...okay, so because writing in Saguru's POV is apparently a thing I like to do now or something (he is so Done with everything but mostly with Kaito), have another thousand (?!) vaguely crack-ish words from this verse, I guess?
outtakes (Or, Hakuba Saguru Has Done Nothing To Deserve This, And Yet)
It begins like this – Kuroba pops up beside his desk one afternoon, which is not in itself an unusual event these days. "Hey, Hakuba?"
"What," Saguru says flatly, completely failing to insert any form of questioning tone into the word whatsoever. He's in the middle of an actually decent mystery novel, for once, and he absolutely detests getting interrupted midway through one of these. A fact he could've sworn Kuroba had noticed by now, actually.
Kuroba ignores his complete lack of enthusiasm, because of course he does. Saguru doesn't even know why he bothers anymore. "How hot does air need to get before it ionises?"
"More than a hundred thousand degrees Kelvin, I believe." Saguru doesn't even bat an eyelash before answering. "Though I'm fairly certain you're capable of the calculations yourself."
He's half-expecting a sarcastic retort in answer to that one, but instead Kuroba merely makes a non-committal sound of agreement before vanishing again.
Saguru turns another page of his book, and very carefully does not wonder what that was about.
.
(They get a substitute teacher for ability training exactly once.
Saguru is helping Aoko set up the waterproof targets for her own practice when the somewhat confused-looking teacher walks over. "Hakuba-kun? Komoe-sensei left a note saying that under no circumstances should I allow Kuroba-kun within a metre of you during practice. Why is that?"
"Well," Saguru answers diplomatically, because he's long since learned that the very concept of being within earshot has an entirely new meaning around an aerokinetic like Kuroba, "I'm working with open fire, you see. And Kuroba-kun is a master at disruption by air, if you get my drift."
The substitute glances at Kuroba – who is, at the moment, engaged in the relatively harmless exercise of hands-free juggling – before turning back to them. "I see. I'll keep an eye on him, then."
Don't bother, Saguru is almost tempted to tell her.
Which turns out to be applicable anyway, since Kuroba manages to create enough of an air current even at that distance – Saguru suspects something involving the air vents – that Saguru's eyebrow has developed a seemingly permanent twitch by the end of class.
It works out reasonably well in the end, though, when Saguru is rewarded with the extremely satisfying spectacle of Aoko very carefully and deliberately firing her last water jet at Kuroba instead, thoroughly drenching him from head to toe.
(Saguru helps to corroborate her story that she simply slipped on the wet floor and missed her target. It could've happened to anyone else, after all.)
Kuroba whines about them ganging up on him for the rest of the day. It's mildly annoying, but Saguru follows Aoko's lead and simply ignores him, and that leads the magician to flop bonelessly onto Aoko's desk and look dolefully at her instead. "You like Hakuba better than me," he says with an exaggerated pout.
"Well, you did start it first, Kaito." Saguru wonders if resistance to the antics of a certain magician thief runs in the Nakamori family, because Aoko doesn't even look bothered in the least. "Besides, that last jet was at least fifty times weaker than all the rest, so Aoko doesn't see any reason to complain. Unless you'd prefer Aoko not to hold back next time
Kuroba is still spluttering in indignation when Aoko turns to Saguru instead. "Speaking of which, Hakuba-kun, about that shape manipulation technique you were talking about earlier – ")
.
The night sky is particularly ominous tonight.
Or perhaps that's just Saguru's own steadily growing sense of foreboding. Though the latter is getting to be an increasingly familiar sentiment, these days.
(Wonder why that is, he thinks, tone dry as ashes.)
A small fireball flares into existence, hovering steadily in front of Saguru, a familiar and welcome crackle of heat against the freezing winds on the roof.
To be more precise – the howling, almost gale-force, and freezing winds, which should logically have rendered any form of glider flight impossible.
Saguru sighs, and unclips the standard-issue police radio from his belt, because he really couldn't justify putting it off any longer.
"Hakuba to all Task Force members. It appears that earlier eyewitness reports were unfortunately accurate, and I am forced to conclude that – " he squints upwards, to where a white figure is visibly moving unassisted across the moonlit sky, " – indeed, Kaitou Kid has learned to fly."
This elicits a long and detailed string of curses from Nakamori-keibu, followed by a last, half-desperate question. "You're sure, Hakuba-kun?"
"Positive visual identification, yes," Saguru confirms, and does not add: by the way – just theoretically speaking, of course – is it aiding and abetting a criminal if I offer help to a classmate purely out of the desire to not see him go splat on the ground?
The inspector is issuing a string of new orders to various Task Force teams now, and Saguru listens absently, allowing himself to bask in the fire's warmth a while longer before he dispels it and steps away from the shelter of the roof access stairwell. He doesn't want to risk a fireball burning unchecked while he's distracted, after all, and he does have a phantom thief to deal with.
One who is landing on the roof at that very moment in an excessively dramatic pose, because one of them has clearly been watching far too many superhero movies, and it certainly isn't Saguru.
"Good evening, tantei-san!" Kaitou Kid says altogether too cheerfully, with a jaunty tip of the hat towards Saguru, who feels sparks jumping haphazardly from his fingertips despite himself.
"I am going to murder you and hide the body where Aoko-kun won't find it," Saguru growls, and just about stops himself from sending death by hellfire when Kid merely laughs in response.
.
It ends like this – Kuroba appears silently beside his desk on yet another afternoon, and this time Saguru doesn't even wait for him to start, nor does he bother looking up from the assignment he's working on. "What."
Kuroba has proven to possess an impeccable sense of the exact times at which Saguru hates to be disturbed the most. (A knowledge he grossly misuses, in Saguru's informed opinion.) "So, if I used a high-voltage power source to ionise the air, I wouldn't need to heat it up quite that much?"
"A sufficiently powerful capacitor should do... the trick..." Saguru trails off and sets down his pen sharply, because he's just realised what he's actually saying, and that – "Kuroba-kun. Are you trying to create plasma?"
Kuroba only grins before running off, and Saguru spares one second to pinch the bridge of his nose and long wearily for a time when he didn't have to worry about potential world annihilation as part of a normal school day.
Then he goes off in search of Aoko, because if this is his life now, at least he doesn't have to deal with it alone.
END
...am I finally done with this verse now? am I? ha ha. who even knows anymore because I certainly don't look I just wanted to play some more in this verse okay hush
all credit for the plasma idea goes to Accelerator from the Toaru aka Raildex light novel/manga/anime series – which comes highly recommended, and which I have shamelessly drawn on for this fic
all credit for any associated errors goes to the fact that the author is an engineering student who does not possess ambitions of making plasma. but afaik it basically requires ionising some percentage of air, which in turn requires a crapton of energy that could come from heating up the molecules (since Kaito is probably also capable of manipulation at a microscopic level, as opposed to the bulk fluid motions he'd need to fly), or another source like electricity. not sure about the world-destroying part, but Kaito could probably find a way and Saguru would really rather err on the safe side with this one? yeah