The next few days are met with the daunting task of keeping up the facade. I don't see her for what feels like a fucking eternity and in my chest all I can feel is the deep thump of my heart as I'm physically aching to be near her.
'Squash, that shit asshole. You messed up and now there's no returning.'
Rubbing at my chest I grumble under my breath and the red head that I've grown to despise because of the circumstances I find myself in with her, is looking at me strange. She reaches out trying to place her manicured long, black, just like my soul, colored nails over my chest and I shrug her off saying that it's heartburn but in actuality it's more like heartbreak. Her slap still reverberates in my mind and I use that against her. I want to hate her and vice versa. I want her to hate me more so I can at least know that she'll get over this with ease. That damn hug I witnessed between the ex and her just about fucking kills me every time my mind wanders back to that day. Getting up from the table, I push the chair forward with just a bit too much force that all eyes are now glued on me when chair and table collide with one another. Murmurs come from around me as some look at me questioningly and I shake that shit off my shoulders like I don't have a care in the world.
"You'll call me later?" She asks with a wink.
I nod at her nonchalantly. She smiles showing her unnaturally, glistening white teeth surrounded by blood red lips and I have to stop myself from cringing. I put up with her just enough throughout the damn day but I'll be damned if I have to tolerate her more than necessary. When I walk out of the cafeteria I catch sight of my sister and Emmett. I still can't look at them to their eyes and so I focus my gaze on anything but them. My phone buzzes but I don't look at it. I already know that it's my sister and I'm not ready to talk yet. Walking out the building I stop at the foot of the stairs and look up past the hill that would lead me to Be ... her. As if out of habit, I find myself going in that direction. I didn't know what I was exactly expecting but when I reach the hill top I stop dead in my tracks.
What. The. Actual. Fuck?! ...
At the bottom of the hill she's there but the kicker is, she's not alone. In yet another embrace I find her and it's with him. I couldn't help the sneer that crossed my features when she looked up and just as quick as she pulls away I'm stocking back down the hill. Fuck these feelings, fuck her and fuck everything. I had made a vow to myself that everything would be as if we never existed and what she just did put that final nail in the coffin.
Making it back to my dorm, I throw my backpack clear across the room. The realization hits me that maybe I was temporary, a play thing till they worked their shit out. I wanted to scream, break any and everything that was in close range and that's when I remember that in the cupboard is an almost half empty bottle that we never finished of Fireball whiskey. Before my mind can go back to the reason why the bottle was left unfinished, I go for it and snort as I eye the glasses that will definitely not be used tonight. There will be no moderation tonight. Popping the top off I chug it like it's my lifeline but just before I can finish it off there's a knock at my door. I forcefully put the bottle down onto the counter and as I move I feel discombobulated. My head spins and I know that I know my way around my cramped space but for whatever reason, more than likely the fucking whiskey, I keep kicking shit around till I reach my destination. Without looking through the peephole, I swing the door open and what I get next is not what I expected.
"So, you're the fucker who's broken her heart this time."
I squint because of the bright light coming from the hallway and at the same time I wanna lunge and punch the shit out of him but even drunk me knows that I would lose that battle. Scoffing I mutter under my breath and go to close the door only he stops it and holds it so that it stays open. Rage builds inside of me and I let the door swing back as I stand up to him face to face. He has the nerve to chuckle and before I know it he's let himself inside of my place. He goes straight to my living room taking a seat on the sofa and I grip the door tight. All I can think is serenity now before closing it with a bang.
"Who the fuck do you think you are coming in here?!" I yell as I move slowly towards the living room. I can see him eyeing me and the other chair opposite him and before he can offer me a seat in my own good damn place I drop into it. From the expression on his face I can tell that it's going to be a long night. From the way my head was feeling I could tell that it may end up being a losing battle. As we both sat there staring the other down my only thought was, am I going to hold out long enough to hear what this asshole has to say?