It's a Wonderfox Life III
Written by BeecroftA
Artwork by pyocolaxsama
The sound of running water hit Nick's ears as soon as the van doors were opened. Loud and fast, like a waterfall. He looked out past the two rams, and saw a narrow path lit by streetlamps and cloud-shrouded mountains in the background. His eyes widened, it couldn't be…
"Hey, his muzzle's off!" Jesse pointed out.
"Hold him down while I get it back on!" ordered Woolter, climbing into the truck. Nick felt a pair of hooves slam into his back and pin him down again while the black ram retrieved the muzzle from the floor and shoved it back on Nick's face, tightening the strap so hard Nick let out a whimper. "That's done it. Move it, Fox!" He grunted.
Nick didn't move, he could barely even think.
"I said move!" Woolter snarled as he grabbed Nick's paw and yanked him out of the van. Nick gathered himself as best he could with his cuffed paws before both rams picked him up by the armpits, turned him around, and made him start walking. Nick looked up and gasped.
Thunder boomed ominously across the dark sky over the towering hospital he now recognized as Cliffside Asylum. An institution set on a small island on top of a huge waterfall adjoined to the mainland by a narrow bridge, just like Nick remembered it. This was the place where he and Judy had found those missing mammals years ago. But the asylum was bigger now, with a new building atop an artificial island joining the main facility. It had a wire fence around it and bars covering all its windows which told Nick it was a cellblock, and something also told him it was no white collar prison. He looked around some more and noticed another difference: there were no wolf guards around now; all the officers that he could see were more rams, bulls, and oxen. No chance of starting a howl to get away this time.
"Your first time here, Fox?" Jesse sneered as they approached a small screen and speaker by the front door. "You'll have a ball – they love you vulpes in here."
He waved a plastic ID card at the screen, which flashed green. "Name and purpose?" asked a deep, accented and colourless voice coming out of the speaker. Nick gave a little start. That voice.
"Officers Pinkmerino and Whitewool, escorting a new inmate. Open!"
Then there was a loud BZZZ, and the double doors slid open. Nick was escorted through them into what looked like the lobby, and if he hadn't been wearing the muzzle his jaw would have dropped, for sitting at the end of the hall at the reception desk was none other than the hulking form of Chief Bogo, dressed in a white security guard uniform.
"Cheef!" Nick called as loud as he could through the muzzle. "Cheef Bo-go, than' goodneth it'th you!"
The Cape buffalo put on his glasses to greet them as the group approached the desk. It was then that Nick saw that Bogo's left arm was in a sling. He also looked surlier than usual, and more worn and grey than Nick had ever seen him. There were also numerous prescription bottles sitting on his desk.
"Cheef! It'th me, Nick!" Nick sputtered.
"Would you take that muzzle off his face? I can barely understand him," Bogo stated in a deadpan voice.
"No can do Buffalo-Butt, he's got pre-savagery psychosis," Jesse responded, "We take that off and he'll start biting at ya."
That threw Nick for a loop; he had called Bogo Buffalo-Butt before, but only behind his back; he would never ever have said that to the chief's face. But to his surprise, Bogo's only reaction was a snort and a flick of his ear.
"He doesn't look psychotic to me," Bogo retorted. "And if he starts biting I am sure we can protect ourselves. Mask off. Please."
With no small hint of reluctance Woolter undid the straps on the back of Nick's head, and once again Nick's face was given sweet freedom. He grabbed at the edge of Bogo's desk, staring directly in the Cape buffalo's eyes. "Chief! Chief, you gotta help me!" he panted.
"'Chief'? Why do you address me as such?" Bogo asked.
"It's what you are! It's – never mind! I don't know what's going on here but I know Bellwether's behind all this and these guys are in league with her! I can prove it if you just listen-"
"Okay, psychosis it is. Lock him up," said Bogo dispassionately.
"NO!" Nick yelled as the muzzle was forced over his mouth once again. "CHIEF, NO!" but his cries fell on deaf ears as the two rams took him away.
Nick was led down a dark hallway and into a little room, and it was there that his head was forced down and a black shock collar was strapped onto his neck. Woolter held up what looked like a barcode scanner to the collar box and it gave a beep and a little lightbulb on the box started glowing green. Nick ignored this, continuing to struggle against his bonds and against the muzzle still attached to his face.
"What say we give it a test run, Jesse?" asked Woolter.
"Well, why – not!" said Jesse. And he pulled out a remote and pressed a button:
BZZZZZ!
"AAAHHH!" Nick screamed and doubled over as the lightbulb turned red and the shock collar activated and electricity coursed from his neck through his body like a taser. His entire body seized up, he couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. Then the voltage stopped and Nick collapsed to the ground in a heap.
"Yep, it works," said Woolter with relish. And then, his eyes screwed shut from the pain Nick found himself being hoisted by the armpits and carried out of the room and down the hall. Then they stopped, he felt his pawcuffs being unlocked from around his wrists, and a familiar clanking and creaking sound told him a cell door was being opened.
"Get in there, Fox!" said Woolter, and Nick was thrown into the cell and the door slammed hard behind him. "We'll book ya later, meantime you two might as well get acquainted," the black ram sneered. Then he gestured to the other ram, "Come on Jesse, we can still catch the party in the breakroom." And the two buck sheep officers walked off.
A minute later Nick felt strength return to his limbs again, along with the unwelcome reminder that he was still wearing a muzzle. With a rush of anger he ripped the contraption off and threw it against the wall with all his might. Then a sudden jolt from the collar zapped him in the neck, making him drop to one knee. Thankfully that shock wasn't near as strong as the first; it was more like a warning zap.
"Boy, what is this – your first shock collar?" grunted a deep voice from nearby. Nick whipped around, and for the umpteenth time that night his jaw dropped at the sight of a familiar face. "Finnick?"
Lying on the cot opposite, ears oversized as usual and with sunglasses over his eyes, was his old friend and former partner Finnick the fennec fox. He was wearing a ragged brown jacket over his usual black shirt and shorts, and had on a shock collar just like Nick now did. The fennec lifted up his glasses, a confused look in his baggy eyes. "Yeah, we know each other?"
Nick was beginning to wonder how many more familiar faces he would have to explain himself to tonight. "Uh, yeah!" he stated, "We worked together for years! We pulled off all kinds of hustles together!"
"You must mean someone else, I ain't never had a partner and the whole scammin' bit died out years ago," Finnick replied with his usual air of indifference, "Now I just get myself thrown in here and then, at least there's free food and a bed."
"But… you're not savage," Nick observed.
"Well, duh! Neither are you!" Finnick declared, sitting up on his cot. "You think they care? The more savage predators they get in here, the more the hornheads who run the joint get paid. All a pred's gotta do is act a little nutty and it's a free ticket to Cliffside. Watch, I'll show ya."
He got off the cot, raised his claws, bared his teeth wide as he could and started growling and swiping furiously at the air:
"ROWRROWRROWRROWRROWR!"
Nick bit down the urge to laugh. "Reeeal convincing," he muttered sarcastically.
Finnick dusted himself off. "Works every time, that or bitin'. It's th' most fun I get since they closed up Wild Times."
"Um… Wild Times?" Nick queried.
"Yeah, ol' Mister Big's amusement park. It was all over the internet, you been under a rock?"
"Uh…" Mister Big? Amusement park? Nick figured if he wanted answers, it was best to play along. "In a shack, actually. I got in trouble with the law, this 'disappearer' set me up in this little hick town called Podunk. They barely have electricity up there, much less internet."
"Figures, that's bunny country," said Finnick. "You want the story or what? We got nothin' but time in here."
Nick was surprised to hear Finnick say that; the fennec was not one to give up details easily, let alone voluntarily. "Um… sure."
Finnick sat back on the cot, facing Nick: "Some ten years ago, predators started going missin'. Was all quiet, barely in the news. Then one day this fox, a vixen, she went crazy and attacked a cop out in broad daylight."
"A fox attacked a cop…?" Nick whispered.
Finnick nodded. "Yep. Dunno who, details were sketchy, but one thing led to another and it turned out that somehow these missin' predators were goin' savage, losing their minds and walking on all fours an' growlin', and the mayor was holdin' them all in some abandoned nuthouse. This place," Finnick pointed down at the room they were in. "Then he was fired o' course, and ol' Dawn Bellwether, she became the new mayor, and then a year later she came out with this 'shock collars' policy, and all preds gotta wear 'em in case something "happens"." Finnick made quotation marks with his fingers. "O' course, when them collars came there was protest. But one guy, this mob boss shrew Mister Big, he used connections to make this remote-thing that could remove anyone's collars whenever he wanted. So he set up this secret amusement park, called it 'Wild Times', where predators could take off their collars an' have a break from it all. He even hired families o' the savage predators, gave 'em a place to stay."
This was very interesting to Nick, for it was just the kind of thing he might have done had he grown up in this world.
"…But o' course it didn't last – one day the cops raided the joint, and ol' Big took a tranq dart right to the chest, he was dead before he hit the ground. An' that kid of his, Fru-Fru, her and her hubby and kit, they all got squashed when one o' their polar bear guards got knocked out and fell on 'em."
"Fru-Fru and Ju-Ju…?" Nick gasped. Judy's friend and goddaughter.
"Dunno where you got that name, last I heard her kit's name was Millie," said Finnick dismissively.
Fru-Fru didn't name her daughter after Judy… did they even meet in this world? Nick wondered to himself.
Just then there was a clanking noise, and the cell door opened. "Finnick Fennec?" grumbled a deep and colorless voice that made Nick's ears perk up. "Your twenty-four hour observation is over and your blood test came back clean, you are free to go."
"Bogo!" Nick ran past Finnick and clambered up to the Cape buffalo who had just arrived, Bogo's left arm still in a sling and his right holding a police baton. "Chief, I swear I'm not crazy! Bellwether really is behind this and she made this chemical that makes predators go savage-oof!" The pointed end of the baton poked him in the stomach and pushed him backwards.
"Back! BACK!" Bogo ordered. He pointed at Finnick, "I'm only here for him."
Nick was getting frantic. "NO, Chief, you gotta listen- AAAAH!" his shock collar went off and Nick dropped to both knees in pain.
"That was a warning, Fox," said Bogo, pointing a remote like Jesse had at him. He gestured at Finnick, "Come. You're going home."
Finnick slowly got off his cot and started ambling towards the door. But then he paused, and gave Nick a little wink.
Nick saw what was coming a second before Bogo did.
"ROWRROWRROWRROWRROWR!" Finnick let out a loud growl and pounced, sinking his little fangs into Bogo's leg.
"ARRRRGH!" Bogo yelled.
"ROWR! ROWR! ROWR!" Finnick snarled through a mouthful of cloth and buffalo leg.
Nick tried to make a break for it, but the buffalo seized him by the scruff of the neck with his good arm and threw him back in the cell, all while trying to shake Finnick off his leg. He whipped out his collar activator and Nick got zapped again, harder this time. The Cape buffalo slammed the cell door shut, tore Finnick off his leg and started limping down the hall, the little fennec clutched in his hoof still feigning savagery.
"WAIT!" Nick forced himself up, and grabbed the bars of his cell. "It's night howlers!" he cried at Bogo's back, "IT'S NIGHT HOWLERS!"
Bogo himself made no effort to look back, but in the distance Nick saw another ram officer give a start, look in his direction, and then dash around a corner.
Nick slowly fell to his knees again. One paw still clutched at the bars of his cell, and the other started feeling at the soft metal that was the box of his shock collar. He could trace every detail with his finger, even feel the tiny heat the blinking light on the box gave off. If this was a dream, it was by far the most vivid and lucid one he had ever had; not only had the pain from the shocks and his beatings had felt very real, but he still felt sore and tingly from the effects. It all seemed so real, could it actually be…
"No!" Nick hissed tom himself. Whatever this was, it couldn't be real. He sat with a wince on his rear against the bars. If he was going to make any more sense of this there was only one mammal who could help him. He cleared his throat and spoke to the air: "Benji?"
And with only the smallest delay, Clawhauser popped out of thin air again. "Hi Nick! Sorry to leave you back there, but I've got-"
"An explanation for how to get out of this nightmare, I hope," Nick interrupted. "Benji, if this isn't a dream, and I'm still not convinced it isn't, what can I do to undo…" he gestured around his paw, "all of this? How can I make myself… born again?"
Clawhauser suddenly looked really excited. "Why, that's super-simple, Nick!"
"What is it?"
"You just have to believe," Clawhauser whispered dramatically.
Nick frowned in confusion. "Uh… say wha?"
"You have to accept that this all happened because of you. You have to embrace the fact that the world was a better place with you in it. Only then can your wish be undone."
This sounded nothing short of corny to Nick, but he was willing to try anything. "Alright, I'll give it a try…" The fox closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths, and tried to make himself feel as sincere as possible. "I see now that I really have made a difference, and I would like to live again, please."
He opened his eyes, and as he expected saw that nothing had changed, except that Clawhauser now looked disappointed. "Sorry," Nick said, "But even discounting the whole dream thing, there's still another possibility we haven't explored. And frankly I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner."
"Oh? What is it?" the cheetah asked.
"I'm going crazy and you're just a hallucination."
Clawhauser sighed. "Okay Nick, we'll try again later. Let's just get you out of here…" The cheetah started to move towards Nick and the door.
"Wait!" Nick ordered. He crossed his arms, "Before we go anywhere I have to know: what are you, how do you know so much, and how are you doing all this?"
"Ummm…" Clawhauser looked like he didn't know where to start, chewing his lip and darting his eyes to and fro. Nick decided to start with a guess.
"This is your world, isn't it?" He asked the cheetah, "Are you not the Ben Clawhauser I know, but the one from this world where I was never born?"
The cheetah nodded.
"But why you?" Nick probed. "Why not Carrots or Finnick or – heck, Buffalo Butt, what makes you my guardian angel or whatever this is?"
Angel… Suddenly realization dawned over Nick. Had he just answered his own question? "Benji…" he started, his eyes widening, "You're – you're not…"
"…That's right, Nick," Clawhauser answered morosely, "I'm dead."
Nick drew a sharp intake of breath. He was stunned. Clawhauser, dead? Without thinking he blurted out the first line that popped into his head: "Um… looking good?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound so morbid!" Clawhauser waved his paws in front of him, "But yeah… Nick, I, uh – I died about a year after the shock collar initiative came out. Guess that makes me a ghost now."
Nick got up and instinctively patted Clawhauser's stomach. It felt solid. "Err... You feel kind of alive to me."
But Clawhauser wasn't quite paying attention. "Hmm, maybe 'ghost' isn't the right word. I could be an angel, but they have wings; maybe I have to earn them… Or-ooh! Zombie…"
"Benji," Nick interrupted, "What happened to you? And what did my absence have to do with it?"
The cheetah sat down on the cot, which sagged under his weight, and began to tell his own story:
"After the story of savage predators came out and Dawn Bellwether became mayor, she decided to undermine the ZPD by making one of their own officers go savage. And… somehow I was the one they picked."
Nick sat on the floor in front of him, entranced. Clawhauser continued:
"Um, you see, after the public scares began they started putting predator officers into non-public positions; I was one of them."
"Yeah I know, Carrots told me," breathed Nick, "She said you were sent down to records in the basement."
"And it was horrible," Clawhauser affirmed, "Hot and dark, no one to talk to, working right next to this old gas boiler that hadn't been serviced in at least ten years. Nick, I must've sweated off twenty pounds!" He pulled on the loose fabric of his uniform for emphasis; Nick remembered observing earlier that this Clawhauser seemed thinner than the one he knew.
"Then Bellwether sent one her rams in, posing as a ZPD officer. He brought me a box of doughnuts down in the basement, and one of them was filled with nighthowler. As soon as I ate it, I went crazy. My collar went off, I thrashed around, I crashed into the boiler…"
The cheetah spread his arms out and made a kabooosh sound with his lips.
Nick gasped, and clapped his paws over his mouth. He shook his head in denial, it couldn't be. "Ben…" he croaked, struggling to speak.
But to his surprise, Clawhauser seemed perfectly calm. "Oh, it's okay, Nick!" the cheetah said reassuringly. "TBH, I've pretty much gotten over it by now."
Nick was shocked. Clawhauser was the only mammal he knew who could match Judy in cheery optimism, but being unfazed by having been murdered was a whole new level. "Are… you sure?" he asked.
"Sure I'm sure! Being dead's not so bad!" Clawhauser asserted. But then his smile faded, and a faraway look appeared in his eyes. "Of course, there's no doughnuts in the afterlife, no candy, no cereal…"
His lip trembled, "No GAZEEEELLE!" He wailed. He began bawling, large dramatic tears spurting out of his eyes. Nick didn't know whether to cry with his friend or laugh. In the end he got up on the cot next to the sobbing cheetah and put his arm around his shoulders in comfort, drawing Clawhauser into a one-armed hug.
"Ben…" he muttered, "I'm so sorry. So sorry I wasn't there."
Clawhauser sniffled, trying to get himself back together. "It's okay, (sniff) I don't blame you at all. And I know you can stop it from ever happening, that's comforting."
Nick thought about what Clawhauser had said about this world being undone if he wished hard enough and nodded, more for Clawhauser's benefit than his own.
Clawhauser sniffled once more, and then to Nick's further surprise, continued the story:
"The explosion that killed me also destroyed part of the precinct and a couple more officers died, along with the ram who brought the doughnuts in the first place. And Bellwether never put up funding to have the station repaired, so between that and being low on officers Precinct One was closed and everyone left was sent to different stations. Poor Chief Bogo… it broke him, Nick. And then he had a stroke, and had to quit the force. Working here was the best he could get."
Nick thought about this world's Bogo, how he couldn't use one arm, and how worn and defeated he'd looked. "And I thought my Bogo had blood pressure problems…" the fox said to himself.
But then Nick remembered the other parts of his original question, and frowned in confusion.
"So let me get this straight…" He got off the cot and stood in front of Clawhauser, "You're not my Clawhauser…" He pointed his right paw to the left, "But you know all about me, even though I was never born in this world…" He pointed his left paw to the right, "and you're here, even though you say you're dead, and you've got these weird vanishing powers…" He crossed his right paw over his left, "and you know all these things that you shouldn't know because you yourself weren't there…" And by now Nick's arms, and mind, were all twisted like a pretzel. After getting his limbs untangled he paced furiously around the cell for a minute, pondering what felt like the mysteries of the universe, before he fell back on the cot, stumped. "Is it a convoluted metaphysical answer involving alternate timelines and/or all-knowing deities?" Nick asked.
"Something like that," Clawhauser replied, "But to sum it up, I got a job. I'm your guide, and I am going to guide you into undoing this dark and gloomy world or die trying! Err, die again!"
Nick was still baffled, but he decided not to question the matter further. But if he ever did return things to normal he was going to give some serious consideration to starting attending church.
Clawhauser then straightened up, looking like he was steeling himself. "C'mon Nick, there's more you have to see. We gotta get you out of here now."