"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, 18 teams started off the 26 part race around the world, and after a lot of running, waiting, even more running, confronting fears and pushing themselves even further than I thought possible, everyone managed to reach the airport and booked themselves on 3 different flights headed to Morocco. Flight number one carrying Father & Son, the Best Friends, the Artists, the Fashion Bloggers, the Ice Dancers and the Reality TV Pros, has already departed and is en route to Morocco. The second flight carrying the Sisters, the Vegans, the Ultimate Duo, Mom & Daughter, the Rockers and the Geniuses, is waiting to take off. At the same time, the third flight carrying the Goths, LARPers, Adversity Twins, Bromigos, Stepbrothers and Tennis Rivals will not be departing for another hour. Will one of these teams suffer the ultimate humiliation reality TV has to offer and be the first to get kicked off? Time to find out right here and right now on… the Ridonculous Race!"
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"12 out of our 18 teams are already on their way to Morocco, while the last 6 are still at the airport waiting anxiously."
"Sanitizer?" Mickey held out some sanitizer to Jay.
"No need." Jay held up some oven mitts "I made a point of not touching anything. You want some juice?"
"Greeting gentlemen!" the LARPERS suddenly popped up in front of them "What say you to an amalgamation of adversaries, a weaving of wizards and doppelgangers to rule them all?" and one of them through some confetti on them.
"I'm allergic to confetti!" and Jay ran off.
"Jay wait, what about your calamine lotion!" Mickey ran after him.
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Chet was making a call on the payphone "Your plan won't work mom, we're not gonna become friends! Because Lorenzo is a poo head, that's why! Can't you just divorce his dad or something?"
"Hey!" Lorenzo stormed up to Chet "Is that my dad?"
"No it's my mom!"
"Dad it's me, you've gotta divorce Chet's mom!"
"Hey get off that!" they started fighting over the phone.
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By this point, Leonard and Tammy were trying to coerce another team into forming an alliance, this time the Goths "Salutations, we wish to propose an unstoppable adjoining of alchemy and alabaster to vanquish those who dare to cross us."
"Huzzah!" Tammy threw some confetti into the air.
"Surely you shall not say nay."
"Nay." was literally the only word the Goths uttered before walking away.
"Oh. Darn."
"Huzzah!" Tammy threw more confetti.
"Come on Tammy go easy on that, keep in mind I only brought the one bag."
"Huzzah!"
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"Tammy and I first met in 9th grade." explained Leonard "And we were immediately very close."
"We were stuffed into the same locker." Tammy pointed out.
"And a friendship was formed as we calmly ate our lunches and waited for the janitor to locate the bolt cutters."
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"Flight number one will land in Morocco in a matter of hours, and most of the teams are taking this chance to either strategize or unwing a little bit before the war ahead of them."
Jen was browsing through a fashion magazine "OMG I'd look so good in that." she cringed as she listened to Tom snoring so she put the oxygen mask over his face "Okay that's better."
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As for another section of the plane…
"GWEN!" Owen almost immediately caught Gwen in a bear hug "Alright, we finally get to hang out again! This is so awesome!"
Gwen tried to push herself out of his grip "Great to see you too big guy but seriously, you mind putting me down?"
"Oh yeah sorry." he put her down "I'm just so psyched, it's been way too long!"
"Owen we were at Bridgette's party last week. Speaking of which, hey Noah." she received a grunt and a two fingered mock salute.
"So give me the deets, what's up with you and Cody?"
"...Oh crap you had to go there?"
"You bet he did." Kevin suddenly popped up in front of her "And don't think I'm gonna drop this subject either."
"You suck sometimes." she sat down, albeit reluctantly "Okay it started back a few months ago on my birthday. He gave me a locket with a certain message in it. It said…"
"It said I Love You and it had the picture of the two of them."
"For god's sake you keep pestering me to tell the story so don't take over for me." that promptly shut him up "Thank you. Anyway I couldn't say it to Cody."
"Why not?" suddenly Devin and Carrie popped up out of nowhere, clearly interested in the conversation.
Gwen took no notice of their random appearance "Looks not like I don't like Cody because I still do, a lot. But I don't think I would say that I truly and honest to god love him because…" she paused in an attempt to come up with a valid reason, but nothing came to mind.
"Because…?" Noah randomly urged her on, earning some looks "What? If a nerd can land an artsy chick then I say anything can happen."
"...Yeah, anyway we've only been together for like a year and a half. The way I see it that's just way too fast."
"That doesn't seem like much of a reason to me." Carrie told her "The way I see it there are times when it only takes a day to realize you love someone." note how she was looking at Devin when she said this, but nobody noticed "As long as you and Cody are happy together."
"You think so?"
"We both do." Devin told her "But keep one thing in mind, consider what Adam might do to you if you try to break up with Cody."
"...Yeah I'll keep that in mind."
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"Morocco, originally named Italy until it was discovered that there already was an Italy. Anyway it's home to scorchingly hot foods as well as scorchingly hot deserts. The first flight has just touched down and now the teams need to find the Don Box and collect their next travel tip."
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Gwen was the first one to collect a tip for her and Kevin "The Spice is Right, looks like this challenge is an all in."
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"An all in requires that both members of each team take part in a challenge, in this case teams must make their way to a local spice kiosk and choose 5 different spices from the bountiful array to select. But be warned, some are sweet and some are mild but others are so blisteringly hot that they will turn your stomach into a volcano of pain and your colin into a deathtrap. And I know from watching Total Drama that for one of these guys, that'll be bad. REALLY bad."
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"So what do we have to do?" asked Carrie.
"Hold that thought homie." Devin read his tip out loud "It says here we have to pick 5 spices from the kiosk, the best choices being cumin, cinnamon, paprika, saffron and ginger in order to receive our next travel tip. Let's go!" and the two of them, along with the others, took off for the taxis running over Owen and Noah in the process.
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Dwayne let out a chuckle "You see that? We're already in a taxi and now we're headed for spice central!" he wrapped an arm around Junior "We're doing great pal, hey what do you say we give a little shout out to the cameras? I'm Dwayne, this is Dwayne Junior right here."
"They already know that dad." Junior pointed out dryly.
"We're the Father and Son team."
"They know that too dad."
"Well we're gonna win this thing, I bet you they didn't know that. News Flash, this just in the Father and Son team win the million!"
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"I know a lot about spices." Cameron admitted "My mom tried to increase my variety by putting different kind in my sandwiches while I was still in my bubble."
Lightning let out a scoff "Yeah cause that's super manly Cammy Bear, just tell Lightning what to pick and let the real champ do his thing. Sha bam!"
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"You know even after everything that happened on Total Drama World Tour I'm still kind of scared of flying, so I got this guy." Owen held up a stuffed bear "I named him beary, you get it?"
"It's because he's a bear, yeah that's super hard to get." Noah grumbled dryly.
"Yeah! Well anyway he keeps me calm when I fly."
"Until you end up eating him like the 19 before him, this week alone."
"Noah doesn't like him but he likes Noah."
"Push him in my face again and he goes out the window just like the 7 that came before the 19 that you ate."
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"As the 6 teams from the first flight make their way towards the spice kiosk, the 6 teams on the second flight prepare for cold hearted battle once they hit the ground in Morocco."
Rock shuddered "Spud and I have never actually been on a plane before we signed up for this race. I'm not scared or anything though, I've seen a ton of planes on TV."
Spud blinked, then grinned "Oh yeah, I love that cartoon!"
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By this point, the Best Friends, Ice Dancers, Artists and Ultimate Duo have already reached the spice kiosk.
Carrie was quick to sniff out the cinnamon "It's this one! This is cinnamon, this is cinnamon, this is cinnamon!"
"Cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon, cinnamon, enough with the cinnamon high homie." Devin let out a chuckle, causing her to blush and giggle.
"Oh come on, you would've totally missed it homie."
"Oh please, as if I would've missed something like that."
"I'm the one who lives for cinnamon latees."
"You mean the ones you constantly spill on me, no wonder my kiwis can withstand temperatures up to 150 degrees."
"Okay fair enough, I promise I'll never doubt your ability to detect cinnamon again."
Jen observed the spices in front of her "Okay that one is cumin."
Tom observed another one "That's paprika."
"I found saffron."
"Cinnamon."
"Ginger, that makes 5!"
Gwen cringed "So we've gotta ride to a restaurant on a camel? Great, just what I need. Getting covered in camel spit."
"Easy fix, pick the one that isn't drooling." Kevin told her.
"They're all drooling."
"So we pick the one that doesn't look like it's gonna puke or pass out."
"...Do you ever have a bad thought in your head?"
"You mean aside from the constant thoughts about punching Lightning in the face so he sha-shuts the f*ck up?"
"Fair enough."
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Soon enough, the 3 teams were all riding their camels through the desert.
Carrie covered her nose "Oh man do these camels stink!"
Kevin sniffed his armpits "Oh man. Uh… yeah you heard the blonde chick, it's totally the camels!"
Gwen shot him a look "Dude?"
"Not a word Gwen, not a f*cking word."
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As the first 4 teams raced through the desert, the second flight finally touched down in Morocco and the Sisters, Vegans, Mother & Daughter, Rockers, Ultimate Duo and Geniuses raced to find cabs.
"Taxi!" Taylor rushed out to get a taxi "Come on mom, hurry up already!"
"Coming honey!" Kelly rushed after her, not very fast though.
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"Meanwhile our third flight is finally in the air as teams discuss some strategy. Well, some of them do at least."
Yeah as it turns out, Geoff was just messing around with the Tennis Rivals while they were asleep, much to DJ's dismay.
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Owen studied the spices long and hard "Uh… I… Let's see here… Okay don't panic, they're just spices… Why do you all look the same?!" and he ran away screaming.
Dwayne was less than concerned "It's not a man's job to collect spices, in ancient times it was the women that were the spice collectors and the men were the hunters. Man those were the days, the men had the power and-"
"You do realize that mom is gonna see this back home on TV right?" Junior pointed out.
"...And the times have changed, it's way better now."
"Yeah- Oh man the other teams are coming, we're gonna lose our lead!"
"Okay let's just pick out any 5, I doubt it could be that bad."
"Works for me." Noah looked up at the owner "Listen buddy, just go ahead and give us the 5 closest to you." he received an odd look "Come on man, snap to it would ya? My partner here will eat just about anything, I once saw him chow down on half a shower curtain!"
"There were pictures of cupcakes on it!" Owen protested.
"I rest my case." he looked over and noticed the Vegans and the Geniuses arrive just as he received the bag "Go go go!" and they charged in.
Cameron sniffed one of them "Okay that one is cumin, this one please. Okay now for the next one-"
"You're moving too slow for Lightning's standards!" Lightning shoved Cameron out of the way and stared long and hard at the spices "Just give me the other four in the front." so they picked up their spices just as the other teams finished picking out theirs and they all got their next travel tips from the owner.
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As more and more teams continue to reach the spice kiosk, the third and final flight had finally landed in Morocco, so they would have to hurry if they planned to catch any of the teams already in search of the culinary.
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"Sha yah yah yah!" Lightning repeatedly kicked the camel on the side "Faster ya stupid camel, move it!"
Cameron was actually showing some concern "Lightning I think the camel is going to pass out from dehydration."
"Sha please, as if the camel chosen by the Lightning would be so weak!" then the camel passed out "Clearly Lightning chose a broken one."
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Emma was having trouble choosing spices "Okay now for the last spice. Cumin, cumin…"
"I think it might be this one." Kitty offered "Oh and here come the twins."
"No time for guessing games Kit… I don't know, this one?" she picked one out and received the bag.
"So you can guess but I can't?"
"Mine is an educated guess not some random pick, can you please not resort to throwing a temper tantrum right now?"
"...OMG." and they left just as the Twins showed up and started having a sneezing fit thanks to the cinnamon.
Then Leonard and Tammy showed up "Greetings, do you accept dragon coin?"
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By this point, the Geniuses and the Vegans were wandering their way through the desert with their camels, with the Vegans making plans for a save the camels protest or whatever, and the LARPers were complaining about their delusional magical ways.
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The overall race was starting to heat up as the first few teams were drawing closer and closer to the Culinary, the Artists being the first team to arrive.
"I can see the Don Box, let's go!" Gwen hopped off of the camel.
Kevin, however, collapsed on the ground in a puddle of sweat "Oh god… the heat is so intense… from this lamp… that I… can't… move… Okay now you say tell me about it."
"Will you stop trying to quote that Spongebob movie from like a decade ago?"
"It was a good movie!"
"Just get up!"
"...Fine." so he did "What does the tip say?"
"It's a botch or watch called Just Stew It, that's one of the ones that only one of us is allowed to do."
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Don stood at the first Chill Zone of the race "Like they said, a botch or watch requires only one contestant from each team to take part. In this botch or watch, teams must hand the spices the acquired to the chef at the Culinary so that he can add them to a bowl of Moroccan stew which one of them must eat. This is why picking the right spices is so important, if not then this could get really ugly really fast. When they finish their stew it's up to them to race as fast as they can across the desert until they reach the Chill Zone, and they'll want to think fast and eat even faster because the last team to meet me here on the Carpet of Completion will be cut from the race."
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Kevin let out a groan "I can't do it, if my outsides are this on fire then just imagine what it would do to my insides!"
"...Okay gross." Gwen handed the spices to the chef just as the Best Friends and Ice Dancers arrived.
Josee kissed her lucky rabbit's foot "Come on Bun Bun, don't let us down." she received odd looks from everyone except Jacques, even the chef "I'm not superstitious or anything, I just believe that this rabbit's foot is responsible for anything and everything good in my life."
"Cool, can I rub it?" asked Devin, only for her to snap her jaw at him as if she would bit off his hand "Okay okay, eesh."
"Don't read too much into that." Jacques waved him off "She doesn't let me touch it either, it's just who she is. The name is Jacques by the way."
"Devin, this is Carrie."
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While the LARPers, Vegans and Ultimate Duo were battling it out in order to escape from last place, the rest of the teams dove into the restaurant challenge, which was really beginning to heat up.
Carrie swooned slightly as she watched Devin slurp down the stew "Oh Devin…" she whipped around and faced the camera "Uh that was- I was just- Okay I love him, I've loved him since we were 4 years old and he peed in my turtle pool. I mean that's not why I love him, it's just when it started. But after all this time how am I supposed to tell him and what do I do if he doesn't feel the same way? I mean he does already have a girlfriend, Shelley… who will see this on TV. Oh my gosh, what am I doing?"
"Done and done!" Devin held up the bowl and slammed it into the ground "Come on homie let's go, we're in first place!" and they took off just as the Ultimate Duo prepared to start their stew and the rest of the teams arrived.
Kevin was encouraging Gwen in his own, let's just call it special, way "Chug chug chug chug chug!"
"Alright alright, let it go already!" Gwen held up the empty bowl "Let's just hurry up and get going before the Ice Heather and her faithful sidekick finish!"
"Hustle hustle hustle!" and they took off across the desert.
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Carrie was racing after Devin across the desert only to trip and fall to the ground "Ow…"
"Hey." Devin held out a hand to her "You okay homie? Hold on I've got you." he took her up into one arm and started carrying her across the desert.
"Woah take it easy Romeo."
"You know it might be awkward for most of these teams to be as close to each other as we are but you and I are such good friend it doesn't matter."
"Yeah, it doesn't matter."
"So while we're running I should tell you, Adam and I came up with a game plan awhile go and I figured we should wait until at least 5 teams are gone before we try and form our first alliance with anybody. What do you think?"
"Uh… I guess that works."
"Great now watch out, Best Friends coming in hot!"
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By this point, all of the teams who reached the Culinary had started on eating their stew so that they could reach the Chill Zone.
DJ was telling Ellody about his friendship with Geoff while he watched Geoff chug down the stew with great earnest "Geoff and I have been bros for a few years now ever since the first season of Total Drama, but the guy's still kind of bummed about his breakup with Bridgette seeing how he was in love with her and all but I figured it was about time for him to move on."
"Quite the admirable accommodation." Ellody noted "I myself met Mary at an engineering student's potluck dinner, we both bought pie chart pie. We're both quite whimsical."
Owen on the other hand was struggling to force his stew down with how hot it was "Oh god… so hot...I think you picked the wrong spices!"
Noah rolled his eyes "Oh come on I've seen you eat, you make a raccoon look picky now stop whining and do it already!"
"Alright but…" he started chugging it down.
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Gwen collapsed to one knee in pain "Oh god… stomach on fire… about to explode…"
"No man gets left behind, let's move it Lone She Wolf!" with a might howl Kevin slung Gwen over his shoulder and started running.
"Okay this hurts almost as bad!"
"Hey don't blame me because you haven't got shit for meat on your bones!"
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Emma nearly spat out her stew in disgust "Oh god…"
"Come on Emma, you can do it!" Kitty urged her on.
"I think we chose some of the wrong spices."
"You know you chose all of the spices." she received a glare "Which is awesome because I totally would've guessed.
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Jen tried to make sure Tom would pace himself "Woah take it easy Tom, you don't wanna get anything on that shirt!"
Tom took a deep breath "It's okay, I brought extras." he went back to slurping, eventually managing to get it all down "Okay I'm done, let's move!" and they took off.
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Devin continued carrying Carrie as they raced across the desert "Hey homie let me know when you see the Chill Zone."
"I see it!" Carrie pointed to some palm trees up ahead "The palm trees, that must be a sign for the Chill Zone!"
"Alright!" then ran and ground to a halt on the carpet.
Don was waiting for them "Best Friends welcome to the first Chill Zone of the race. You're the first team to arrive, congratulations. That sets some high expectations for you, I and many viewers expect you to live up to them."
"Yes!" Devin set Carrie down and spun her around in a hug "We did it, we really did it!" he took a moment to calm down "You know coming in first is kind of surprising, I mean I knew we'd be a great team but…"
"First place?" Carrie finished for him "Wow, just wow."
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The other teams were beginning to hit… roadblocks.
Owen had finally finished his stew, his face burning red "Need… WATER!" he rushed off and cooled himself off in the grossest way possible: drinking camel saliva, which caused everyone present to almost puke, which for many was actually better than the stew.
Here's what Leonard took from watching this "We have to eat our own barf?"
This was followed by a camel puking on Miles, much to the joy of Laurie "Real organic camel munch!"
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Gwen looked behind them "Ice Dancers coming in at 12:00!"
"You mean 6:00." Kevin pointed out "Keep in mind that this is from my perspective."
"Who cares what perspective it is, the point is they're right behind us!"
"Au revoir!" Jacque and Josee passed by them gracefully, only to crash face first into a tree a few seconds later.
"Ouch."
"Plus tard skaters!" Kevin passed by them "See what I did there? You know cause they're skaters."
"Yeah I know. I didn't know you speak french though."
"I took a year of French 101- Hey look there's the Chill Zone!" sure enough the Chill Zone was in sight and they leapt right onto the Carpet of Completion.
Don was quick to greet them and confirm their ranking "Alright, Gwen and Kevin you two are in second place. 7/10 on the entrance by the way."
"I'll take it!" he ended up accidentally dropping Gwen "Oops."
Then Don turned to the Ice Dancers as they reached the carpet "So being a team of canadian Ice Dancers you probably hear this a lot, 3rd place!"
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Jacques cringed as he listened to Josee throwing a tantrum "This is going to be quite the long race."
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One by one the teams began to reach the Chill Zone, with Don counting them all off as they did so:
"4th place!" Fashion Bloggers.
"5th place!" Bromigos.
"6th place!" Father & Son
"7th place!" Geniuses
"8th place!" Reality TV Pros
"9th place!" Rockers
"10th place!" Tennis Rivals
"11th place!" Sisters.
"11th?!" unsatisfied with the ranking, Emma rounded on Kitty "You have to start doing more!"
"I would love to do more." Kitty told her "So please, just let me!"
"I'll tell you when you can do more okay? I will tell you!" and she stormed off.
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"YEAH! SHABAM!" Lightning forced down all of the stew in one fierce session.
Cameron blinked "Well that's quite illuminating, also kind of unnerving." he looked over and watched as the Vegans finished and took off "We're down to the bottom two, are you almost done?"
"Sha bam!" Lightning smashed the bowl into the ground, only to pause afterwards "Uh oh. The Sha-Lightning can't see! Lightning's been blinded! But no matter, he can rely on his ears to get him to where he needs to be!" he put Cameron on his back and took off running after the Vegans.
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Don continued to meet the teams at the Chill Zone "Adversity Twins are in 12th, Mom & Daughter are 13th, Goths are 14th, and Stepbrothers are 15th. That leaves the Vegans, the LARPers and the Ultimate Duo. One of these teams will be heading home, I'm personally hoping it's the LARPers."
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Tammy turned to Leonard "The Vegans are catching up to us, I don't think we have any other choice!"
"You mean… we have to use magic." Leonard guessed "Let's do it!"
"Song of Slumber!" she started playing her ocarina.
"Chaos Barrier!" Leonard pulled out a wooden staff, only for nothing to happen as the other teams passed by without giving a damn "What the- There's something wrong with my stick."
"Don't talk, run!" they took off running.
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Don was quick to meet the final three teams at the Chill Zone "Ultimate Duo you're in 16th place-" he was silenced by a hand from Cameron as he dropped off of Lightning's back.
"Nuh uh host guy, Lightning ain't going home first!" Lightning kept on running.
"Don't worry Lightning, we're almost there." Cameron told him.
"How long are you gonna let him run for?" asked Don.
"I just needed some time to hear myself think."
"Oh that reminds me." he turned to Laurie and Miles "Vegans you've arrived in 17th place."
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Laurie breathed a grateful sigh "We stuck to our principle and we're still in the race, I guess that means nice guys finish almost last."
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Don was quick to scold the LARPers once they finally arrived "The Ridonculous Race is about skill, it's about determination. It's not about magic, you're done."
"Time reversal spell!" Tammy threw some confetti into the air.
"Security!"
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Tammy let out a sigh "I think we could've done better."
"I got to do a lot of things I never wanted to try." Leonard pointed out "So that's something I guess."
"I for one am glad we did this together, we can share these memories together forever."
"I still don't get why we have to walk home though."
A/N:
I shuffled the elimination order slightly, nothing major, just to give the viewers a grip on the stronger and the weaker teams in comparison to each other so you guys know who to root for and who is most likely to go home.
That little conversation with Gwen about her relationship with Cody will be part of their little character arc throughout the race, along with a rivalry with the Ice Dancers in place of the Cadets.
I honestly think Jacques is a pretty cool character so I decided to add in a little good cop bad cop routine between him and Josee.
Now then, I will be incorporating some ideas that I saw in a Ridonculous Race Rewrite on Deviantart. Nothing very big, just stuff I think could've been done better, which is to say not very much actually. Actually it's inspired 2 major changes that I feel are necessary, one of which being the whole thing and the interactions between Emma and Noah. It will still happen, it'll just take a slight turn.
Just for fun, I'm gonna do a rankings table along with an elimination table like I did in The Rise of an Underdog.
Rankings:
Best Friends: 1st
Artists: 2nd
Ice Dancers: 3rd
Fashion Bloggers: 4th
Bromigos: 5th
Father & Son: 6th
Geniuses: 7th
Reality TV Pros: 8th
Rockers: 9th
Tennis Rivals: 10th
Sisters: 11th
Twins: 12th
Mother & Daughter: 13th
Goths: 14th
Stepbrothers: 15th
Ultimate Duo: 16th
Vegans: 17th
Elimination:
LARPers: 18th