck, however as he glanced at their reflection in the mirror he stopped his movement inside her.
"Elena, your face." he whispered. But Elena didn't need to look, she already knew what she would see if she saw her reflection.
As soon as Damon bit his wrists, Elena had started to feel a tingling sensation around her eyes, and her gums ached, but not in a painful way. Damon's blood, instead of being disgusting, was the most wonderful taste she'd ever encountered. Elena knew only one thing could make her to feel this way, being a vampire. She'd never had any desire to be a vampire but she'd be lying if she hadn't wondered what it felt like. Maybe her subconscious was giving her the experience in sexual circumstances so she would only ever know the good side.
"It's a dream Damon. It isn't real." Elena told him, as she released her lips from his wrist. "Nothing changes, I still want you to bite me and be inside of me at the same time." she told him. "I want you inside of me in every way possible."
"Well this does put a new spin on things." Damon smirked.
"How?" Elena frowned, bringing his wrist close to her mouth once more.
"I don't have to be quite as gentle." he whispered in her ear as he thrust himself inside her.
Elena's breath hitched at the suddenness and the glorious sensation of Damon being fully inside of her. Thanks to being a vampire, there had been no pain, even after he'd put so much force into their joining. Instead it was just a sense of fullness. Elena looked at her own reflection in the mirror, expecting to be horrified by what she saw. But instead her vision was filled with two vampires committing the ultimate act of intimacy, sharing blood while making love at the same time.
As Damon's teeth found Elena's neck, she once again bit into the already closed up wound on his wrist and his delicious blood filled her senses, heightening everything she felt. Touch, sight, smell, sound and taste was all amplified. At the same time she could feel Damon sucking the blood from her neck, causing her to feel a little lightheaded, but not enough to be dizzy. Damon also began to move his hips, thrusting in and out, while Elena matched his rhythm. Soon they were moving at a pace and force which would have killed a human. The sensations going through Elena's body were exquisite, but what she wanted more, but most of all she wanted Damon's blood.
Unable to fight the bloodlust, Elena pulled Damon's wrist away from his lips, spun round and pushed him up against the wall at vamp-speed. Her mouth found his neck and she pierced his carotid artery with the finesse of a vampire with considerable experience instead of the girl who'd only just discovered an appreciation for the red nectar.
Damon's mouth reattached itself to Elena's neck as they fed on each other. Damon turned them around and pinned Elena against the wall, he pulled her leg up so that he could insert himself inside her. Elena wrapped her arms around his neck and legs around his waist to help him as he began to pound in and out of her. There was nothing soft or gentle about this. It was hot and animalistic, a primal need to be joined together in every way possible as one single entity. The emotional and physical union was proving to have an extremely powerful effect on Elena as everything building up inside her felt like it was on fire.
"Fuck me Damon...fuck me...harder." Elena panted, her lips no longer latched onto his neck as her sexual release had became more urgent than the need for Damon's blood.
Suddenly Damon vamp-sped them across the room to the bed. He splayed Elena's arms above her head and entwined his fingers with hers before lining up his member and sliding it inside her once more. Elena lifted her hips to meet his, pushing him in even further to penetrate as deep as possible. Once again they set a furious pace, however instead of feeding, their lips met, still covered in blood as they kissed deeply and passionately. In between kisses, their mouths tried to explore each other's bodies, necks, shoulders, arms, any body part their lips could find. All the while their hips moved in perfect unison as Damon continually entered her at an angle which brushed up against her nub, creating friction with every thrust, causing her to moan in pleasure whenever they moved.
After a few minutes, Elena decided to take control of matters. She'd spotted the belt lying next to her from when Damon had tied her up a little earlier. Taking advantage of her new found vampire powers, she used her superhuman strength and speed to take Damon by surprise. Elena rolled them over so she was straddled over his waist as she tied his hands together with the belt, which she secured around the bedpost.
Damon's eyes lit up with a mixture of surprise and delight at this new development. He clearly had no issues being dominated by a woman, in fact Elena suspected he enjoyed it. She'd never been so bold enough to experiment with role play or even imagined tying up or being tied up before. But this was a sexual fantasy and Elena could do whatever she wanted, and she suspected even the real Damon would be up for something like this.
Elena took hold of Damon's shaft in her hand and gracefully impaled herself on him, causing them both to moan with satisfaction. She then placed her hands on his chest and began to move her hips. Even though he was tied up, Damon managed to keep up with her and thrust up into her with his powerful pelvis, deepening the penetration. Elena kissed Damon's chest as she allowed her hands to roam and touch him, just as she'd had a desire to do ever since she noticed he had a fabulous body at the bachelor auction.
"I love you." she whispered.
"I love you too." Damon smiled, the expression on his face, told Elena he clearly meant what he said.
They both started to pant and moan loudly. The distinct smell of sex and the sound of skin on skin turned Elena on even more. For so long Damon had consumed her, now she wanted to do the same. Elena was becoming desperate for her release, however she knew she needed a little bit of extra stimulus to reach her own climax and suspected Damon probably would too. To aid them both, Elena unclasped her bra and threw it to the floor.
"Elena...Fuck!" Damon whispered in awe at the sight of her naked breasts, his eyes turning even darker with lust.
A wry smile appeared on Elena's lips as she decided to put on a little show for Damon. With one hand she cupped her breast and began to pinch her nipple, while the other moved down her body and towards her clit. Elena's fingers separated her folds to access the small bundle of nerves as she continued to circle her hips and massage her breast. The additional stimulation increased the burning desire inside her and she knew she wasn't far from tumbling over the precipice of pleasure.
Out of nowhere, Elena heard a ripping sound and simultaneously saw Damon pull at the leather belt and tear it apart. He removed the binds from his wrists and sat up. Wrapping his arms around Elena's back, he took Elena's nipple in his mouth and began to suck on it.
Previously, Elena had never derived any sexual pleasure from her breasts. But Damon's masterful mouth and tongue seemed to know exactly what she needed. He licked, nipped and sucked on one breast before switching his focus to her other. When he stopped, he looked up at her imploringly. Elena realized Damon was becoming desperate for his release, but was holding out for hers first.
Elena nodded to let him know she was close to the edge before bending her head down to kiss him. She gently tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth, causing him to growl with pleasure. He slid one of his hands between them and laced his fingers into hers as they simultaneously massaged her nub to bring her to her climax.
The additional touch of his fingers created the final piece of stimulus Elena needed to reach her orgasm. Her almost painful hot throbbing core began to contract in waves of delicious electricity, sending hot bolts of pleasure through her body. The scalding lava in the pit of her stomach, which had been threatening to overflow for a while, erupted into floods of desire, ever heating the spasms which had now completely taken of her core.
"Oh my god Damon...fuck...oh yes, oh yes." she panted. "Damon...aargh!" she screamed as her body arched into his, her breasts pressed up against Damon's chest.
All the while, the more her overly sensitive core contracted, the more she could feel herself milking Damon's member to his release. He seemed to grow even bigger as he began to thrust harder, his movements becoming ever more desperate.
"Fuck...Elena..." Damon moaned. "Argh!" he growled as his face contorted into what could only be described as a look of pleasure and pain, all combined into one. As far as Elena was concerned, he'd never looked more beautiful as he did in this vulnerable moment when he was reaching his climax.
Just as Damon's hot seed filled her womb, Elena's body went rigid and her fingernails dug deep into the skin on Damon's back. The scent of Damon's delicious blood filled the air, but neither of them cared about the wound or even the blood. Together they were united in their zenith of pleasure, and a state of euphoria washed over Elena, from what could only described as a combination of the most powerful orgasm she'd ever experienced with a blood sharing high.
Damon lay back down on the bed and Elena rested on top of him. Too scared to move just in case their bodies were no longer united. As she rested her head on his chest, listening to the overly slow, quiet sound of his vampire heart, Elena's thoughts turned back to her imminent death. More precisely, she began to think about the people she was leaving behind. Primarily her brother.
Elena was unsure about the rules regarding whether doppelgangers passed to the other side. There was also the question as to whether she would find peace or not. She'd never killed anyone, but then again neither had Vicki and she didn't find peace. If Elena simply passed to the other side, she would be able to communicate with Jeremy and he wouldn't have to feel completely alone. But if she wasn't supernatural enough to qualify for the other side, or she did indeed find peace, then her brother would be left all alone. He would need a guardian who technically qualified for being over eighteen, someone to influence him who actually might just care enough to do the best for him. Elena smiled sadly as she realized who was the most qualified older brother she knew.
"Damon, can you promise me something." Elena asked with sadness in her voice.
"Anything." Damon whispered.
"Watch over Jeremy for me." Elena told him, tilting her head up to look at him. "He doesn't have anyone else left, especially now Ric has gone as well. And for some reason he looks up to you."
"I will." Damon smiled, kissing her on the forehead. "But now it's time for you to get some sleep. Close your eyes." he told her. Elena did as Damon said and let her eyelids droop. Soon her body began to relax and a sense of peacefulness washed over her. Just as she wondered if she was finally dying she started to hear noises, and lots of them.
Elena felt herself wake up to what seemed like a bright white light, even though her eyes were still closed. The sound of church bells, sirens, and what sounded like a lawnmower, rang out loudly in her ears. She opened her eyes and took a huge gasp of air, before scrambling to sit up in her own bed, confused as to what was going on. She could make out it was daylight and Stefan was sitting on the end of her bed, watching her.
"Stefan?" Elena asked as she began to hyperventilate, frightened, as she tried work out what had happened to her.
"Hey. I'm right here. You've been in and out for hours." Stefan assured her, rubbing her hand.
"Wh-what happened?" Elena asked.
Stefan lowered his eyes. "You were in an accident." he told her.
"Oh my God. Matt is he...?" Elena began to panic as she remembered Stefan swimming away with Matt in his arms.
"Alive?" Damon interrupted in a sarcastic voice as Elena noticed his presence for the first time when she and Stefan looked over at him, sat on the window seat. "Ask Stefan. The hero." he added bitterly.
Elena looked back at Stefan. "He's fine." Stefan reassured her.
"Thank you." Elena sighed a sigh of relief. " I thought that I – how did you...?" she frowned with confusion as realization hit her, something wasn't quite right, she could tell from Damon's angry face.
"Save you? He didn't." Damon snapped.
"When Jeremy brought you to the hospital before all this happened, your injuries were worse than anyone knew." Stefan explained. "Meredith Fell made a choice, she used Damon's blood to heal you." he continued.
"And when Rebekah ran Matt's truck off the road, you had vampire blood in your system, Elena." Damon simply added.
Elena's face fell and tears began to well up in her eyes. The one thing she'd never wanted to happen was coming to fruition. "Oh my God. Does - does that mean that I – am I dead?" she asked, looking between Stefan and Damon, but neither of them answered her, instead Stefan just lowered his eyes. Their silence told her all she needed to know. "No, no, no, no! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Elena cried as she started to panic.
"Maybe it doesn't have to." Stefan tried to reassure her. "I talked to Bonnie, she says she's stronger than ever, there might be something that she can do to help you." he said quickly.
"No, the only thing that's going to help is for you to feed and complete the transition." Damon's voice was full of frustration.
"We have all day before she has to feed, Damon." Stefan argued. "That's a day to exhaust every possible way out of this."
"There is no way out of it." Damon snapped. "We all know the drill. You feed or you die. There is no door number three." he spat.
Elena began to cry. "I was ready to die. I was supposed to die. I don't – I don't want to be – I can't be a vampire! If there's something that Bonnie can do we have to try." she begged.
"We will. We'll try everything" Stefan promised as Damon scoffed and rolled his eyes at Stefan's attempt to give Elena hope, even though deep down she suspected Damon was right.
"Your choice, Elena. As always." Damon said bitterly as he held his hands up in mock surrender before getting up and leaving her and Stefan alone. Stefan looked at Elena who was still was still crying, however she wanted to be on her own for a moment to allow herself to digest the information and deal with it in her own way. Elena nodded for Stefan to go talk to Damon so she could be alone to take in the revelation. He smiled sadly and got up to follow Damon.
Elena swallowed her tears and listened for a moment, surprised she could hear them talking so clearly from the kitchen. Deciding she would have enough time to be alone and write down her dream, she reached under her bed and found her Damon journal. This was the only way she felt she could wrap her head around what had happened. Her dreams had been significant, especially as she was dying. Elena wanted to capture the flashbacks as well as the dream in her journal as the recent ones had all had one thing in common, Damon. Even when dying, she couldn't escape thinking about him. He truly did consume her.
The one which stood out for her was their meeting before Elena's parent died. She remembered everything else and her sexual fantasies regarding Damon were not highly unusual, but their meeting felt like a memory she'd clearly lost. Elena knew memories from compulsion would return during transition, and she began to wonder if any other memories would come back to her before the day was out.
Elena sighed with an air of resignation, wiped her eyes and picked up the pen before opening the journal to the next fresh page, where she began to write. Dear Diary...
Just for clarification; I wrote this chapter because even though Elena chose Stefan, it is my interpretation she was deeply in love with Damon at the time she turned. That love created the sire bond. There is nothing to suggest to me she was still in love with Stefan even though she chose him.
I see Elena as a confused 18 year old who didn't understand the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. A young girl susceptible to peer pressure and was very loyal. My feeling is that she looked back at her relationship between her and Stefan with rose tinted glasses and wanted to recapture that time of her life before Jenna died. Which considering how many people she'd lost in such a short period of time, is completely understandable.
I believe when she chose Stefan, her head ruled her heart. However in my story, in her dreams, her heart rules her head.
Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They are always appreciated.
If you like the story, please like, follow or review. Reviews inspire me, correct my mistakes, allow me to engage and answer questions. They also help motivate me to get the following chapters out quicker.
Mandzipop.