Like Cats and Dogs

by disnickyX

Tori and Jade don't get along. They're always fighting, even over the smallest of things. But then Tori's ex shows up at Hollywood Arts; and he's dating a girl named Melissa there. Tori tells him that she's dating someone new too. He invites her on a double date and now she's got a problem. She needs a date. Rating may change if I can get the courage to write one of those scenes

21. Couple Queries and Gorillas: Chapter 21

Author's note: You mean to tell me I could've looked up a song and passed it off as if Jade had written it and it wouldn't have been a big issue?! You guys wouldn't have thought it was plagiarism? Oh my God, if I had known that, I wouldn't have written that stupid song….ugh!

{~~~TORI~~~}

I don't know what to do. I've been in bed all day, just thinking about it. Just thinking about how much I love Jade, and how much I don't want her to break up with me, and how it would just kill me to see her go back to Beck. Like it would really kill me to see that.

And then the thought comes to me. The evil, evil, thought.

I can ask for a break.

See, I know Jade. If I ask for a break, she won't break up with me while we're on it. It's because of her reputation. It's better for her if she's the one who does the dumping. But if she dumps me while we're on a break that I asked for, it would almost seem like I dumped first; and Jade wouldn't want to give that power to me. Even if we are sort of friends now. She's still Jade West. She'd have to wait until I announce break is over. Then, and only then, can she dump me and come out on top.

But if I can make the break last long enough for me to figure out a way to make her fall in love with me for real…

Yeah, I know. I'm selfish. I'm really, really, selfish for thinking up a plan like that, but I don't know what else to do. I don't want to lose her…even though I've never had her.

Gosh, I'm so messed up. Not to mention pathetic. Why on earth would Jade ever pick me over Beck? I wouldn't even choose me over Beck.

I'm gonna lose her. I'm gonna lose Jade. The thought makes me cry…again. This makes the fourth time today.

I start to get a headache from it after a while though, and I close my eyes and try to sleep it off.

I think I might be thinking too hard about Jade because I swear she's in my room with me. It's like I can feel her presence; I can smell her, and, I know it's super creepy and weird, but I think I can even hear her breathing.

Yeah, I'm definitely pathetic.

Then I feel fingers on the back of my neck. And I hear her whisper. "Baby?"

She really is here.

I turn over and look up at her. She's soo beautiful. That's my first thought. My second thought is of how much I love her. And I can't help it. I think about it again. I think about how she's about to break up with me, and how much I don't want her to. It hits me harder than before; probably because she's actually here, and it's like my love for her has amplified a thousand fold just because we're face to face.

My throat closes up. I think I'm gonna cry again. Ugh, my head hurts too much for me to cry again!

I turn away from her and bite my lip.

I almost did it. I almost asked for a break, but I can't. I shouldn't. I love her, right? I should let her have what she wants, even if it's not me, right? I should let her go, right?

Or should I fight for her?

Which one's better? Which one screams "I love you" the most?

I don't feel the bed dip beside me; so I don't realize Jade's gotten in bed with me. I barely even remember she's in here with me until she's straddling my stomach.

And suddenly, I don't care which is better for Jade. I care about what I want. I want to keep her; so I blurt it out before I lose my nerve. I ask her for a break. I ask for more time with her. I don't care if it's fake. I want it. I don't want to let her go.

I wonder if she'll notice what I'm doing. I wonder how long it will take for her to make me end the break. Days, weeks, months….

I hope it's months. No, I hope it's years.

"You can't break up with me." She reminds me.

"I know." I sigh. I don't even feel guilty about what I've done. About trying to buy some time to get Jade to really fall in love with me. I almost feel like she deserves it. She should've known I would fall in love with her. How could she have not known that? She's so…so…Jade. "The deal was you get to break up with me in public, but I said I think we should take a break. Not break up." I finish without breaking a sweat.

She glares at me. "Why do you think we need to take a break, Vega?" She demands forcefully. She's really wazzed off now. I threw not only a monkey wrench, but a microwave, a toilet seat, and a fishing boat, into her plans.

"I just think we need a little space." I try to shrug it off casually, but I have to admit, her murderous glare is starting to get to me.

"We don't need space." She spits.

I couldn't agree more; but I look down at my stomach, where she's sitting, suggestively gesturing that we don't have space.

"I don't need space," she counters.

"I do."

"For what?"

Jeez, she looks so mad. She's a little bit scary even.

"I don't know." I manage to get out. "I just do."

"You know why." She accuses me. And she's totally right. I know exactly why I want a break, but there's no way I'm telling her. She'd kill me.

"You cheating on me, Vega?"

I blink at her. What? Cheating on her? No way! I shake my head. I would never cheat on her. And I tell her so.

She doesn't believe me.

"Who is it?" She demands.

"Who, what?" I frown. Didn't I just say I'm not cheating on her?

She slaps the bed. And I freeze. That was almost my face. She's really wazzed off. Maybe asking for a break wasn't such a good idea, but I can't seem to take it back. I can't get my voice to work. And even if I could, I'd still want a break. I'd still want time to get her to fall in love with me. For real.

Pathetic.

"You like someone." She yells at me. "Who is it?"

I shake my head. It's her. Just her. I only love her. I didn't cheat. I swear it!

"Jade"- I try, but she cuts me off.

"Who!" She all but screams.

She's so mad at me. I don't want her to be mad at me. I just want a break so that I can spend more time with her. That's all. I swear it! I didn't cheat. Why doesn't she believe me? And why would she believe I would cheat on her? Does she think that I'm…does she think that I really am a…a….

She starts naming my friends, asking me if I'm cheating on her with them. She even asks if it's Beck. Beck! I don't want him!

I keep saying no, but she's not listening.

Why doesn't she trust me?

I wouldn't cheat. I love her.

My head hurts, and I realize that I'm crying again. Like, crying. Not just letting little tears run down my face as I sniff a little. I'm crying, crying. I don't even know for how long. I don't know when it started.

Then she grabs my face and glares at me. But it's not a regular glare. It's like she thinks I'm revolting. Like the sight of me makes her sick. Why's she looking at me like that?

"You really are a slut." She spits at me.

I hear her just fine, but it's like I can't process what I heard. I just stare back at her. I'm not sure for how long. Seconds, minutes, I don't know.

Then it sinks in. I realize what she said to me and I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to feel, but my body does.

My heartbeat slows down. Painfully slow. I feel like I can't breathe. It hurts. It really, really hurts. Bad.

"Fuck you, Tori." She continues.

I wince. I feel like I was just stabbed in the face. Literally. Jade never calls me Tori. She hates that name. She's says it all the time. She always says she hates Tori when someone asks her why she calls me by my last name.

But she just called me that. She just told me she hates me, without even having to say it.

Jade's grip on my chin tightens, no doubt she's trying to get my attention because I've drifted off a little. It's my heart. It's still beating so slow. It feels like it's getting slower. I can't breathe.

I open my eyes, not even aware that they'd been closed, and I look up into Jade's. My favorite blues are glaring down at me. My favorite blues are hating me.

"You can have your break, Vega." I take my eyes off of my favorite blues and look at the pink lips move. "But when we get back together, and everybody thinks we're a happy couple again, I'm gonna break up with you in front of the entire school. I'm gonna make sure everyone knows just how much of a lying slut you are."

I feel…nothing. Just numb, at first that is. But then Jade's gone and the pain comes. My heart hurts so bad. So literally. I thought that was just an expression. I didn't know a person's heart can literally hurt. I didn't know that it could feel like someone literally shoved their hand into my chest and started squeezing away.

I want to go after her, bring her back. Make her say it again. I want to make sure I heard right. I know I heard right, but I still wanna make sure. I still want to make her come back. And I want her to say she was just kidding. It was a joke. It's April fool's day. It was a dream. Please God, say it was a dream. Because Jade wouldn't really do that to me. She wouldn't, would she?

I fall out of my bed. I was trying to go after Jade, but my legs are sleep, numb. I hurt my elbow, a sure sign that I'm awake. It's not a dream.

"Jade." I call, I try to call. No sound escapes my lips.

And then she's here. Helping me back into bed and holding me.

I bury my face into her neck and hold on tight. I knew it wasn't real. I knew it wasn't…

She smells different. She feels different.

I wipe the blinding tears from my eyes, and my heart sinks again.

It's not her. It's not Jade. It's Josephina holding me.

I want Jade.

But she doesn't want me. She doesn't even like me anymore, if she ever did. If she wasn't just pretending. Oh God, my heart. That hurts. That hurts so bad.

I grab at my chest, untangling myself from Josephina, and I lay down on my stomach.

She doesn't leave, and she doesn't say anything either. She starts rubbing my back. That makes my heart hurt more.

I like the way Jade rubs my back.

"What's going on?" I suddenly hear a small voice ask. It's close, but far. "Why'd Jade leave?" It continues.

I moan a bit, feeling another jolt of pain at the mention of her name.

She's gone. Jade's gone. She was in such a hurry to get away from me that she left her sisters.

"Hey kid," I hear Josephina say. "Go back downstairs."

The voice doesn't go anywhere. In fact, it gets even closer.

"What's wrong, Tori? What'd Jade do this time?"

I look at the voice. It belongs to Riley. She's so much like Jade. She looks like her, and she acts like her, but she doesn't hate me like her.

I don't even think about it. My arm just shoots out and I grab her, yanking her to me.

"Whoa." She says, landing hard on me. It hurts a little, but I barely notice. She's patting my back awkwardly. Clearly out of her element.

Any other day, this would make me laugh. Riley, trying to comfort someone? It would be hilarious….any other day. But now I can only think that I only have a little more time with her. And it's sad. Not funny at all.

I'll get Trina or Josie to drop them off tonight because I can't, but after that, there'll be no more Twins Day on Thursdays. No more taking them to Freezy Queen. No more nothing. I won't be able to spend any more time with them.

And it's not because of the break. It's because of Jade.

Before, when I imagined us on a break, I imagined us on friendly terms. I was so sure that seeing the girls wouldn't be a problem because me and Jade would still be hanging out, dating a little, and hopefully I'd be getting her to fall for me.

But now I know that's not gonna happen. Jade hates me. She really, truly, hates me. She's not gonna want me to pick up the girls. Oh, I'm sure Joy wouldn't mind still, but I don't want them to fight over it. They've been getting so close lately. Jade even calls her Mom sometimes. I'm not gonna be the one to mess that up. Not for Joy. I can tell she's been waiting for it for a long, long, time. She really loves her daughter…stepdaughter….ex-stepdaughter. No matter what Jade does, she still loves her.

And I can understand that. Because I still love her too. How pathetic is that?

Josephina's left me and Riley alone. I didn't hear her say she was leaving, I'm just suddenly aware that she's not here anymore.

She must've known I need time with Riley, so she gave it to me. I wonder if she knows I need Jade back. I wonder if she can find a way to get that for me too.

"Tori, Come on. Tell me what's wrong." Riley pleads.

I'm still crying; and she's still patting me, getting more and more restless by the second.

I just squeeze her tighter. She's like Mr. Officer Bear. He was a huge beige teddy dressed in a policeman uniform that my dad gave me when I was little. Papi told me that when I missed him because he was working late, to just hold on to Mr. Officer Bear and I'd feel better.

And it worked.

I slept with Mr. Officer Bear for years. In fact, I still have him. He's in my closet. I couldn't put him in the garage with my other teddies because, well, sometimes I still need him.

"Tori, I can't breathe." Riley whines.

I make a conscious effort to loosen my hold on her, but I still don't let go. I know this isn't fair to her. I know she'd rather be out playing then letting me hold her, but I need this so bad. I need to hold a small piece of Jade, a part of her that doesn't hate me. It's making me feel better. Not good, but my heart hurts a little less.

"You don't hate me, right?" I murmur, just to make sure.

"No." she sighs. She hates stupid questions. Just like Jade does.

"You love me?" I ask. I can't help it. I need to hear it. I need a small piece of Jade to love me.

"Yeah, but not like gay." She explains. "Like um… Amber, but different because you're old."

"I love you too, Monstrito." I squeeze tighter. "You remember that, okay? No matter what."

She wiggles away from me and sits up. I sit up too, wanting to hold her again, but she pushes away from me. "Wait. What do you mean, no matter what?" she asks suspiciously.

I successfully grab a hold of her this time and squeeze tight.

She pushes at me again.

"Tori, what's wrong?" she freaks a little. I think she knows what's coming, subconsciously at least. It makes me feel good. Not the thing about not spending time with her and her sister anymore, but knowing that she'll miss me. That makes me feel good.

I pull back a little, keeping my hands on her shoulders, and look her straight in the eyes. Then I clear my throat and I try to smile. "Me and Jade are on a break now." I say.

"So she's not gonna come with us to places anymore? That's no big deal." Riley scoffs. "I don't like it when she comes anyway."

I shake my head. "Um," I pause there, not too sure on how to deliver the news. Then I settle for a simple, "I don't think it'd be a good idea for us to go places together anymore."

"Well duh, if you're on a break you're supposed to be separate." She rolls her eyes. "Even I know that. Mom and dad went on a break lots of times before they got a divorce. Sometimes we stayed over at Dad's house but we mostly stayed with Mom. Well, Jade never came with us when we went to Dad's house…"

Ugh. She's not getting it. Me and Jade aren't a married couple. I don't get joint custody of the kiddies. I don't get anything!

"Riley," I swallow, going slower this time so she'll get it. "I don't think it'd be a good idea if me, you, and Amber go places together while me and Jade are on a break."

She still doesn't get it at first. I can tell because she says okay, but then she thinks it over and she realizes what I'm trying to say.

"What about on Thursdays?" She asks in a tiny voice.

I shake my head.

"That's not fair!" She screams at me. Then she's hitting me. Hurting me, just like Jade.

"Stop it." I say.

She ignores me.

She hits me again. Right in my face.

I push her. I push her right off the bed. Her landing is so hard, so loud.

I hurt her. Oh my God, I can't believe I did that!

I peer over the side of the bed. "Riley, I'm"-

Before I can finish apologizing she's jumped to her feet. If she hits me again, I won't even block.

She lunges her whole body at me, her arms going around my neck, and she knocks me onto my back. "That's not fair, Tori." She sobs. "I didn't even do anything."

I hold onto her too. And I kiss her cheek. And I sit up so I can rock her. And I cry too. My seventh time today. My head hurts so bad.

We end up crying ourselves to sleep, I guess. One minute I'm crying, and the next I'm waking up to lips pressed gently against my forehead.

"Jade?" I whisper.

No answer.

I open my eyes and it's Joy standing there. She looks like she's about to cry. She must know me and Jade are on a break. She must feel sorry for us. I know she thinks we're the cutest couple. She says it all the time.

I swear, if she cries, I will too. And it will be my eighth time today.

I pull my hand out of my shirt, (I don't even remember doing the belly thing) and make to sit up, but I can't. There's weight on me. I look around. Both girls are sleeping on me. I don't even know when Amber came in.

Joy reaches for them, and I tighten my hold on them.

She pulls back. "You want me to leave them here? I can come back tomorrow, if you want."

I almost say yes, but I end up shaking my head. I'd rather just get it over with now.

I successfully sit up this time and scoot back a little. The girls don't wake up. They just roll down onto my thighs and legs.

Joy reaches for them again and I have to sit on my hands to keep from grabbing on again.

She gives me a sympathetic look before shaking her daughters awake.

"Riley, Amber, get up."

Riley wakes up first. It's so evident that she cried herself to sleep. Her face is so swollen. Mostly around her eyes.

She crawls up my legs and sits in my lap, just like Jade does.

"Did you change your mind, Tori?" She all but pleads. "Can we still come over sometimes?"

I don't trust my voice to speak, so I just shake my head.

She places her hands on my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes. "Please, Tori. We'll be good."

I bite my lip and glare at Joy. She's got Amber in her arms now. Why couldn't she get her other daughter, huh? Why didn't she grab Riley first? She's the one making a scene. She's the one making this hard.

"Come on, Riley." Joy tries, reaching for her hand. Riley snatches away and hugs on me. Laying her head on my chest.

I start to feel guilty because there's a small part of me that's enjoying this. There's a small, twisted, part of me that likes this. This being the fact that Riley's begging so hard to stay a part of my life. It makes me feel wanted and loved. I need that. I need that so much, but there's the bigger part of me that can't take this. There's the bigger part of me that doesn't like to see my monstrito hurt. She doesn't cry so easy. Only when she's truly hurt. And I don't want her to hurt. Not like this. Not like I'm hurting. Little kids shouldn't ever feel this.

"I'll be good, Tori." Riley wails. "I promise."

"Ya, Riley." I beg. "Let go."

I reach behind my neck, attempting to untwine her fingers.

She freaks on me, getting hysterical. I've never seen her act like this.

"I didn't even do anything!" She screams. "It's not fair!"

I feel the tears come to my eyes. Eight times today. If I let the tears fall, this will make eight times that I have cried today. And I can't. I can't do that again. My head hurts. It hurts so bad.

"Riley," Joy chokes. I look over at her. She's crying. So is Amber. "Come on, baby." Joy says, putting Amber down. She can do that because Amber's not making a scene. She's such a good girl. I love that kid so much and I want to hold her so bad, but that would be a bad idea. I probably wouldn't ever let go.

Joy grabs at Riley's arms, pulling them.

"No!" Riley screams. "No! Mommy, stop it!" Then her little legs lock around my waist as she tries to hold on to me with everything she's got.

I start to cry. Eighth time today. My head hurts. I just want to lay down and go to sleep, but I get up the strength to grab a hold of Riley's legs, to try and help Joy untangle her daughter from me.

"No! Tori! Tori!" she's screaming my name over and over again. Each time it just beats me down. I'm shaking so bad. I can't even hold on to her anymore and she manages to wrap her legs around me again.

"I'm sorry!" I cry. Then I turn to Joy. "Make her stop." I plead. "Please."

Joy nods her head. She doesn't even point out the fact that she's trying. That she's been trying.

Just then Papi comes in.

Riley jumps out of my bed and into his arms so fast I didn't even see her go. One minute she was on my lap and the next she was with my dad.

"Make her let us come over still, Mr. Vega. Tell her she's being stupid." She pleads.

Papi glances at me. I look down at my lap.

I hear footsteps, and I hear Riley's voice getting quieter. She's still promising she'll be a good girl.

Joy hasn't left yet. She tucks a bit of hair behind my ears and kisses my forehead. "Bye, sweetheart." She murmurs.

I nod my head. I know she understands we won't be seeing each other for a long while.

Then she's leaving.

And I know I didn't say goodbye to Amber, but I can't seem to get up the strength to go after her.

I regret it as soon as I hear them drive away.

Papi comes to see me when they're gone. He hugs me, kisses me, and tells me he loves me, but it has nothing to do with what happened with Riley just now.

I can always tell when he's handled a bad case. He wears it on his face. He wears it for hours, sometimes days; and he always comes to me, gives me hugs, kisses me, and he tells me how much he loves me.

When this happens, I know the case had something to do with a child, with somebody's baby. And it's made Papi think of his babies.

It kind of puts things in perspective for me. Yes, Jade hurt me, but what happened to Papi's victim was probably ten times worse than anything that's ever happened to me.

So I suck it up. I stop crying. I get out of bed. I eat. I shower. I function.

It's still hard. I'm still so sad, but I'm not really hurt. Nobody shot me, knifed me, beat me…I'll be okay.

I listen to music. Not sad music to suit my mood, but upbeat, light tunes, to lift my spirits.

I just won't think about what happened. I'll just push it away from my mind. I'll push her from my mind.

That's how I get up the stones to go to school on Monday. I resolve to not thinking about it, to not thinking about her.

All day I don't talk to her, I don't look at her, I don't see her.

Not until fourth period. Sikowitz has us doing some interactive improv.

I look Jade straight in the eyes then, and I tell her that I love her.

I hate myself for it. Because I know just how much she detests me, yet I still love her. I still love her so very much.

Pathetic.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come to school today. Clearly I'm incapable of thinking with my brain. Maybe I should skip tomorrow.

Absentmindedly, I get all of my stuff out of my locker. Last bell's rung. It's time to go home.

Suddenly a hand grabs my wrist and I find myself in the janitor's closet. Funny thing, I seem to want to freak out over the fact that I'm banned from this place rather than the fact that it was Jade who pulled me in here.

"Vega, we gotta talk." She growls.

She's blocking the door, arms crossed over her chest. I just know she's not gonna let me by and I get so mad at her. Can't she just give me a few days!? I'll get over what she said. I will. I've learned my lesson. I've learned never to trust her. I've learned she'll never like me, let alone love me. I've learned, okay! Now I just need a few days away from her so I can gather myself together and be in a better state of mine to deal with her. That's all I need.

Well, no. It's not all I need. Because if it was, I'd tell her our break was over. I'd let her dump me in front of the school and tell everyone I cheated on her because I'm a big ol' slut. That way I could just get this over with. That way she can go back to Beck and we can get back to the inevitable Tori bashing.

But I can't do that. I'm not ready to let go just yet. I'm not ready to hand her over to him just yet. I'm not being vindictive. Well, maybe I am, just a little. Maybe I want to stay on break to keep her away from Beck longer. Now, I do realize that when couples are on a break, they're allowed to see other people, but just knowing that they can't fully be back together until I say break is over and Jade officially dumps me…it's enough for me right now.

"Vega?" Jade inquires, because I haven't said anything to her yet, just been glaring. "I said, we need to talk."

I roll my eyes. She's so stinkin' bossy. I don't have to do what she says. I don't have to talk to her if I don't want to.

"Move." I demand.

"No, we need to talk." She repeats. She's not glaring at me the way I'm glaring at her though. Her face is…soft. Sad.

I shake my head. I'm not gonna let her get to me.

"I don't want to talk to you." I snap at her.

"Then listen."

"I don't want to listen to you either, Jade." I spit. "Move."

I reach behind her, attempting to open the door myself, but she grabs my hand. I snatch away from her so forcefully that she nearly falls into me.

"Don't!" I yell at her. I don't want her touching me. Ever.

It feels good.

Jade blinks at me. Are those tears in her eyes?

I shake my head again. I don't care. I don't.

"You said you'd always give me a chance to explain." She says. I can barely hear her, she's talking so low. "You said you'd always try to understand."

"When did I say that?" I scoff. Besides, what could she possibly want to explain? What more do I need to understand? She hates me. It's simple.

She backs up a little, pressing her back to the door, keeping me trapped in here with her. "The day you took the girls to the beach." She answers. "You don't remember?"

I do remember saying that, but I didn't mean it. Well, I mean it but…whatever. Fine. I'll just let the girl talk and then she'll let me go.

"Don't you remember?" She asks again, her voice getting even lower. Her eyes getting even wetter.

I don't want to see that. I turn my back on her and cross my arms over my chest. "Fine talk."

"I love you."

I twist my neck a little, letting a shudder rip through me. That's not what I was expecting to hear. I wasn't expecting her to say that to me…not again, not while we weren't improvising in Sikowitz's room.

I close my eyes. I can't help but to remember the performance she put on then. It was just a last minute drive by acting exercise, but man did she get into it. She was so good that I felt like it was real. All that pain she portrayed at the thought of "losing me," all that anger and loathing she directed toward Beck for taking me away, I got so caught up in the moment that I told her I love her.

I sigh. Maybe I'm being too hard on her. I knew she didn't like me when I asked her to be my girlfriend. And I knew she was a great actress who could be convincing enough to make Danny jealous. So why am I mad at her for being good enough to convince me too? Why am I mad at her for acting like she likes me? That's what I asked her to do. That's what I paid her to do.

I brought this upon myself.

"What do you want?" I exhale, forcefully pushing the words out.

"I love you."

I start to get a bit agitated. I wish she'd stop saying that. She doesn't have to. In fact, I wish she wouldn't. "What do you want?" I repeat, a bit more impatiently.

"Vega, I love"-

"No you don't!" I cut her off, getting angry with her again. But not for pretending to like me. It's just, she could've let me down easy, you know? We could've been friends, or at least friendly, after this. She didn't have to be so cruel, but she chose to be. That's how much I mean to her. That's how much she "loves" me.

"Yes I do." She says with so much conviction that I have to mentally recall the way her face looked when she called me a slut to remind myself of what she truly feels about me. To remind myself that she finds me disgusting, and that she hates me.

"If you loved me you wouldn't have said that!" I say. I don't elaborate. I know she knows what I'm talking about.

"That's not true."

I turn around and look at her. What in Dan's name does she mean by that?

"I love you, and I still said it." She explains, her eyes lighting up just a little because I'm facing her again. "People hurt the ones they love the most, right?"

"Why?" I ask. My voice is small and I wince a little. I want to be strong. "Why'd you say it, Jade?"

"Because I wanted you to hurt the way I was hurting."

I scoff at that. "Why were you hurting?"

"You don't think you ever hurt me?"

I raise my eyebrow at her. Is this some sort of trick question? Because I've never hurt Jade. Not on purpose. I wouldn't even dream of it.

The fact that I don't take that question seriously seems to wazz her off.

She points at me accusingly. "I'm your girlfriend." Subconsciously, I note that she's using the present tense when referring to me as her girlfriend, rather than the past tense. "All I want is to spend time with you, and see you happy, but you won't let me!" She finishes.

She started off talking and ended up yelling. She's starting to get angry.

Good. I like seeing her angry rather than sad. She looks more like herself and it's easier to remember that she hates me.

I roll my eyes. "So you called me a slut?" I challenge.

She narrows her eyes at me. "That's not how it happened and you know it!"

I narrow my eyes back. How the heck could I possibly know how her calling me a slut happened? "So, how did it happen, Jade?! Enlighten me!" I yell back at her.

"Look," she makes a show of calming down and getting her anger in check. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell, but you really can't see where I'm coming from? Not at all?"

I shake my head, still trying to show anger toward her, but it's starting to fade. It's starting to fade real fast.

"Sometimes," she starts off slowly. "You get this look on your face. Like you're hurt and sad. I swear Vega, just seeing that look on your face makes me hurt too. I want to get rid of it, to help you. But every time I try, you close down on me. You won't talk about it. You won't let me help."

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath, still waiting on a reason good enough for her to call me a slut. Cause I'm just not hearing it. I mean, if she seriously expected me to tell her, the girl who hates me, all my deep dark secrets so she could use them against me later, then she's crazier than I originally thought.

"You're constantly spending time with your friends"-

"Maybe you should get some friends too." I snap. "It's easy if you don't act like a gank."

She grits her teeth a little. I know she wants to lash out. Hurt me. Maybe even call me a slut again, but that won't hurt. Not anymore. It's just a word. It can't ever make me feel any worse than it did when Jade said it Friday night. That word has absolutely no bearing on me anymore.

I should thank her for that.

"Vega," she says slowly, patiently. "You don't ever seem to want to spend time with me. I'm your girlfriend. Girlfriends spend alone time together. They talk to each other. They go out. They have fun. They laugh." She motions between me and herself. "We don't do any of that! You're always too busy spending alone time with Melissa, or talking to Josephina, or going out with Riley and Amber, or having fun with André, or laughing with freakin' Cat!"

"And that's what made you call me a slut." I deadpan.

She blows up at me. "I thought you didn't want me!" she screams. "I thought you didn't love me the way I love you! I thought you were in love with someone else! And then you asked for a fucking break?! It fucking hurt, okay?! It hurt really bad! I wanted you to hurt just as bad, and I knew how to do it, so I did. But I was wrong. I'm sorry." She's pleading with me by the end of her rant.

I blink at her and take a step back, wanting to stay cold and distant. Not wanting to feel bad.

She's just acting. She's just acting. She's just acting….

I think that phrase to myself over and over again.

But if she wasn't acting, I'd be able to see her side. I'd still be mad at her. I still am mad at her, but I would be able to see her side. I'd be able to forgive her right here, right now.

But she is acting. So I have to stay strong. I can't break.

"I'm really sorry, Vega." She persists.

I nod my head and pull my phone out of my pocket so I can check the time. Don't ask me what time it is, because I don't really know. I didn't really see. It was just for show. Then I look back up at Jade. "Can I go now?" I ask in the most detached voice I can muster.

Crestfallen. That's the look that latches onto her face.

I look away. I don't want to see hurt on her face. I'll start to believe it's real if I look too long. Because I'm stupid like that.

"Will you forgive me?" She asks. Her voice is so small, so unsure…She doesn't sound like Jade at all.

It's because she's not. She's acting.

I squeeze my eyes shut and rub at my forehead. I'm starting to get a headache and I doubt it's coming from inhaling all the cleaning supplies in this stupid closet.

"Vega?"

"Not today, Jade." I snap.

"Sometime?" I can literally hear hope in her voice. It slashes at me, breaking down a bit of my resolve. I'm trying to be strong but being with her, it's just not so easy. I need to get away from her.

"Vega?" She persists.

"Yes." I whisper, answering honestly even though it's probably not the best idea. Because I will forgive her. I know I will. I love her.

"You want space until then, don't you?" she asks.

I nod my head. "Can I go now?" It comes out like a whine. A really pathetic whine. I just know I'm about to start crying…again. I really need to get out of here.

She doesn't answer me, not until I open my eyes and see her. Then she shakes her head at me.

I bite my bottom lip. She looks so sad. She looks like she's about to cry. I don't want to see that. I can't deal.

I turn around and walk up to the old rusted ladder that's in here. It's completely useless as it doesn't go anywhere.

I grab a hold of it with both hands and rest my forehead against the cool metal. I bet I'll have a rust mark on my forehead when I pick my head back up.

"Vega?" I hear behind me. A soft whisper.

I wish she was yelling at me again. I really do.

"What?" I croak. It was so hard getting that one little word out over the huge lump in my throat.

"I know I should give you anything you want. I know I owe it to you and that you deserve it, but I don't think I can. I don't think I can give you space."

I squeeze my eyes shut and tap my forehead against the ladder's steps repeatedly. Not hard enough to hurt myself, but hard enough to show my frustrations. "Jade"-

"I'm scared."

"Of what?" I practically whine. Jade's not scared of anything. And even if she was. Even if she was a normal person who gets scared of stuff, what could she possibly be afraid of? I'm beating my own head against the ladder. I haven't raised a hand to her, and I'm not going to either.

"I feel like if I give you space, you'll think I'm not interested anymore." She answers.

I groan. She's really laying it on thick. Why's she in school still? Why hasn't she booked any jobs yet? The girl needs a freaking Grammy already.

"I'm scared that if I give you space, you'll find someone else and not want me anymore," She continues. "…And I'm too selfish to let you go. I'm sorry."

God, I can't listen to any more of this. Hay diós, ya no más.

"Can I go now?" I sniff. "Please."

I'm so pathetic.

"Can you just look at me?" She pleads.

I wipe at my eyes before slowly turning around and looking Jade West in the eye. My special blues.

She takes a step closer to me.

I can't back up anymore, but I try anyway. I end up with my back pressed flush up against the ladder. And I remember the last time I was in this position. Jade was stretching my legs, punishing me.

She hasn't done that in a while. Hurt me, I mean. Not until Friday.

"Vega," she says, taking another step toward me. She doesn't take her eyes off of me for a second. I hold on to the sides of the ladder, bracing myself for whatever's to come.

"Can I still touch you sometimes?"

I blink at her. And I stop breathing.

"What?"

"Nowhere inappropriate," she clarifies quickly before taking two more steps and standing uncomfortably close to me. "Just here…." She whispers, reaching out and touching my shoulder lightly. I can barely feel it because of my jacket. Yet I feel it all over.

I want to pull away. I'm so mad at her. I'm sooo mad at her. But I love her. I still love her so much.

So I let her touch me. She's still staring at me; looking me dead in the eyes while her fingers run down the length of my arms, and then she's touching my fingers. The back of them and my knuckles mostly because I'm currently fisting the sides of the ladder.

"Can I?" she asks again, 'cause I never answered.

I look down at my fingers, not surprised at all by how much they itch to touch her back. "Yes." I whisper, before I can even stop myself.

Pathetic.

I watch her fingers interact with mine, slowly prying them from the ladder. They're such gentle little creatures right now. The way they hold, and tug, and caress. I can feel tingles in the back of my neck because of them.

"Vega?"

I sigh and look up at her. Into her eyes. My special blues.

"What?" I whisper.

"Can I still call you baby?"

I squeeze my eyes shut and drop my head back against the ladder.

Hard.

Ow. That hurt. That hurt a lot actually; but maybe a little pain is good. Maybe it'll knock some sense into me, because I want to say yes to her so bad. But the answer's no. It has to be. I know that.

So why do I nod my head yes?

I snatch my hands away from hers and cover my face. "Can I please go now?" I whine.

She doesn't answer. I can feel her get closer to me. I can feel it because we weren't that far away to begin with and now her body's touching mine.

"Baby?" she whispers.

Oh, God. Please no more. "What, Jade?" I sob into my palms.

"Can I hold you?"

I start to cry. This girl is gonna break me completely. And I'll just let her. Because I say yes. I tell her she can hold me.

She doesn't hesitate. She doesn't give me time to change my mind. She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me up against her.

I bury my face into the side of her neck. "Jade." I cry, over and over again. I needed this Friday. I needed her to hold me then.But she didn't. She just left me feeling sad, and angry, and stupid, and worthless ….I wonder how long it's going to take for me to feel happy again. I wonder how long it's going to take for me to feel normal.

Probably a lifetime. Jade's the only one who can make me feel better and I know she won't. She's just gonna keep hurting me. And I'm gonna let her.

"Baby, I'm sorry." She whispers. "I'm so sorry."

She kisses my face, the side of my head, my ear… she doesn't ask permission. It doesn't matter anyway. I would've said yes.

"I love you, baby." She whispers. "I love you."

I move my hand over a little and press it to her mouth. I don't want her to say that to me. Not when she doesn't really mean it the way I want her to mean it.

She kisses my palm twice before grabbing my wrist and removing my hand from her face. Then she lays it on her shoulder. I grab on, holding her tight.

She holds me tight too. Like, I kinda can't breathe because her grip is that tight, but I kinda like it at the same time. It makes me feel wanted and loved. Even though I know I'm not.

I'm not crying as hard anymore. I'm nearly done when she tucks some hair behind my ear and presses her mouth to it.

"I love you." She whispers.

I felt that. I felt it everywhere. And my crying picks back up again.

Pathetic.

She says it again. "I love you, baby."

I move my hand, pressing it over her mouth again. "Stop it." I beg. "Please."

"Okay, baby," she murmurs. "I won't say it anymore."

I move my hand away on my own. I know I should keep it there, just in case she tries to say it again, but that small, twisted, part of me wants to hear it again.

Pathetic.

"I'll show you, okay?" she whispers. "How about I show you just how much I love you?"

I nod my head. That's a good line. I think I've seen it delivered in quite a few movies.

But Jade delivered it better than any of those paid actors.

I feel Jade's hands move. She's taking off my jacket.

I tense up.

"Easy, baby." She croons. "You're hot."

What? Does she really think we're gonna….you know, here? Now?

I tense even more, but not before pulling my face out of her neck and looking her in the face. I hope she's not serious. I know she thinks I really am a slut, but I still hope she's not serious.

"You're sweating." She explains, still pushing at my jacket.

Oh.

She gets rid of it quickly, almost like she doesn't want me to come to my senses and decide I wanna leave. It's like she doesn't want me to remember that I asked for space, because she seriously isn't giving it to me. She's got her arms wrapped around me again. She's holding me, just like before. She even goes as far as to manually push my face back into her neck.

And I let her…'cause I'm not ready to let go yet anyway.

Pathetic.

She pushes some hair off of my neck. It was kinda sticking there because I really am sweating pretty bad. I can't believe I hadn't noticed before.

Next thing I know, there's some really cool air on my neck.

It feels good. Real good.

Then I realize it's Jade. She's blowing on my neck.

Oh. My. God.

My eyes widen and I shiver, both are involuntary reactions. Then she does it again and I get weak in my freaking knees. Literally.

Jade catches my fall, but not before falling herself. I end up sitting in her lap.

I try to get up, but she holds me tighter, and I don't fight her.

Not even when she starts blowing on me again. That feels so good, but in the bad way. In the slutty way. I should not be feeling like this. But I do. And to top it all off, Jade's got her hand under my shirt, rubbing my back just the way I like it.

I bite my lip to keep from moaning, groaning, or making any kind of embarrassing sound. But that gets a hundred times harder when I feel Jade put her mouth on my neck.

I close my eyes tight. I can feel that it's not simply kissing. She's marking me. And I don't stop her because it's true. I'm hers.

Suddenly the door's opened behind her and Lane steps in. I think he knew we were in here because it's not like he's looking for cleaning supplies, and he doesn't look at all surprised to see us.

"You two remember you're banned from all janitors' closets here at Hollywood Arts, right?" he sighs, like he's disappointed in us.

I freeze. He's gonna send me to the principal's office. He's gonna call my parents. I'm so dead. They're gonna kill me.

Jade lets me go. It's slow, and reluctant, the way she untangles herself from me and stands. Then she turns to look at Lane. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He eyes her curiously before stepping aside and letting her out. I try to come out too, but Jade presses a hand to my chest, stopping me. "Stay here, baby." She commands before shutting me back in the closet.

I can't make out what they're saying, but the conversation isn't too long. I have enough time to put my jacket back on and chew away seven of my fingernails.

I'm not usually a nail biter, but when my parents find out I'm suspended for being caught in the closet with Jade again, they're gonna make me wish I was dead. That's plenty enough to be nervous about.

Then Lane's opening the door back up and handing me a tissue.

That's it. That's all he does before walking away. He's not bringing me to the office and he doesn't say anything about calling my parents.

Can you say relief?

"We're free to go, Tori." Jade says.

My heart stops. I don't know why. I know Jade doesn't like me. I know that. But I hate the reminder. I hate that she called me Tori. She hates Tori.

"How about I show you just how much I love you?"

That line comes back to me suddenly. That's why she called me Tori. So she can show me just how much she "loves" me. So she can remind me that she actually hates me.

Clever.

I wish I was clever. If I was, I would've never let her hold me, because it kinda made me forget that she hates me. In fact, just being around her and her superior acting skills makes me forget how much she hates me.

Ugh! I need to get away!

"Tori?"

The second my name leaves her mouth, I scream at her, "Don't call me that!"

"It's your name." she rebuttals. She looks confused, but I know she's not. I know she's acting.

I turn on my heels and start power walking toward the exit.

"Vega!" I hear Jade call behind me. I ignore her, trying to walk faster. I'm out of the school now, almost to my car.

"Vega!" Jade yells again, just before grabbing my arm.

I shake my arm loose without a backwards glance and keep going.

She jogs in front of me and grabs my shoulders, forcing me to stop. "Vega, what the fuck is the matter?"

I want to tell her to go splunk herself, but I blurt out, "Why would you call me that? You hate Tori!" instead.

Jade's eyes widen a little. "Baby, I don't hate you. I love"-

"Don't!" I scream, slapping her hands off of me. I can't let her touch me.

It distracts me.

"Okay." She holds her hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry. Lane told me to call you that."

I start walking to my car again. Do I really wanna hear her excuses? No. I don't. I just wanna go home.

Jade walks beside me. "He said you might think I'm serious about you if I stop calling you by your last name, okay? I'm sorry. I won't call you that again. I promise." She rushes.

I roll my eyes. I know just how good she is at keeping her promises.

"Whatever." I mutter before sidestepping her and quickly making my way toward my car.

"It's true." She insists, coming up behind me.

"I didn't say you were lying." I shrug my shoulders. Going for uncaring.

That's what I need to do. I need to adopt this sort of detached attitude where Jade is concerned. It'll help me in the long run to keep my feelings to myself.

"What's it gonna take, Vega? Huh?" Jade sighs impatiently. "You wanna hit me with your car? Stab me with my special scissors? Shoot me with your dad's Taser? Hold my head down under"-

"I don't want to hurt you, Jade." I have to cut her off. I have a feeling she would've gone on forever. And I just wanna go. I just wanna get away from her. I think I might need a couple days away from her, so I can harden my heart and learn to keep my emotions inside.

"Oh, fine, just rub it in!" she yells at me.

"What?" I toss over my shoulder, not even bothering to look at her.

"The fact that you're too good for me and I don't deserve you."

I roll my eyes. And they say Trina's a drama queen. I think Jade takes the cake, except her cake is more like a mud pie. All dark and inedible.

I open my car door, she slams it shut…on my hand.

I scream. Loud.

Jade's screaming too. Freaking out and asking what's wrong with me. I swear I'd laugh if I wasn't in so much pain. Like there's no way she's acting right now. Not with that wazzout.

She realizes the problem within a couple of seconds and opens the door. I swear those were the longest three seconds of my life. Oh my god. That hurt so freakin bad.

"Oh God, baby." She grabs at my hand. I snatch it away from her.

"Sit down." She commands, pushing me into the driver's seat, my feet hanging out the door. Then she kneels in front of me and reaches for my hand again.

I hold it to my chest. I'm not letting her touch it. I'm not letting anyone touch it!

I ball up my lips and hold my breath until I'm about to faint before taking a deep breath and doing it all over again.

"Baby, it was an accident. I'm sorry." She apologizes again. One of her hands is on my thigh, squeezing gently. The other is reaching toward my throbbing hand. "Lemme see it."

I shake my head. "Leave me alone."

She ignores me, grabbing my wrist anyway.

"No!" I scream. I have to admit, screaming feels good. Far better than holding my breath. So I do it some more. "Leave me alone! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

Holy chiz on a saltine. I just dropped the f-bomb.

Her eyes widen.

My eyes widen.

My dad's eyes widen.

Wait…my dad?

He's here. Standing beside Jade. I didn't notice him come up. I didn't realize he was here. I'm so, so, dead.

He takes a look at my hand, then he tells me to go home and put some ice on it.

That's it. For now anyway.

I'm so happy he didn't chew me out in front of Jade West that I turn around in my seat and shut my door without giving it a second thought. Without realizing that it's weird for my dad to come to my school….in his squad car…while wearing his uniform. He hasn't done that since first grade when he came to talk to my class about safety stuff.

Then I see he's talking to Jade and pointing to the back door of the police car.

She nods her head and starts walking toward it.

What the heck?

I get out of my car. "Dad, what are you doing here anyway?"

"I'll see you at home, Victoria."

Seriously? Victoria?

I step in front of him and he grabs a hold of Jade's upper arm, like the type of hold I've seen him give perps. He didn't put her in handcuffs, but instinctively I know that that's the kind of trouble she's in. "Dad, it was an accident." I explain. I know we're not getting along right now, but that doesn't mean I want her to go to jail. Especially not for some silly little fight.

"I'll see you at home." He repeats. He's using his warning tone now, telling me not to make a scene.

Too freakin bad.

"You can't arrest my…You can't arrest her. I don't want to press charges, plus it was an accident!"

"This has nothing to do with you." He hisses at me. "Now, let me do my job."

That's when I remember. He is dressed in his uniform. He did come in his squad car. That means he'd been planning on arresting Jade since before he saw our small confrontation. But for what?

He moves around me, Jade in tow.

I move back in front of him.

"What are the charges?"

"Tori…."

"Papi, the charges!" I hiss angrily.

"Assault and battery."

"Against who?"

"Hudson Brown."

I blink and look at Jade. She's not looking at me, just staring at the ground.

She assaulted Hudson? Why? And how does she even know him?

Dad takes another step forward, pushes me out of the way, and then he opens the back door and puts Jade in there.

I freeze up a little, staring at Jade. She won't meet my eyes. She stares ahead, putting on a blank face, acting like she's okay.

That's what does it for me. That's what gets me moving. Because if she's acting like she's okay, then that means she's not okay. She's probably scared out of her mind. I know I would be.

I run around the front of the car and block my dad from getting into the driver's seat.

"Tori!"

"You have to take me too." I say.

"What?"

"I hit him first." I confess. "I broke his nose."

At first, Papi doesn't look like he believes me, but he can tell when I'm not lying if he concentrates enough. And he's concentrating now. I can tell the exact moment he believes me. His eyes widen. So do his nostrils. "It was self-defense." He says to me. Telling me that I was provoked. Telling me that I'm not going to jail. That he's not sending me.

I shake my head. Truth is, Hudson's never done anything to me personally. I'm just scared of him because, well, he's like a rattlesnake. You don't have to get bitten by one to know not to go near them, you know.

"You are not going to jail." Papi says, like it's final. Like he won't hear another word from me. "I'll see you when I get home."

He grabs my arm, attempting to push me out of the way, but I don't budge.

"Why not?" I ask stubbornly. "I broke the law, just like Jade, and you're taking her to jail."

"Jade's not a cop's daughter!" he snaps at me.

"So I get to break the law, just because I'm a cop's daughter?" I snap right back.

He bends down, just a little. Just enough to put himself at eye level with me. "Prisoners don't like cops, Tori." He starts off quite menacingly. "Cops put prisoners in jail. How do you think the inmates will feel about you, a cop's daughter? What do you think they will do, huh?"

I gulp. I never really thought about that. But still…I can't just do nothing while he takes my….while he takes Jade to jail.

I take a deep breath. "I'll turn myself in." I threaten.

"Tori!" he grabs my arm, thankfully it doesn't belong to the hand that's throbbing.

"What?" I challenge bravely.

"I'm not going to let you! If I have to rent a dungeon to lock you up in"-

"What do you expect me to do? You can't send Jade there!"

"It's not like they're gonna put you two in the same cell!" he yells back, clearly agitated with me.

I don't care. I'm agitated too.

"Then do something!" I yell.

"Tori"-

"Has algo!" I repeat.

"Alright, alright!" He relents. "I'll see what I can do."

Before I can thank him, he hops into his car and drives away.

Driving home one handed isn't too hard, but I'm a bit of a wreck so I decide to walk it. My mind's kinda all over the place so I get lost a few times, but then I make it home.

No one's there. I'm not surprised. In fact, I prefer it this way. I'm not in the mood to deal with Trina, and I don't feel like explaining anything to Mom.

I do a lot to try to keep myself busy. But only things that don't require too much thought, like pacing, and showering, and pacing, and eating, and pacing, and checking the time, and pacing. I do that for hours. Literally hours because that's how long it takes for my dad to walk through the front doors.

I run up to him.

He already knows what I want, so he doesn't give me time to ask.

"She's on house arrest until her hearing."-

"When's that?" I interrupt.

"In a week."

I breathe a sigh of relief. No matter what Jade does to me, I'll never want her hurt, or in jail. "Did you talk to her? Do you know why she….?"

"No." he shakes his head.

I frown. "No what?"

"I didn't talk to her." He pats my head and tells me he loves me.

That's right. The case he handled. It's still weighing on him.

I go upstairs and pull out my phone. I should call Jade, tell her I'm happy she's home, maybe even ask her why she went after Hudson in the first place, but I don't.

I care way too much. I need to learn to stop. I need space.

Yeah, right.

The next day, I'm at school for all of ten minutes before Jade makes it apparent that she's not gonna give me any.

She meets me at my locker while I'm pulling out stuff for first period. It takes longer than usual because I gotta do it with one hand. My right hand still hurts from Jade shutting it in my car door yesterday, but I just took some painkillers so I'm expecting the pain to wear off soon.

"Hey," she greets.

I ignore her. Maybe if I do it enough, I'll start to not feel anything toward her.

Maybe.

Lissa comes up a few seconds later. She doesn't greet me. She addresses Jade. "What's that on your ankle?"

"A heart monitor." Jade monotones before grabbing at the book in my hand.

"So, what'd you do?" Lissa persists.

"No!"

Lissa jumps a little. I'm a little used to that. In fact, I start to look in my bag for my coffee lip gloss because that's what I normally do when Jade's cranky, but then I remember. We're on a break. And then I remember why we're on a break.

I shake my head at myself.

Space. I'll remember we're on a beak if I can get some freakin space from her.

I try to take my book from Jade, but she snatches it out of my reach and leads the way to my class.

"Come on, Icky." Melissa smirks at me.

I glare back at her. This isn't funny.

I sit down and Jade places my books on my desk. She touches the back of my neck before giving it a little squeeze. I shiver a little and jerk away from her hand.

Space. I need space.

Jade leans down, her mouth millimeters from my ear. "You said I could." She whispers. Then she's gone.

Just how the heck am I supposed to get space if she's gonna be touching me? I hold my forehead in my hand, and chastise myself for giving Jade permission to touch me, during the entire first period.

When the bell rings, I'm the first one out. I gotta get to second period in a hurry. I have a feeling Jade's gonna try and meet me at my locker again.

My stomach drops a little when I get there. But it's not Jade standing by my locker. It's Beck.

What does he want?

"Hey Tori," he smiles a little.

I try to smile back. I really do. But I can't. Jade loves him. And he loves her. I know that. I knew it before I asked Jade to pretend to be my girlfriend, but it didn't bother me then. I didn't love Jade then.

"Listen. I wanna ask you a question." Beck drops his smile and gives me a serious look.

"Okay," I shrug a bit lifelessly. I know what's coming. He's about to ask me about Jade.

"You wanna hang out with me Friday night?"

I blink at him, sure I heard wrong.

"You know, just me and you."

I'm so confused.

"What?" I frown.

"We could just go to the movies, nothing fancy." He keeps going.

I shake my head. "I can't."

"Why not? Jade asked for a break, right? So that means you guys can see other people." He smiles easily.

I shake my head again. I don't even know how to respond, so I answer with the only thing I'm sure of. "Jade didn't ask for a break. I did."

He rolls his eyes. "Did she tell you to say that?"

I shake my head for the third time in under a minute. Why would she tell me to say that?

"Why would it matter who asked for the break?" I ask. "Either way, we're on a break."

"It does matter who asked." He mumbles before walking away.

He's upset. But why? Me and Jade are on a break. He can ask her out. He didn't have to ask me out to try and make her jealous. Yeah, I finally understand that that's what he was doing.

I'm so tired of these mind games.

I go to class, but I'm not really there. I don't feel so good. My head's starting to hurt again. And my heart too. It's starting to hurt again.

Usually, I look forward to Sikowitz's class. He's my favorite teacher. But today, I'm dreading it. It's the first class I share with Jade. So naturally, second and third period zoom by.

I do the same thing I did after first period. I hurry to my locker so I don't meet Jade in the hallways.

Not that it helps any.

Jade sits behind me in Sikowitz's class. I know it. I can feel it. So I refuse to look behind myself the whole period. And I pray my teacher doesn't volunteer me and Jade to act out a scene.

He doesn't.

He calls a couple shruggers to the stage, I guess so he can switch it up. But after a while, I start to wish I was on stage.

Jade's not touching me, but I keep expecting her to. I keep expecting to feel her fingers against my back. And the thought isn't entirely unwelcomed.

Ugh! I gotta get outta here.

The bell rings and I run out of class.

I pick a different table to sit at for lunch today. I pick the table as far away from "our" usual table as possible. But honestly, I should just leave the campus. It's not like she can follow me with the ankle monitor on. She can only be in two places while on house arrest. School and home.

I sigh. Maybe I don't really want as much space as I claim to. And I'm not at all surprised when Jade sits down next to me.

I groan. "Jade…"

"I'm not giving you any space!" she snaps at me before taking a huge, aggressive, bite of her burrito.

I sigh, moving my salad around with my fork. I should really eat. I haven't been doing a lot of that lately, but I haven't really been that hungry either.

Melissa joins us and sits on the other side of me.

"Hey, babe. Why are we sitting all the way over here?"

A little bit of beans land in my salad, and I realize Jade squeezed her burrito so hard that the filling came squirting out.

She glares at me, then Melissa.

What's wrong with her?

Melissa smiles at Jade. Then she pinches my arm. "Are you gonna answer my question or not, babe?"

Oh, I get it. Melissa keeps calling me babe so Jade's acting jealous.

I shrug. "Just wanted a change of scenery." I answer my friend.

"Did you get it?"

"No."

I sigh and push at my salad some more.

Suddenly the sun's blocked. I look up as André sits down in front of me.

"Why are we sitting all the way over here?" he asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

He shrugs his back.

Then Beck comes over and sits next to André.

I sigh some more.

"Why are we sitting all the way over here?" He frowns.

"You can sit elsewhere!" Jade hisses while I shrug at him.

Beck ignores Jade's grumpiness and asks André something about history…I think. I'm not really paying that much attention. Not until Cat, Robbie and Rex come over.

"Why are we"-

"No!" Jade screams.

Cat squeaks and covers her ears.

Amber does that. I have to cover her ears when people, mainly Jade and Riley, are yelling 'cause she doesn't like it.

I push at my food some more and shake my head. Thinking about the twins is not a good way to detach myself from Jade.

I take a deep breath and keep my head down. No one talks to me. Not really. I get away with a bunch of uh-huhs as an answer.

That is until Jade takes a call. I'm pretty sure she's talking to Joy. She sighs a lot and groans out a couple of, "mom…"s.

Then she's saying. "No, she doesn't want to. I know she doesn't…fine…fine…I'll ask."

"Baby?"

I look at her. It's automatic.

"Do you want the twins Thursday?"

I freeze. I'd love to have the twins Thursday. But…is she really okay with it? Is she just messing with me? Is she just acting?

I shake my head, trying to snap myself out of it. I can try.

"I told you she doesn't, Mom."

I shake my head again. "Wait"-

Jade turns to me and motions toward my food. "Eat, baby." Then she goes back to her phone call, dismissing me.

I snap my mouth shut. She didn't really want me to say yes. She was just asking for Joy's benefit.

"Okay…bye….Mom!" Jade groans and rolls her eyes before ducking her head under the table. "I love you too." She whispers.

Then she sits back up and bangs her phone down onto the table.

I'm staring at her. I'm not even aware of it until she locks eyes with me.

"Eat." She commands.

André shakes his head at us. "This is the weirdest break up ever."

"We're not broken up!" Jade glares.

"Fine, weirdest break ever."

Melissa nods her head in agreement. "Yeah, why are you guys on a break anyway?"

"I don't know." Jade says before taking another bite of her now nearly beanless burrito.

I narrow my eyes Jade. She knows exactly why we're on a break, and I start to tell her so but she interrupts me. "You asked for a break before I did any name calling."

I shut my mouth. She's right. We're not on a break because she called me a slut. I was asking for a break before that, and I didn't give her a reason. I just said we need space.

I look back down at my plate and push my lettuce around some more.

"That's not eating." Jade says. "Get some of that into your mouth."

I scowl at her. "I am eating."

"You are not."

I roll my eyes and continue to play with my food.

"Fine." She says. Then she picks up her phone. "Let's see… Papa Vega, Papa Vega, Papa- here he is, right in the Ps."

I glare at her. Is she seriously threatening to tell my dad? "You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?"

I decide to call her bluff.

Bad choice.

She puts the phone up to her ear. "Hey," she says.

I still think she's faking. I still refuse to believe she's actually talking to my dad. I mean, who does that?

"Do you remember if my girlfriend ate anything for breakfast?" she continues. "No? What about dinner last night…. She's not eating her lunch….yeah, ok…" Jade hands me her phone. "It's for you."

"That's not funny, Jade." I say, still hoping she's faking it. Still hoping she's acting.

Jade shrugs and puts her phone back to her ear. "She doesn't want to talk to you….okay, bye."

Not even a second after Jade ends her call, my phone starts to ring and everyone laughs at me. She really did call my father!

"Jade!" I squeal.

"What?"

"You know what!" I glare at her before answering my phone. "Hi, Papi."

"Don't you hi Papi me…." he starts lecturing me.

I glare at Jade again. She doesn't smile smugly, just takes her fork and stabs at my lunch before aiming the food at my mouth. Then she raises her eyebrows challengingly. Sexily.

No. Not sexily.

I open my mouth and she brings the fork closer. I don't know how it's all gonna fit, but I try anyway. It beats talking to my dad.

Not all of the salad makes it in and Jade pushes the rest in with her index. I end up accidently biting her.

"Shit!" she swears. Then she sucks on her finger.

Oops.

"Sorry, Papi" I mumble while chewing the food. "I can't talk right now, I'm eating."

"Yeah, you better eat all of your food, young lady."

I hang up. How embarrassing!

"Jade." Everyone, including me, looks over at Beck.

"What?" She asks, still sucking on her finger and glaring at me for biting her.

"Can I see you for a minute?" he answers, pointing away from the table, indicating that he wants to have a private moment with her.

"No." She answers calmly. Then she snaps at me. "Eat."

I fork up more of my lunch and shove it in my mouth without a word.

"Why not?" Beck blinks at her.

"I'm already in the fucking doghouse as it is." Jade explains. "You seriously can't see why it wouldn't be wise of me to have a private moment with my ex?"

He opens his mouth; then closes it a few times.

"Just say what you gotta say." She murmurs, taking another look at her finger. I still didn't apologize for biting her yet.

Beck looks around, like he's not sure about saying what it is he has to say in front of everyone.

"If it's really important, you'll say what's on your mind," Jade taunts. It's more of a challenge though.

"Alright," he sits up straighter, accepting the challenge. "You and Tori are on a break."

"Don't remind me." she rolls her eyes. "Baby, eat."

"I am eating." I argue back, though I'm not.

She forks up more of my food and presses it to my mouth.

It's really easy to ignore the fork at your mouth when the love of your life's ex is trying to sidle his way back into her life. And that's what I do. I stare at Beck while Jade holds a forkful of lettuce up to my lips.

"I think we should hang out, just me and you." Beck continues.

See?

He's so freaking bold.

He must really love her.

Everyone goes quiet, and I'm so tempted to break the silence. I'm so tempted to tell Jade that Beck asked me out first, just to make her mad at him, but I can't. I can't seem to say anything.

"So?" Beck persists.

"No."

"No?" he frowns, making it quite obvious that's not the answer he was expecting to hear.

Jade sighs. "No, we can't hang out."

"You're on a break," he repeats.

"I didn't ask for a break." She snaps. "I don't want a break." She nearly stabs at her burrito with her fork, but then she notices there's still salad on it. She turns her attention back on me. "Baby, open your fucking mouth."

I do as I'm told.

And again she has to help fit the lettuce into my mouth. She uses her thumb instead of her index this time and I try to make a conscious effort not to bite her again.

"Happy now," I ask around a mouthful of my lunch.

"No." she frowns back at me. "I'll be happy when this stupid break is over."

"I'm not stupid."

"Chew with your mouth closed."

I notice she doesn't say, 'I didn't call you stupid.'

I nearly tell her that I'm not stupid again, but Sinjin comes up to us.

"Why are you guys sitting way over"-

"What the fuck do you want?" Jade cuts in.

I cringe. She's so freakin cranky. And every time she has one of her little cranky outbursts, I just wanna pull out my lip gloss, but I can't.

"Don't forget, you promised to help me with my show, Queries for Couples, today." Sinjin continues without missing a beat. He's got this weird obsession with Jade so I don't think he minds the way she talks to him, just so long as she talks to him at all.

"I can't," I sigh. I totally forgot about that. "Me and Jade are on a break."

He grabs my shoulders and presses his nose to mine. "Then pretend." He growls. His eyes flash, and his voice drops to an octave so low he sounds possessed. Like by a soul sucking demon.

"O-okay." I agree.

"Thank you." he says sweetly.

Jade smirks at me. It's not funny. I think I wazzed my pants a little.

"I need two more couples," Sinjin says suggestively, eyeing everyone at the table.

"Me and Cat can be a couple." Robbie offers quickly.

"Good." Sinjin claps. "One more."

Nobody says anything. Rex, Beck, André, and Melissa are suddenly fascinated by their PearPhones.

"Nnnnoooooooowwwwwwwww!" Sinjin bellows.

"André?" Melissa says.

"Okay." He shrugs.

"Thank you," Sinjin sings as he literally skips away. He's too tall to freakin' skip.

The good thing about helping Sinjin with his game rehearsal thing is that we get to skip fifth period.

So right after lunch we all head for the Blackbox Theatre. Beck comes too, even though he wasn't officially invited. But I'm sure Sinjin won't mind.

Thankfully there aren't that many people in the audience. Just some students who are on their free period, like Sinjin, and the guy Sinjin's trying to impress, Hevey Goobersteing. No, Harbor Guben. No…I don't know. He's the guy that runs Gamegoomercom.

There are three booth-like seats up on stage. They're definitely for couples as they're shaped like hearts. We all go up on stage and sit down quickly. André and Melissa in the first seat, Robbie and Cat in the middle, and me and Jade in the last seat. Well, I guess it could be considered the first seat if the audience is looking from right to left.

We all wait about ten minutes for Sinjin to get his chiz together and for the audience to calm down. Then we start.

It's like every other game show, I guess. Sinjin comes on and welcomes everyone to the show. Then he introduces my sister as the Query Girl. She dances her way across the stage and stands by the big heart with the digital display screen in the middle. I'm guessing that's where our queries are gonna end up.

I squirm a little in my seat. The booth is big enough for two people, for a couple; yet, I know Jade is sitting so close to me on purpose.

She smells so freakin good.

I shift a little more and she scoots even closer to me. "You okay?" she asks.

I nod my head.

Her voice is really sensual when she's talking low like that. But I don't want to think of her like that, in a sexual way.

I can't help it though. Jade puts her hand in my lap, where my hands are, and soon she's touching my fingers, holding my hands, caressing my palms. All of her touches are slow, gentle, tantalizing. I feel tingles in my hand.

I feel tingles in other places too.

Maybe I really am a slut. I must be if all it takes is a few touches on my hand from a girl who hates my guts and I get the urge to splunk her.

"Thank you for being here at the first rehearsal of my very own game show Queries for Couples!" Sinjin announces, directing his speech toward the audience.

I sit up straighter and snatch my hands from Jade's.

I need to focus.

There are a few polite applause from the audience; which is to be expected. It's Sinjin's creation after all.

"And now, it's time to play….." he pauses there, allowing the audience to fill in the blank.

"Queries for Couples." they chorus unenthusiastically.

He seems very satisfied by that and walks over to André and Melissa. "Now, let's take a look at our first query for couple number one."

Jade grabs my hand again.

I try my best to ignore how good it feels. I try my best to detach.

It's not working too good.

"Melissa," Sinjin starts. "André doesn't have enough money to pay for your date. Do you:

A) Pay for it and laugh about it when it's over.

B) Pay for it and never speak of it again.

C) Pay for it and never go on a date with him again.

Or D), panic because you didn't bring any money with you."

Melissa thinks on it for a second, then she looks over at me and Jade with a frown on her face.

What the heck?

"That's a sexist question." She says. "And it's unfair."

Seriously? How the heck isn't it a fair question?

"Why wouldn't I bring my own money?" Melissa continues. "Why does André have to pay? Because he's the guy? How would you have asked Tori and Jade this question? They're both girls, you know."

I guess Sinjin thinks Melissa has a point because the next thing I know, he's looking out into the audience. "Beck, can you come up here and be either Tori, or Jade's, boyfriend?"

Beck stands up.

"No!" Jade yells.

Beck sits back down quickly.

"André answer the fucking question." Jade snaps. But her swear word is beeped out. I'd think it was neat if I wasn't a bit agitated.

"This is a family show, Jade!" Sinjin hisses.

Jade squeezes my hand super tight.

"I don't give a" -

Beep!

I try to tug my hand out of her grasp, but she won't let go. "Ow, Jade. My-

Beep!

I stop and look at Sinjin. I just got beeped, but I didn't say anything wrong. I wasn't even gonna say anything wrong.

"What the"-

Beep!

"Sinjin, I"-

Beep! Beep!

"Seriously, I"-

Beeeeep!

"Tori," Cat calls.

"What!" I yell back.

Beep!

She puts her index over her lips. "Shhh."

My eye twitches a little. But I don't say another word. I just pout a little, and grumble under my breath. Only to get beeped again. I'm not even saying any stupid bad words!

I cross my arms over my chest and kick at the stupid cubby desk thing in front of me.

"Ow."

Beep!

I stay quiet, but me and Sinjin glare at each other until he's satisfied I won't make his stupid beeper go off again.

Jade wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me up against her. I tense up a little but otherwise let her do it. And when she lazily rubs her fingers up and down my arm, I get the tingles again. And not all of them in my arm.

Sinjin goes back to Melissa and André, repeating the question. This time Melissa presses her little button and André answers "A."

They got it right.

I scowl at them. All that fuss about the game being sexist and unfair and they still got their question right.

Melissa winks at me.

Ugh!

"Alright, on to couple number two." Sinjin says a little bit too enthusiastically.

"Yay!" Cat sings.

"Cat," Sinjin brings the microphone so close to his lips he's practically eating it.

Gross.

"Which cartoon couple best describes your relationship with Robbie. Is it:

A) Catdog.

B) Doug and Patty.

C) Arnold and Helga.

Or is it D), SpongeBob and Patrick."

Cat happily pushes a button without thinking it over for a second.

"Robbie?"

"I think Cat chose B) Doug and Patty." Robbie answers with so much confidence.

"And Cat actually chose…." Sinjin pauses there to let Cat's answer show up on the screen.

"C. SpongeBob and Patrick." Trina answers, much to Sinjin's dismay.

Ouch. That answer has friend zone written all over it, but it's clear Robbie has a thing for Miss Patty Mayonnaise. I mean, Cat.

After he's done arguing with Trina about how she's not allowed to talk but keeps doing it, Sinjin comes up to me and Jade next.

"Jade," he starts off.

"What?"

"You're five year old son, Tommy"-

"I would never name my son Tommy."

"Jade!"

"No!"

"Fine, what's his name?"

"Joseph." She answers without missing a beat. And my heart beats faster. That's the name I was gonna give my son. My first born son anyway. Or if I have a girl first, she'd be Josephina. I promised Josie. "My girlfriend promised her childhood sweetheart she'd name her first kid after her." Jade finishes with a bit of an eye roll.

"Well that's big of you," Melissa butts in.

"Tell me about it." Jade answers.

"She is not my childhood sweetheart." I snap.

"You know, I'm not too sure I like that name for my nephew anyway."

"Shut up, Trina!" Me and Sinjin yell together.

"Nobody likes you." Jade adds on.

"People do like me!"

It's so quiet in here.

"They do!" Trina insists.

It's so, so, quiet in here. I have to break the silence. Trina's still my sister.

"What was the rest of the query, Sinjin?"

"Right, Jade, your five year old son, Joseph, says a bad word. Do you:

A) Give him a timeout.

B) Wash his mouth out with soap.

C) Wait for Tori to come home to deal with him.

Or D), shrug it off?"

I'm about to press the letter D when Jade grabs my hand. "Don't answer that yet." Then to Sinjin, she says, "It depends."

"On what?"

"Is he adopted or did Tori carry him?"

"Why can't you carry him?" I ask automatically, although if I was to have a child with Jade, I see myself being the carrier. But wouldn't it be something to see Jade be the pregnant wife?

"I don't birth people." Jade reminds me, earning a few laughs from the audience. I kinda forgot they were all there.

"He's not people Jade, Joseph is our son!"

"Fine, I'll carry the next one."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"So," Sinjin cuts in. "A, B, C, or D,. Jade."

"Don't answer yet." Jade grabs my hand. "It depends on who the father is."

"Really?" I scoff.

"Yeah, like, are we doing the sperm bank thing, or are we getting a donation from one of our friends?"

"I'll donate." Robbie volunteers.

"I am not raising Robbie's son!"

"What about Beck's?" I ask. It just slips out. I don't even know where it came from.

Jade starts to get mad. Like, her face is turning red, and she's breathing hard, and she's working her jaw from side to side. And she's squeezing my hand again.

The dragon is back.

I try to scoot away from her, but really, how far can I go?

"I'll donate." André offers, but I think it's to help with the tension.

I send him a grateful smile.

"No you won't." Melissa flips her hair.

"Uh, I won't?" André frowns, truly confused.

"Do you really think I'd be okay with them raising my boyfriend's kids?"

"Uh…" he stumbles.

"And what if we wanted to have our own? They'd be like family."

"That's bad?"

"I don't want to be related to Jade in any way, shape, or form." Melissa glares.

André gives me a helpless shrug. I guess he can't find fault with that logic.

"Sorry guys." He says.

Melissa winks at me. I know it's because she wouldn't really have a problem with me and Jade raising André's kid. Number one, they're not really dating. And number two; she was just causing a scene to distract us from my Beck slip up. I still can't believe I did that.

It works because Jade's no longer got my hand in a death grip. She back to tantalizing strokes against my fingers that I can feel elsewhere.

"A random stranger it is," Sinjin rushes. "Now answer the question."

"What was the question again?" Jade asks.

"Your five year old son, Tommy"-

"Joseph."

"Your five year old son, Joseph, says a bad word. Do you:

A) Give him a timeout.

B) Wash his mouth out with soap.

C) Wait for Tori to come home to deal with him.

Or D) shrug it off?"

"Don't answer that yet." Jade tells me. "It depends."

Seriously?

"On what?" I ask, a bit exasperated.

"Why'd he say it?"

"Who cares why he said it!" Sinjin yells. "Tommy"-

"Joseph!"

"Is five years old. He said a bad word. What are you gonna do about it?!"

Jade glares at him for a moment. Then she says, "What were my options again?"

Sinjin bangs his head a couple of times with the mic. So, Trina gladly steps in.

"A) Give him a timeout.

B) Wash his mouth out with soap.

C) Wait for Tori to come home to deal with him.

Or D) shrug it off?"

I press D before Jade can find a way to procrastinate some more.

"D." Jade answers a few seconds later.

"And you're answer is…. correct." Sinjin announces.

Jade smiles at me. "You know me so well, baby."

I glare back at her. "That doesn't mean it was the right answer, Jade!"

She blinks at me. "Seriously? Are you seriously mad at me right now?"

I ignore her. "Next question, Sinjin"

"Don't rush me."

"Jeez-the-Beep-us! Joseph isn't even here yet!"

"I don't Beeep!"-

That again! I was just gonna say that I don't care! I fume silently because I don't feel like hearing that bleeping beeping sound again.

Jade mumbles under her breath. I can't make out her words. I bet she's saying bad words, but does the beep pick up on them? Nooooo….

"Alright, now it's time for round two." Trina announces.

"I say that!" Sinjin yells at her.

"Oh, well I said it first." She smiles sweetly.

Sinjin stomps his way back over to couple number one. "André," he says, still glaring some.

"What's up?"

"You're ex is back in town and she has no money and nowhere to stay,"

A chorus of "Oooooo's" can be heard from the audience.

"Would you:

A) Give her the couch.

B) Give her money for a hotel.

C) Tell her to sleep in her car.

Or D), slam the door in her face before she can even say anything?"

Melissa locks in her answer quickly.

"I'm gonna go with A." André says. "I'd give her the couch."

"And Melissa said André would say…."

Melissa's answer's revealed on the digital screen next to me. "I picked A, because that's what André would do," she explains. "But then he'd call me and I'd tell him to make her sleep outside, and he'd do it, right André?" she warns him in a very sweet tone.

"Um, right?" André gulps.

Melissa smiles at him, then Sinjin, while the audience laughs.

Even the guy who runs chuckles a little bit.

"Okay, couple number two." Sinjin smiles, gaining a bit of confidence since his show hasn't completely failed to entertain. Then he moves down a little. "Robbie, Cat only has one more hour to live."

"Oh my God!" Cat nearly faints.

"It's okay Cat," Robbie pats her shoulder.

"That's easy for you to say, you've got your whole life ahead of you!" she wails, throwing her arms up dramatically to emphasis just how much more time Robbie has than her.

"It's just pretend, Lil' Red." André offers.

"Oh, okay." She smiles, instantly happy again.

"Which would Cat most likely want to do?" Sinjin continues:

A) Spend time with her favorite people.

B) Eat all of her favorite foods.

C) Play all of her favorite games.

Or D), cry about it."

Robbie answers quickly, almost confidently. But I'm pretty sure he got the wrong answer. I'm pretty sure he said A.

"Okay Cat." Sinjin asks. "Which would you rather do?"

"B!" She squeals. "I'd eat bibble until I died!"

"Cat!" Robbie whines.

"What? I love bibble."

"It's true, Robbie. The girl loves her some bibble." André offers. Robbie glares at him, then turns his attention back to Cat. "You're supposed to love me more!"

"But I don't." she frowns.

"Pretend!"

"No."

"I'll get you some bibble."

"No!" Everybody screams. And I mean everybody. Me, Sinjin, Jade, André, Melissa, Trina, the people in the audience…that's how bad, and infamous, Cat's addiction to bibble is.

Cat covers her ears. Instantly, I'm reminded of Amber once again.

I bite my lip and wait for Sinjin to come to me and Jade and ask another question…query. He argues with Trina for a bit because she keeps trying to outshine him, but then he finally gets it together and addresses me.

"Tori, you broke Jade's favorite china plate. Will she:

Scream at you and make you buy another one.

Probably.

B) Shrug it off.

Probably.

Clean the mess up for you so you don't cut yourself"-

I don't hear my fourth option. I just blurt out C. That's what Jade would do. I just know it. Because she's does stuff like that. A lot. She's always showing that she cares.

No, she's always acting like she cares.

Acting.

My head starts to hurt.

I jump up out of my seat.

Jade grabs my arm. "Baby"-

"Stop it." I pull away from her and run out of the Black Box Theater.

I end up in the bathroom. It's the best place to have a meltdown. Well, the janitors' closets are ideal, but I'm banned from them.

I half expect Melissa to come find me. She was the one who came after me the last time I ran into the bathroom, but I know it'll be Jade who comes for me. So, I don't even make an attempt to hide in one of the stalls. I sit on the sink and wait for her.

She doesn't take long. But she doesn't look like she rushed to get here either.

She shuts and locks the door behind her. Then she approaches me cautiously, like she's afraid I'm gonna bolt.

I'm not gonna lie. I'm thinking about it.

"Vega?" she speaks once she's finally in front of me, resting her hands on my knees.

I close my eyes. That feels good too. But it's my freakin knees. Just my knees. Why am I getting tingles from her touching my knees?

God, I need space. I have to figure out a way to make her give me space.

Why was it she said she wouldn't do it again? Something about being afraid I won't love her anymore and that I'll fall for someone else, right? I'm pretty sure that was it.

"Vega, say something."

I open my eyes and look into hers. My special blues.

"Jade," I start off, getting the strength to lay everything out for her. To try and make her understand. "I still love you."

She gives me a small smile.

"I'm not gonna stop loving you, and I'm not gonna find anyone else, I swear it. But I need space."

"Why?" She frowns. "If you love me like you say you do, then why do you need to be away from me?"

"Because I'm…I just do. Please. Can I please have some space?"

She shakes her head at me. "No. You didn't give me a reason." She says, moving her hands up a little and squeezing my thighs.

I bite my lip. My duey's gonna start pounding any second now. I can feel it.

And I start to panic a little.

"Jade, please." I try begging. She likes that.

"No." She squeezes me a little tighter. She's still looking me straight in the eyes.

I don't know how much longer I can hold her gaze.

"Give me a reason, Vega. Give me something."

I can't. So I let my eyes drop to my lap.

"Come here." She whispers softly.

Go where? I think. But my body knows what to do. I wrap my arms around her neck and she holds me tight.

God, she smells so good.

She rubs my back, and that feels so good. Everything she does, everything about her, is just so good.

And before I can stop myself, I'm leaning down and kissing her.

She kisses me back, the way she always kisses me. Like she wants me.

I want her too. My pounding duey's testament to that.

I wonder if she'll do it. I wonder just how far her acting will allow her to go with me. I wonder where she'll draw the line.

There's only one way to find out.

I start to unfasten my jeans, pulling on my button and zipper. I think it's that sound, the sound of my zipper, that grabs Jade's attention.

She pulls back. "Baby, what are you doing?"

"I need you." I whisper.

"Break's over?" she asks.

She sounds so hopeful.

I shake my head. I still want a break. But my body wants to splunk. It should be no big deal, right? I'm a slut anyway.

Jade sighs and buttons my pants back up for me.

"Jade?" I frown.

"No." she kisses me softly. I pull back from her.

"Why not?" I ask.

"I can't."

"You don't want me?"

"Of course I want you." She lies.

"So take me." I put my hand on my button, ready to unfasten it again.

She grabs my hand.

"No, baby. Not like this."

I don't know if she means not in the bathroom, or not while we're on break. And I don't care either. I want her. Even if she doesn't want me.

"If you loved me like you said you do, you'd splunk me." I challenge.

"That's not true."

I raise an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to finish.

"I still….If I loved you, I'd do everything in my power to build up your self-worth after tearing what little you had down. Then I wouldn't simply splunk you, I'd cherish you. I'd make you feel how much I love you."

I shake my head. "I don't have any self-worth. You're right. I'm a slut, so just splunk me already."

"You're not a slut."

"Yes I am. Everybody says so. You say so; and I want to splunk a girl who hates me, so I say so too!

"Baby"-

"Fine! If you won't splunk me, I'll find someone who will."

Her eyes widen, her jaw drops.

I jump off the sink counter and walk off; she doesn't even call me back to her.

I walk straight into someone, and fall flat on my butt. Ryder, I realize when he helps me up. I'm always walking into that guy.

He smiles at me. I smile back. An evil thought coming to my mind. Jade would absolutely hate it if I splunked him. She really hates him. More than she hated Danny.

"Hey Tori." His smile widens a little.

"Hey Ryder." I answer, glancing back at the bathroom. Jade's still in there. I wonder why she hasn't come out yet.

"So, you wanna come to my place, or should I come to yours." He says.

I turn around and frown at him. Well that's pretty straight forward of him. Can people pick up on slutty vibes or something?

"I'm sorry," he shakes his head. "I didn't even ask you if you had plans. I just figured the sooner we start on this the better we'll be by rehearsals."

"Rehearsals?" I frown.

"Yeah, they start this Friday."

"What?"

"Tori," he tilts his head a little and gives me a slight frown. "Did you check the call back sheet posted in the Black Box Theatre?"

Call back sheet! Crap! I forgot I auditioned for the end of the school year play. We're doing "The Blue Lagoon," which is so weird as it's like a two people cast, but I think we added a few things and characters to kind of give more people a chance to be a part of it.

I rush to the black box theatre and check the sheet. Sinjin's still doing his Queries for Couples rehearsals, but nobody really pays much attention to me.

Turns out I got the lead…opposite to Ryder.

"So, when's a good time to go over our lines?" Ryder asks me, coming up behind me.

I think about it for a second. Going to Ryder's house would definitely make Jade mad, but my dad's a cop. So I have a lot of "Safety first" tips drilled into my head.

"You can come to my place," I answer cheerfully. I give him the address and he tells me he won't need it because he's gonna follow me home.

I nearly tell him that maybe today isn't the best day because no one's gonna be home, but I keep my mouth shut.

I don't wanna be home alone anyway.

Ryder meets me at my locker after school, then he walks me out to the cars. I saw Jade on my way out. She was so angry when she saw me with Ryder.

Good.

On my way home, I call my father and let him know what's going on. He tells me to be careful and alert.

I tell him I will.

When I get home, I notice Ryder doesn't give me space. While I was unlocking the door, he was standing really close behind me. And while inside, he seems to keep that very close proximity to me. But he talks about the play nonstop, to kinda keep me focused on the task at hand, I guess.

I have to keep from rolling my eyes when he suggests we practice the scene where Emmeline and Richard first discover their sexuality. Well, those aren't the words he uses. He says: "I think we should start here, that way we get this part out of the way and not let it build up to nerve-wrecking proportions."

Like I'm supposed to believe Ryder Daniels is nervous about kissing me.

I'm a slut. I'm not stupid.

"Yeah, it's probably not the best day to practice that part. I'm sick and I don't want you to catch anything." I lie.

"You're sick?"

"Yep. I got it from Jade."

"I thought you two were on a break."

"We are."

He gives me a disbelieving look, but otherwise doesn't argue anymore about it.

We start running safer, more innocent, lines. It's not so bad. He gives me tips. I give him ideas, and we just kinda try to find the chemistry to pull our characters off believingly.

I get a call from my dad about every ten minutes. I swear, we've only been working for about two hours and my dad's called at least 14 times. Literally.

My phone's ringing again, number fifteen. Ryder gives me a look, and I just shrug and say, "My dad's a cop. He worries."

That kinda shakes Ryder up a bit.

I smile. But then I frown a little when I see it's Cat on my caller ID.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey, Tori."

"Hi, Cat."

"Um, it's raining at my house, so can I come to yours?"

I look outside my window. Well whaddyo know. It is raining outside. I hadn't noticed. I nearly tell Cat it's raining at my house too, but I don't. It might not be such a bad idea to have company. Well, extra company.

"Come on over, Cat."

When she arrives, she's soaking wet.

"It's raining at your house too." She deadpans.

I pretend to just realize it, but I feel so bad. I didn't know she was gonna walk it! I thought her brother was gonna drop her off.

"Go upstairs and change into some of my clothes." I boss her. I don't mean to. It's just so easy to do with Cat.

"Kay, Kay!" she sings. "Hi Ryder!" she skips past my guest.

He doesn't say hi back to her. He actually tells me he has to go home now.

I shrug. It makes me no difference.

I make some hot cocoa for Cat. She's got to be freezing. Then I bring it up to her. It's kinda weird knocking on my own door, but I do it anyway.

"You dressed, Cat?" I yell through the door.

"Yes!" she calls back.

I open my door and she's bouncing on my bed. I smile and hand her the ceramic mug.

She shakes her head, refusing to take the drink. "I'm not allowed to drink anything when Ryder's around."

"Why not?' I frown.

"Jade said." She shrugs.

I roll my eyes. "Why'd Jade say?"

"I don't know."

"Well where were you when she said it."

"Um, At home. When I woke up after going to one of his parties a long time ago. It was so much fun!" her eyes light up.

"What happened at the party?"

"Ryder gave me lots of fruit punch."

"Then what happened?"

She thinks on it. "I don't remember, but when I woke up, Jade was so mad…."

I frown. "You went to sleep?"

"I guess so, I don't remember going to sleep, but I remember waking up and if you wake up that means you went to sleep first," she answers as if I'm the simple one.

And that whole story translates to Ryder roofied her drink at his party.

I feel sick.

"Cat?" I hold onto my forehead. My head's starting to hurt.

"What?"

"How'd you feel when you woke up after the party?"

She thinks about it for a second before deciding on, "Hungry."

"Were you hurt?" I persist.

"My head hurt." She shrugs.

"Anywhere else?"

"My arm. Jade said she dragged me to her car and that's where I fell asleep. She spent the night at my house. And she let me have twizzlers for breakfast!" She finishes excitedly.

I let out a breath and clutch at my heart. Sounds to me like Jade got to her just in time.

"Hey Tori," Cat jumps up suddenly. I nearly groan. She wants to play a game. I can see it in her eyes. "You wanna go to The Gorilla Club?"

I actually don't. I don't know what the heck a gorilla club is, but knowing Cat, it's probably a petting zoo for stuffed animals.

But after hearing what nearly happened to her, I don't know, I just don't feel like denying her anything she wants.

I get in my car, her following behind me and I let her give me directions to the place.

After a while, I start to notice my surroundings are well, there are less trees, and birds, and signs of life period.

Then we finally get to the place and the building, it's like a warehouse that's um…is it leaning? I tilt my head a little to the side. I really can't tell.

"Come on," Cat giggles and pulls on my arm.

I almost pull away; I don't wanna go in there. It looks…dangerous. I could get hurt…or die, or something.

As soon as we get in, huge guys with tattoos and piercings give us forms to sign.

I read over them and note that I'm basically agreeing not to sue the place if every bone in my body gets broken.

Cat signs immediately.

I wait a while, trying to figure out how to politely drag Cat back to my car.

The dudes glare at me, like they can see what I'm thinking and are determined to keep me from leaving; then I sign.

They smile, and I wish they were glaring again. Smiles are not supposed to be scarier than glares.

Cat pulls on my hand again. "I love riding the bunny," she says.

I stop short as she clambers onto a fire-spitting, bucking, bunny.

"Is she serious?" I mutter to myself. Is she freaking serious?

But she is, she's giggling as she rides that bunny and I can't believe she doesn't get hurt. You know what? Yes I can. I can believe it. Cat's mind works a little differently from everyone else's. She doesn't ever seem to grasp on to the concept of danger. She doesn't even know she was almost…that she was almost taken advantage of at Ryder's party.

Cat gets off the bunny about ten minutes later. Not because she was bucked off, but because she got bored. Honestly, I'm surprised it took that long. She doesn't really have a long attention span.

She runs up to me and grabs my hand. "Come on Tori, try this game." She squeals excitedly while pulling me over to an area that's got huge swinging balls and people trying to weave their way through them without getting hit.

I scream when the guy currently trying to get through gets hit in the shoulder and lands near my feet. But it's not just the man flying and nearly knocking me down that startled me. He landed in a puddle of blood…that's still wet.

Oh my chizzin' God. I'm so gonna die. I don't even have to play any of these "games." I'm just gonna die from the shear grossness of this place.

Then I hear Cat laughing.

I look up and holy chiz, she's weaving her way through those balls like a pro. Maybe not like a pro. There doesn't seem to be an ounce of concentration on her face. She's laughing and skipping and thoroughly enjoying herself.

And she makes it. She makes it without getting hurt in the least.

"Come on, Tori" she beckons me. I shake my head slowly, my eyes still bugging out of my sockets. There's no way I'll go up there. Not in a million years.

"Come on, Tori" Cat insists. Beckoning to me some more. There's no chizzin' way.

None.

"Come on, Tori." Someone other than Cat says. In no time, it seems like everyone in the building is chanting my name, egging me to go up on stage. Daring me.

Fine.

I walk up there, on shaky legs. The guy manning this game tells me the rules. I'm supposed to weave through these huge, heavy, forty pound, metal balls and grab a freaking ring, bring it back, and do it two more times.

Seriously?

"You ready?"

I nod my head. Then shake it. Then nod it. He gets tired of that and pushes me onto the beam. The balls start swinging, and I run…right into one. Next thing I know I'm on my back…next to some blood.

I close my eyes and feel my shoulder. That hurt. That hurt a lot, but I don't know. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. It most certainly didn't hurt as bad as Friday night when Jade…

I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't wanna think about that.

I get up. I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna play The Balls of Pain again. The rush was incredible. I forgot all about Jade. I was just thinking of me, just thinking about not getting hit by a metal ball.

I fail twice more.

I jog up and tell the dude I want another go. I expect him to try and stop me, to tell me that my shoulder is bruised, that I can barely walk a straight line, that I've had enough, but he doesn't. He lets me try again.

My heart starts racing as he counts down from three. I'm gonna get those stupid rings. And if I can't get them, if I get hit by one of the balls again, that's fine by me too. I don't feel much anyway

{~~~O~~~}

Author's note…again: Sorry about the dramatic janitor's closet scene. When I wrote it, I was listening to "Say Something," but Victoria Justice and Max's version, on repeat. Don't get me wrong, I love the original video with A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera much more. It's beautiful and much more heart wrenching, but as far as the singing, I prefer the Victoria and Max one.