Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to The Vampire Diaries, TV show or books. However I decided to have a little play around with the characters (I would definitely like to play with Damon).

I would like to thank Voltarol pain relief Gel for it's assistance with this chapter. Without it, I'd never have been able to finish it as my RSI flared up and I was practically unable to type. But it gave me enough relief to get me back typing again.

Warning for explicit sexual content, blood sharing, bad language and sex toys.

Dear Diary

I can't believe I'm writing in this thing, apparently again. I obviously kept this journal. It makes a very interesting read, and although I know they're not real, it goes some way to understanding how I fell in love with Damon. Wow it still seems crazy even thinking that I was in love with him. But there's this nagging feeling inside me which I can't shake, and I know if I don't follow it through, I'm going to regret it, even though the Damon I know is a monster and my feelings seem impossible.

From what I can gather, the diary entries were inspired by real events. I remember versions of what happened, but in my mind they happened differently. For instance at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant, I didn't dance with Damon. And I certainly didn't kiss him at the motel room. My 18th birthday was spent at home, not at a party with Damon, imagining marrying him. But according to Ric, that was the signature moment when I fell in love with Damon. I can't believe it happened while I was still with Stefan.

So yeah I've read my own advice to myself, and I wish I could get my memories back, but now Ric is human, that is no longer an option. When I look at Damon, I remember the monster who did some hideous things. Yet if you read my journal's, you wouldn't believe he was the same person. The man I describe is sweet, funny, loving, caring, protective and an unbelievable lover. In fact he sounds a bit too good to be true if you ask me. Certainly nothing like the Damon Salvatore I remember.

When I looked at him tonight and tried to get my memories back, all I saw was a stranger, because the man in front of me looked like the monster Damon Salvatore I knew, but there was something else behind the way he looked at me. He looked broken and desperate, while being utterly in love at the same time. He showed me respect even though I have completely broken his heart. And I have to admit, it hurt that I did that to him, even though I still see him as a monster. Well sort of.

You see when I crossed the border, I saw something, it was brief but it was a memory of Damon and I. We were out watching a meteor shower, and then it started to rain. I told Damon about this and he just said it got muddy and we went home. But I think he lied, as much to himself as to me. He lied to stop me from feeling guilty for erasing my memories of him. Now I'm writing in this journal because after I went to bed last night, I had a dream. I don't know if I'm starting to have fantasies about Damon again, or whether I was remembering what really did happen after it started raining. Whichever way it was, it was beautiful. And unless we find a loophole, I'm never going to get my memories back, and I doubt Damon would tell me the truth, unless I took a risk and trusted my journal as to why I loved him so much and actually get to know him again. The alternative is to forget about it, but I cant.

Looking on the bright side, if I did that, we'd never have the 'Stefan' cloud hanging over us. From what I could tell, Damon was insecure about our relationship for a while and was paranoid I'd go back to Stefan. Damon is wanting to back off for my sake, but I don't think I want him to. If that glimpse of a memory and the possibility of my dream being the remainder of the memory are anything to go by, then we not only have something special, but we are soulmates.

I admit Damon seems different, softer, but is he putting on an act to get on my good side? Or is this the man I knew? If so, I can see the appeal, other than being smoking hot. The funny thing is, my memories don't make me think I found him hot, but when I see him in the flesh, he makes me tingle a little. I wonder if just because my memories are erased from my brain, my body recognizes how much I need him physically, because according to my journal, it seems that out love life was pretty amazing.

In fact amazing doesn't cover it. Our love life sounds like we were up for anything. I mean, spanking? Really? Bondage, blindfolds. This is stuff which requires levels of trust I can't ever imagine giving anyone, but apparently I did. But it wasn't all kinky, some of it was truly romantic. And the dream I had last night was truly romantic. So much so, I doubt it was what really happened. But who knows. Maybe it did.

What I do know is it's Thanksgiving tomorrow. I've decided the only way I can decide is to find out whether I can trust Liam enough to tell him I'm a vampire. I could trust Damon with my body, heart and soul. But can I trust Liam with a secret? Honestly, I don't think I can. I'll see what happens tomorrow. If I don't feel I can, I'll know it is because there is only one person I truly trust and that will be my way of deciding how to move forward. I won't make it obvious at first. I'll allow myself to get to know Damon again. If I find he is the man in my journal, then I doubt it will take long for us to get back together. But I suspect Damon has enough patience to wait for me.

This is what the dream did for me. It made me reconsider my options regarding Damon. If he is my soulmate, we'll find our way back to each other, regardless of whether I have my memories or not. Maybe it's a good thing I don't.

E

...the previous night's dream

Elena was deep in thought when she and Damon arrived back at her dorm. When she'd crossed the magical border into Mystic Falls, she'd seen glimpses of their past, but one stuck in her mind as it had lasted longer than the others, and she'd had chance to feel a little bit of something she'd experienced at the time.

"I remembered something out there, just bits and pieces, but, um... There were these stars, and then it started to rain." Elena told Damon.

"When you became a vampire, part of me was thrilled because suddenly there was this possibility I could have you in my life forever." Damon frowned, clearly not listening to her. "But then the other part of me was devastated because I realized you'd lost the life that you wanted to have."

"It started to rain, and then what happened, Damon?" Elena asked.

"And since I've been gone, you've gotten part of that life back." Damon said sadly. "You're thriving, you're happy. Yeah, sure. Maybe you'd be happy if we gave it another chance, but the truth is is... You're better off without me." he agreed with himself.

"What are you talking about?" Elena frowned.

"I died. You started over." Damon told her. "I need you to live your life. Be happy. I love you, Elena. Enough to let you go." he said his eyes cast down in sadness as Elena continue. to look at him.

"It started to rain, and then what?" Elena insisted, desperate to know whether what she'd seen was real or not.

"It got cold and muddy." Damon sighed. "You were miserable, so we got in the car and... We drove home." he added as he turned to leave.

"Don't lie to me Damon." Elena called out as she vamp-sped over to him and grabbed hold of his arm. "I saw some of what happened, I remember. I just need you to fill in the bits that I didn't see." she pleaded.

"What's the point?" Damon asked. "It won't help you remember what it felt like being there." he said trying to pull his arm free.

"Well then show me." Elena insisted.

"What?!" Damon asked looking horrified.

"I know you can get inside people's heads." Elena said. "I haven't taken any vervain. So show me what happened." she demanded. "I need to know. Look come inside my dorm, we'll have a drink and just show me. I felt something out there, I don't know what it was, but I need to feel it again."

"You felt something?" Damon frowned. "I thought you said I'm like a stranger."

"Yes you are a stranger in some ways but not in others." Elena sighed. "The man I know you are and can see in front of me is a stranger compared to the man I remember. You said it yourself, my memories aren't real, they're fake. However one of them isn't, but it isn't whole and you can give me back that memory." she said. "Something happened when I experienced that memory, but it was too quick. I want to feel it all. Experience it all." she pleaded.

"And what if I lie?" Damon raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that what you'd expect the monster you know to do?" he asked as Elena lowered her head.

"Yes." she nodded. "But I know you're not that monster, and I know you won't lie to me unless it is to protect me." Elena told him. "But you don't know exactly what I saw or felt. So if what you show me is a lie, even if it is to protect me Damon, I'll know!" she warned him.

"Elena." Damon frowned. "I don't think this is a good idea. Like I said, you started over. I want you to be happy, and if that means the only way for you to be happy is for me not to be in your life, then I don't want to be part of it."

"But that's not your decision to make." Elena insisted, opening the door to the dorm and pulling a very reluctant Damon inside. "Just because I'm happy doesn't mean I can't be even happier." she insisted. "Do you want the best for me?" she asked.

"Yes." Damon agreed.

"And what if you being in my life is the best thing for me. Would you want that?" Elena raised an eyebrow as Damon slowly nodded. "Good, now we've got that settled, I need to find out more about what I saw and felt." she said.

"I can show you what happened, and even to some degree put yourself in your shoes, show you what you say. But I can't give you your feelings, because I don't exactly know what it felt like to be you at the time." Damon admitted.

"That's fine." Elena smiled. "I'm a big girl, I can work it out." she told him. "Bourbon or vodka?"

Damon grimaced at the notion of vodka. "Bourbon." he frowned, sitting down on Elena's bed as she poured them both a drink. "Have you switched to vodka?" he asked.

"I prefer bourbon, but I can't have people smelling it on me when I'm at the hospital, so I have to stick to vodka during the day." she shrugged as she walked back over to him with two glasses of bourbon, passing him his drink before sitting down on the bed next to him.

Damon took his drink from Elena , however he also took hers from her hand and put them on the nightstand.

"When I go inside your head, you'll think you are there and you'll drop your drink." Damon told her. "Wouldn't want to waste a perfectly good glass of bourbon now would we?" he smirked.

Elena rolled her eyes. "Fine." she sighed. "You ready?" she asked.

Damon nodded. "You?" he replied as Elena smiled and nodded back.

Suddenly they were no longer in the dorm. Instead she was stood, holding hands with Damon looking up at the skies as a meteor shower started. Her heart pounded and stomach contracted with a sensation Elena couldn't remember feeling with such intensity before, yet it felt completely normal standing there with Damon and experiencing it. The moment didn't last long as huge drops of rain began to pour from the sky.

"Come on." Damon laughed. "It's time to abandon ship.

"No, no, no, wait." Elena insisted, shaking her head and laughing. "Just give it a second. It'll clear up."

Just as Elena said that, the rain came down even harder. Damon looked at her with the most tender look on his face and Elena's heart melted more than she knew was even possible. Damon leaned over and pressed his lips against hers.

Elena suspected this was why Damon had been reluctant to show her what really happened. He clearly felt uncomfortable kissing her when he felt she wasn't giving her consent. But as far as Elena was concerned, by allowing Damon to give her the memory back, this was a form of consent. What Damon didn't know was Elena was fully aware of how she'd felt when she had the snippet of memory earlier, meaning this felt a lot more real to her than he could possibly envisage. Elena was feeling exactly what she'd felt that night, just before she started college. Before Damon died and before she wiped him from her memories. This was a snapshot of how much she loved him and how he loved her. And it was incredible. There was nothing to compare to. Her relationship with Stefan was the last one she could remember, and her feelings for him were nothing compared to how she felt for Damon.

If Elena though her emotions were incredible, nothing could prepare her for intensity of his kiss. Keeping hold of her hands, he pulled her in as their lips met. The kiss wasn't a sexual one, it was a kiss of love. One which had been practiced between them for some time. While apart, their lips were wet and cold from the rain, yet the moment they came together, there was warmth and love. The kiss was full of promise and commitment, destined to last for all eternity. Eventually after a few moments they broke apart, and Elena wanted to know if what she felt was the same as what Damon was experiencing.

"Promise me this is forever." Elena smiled breathlessly. The thought of being separated from Damon was unthinkable. If she lost him, she'd lose part of herself.

Damon's eyes glistened. "I promise." he replied with the biggest smile on his face as he kissed her once more.

This time the promise in the kiss wasn't just about forever, it was also about the rest of that night and what promises could be made for when they got home. Damon wrapped his arms around Elena's waist and pulled her in tight as she stood on her tiptoes and cupped his face with her hand. Their tongues met with a heated exploration, a taste of what was to come. Heat pooled inside the pit of Elena's stomach at the prospect of how she and Damon would spend the rest of the night. However that hope was cut short as she suddenly found herself back in her dorm, feeling all hot and bothered.

"Why did you stop?" Elena frowned.

"Because we went home." Damon shrugged. "Speaking of which..." he said getting up. "It's time for me to leave. Goodbye Elena." he said sadly.

"Oh no you don't!" Elena vamp-sped to the door and stood with her back to it. "You don't get off that easily." she turned and locked it, before looking back at Damon. "You could at least finish your drink while we talk." she suggested as Damon sighed, walked back to the bed and sat down.

"What is there to talk about?" he asked sadly. "It was one beautiful moment in a million beautiful moments we shared together. I can't give them all back to you. They would be my memories not yours. That was different because you already knew some of it." Damon explained, looking forlorn.

"So what happened after we got home?" Elena asked.

"We got out of those wet clothes." Damon replied noncommittally.

Elena smiled and nodded, realizing he was holding back. "If that's all that happened, why won't you show me?" she asked.

Damon closed his eyes and sighed. "Elena..." he started.

"Damon, I felt something." Elena admitted as Damon opened his eyes and frowned with surprise. "I know how I felt that night, and it was...wonderful." she smiled. "I want that again."

"Ric took your memories away and they're never coming back." Damon told her sadly looking to the floor.

Elena put a reassuring hand on Damon's knee. "I know that." she whispered. "And it will probably be the greatest regret of my life. But I don't want the impact of my decision to be everlasting." she told him. "You promised me forever."

Damon looked back up at her. "That was when you knew and loved me. That woman is gone." he said quietly.

"She's right here." Elena insisted. "It is the compulsion. It's like you said, fake. When you gave me that image, I felt my love for you." she told him. "And now, I can sense it. I know that love is reserved only for you and I'm not prepared to give it up without a fight. And if you love me, neither will you!" she insisted.

"We're not perfect Elena." Damon shook his head. "We fight and argue... a lot." he admitted.

"I should hope so!" Elena grinned. "Someone has to keep you on the straight and narrow." she added as Damon looked at her suspiciously.

"I'm still not giving you the rest of the memory." Damon shook his head.

Elena cupped Damon's face in her hands and forced him to face her. "It's my memory too." she insisted. "I know I forfeited my rights to that when I asked Ric to take it away, but I need to know the parts of my life which are missing. To fill in the blanks. And only you can do that." she whispered, letting go of Damon's face. "But first I need to know something." she lowered her eyes shyly.

"What?" Damon frowned.

"I need to know whether it is only my memory of our time together which is forgotten." she explained. "Just because my mind doesn't remember, that doesn't mean I don't still love you. I just need this to be reminded of what it felt like being with you. I'm sure my heart and soul will remember." she said.

"Ric took away the memories that made you fall in love with me." Damon insisted.

"And I got one of them back. And it's already affecting me." Elena pleaded. "I want to know if it's possible for me to remember how I felt, without the memories." she whispered.

"How?" Damon asked.

"Kiss me." Elena replied.

"This is torture for me." Damon complained. "If you don't feel it..." he started.

"Then it will be one last kiss." Elena suggested. "So make it count." she told him.

"It's not going to all come flooding back Elena." Damon sighed.

"I know the memories wont." Elena agreed. "But if my feelings are still there even without the memories, we've got something to work with, something I am not prepared to lose." she insisted. "Now kiss me, just like the first time."

"Okay." Damon whispered. "I'll try."

Damon stroked Elena on the cheek, causing her heart to thud. As she looked into his icy blue eyes, she had to admit he was probably the most beautiful looking man she'd ever met. From her remaining previous memories, it wasn't something which had ever occurred to her before. In fact, her distaste for him had marred his appearance. Now it felt like she was noticing how beautiful his eyes were for the first time. Elena felt she was allowed to admire his sculptured cheekbones and soft lips. She had a desire to run her fingers through his soft raven locks, but she decided to hold back, because even though they had been together for a long time, to her it still felt a little forward and too intimate. However now, after her little vision, she could let herself imagine his beauty even more. Because Elena knew, if she'd been as in love with him as she'd just witnessed in the snapshot of their life, then he must be just as beautiful inside, she just needed to see it and feel it. Then she knew her feelings for him would come back, even if her memories didn't.

They tentatively moved closer to one another. Damon's lips brushed up against Elena's, causing emotions to overwhelm her. His kiss was loving and gentle, and their dream memory kiss in the rain was nothing compared to feeling it in person. The main thing however, was Elena recognized the sensation which she'd experienced before in the memory. One which seemed to be unique to kissing Damon. An overwhelming sense of joy, finally being home, and feeling safe. But this kiss wasn't completely unfamiliar. Elena remembered Damon had once kissed her on the porch of her house and she'd found it inappropriate and told him so at the time. Yet now she knew something was off about that memory, something she couldn't put her finger on, but she suspected it had been altered. If she'd have enjoyed it then as much as she was enjoying it now, it was probably another clue to the puzzle of what memories were real and what weren't.

When Damon tried to break away from the kiss, Elena felt a loss so great, she wanted to cry. It seemed the only part of her which didn't recognize Damon as her partner were her memories. Her body and heart clearly knew who he was and what he meant to her, she just wished she could remember why. However, there was no way she was going to let him stop kissing her, it was too good, too important and her body was clearly yearning for him in a way she had never felt before. Maybe it had been no coincidence she hadn't been bothered about sex, something which was practically unheard of in a vampire. She was only dating Liam to try to have some semblance of a love life, not because she truly felt much for him. He was nice and all, a friend who she was trying to build more with, but he didn't give her that same feeling as Damon did, even if she couldn't remember their past.

To stop him pulling away, Elena cupped Damon's face with one hand and wrapped the other around his neck, pulling him in tighter. She parted her lips, inviting him to claim her further, why she couldn't remember, but it was instinct which was driving her, and she was following it. Heat pooled in the pit of her stomach as Damon accepted her invitation and the kiss turned from almost chaste to fiery and passionate. Suddenly Elena had a desire to rip Damon's clothes off and do things she had never even dreamed of before. Now Elena understood why she'd been celibate and had absolutely no interest in sex. Her body just wasn't prepared to respond to being touched by anyone else except Damon. The kiss was setting her on fire, and if they didn't stop soon, Elena wouldn't be able to stop. Fortunately, Damon managed to have a semblance of self control and broke away from the kiss.

"Well that explains a lot." Elena laughed as Damon frowned with confusion. "The last person I remember having sex with was Stefan. Ever since I've had absolutely no desire to be with another man."

"What about Doctor Smartypants?" Damon raised an eyebrow.

"He's a friend who I felt had the potential for me to at least try to make more of our relationship." Elena shrugged.

"So what's the problem?" Damon asked.

"I've been trying so hard to convince myself to see him that way." Elena sighed. "But it's fake. It feels wrong."

"You'll meet someone." Damon told her.

"I already have." Elena said. "And I'm not letting him go. Especially as he promised me forever. I'm holding him to that promise." she smiled.

Damon rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat. "Okay, but if we're going to do this, we need to take it one step at a time. Not rush into anything you don't feel comfortable with." he said. "I can be patient."

Elena smiled triumphantly and took Damon's hand. "I want to know what happened after the rain." she said. "Although I do have a pretty good idea." she smirked.

"Just use your imagination." Damon suggested. "It's probably best that way if Stefan is the last person you remember having sex with." he grimaced.

"If we start where we left off, I was part of the memory and I felt everything." Elena explained. "I think I'll feel and experience everything the same way as I did the first time, if we just continue from where we left off." she said. "Nothing will change from what actually happened."

"Isn't that like having sex on a first date?" Damon asked.

"Uh-uh." Elena shook her head. "You're just reminding me of something that already happened and I have experienced." she explained. "It's like watching a movie of something which happened in the past, except being part of it."

"A porn movie." Damon raised an eyebrow.

"I think I'm old enough to watch and experience porn." Elena smirked.

"A pretty hardcore porn movie for someone as inexperienced as yourself." he warned her.

"Now I'm intrigued." Elena narrowed her eyes as she wondered quite how interesting her and Damon's sex life was.

"Starring yours truly." Damon pointed at himself.

"Is Damon Salvatore going all shy and embarrassed on me?" Elena laughed. "Well now I've seen it all. I'm a trainee doctor. There's nothing you've got that I've never seen before." she insisted.

"Elena, it's pretty hardcore. It's not just the basic stuff. I think you might find yourself a little embarrassed, considering you still see me as a stranger." he sighed.

"Now I'm definitely intrigued." Elena smirked. "I'm guessing we had a fairly incredible and varied sex life." she guessed.

"Look I'm trying to do you a favor Elena." Damon sighed. "If we do this, you won't look at another man." he shook his head. "Either that or you'll never be able to look me in the eye again." he frowned.

"I remember Bree saying something about you ruining her expectations of other men." Elena insisted. "Considering my non-existent sex life, even without memories, I think it's already had the same effect on me too." she folded her arms. "So I might as well find out what did the damage."

"Okay." Damon sighed. "I'll put you back in your body in the vision. But if you feel uncomfortable, you can change as much of it as you want. If it comes out almost exactly the same, then we can safely say you've got some memory of our previous intimate life, and your feelings are the same, you just need to remember how we got there."

"That's exactly what I want." Elena smiled. "Look Damon, whatever happened in the past has gone, I'd just like to know a little of it. Going forward, we can make new memories instead. But for this little exercise, I think we should get more comfortable first." she suggested as she lay down on the bed and patted the space next to her.

Damon removed his boots and awkwardly lay next to her, however Elena broke the ice and rested her head on Damon's chest taking in his scent, her instinct telling her this was normal for them. She wrapped her arm around Damon's waist and sighed. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe, secure and restful. Her own assessment of Damon being her soulmate was now beginning to suddenly feel all too real, but in a good way. Elena felt excited about what the future would hold for the two of them. She was finally in the arms of the man she couldn't bear to leave, even if right now he did feel like a stranger. She just hoped the rest of the memory would cure that as it would break down the physical barrier without actually going there and having sex so soon.

Elena closed her eyes and once again they were stood out in the rain, getting wet. They'd stopped kissing, however Damon still had his arms around Elena's waist. The feeling Elena had the last time Damon had shown her the memory returned, and suddenly she knew him again, even if she still couldn't remember their past. Elena suspected that was the only difference between what she felt then and what she felt this time.

"How about we get out of here?" Damon suggested with a mischievous grin on his face.

"As long as you promise to warm me up when we get home." Elena smiled.

"I promise." Damon nodded as he took her hand and led her to the car.

They drove back to the boarding house in silence. Not a word was needed. The air was thick with sexual anticipation and neither of them seemed to want to ruin it. All Elena could think about was all of the ways she and Damon could warm each other up. Ranging from being on the bedroom floor in front of the fire, to soaking in a hot bath together. All of which sounded appealing until they opened the front door and both options seemed too lengthy. Elena didn't want to wait for a bath and she wasn't sure she was going to be able to make it to the bedroom without ripping Damon's clothes off first, even without lighting a fire. Not that it mattered, her fire was already lit and burning with desire for the man in front of her.

Elena pushed Damon's jacket over his shoulders as she began to kiss him. She pushed him up against the wall, making sure he knew she was in charge and she wasn't prepared to wait. Damon was clearly as eager as she was as he returned the favor and easily dispatched of her sodden jacket. Elena ripped his t-shirt open and ran her hands down his chest, scraping her fingernails all the way down, just the way he liked it, even though how Elena knew that, she had no idea. Clearly this surprised Damon too as he ran his fingers into Elena's damp hair and pulled her towards him and kissed her with a passion Elena only thought existed in novels and movies.

Damon tugged at the hem of Elena's top and pulled it over her head, leaving her stood in her just her bra and soaking wet jeans. Elena moved to kiss Damon once more and unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them off of his hips. This time his clothes were a little more difficult to remove as they were practically stuck to him. Due to the difficulty of the wet clothes issue, they both wordlessly knew to finish off removing their jeans and shoes themselves, leaving them in just their underwear, otherwise they'd spend all evening trying to take off each other's jeans, losing the sexual momentum they'd built up.

Soon they were free of their outer wet clothing. Instead they stood in just their underwear. Damon picked Elena up and she wrapped her legs around his hips while he held her with his hands around her waist. Elena clung onto Damon's neck as they kissed. Somehow, Damon managed to start walking, even though he couldn't see where he was going as Elena's damp hair enveloped them, however he clearly knew which direction he was going in, as soon she felt the heat of a roaring fire behind her. Elena knew only two rooms had fires lit, the parlor and the library. Judging by the length of time it had taken Damon to get to their destination, Elena guessed they were in the library.

For some reason, Elena had always preferred the library to the parlor. To her, it somehow felt more intimate and comfortable, especially when the room was only lit by the fire, which right now was the case. Damon sat on the brown leather couch in front of the fire, Elena's legs straddling his hips. At no point had their kissing stopped once since they'd finished removing their wet clothes and shoes. Damon delicately ran his fingernails up Elena's spine, prompting her to pull away from the kiss and throw her head back.

Damon took the opportunity run his tongue from Elena's cleavage up to her clavicle and back down, causing her to moan with pleasure while she ran her fingers through his now incredible messy, and damp hair, which had made it curl. She lifted her head and their eyes met. Elena had never seen him look so beautiful than at that moment. His piercing blue eyes were dark with lust, filled with a deep fire of desire, just for her. He'd promised she'd be the only one for the rest of eternity, and Elena knew without a shadow of a doubt, he meant it and he would honor his words and do whatever he could to ensure he kept his vow.

Elena felt the snap of her bra being unfastened, as Damon removed it and threw it on the floor. He took one of her breast in his mouth and began to lick and suck on her nipple, causing it to pebble. Elena rocked her hips as she felt the heat of desire burning in the pit of her stomach. As she did, her core brushed up against Damon's huge tented erection, drawing a low moan from Damon's lips, which made her core ache with desire for him.

With the ache in her core, came the rush of blood to her eyes, causing them to tingle, and she felt her fangs elongate. Elena looked at Damon who had a look of wonderment in his eyes, he clearly knew what she had in mind and was more than willing to participate. He cocked his head to one side, exposing his carotid artery to her as she felt her mouth water at the sight.

Elena lowered her head to Damon's neck, taking in his familiar scent of sandalwood and bourbon, mixed with leather. Her teeth pierced his neck and the red nectar flowed from his veins into her mouth. Elena took care not to take much, just enough for the sexual rush it would give them both. While she was doing that, Damon's hand had made it's way inside her panties and he expertly was massaging her clit. With his spare hand, he tucked her hair behind her shoulder and bit her neck.

From that moment on, every touch, every smell, every taste became heightened. Elena freed Damon's shaft from the cotton confines of his boxer briefs and initially began to stroke his erection, before wrapping her fingers tightly around him and pumping him with more vigor. They pulled away from their blood-sharing and kissed, fangs still bared, knowing they would draw blood as their tongues met. But they didn't care. Their blood would merge in their mouths, and as they swallowed the sweet unified blood mixture, it would be taste which was uniquely theirs. The result made them feel high on each other, both physically and metaphorically.

Blood-sharing was notoriously personal, however this type of blood-sharing was even more so. It took a great amount of trust for two vampires to draw blood and kiss at the same time. There was an intimacy in which hardly any vampire would engage in with another. If one of them had been cheating, the other would sense it. Only those who were committed to one another for eternity would ever indulge, and even then most wouldn't as the high a vampire would get from the mixed blood and saliva was incredible, it enhanced everything. However, with every high, there was always a potential for there to be a low which involved learning something about their partner they didn't want to know, and that had the potential to be devastating. Damon and Elena knew each other at their worst, therefore there was nothing they could do to each other which would hurt them enough to destroy their relationship.

Their hands began to roam one another's bodies. With their skin sensitive from the high of drinking each other's blood the feeling was far more intimate than usual. This type of making love was something they only indulged in when they were feeling particularly romantic and bonded. It was as if they were getting to know each other for the first time. Elena's hands explored every crevice and plane of Damon's chest, while he got to know her back and spine, making his way down the curves of her behind. As he did, Elena pushed herself up, allowing Damon to pull her panties down, while Damon lifted his hips for Elena to do the same with his boxer briefs.

Finally they were naked, in their most vulnerable form, and with each other, it was their favorite way to be. For two vampires in a relationship, sex had nothing to do with libido, instead it had everything to do with emotions. The more in love they felt at that moment, the more they would need to make love. For a single vampire, sex was there to replicate a relationship, libido was purely based on how lonely they were. Due to their heightened emotions, this meant vampires required sex far more than humans, and those who'd committed to eternity together, they would often try to be more creative in their lovemaking, as eternity was a long time to be with only one sexual partner. In that sense, Damon and Elena were no different to other vampires.

Damon and Elena had agreed, over time, as long as each consented, nothing was off the cards sexually. If anything, more unusual the sex was a sign of trust. Although they weren't at the stage of ball gags, whips and knives yet, trussing each other up, handcuffs and blindfolds had been used, along with mild spanking. The last thing either of them wanted to do was physically hurt one another, however vampires had an incredibly high tolerance for pain, and mild pain during sex only heightened the pleasure, as once again it was all about trust. This was something they had in abundance, and as long as they had their privacy, they were open to most things.

Although they hadn't been together long, and in theory their sex lives shouldn't need spicing up with toys and kinky games at this point, they both liked to have fun during sex. For Elena, this was a sign she was growing into a woman. She was experiencing a sexual curiosity which she'd never contemplated before. Previously sex had been missionary and nice, but with Damon, like everything else, it had become exciting and adventurous and unexpected. Often so passionate it consumed Elena, and she, more often than not, was the one to press for new and interesting things to explore. This was probably because Damon was an extremely experienced lover and there was most likely very little he hadn't tried, although that was a conversation they hadn't yet had. Therefore it was down to Elena to suggest things she would be comfortable and ready to indulge in. For this, Damon had little boxes of useful items placed in safes around the house.

Not all of the rooms contained a safe, however there was one in the library, which Elena suspected was why Damon had chosen this room as opposed to the parlor. There was also the added bonus of it being slightly more private. There was only one entrance to the library open, as the other doors were currently locked, and it was far down the hallway, away from the front door to the house. Anyone unexpected, who walked into the house would probably hear what they were up to and avoid getting an eyeful, something which wouldn't be possible had they been making love in the parlor. Therefore, although not entirely private, it was as good as they were going to get. The room also had interesting features which could be useful when Damon pulled out his little box of magic tricks, however utilizing their surroundings usually depended how desperate they were for each other, and right now they couldn't wait, therefore the balusters would have to.

In the meantime, they were working their bodies up by touch. Once Damon had removed Elena's panties, his hand returned to the base of her spine as he ran his fingers down the crack between her butt cheeks, gently touching her most intimate of places, until his fingers reached her core, where he dipped one finger inside her, which was already damp with desire. Elena cried out with pleasure as she thought she was almost ready to come around his finger, however Damon removed it before she got the chance, leading her to pout with disappointment.

Damon lifted Elena's leg to one side, so she was no longer straddling him and stood up. He walked over to the wall and pushed one of the panels, revealing a safe. Damon then pressed some numbers into the safe, which opened, and he pulled out what looked like a small ornate dark wooden chest. He closed the safe before returning to Elena and placing the box on the table next to her. Elena got on her knees for a better look before opening the box to reveal a multitude of sex toys, all cleaned and ready to go. There was even a bottle of coconut oil to aid lubrication. Damon made his way behind Elena and knelt down on the couch with her back up against his chest. Elena could feel his erection poking into her back as he started to kiss her neck and shoulder, while his hands roamed around the front of her body, one of them reaching her nub and gently massaging it.

"Ladies choice." he whispered seductively into her ear between kisses.

"For both of us?" she asked as Damon smiled and nodded, clearly trusting her judgment.

Elena rummaged around the box at some of the more brightly colored items, but none of them particularly interested her. She knew what she wanted as they'd already tried a few of them out. She pulled out four items plus the bottle of coconut oil, and handed them over to Damon who examined them carefully.

"His and hers butt plugs. A vibrator and a vibrating cock ring." he grinned. "I think this will give us a buzz." he added as Elena slapped him on the arm. "You wanting a riding crop as well?" he joked.

"We don't have to use anything." Elena stated, sticking her nose in the air.

"True." Damon agreed. "We'll just put these back." he started, knowing full well Elena would stop him.

"Okay, maybe not." she grinned, turning around so she was laying on the couch underneath Damon, who lowered his head and kissed her, before sitting up and grabbing the coconut oil.

Damon rubbed the coconut oil over the butt plugs to ensure they were well lubricated. Elena had chosen small ones which was enough to ensure additional sensation during sex. Damon spread some of the coconut oil on his finger while Elena turned over and got on all fours. He kissed her back relaxing her, before slipping his finger into the crevice of her behind. Gently he worked the oil into her with his finger, preparing her for the invasion of the cold metal toy. Finally he spread her cheeks apart and slowly pushed the butt plug inside her until it was all of the way in, giving her a unique sensation of being filled.

Once he'd finished, Elena did the same to him, ensuring it was fitted correctly. This wasn't their first time using butt plugs, therefore they knew how to relax each other to put them in place without discomfort. After they were both ready, Elena lay on her back as Damon kissed her stomach.

Damon's fingers traced a line up Elena's slit, moments later his hot tongue followed the same path until it found her nub. Damon spread her folds and began to explore her labia and clit with his mouth as he inserted the vibrator inside her and switched it on. Elena squealed at the initial shock of the cold vibrating metal inside her, however she quickly became accustomed to it as Damon thrust it in and out of her core. His mouth worked furiously on her nub, sending electric shocks which seemed to be interwoven with the vibrations coming from the sex toy.

What had initially been a cold toy, was turning into an inferno of pleasure as the inside of her core became a melting pot of desire. The vibrator was slick with her juices, which were overflowing. Her body was suddenly out of control as the throbbing inside her core turned into white hot spasms, which were fighting against the butt plug and the vibrator.

"Oh...oh...fuck..." she whimpered. "Damon...ahhh." Elena screamed as the grabbed his hair while he continued to suck on the small bundle of nerves which was now controlling her mind and body. Her hips bucked in the air as Damon pressed down on her stomach to try and control her. Elena's back arched and her body went rigid as she reached her ultimate peak. At this point, Damon knew she was coming down from her high, as he slowed down his actions with his mouth and turned off the vibrator, slowly removing it from her core.

After a few seconds, Elena's breathing returned to a more normal pattern as she sat back up on the couch and giggled, while her legs felt like jello. Damon leaned over and kissed her as he passed her the vibrating cock ring and sat on the couch, waiting patiently, allowing Elena to do the honors. This was the first time they'd used this particular model, and she'd chosen it because it was one of the easier ones to put on. Elena simply slipped it over his already erect length and slid it down to the base, resting it on his balls with a vibrating part at the top, designed to stimulate her clit.

Once on, Elena licked the end of Damon's shaft, tasting the saltiness of his pre-cum, causing him to hiss. She took him in her hand and pumped him up and down a few times before turning the little device on. As soon as she did, Damon's eyes rolled into the back of his head and his lips parted, before he managed to compose himself once again. He held onto Elena's hips and helped her straddle him, lowering her gently on top of him.

Slowly he entered her as Elena allowed her weight to press down on his length, gradually filling and stretching her core, which was already aching for him once more. As her clit brushed up against the cock ring, Elena felt the shock of the electric sensation. This, combined with the butt plug was adding additional stimulation on top of stimulation. Elena was still feeling light headed from the blood sharing and her previous orgasm. Her clit was already extremely sensitive, so she knew she wouldn't last long before her body gave in to the intense pleasure.

They moved together in unison, as Elena circled her hips while Damon thrust his shaft inside her, each movement making her more and more sensitive by the added vibrations from the cock ring and the sensation of fullness from the butt plug being inside her while Damon was also inside her. As they built up a rhythm, they kissed and held each other tightly, because they were still making love, and their emotions were still guiding them, even if they did want to have a little bit of fun with it.

After a few moments, Damon stood up from the couch and Elena wrapped her legs around his waist so they stayed joined together as one. Damon then got down on his knees and lay Elena on her back as he hovered above her. The sensations were building them both up to their climax and they knew neither of them would last much longer, which was why Damon had moved them to the floor.

Once on top Damon thrust inside Elena harder as she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist to give him better access for deeper penetration. Elena moved her hips in time with his, even though their pace was getting quicker. This suited Elena as the throbbing inside her was building up to a level she'd rarely experienced. The ring was stimulating her therefore Damon didn't need to work his magical fingers, which to Elena was the only downside to the toy. She liked his attention and no matter how good the ring was, it wasn't as personal as when Damon did it.

On the other hand, the ring allowed Damon to stroke her body, which he wouldn't be able to do without it. This was the main reason they had started to use it. Touching each other during making love was something they enjoyed as a connection to one another. Elena loved to feel Damon's hair and chest, while Damon loved to stroke the side of Elena's body, ghosting his fingers up and down her, all the while kissing for that extra connection, uniting them as one being.

They broke away from their kiss when they started to near their respective orgasms. Simultaneously they picked up the pace of thrusting as Elena's aching, throbbing core began to spasm, with a white hot numbness she could never explain. The contractions seemed to press against the butt plug, which felt as if she were having an orgasm in every orifice of her body. This feeling was only exasperated as she felt the tingling around her eyes once more and her fangs elongate. Elena was not able to put up any resistance to her body's natural urges and cravings as her mouth made it's way to Damon's neck. The next moment her body felt like it had exploded into a million pieces and she was flying with pleasure.

Elena managed to pull away from Damon's neck for a moment. "Fuck me Damon...argh..." she cried out as her body went rigid and her back arched. "I love you." she managed to whisper as her fangs pierced Damon's neck once more.

Damon's body reacted automatically to Elena's orgasm. "Elena...fuck...uh...uh..." he cried as his fangs plunged into Elena's neck and he began to suck her blood, making her immediately lightheaded. The next moment Elena felt his warm seed fill her, as their orgasms began to subside.

Their fangs retracted and Damon rested his forehead against Elena's for a moment before the kissed lazily. "I love you too." Damon whispered as he pulled out of Elena and rolled over onto his back, to momentarily catch his breath. He turned the cock ring off and removed it, before grabbing the blanket from the back of the sofa to cover them up while they lay in front of the fire.

"Mmmm." Elena sighed dreamily.

"We'll take the plugs out later in the bath." Damon said. "You okay?" he asked as Elena snuggled up to him.

"I'm better than okay." she grinned. "You?"

"Surprised." Damon smiled. "I thought you might try and change the memory. But you didn't. You let it remain exactly as it happened that night. I'm impressed." he looked said as he kissed her on the forehead.

"Why did you think I'd change it?" Elena asked.

"Think about the last time you remember having slept with someone." Damon said. "How old were you?" he asked.

Elena thought for a moment. "I was seventeen." she admitted.

"Can you remember how adventurous you were back then?" he asked.

"Sex was still kind of new." Elena said. "It was an adventure in itself."

"Which was why I didn't think you'd allow the memory to continue. I thought you'd be too shocked and embarrassed." he said.

"I'm going to be honest, I was expecting something a little different." Elena smiled. "I think I'd have been disappointed with plain old missionary." she winked. "But it would have been pointless me changing anything because the dream was to try and make me remember that night."

"So what do you think to that night?" Damon asked.

"It was amazing. Thank you for helping me remember." she smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Do you want to wake up and talk about it?" Damon asked as Elena nodded sadly.

Elena opened her eyes and looked around her dorm. She was lying in her bed, however, to her surprise, Damon wasn't next to her. She sat up and looked down at herself, seeing she was dressed in her tank top and sleep shorts, which confused her. Had Damon changed her into her night clothes and left before pulling her out of the memory dream? Something was clearly wrong. Elena picked up her pillow and sniffed it. She could smell Damon's scent, but it was very faint, as if it were days old, not from minutes or hours ago.

Then it dawned on her. Damon hadn't taken her through the memory, it had been a dream. One of the dreams she'd read about in her 'other' journal. The one where she kept her secret sexual desires about Damon. He'd only been back a few days and she was already dreaming about him. It occurred to her that she was already drawn to him, and no matter how much she tried to pull away, it was impossible.

Elena got up and retrieved her naughty journal from the top drawer of her dresser and picked up a pen, before sitting back down on her bed. She bit the end of the pen before she started to write. The problem with this entry was she didn't know entirely what was fact and what was fiction. She remembered Damon leaving, but the dream was more of a mystery. Had the entire memory of the night in the rain returned? Or was it just a dream? One thing was for certain, there was no way in hell she was going to ask Damon whether they used sex toys that night. Instead, the memory would be shared between only her and the pages of her journal as she began to write. Dear Diary...

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They are always appreciated.

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Mandzipop.