Like Cats and Dogs

by disnickyX

Tori and Jade don't get along. They're always fighting, even over the smallest of things. But then Tori's ex shows up at Hollywood Arts; and he's dating a girl named Melissa there. Tori tells him that she's dating someone new too. He invites her on a double date and now she's got a problem. She needs a date. Rating may change if I can get the courage to write one of those scenes

24. Vega Meets Tori: Chapter 24

Author's Note: Hey guys! Thank you for the awesome feedback! To the newcomers, welcome! To the ones who have been around for a while, I'm sorry I didn't answer your reviews individually like I usually do. And I hope you don't think I'm being a snob. I'm just really swamped right now. I'm writing an original and the research for it is quite time consuming. I'll try to be better about it this time. But I will answer you guys' frequently asked questions and concerns as a whole in this author's note, if you don't mind.

One. Tori is getting annoying to you guys. I expect it. You're probably reading this because it's categorized as a Jori story and right now, she's the "Jori" hinderer. Jade wants them together and Tori's keeping them apart. So I don't mind you guys airing your frustrations with her; but maybe it would help you if you try to remember she doesn't know what Jade's thinking. If I wrote this story solely from Tori's point of view, she probably wouldn't aggravate you so much. Also, try to remember that even though it's taken me two years so far to write this story, only four months have passed. Plus, they've only been on break for a little over a week. It is realistic to have doubts about someone you've only known for four months.

Two. The OOC issue. I know people want to read about Tori and Jade and not just some random off-based characters with their names. But at the same time, you cannot expect the same Tori and Jade from canon when reading about a romantically involved Jori. Canon Jori are not a romantic pair. They're frenemies. They've played a couple for Sikowitz's plays and some improv work, but they were never a real couple. I took the liberty of putting them together because that's what I wanted to see and I knew I would never see it in the show. I made them OOC the second I did that. I also added OCs. OCs whose actions and circumstances shape and change the canon characters. So yeah, my characters are OOC. It doesn't offend me for you to say it. But honestly, I don't think Tori being out of character is the problem. I think she's not doing what you want her to do. And there is a difference. There are times my characters do things I don't want them to do either. But I let them do it anyway. It's how I keep them like real people. You'll never find a real person who does everything you want them to do the way you want them to.

Three. I am not waiting for a certain amount of reviews to update. I got a couple PMs accusing me of waiting for a certain amount of reviews in order to update. I will admit that reviews help. Especially if I'm busy and haven't written in a couple of days, then my phone goes off and I see that I've gotten a review. It's like a reminder of the fact that I need to work on the story because you guys are waiting on it; but I would NEVER intentionally withhold a chapter from you guys until I get a certain amount of reviews. I withhold chapters because I'm not done and/or satisfied with them. That's it. Those are the only reasons.

And last, if I ever plan on quitting this story, I WILL let you know. I promise! I get a lot of messages that say things along the lines of, "If you're not gonna finish the story, can you at least update a message to let us know?" Guys, no news is good news. Lol. If I don't update a chapter letting you guys know that I've quit the story, it means I haven't quit the story;)

{~~~~JADE~~~~}

"Look what I brought over."

The sound of Vega's voice in my house, let alone in my bedroom, should have given me severe whiplash; like the kind that leaves me paralyzed from the neck down. Seriously. The speed I used to lift my head up from my homework and turn my attention toward the door was three different kinds of dangerous. Yet, I'm fine. There wasn't even the tiniest of cracks in my neck to be heard.

Probably because I'm dreaming. I know I am. Vega's standing at the threshold of my bedroom, twirling a pair of handcuffs around her index finger.

First off, Vega can't bring her 'cuffs over. I have them. They're still in my dresser drawer; where they've been for months. I doubt she even realizes I took them.

Second, her smile. It's huge and real. Not small and sad.

Third, there's no Tori in my ear telling me not to go for it. I mean, splunking my girlfriend while she's fucked up in the head would be pretty fucked up; even for me.

So, yeah; definitely a dream.

Damn, I must really need to get laid.

Dream Vega doesn't wait for me to get up from my desk. She doesn't seem to need any indication whatsoever that I'm down for whatever event she has planned that includes stainless steel handcuffs. She simply turns around and shuts my door before locking it.

I start to protest because Joy doesn't let us lock doors in this house, but then Dream Vega smiles at me and says, "Joy gave us permission this time." And I remember, I'm dreaming. Joy would never give us permission to lock the door; especially so we can splunk.

Dream Vega starts to pout at what seems to be lack of interest from me. I mean, I haven't moved from my seat. I haven't even turned my whole body around to face her. I'm just staring at her, and not in the most lustful manner.

Yes, I have a Vega in my house, ready to do some kinky stuff and I should be down for it, dream or no dream; but the last time I let a Dream Vega tie me up, I ended up watching her and Ryder splunk. So pardon me if I don't want to relive the experience. I don't give a fuck if it was just a nightmare.

"Aw…" Dream Vega pouts some more.

I bite my lip. The way that pretty little bottom lip of hers protrudes a little… and the fact that it's all wet and shiny, never mind how I can see it from where I'm sitting….. I shift a little in my seat, underwear already starting to get wet. God I need to get laid. Preferably in the real world, but here would do right now. That's how desperate I am.

"Only if I get to tie you up." I command. Yeah, I'm totally giving in; totally gonna splunk a dream version of my girlfriend before I can actually do it to her.

That's just so fucking sad.

Dream Vega snorts. "Like you'd have it any other way."

Oh…. I think I'm gonna like this Dream Vega.

I jump up out of my seat. I know I look eager as hell but I don't care. I've been dreaming about splunking Vega for so long now. I seriously need this.

Dream Vega laughs, but it's not at me. She's just laughing because she's happy.

She runs up to me, meeting me half way and jumps into my arms. I grunt, expecting the weight of a teenaged girl, but Dream Vega's lighter than Amber. And that kid weighs a fraction of what my knee must weigh.

Quickly, I push the thought out of my mind. The thought of splunking any version of Vega while thinking about my little sister is so wrong and disturbing.

I turn around quickly and dump Dream Vega on my bed. It doesn't hurt her one bit. She bounces a couple of times, and she laughs. She laughs like my Vega used to.

God, I miss that so much.

I quickly handcuff Dream Vega to my bed. And when I say quickly, I mean I don't even know how I was able to do it so fast. But mission's accomplished. She's not going anywhere!

She giggles, like she knows what I'm doing. "I'm not going anywhere, Jade." She says. Then she spreads her legs, inviting me in.

I accept, without the slightest hesitation. I lean down and kiss her, feeling guilty at the thought that comes to mind. She tastes good. Better than anything I've ever had. Even better than Vega Coffee. And I know I'm supposed to prefer Real Vega. I know that, but Dream Vega-

"Come on, Jade. Take my clothes off." Dream Vega giggles.

How could I not want this more than a girl who's all depressed and fucked up because of me? So, I do as Dream Vega's asked. I rip the girl's clothes off.

She looks a lot like my Vega. She's only missing one thing.

A bruise on her left arm.

And I feel instant relief.

This Vega is happy, easy, uncomplicated. I haven't hurt her. So she hasn't been hurting herself.

I start to feel a little guilty. Not this overbearing feeling, but like this little twinge against my heart.

"Jade…." Dream Vega whines, squirming a little restlessly to remind me that I left her hanging.

I smile and kiss her.

She kisses me back, giving me little playful nips here and there.

"I love you." I tell her. It just slips out.

She smiles back at me, not frowns like Real Vega.

She accepts that I love her. I let out a huge sigh of relief, smiling all the while. And then I laugh, just because it feels good to be able to say it and not have her cut me off because she doesn't believe me. It feels good to say the whole three words and not have her doubt me. It feels good to say it, and have her smile at me.

I kiss her soundly. Twice. "I love you," I say again. Just because I can. Here, in this dream, I can say it.

Her smile gets bigger…but she doesn't say it back.

I lean down and kiss her. She still tastes good. But, it feels different. Possibly because I feel different. Possibly because I find it odd that she hasn't said it back yet. My Vega says it all the time. Even in her fucked-upness she says it. Why would Dream Vega not say it?

"I love you." I say again. A little more forcefully, that way she knows I expect to hear it back.

Dream Vega doesn't say anything. She smiles at me again. It's kinda creepy actually.

Suddenly, there's a pounding at the door.

I ignore it, and Dream Vega follows my lead. Real Vega wouldn't. She'd get up and open the door. Dream Vega doesn't seem inclined to go anywhere. She's just waiting on me to see what I'm gonna do next.

Then my door's being opened.

"Dude!" I cover Dream Vega's naked body up, and whirl around to face whoever is about to get murdered for opening my door.

I mean, I swear Dream Vega locked it, so what the fuck?

It's Redhead. God, I hate that girl.

Redhead walks right up to us. "I'm sorry Icky but I just can't keep my mouth shut any longer." She says.

I freeze.

I know what's coming. I've been dreading it since it happened.

"I saw Jade kissing Beck." Redhead says.

Fuck.

I look down, prepared to see "the look" on my girlfriend's face and ready to explain what really happened, but she's glaring up at me. Then she slaps me. Pretty damn hard before rolling me over and onto the floor.

I land with the loudest of thuds.

It takes me a minute to realize that she shouldn't have been able to do that as she was cuffed, but this is a dream. Well, more like a nightmare now.

She gets up out of the bed; all naked and beautiful, and she starts packing her stuff. She goes through my closet, my drawers, my computer desk and she takes her stuff. All of her stuff. I mean, I'm looking around and my room is so…empty now. Like I have nothing of my own. Like everything in my room was hers and now that she's taken it, I have nothing left.

I wake up.

Finally.

I sit up with a gasp. I think I even call for Vega. I'm not sure. I just know that when I open my eyes I see Vega, Real Vega.

She hasn't left me. Well, she kinda has, considering this break, but she hasn't left me the way Dream Vega has.

I grab onto her and hold her tight.

She squirms a little because of how tight I'm holding her, but I don't let go. I won't. I can't. I'm too freaked out. Too panicked. I try my best to breathe regularly as I wait for my heartbeat to slow down.

It takes a while, but once I've calmed down I take pity on Vega and loosen my grip.

"Jade?" I hear her call me, but I don't answer. She's probably tired and ready to finger her belly. Usually it kind of bothers me that she doesn't want to do it in front of me, but I don't know. All the hints of the Real Vega are a relief after Dream Vega.

After a minute, I feel the lightest of touches on my hair. I try my best to keep from making any faces at all, wanting her to believe I'm asleep. I know she'll stop if she knows I'm awake, and I don't want her to. But it gets hard to keep my face in check after a while. Especially when those feather light touches extend to my arms and hands. Dude, you have no idea how good that shit feels.

"I love you, Jade," Vega whispers.

I have to fight so hard at the smile that wants to appear on my face. Dream Vega wouldn't say it to me. She wouldn't tell me she loves me, but this Vega, real Vega, she says it. It feels good to hear. Even better than being able to say it to Dream Vega without reprimand.

Then Real Vega fucks up the moment by apologizing for messing up my plans.

Ugh. That shit again. But I continue to pretend to be asleep, and I find solace in the fact that she still loves me. That's all that matters…for now.

I even smile when she starts doing the belly button thing. Another reminder that this is My Vega and not Dream Vega.

And when she stops that; when she stops diddlying her belly button, and I'm sure she's asleep, I tell her I love her. She smiles. Not the creepy way Dream Vega did, but it's a peaceful smile.

I hope I gave her good dreams.

{~~~O~~~}

All too soon, my alarm is going off.

I remember exactly where I am, illegally camping out at Wanko's. I loved the look on my girlfriend's face when I told her that that's what we would be doing, yesterday.

But now that we're here, and we've got all our stuff ready to buy, I kinda wish I had left Vega home. I don't want her to see what I got. Last night it was no problem. I hid her before getting my stuff, but now…with her awake and us carpooling….

Damn. I really didn't think this through.

As I look around, trying to figure out how I'm gonna do this, I realize that I don't see Vega anywhere anyway.

I send her a quick text, asking her where she is.

Naturally she's on her way the bathroom. And says she'll meet me at my car.

Good.

I quickly gather all my chiz up and head for the register; hoping I can at least get the stuff covered before she gets out. Which means I have to buy a sheet so I can roll the wrapping paper up in it.

The lady at the counter barely looks at me as she rings my chiz up, which is fine by me as I barely look at her as well. I'm too busy searching out Vega, trying to make sure she doesn't see what I got. I mean, it won't be a complete disaster. It's just the wrapping paper I'm gonna use for her birthday presents, but I kinda don't want her to know I've remembered her birthday at all. I want it to be a double surprise.

Yeah, cheesy. But I'm looking for brownie points.

My phone buzzes, letting me know I've got a text. I check it quickly, thinking it's Vega, or Joy, wondering where I am.

It's Redhead, telling me she'll be right back.

Like I give a fuck about where she goes. Just because she's moving in today doesn't mean we'll suddenly start being accountable to each other.

I look up from my phone, finally spotting Vega. I have the urge to jump in front of her stuff, but she doesn't really see me. She's on her way outside… with Redhead.

And before she can look my way, I have the wrapping paper on the floor and out of sight.

Close one.

But then I start to wonder, where the hell is she going with Redhead?

And my heart clenches at the sight of them together because the last time I saw them two together like that was in my dream. Redhead had just told Vega about Beck kissing me and then Dream Vega left me.

Real Vega gives me a wave, and it's one that doesn't look like Redhead just told her about me and Beck kissing, so I relax a little. But not much. Redhead could very well be on her way to telling her. Or maybe Redhead and Vega got an assignment from Sikowitz. Maybe they're on their way to do one of those stupid scavenger hunts.

But then…they usually don't carpool 'cause it's a competition, I think.

And plus, Redhead said she'll be back and I doubt Sikowitz knows we're at Wanko's, 40 minutes from home. Therefore there'd be no point in her coming back because if he had an assignment for them it would take nearly two hours for them to go and come back. Who's gonna wait here for two hours?

I move over to the window so I can spy on them a little, totally leaving my purchases behind. Vega and Redhead are just outside. I feel relief immediately at the sight of them. I can't hear what they're saying, but Redhead is clearly yelling at my girlfriend.

I know, I know, anybody who yells at Vega should be murdered on the spot, but if she's yelling at her, there's no way she's telling her Beck kissed me, right?

I go back to getting my purchase wrapped up so I can take it outside. Some random guy asks me if I need help, and it's pretty damn obvious it's not just my stuff he wants to "help" me with, so I decline immediately.

He was hot though. And just for a second, I have a quick fantasy of Vega coming in and seeing us flirting. Of Vega getting insanely jealous and ending break.

But I snap out of it real quick. That's something Dream Vega would do. Real Vega would think she's right about us needing a break because I'm clearly into other people. And she'd let us fall apart.

I'd probably never get her back.

As I trudge to my car, wrapping paper wrapped up by a sheet I don't need, I think about it. I won't lie. I think about calling it quits. Vega's being so difficult, and angsty, and sad, and this is really hard. Trying to hold onto her, and get her back to normal, it's really fucking hard. And I find myself being so out of character, so willing to do anything to let her know I've put her happiness before my own, and it's exhausting. Even though I know this is all my fault, it's still so fucking exhausting.

It would be easier to start over with someone else. I know it would. We'd be good. I'd be good. I'd treat her right and I'd make sure I don't make the same mistakes as I did with Vega.

Her huh? You're a full blown lesbian now?

Shut up, Tori.

You know what would REALLY be easy? If you tell her deal's off, dum-dum.

Shut up, Tori.

I concentrate on loading my car so I won't have to think about Tori's insistence on me telling Vega that the deal's off, or the slip up I made about my next girlfriend. I don't really consider myself gay. I still think guys are hot and stuff, but I-

My phone buzzes, cutting into my thoughts. The texting kind of buzz and not the calling kind.

I sigh a little in annoyance. It's gotta be Joy this time. She flies out to Denver tomorrow afternoon and wants to make sure Redhead is all settled before she leaves. She only told me a thousand times last night.

I pull out my phone and frown. This text isn't from Joy. It's from Vega:

My Vega: Jade. We need a real break. We need real space. Please don't call me baby. Or hug me. Or kiss me. Or touch me in a way that makes us look like girlfriends. And you can date Beck or whoever else you want. Just forget about the pinky promise thing. It's no big deal.

What the fuck?

I read the text again, just to make sure, although it's totally unnecessary. I know what I read. I just can't believe it.

I call her back immediately.

No answer.

I look around, ready to just shake her and that stupid bitch, Redhead. Because I'm sure Redhead is the reason my girlfriend sent that text to me, but I don't see either of them. In fact, I don't see Redhead's car at all. Then it hits me. They're gone.

"Fuck!" I scream. Tori doesn't reprimand me for my language. She hasn't in a while, probably because I got bigger problems, but for some reason I still expect to hear her yell at me. And when she doesn't, I yell, "Fuck!" again before hopping in my car and driving off.

My phone rings not even a full minute later. I answer it without looking at the screen.

"Vega, what the fuck"-

"Whoa, Jade, sweetheart…."

Fuck, it's just Joy.

"What?" I snap.

"What time do you plan on getting home"-

"When I fucking feel like it!"

"Jade…."
I rub at my head. I hadn't meant to snap at her. And I correct it before Tori can get on my case about it. "Mom," I say, my voice light and anger free. "I'm really sorry, I'll be there as soon as I kill my girlfriend and her girlfriend."

"Well, that's not gonna help you get her back now is it?" Joy quips.

I bite my tongue. Hard. Joy knows me. She knows me well. So she knows I'm not in the mood for this shit.

"Jade," She sighs. "It's gonna get worse before it gets better. Just think of this as your worst time." She says, getting all motherly on me. Offering advice and wisdom that I don't want to hear. Because I don't want things between me and Vega to get worse. They can't get any worse as far as I'm concerned. And not because they can't literally get any worse because they actually can. It's just, I'm so tired of all the bad we're having right now. I don't think I can handle worse. I don't want to handle worse. I won't handle worse. I'll break up with Vega before we hit worse.

No you won't.

Fuck off, Tori!

"Jade? You still there?"

Again, I bite my tongue and give a small grunt. She'd know if I wasn't here. So, I ignore Joy, and her advice, and try my best to avoid running a red light. I can't really afford a ticket right now.

"Okay, well, I was just calling to remind you that I'd really like to have Melissa settled in before I leave, so if you can come home as soon as possible and help me pack…"

"Whatever," I mutter.

"Thank you."

I hang up.

It's so dangerous to text and drive. I know that. I knew it before Vega started telling me, but I do it now.

I send Vega text after text, asking her what the fuck is going on, what happened; just…I need to know.

She doesn't answer any of them.

Fuck!

My phone rings again. This time I look at the screen and put the phone down immediately. It's Ellen. What the fuck is she calling me for? It's been Grayson for the last couple of months, but this is the first time she's called.

Honestly, I'd sooner answer the phone for Grayson.

And I try my hardest not to fantasize that the reason she's calling me is because she's sick and wants to meet me one last time before she dies and goes to hell, but I'm just in that kind of a mood I guess.

I'm halfway to Vega's house when I realize she might not be there when I get there. She might get smart and go somewhere else and hang out there for a while, so I send her a text, letting her know that I'll be at her house waiting for her. Even if it means I'll be there for three days.

I mean, she has to go home some time. Papa Vega wouldn't have it any other way.

As soon as I pull up, I feel relief. Vega's standing outside, talking to Redhead, but she's here.

Then she spots me and runs.

Dammit.

Half of me wants to go after Redhead and tear her to shreds for telling Vega about me and Beck's kiss. I'm sure that's why my girlfriend wants a "real" break now, but I'll deal with Redhead later. Vega's more important right now.

I get out of my car and run after her. God I hate running. It usually results in sweat, but I do it anyway.

"Vega!" I yell. She's paused at her front door, and I'm assuming she's unlocking it. God, I hope she's too nervous to fit the key in. No, I don't want my girlfriend to be afraid of me, but I don't want her to get in the house, slam the door shut, and lock it in my face.

She yanks the door open, and doesn't even close it before running upstairs.

I smile. I literally smile, even though I'm so fucking wazzed off.

"Vega, get your ass back here!" I scream.

She runs even faster.

Damn it!

Then she throws herself in her room and shuts the door. I hear it lock and it pisses me off, but I'm still relieved that I'm in the house.

I twist the knob, yeah, it's locked. Then I start pounding on the door and screaming for my girlfriend to open up.

"What do you want?!" She yells back.

Seriously? She knows what I fucking want. "Open the door!" I yell. "We need to talk!"

"We can talk through the door." She yells back.

What the fuck? "Vega!"

She doesn't answer.

Fuck! I whip around and lean against the door. The knob digs into my lower back but it doesn't hurt much, so I don't move.

This shit is giving me a headache. I don't need this. I don't have to deal with this shit. I don't! I could leave. I could give her the break she wants. I can break up with her. We could just be over. I could go back to being big bad Jade West. Not this girl who keeps chasing after this whining crybaby of a disast-

Suddenly, I hear a noise, like a yelp, but it's cut off with a slight smacking sound.

She's hurt herself somehow and tried to hide it by covering her mouth so I wouldn't hear her cry out. I'm sure of it.

"Vega?" I call, pressing my ear against the door. "Vega, what are you doing in there?"

I thought you wanted to walk away? Tori taunts nastily. So just walk away. What do you care what she's doing in there?

I ignore her.

"Ow." I hear Vega cry. It hurts my chest to hear it. Then I hear her clear her throat before sobbing out a quick, "nothing."

"You sound like you're crying." I jiggle the knob, needing to get in. panicking a little. What if she's hurting herself on purpose in there?

"I'm not." She answers. For a moment, I think she's telling me that she's not hurting herself in there. That she's read my mind or I've unknowingly spoken out loud, but then I realize she's telling me that she's not crying.

But she is.

"Baby, Open the door." I jiggle the doorknob a little more. I don't know what for. I know it's locked.

She pauses for a bit, and I don't know what's going on in there. Maybe she's thinking it over. Maybe she's hurting herself more. I don't know; but what I do know is that my freaking out is starting to escalate at this point.

"Please don't call me that, Jade." She finally speaks.

I feel relief at hearing her voice, even if her tone was almost too soft for me to hear, But I also feel annoyance at the fact that she's referring to that stupid text she sent me, in which she wanted me to cease all actions that make us look like girlfriends, and that includes calling her baby and hugging her and all the good shit.

"Vega…" I say, drawing her name out so she knows just how I feel about this stupidness.

She doesn't answer.

"You can't do this." I continue. "You can't be fine with me one minute and then all of a sudden not want anything to do with me without telling me what happened. What did I do wrong?" I hate how un-Jade-like and unsure I sound. Another reason I should just give in. Just call it quits, but I really want her to keep talking to me. You know, just to make sure she hasn't gone unconscious in there.

Sure you-

Don't even start, Tori.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you're perfect, Jade. I love you." Vega says.

"I love"- I start out, but she interrupts me.

"But I don't believe you when you say it!" she yells. "So we just need to take a real break until we can figure things out."

That doesn't make any fucking sense. And I call her out on it. "How the hell am I supposed to prove I love you over a break in which I'm not supposed to treat you the way I feel about you?"

"Breaks are not for proving how much you love someone. They're for seeing what else is out there. Exploring all your options and then coming back if you couldn't find anything better." She snaps back.

If you couldn't find anything better? What the fuck?

"Baby, you've got five seconds to open this door or I'll call Papa Vega up and tell him about your arm." I threaten. And it's not just a threat. I will do it. I'm that pissed off.

There's no movement on the other side, so I start counting. "One…"

Still nothing.

"Two…"

Still nothing.

"Three…"

Still nothing. I pull my phone out of my back pocket.

"Four…"

She opens the door.

She's holding her arm, the left one as she stands there and stares at me.

I put my phone back in my pocket. Then I walk in and shut the door behind me.

When I turn back to face her, she's still holding her arm.

I hold my hand out. "Give me your arm," I command.

She does it, and I pull up the sleeve. You have no idea how relieved I am to see that stupid bruise and only that bruise. There aren't any cuts, and the bruise is starting to fade. Maybe she doesn't hurt herself on purpose. Maybe she just sucks at those games in The Gorilla Club. I mean, she is Vega, the klutziest girl I know.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I bumped it on my dresser." She says.

I wasn't asking her what happened to make her yelp, though I'm glad to have the answer. I was asking what happened to us. Why does she want this new break?

"Accidentally." She adds, thinking I'm waiting on her to elaborate. She even rolls her eyes a little. .

I look back down at her arm. And I can't believe this, but I'm too nervous to look Vega in the eyes as I ask, "What did she say to you, baby?" I brace myself to hear about how she knows about me and Beck, and I'm mentally coming up with ways to get out of the dog house. I'll tell her that he kissed me, not the other way around. And if she asks me why I didn't tell her, I'll say I didn't want her to be upset. Ugh. God that sounds weak. Maybe I'll tell her-

"Who?" Vega asks, reminding me that I asked her a question.

"Redhead." I answer.

"When?"

I try to keep from getting frustrated, and assuming she's just playing dumb here, because she's got to know what I'm talking about. But then again, as I think about it, it is a good question. Maybe Redhead told Vega about the kiss this morning, but honestly, it probably happened last night when they were in the bathroom. Vega came out acting all weird, and Redhead kept giving her these looks, like she was disappointed, and angry, with her when Vega decided to come to bed with me. If Redhead was pissed that Vega still decided to be with me after learning I'd been kissing my ex, it would explain why she was yelling at Vega this morning.

And I know Vega doesn't seem to be acting like she's known about the kiss since last night. She doesn't seem to be angry or all that shocked, but she's not Dream Vega either. She's real. And Real Vega believes I still want Beck. It's why she asked me not to date him while we're on a break. And if Vega knows about the kiss, it would explain why she wants a real break now, and also why she put in her text that I could date Beck if I want. So yeah, if Redhead told, she told last night.

"In the bathroom, last night." I finally explain after inhaling to calm my nerves. "You were just fine and then you went to the bathroom with Redhead, and when you came back out you were acting weird."

Vega sighs. And I don't take it as a good sign.

"I don't want to be the bitch." She says.

What?

My eyes bug out of their sockets. "She called you a bitch?"

I'm gonna kill Redhead, absolutely murder her.

Vega shakes her head. "No, not like that. It's just…"

"It's just what?" I prompt.

"I look like a bitch. The way I'm always trying to get you to splunk me, but I won't end break. It makes me look like a bitch."

It's true. I agree. It looks bitchy and it's fucking annoying as hell.

"Lissa pointed that out to me, and I agree with her." She continues. "We either need to be on a real break, or we need to end break, and since I'm not ready to end break…" she shrugs her shoulders, like it's no big deal.

"That's it?" I ask. I think I'm gonna have a heart attack from being overly excited and relieved, but I try not to let it show. "That's all this is? You feel like you're leading me on and it's making you look bad?" I clarify. More for myself, because I just can't believe it. Vega doesn't know that Beck kissed me. Vega wants a real break because she thinks she looks like a bitch because she's stringing me along.

"Isn't that what it looks like?" She questions. That face. It's so innocent and lost. "Don't you think everyone thinks"-

I grab her face in my hands. And though I was thinking the same exact things not even a minute ago, I'm just so happy right now. "I don't give a fuck what everyone thinks." I say. And I find myself meaning every word. I don't. I don't care if they think I'm the weakest, most whipped girl on the planet. I just want Vega. "This isn't their relationship." I continue. "It's mine and yours. Okay?"

She nods her head. "Okay."

"We good?" I ask, just to make sure we've covered everything.

She nods her head again.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, and I believe it's Joy, probably wondering where I am again, and I'm not bothered at all this time.

I tell my girlfriend I'll see her at school tomorrow before kissing her goodbye and leaving.

I check my phone on my way to the car. It's actually Other Vega telling me that I left her at Wanko's.

Like I care.

{~~~O~~~}

On my way home, I receive another call from Joy. She tells me Ellen called wanting to talk to me. I tell her okay and got off the phone real quick.

My main focus, Redhead.

One, I still wanna kill her for that stunt she pulled last night while we were playing truth or dare. Two; I'm gonna threaten the hell out of her, because if she ever tells Vega that Beck kissed me and it costs me my girlfriend, she's dead. And three; she called my girlfriend a bitch. I'll probably end up killing her anyway.

I mean, yes, I was thinking the same thing. Maybe not like that, but yeah, I thought my girlfriend was exhausting me and I was ready to call it quits, but getting that text….having her tell me that she didn't want anything to do with me and that I could date whoever I want…It made me realize that I'm not ready to call it quits. I'm frustrated and I wish this was easier, but I'm not truly ready to give her up just yet.

When I finally get home, the first person I see after getting out of my car is Thing One. I ask her where Redhead is, but she ignores me completely. Like, her ears don't even perk up.

She's not a dog, Jade.

Metaphorically, Tori. Damn, mind your own fucking business!

"Riley." I say, just to get the little brat's attention.

Again, she ignores me.

I swear, this shit is getting real old.

I almost push her down, but Joy's standing in the doorway and I don't think she'd understand. In fact I don't even understand; because the reason I want to push Riley is not to hurt her. Not at all. I just want her to yell at me, scream at me, or push me back. I'd even take her kicking the shit out of me over this constant silence.

God, what the hell has happened to me?

You miss your little sister, dum-dum.

Shut up, Tori.

You really do, you know it. You miss your sisters.

Obviously, Tori's not gonna shut up. So, I ignore her and approach Joy. I'm not really approaching her though. I'm trying to get in the house but she's blocking the way.

"Jade." She says.

"What?" I scowl. I can't help it. She's all jumpy and I hate it when she's jumpy. It makes me jumpy, and I'm not exactly in the mood to be jumpy. I just wanna scream at Redhead and start wrapping up Vega's presents. It's gonna take me forever because she's got a hundred of them.

"Ellen called. She wants you to call her back."

"You told me that!" I snap at her before brushing passed her.

"Well, she's called again since then. So, when are you going to call her?" she continues without faltering in the least, despite my snappage.

"I'm not!" I start to get agitated, but I don't turn around. I continue my way into the house and toward the stairs. Toward Redhead. She's the one I really wanna yell at.

"Jade,"-

I whirl around abruptly, facing Joy… and I blow up. "STOP PUSHING IT!" I scream, clenching my hands into tight fists at my sides. I should stop here. Apologize. Claim I'm tired. Claim Vega's stressing me out. But it's not just about Vega. It's this, Ellen shit, piled onto my already existing problems. I'm so fucking wazzed off already, and just hearing that name come out of Joy's mouth agitates me. And right now, I'm at my fucking wits end with agitations! So I stand here, rooted to the spot and shaking with fury, as I continue to yell at Joy. "I don't want to talk to her! I don't want to see her! And I'm not going to change my mind! Plus," I point at her accusingly. "You like that I don't want to talk to her! You know you do, but it makes you feel better to offer me my options doesn't it?! Like you're the good stepmother who lets me know that I can always see my real mother whenever I want, right?!"

Joy inhales sharply, and I see her eyes water. Not the kind of watering that takes a minute to get the tears up to eyeballs. It's the sudden kind of watering. The kind where there's a pricking sensation against the eyes and then the tears are there, instantly. My words were too sharp and I hurt her.

I made her cry.

I wasn't trying. I swear I wasn't. I know Joy loves me. I know she sees me as her daughter with no step in front. I've never even heard her tell anyone that I'm her stepdaughter, not even in my bitchiest phase. She's always cared for me and made sure I have everything I need. But she's not just this ray of sunshine who gives me everything my heart desires. She disciplines too. She takes privileges away from me. She yells at me. She grounds me. She gives me looks when I disappoint her. And she's always telling me I'm "un-freaking-believable" when I've exasperated her. She's a real mom to me.

But then she mentions Ellen, and she tries to get me to talk to her, to have a relationship with her, and all of a sudden she's not my mom. Ellen is. And it stings because I don't want Ellen. I want Joy.

So tell her that!

This time I'm willing to accept Tori's help because I made a mess that I don't want to leave here. I have to clean this up now, before it metaphorically stains our relationship. No matter how un-Jade-like it will make me sound.

"I don't want her." I bring my voice down. I'm not just keeping from yelling, I've taken on the same pleading whine Amber uses when she's hurt herself and she wants Joy to fix her booboo. And whether or not I want to admit it, it's truly how I feel. I want Joy to fix this. I'm begging her to fix this. I want her to stop trying to get me to talk to Ellen. But more than that, I need her to stop seeing that woman as another one of my parents because she's not. I have a father, granted he's not a dad. He's just…Grayson.. And I have one mother. That's it. And it's more than enough. "Please stop trying to make me…Please just be my only mom." I finish. Honestly, I'm not too sure I said it right. I mean, I didn't exactly explain it with my words the way I thought it in my head and it came out a little…short. "Okay?" I add on, hoping to get confirmation that she understood what I was trying to say anyway.

Joy nods her head quickly, and briskly walks away from me; but I saw it. I saw a tear run down her cheek. And as I continue to watch her walk away, I see her bring her hands up, both of them, and wipe her face.

She's crying. Really crying. Using more than one tear to do it.

Dammit. I've fucked up…again.

I hurry up the stairs, ready to take all of my anger out on that stupid redheaded gank. She's the reason I blew up at Joy. I was pissed off at Redhead, then Joy interfered and I let her have it instead of the gank.

I barge into Mercy's room… and stop. It's so different.

No more yellow walls. No more crib.

There're boxes and a daybed and dressers.

Redheads on the floor, unpacking her shit.

I can hear music coming from her earbuds and I bend down and snatch them out of her ears.

"What?" she says coolly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" I yell.

"I'm not in the mood." She sighs, moving to put her earbuds back in.

My eyes widen, and a voice in my head screams "Kill!" And no, it wasn't Tori. She would never let me kill Redhead.

I snatch at Redhead's earbuds again. "You're not in the mood?!" I scream.

"Yeah, I'm not in the mood." She stands to her feet. Challenging me. "Look, I don't know what you're wazzed off about and I don't care. I never did anything to you"-

"Never did anything to me?" I interrupt. She flinches a little, but not because I look ready to kill her. She flinches 'cause I accidentally got a little spit on her cheek. Like I care. "So you don't recall daring me to kiss my ex last night? Jesus! You're supposed to be Vega's friend! How could you want her to see that!?"

"I don't." She gives me this look, like she thinks I'm the stupid one. Guess who's ready to smack that look off her face. "And now I don't have to worry about it because it'll never happen again." She continues. "I'm sure he got the point."

"I"- I stop there, faltering. "Wait. He?"

She gives me that look again, like she thinks I'm stupid. "Yeah, he. Beck. The guy that kissed you in the hallway where my friend, who's so in love with you that she self-harms by getting herself beat up by a forty pound ball because she thinks you don't love her back, could've been walking by! God, if Tori had seen that, I don't know what she'd be doing to herself to "cope." And now that he, Beck, realizes you'd rather endure a lot of physical pain than kiss him, even for a game, I'm sure he won't do that again." She explains animatedly, using hand gestures and exaggerated facial expressions…like I'm a fucking pre-terd.

If I have to be honest with myself, and Tori since there's no getting away from her, I'd have to admit that was a smart move on Redhead's part. Yeah, she could've found a less painful way for me to prove that to Beck, but the girl doesn't like me. Why wouldn't she make me suffer? I'd do the same to her. Worse even.

I fold my hands over my chest. "I'm not saying thank you." I say stubbornly.

Redhead snatches her earbuds from me. "I didn't do it for you. Tori's my friend, not you. We done?"

I get the urge to snatch the earbuds back from her and wrap them around her neck-

Jade…

Or I can use her hair-

"Jade!"

This time it's Joy who interrupts my little fantasy of Redhead's demise.

"What?" I yell back.

"Get the door!"

"Make one of the brats get it!" I yell, totally forgetting that I just made the woman cry and I should be glad she's talking to me…even if she is actually yelling at me.

Plus, we don't get a lot of visitors. The brats probably don't know they should ask who it is before answering the door for a stranger.

"Never mind, I got it!" I change my mind.

I run downstairs and open the door…without asking who it is first.

Damn.

It's Irene, Joy's mom, and Bradley, Joy's baby brother.

I think he just turned 13 or 14. I don't know even though I was at his birthday party.

"Joy!" I call. "It's for you."

I scold myself after making that announcement. I called her Joy, not mom. Usually the mom thing is pretty sporadic. I call her Joy when I'm not thinking about it because it's habit. And Mom comes to me when I'm feeling…things.

But just now, I purposely called her Joy because of Irene standing right there. I know she wouldn't have liked to hear me call her daughter, mom, and I hate that I let her have that power over me.

"Mom!" Joy exclaims when she comes down the stairs. "What are you doing here?" she asks, glancing down at her watch.

"Bradley was missing his sister and his nieces." Irene answers, while her eyes do a not so subtle scan of the house. It's obvious she's hoping to catch a glimpse of Riley and Amber. I gotta hand it to her. She's not willing to give up on her family. I mean, if Riley had smacked my hands, and Amber had screamed and hollered because she didn't want to be near me, it'd be a while before I showed my face to them again. Then again, the brats are giving me the silent treatment, and I still hope, every day, that they'll start talking to me again. And soon.

Bradley nods his head, agreeing with his mother about wanting to see his family. Not in the way that suggests he was coerced into doing this, but shyly because he really means it. The boy is the youngest out of all Irene's children. Joy's got twenty something years on him. In fact, I still remember what he looked like as a toddler because Joy would sometimes get him and he'd spend weekends with us before the twins were even born.

Abruptly, I get an image of him and her. It's a memory, but it's more like a picture because I don't remember the details. I don't remember what happened before or after; nobody's even really moving; I just remember the moment. I'm young, seven or eight. I'm getting an award in my school cafeteria. He's two or three, and he's sitting in Joy's lap, watching me. Joy's taking pictures. I'm smiling. Not just at the camera. I'm smiling at him. That's why he's watching me. I'm making faces, making him laugh so he won't start misbehaving and trying to run all over the cafeteria like some of the other brats getting chased by their parents.

I blink a little, the memory, image, is gone as soon as it comes to me. And I feel…sad. When Joy was showing me shoeboxes full of pictures of me when I was younger, I was confused. They didn't match my memory. I was too happy in those pictures. I didn't remember being happy like that. But now, I know I was. Those pictures aren't lying. I've just forgotten.

How the hell did I forget?

"Hello, Bubby," Joy's voice cuts into my thoughts, bringing me back to the present

"Hi." He greets back as he walks up to her. She gives him a hug, which is something he actually really wants, and over his head she tells Irene that this is not a good time.

"You said that last time." Irene pouts. Then she gives me a look, like this is all my fault.

"Well, it's true this time too, Mom. You can't just come over unannounced."

"I wouldn't have to if you would just answer my phone calls." Irene snaps, but it's gentle and there's a whine to it.

"I'm busy, Mom." Joy checks her watch again. "I have a meeting tonight at eight o'clock, I'm moving a friend of Jade's into Mercy's old bedroom, I have a breakfast meeting tomorrow, and then from there I have to fly out to Denver"-

"Denver?" Irene gasps. "You're flying out to Denver tomorrow?"

Joy sighs. "Yes."

"For how long?" Irene asks.

"A week." Joy answers impatiently.

"Well, where will the girls be?"

"Here, with Jade."

Irene gasps…again.

I roll my eyes.

Bradley rolls his too, but in a much more subtle way. And I find myself wondering, since we seem to be on the same side here, if he remembers me. Not me as in the me I've been to him for the last couple of years, but does he remember that we used to get along when he was a kid?

"Their sister is more than capable." Joy snaps; her impatience showing. Again, I'm snapped back to the present.

God, I love it when she's using that tone to defend me and not punish me with.

"Yes, but for a week?" Irene continues. "I'd be more than happy to take the girls"-

Joy inhales, "Oh my God!"-

"Joy Grace-Anne Frankfurt!" Irene gasps…a-fucking-gain. "You know better than to take the Lord's name in"-

Joy grabs at her head, truly stressed out. I have no doubt she's gonna need to hit the spa up before her meeting tonight. "Can we please just talk about this later, Mom!" she yells.

"When?"

"I don't know, sometime next week. When I get back."

"But then there would be no point in talking about it." Irene explains to Joy… as if she doesn't already know that.

Bradley snorts into his shirt, making it sound like a sneeze. "Bless you." Me and Joy say.

Irene scowls, probably because she's just now getting it, and I take that as my cue to leave before I start laughing and make the old broad mad.

No one will ever understand how sarcasm from Joy toward her mother makes me feel.

"Mom, I'm going upstairs." I announce.

"Okay, baby," Joy answers me absently.

Irene looks at me. And I realize I just called Joy Mom in front of her. She looks uncomfortable and slightly disgusted. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. A little. I hurry upstairs and let the two continue arguing about whether or not I'm responsible enough to watch my little sisters for a week.

{~~~O~~~}

"Dinner's ready guys!"

My stomach rumbles. I've been up here, doing homework and wrapping Vega's presents for the better part of three hours and I'm still not done.

I go downstairs and I know what's for dinner before I even get in the kitchen.

Pizza.

I love that smell.

I'm slightly shocked to see Bradley still here. But whatever.

"Jade," Joy says, and I give her my attention immediately. I can tell she wants me to do something for her, and I'm willing to do anything she asks of me. "Can you go get Melissa?"

"No."

Except that, I guess. The answer just comes out before I can even think about it

"Jade…"

"I don't like her." I stand my ground. I see Bradley snickering with Riley and it pisses me off. It also makes me feel like I can't give in.

"Jade…." Joy crosses her arms over her chest.

"Come on, Mom. I really hate that girl." I soften, begging her not to make me.

I see the corner of Joy's mouth twitch a little. It's a good sign. Then she turns her attention toward Thing Two. "Amber, baby, will you please go get Jade's friend."

I don't even dare tell her that Redhead's not my friend. I let her have that, as long as it gets me out of going up there.

Amber nods her head and gets up immediately to do her mother's bidding.

She comes back down a few seconds later.

"She said she's not hungry."

Joy frowns. "That girl hasn't eaten all day. Will you ask her if she's sure?"

Again, Amber runs upstairs; and she comes back down quickly. "She said she's sure."

Joy frowns some more.

I frown a little too.

This is bringing back a memory. Not a happy one. A recent one. One that involves my bitchy phase. Joy sent Amber up to my room to get me to eat breakfast. I remember my response. I remember hurting Amber, twisting her ear like some barbarian all because I was mad at Joy and Vega. Then I didn't even want to apologize, I gave her some halfhearted-half-assed sorry and she accepted it.

I feel guilty and ashamed, as if it happened yesterday.

"Ask her if he wants me to put a plate aside?" I hear Joy say.

"Okay." Amber answers.

"I'll do it." I say, stopping her in her tracks.

Joy looks at me, one eye brow raised. And before she can ask me if I'm sure, I go upstairs.

I knock on Mercy's old bedroom door, then open it.

Redhead snaps a book closed really quickly before sliding it under her bed.

I don't ask her what it was 'cause I already know. It was a photo album. A really thick one.

She misses her family, already.

Suddenly, and I mean out of no-fucking-where, I remember doing that once. When Joy sent me to New York to be with Grayson and Ellen. I remember sitting in my new room, on the floor, looking at a shoebox full of pictures. There were pictures of me and Joy, being happy, being silly, being family. And there were pictures of me with the twins. Being happy, being silly, being family. And I remember tearing those pictures up and flushing them down the toilet. One by one. I remember hating Joy, really hating her because she got rid of me. Just me. I knew she was sad because Mercy died, but she only sent me away. She didn't send Riley and Amber with me. She could've because we have the same dad, but she didn't because they were hers, and I wasn't.

At least, that's what I thought at the time. I didn't know it was her shrink's idea.

I didn't know how bad it hurt her to do it.

And even though Redhead's circumstances aren't the same, the fact of the matter is she is away from home, away from her family.

I clear my throat. "We can put some aside for you in case you get hungry later." I offer. Not with a snarl or malicious intent. I offer the way Joy wants me to, with concern and care.

God, Tori's turning me into a sap.

Wasn't me this time.

I know it wasn't Tori, it's me. All me. It seems all these trips down memory lane are exhausting me and turning me into a sentimental duey. But it feels better to blame this chiz on Tori.

Redhead shakes her head, denying my offer, and keeps unpacking.

I shut the door behind me.

I hear it lock.

We're not allowed to lock doors here, but whatever.

I go back downstairs. Joy looks up at me. I shake my head.

The house phone rings….Nobody ever calls the house phone, not even Joy's clients. In fact, the only reason we have a house phone is because it came with our cable and internet bundle.

"Answer that!" Joy calls as she grabs a plate and puts a slice on it.

I know she's planning on going upstairs and making sure Redhead eats it. This woman is so freaking persistent.

"The door's locked." I tell her.

Joy sighs.

Wait, that's it? She's not gonna march up there and tell Redhead about the rules? I wonder if it means I can get away with locking my door now. "So, does that mean"-

"Don't even think about it." Joy cuts me off irritably.

"That's not fair!" I argue, not even acknowledging just how creepy it is that she can read my thoughts sometimes. Mothers do that kind of thing.

"Joy?" We hear Bradley speak up beside us, but we're kinda having a showdown, so she doesn't look at him as she answers.

"Yes, Bradley."

"Um…Mom wants to know if you can drop me off home tonight."

Joy turns around slowly, the wazzed off kind of slowly. She snatches the phone out of Bradley's hand. "Gimme that!"

I'm ready to comfort Bradley. Not hug him or anything, but at least tell him not to take it personal that his sister just snatched the phone out of his hand, but then I hear, "Mom, what the fuck?" from Joy…to Irene…yeah, Bradley will be okay. I don't want to miss a word of this!

I stand next to Joy, trying my best to be inconspicuous, and close enough so that I can hear both sides of the conversation, but it doesn't work. Joy starts pacing, and because there's no way to inconspicuously pace beside her, I'm just gonna have to be satisfied with hearing only her side of the conversation.

"I don't give a fuck, You did this on purpose!" Joy yells. God, the f-bomb again. Irene must be shittin' massive bricks right about now. "...I told you I have a meeting at eight, it's seven thirty!...Yes I know Bradley has to go to school tomorrow…What do you mean just make Jade do it!? There's no way in hell…."

Huh? Me? Why would Irene suggest I….And it finally clicks for me. Why Joy's so angry. Irene waited until the last minute to announce that she couldn't come pick Bradley up, and now Joy has to go to a meeting and the only one who can bring Bradley home is me. And since Joy will be gone, I'll have to bring the twins because I can't leave them at home. Irene and Bill will have access to the twins without Joy around. God, her mother's a smart woman.

I'm smart too though.

"Mom," I say as I tug on the hem of Joy's shirt like a little brat would.

"What?" she snaps.

I take no offense. "I'll take him."

"No." she answers quickly. But it's more than just quickly, she looked panicked when I offered. Does she think I'm going to hurt her brother?

"Mom." I say again, this time more firmly. But it's only to cover the bit of hurt I feel. Before, this wouldn't have bothered me. Before, I wouldn't have even offered him a ride home; but now, it stings that she doesn't trust me with him.

"What?" she snaps again, just as firmly.

I get a little wazzed. I snatch the phone from her and hang up on Irene. "I'll take him." I repeat.

"No. I'll just cancel the meeting, come on, Bubby." She starts walking toward the door without even making sure he's following behind her….and he's not following behind her.

Which is fine by me because I'd rather not have a boy, who is kinda my uncle, watch me have an argument with my mom. "Seriously?" I yell at her, hands on my hip and everything.

"Seriously, Jade. Go finish your dinner."

I fucking hate being dismissed.

"What's the fucking problem? I'm not going to hurt him!"

"Honestly Jade, the thought never crossed my mind. Bradley!" she yells.

"I'm coming!" he yells back.

"And watch your language," she tells me as an afterthought.

"Then what's the problem, Mom?" I make my voice go light, doing that pleading thing. I know she can't resist it.

Joy sighs, and she finally looks me in the eyes. I've only just realized she's been avoiding that. Not looking at me, because she has been looking in my direction, but I've just noticed that she hasn't looked me in the eyes since that phone call with her mother.

"My mother wants to see the girls, without me." She says. "She'll probably try to bully you into leaving them there."

I nod my head because I already figured that part out.

"So I won't take them." I say. Easy fix.

"Jade," Joy sighs again. "I leave for my meeting in a few minutes. I can't leave them home alone."

"Redhead's here." I rebuttal immediately, 'cause I already thought this part out. Irene's gonna pitch a fit when she realizes the twins aren't in the car, and I can't wait to see it.

"She is, Jade," Joy acknowledges. "But not everyone is like...Not everyone is willing to do that kind of stuff."

She was going to say that not everyone is like Vega. Not everyone forms an instant relationship with eight-year-old brats the way Vega did. But I push that thought aside.

"Redhead owes me a favor." I shrug. And I'm about to go get her to cash in that favor, but think better of it. I don't trust Joy not to sneak out while I'm upstairs. So, I call Redhead instead. She answers on the sixth ring, which is much faster than what I anticipated. I fully expected to have to call more than once.

"What?" She answers.

"You're on brat-sitting duty for a few hours, starting now." I say. No preamble.

"No."

"You owe me." I retort.

"Fine."

I blink a little. That was even easier than I though it would be.

Joy makes a motion with her hands, wanting the phone. She gets on and asks Redhead if she's sure about a half dozen times before hanging up.

"Okay," Joy bites her lip, like she's nervous. "I guess you can go."

"You guess?" I roll my eyes.

Joy opens her mouth, likes she's about to say something, but then she snaps it shut.

Weird.

She opens the door and me and Bradley step out, but before I can really get out of the house, Joy grabs my arm. She opens her mouth again, and this time words come out. "Bradley, can you go out to the car please?"

He does as he's asked.

I turn back to look at her, expecting to hear a bunch of rules and warnings, like how I'm to drive the speed limit, and not to text when I'm actually driving. Etc. Instead, she says, "You don't have to get out and see him to the door or anything. Even if my parents aren't outside waiting for you guys, you don't have to get out of your car."

And I finally realize why she told me no originally. She's still remembering the way Bill hit me, and she's scared for me.

Yeah, I'll admit Bill hit me pretty hard that day, and he's hit me plenty of times before that; but it wasn't a regular thing. I didn't get hit every time I went over there. He didn't just beat me for no reason, or hit on me whenever he got the urge. I usually did, or said, something first; something I knew he wouldn't like. It was his way of "disciplining" me. Mind you, I was the only one he disciplined that way, but whatever. As long as I don't say, or do, anything out of the way, I'll be fine.

I know that. I've always known that. I don't know why I always felt the need to push his buttons before.

So, I laugh. Mostly from relief because I'm glad that's all Joy's worried about. "I'm not afraid of your parents, Joy." I assure her.

"This isn't funny to me, Jade." She answers softly.

I stop laughing immediately.

"Sorry." I mumble.

She pulls me to her and kisses the side of my face. Twice. "Call me when you get there, baby."

"I will." I try not to roll my eyes because I know she's just worried about me, and it does feel nice to know it, but still... I'm not some helpless little kid. Her parents are old; with grey hair, bad eyesight and bad hips probably. Alzheimer's and the nursing home are right around the corner, waiting for their asses. I'm not afraid of them. I just hate them.

I hurry out of the house before Joy can change her mind, and make sure Bradley's buckled up before starting my car. I take a quick glance at the door, mainly because I don't remember hearing it shut, and I see that Jade's still standing there, so I give her a wave. I'm not sure if she can see it as it's dark out here, but then she waves back. I expect her to go in the house now, but she doesn't.

I have a feeling she watches me until I'm completely out of sight.

It warms my heart. And it makes me feel guilty.

That woman loves me so much. I treated her bad when I came back from New York. I treated her bad for nearly five years, and she never stopped loving me. Yet, I was ready to call it quits with Vega after a little over a week of her drama….which was caused by me.

I glance over at Bradley real quick, just to get my mind off of my problems. I'm about to ask him how he's been and all that other chiz, but I notice he's got his buds in. He won't hear me, and he doesn't want to.

I shrug my shoulders, not willing to force the issue. Besides, no kid likes being asked how school is going anyway.

{~~~O~~~}

I'm about five minutes away from Irene and Bill's when my phone rings.

I actually take the time to check who it is because Grayson keeps calling me and I don't want to answer him by accident.

It's Joy.

I put my phone to my ear, which is just so dangerous, but I have a feeling Joy will freak if I don't answer.

"You said you would call when you get there." Joy scolds before I can say hello.

I scowl. "I'm not there yet." I answer through clenched teeth. Because I know yelling isn't something you're supposed to do to your mother, especially when she's just worried about you, but come on!

"Oh, well, where are you?" She demands.

"Where are you?" I counter.

"Jade, I'm serious." She says sternly, motherly.

"So am I. You better be at your meeting." I answer just as sternly, just as daughterly.

"I am."

"How can you have a meeting and talk to me at the same time?" I ask suspiciously.

"It's running a little late."

"How come I only hear you then?"

"What?"

"Are you hiding out in the bathroom or something?" I ask as I pull up to the curb at Joy's parents' house.

"I…uh…yeah." She admits reluctantly.

I roll my eyes and come to a stop. "See ya later." I say to Bradley. He nods his head at me and opens his door.

"Don't hang up on me, Jade!" Joy hisses.

Jeez.

"I was talking to Bradley, not you. We just pulled up." I tell her, just as Irene comes flying out of her house. I swear, I never knew the old broad cold move so fast.

"Ok, don't hang up yet." Joy commands.

"Fine." I say, without the eye roll I want to add.

Irene makes it to my car before Bradley can shut his door all the way, and then she's poking her head in. "Where are they?" She frowns.

This is the moment I've been waiting for. I've been wanting to see her face drop when she realizes the twins aren't in here. And it's so worth it.

She looks so lost, so disappointed, so let down. It gives me such a rush.

You're seriously that bored?

Shu up, Tori. Let me have my victories where I can get them.

"The twins, where are they?" Irene asks again, she looks toward the back of my car…as if she thinks I stuffed them in the trunk or something.

Seriously?

"I left them at home." I answer shortly. "Shut my door."

"Alone?" she asks disbelievingly.

"Yep. Shut my door."

"Jade, what's going on?" I hear Joy's voice super loud in my ear.

"Nothing." I jump a little. I totally forgot she was still on the phone. If she knew what I was doing, that I was baiting her mother this way on purpose, she'd kill me.

"Shut my door, Irene." I say more urgently, because I just know that if I don't pull off in three seconds, Joy's gonna have a complete meltdown.

"Bill!" Irene starts yelling. "Bill, get out here!"

"Fuck." I mutter.

"Jade! Did she just…Did she just call my dad!?" Joy starts to panic. I can hear it. I can feel it too. "Jade, go home. Go home now!" She urges.

Seriously, what the fuck does she think I'm trying to do?

"I'm trying but your mother's halfway in my car and she won't get out!" I snap.

Okay, I don't mean to sound panicked, 'cause I'm not scared. I'm not. It's just Joy, she's freaking out so bad, and it's agitating me.

"Just drive, Jade!"

See?

"While she's hanging on the fucking door?" I yell back, hardly biting back the sarcasm and profanity. 'Cause even though I want to do that, drive off while Irene's hanging out my door, I can't really bring myself to do it. I'm not that much of a monster.

I sit up in my seat, getting on one knee so I can push the old broad out of my car…. and lose my balance. I land on my steering wheel, well, one of my size Ds land on the steering wheel.

Hooooooonnnnnnk!

"Ow, fuck!" I whine.

"Jade?!" Joy yells. I ignore her, concentrating on keeping those pesky tears at bay.

Big baby.

Hey, that shit hurts! You try landing boob first on your steering wheel!

I don't-

I know you don't have a boob, Tori!

I seriously gotta stop talking to that bitch!

"Jade!" Joy yells again.

"I'm fine!" I yell back.

Fuck, all of this is just unnecessary. I mean, this is why Bill used to hit me so much. I could've just told Irene that her granddaughters are with a responsible friend of mine to ease her mind, but no. I just have to instigate.

Because the shit is funny.

Until I get hit by Bill.

"Jade!" The panic in Joy's voice just fries my brain. I mean, I just can't take it anymore! So, I hang up.

She's gonna kill you, dum-dum.

Yeah, no shit, Tori!

Thought you weren't gonna talk to me anymore?

Fuck you!

I scoot over quickly and push Irene a little, not hard enough to make her fall, but enough to get her out of my car. Thank God Bill's still far away. He'd absolutely murder me if he was close enough.

But he did see, and he comes running. That ancient motherfucker is quick as hell.

Fuck. I hurry up and I slam my door shut before locking it and driving off.

I'm embarrassed to say that my heart is beating 30 miles a minute. It's probably why I'm just now realizing that my phone is ringing. And I have no idea how long it's been ringing. It could only be Joy. Still, I check the screen before I answer.

"Jade!" she freaks before I can say a word. "I told you not to hang up the fucking phone! I"-

"I'm fine, Joy." I intercept calmly, hoping it will get her to calm down as well. "I'm"-

"Why'd you hang up? Did my parents take the phone? I heard a scuffle. Did you get hit?" She interrupts. "You did, didn't you?"

I roll my eyes. "No. I"-

"Don't lie to me!"

Jeez-the-fuck-us! "I'm not"-

"I knew this was a bad idea. I knew something was gonna happen." She's basically talking to herself, and I can just imagine her pacing as she freaks herself out with all the horrible thoughts she's thinking.

"Nothing happened." I try to assure her.

Not that it works.

"Jade"-

"Go to your meeting." I interrupt.

"My meeting?" She scoffs. "No, I'm coming….where are you?"

I sigh. "I'm on my way home so you might as well stay at the meeting. Are you still in the bathroom?" Yes, it's a very poor way to deflect but she's seriously spazzing for no reason.

"No, parking lot. I'm coming." She answers in short clipped sentences.

"For what? I'm fine. I'm on my way home. I'll check on the brats as soon as I get there. I'll lock all the windows and doors. An' I won' open duh dwoor for anyone unless dey do duh secwet knock, Mommy." I say the last bit using a toddler voice to patronize her with.

"It's not fucking funny, Jade!"

"That's right," I croon, Lamaze coach voice now. "Get mad. Makes you feel better, right?"

There's a pause on the other end, and I honestly expect Joy to start screaming, but then she starts laughing. It's one of those relief, tension-releasing, laughs.

"You're un-freaking believable, you know that?" She sighs.

"Yeah, yeah. Go to your meeting, slacker."

I hear her inhale and exhale, like she was nearing a panic attack and it was the only breathing technique she could remember at the last minute. I nearly ask her if she's okay, but then she says, "I love you, Jade."

God it's such a heavy "I love you." Not one of the ones you don't even really mean when you say it. You know, like when you're getting off the phone with a relative and you say a quick, "love ya, bye." No, this is an "I. love. you." The kind that makes you pause because you don't want to say it back unless you mean it.

"I love you too, Mom." I say, and I finally get to hang up. Jesus!

{~~~O~~~}

Joy got to me, obviously. Because when I get home I check on the brats for real. They're in bed, but not sleep yet. Riley glares at me, and Amber tries her best to ignore me, but she still gives me those looks. Like she wants me to fix this mess that we're in. I say goodnight to both of them and leave their room quickly because I know they won't answer back, and I don't want to hear the non-answers.

I don't know who it is that makes me check on Redhead, but I do. Her door isn't locked this time and I walk right in, hoping I don't catch her diddlying her duey or anything.

She's asleep, this early. It's barely nine. I walk up to her, wondering why I'm doing so at the same time. She doesn't move much, only to shiver. She's cold. Her blankets are on the floor, and she's in a ball, feet tucked up under her ass to keep them warm.

I pick the blanket up and dump it on top of her. Yeah, I could've tucked her in neatly, but she's still Redhead. "I still hate your guts." I tell her.

I look at her face when I say it, because I mean the words. But there are tears on her cheeks. And since I can't take back my words, I tuck her in properly. Then I hurry outta there before I do something weird, like care that Redhead's been crying.

Next stop, my room. I think I'm gonna call it a night too. Well, I strip and get into my bed, but I don't try to fall asleep. I'm waiting for Joy to come home. I know she's gonna check on me. I think I'll pretend to be asleep during. Not that I'm trying to avoid her, 'cause I really wouldn't mind talking to her a little before going to sleep, but at the same time, I just want to see what she does when she thinks I'm asleep.

I mean, I just covered up Redhead and told her I still hate her. If she was awake, I'd still tell her I hate her, but I wouldn't be caught dead tucking her in. And Vega did this thing, last night, when she thought I was asleep. She touched me. Not sexually, just…like she cared and wanted to be near me. It was a loving caress. She also whispered things she wouldn't have normally told me to my face.

I guess I wanna know what Joy has to say. I wanna know what she thinks she can't do, or say, to my face.

So, I wait up for her, and when I hear her pull up, I take a breath, and continue to feign sleep.

I hear the front door open, then shut. I hear quick footsteps come up the stairs, like she's running. And I know she's heading straight for my room. I turn over on my side, my back facing the door. It's all I have time to do before she yanks my bedroom door open and flips my lights on.

"Jade!" she calls.

I don't answer. Any other night, I would. I'd quit with the fake sleeping and I'd sit up, pulling my comforter up to my chest because I don't have any clothes on. But right now, I still hear panic in Joy's voice. And I could hear it in her footsteps when she was running up the stairs just now.

I thought she was okay. I thought she'd gotten over what happened when I dropped off Bradley. I thought I convinced her nothing happened to me. I thought I fixed this already. But it's clear I didn't. And I know it's selfish, but I don't feel like reassuring her that I'm okay. I remember having to do that when she first found out that her dad hits me sometimes. It was a mess. She was a mess, and I wasn't as close to her then as I am now, so it didn't really affect me that much. But tonight, if I let her, she'll probably turn me into a mess; and I feel very much like staying in one piece, because I have to be strong. I have to figure out a way to fix my girlfriend. I have to figure out a way to get my sisters to forgive me, and I have to figure out a way to not give a damn about Redhead being homesick. I can't become a sobbing mess.

Joy shuts my bedroom door, but I know she's still in here.

I stay still. I really hope I can pull this fake sleeping thing off. Wait, I'm an actress. A damn good one. I will pull this fake sleeping thing off.

It's getting hard though. She hasn't done or said anything yet, but I can feel her hovering over me. Is she waiting for me to realize she knows that I'm not sleeping, or something?

Then I feel her touch me, but it's not like how Vega touched me. Joy is a bit more methodical, like she's looking for something. She moves my hair back from my face, and there's a slight pause. I know her face is really close to mine. I can feel the heat from her skin. I should be able to feel her breath as well, but I suspect she's holding it.

Next, I feel her gently remove every strand of hair from the side of my neck and brush it backwards. And then there's another pause.

What. The. Fuck.

I try my best not to flinch when Joy grabs my right hand, and lifts it all the way up. I have to keep it limp. I know I do because when a person is sleep, they don't hold their limbs up. If someone were to drop it above their face, they'd just get smacked in the face by their own arm. God, I hope Joy's not testing me to see if I'm really asleep. That would mean I'll have to let my arm smack me in the face without the slightest flinch.

Joy turns my hand over a few times before I feel her hands move down, one to my wrist, and the other at my elbow. She bends my arm this way and that way…almost like she's inspecting it….Oh god! She is inspecting it. She's checking me for bruises!

Please, God, let her stop there!

She doesn't.

She lays my arm down gently in front of me and I feel my comforter being lifted in the back. My hair is lifted, once again, as Joy inspects the back of my neck. Then she lets it down and she's checking my back and sides. My ass is totally exposed.

I shift a little, not just because this is completely embarrassing, but because I know people who are really asleep don't just lay still and let a person handle them. They move, and they make noises.

So I also grunt a little.

"Shh, baby," Joy shushes me soothingly as she turns me so that I'm laying on my back. The light's too bright this way, and I know I'm gonna start turning red soon because of all the exposure. So I turn over quickly, laying on my right side and facing her, while trying my best to cover as much of my naked chest with my arm as I possibly can.

She inhales loudly, and I hear a wet sob escape her lips before she screams my name.

My eyes spring open. And then I narrow them to avoid the sudden light.

She grabs my hand. My left hand. The one Trina kept stepping on last night. Crap! She's found a bruise.

I groan and pretend I'm trying to fall back asleep. Maybe she'll have mercy on me and want to discuss this in the morning.

No such luck.

"Jade, wake up!" She shakes my shoulder roughly. "What is this?"

I "sleepily" sit up and wipe at my eyes. "What are you talking about?" I mumble with just the right amount of a "sleepy grumble."

She holds my hand up in front of me, putting the bruise two inches in front of my face. I back my head up a little so I can actually see it, and there is a decent size bruise there. I didn't even notice.

"Jade," Joy squares her shoulders. "Tell me what happened."

Okay, I got two choices here. Either I make up a story about how I got the bruise and risk Joy finding out that it's a lie later. Which would result in her losing trust in me. Or I could tell her the truth, and risk getting grounded for life because there's just no way she would approve of me illegally camping out at Wanko's Warehouse.

I shake my head. It's a really hard choice, but I know I have to go with the truth. But I'm gonna have to spin it so that I don't get grounded. I have to manipulate. I'll have to use the fact that I know she's worried because she thinks her dad did it.

"Jade, baby, you can tell me." Joy pleads at my reluctance to tell her.

Acting time.

"No I can't, you'd ground me." I scoff.

Joy shakes her head. "I won't ground you."

"Yes you would," I nod my head. "If you knew how this happened, you'd punish me some kind of way."

Joy shakes her head again. "I won't. I swear it." She's so desperate to hear what happened that I feel bad for playing her like this. But she's my mom. Most teens do this kind of stuff to their moms, right? They take them for granted, because they don't have to ever worry about their mothers revoking their love from them. And I know it's something I don't have to worry about either.

"Pinky promise." I challenge, holding my little finger up.

She blinks at me, but then holds her pinky up and links it with mine.

I take a deep breath, like I'm still afraid I'll get into trouble.

"Tell me." Joy sits up straight, bracing herself.

I exhale loudly. "Last night me, Vega, Redhead, André, Beck, Cat, Robbie and Trina, snuck into Wanko's warehouse and stayed the night. We played truth or dare and Redhead kept daring me to kiss Beck. I kept forfeiting so Trina had to stand on my hand with her ten inch needle heels."

Joy blinks at me. She totally wasn't expecting to hear that. "You spent the night"-

"You said you wouldn't ground me." I rush to remind her.

Joy shakes her head, still trying to process the fact that it really wasn't her dad who hurt me. "How…how did you get in?"

"I know a guy."

"You know a"-

"You pinky promised, Mom." I interrupt again.

"One of your friends did this to you?" She says softly, grabbing my hand in hers and tracing the bruise lightly with her fingertips. It's technically a question, but I don't think she's looking for an answer. She's still processing.

"Trina Vega is not my friend." I scowl. "She's my girlfriend's sister."

"Okay," Joy sobs. And I know it's finally hit her. Bill didn't touch me.

"So I'm not in trouble, right? You're not gonna do anything like take my car keys away; 'cause you promised." I ask, just to make sure she truly got it.

Joy shakes her head, kisses my bruise, and leaves quickly.

I let out a slow breath as the door shuts behind her. That was sooo fucking weird. That whole …inspection thing. Hasn't she ever heard of freakin' boundaries? Privacy? And what's weirder is that I didn't stop her. I could've "woken up" or something, but I think there's a small part of me that knows she wouldn't have cared if I was awake. She still would've wanted to see for herself that I was okay. Because she loves me. The least I could do is see if she's okay as well, instead of avoiding her.

You read my mind, now go do it!

First, this is my mind. And second…I really gotta stop arguing with Tori. It can't be healthy.

I get up, get dressed, and head for Joy's room. Her light's still on, but somehow I'm still able to sneak up on her. She's sitting in her bed, eyes on her phone, and when I say, "You look like shit," she jumps.

"Jade!"

"I was having a weird dream before you woke me up." I lie, moving forward; and I can't believe it, and I don't know what makes me do it, but I get in bed beside her. And I'm not just sitting at the edge so we can have a heart-to-heart before I go on my merry way. I slide in beside her, getting under the comforter as if I'm going to sleep here!

"A nightmare?" she frowns.

"I said a weird one, not a bad one!" I snap. "I'm not two years old! I'm not climbing in Mommy's bed because I'm afraid of the fucking boogey monster!" Okay, I totally meant to say that last part in my head, but Joy chuckles a little, so yeah. Making her laugh right now is definitely a good thing.

"You wanna talk about it."

"Nah," I shake my head. "Trust me, you don't wanna hear about it. Hey, did I mention you look like shit." I say again. So that I can get back on track. 'Cause that's why I came in here. To make sure she's okay. I mean, her response to what happened when I dropped off Bradley was just over the top.

"I feel like shit." She says. "Maybe I shouldn't go to Denver."

I roll my eyes. "How am I supposed to have the biggest party any Hollywood Arts student has ever seen if you're not in Denver?"

Joy smirks a little. "You can still have a party while I'm here."

"Not one with alcohol and weed." I quip.

She smirks again, but she doesn't seem too convinced that she should go.

"Seriously, we'll be fine." I assure her.

"I'll be gone for a whole week. They could come here while I'm gone." She mutters mostly to herself.

"Ugh! I'm not afraid of your parents." I repeat for the hundredth time.

"Maybe I could get Derek to stay." She ignores me.

"I don't need a babysitter! You're over-reacting!" I yell, doing a little over-reacting of my own. I can't help it. The way her brother looks at me gives me the creeps. He's always smiling…and staring. I'd rather stay with Bill. "I'm not afraid of your parents!" I insist. "Bill didn't even hit me that hard!"

"Yes he did!" Joy screams at me and I get submissive real quick. I snap my mouth shut and I look away. "He hit you hard." She sobs. "H-he doesn't hit g-girls. He never hit m-me. He b-barely hit my brothers. But the w-way he hit you….I've only seen him hit one other p-person like t-that." She scrunches up her face, and starts crying.

It makes me uncomfortable so I try to keep her talking. "Who?" I ask. I'll also admit that I'm slightly curious to know about the only other person special enough to receive that kind of treatment from Bill other than me.

"Derek."

I frown. "Why?"

"Derek used to play dolls with me." Joy admits. "I guess he sensed he was gay."

"Derek's gay?" I frown some more.

"I thought you knew that?" She frowns back at me. "Everybody knows…except my parents. But I think they're just in denial."

"How could I know that?" I retort. "He was always staring at me." I gesture towards my chest so that she could know exactly where her brother kept staring.

She blinks at me. "He…he likes the way you dress, Jade. He's made a few pieces with you specifically in mind."

I squint my eyes at her. "A few pieces of what?"

"Clothing." She says like I'm dumb and it's obvious. "He's a designer. He made you that one skirt you love so much."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. She just can't be talking about…"The black one with the buttons and zippers?" I ask.

"Yeah, where'd you think I got it?"

"From a store." I deadpan.

She goes quiet for a moment. Drops her head even. And when she finally looks back up at me, she says, "I didn't know you felt uncomfortable around him."

Oh no. I know exactly where this train is heading, and I know I need to stop it in its tracks right now. "I never said I felt uncomfortable around him. I just said, he stares. I'm hot. I expect all the guys to stare."

Joy scrunches up her face. "But he's your uncle."

I roll my eyes. She's so freaking naïve. "That doesn't mean he sees himself that way."

Abruptly she gets out of bed and walks out.

"Hey, where are you going?" I call after her, but she ignores me.

I have a quick debate with Tori. She wants me to go see if Joy's okay, and I think I should just wait here. In the end, Tori wins and I get up. I'm at the door when Joy comes back, and she's holding some of my absolute favorite clothing.

"Here," she puts them in my arms. "Read the tags."

I do.

The tags have a black number two, my name in green. Then under that is a black heart followed by a lime green comma, and then under it, it says Uncle Derek in hot pink. Basically, they say, "To Jade. Love, Uncle Derek."

He really did make these things for me. He really does think of himself as my uncle. How could I not know that? Or did I know it once and forget, like I forgot all that other stuff. God, I'm giving myself a headache.

"Fine." I concede.

"Fine what?" Joy asks.

"He can come stay." I hurry to my room so I can put my clothes up. I'm feeling a little emotional, so I take a few breaths before going back to Joy's room.

She's on the phone, and she's smiling. No doubt, her brother has agreed to come stay with us while she's gone.

I slide in bed quietly and turn over. I don't exactly know why I came back. I could've stayed in my room.

Joy ends her call and the lights are turned off soon after. I feel the bed dip as she slides in next to me and then her arms are around me and she gives me a tight squeeze. "Goodnight, sweetheart." She says.

"Goodnight, Mom." I smile.

I don't exactly know why I'm smiling though.

Yes you do.

Don't start, Tori.

{~~~O~~~}

I wake up suddenly and note that I'm alone in Joy's room. "Shit!" I swear when I see the time. I've got to get the brats ready for school. Ugh, Joy could've woken me up before she left for her breakfast meeting.

Maybe she thought you would be responsible.

Shut up, Tori.

I hop out of bed quickly and run to their room, but they're already up and doing their morning routine.

Awesome.

I get dressed, I do my hair, and I hurry downstairs, but Joy's already on the twin thing.

She's rushing them about, telling them how much time they have before they go…which is basically none.

Weird. I thought I was taking them to school.

"Don't you have that breakfast meeting with one of your clients before you catch your flight?" I ask Joy. Well, I ask the back of her head because she's running around like a maniac.

"I do." She answers absently, not even looking at me.

"Aren't you going to be late? I can take the brats." I offer.

"Nope. I got it." She answers, still absently. She doesn't even reprimand me for calling the twins brats. She still doesn't look at me either.

I stare at her, completely confused. Why's she acting so weird and twitchy?

I watch her check the twins' book bags and her suitcase to make sure she has everything. Once she's done with all of that, she finally looks at me. "Um, be good and make sure Melissa eats and stuff." She says to me.

Seriously? Um?…Stuff?….It's like she's nervous or something.

If I was leaving my eight year olds alone with you for a week, I'd be nervous too.

Shut up, Tori.

But maybe Tori's right. Maybe Joy's worried I won't be able to handle the twins.

"Don't worry; they'll still be alive when you get back." I joke lightly.

"I'm sure they will." She gives me a small smile. "Well, bye. Love you." She waves a little before almost literally running out the door.

There's a small sting I feel against my heart when she leaves. Not because she's leaving and I'll miss her, but because of the way she left. I mean, just last night she's invading my privacy, and being all overprotective mama bear with me; and now it's like she can't get away from me fast enough. She didn't try to hug or kiss me like she usually does. She didn't even give me a chance to tell her that I love her too.

So go out there and fix it before she leaves, dum-dum!

Ugh.

I hurry out to catch up with Joy before she leaves. She's already in her car, and the only reason she hasn't pulled off yet is because she's yelling at Riley about something.

I knock on her window. Pretty hard too because I'm slightly aggravated. And hurt.

She jumps in her seat and looks back at me.

I glare at her.

She rolls her window down immediately. "Jade, what's wrong?"

"You didn't even wait for me to say it back." I glare some more.

"What?" She frowns.

"You didn't hug me or anything! You'll be gone for a week and your grand goodbye is "be good and stuff", a halfhearted I love you, and you didn't even wait for me to say it back!" I yell at her, getting more wazzed off by the second.

She smiles at me, and there are tears in her eyes.

Not only am I pissed, but I'm also so fucking confused right now. So when she gets out of her car and reaches for me, I step back, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Why are you acting so weird and nervous?" I demand.

"Because I am nervous." She answers, looking me straight in the eyes.

"Why?" I bark, letting my anger do the talking for me. "I'm old enough to watch them." I gesture towards the twins in the backseat. "Girls my age even have babies of their own, you know."

Joy shakes her head. "It's not that."

I raise my eyebrows, silently inviting her to elaborate.

She sighs. "It's irrational but…"

"But?" I prompt.

She shrugs a little. "We've been getting along so well lately, I'm afraid that if I leave…when I come back…"

"You're afraid I'll be a bitch again." I answer for her, finally following her line of thinking. And she's right. That's a very irrational way of thinking.

"Something like that." She agrees with me.

I roll my eyes. I should assure her that I'll still be here when she gets back. I'll still let her hug me and stuff. I'll still call her Mom. She'll still be my mom. But, "You didn't have to agree that I was a bitch," comes out instead.

She hugs me and I let her.

"I love you, Jade."

I squeeze her back, my eyes closing because I didn't realize just how good it would feel to hear her say it; or why it hurt so much when she didn't say it like she meant it before.

"I love you too, Mom." I tell her. Then I kiss her cheek.

Joy gasps, and her face starts to go red. "Thank you," she mutters before hurrying into her car.

I don't say you're welcome because the thank you was just weird. Also, I'm a little lost for words. She was trying to hide her face, but it's too late. I saw it. She was blushing. And it hits me. I've never kissed her before. She always kisses me. But I never kissed her before. But to blush?

That woman is so freaking weird.

I shake my head and make my way back to the house.

Melissa's on her way out. I know I'm supposed to make sure she eats, but she's a big girl. She can take of herself.

I, on the other hand, am gonna be late if I don't leave now.

{~~~O~~~}

I'm just in time for school, but barely so. Which means I don't have time to look for Vega. She's either in class already or she's late…Again.

The first time it happened was pretty alarming considering her obsession with her perfect attendance, but now, it's almost normal.

But I do have time to look for her before second period.

She's not at her locker. For some reason, it makes me feel antsy. It also makes me feel like I'm some kind of stalker or something. So what if my girlfriend isn't at her locker. There are a hundred places she could be inside of this school.

If she's in school

But she better be in school.

I pull out my phone, ready to text her a quick message when I notice the whispers.

Now, it's usually very loud in these hallways; but today, not so much. I look up from my phone, and almost everyone else looks away from me. Which means they were looking at me.

What the hell?

Out of the side of my eye, I see a kid trying to quickly walk passed me. I grab it by its hair and twist so that it's facing me.

It's Sinjin.

"Ow." He squeals.

I don't let up. "Why's everyone staring at me?" I demand.

"Have you checked buzzfinger?"

"No."

"Check it," he squeals again before ripping his head out of my grasp and running away. I actually wince for him as some of his hair is still in my hand.

I check the buzzfinger site and scroll down for about a minute before I see it. The thing that's making everyone stare at me.

Vega's on a date with Alyssa Vaughn.

Instantly, I get angry. My jaw clenches and so do my fists, but it's a mask. Because I'm mostly hurt.

Vega has to know I'll get jealous. I mean, I get jealous about fucking everything; but she doesn't care. She's showing me, quite publically, that she doesn't give a flying fuck.

Again, the urge to do it back, to just find somebody to make out with in order to make Vega jealous comes to me, but again I push the thought away.

It wouldn't help.

Vega wouldn't get jealous.

She'd just get sadder. Probably find a new way to hurt herself.

I don't even know why I still care.

Yes you do.

I do. So, I take a deep breath, put on my neutral face, and go to class.

I do that over and over again. It's the only plan I have for getting through school. But my plans change during 4th period.

Vega walks in.

She doesn't take her usual seat. She sits in front of Redhead. But she's here. And everyone goes deathly quiet. I have no doubt that Sikowitz climbing in through the window has absolutely nothing to do with my classmates' sudden silence.

It's me. And Vega. But mostly me. They wanna know what I'm going to do since I always make the guy who sits behind Vega move so I can take his spot. They wanna see if I'll do the same with Redhead.

I ignore everyone and play with my scissors.

Thing is, I could make Redhead move, but not without a scene, a huge scene. That gank is all kinds of stubborn.

Out of my peripheral vision, I see Redhead tap Vega on the shoulder getting her attention. And when she has it, I see her ask a question. I see Vega frown, then Redhead pulls out her phone, messes with it for a bit, and then shows it to Vega.

Vega rolls her eyes and shakes her head, giving Redhead a negative answer.

I didn't hear any of the conversation, but I hope Redhead was asking Vega about her date with Alyssa Vaughn. And I hope that negative shake of Vega's head means my girlfriend isn't dating Alyssa Vaughn, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. I've studied that stupid picture of Vega and Alyssa Vaughn so hard that I know it was a date.

Because Vega's blushing. In the picture, with Alyssa Vaughn, my Vega is blushing.

Finally, Sikowitz speaks up. "Who's ready to play foreign dub!" he exclaims excitedly. As if he really can't feel all this suffocating tension in the air.

Redhead raises her hand.

"Yes, Melissa Imnuhere."

"It's Belle." She corrects automatically. "What's Foreign Dub?"

"Excellent question! Cat, Beck, and you two," he points to a few female shruggers in the corner. "Up on stage. Now, Cat, Beck, you two will be foreigners from different countries. "You," he points to the blonde shrugger. "Will be Beck's translator. You," He points to the brunette shrugger. "Will be Cat's translator. Cat and Beck will speak some gibberish and you will have to translate what they're saying strictly by using their body language and tone. Ready set go." He points to Beck.

Beck looks at Cat and smiles before making some random sounds. It's quite obvious he's saying hello because he raises his hand and waves, plus it's the tone of his voice. It has that "greeting" sound to it.

This is actually a pretty interesting game.

But then Blonde Shrugger translates that, saying, "Hey have you checked Buzzfinger yet?" before quickly looking at me and Vega in the audience.

Fuck.

I take a quick peek at Vega; she's refusing to look at anything but her lap. And I know she knows where this is going too.

I swear I could just kill those fucking shruggers.

As I'm thinking many twisted and disturbing thoughts, Cat speaks some gibberish back to Beck. Honestly, it could be anything from, "the rainbow has unicorns dancing on it," to, "I swam with the mermaids after breakfast this morning." That's just what I'm getting from the expressions and hand movements. It's definitely not what the translator translates, which happens to be, "Yeah, I'm not at all that shocked though."

There's a long pause after that because it's Beck's turn. But he doesn't say a word. He knows where this is going too and he clearly wants no part of it. It makes me feel a sudden rush of affection towards him. He's really not that bad of a guy. Maybe I mistreated him. The way I broke up with him to make him jealous, and then just moved on without a backwards glance once I actually fell for Vega. He didn't deserve that…because he's a nice guy.

"Beck, your turn," Sikowitz reminds him.

Beck shrugs a little hopelessly and murmurs something out.

The blonde translates for him. "Me neither." She says. "I heard Tori"-

"Cut!" Sikowitz abruptly yells. "This is an improv game, not a gossip column, sit down." He shoos the shruggers off his stage. Well Cat and Beck too, but we all know who he was referring to. "And you wonder why I never let you shruggers do anything." He adds on. Just in case anyone had any doubts.

Once everyone is seated, Sikowitz addresses the whole class. I'm expecting to get a more elaborate lecture on what just happened, but I don't. "Beck, André, Cat, Robbie, Jade, Melissa, and Tori, stay seated," Sikowitz announces. "The rest of you can wander the hallways."

"But we have fifty more minutes left of class," Blonde shrugger protests.

Next thing I know, there's a coconut flying at her head. Unfortunately, she ducks it, and all the kids who had Sikowitz's blessing to leave, suddenly disappear.

Sikowitz smiles at the seven of us. It's actually kinda creepy, but in a good way. "Who wants to be in a parade?!" he asks.

I'm so tempted to walk out, but I wanna see what Vega says. If she decides to be in the parade than I'll do it. Yes, I know I'm becoming a fucking stalker.

Fortunately for me, it looks like no one wants to be in the parade. Their faces and body language just say it all. They'd rather go to a funeral with André's crazy grandma than be in that parade.

That is until Sikowitz bribes them with a chance to be on national television. That's when everyone gets interested. Redhead first, followed by André. Then the rest. Vega's last, besides me to commit, and I'm not saying I do until she does.

Redhead nudges her in the rib and she finally agrees to do it.

Everyone looks at me now, including Sikowitz. "What about you, Jade?" he inquires.

I don't want to be so obvious about wanting to spend time with Vega, so I say, "I'll think about it."

"Think about it?" Sikowitz pouts.

I shrug my shoulders and make up a line on the spot. "My mom left me with my sisters for the week. I might not be able to get a babysitter." My line just so happens to be the truth as well.

"So bring them with." Sikowitz suggests.

Does that man ever take no for an answer?

"Fine." I concede, though I make my consent look reluctant.

The rest of class is spent thinking up ideas for the float.

{~~~O~~~}

By the time the lunch bell rings, I've got a major headache. Vega's part of the reason, but it's mostly this stupid parade. Somehow we ended up agreeing to let Cat decide on the float since we couldn't think of anything, and now we'll be riding in a big cupcake.

A fucking cupcake!

I put that thought aside when I see that Vega isn't on her way to The Asphalt…but Redhead is. They've split up. If I want to talk to Vega, alone, now would be the time.

I walk quickly to catch up with her because running would make me look desperate. Then I quickly get in front of her and block her way.

"Vega, can I see you for a second?" I ask before she can react in any way.

She frowns at me.

"Please?" I ask quickly.

"Sure." She says, in a tone that suggests this was inevitable, yet it's still exasperating at the same time. She doesn't move though. It's like she's waiting for me to start talking, here, in the school hallway, with all the nosey wazzbags around.

"In private?" I clarify.

Vega looks around, a bit wary. She doesn't want to be alone with me.

I sigh. "Look, I don't want an audience, but if you need one, I don't mind saying what I have to in front of them."

God, where has all my pride gone?

She looks around again; then nods her head. "We can go to my car." She suggests. Then she walks away, and I follow.

It feels wrong; tailing behind her like this in silence. It's even humiliating. But I get through it.

When we get to her car, she doesn't hesitate to open her door and hop in the driver's seat. I get in the passenger's.

"You wanna go somewhere or…."

I nod my head, biting back my retort, which was going to be, "Why don't we go to Jerry's? You know, the place where you had a date with Alyssa Vaughn."

Vega starts up her car and drives a little ways off before parking in some random lot to a tire store.

We don't say anything for a minute, and I'm honestly expecting Vega to urge me to lead as I was the one who wanted to talk to her, not the other way around.

But I just can't seem to get my thoughts together.

After about a minute of this uncomfortable silence, Vega exhales loudly. "I saw Joy this morning, at Jerry's." She admits. "Did she say anything to you?"

I shake my head. "No." And I bite my lip. It's getting so hard to keep my mouth shut and not lash out, but she mentioned Jerry's, casually. She mentioned her date with Alyssa Vaughn; just threw it in my face. She even had the nerve to add my mom in the mix. Which makes me feel even worse, because if Joy knew, why didn't she give me a heads up?

"Aren't you gonna yell at me now?" Vega sighs.

"Is that why you went?" I ask. "So I would get jealous and yell at you?" I have to admit, the idea of her trying to make me feel jealous actually makes me feel a little better.

"No." She answers. I blink at her. "I went because I wanted to."

Okay, that hurt.

"Well, I really wanted to go to The Gorilla Club," She continues. "But I can't do that anymore 'cause I pinky promised you I wouldn't, so…."

I stop listening to her…. Because my brain is absolutely fried. She wanted to go to the Gorilla club this morning? The stupid building isn't even open yet! It was way too early for that shit! Seriously, what could've possibly happened to make her want to go to the fucking Gorilla Club that early in the fucking morning?!

"Jade, I really do need a real break." Those words snap me back to the present.

So I snap back. "I thought I talked you out of that?"

"I talked myself back in."

"When, at Jerry's with Alyssa Vaughn?" I can't help but dig in.

"No, after you left yesterday."

I let out a long exhale and look up at the roof of her car. Maybe, I should just stop fighting so hard. Maybe if she gets what she wants she'll….God, I just don't see how her getting a real break will make this any better for me.

It's not about you, dum-dum! It's about her. It's about what she needs.

And what if she doesn't need me? Huh, Tori?

I know, I know. I'm selfish. You don't have to say anything, Tori.

I grab my skull with both hands and groan. I'm getting another fucking headache.

"Jade?" Vega pleads. That's all she says because she knows I know what she wants. What she's asking for. She still wants that break. I should just give her that break.

I drop my hands from my head and look at her. She's looking right back at me, and she's begging, using nothing but her eyes.

It's that same look Amber's been giving me. The look I don't know how to change 'cause I don't exactly know what to do. But for Vega, I know what to do. I know what will get her to stop looking at me like that. I gotta give her that stupid break.

But first….

"Do you love me?" I ask her.

"Yes," she answers. No hesitation.

I like that.

"Do you like her?" I continue.

"No." Vega says.

I scrunch my face up a little. "You don't even know who I'm talking about." I answer, though it's totally obvious.

"It doesn't matter who you're talking about."

I like that answer too.

"Alyssa Vaughn." I clarify.

"It doesn't matter who you're talking about." She repeats.

"She likes you, you know that, right?" I continue as if I didn't hear her answer.

Vega rolls her eyes. "No she doesn't."

"She does and you know it, you're not blushing in that picture for no reason!" I hiss, feeling myself get worked up and angry again.

"God, Jade! I look like crap!" Vega yells. "And she kept calling me gorgeous. The whole time. You'd blush too if someone like Alyssa Vaughn was calling you gorgeous while you look like this!" She gestures towards herself.

Actually, no I wouldn't because I fucking hate that gank; but I look at her. Really look at her.

She's a little rumpled, and she's not wearing any makeup, but she's still my Vega. She's still beautiful to me

"Vega, you're beautiful." I can't stop myself from saying out loud.

She groans and closes her eyes, plopping her head back on her head rest. Kinda hard too.

She probably thinks I was giving her a line. So, I try to explain. And I cross my fingers and hope to Dan that it comes out better than when I was trying to explain my feelings to Joy yesterday. "Vega, that messy bun at the top of your head?" I start off. "That's how you wear, used to wear, your hair when it was bed time at my house. You'd put it up in that quick untidy little rooster's nest, change into some of my clothes, and hop into my bed. Then we'd either argue, usually with each other, but sometimes it would be with the twins; or we'd watched that stupid lifetime channel together. And since the movies were always stupid and predictable, I'd watch you instead, but not in a creepy way. I just liked the faces you made at the TV when the oh so predictable plot twists were revealed. Then we'd go to sleep; and my face always ended up just beneath, or just behind, that bun. And right now, with the nest on top of your head, and without the makeup, you look like that. Like those memories. And you're beautiful."

For a moment, I think I've overdone it, because she doesn't say anything. It's not until she lets out a very watery, "Thank you." That I realize I managed to get to her. And I breathe. I can do this. I can give her a break. I can give her the space she'll need to realize what we have and come back to me.

I take a deep breath. "What are the rules?" I ask.

She opens her eyes. "Rules?"

"Yeah, rules." I look at her. Straight in her eyes and I don't flinch. "You're still my girlfriend. You can't break up with me."-

"I know"-

"And I'm never breaking up with you." I interrupt. "So, since you're stuck with me for all of eternity, what are the rules for this stupid break? Are we supposed to never see each other? Do we ignore each other in the hallways? Do we have joint custody with the friends; you hang out with them Monday through Wednesday. I get Thursday and Friday and we split the Holidays and the weekends"-

"Jade." She cuts me off. But it's not rude. It's soft and there's a faint smile. She's amused. I've managed to amuse her.

God I sound pathetic for being so cheered up by that.

She stares at me, long and hard before finally speaking again. "Can we try being friends?"

"What; like you and Redhead?"

Actually, that doesn't sound too bad right now. Vega and Redhead are close. They talk to each other. They trust one another. They sit in each other's laps occasionally. In fact, their relationship is pretty much better than ours is, except they don't make out or-

"No, more like me and Beck."

I blink at her. Her and Beck? "But you guys aren't really friends, more like acquaintances." I observe.

She shrugs her shoulders.

"Seriously?"

She shrugs her shoulders again.

"You want us to be friends like you and Beck are?"

She nods her head.

"But you guys hardly ever touch." I argue. "And you guys never go out alone. You hardly" -

"But he's there whenever we all do stuff as a group, so no joint custody with the friends." She puts in with this weird little smile. One that makes me want to slap the crap out of her because it's like she thinks she's doing me some good. And she's not.

"Oh," she continues. "And he doesn't call me anything other than Tori, but since you hate Tori, Vega's fine." She shrugs nonchalantly, but I can tell she's bothered.

The "me hating Tori" thing. It's one of our hurdles.

I should just get rid of that.

Wait…You're gonna tell her about me? Don't even think about it, dum-dum!

"Can I tell you a secret?" I ignore Tori before she convinces me to change my mind.

You're going straight to the looney bin after this, Jade.

Vega nods her head.

"You can't tell anyone else."

"I know what a secret is, Jade."

I roll my eyes. "I know you know what a secret is, but I'm serious, Vega. I don't even want to tell you because I know you won't believe me, and if you do, you'll probably think I'm crazy or creepy. I'm trusting you here and it's not easy, okay?!"

Tori's right. What am I thinking? I can't tell Vega.

Exactly what I said!

"Okay." Vega agrees.

I shake my head. "Never mind."

"Jade, I said okay. You can tell me."

I look at my arm, like I'm checking the time, but there's no watch there. I've never had a watch there. God, I'm fucking losing it. "We should just go back to school." I suggest.

Vega sees right past that deterrent, and it's like she senses the seriousness of this and her natural concern starts kicking in. "Jade. I pinky promise, I won't tell anyone your secret." She promises. "You can trust me."

Don't do it.

I give Vega my pinky, not even because I want to tell her my secret, but because I want to touch her.

Damn, I've got it bad.

"So tell me." She demands.

Don't tell her.

"I have a conscience." I blurt out.

Vega raises her eyebrows at me.

"You know, the little voice in your head that tells you right from wrong."

"I know what a conscience is, Jade." She rolls her eyes. "And everyone has one."

"Yeah, well I gave mine a name, and sometimes I talk to her."

Vega frowns. "Her?"

I nod my head. "Yeah, her. We argue a lot. Cause she's always trying to tell me what to do…."

Crap, I'm losing her. The way her face has suddenly taken on that, "oh my god I'm in the car with a masked murderer, how do I get out of here?" look. So, I try a different approach. "You remember your first day at Hollywood Arts?"

She nods; slowly, while she simultaneously, and inconspicuously, checks her surroundings for a quick escape.

"I had to be Tori," I rush on. "But I didn't know you. I asked you a few questions to get some background information, but I didn't really know you. So I had to make up someone to fill in the blanks so that I could be "Tori;" and the Tori I made up is the goody-two-shoes of all goody-two-shoes. Like, I couldn't curse, I had to clean my room, I had to let Joy hug me; it was a really bad day for me, trust me. And when the assignment was over, Tori just kinda…stayed…. In my head. She was just there, constantly getting on me about my language, and the way I treat the bra- my sisters, and-" I take a quick glance at Vega. She doesn't look anywhere near as alarmed as she did before so I take the time to breathe. Inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that I was never talking about you when I said I hated Tori. And it's why I refuse to call you that. I swear baby, Tori's so annoying you wouldn't even like her."

I can't look at Vega right now. Because I know she's gonna wanna tell me, in the most polite way that she can, that I'm crazy and we'll never get back together again; so I look at my nails, and I blush.

Dammit. I should've listened to Tori. I should've never told Vega about my fucked-upness.

"Jade," Vega says. I still look down at my nails. She sighs. "I don't think I'd be comfortable if Beck called me baby."

My eyebrows furrow, 'cause I think I heard her wrong…but I know I didn't. I just don't understand why I heard what I heard, so I look up at her and say, "What?"

"We," she gestures between me and her. "Are supposed to be trying to be friends like me and Beck." She explains. "And I don't think I'd be comfortable if he called me baby like you just did. He calls me Tori. But since you don't like to call me that, you should just stick with Vega."

I think I'm still confused. No. I'm not confused. She's confused.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?"

She nods her head. "Every word."

"So you heard the part where I said I have a Tori living in my head."

She nods her head again. "Yes."

"And of all the things I just said, your only comment is you don't think you'd be comfortable if Beck called you baby?"

She shakes her head. "I wouldn't."

"So….you're not gonna try to convince Joy to have me committed?"

"No." she smiles at me. Smiles at me. "We should be getting back to school though."

It's dismissing language; and this is not something I want dismissed. Either she takes it serious or lets me know what she plans on doing with this information because I find it hard to believe she's just willing to accept it.

"Vega! I'm serious." I snatch her key out of the ignition. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

She tilts her head to the side.

I try my best not to find that sexy at the moment.

"You want me to freak out?" She questions, calmly.

"No!"

"But me being okay is freaky?"

"Yes!"

Vega's smile gets even bigger. The best thing about that smile? She's trying her best not to do it. Which means it's genuine.

She holds her hand out, palm up, and I give her back her keys.

"I've seen worse." She explains with a small shrug as she starts up her car. "I do live with Trina after all."

I honestly can't disagree with that. But at the same time there's just no way she's this okay with this. With there being a Tori in my head. There's just no freaking way.

We ride back to school in silence. I have no idea what's going on in Vega's head, but I'm seriously freaking out. I must've missed something.

Suddenly, Vega's turning off the car and I realize we're back at school. That I've been spaced out the entire ride.

Vega starts unbuckling her seatbelt, and I feel a bit of panic bubble up inside of me. I just can't leave it like this. "So if I randomly start talking to Tori in front of you, you won't freak out." I ask her. My last attempt to ease my mind, I guess.

"Jade."

"What?"

She gives me a look. Like I'm beating a very dead horse.

"I just don't understand why you're so okay with this. I know you said you live with Trina and she's a freak but"-

"I'm flattered." She interrupts. "I'm flattered that the little voice in your head that tries to make you do good is named Tori. Okay?"

"O-okay."

Then she kisses me.

It's not hot, or passionate; it's not even intentional. Because she kissed me out of habit, just this quick goodbye peck on my lips, and for the first time since this whole break thing came along, I relax. I feel like she's not going anywhere. She's gonna be right here, waiting for me to prove I'm really hers. And I can do that.

"Sorry." She mutters. I watch the looks on her face, the way she internally beats herself up for her slip up, and I can't help but to tease her.

"You've kissed Beck before, so it's okay." I shrug.

"No," she corrects irritably. "He kissed me."

"So, that means I get to kiss you?" I tease some more.

"Jade…." She warns, getting out of her car and slamming her door shut a little harder than necessary.

I get out too and jog a little to catch up to her. I wanna keep talking to/teasing her.

"Hey, does he ever call you?"

She doesn't even look at me as she answers. "Beck? No."

"I see. So if he ever did, would you answer?"

She glares at me.

"I just wanna know, 'cause we're supposed to be friends like you and Beck. So if I called you, would you answer?" I nag, trying my best not to smile as bright as I want to right now.

She glares at me some more, but she does answer. "If Beck called me, I would answer, but only because if Beck called me, it'd be an emergency, okay Jade?"

"Okay." I hold my hands up in surrender.

She rolls her eyes. "I'll see you later." she says before kissing me goodbye… again!

"Jade!" She yells at me… like it's my fault. Like I kissed her.

"What?" I smirk. For the record, I tried really hard to keep that to myself.

"This is why we need space!" She smacks my arm.

"Ow!"

She smacks me again. Then she literally runs away from me.

I wait until she's out of sight to start laughing, then I head for fifth period. Once inside my classroom, my mind instantly goes back to Vega. Her accidental kisses, the way she smiled at me, the way she didn't freak out about Tori, the way she said she was flattered. Flattered. Oh Dan, that girl was made for me.

{~~~O~~~}

When I pick up the brats-

Jade…

Fine, when I pick up my sisters from school, I notice right away that they're acting weird.

I say hi to both of them. And they both ignore me.

No, that's not the weird part. What's weird is the way that Riley's treating Amber.

I watch the two get in the backseat, and then I see Amber try to lean over and say something in Riley's ear, but Riley's not having it. She jerks away, giving Amber one of her most menacing glares and Amber backs up real quick.

Weird; but not alarming since Riley's been acting like the biggest little grunch on the planet for the past week or so.

"Seatbelts." I call.

It's one of the only things I can get them to do without a fight. And once they're buckled in, I drive off.

I go for a total of thirteen minutes before I stop my car and pull over to the shoulder. I can't take it anymore. Amber's been sniffling nonstop because of the way Riley's been ignoring her and it's giving me a headache.

I turn in my seat. "Booger, come sit up front with me."

Honestly, I expect to have to say it more than once; but Amber gets up immediately and tries to squeeze through the front seats. As soon as she's almost there, Riley grabs the back of Amber's shirt and yanks her back into the backseat, using all of her might.

Amber chokes. Literally; she grabs at her neck, coughs, and everything.

I see red.

"Hey!" I yell, twisting in my seat so I can properly yell at the little shit. "Do that shit a-fucking-gain, you little brat, and I'll"-

"Fuck you!" Riley screams back at me.

I pause. Riley has never said that to me before. Yeah, she's given me the finger plenty of times, but this...

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" I ask her, daring her to repeat that shit.

"I said, fu"-

"Riley!" Amber gasps.

Riley turns on her sister, and I get an inkling of what she's about to do before she does it. It's written all over her face. So I get out of my car - as if she's already done it - and I open up her door. But I don't make it in time. Just before I yank the little brat out of my car, she shoves Amber so hard she hits her head on her window. It cracks.

I swear, I could absolutely kill this kid!

Don't kill her. Tori panics.

Like I would really kill the little shit.

I pull the brat out of my car by her waist though. She's kicking and screaming, and if she doesn't stop that shit, I'll start. Trust me, she won't fucking like it if I start kicking. I carry her out of the road and over to the passenger side before dropping her in the dirt….because I wouldn't drop my sister in the middle of the road no matter how much of a little grunch she is.

She scrambles onto her feet, and I push her back down. Yes, Tori thinks it's a bad move, but Tori's really lucky the kid's still breathing at this point. "You're not getting back in my car until"-

"I don't want to get back in your stupid car!" she screams, getting back to her feet as if I never touched her.

"Then walk home!" I scream back.

Wait….What!? She can't walk home, Jade! Tori panics some more.

"I will!" And she starts. She just turns on her heels and starts walking in the direction of home.

Stop her! It's eight more miles, Jade! You're in the middle of the desert! It's hot! She'll dehydrate, or pass out, or something! You can NOT let her walk home!

"Fucking brat." I mutter as I walk over to the driver's side. I'm way too pissed to acknowledge Tori in any way.

"Fucking gank." I hear her call after me.

Yeah, she can definitely walk her ass home.

I snatch my door open and climb in. I also refuse to speak, or move, because right now, I feel like putting my fingers around Amber's throat and choking the life out of her. Seriously, this turning the other cheek shit has got to stop! She can't just keep letting people hurt her. She has to fucking grow a pair!

My phone chimes and I ignore it. Not in the mood to talk to anyone, not even Vega. Well, especially not Vega. With the mood I'm in, I'd only end up snapping at her and setting us back even more.

So, I watch Riley for a little bit. She's speed walking her ass off, burning anger fuel as she goes. I nearly smile at her. Even though that kid is a huge headache, I have to admire that fire. That refusal to take shit from anyone, no matter who they are. Even if she started the shit first. At least I don't have to worry about her. But her sister….

Once I feel I've calmed down, I turn on Amber. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?" I yell.

She shrinks back into her seat.

I sigh. Apparently, I haven't cooled down enough. So, I take a few more minutes, and a few more deep breaths. Then I put on my hazards so I can creep behind Riley until the brat is ready to get back in the car.

Then I try it again.

"Come sit up front, Booger." I say calmly.

She doesn't move.

"Amber, please come sit up front with me." I repeat. Though I'm using civil language, my voice is still firm. I won't ask her again. I'll just pull her ass up here by force. I guess she senses it because she gets up and successfully makes it up front this time.

I don't look at her. I take the time to inch my car up a little so I can catch up with Riley again. It's supposed to give me time to think; so I can figure out a way to say what I want to say to Thing Two without getting pissed again, but it doesn't take long at all to catch up to that brat. I've run out of thinking time. Any ideas, Tori?

You should probably make sure she's okay. She hit her head, dum-dum.

That's very true.

"Where'd you hit your head?" I ask.

Amber doesn't answer me. She doesn't even look at me.

That's because she didn't hit her head. Riley pushed her and her head hit the window.

I know that!

Then act like it!

Ugh!

"Amber, are you okay?" I soften… a little. I'm still irked.

She nods her head, still refusing to look at me.

"Come here." I sigh. "Lemme see."

Finally, she looks at me. But she's got the most confused expression on her pathetic little face.

Seriously; what's so confusing about "come here" and "lemme see it"?

"Come." I motion impatiently with my hand.

That confused look that's on her face amplifies. But she gets up on her knees, slowly. Awkwardly even. Then it dawns on me. She doesn't know what to do next.

I pat my lap to make it obvious.

I see understanding dawn, but disbelief and hesitation crawl in right afterward.

So, I grab under her pits and heave her into my lap, facing me.

"Where did you hit your head?" I repeat. This time much nicer.

Amber points to a spot on her cranium. And I look it over.

It looks fine. A little red, but it's not bleeding or anything. She might get a bump later. I mean, she did put a small crack in the window.

Joy would kiss it.

I scowl. So, Joy's her mom. That's her job.

Vega would kiss it too.

She would.

Fine.

I massage the spot on her head for a second. Yes, I'm procrastinating. So fucking what! Then I do it; kiss the spot on Amber's head. And I don't spontaneously combust. Go figure.

Suddenly, she buries her head in my chest. I grip her arms, ready to push her back into her seat for startling me like that. Too much intimacy too fast, you know? Then I notice her ears. They're red. I look down at her face and she's blushing. Blushing. Like Joy was this morning.

Seriously? What is their fucking deal?!

I start to feel squirmy, like I need to get the brat off of me and take a shower, or something; but I know Tori is gonna have a wazzfit if I push Amber off of me. So, I creep up a little to catch up with Riley instead. It reminds me of what just went down. And I get a little peeved all over again because the thought of it happening again…

"Booger, you can't just let people hit on you, okay? No matter who they are. And that includes Riley." I say as if it's a new law; one that's punishable by death if it's not adhered to.

She gets off of my lap abruptly and climbs back into the passenger seat. And now she's doing that thing where she won't look at me again.

I'm a little grateful, but at the same time…What the fuck?

"I'm serious." I press on. "I don't care if you're scared or whatever. Just tell someone, or something! Because I"-

"You let Grandpa hit you." She interrupts me. And glares at me. "You let Grandpa hit you, and you didn't hit him back, or tell Mom."….And she's still glaring at me.

Is she…Is she seriously sassing me?

"I didn't have to tell Mom." I argue back. "She saw it."

"Mom said he hit you other times and you never told. Mom said that's why you're not allowed over there anymore. Mom said"-

"Okay! I got it!" I yell back.

Mom's got a big fucking mouth.

I inch a little closer to Riley 'cause I have nothing to actually say to combat Amber's argument. The little pre-turd has a point.

But the thought of somebody hurting Amber like that again, and her not defending herself…

Ugh!

"Fine!" I concede. "I will never let anyone hurt me again without kicking their ass, no matter who they are, okay?"

She doesn't answer me; just stares at Riley's sweaty back.

"Okay?" I try again.

She shrugs.

I guess that's good enough. I tap her knee, trying to get a little more of her attention. "Now it's your turn."

She looks down at her lap.

"Say it!" I demand.

"I won't let anyone hurt me again." She mumbles.

Not good enough.

"Say the whole thing." I insist. "And say it like you mean it!"

She sighs. "I won't let anybody ever hurt me again…." She pauses there because she doesn't remember the rest.

That's okay, I remember.

"Without kicking their ass…." I prompt.

"Without kicking their butt" -

"No, without kicking their ass." I correct.

"It's a bad word." She whines, still not looking at me.

Like I don't fucking know that.

"Say it." I demand.

"No."

"No?"

"No." She shakes her head.

"No?"

This time she looks at me. Straight in my eyes. "No." She repeats firmly.

"Say it, or I will…I'll…."

You'll what?

"I'll tickle you until you wazz your pants." I threaten.

Lame. I know.

Amber shakes her head, truly adamant about not saying the word. God, she reminds me of Vega.

So I tickle her stubborn ass…and I continue to tickle her; even when she starts screaming that she has to wazz.

"Say it." I command.

"I have to wazz!" She screams again.

I don't let up.

"Say it…."

"Okay, okay, okay!"

I stop mid-tickle, but keep my hands on her ribcage just in case she reneges.

"Without…" she pants. "Without kicking their…um….kicking…Jade…." She whines.

God she sounds just like Vega. So I do to her what I would do to my girlfriend.

"Ass, Booger. Ass, ass, ass." I give her a tickle to emphasize each word.

"Okay!" she slaps at my hands. "Without kicking their…ass," she whispers the last word.

I could be an ass and make her say it louder, but I'm not really in the mood.

"No matter who they are." I finish.

"No matter who they are." She parrots.

"Pinky promise." I say, holding my finger out for her to take.

She holds her pinky out to me. It's nothing like Vega's. It's so fucking small and it makes me feel…affections. So I do a quick little link before I melt or something. Then I turn back and focus on Riley. Instead of creeping behind her, I pull up beside her and roll down Amber's window.

"Get in." I command.

She ignores me in favor of wiping the sweat off her forehead.

"Get in." I repeat a little louder.

She walks faster.

Seriously? I'm in a fucking car. She can't out-walk me!

But she tries. So, I slow down and start creeping behind her again. I don't need the stupid brat to exhaust all of her energy and faint.

I do that for about twenty more minutes before trying again, so sure that she's tired enough to get back in the car.

But once I'm beside her, she speeds up again.

Ugh! I swear I could kill this little shit and not feel an ounce of remorse.

"Do you think she's thirsty?" Amber asks out of the blue. Well, maybe it's not really out of the blue. We've been cruising for a while now and we still haven't made it out of the desert yet. There's no way Riley's not thirsty.

Personally, I don't give a fuck if she is thirsty. If she would climb her ugly ass back into the fucking car, we could be home in fifteen minutes. Then she could have all the water she wants. But of course Tori won't let me say that out loud; so I dig in my bag for a bottled water and hand it over to Thing Two so she can pass it to her sister.

"Here Riley." Amber hollers, holding the bottle out the window.

Riley ignores her, but Amber keeps holding the bottle out.

"She doesn't want it, Booger." I have to say it. If I don't, Amber will hold the bottle out like that until either we get home or her arm falls off.

Amber sighs and pulls the bottle back in. When she unscrews the cap I figure she's gonna drink it herself, but she doesn't. She splashes water all over Riley. Riley stops in her tracks and gasps.

"You looked hot. I was just trying to cool you down. Do you feel better?" She asks hopefully.

Riley rolls her eyes and keeps walking.

Amber sighs. I know she's feeling guilty as hell, like Riley walking home is her fault, or something.

Ugh! I wouldn't be surprised if the kid's heart is literally made out of gold. I tap her knee for attention. "I think that means yes, Booger. She feels better." I attempt to make her feel somewhat better.

Amber smiles at me; spearing all the love she has for me right at my face.

I don't smile back. I look away from her instead. My heart is feeling a little heavy at the moment.

Love is a feeling; I know that, but it's a visible one when she looks at me like that. I can literally see the way this kid loves me. The way she'll love me always, no matter what I do or say to her. The way she'll love me with absolutely everything she's got, and she doesn't have much. I didn't see it for what it was before. I thought it was weird, and obsessive, and annoying. Now, it's starting to feel like…I don't know… a responsibility, or something. Like I have to keep the love she has for me safe. Like it's my responsibility not to mar it, or abuse it, or destroy it. Like I can maybe push against it, or poke at it, but there's a line I can't cross now. Well, there's always been a line. I just didn't care to see it before.

I'm not entirely sure I like seeing the line now. I'm not entirely sure I hate seeing it either.

{~~~O~~~}

It's been hours. I mean literally 3 hours and some minutes since that brat started walking home and I'm only just now seeing our street.

I tried to get the stubborn little pre-turd back into the car, not that I wanted her in my car, but because I'm ready to go home. Hell, I was ready to be home hours ago. And now it's like 6:00pm.

My phone rings and I answer it without looking. I don't even care if it's Grayson. I need something to do.

"Hello sweetheart. I left a note for you on the fridge, didn't you get it?"

Joy. I know it's irrational, but I'm a little wazzed at her right now. So I answer in short sentences.

"No."

"Well, Uncle Derek won't be able to make it tonight, but he'll be there by the time you guys wake up for school tomorrow." She continues.

"Ok." I grunt.

Honestly, I forgot he was supposed to be coming over.

There's a long pause on her end but I don't hang up or say anything. I know she's not gone. And I'm too bored to cut the conversation short.

"Are you turning back bitchy?" she finally speaks again.

Seriously?

I let her have it. "You could've given me a heads up." I hiss.

"About what?" She sounds so confused.

"Vega being on a date with Alyssa Vaughn!" I practically yell.

"It wasn't a date." She sighs. I can practically see her rolling her eyes at me.

"How do you know?" I retort.

"She told me."

I roll my eyes, not that she can see. "Of course she said that to you. You're my mom!"

"Yeah, well, she told me while she was standing right next to the girl. So, even if Tori didn't mean it, I doubt Alyssa appreciated hearing that come out of Tori's mouth. I really don't think you have anything to worry about, baby."

The thought makes me feel better instantly. Even though I already have Vega's reassurances.

"So, what are the girls up to?" Joy changes the subject. "Are they behaving?"

"They're being themselves." I answer with a note of panic, because I know she's gonna wanna talk to them. Once she gets a hold of Riley, I am in deep shit. Joy's gonna find out I made my sister walk home from school.

What the fuck was I thinking!?

"Well, let me talk to them." Joy says.

I hand Amber the phone first. And I let my anxiety start to build while she talks to her mother. I think I'm gonna be sick. My stomach won't be still. It's rolling over itself; stretching up into my ribcage, pressing down on my bladder. I'm gonna chuck, or wazz on myself any second now. God, I remember the days when I couldn't care less what Joy thought of me. Now look at me. This is pathetic.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Amber shoot me a nervous look, and I know it's because Joy wants to talk to Riley. I drive up beside Riley and roll Amber's window back down. Amber holds the phone out the window. "Mom wants to talk to you." She tells her sister.

Riley turns to face the window and reaches for the phone.

My heart sinks. The kid is exhausted. Her lips are dry and cracked. She's red all over. Especially in her face; which is dirtied with sweat and desert dirt. And her arm, it's shaking so bad as she reaches for the phone.

Joy is gonna absolutely murder me. I know it. As soon as Thing One is done on the phone, I'll be in for it. I'll be grounded for a month. Joy will take my keys away and make me walk home from school every day so I can see how it felt for Riley. And I'll deserve it because the truth is I could've made Riley get back in the car. I'm the one in charge. And I've never let Riley dictate shit. If I truly wanted her back in the car, I could've physically put her back in the way I physically took her out. But I didn't. I wanted to torture her ass for what she'd done.

Twenty seconds later, I'm parking my car and Riley's handing Amber my phone. "Mom wants to talk to Jade." She pants. She's too tired to even shoot me the "you're gonna get it" grin.

Amber gives me the phone. I shoo her out of my car. I don't want her in here when I get my ass handed to me.

She hesitates. I raise my eyebrows.

She gets out.

I take a deep breath and press the phone to my ear.

I can take it. Whatever punishment Joy hands out. Whatever obscenity she screams at me. I can take it. I've done this a million times.

"What." I say as nonchalantly as I can.

Joy doesn't say anything immediately but I know she's there. I know not to hang up.

"Joy?"

"Let Riley back into the fucking car."

I remember a time when I actually wanted this. When I wanted to wazz Joy off to the point where she curses me out using her big girl words, that way we could have the most epic shouting match ever. But now….

"Now, Jade!" Joy screams at me, 'cause I never said anything. And she didn't hear me tell my sister to get back in the car.

And she's not going to either.

"I can't," I mumble. "We're already home."

Again there's a silence on her end. One I know doesn't mean she's hung up. So I wait for her to start speaking again. She doesn't disappoint.

"Please tell me that you did not make my baby walk home in the fucking desert." She says quietly. Normally, when Joy is talking to me about Riley or Amber, she calls them my sisters. It doesn't matter if she's mad, sad, happy, or whatever. It's always, "your sister this," or "your sisters that." It's never, "my daughter." It's never "my kids." It's never, "my baby." I never noticed she did that. I'm only noticing now because she didn't do it this time. This time she called Riley her baby and not my sister. It makes me feel… disclaimed. "Please tell me that you are not so fucking cruel to do that to my eight-year old little girl." She continues, getting a little louder. "Please tell me that when I told my mom I could trust you with my babies that I wasn't mistaken!" she's screaming now. "Please tell me…" she goes on and on; but all I can hear is my daughter….my baby…my little girl….my, my, my, my…. And I can't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry, okay Joy!" I scream back, mostly so she can hear me over her own screaming. "I'm sorry I hurt your kid but can you please stop yelling at me for a second! Please." I sob.

I grab at my head. I feel like it's gonna blow. And not just my head. I feel like my whole body is gonna blow. Just combust and fly into a million pieces. I've never felt this way before. I don't know what to fucking do, or how to handle it, or why I'm feeling so completely fucked up.

"Jade?" I hear Joy question. She's waiting on something, but I don't know what it is. I haven't been listening. I don't know what she expects to hear from me, or what she wants to hear from me, but I don't ask either.

"I'm sorry." I sob some more. I just want it to be over. I just want to go in my room and sleep. "Please still love me." I plead.

Wait. I sniff and hold my breath so I can think clearly. What the fuck did I just say? Did I really just say….Oh. My. God. I don't know why the fuck I said that out loud. I didn't even know I was thinking it in my head. And there's no way to take it back. God, that had to have been the most pathetic thing that's ever come out of my mouth. And what's even worse? I want Joy to tell me she still loves me. I'm waiting on it.

But she doesn't.

"Give the phone to Amber." That's what she says.

I try my best to swallow the lump in my throat, but that motherfucker is huge. I'll have better luck swallowing Edward's scissored hands.

I pull the phone away from my ear and look for Amber.

She's sitting right next to me, in the passenger seat. She's doing it again, making her love for me visible as she stares at me with tears in her eyes. Genuine tears.

I don't know when that little creep creeped back into my car. But I'm so glad I don't have to move. Silently, I hand her my phone.

I look out my window as Amber talks to our…Joy. I tune out completely until she pats me on the arm.

"Here." She says, handing me the phone.

I take it from her. And put it to my ear, but I can't seem to make my voice work.

"Jade?" Joy questions. I pull my phone away from my ear. It's on speaker now, and so damn loud.

I nod my head. I know she can't hear that, but I still can't seem to speak.

"She can hear you, Mommy." Amber has to speak up on my behalf. How pathetic is that?

"Jade, I need you to do a favor for me, baby."

I inhale shakily and let it out quickly. She called me baby. It's a good sign.

"Close your eyes and give Amber a thumbs up."

I stare at my phone. What?

"Is she doing it, Amber?"

"No. Not yet." Amber answers honestly.

"Close your eyes and give Amber the thumbs up, Jade." Joy commands a little more sternly. Motherly.

I do it. And As soon as I do, I feel Amber wrap her arms around me.

"Don't fight it, Jade." Joy says before I can tense up and push my sister away. "I'm not there to hug you, so this is gonna have to do, understand?"

I don't answer.

"Just pretend those are my arms. I know they're small, but it's the best I can do right now, okay?" she continues. "Hug me back."

I wrap my arms around Amber and hug her tightly. Doing as Joy said; pretending that it's her I'm holding onto and not my eight year-old sister.

"Is she doing it?" She asks.

"Yes." Amber's answer is a little breathy because I'm squeezing so tight, but I don't loosen my grip. I need this. I don't know how Joy always knows what I need, but I'm not questioning it anymore.

"Good. Jade I want you to listen to me. Keep your eyes closed and just listen, okay?"

"Okay." I mumble.

"I love you, Jade." I sniff, so relieved to hear her say that. So pathetically relieved. "I'm not going to stop." She continues. "But I'm angry with you. And I'm disappointed. You made my baby walk home from school, Jade. And I'm too far away to come see about her. I am hours away. So I'm freaking out. This is what I do. I freak out when people hurt my kids. Don't pretend I wouldn't do this for you. Don't pretend I haven't done this for you."

Instantly I'm reminded of the day Bill hit me. She did do this for me. She freaked on her dad for hitting me; and she freaked on her mom for defending him. Of course she would freak on me for hurting Riley.

"I am your mother, Jade." I blink and focus back on Joy's rant. "I should be able to freak out on you without you pulling this shit on me. Without you deciding that I must not love you anymore because I'm yelling at you! You can't do that to me. It's not fair; and I refuse to drive myself insane by monitoring every little thing I say to you. You should just… know by now. Okay? You should just know that you're my baby no matter what. But right now, you are not the baby. You're not the hurt one. You're the one who did the hurting. You're the bully; Riley's the baby right now, understood?"

"Yes." I croak.

"Good. Give her a kiss, Amber."

Usually, Amber hesitates with stuff like that. Not this time. Immediately, she presses a kiss to my cheek. Weirdly enough, it's almost like Joy kissed me herself and it kinda, actually, surprisingly, makes me feel a little better.

"Alright. Now that I've calmed down…What'd she do?" Joy asks.

"What?" I ask absently while wiping at my eyes.

"What'd Riley do? Why did you make her walk home?"

I shrug my shoulders. "It doesn't matter." I say; because I know there's nothing I can say to make Joy agree that Riley deserved to walk home from school.

"I wanna know." She insists.

Fine.

"She pushed Amber into the window. I freaked and overreacted." I answer matter-of-factly.

"The window?"

"There's only a small crack." I assure her.

"A crack? There's a crack?!She pushed her that hard?!" she screams.

Quickly I take her off speaker and press my phone to my ear.

"Whoa, Joy. Calm down. I checked Amber's head. It wasn't bleeding. She's fine."

"Put Riley's ass on the phone."

I shake my head. Not that she can see. "Mom,"-

"She pushed my baby into the fucking window! I swear to God"-

"Mom!" I interrupt.

"What!?"

I smile a little. Looks like Riley's no longer the baby. Still, I take a little pity on my sister.

"I think she's been punished enough." I defend Riley. "She walked home from school. In the desert. She can barely lift her arms. The poor kid is exhausted. You can't scream at her right now."

Joy's silent on her end again. Well, not that silent. I can hear her quietly counting backwards from ten. When she gets to three, she sighs deeply.

I guess she's calmed down now.

"Fine," she gets back on the line. "Just…I love you, baby."

"Thank you."

I'm supposed to say, "I love you too." I know that, but "thank you" came out instead. She said that to me this morning when I kissed her cheek and I thought it was so weird, but I get it now.

{~~~O~~~}

Redhead's not here yet, which is fine by me. I've ordered pizza because I ain't cooking shit. And she better eat some of it because if she doesn't Joy's gonna nag my ass to death about it. I have no idea why my mom keeps pestering me about the girl's eating habits, but after nearly giving her kid heatstroke and getting let off the hook, I know I better give the woman whatever she wants.

Suddenly, thoughts of Redhead and pizza are pushed aside when one of the brats starts screaming. But it's not a playful little shriek. It's a real scream. One that lets me know something is wrong.

Instantly I think of Amber.

"Jade!" She starts screaming my name, and I swear I'm gonna absolutely murder Riley for doing whatever the hell she did to make her sister scream like that.

But when I get to the girls' room, I find out it's not Amber who's hurt. It's Riley. There's a knife poking out of her arm.

"What happened?!" I freak, running up to them.

"We were playing pirates." Amber explains hysterically. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Riley, shit." I move to pull the knife out of her arm.

"No! Not you!" Riley screams back, yanking her arm out of my reach. "I want Mom to do it!"

"Well, Mom's not here!" I shout while reaching for the knife once again.

She jumps up on her bed, evading me again. "No! Then I want Tori!"

I don't mention the fact that Vega's not here either. Riley knows this. Vega hasn't been around for quite a while now.

So, I lose my patience with the little pre-turd instead.

"Riley, gimme your arm!" I yell, hopping up on her bed too.

Of course she chooses that moment to jump down and run over to Amber's side of the room. "No, I want Tori! I want Tori!" She screams. She's nearly hysterical.

"You can't have Vega!" I scream back at her. I have a feeling I'm gonna have to chase her, and the thought is pissing me off something serious.

"Why not?" she wails. "Amber got to see her today! She's my friend too!"

What the hell is she talking about? I'd ask her to explain that a little more, but there's a fucking knife poking out of her arm. That is my priority.

"Just gimme your arm before I break it!" I scream at her.

"No!" She screams back.

"For fuck's sake. Riley gimme your arm!" I run up to her. She runs behind Amber's bed. So, I have to lunge at her and I end up grabbing the back of her shirt. She chokes a little, like her sister earlier. I know Karma is a bitch and all, but it's the wrong time for her ass to be showing up. I'm not trying to injure the stupid brat any more than what she is right now.

I grab Riley more securely around her waist and pin her down on Amber's bed. She's screaming bloody murder, but I don't care.

"Go get me a towel!" I yell at Amber.

She runs to do my bidding immediately.

I grab the handle and pull, while Riley's screaming. "Get off, get off. I want Tori. I hate you! I want Tori. Not you!"

"If you'll shut the fuck up for a second, I'll call her!" I scream back at her before I can even fully think it through.

She shuts up though, so there's that.

Amber comes back with a towel and I wrap it around Riley's arm quickly before pulling my phone out of my back pocket and calling my girlfriend. She answers reluctantly. I can tell because of the amount of times the phone rang, and because I hear her sigh on the other end as a greeting.

"Vega, meet me at the hospital. Amber accidently stabbed Riley's arm with a knife and she's asking for you." I start off quickly and without preamble, then I tell her which hospital and hang up. Yeah, I gave her absolutely no time to respond. If she comes, she comes. If she can't make it, well, I don't really wanna hear any reasons for why she couldn't come. I doubt Riley would want to hear them either, even though I couldn't care less about what that brat wants.

Next, I call up Joy as I'm ushering the twins to my car. I don't even think about how weird it is that I called Vega up before I called the kid's mother.

I take a deep breath when Joy answers.

God she's gonna kill me. First I make her kid walk home from school and now this!

Then I let it out, like ripping off a band aid,

"I'm taking Riley to the hospital. Amber accidently stabbed her in the arm."

Surprisingly, Joy doesn't flip her shit. I fully expected her to tell me how irresponsible I am and how I should've been watching them, but she simply asks me if Riley's okay.

Can you say relief?

I hand my phone over to Riley so she can talk to her mother on our way.

When I get to the hospital, Vega's already there, standing in front of the entrance. Pacing. Not the worried kind of pacing. The angry kind.

Not a good sign; but I'm still happy to see her.

She pauses in her pacing for a moment and looks our way.

That's when Riley notices her. "Tori, you came!" she smiles brightly before running the rest of the way. You would never guess that her arm is leaking red stuff.

"Of course I came! What were you thinking playing with knives?" Vega screeches at her while inspecting her arm. Not that she can see much other than a blood-soaked towel...which freaks Vega out even more. Like, the kind where she starts speaking Spanish and yelling loudly. Still, I keep walking toward her. No, I don't have a death wish. Having just played foreign dub in Sikowitz's class, I can see Vega's very angry, but I also see none of the anger is directed toward me. She points at Riley's arm. She points at Amber, and she shakes her head.

I feel Amber hide behind me, and I don't blame her. This Vega is kinda scary. It doesn't help that we have no idea what she's saying.

"Yes, I know that, but"- Riley says.

Okay, apparently Riley knows what she's saying. Since when the fuck does Riley understand Spanish?

Vega interrupts whatever Riley was gonna use as her excuse with more Spanish, but just a sentence this time. I can tell by the lilt at the end that it was a question, but I have no idea what it was.

Riley understands. She answers, "Yes." Then puts her head down.

Vega sighs dropping her arms from her hips and kneels down. She gives Riley a tight hug, careful of her arm and she kisses her cheek.

Then she stands up, says something else in Spanish. This time she's looking at Amber.

Amber answers back. I don't know what she's said as it was in Spanish. Like, the kid actually spoke Spanish.

Seriously?

Vega looks at me. "Jade." She says. I wait for more, but she simply turns, grabs Riley's hand and starts toward the doors of the hospital.

That's when I realize she wasn't going to add more. It was supposed to be a greeting. A very stiff greeting. I try not to take offense. I know she's trying to create distance because she kissed me twice today already, but still the formality of that greeting was just some kind of mind fuckery.

I walk up to them, catching up quickly. I make sure to walk beside Vega. It's super cheesy, but I want to look like a family. I know we're too young to be the girls' parents, but I just want everybody to know we're together. Me and Vega…even the brats.

Vega takes Riley up to the desk and shows the nurse her arm. I think she's seen it before, because she doesn't freak out at all.

She gives Vega some forms to sign and tells her Riley will be seen in a minute.

"I'll fill out the forms, but you'll get someone to see her now." Vega answers absently.

The nurse rolls her eyes. "Ma'am."

Vega looks up at her, raises an eyebrow. "Now." She commands evenly.

God, she's so fucking hot.

A doctor walks by and the nurse tells him to take "the young lady."

Vega gives the nurse a smile; which makes the woman roll her eyes. Then Vega looks at me. "Jade, can you go with her while I"-

"I want Tori." Riley wails.

I roll my eyes. Not this shit again.

"Fine." Vega relents before holding out the papers to me. "Jade, can you fill these out?"

I take the papers from her. She takes Riley's hand and follows the doctor.

By the time I'm done filling out the forms, Amber's gotta wazz. I nearly send her by herself, but Vega's kinda made it habit to follow the brats to the bathroom, so I go with her. She holds my hand the whole way. I don't mind it as much as I used to.

I still have to remind her to wash her hands afterwards, especially because I know she's gonna wanna hold my hand.

Then we wait for her sister and Vega to come back.

It's a long wait. I watch a bunch of videos and play a bunch of games before Riley skids to a stop in front of Amber and announces that she got stitches.

"Lemme see." I ask before I can remember that this kid pretty much hates me right now.

"No!" She screams; snatching her arm away.

Vega walks up beside her and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Monstrito, let her see."

"But I hate her." Riley whines.

Vega stiffens, and her eyes narrow at Riley. Then she starts letting her have it in Spanish again.

"But"- Riley tries to interrupt.

Vega's not hearing it. She keeps on. And she goes for forever.

When she stops to take a breath, Riley shoves her bit out. "But she made me walk home from school today."

"Shit." I mutter when Vega turns on me.

"You didn't." she tells me. It's not a question. She's telling me that I better not have.

But I'm better prepared for this conversation. I just had it with Joy.

"If you knew why, you wouldn't be so mad at me." I say confidently.

"It doesn't matter why!" she screeches.

"You sure about that?" I answer calmly. "Ask her. Ask her what she did." I challenge.

Vega stares back at me for a few more seconds. I don't even blink.

She turns on Riley slowly. "What did you do, Monstrito?"

Riley doesn't answer. It seems like she can't. Like the words are stuck in her throat. She doesn't even know how to explain to my girlfriend what she did to her "mamita" as Vega likes to call Amber.

"What did you do?" Vega repeats.

"I had a bad attitude." Riley looks down at her shoes.

Vega looks back at me. I make a motion with my hand. Letting her know there's more.

She turns back on Riley. "What else?"

Riley scuffs her shoe into the tile. "I said a bad word." She admits.

Again, Vega looks to me. And again, I make that gesture with my hand, letting her know there's more.

She turns on Riley and folds her arms over her chest. "Enough procrastinating, Riley. Tell me what you did."

Riley winces and I try my best not to smile. I'm not even wanting to smile because Riley's in trouble with Vega right now. It's just...I love this. I love how me and Vega are communicating. I love how she's trusting me right now. How she takes my word for it when I gesture, not say, gesture that there's more Riley's not telling her.

"I…I…" Riley falters.

So I give her a little boost. "When I told Amber to come sit up front with me, what did you do to her?" I ask her.

She flinches a little. And I realize something. This is the first time she's really come to terms with what she did. I didn't let Joy talk to her about it. I didn't talk to her about it. And Amber sure as hell didn't say anything to her about it. They just started playing together like nothing happened. I doubt Riley's even apologized for it yet.

"To her?" Vega whispers. She's looking at Amber, but Amber won't look at her. In fact, Amber won't look at anyone. I get the feeling she wishes she was invisible right now.

Vega turns her attention back on Riley and stoops down in front of her so they're at eye level. "What did you do?" she repeats.

"I…Pulled her back. By her shirt and made her choke." Riley admits quietly.

Vega gasps. Me? I'm surprised she got all of that without any prompting from me. But there's still more than that.

"Then what did you do?" I continue.

"More?" Vega looks back at me. I nod my head. She turns back on Riley. "There's more? She questions disbelievingly.

Riley kicks at the floor some more.

"I pushed her into the window. She hit her head." Riley hangs her head down in shame.

"Yeah, so hard the window cracked." I add on.

Vega gasps. So does Riley. I don't think she knew about the window cracking.

Vega stands to her feet. "Riley Jade!" She yells; and that's all I know she says for sure because the rest is in Spanish; and man is she letting that little brat have it. I'm actually starting to feel bad for her. Especially when she starts crying.

It reminds me of my little episode in the car earlier.

"Why did you only come see her!?" Riley suddenly screams, interrupting Vega's rant. My girlfriend stops, giving Riley dipped eye brows. The ultimate sign of confusion. Riley wipes her tears angrily before continuing. "Why did you only come see her at school this morning?!" she points at Amber. "Why didn't you come see me too?!"

Okay. Apparently, Vega was at their school this morning, or something…I don't know. I'm lost as hell.

"Why didn't come see me too, Tori?" Riley repeats. This time much quieter and a lot more brokenly. The kid is truly hurt.

"Oh, Riley," Vega whispers softly. I can practically see the little strings on my girlfriend's heart being yanked on by my little sister's words. "I saw you, Monstrito." Vega admits as she lifts Riley up into her arms and pats her back soothingly. "I saw you too," she whispers before kissing her cheek. "I saw you."

Riley holds onto Vega tightly as she cries. Real tears. It doesn't seem like she'll ever stop. But she does eventually. Well, she hasn't stopped completely. She's still sniffling and hiccupping.

Vega tries to put her down, but the little brat holds on tighter, refusing to let go. "I wanna go to your house." She begs.

I'm not surprised. Vega screamed and yelled at the brat until she cried and she would still rather spend time with her than me. Not that I care.

"Um, I gotta talk to your mom first."

"Okay, call her." Riley fires back immediately.

"What, now?"

"Yeah."

Vega sighs and dials Joy up. The conversation is less than a minute long, and we all know what Joy's answer was before Vega hangs up.

Yes!" Riley exclaims before Vega can officially confirm what we all already know.

Vega rolls her eyes, but in an amused fashion before putting Riley down. "Say goodbye to your sister." She tells the twins.

Riley gives her a look, like she'd rather eat a toad, but after Vega raises an eyebrow at her she relents with an almost audible, "bye, Jade."

Amber on the other hand, squeezes my hand tightly. I actually forgot she was holding it until just now. I look down at her. She looks at me, then at Riley, then at Vega, and she looks like she's about to pee her pants.

What the fuck is wrong now?

"Mamita," Vega looks at Amber. Then she asks her a question in Spanish. I think she's asking her if she's okay. At least that's what it looks like she's asking her.

Amber answers Vega back, but in Spanish again.

And even though I have no idea what she said, I know she said something about me. I heard her say my name.

Riley gasps. "What? Why?"

I frown. Why what? What the fuck is going on?

Vega bends down to eye level with Amber. Says something else in Spanish and then Amber kisses her. When Vega straightens back up, she says, "Tell your sister goodbye."

I let go of Amber's hand so she can go with her sister and my girlfriend.

She doesn't move.

"Bye, Amber." Riley says.

I am not a slow person. I catch on to shit real fast; but I'll admit I don't fully catch on to what just happened until Riley grabs Vega's hand and they both start walking away…without Amber.

"Bye, Riley." Amber sobs before grabbing my hand.

My mouth falls open. I can't believe this. The twins never go anywhere without one another. Well, in school they have a different teacher, but this is different.

I look down at Amber, she's still staring after her sister and Vega, letting little tears run down her face. And I look up and see Riley, she keeps looking back at Amber, giving her these looks, begging her to join them. And I know Amber wants to go. I can tell she does. But she doesn't want to leave me alone.

So send her.

I know Tori's right. I do. But I realize I don't want to send her. I don't want to be alone. I want someone to love me enough to stay by my side other than my mother.

Still, I feel so guilty during the walk to my car that I lift Amber up and carry her the whole way. And when we get in my car, I put the radio on her favorite station and I sing those stupid songs that she likes while I hold her hand the whole ride home. And when we get home, I tell her she can sleep in my room tonight. And when she climbs into my bed, I wrap my arm around her middle and let her snuggle into me. I tell her it's just so she won't hit me, but I feel her grin into my chest and I know she doesn't believe me. I feel so guilty, that I don't actually want her to believe me anyway. I want her to know I'm showing her affection.

{~~~O~~~}

When I want something from Joy, I purposely call her Mom. It puts her in a better mood. So I wonder, if I call Derek "Uncle Derek" will it have the same effect.

Thing is, Cat wants us to wear these nighty onesies on the parade float. It's bad enough I have to be in a fucking cupcake, do I really gotta wear candy-patterned pajamas? And if I do, is there any way I can make them look any better. I mean, the parade is going to be aired on national television for Dan's sake!

I trudge down to the living room where Derek's doing some work or something on the family computer. I'm wearing an outfit he made for me, and when he spots me he grins. I know it's because he recognizes his handiwork.

"Hello, Jade. That's a cute outfit." He grins brightly. God, he's just like Joy. How did I not realize that?

"Thanks." I say nonchalantly. I don't want to be too obvious. "But it's old. I wear this skirt at least twice a week."

He squints at me. "You don't get an allowance?"

"What?" I scowl.

"Can't you buy new clothes?" He explains.

"I can buy new clothes just fine." I scowl some more, as if he's offended me. "This is just my favorite skirt."

"Oh." He says. He tries to hide a self-satisfied grin, but he's about to cave any moment.

I pretend not to notice.

"Uncle Derek?" I take a deep breath. Like this is truly hard for me to say.

He gasps dramatically and places a hand over his heart. How did I not know this man is gay?

"Never mind." I shrug, then I turn away as if I'm about to run back upstairs.

He gets up from the computer and comes after me. "No wait, Jade. What is it?"

Got him.

I turn back around with a sigh. "I…uh…It's stupid. Never mind." I turn away again.

"No it's not." He grabs my arm. "Come on. You can tell Uncle Derek anything."

God, I knew he would love that. And it really didn't kill me to say it.

I sigh again. "I'm supposed to be in a parade, but my outfit…." I scrunch my face up.

"Go on." He encourages me.

"I'm supposed to wear a fucking onesie with candy on it." I admit.

"Oh my god!" He gasps. "Why?"

Seriously. Did he always act like this and I just didn't see it?

"The float is a cupcake."

"What?!" His eyes widen to unhealthy proportions.

"I know," I continue. "And the worst part is it's supposed to be on national television, this Saturday."

He squeaks. Literally squeaks. "Don't say another thing! Where are my keys?" he asks himself as he goes on a search for them. I guess he's going out to get supplies so he can make my costume. He mutters to himself the whole time he's looking for his keys. All I can make out is "A cupcake…. my niece…. national television…. Candy…." before he's heading out.

I get the weirdest feeling when the front door shuts. I don't know how to describe it, but it's like…I don't know. Wow. I have an uncle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the screensaver for the computer pop up and it catches my attention. I wasn't aware of the fact that I was smiling until my smile drops. The screensaver is a picture of me, Vega and the brats, sleeping in my bed. Vega has an arm around Amber, and I've got an arm around Riley. In the middle, me and Vega are holding hands.

I'm not even creeped out by the fact that this picture was taken while I was asleep. I'm sure Joy thought it was a precious moment.

Probably because it was. I just hope there's another one soon.

{~~~O~~~}

Author's note: Before you guys even ask me, no the girls are not fluent in Spanish. They've only been learning for about 3 months. But the thing about leaning another language is it's not always about all the words. Hand gestures and facial expressions help out a whole lot. When I was in school, and my teacher was speaking Spanish to me, I could understand maybe 2 or 3 words a sentence, and from there I was able to use all my context clues to understand what she was saying. As for being able to answer back in Spanish, I struggled with that part. Which is why even though the girls understand most of what Tori is saying, Riley always answers back in English. Amber's a little more advanced than Riley, so she can answer back in Spanish, but she only uses a couple of words. She can't use full complete sentences yet.