"Last time on the Ridonculous Race, after make a shopping trip for spices and camelling through the deserts or Morocco our 18 teams built up quite the hearty appetite and I lost mine once I saw Owen drink the drool of a camel. Seriously, I knew these people might be disgusting but that's just wrong. Devin and Carrie of the Best Friends were the winners of the first of 26 legs of the race, in my book all of the others were losers but we could only eliminate one team and last week it was Leonard and Tammy of the LARPers. I'm not even sad about it, those wannabe wizards freaked me out. But that was then and this is now right here on… the Ridonculous Race!"
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Don appeared at the Chill Zone in Morocco from the day before to start the episode "Welcome back to the Ridonculous Race. Yesterday's Chill Zone is the starting line for today's leg of the race, teams collect their tips and depart in the order in which they arrive starting with yesterday's winners Carrie and Devin, the intriguingly platonic Best Friends."
Sure enough, Devin collected the tip "Alright this is awesome, looks like you and I are heading to Paris homie."
Carrie let out a gasp and cheered "No way!"
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"Paris France, home to the famous Mona Lisa, tiny coffees and a bunch of other things that annoy me like you wouldn't believe. Teams must travel by moped to the airport and book a flight to Paris, and once they arrive they'll have to make their way to the Eiffel Tower and locate the Don Box with their next tips."
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Carrie let out a sigh "I'm so excited, Paris is literally the most romantic place in the entire world."
Devin nodded and looked at the camera "I know what you mean, homie plus my friend Adam got to go there during Total Drama World Tour. I wish we could've been there with him but getting to host the aftermath with you was fun too."
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Gwen picked up hers and Kevin's tip from the Don Box "There's nothing Eiffel about this Parisian landmark. Eiffel Tower, Paris, let's move!" and they grabbed one of the mopeds and took off.
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Devin kept driving the moped towards the airport, with Carrie holding onto him like her life depended on it "We're almost there, you mind loosening your grip a little bit homie?" he was ignored.
"Coming in hot sucka!" Kevin and Gwen, Kevin being the more vocal of the two, sped past them on a moped of their own.
"We're still in second place!"
"Not for long!" the Ice Dancers came up next to them, posing and smiling in a very creepy fashion.
"What's with the poses?"
"It's part of being sports heroes to our fans." explained Jacques "See there's no way of telling when the cameras are going to be on us so we have to smile all the time, and when I say all the time I mean all the time. Even in our sleep too."
"Is that painful?"
"Oh like you wouldn't believe."
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By this point, the other teams were all collecting their tips and racing towards the airport, but some like the Adversity Twins and the Goths were getting hung up on minor details.
Jen and Tom were carrying a large carpet on their moped "You know if I knew that the fashion capital of the entire universe was our next stop then I might not have spent as much as I did on a hand woven Moroccan carpet. Paris!" she let out a squeal and grabbed Tom in a ridiculously strong hug, nearly breaking his spine in the process.
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Josee and Jacques were the first ones to reach the ticket guy at the airport "2 for Paree, tell me do you offer free upgrades for Olympians?"
The ticket guy was quick to check that out "Ah yes, free upgrades for all gold medal peoples yes?"
"...Economy is fine." note the angry eye twitch.
"And we just lost our lead." Jacques pointed to where the Tennis Rivals, Best Friends, Father & Son and Artists reaching the line to the ticket.
"OH YEAH!" an excited Geoff and a horrified DJ burst straight into the building and crashed into the luggage conveyor belt.
Gwen rolled her eyes "Why am I not surprised by that? Hey DJ, hey Geoff." she received two simultaneous groans.
"You know I'm pretty fond of mopeds myself." Kevin commented "You know how I tried to jump one over my pool a few years back-"
"And ended up ruining your neighbor's wedding when you crashed into his gazebo."
"Hey apologized and besides, I got free cake out of it!"
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By this point, the Stepbrothers, Fashion Bloggers and Ultimate Duo were the last stragglers that were the furthest from reaching the airport.
Jen was quick to come up with a solution to make them go faster "The carpet is slowing us down, you have to ditch it!"
"What?! But-" Tom's protests were cut short.
"Tom we're going to Paris and I will NOT lose this race, ditch the carpet already!"
"...Forgive me noble piece of decoration, you're free now fly!" he threw it away behind them, leaving it to blind Cameron and Lightning and cause them to crash as the Vegans peddled their way past.
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It wasn't long before all 17 of the teams had arrived at the airport and booked flights to Paris.
Jen and Tom found a severely beat up looking Cameron and Lightning making their way into the airport "Oh no what happened to you guys?"
Cameron let out a sigh "It was the most miraculous thing. We were hit a carpet, if not for my short stature and Lightning's durability then we may not have survived it."
Tom and Jen shared an awkward look and laughed nervously.
"...Lightning-"
"Yeah Lightning knows, just back away smart guy." Lightning grabbed Cameron and forced him to back away slowly "Just back away."
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"Now that all the teams have booked their flights to Paris, 9 of them are waiting anxiously to board the second flight which isn't scheduled to take off for another hour and a half. It's for this reason we covered it with sad face stickers all over, which is hilarious. But the Best Friends, Ultimate Duo, Artists, Reality TV Pros, Tennis Rivals, Bromigos, Geniuses and Ice Dancers are already bound for Paris on the first flight, and thanks to the power of editing they've just landed and now the race for first place has begun."
Sure enough, all 8 teams from the first flight bolted from the airport and began picking up taxis to take them to their destination "Eiffel Tower please! Go go go!"
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"Gold medal! Finally-" Josee's cheers were cut off when she and Jacques were apparently the first ones to reach the Eiffel Tower, only to find Gwen and Kevin both already standing by the Don Box "Oh come on!" and yet they bolted out of the taxi.
Gwen picked up her tip from the Don Box "Looks like this one is another botch or watch."
Sure enough, Don was standing nearby with a number of sketchbooks and some local French art guy "In this botch or watch whoever didn't eat the stew in Morocco must draw a caricature of their partner, when this local french artist standing approves of their drawing they'll receive their next tip."
"Alright I'm up, let's do it." Kevin snatched one of the note pads and turned to Gwen as he began his sketch.
"Alright we're here, let's get to it." Devin and Carrie arrived on the scene and he picked up one of the tips "Botch or watch, you've gotta sketch me. Not too much detail though, we don't wanna fall behind."
"Right." Carrie grabbed a sketch pad just as the Ultimate Duo, Reality TV Pros, Geniuses and Bromigos arrived on the scene, and Cameron, Noah, Ellody and DJ started to get to work on their own caricatures.
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"This just in, our second flight has landed and the last 9 teams are making their way for the Eiffel Tower while the 7 teams already present are literally straining to finish the first challenge, most notably being Geoff of the Bromigos.'
"Done and done." DJ handed his drawing to the artist and in turn received a quick thumbs up.
Geoff observed his drawing and grinned "Man you drew me awesome!"
"I draw it like I see it now come on, let's move!" and both DJ and Geoff took off.
Owen observed this and turned back to Noah "You know I think the way the two of them support each other is beautiful, you know I think we should hug too."
"No." was all Noah said without looking up from his sketchbook.
"Come on please? What about just a high five-"
"Less talking, more facing forward!"
DJ took the tip from the artist and read it out loud "Go down down down and find the cheese so round where your next tip will be found. What does that mean?"
"Hold that thought bro." Geoff pointed to where a rat was climbing down into the sewer "I say we follow that rat!" and he took off, with DJ right behind him.
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"The tip was referring to the Catacombs where the ancient Persians had buried their victims of the plague, each team has to use their noses to navigate the maze of tunnels and find the correct exit and their next travel tip hidden amongst a good number of wheels of roquefort cheese."
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By this point, Tom and Jen had run into a problem "So we get a flat tire just as we're entering luxury boutique heaven during a midnight madness event? You can't be serious, it must be fate as if the universe itself wants us to go shopping!"
"Forget it." Jen cut him off sharply "We're already in last place, it's night like we have the time to stop, drop and shop. Keep in mind that if we come in last then we're gonna be going home and I will NOT let that happen. Besides, the longer we stay on the show the more we'll be able to promote our blog Now Trending with Tom and Jen."
"Are you saying that to me or to the camera?"
"Both."
"...Of course it is going to take at least a few minutes to change that tire."
"You're right. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I think so."
"We'll have to go on foot." she got out of the cab and took off running.
"...That's not what I was thinking!"
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Kitty kept working on her caricature "So Emma are you seeing anybody new at university?"
"Actually yeah I am." Emma didn't bother looking up from her book "His name is international and comparative antitrust law curriculum."
"...I'm thinking of getting a pixie cut." she looked up at the camera "Emma has always been the serious one but ever since her boyfriend Jake broke up with her a few years ago she's been super-"
"Fine, I've been super fine. And besides I don't even need a boyfriend, what I need is a law degree and I need my kid sister to focus on the game."
"And a boyfriend."
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By this point severa more teams were arriving and starting their sketches whereas teams who had already been working on theirs, such as the Best Friends and Artists, were finishing with theirs and receiving their tips.
Noah showed his sketch to the artist and they both started snickering "I know right?"
"Hey what's so funny?" asked Owen "Come on, I wanna see the picture too!"
"Nothing just come on, let's go."
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One team, however, was running very very far behind the others.
Gerry and Pete finally woke up with a start "What happened, are we there yet?"
"You old men never told me where to go." the taxi driver pointed out.
"Hey we might be older, but that doesn't mean we're old." Pete protested.
Gerry nodded "Yeah that's right, we've got the same energy as all of the other teams, from about 5 am to 4 pm."
"After that the two of us start to get a little bit groggy."
"Groggy? I haven't seen the moon since 2003.
"Oh really? Well I've got a moon for you, it's right beneath my pants!" they both started laughing.
"Hey take us to the Eiffel Tower! Andele, andele!"
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Emma was still trying to lecture Kitty on how to do the caricature "It's going to need at least 4 exaggerations in order for it to qualify as a caricature."
Kity let out a scoff "Oh please, I have way more than that."
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By this point, the Adversity Twins and Father & Son were finishing up their sketches and receiving their tips just as the Fashion Bloggers, Rockers, Vegans and Tennis Rivals arrived to start the first challenge.
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Kevin stopped Gwen down in the catacombs and started sniffing "Okay I think I've almost got it."
"Okay just what the hell are you doing?" asked Gwen.
"I've trained my nose to be able to recognize and withstand any scent, why do you think I wasn't affected by Owen's ass blasts up until now?"
"...Oh. Impressive."
"Thank you. Anyway it's this way." he led her down one of the paths.
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"As the Parisian catacombs extend a semi warm welcome to some of the teams, a good portion of them are still drawing the first challenge to a conclusion. See what I did there? You know, drawing? I'll shut up now."
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Owen and Noah were now searching the catacombs for the wheels of cheese "Here cheese, here cheesy cheese!"
"You know if we ever had any kind of a lead then we've no doubt lost it by now." Noah was quick to notice something "Oh crap I've seen that skull before, don't tell me we've been going in circles!"
"So is my stomach, hold that thought!" and he rushed off "Let me know if you see any signs for a restroom?"
"...Oh joy." Noah looked up at the camera "Owen hasn't… you know, gone since before he ate that crazy stew in Morocco. He and I both knew this moment would come, we just didn't know when it would come."
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By this point, Geoff and DJ had run into a problem "Oh crap man, that's the third dead end we hit."
"Don't let it get you worked up or anything man." DJ told him "We've just gotta keep looking until we get the right one."
"Yeah I guess."
"Good, now let's go!"
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By this point the Vegans and Tennis Rivals had finished the first challenge, with the Tennis Rivals planning to follow the Vegans to the cheese, then pass them and win the whole thing.
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Jay and Mickey were startled by two unsettling shadows, revealed to be Crimson and Ennui instead of vampires or something "You scared us! I mean, it's a little bit scary down here with all the skulls and the dark and all."
"Really?" asked Ennui "I've never felt so happy in my life. This place could be an amusement park or a camp for kids."
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Kevin sniffed the air "I smell roquefort, cave aged to what I would say is 3 or so years, I can hear running water, that way!" he led Gwen outside to where a number of rolls of cheese "Yeah now that's what I'm talking about!"
"Oh yeah, first place here we come!" Gwen caught him in a high five, only to look back and see the Ice Dancers emerge "Sorry guys but it looks like you'll have to settle for silver."
Josee responded to this by kicking several wheels of cheese into the river "I hate silver!"
"And I just hate being called a sidekick." Jacques read the standing tip nearby "Take your cheese and sail away to where the Mona Lisa is on display."
"That means the Louvre, let's go!"
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"That's right, they're talking about the Louvre, home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching. It's also the location of the Chill Zone for this part of the race but be warned, the last team to meet me here on the Carpet of Completion may be cut from the race entirely. But before that comes into play the race for first place is about to kick into high gear."
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Jacques set the cheese afloat and got into a position "Come Josee, to the Chill Zone!"
"You mean to the gold!" Josee leapt onto his hands and got into a pose "So long suckers, you smell worse than this cheese float!"
Kevin found Gwen shooting him a skeptical glare "Hey I put deodorant on today, I swear it's the cheese! And besides, at least unlike them we have our oars!"
"...What?"
Jacques let out a groan "Oh god dammit!"
"Jacques it was your job to get the oars!"
"Au revoir!"
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Pete covered his nose as he and Gerry followed the Vegans through the Catacombs "Oh god that reeks."
Gerry nodded "Yeah I know, if this is what french cheese smells like then I'm officially lactose intolerant."
"Yeah well I'm officially you intolerant." they both burst out laughing until an even worse odor filled the air.
"I think it's coming through there." Laurie and Miles opened the door to reveal a horrifying sight.
It was Owen on the toilet, causing them all to run away screaming in terror "Man can that Moroccan stew really rip through a guy." he flushed the toilet, causing a mime on the surface above to pass out.
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Noah let out a frustrated sigh "And that was just a 6.2 on the stink scale of the Owen bomb."
Owen was taken aback by this "You mean there's a scale for that stuff?"
"Oh yeah sure. Sushi farts are a 1, onion soup is a 5, spicy burrito farts go all the way to 12 and those things can peel the varnish off of a locker."
"It's true."
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Devin was now floating on a cheese raft and caught Carrie in his arms as she jumped down onto the raft "Milady."
"Oh…" she got down on her feet and giggled.
"Come on homie, top 3 twice in a row!" they both started paddling with the oars, only for him to notice something "You can't be serious, you just cannot be serious."
As it turns out, it was Jacques and Josee kicking their cheese float down the river "Just because we forgot the oars doesn't mean that we've lost our drive! We've competed in situations far more dire than this, one time I got from a squirrel that Josee sicked on me but that didn't stop us. I just wore a mask of a saint bernard so that all of the foam coming out of my mouth made sense. You see in competitions like this it's all about adapting to your weaknesses and making them your strengths!"
"Less yapping, more coming in first!" Josee pushed them ahead of the Best Friends, leaving them neck and neck with the Artists.
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"Now most of the teams have reached the water and the race for first place is about to come to an end, but for the teams still in the catacombs the race for not last is about to begin."
By this point Noah and Owen had reached the piles of cheese wheels "There's the tip and still plenty of cheese wheels, we're still in this thing. Alright let's see here, I'll go ahead and grab the oars while you take the wheel and- Oh come on!"
As it turns out, Owen was eating one of the cheese wheels already "What? Cheese is supposed to be good for you."
"Yeah but coming in last because your partner is a human trash compactor isn't, stop eating and start rowing!"
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"There's the Louvre, I can see it from here!" Josee and Jacques leapt off of the raft and started posing and waving "Thank you, we love you! Merci!"
"Au revoir suckers! Come on Gwen, feel the burn!" Kevin and Gwen grabbed their cheese wheel and took off running, with the Ice Dancers hot on their heels.
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Soon enough, the Louvre was in sight for both teams.
Don was quick to address them once they arrived "Gwen and Kevin nicely done, you're in first place. That means the Ice Dancers have to settle for silver."
"Alright, go team Gwen! And you too Kevin, nice job." Gwen caught Kevin in a high five.
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Jacques cringed as he listened to Josee throw a tantrum "The top three twice in a row, not enough for her standards but we have to come in first at some point. Besides not even she has the energy to throw tantrums every time we don't win."
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"You know coming in first is kind of surprising." Gwen admitted "I mean I figured Kevin had a few skills under his belt but I honestly underestimated him.
Kevin shot her a fake hurt look "You would dare to doubt the great Kevin Bacon?"
"That's not your last name."
"Yeah well at least I'm not putting off telling the one I'm in love with how I feel."
"Will you give that a rest already? It's seriously getting on my last nerves, I'll tell Cody after I win and we get home okay? Will that shut you up?"
"No and neither will this, I never mentioned anything about Cody." that shut her up "Well I'm gonna go eat our cheese wheel, later lover goth." and he walked off.
"...Son of a-"
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More and more teams were closing in on the Chill Zone, but Noah was having problems with one certain Owen eating their cheese wheel "Dude will you give it a rest, we're supposed to be riding this thing down the river."
"Sorry I'll stop." he ate another "Last one. Okay last one for sure."
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"Time to put this cheese into overdrive, Sha-Lightning style!" Lightning ended up dropping his oar, causing it to float away past Noah and Owen, the latter now being used as the raft in place of the cheese.
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Don started to count off the teams as they arrived at the Chill Zone "Best Friends you've in third place."
The Bromigos.
"Fourth place!"
Father & Son.
"Fifth place."
The stepbrothers.
"Sixth place."
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By this point the Tennis Rivals and the Vegans were finally starting to race their wheels of cheese down the river.
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Don continued counting off the teams "And here come some more of the teams. The Fashion Bloggers take 7th, the Ultimate Duo are in 8th, the Geniuses are in 9th followed by the Sisters and 10th and if it isn't Noah and his arc." he held out a hand to stop them "I'm afraid I'll have to give the two of you a 20 minute penalty."
"What?! Why?" asked Owen.
"Because for the challenge you guys were supposed to sail your cheese down the river."
"But it's inside me, I am cheese!"
"That you are big guy, now step aside and hope you guys aren't the last to place."
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"With one of the teams waiting for their penalty to end, the last 4 teams are battling it out towards the Carpet of Completion."
"The thought of coming in last made us realize that we had to step up our game, it even got us super charged up." explained Laurie.
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Gerry and Pete were pretty much jaw dropped when they saw the Vegans rocket pass them "How the hell is that possible? We're the athletes here, those two don't eat anything but bird seed and dust."
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Don continued to count off the teams as they arrived "Mother & Daughter take 11th place, the Adversity Twins take 12th, the Goths are in 13th." he looked over at Owen "Looks like somebody's got the cheese sweats- Oh here they come. The Vegans take 14th place and the Rockers are in 15th."
Owen let out a sad sigh "I'm gonna feel so bad if my love of cheese ends up causing us to get sent home, and what's worse is that I could really go for some cheese right now!" he broke down crying "I have no self control, I'm like a cheese loving dog! Or that tiger that Chris picked up while you guys were in China."
As if to add insult to injury, Noah swatted him on the nose with a newspaper "Bad partner! Bad! Bad!"
Owen started whimpering like a scared dog, until he noticed something "Oh crap, here come the Tennis Rivals!"
Sure enough, Gerry and Pete were struggling their way towards the Louvre while carrying their cheese wheel "Come on, come on…" they kept on struggling, until a buzzer sounded throughout the area.
Don made the call "Reality TV Pros, your penalty has expired!" this prompted both teams to make a mad dash for the Carpet of Completion, landing on it at the exact same time on top of each other.
Gerry looked around and reached a conclusion "It's a tie, we all get to stay!"
"Not quite, I'm afraid you've been cut from the race."
"What? Why?" asked Pete.
"Because Gerry's foot wasn't completely on the carpet, it was just out."
"What?!" Gerry rounded on him "Do you need glasses fool? That foot was in the line!"
"I do not need glasses and your foot was out."
"It was in!"
"It was out."
"It was in!"
"It was out."
"It was IN!"
"That's match, you're out."
"...Fine."
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Pete let out a sigh as he and Gerry sailed away on their cheese wheel "That was a complete disaster."
"At least we didn't go home first." Gerry pointed out.
"Yeah that's true, now we've got a shot at nabbing some new sponsors."
"If anyone out there needs a pitchman for arthritis cream or those bathtubs with the doors so you don't have to step over to get in then you can call my agent."
"Who's your agent?"
"It's been god knows how long, I can't remember!" they both laughed as they sailed out of sight.
A/N:
As I mentioned before, Gwen and Kevin will have the rivalry with the Ice Dancers in place of the Police Cadets. I figured that since Gwen had a rivalry with Heather back in Total Drama Island she would be the best candidate.
I'm gonna try and have Gwen and/ or Kevin mention Cody at least once every chapter or so. At least every chapter about the race that is.
Rankings:
Artists: 1st
Ice Dancers: 2nd
Best Friends: 3rd
Bromigos: 4th
Father & Son: 5th
Stepbrothers: 6th
Fashion Bloggers: 7th
Ultimate Duo: 8th
Geniuses: 9th
Sisters: 10th
Mother & Daughter: 11th
Adversity Twins: 12th
Goths: 13th
Vegans: 14th
Rockers: 15th
Reality TV Pros: 16th
Elimination:
Tennis Rivals: 17th
LARPers: 18th