BRIAN McFADDEN leaned against the doorframe of the hospital doorway. He hoped it gave him his normal air of nonchalance but in truth, it was holding him up. He could not get his heart rate to settle, and he knew if he stepped fully into the room he would probably fall over. His panic was in contrast to the scene in front of him. Hannah sat propped up in her hospital bed with Adam standing beside her, his arm around Ford's shoulders. Ford wore his left arm in a sling, and some bruises on his face and forehead and his eyes were red rimmed, although most everyone's tears had stopped by now. Guthrie sat on the side of Hannah's bed with little Kate in his arms. Crane stood behind him, a hand on Guthrie's slim shoulder. Daniel was on the opposite side of the bed, pour water into a glass for Hannah, who smiled up at him as she took. She took a sip and turned toward Brian. "Oh crap! He thought, recognizing the glint in her eye.

"You can come in the room, Brian. I won't bite." She said studying him.

"Well, that nurse is coming back to kick us all out in a few. I'm standing guard." He told her.

"Uh, huh." She shook her head and then turned back to Guthrie who had asked her something just then.

He turned away, looking out into the dim hospital corridor. His brain understood that everyone was alright, but looking at his sister-in-law lying in a hospital bed with his brothers looking weary and bruised, he found it much more difficult to settle his nerves. It was becoming impossible to stay where he was.

"I'm gonna go see if they found something for Katy to wear." He burst out abruptly and then disappeared before anyone could respond.

***7***

"You need to talk to Brian." Hannah spoke softly in the dim hospital room. The brothers had left and Kate lay sleeping in a hospital crib. Adam was slumped beside her in a recliner that a nurse had brought into the room. He was sitting with his head back, his eyes on the ceiling, but turned to his wife as she spoke.

"You are sleeping right now, remember?" He chidded her.

"I'm serious, Adam." She reached for his hand.

Adam moved and sat down on the edge of the bed, pausing to kiss her and then squeezing her fingers.

"I'm inches from completely falling apart, darlin'." He confessed. "So how about you close those pretty blue eyes of yours and we'll pick up on the regular stress of being heads of household tomorrow, huh?"

"Poor Adam," She said softly. "Never get a break."

"Poor Hannah, too. You married into a hell of a big job, sweetheart."

"Well, it helped that I didn't know it at the time." They turned their heads as Kate, deep in sleep, sighed loudly.

"God," He rubbed his face with his hands. "I couldn't even breathe and I don't know what . . ."

"Easy." Hannah said softly. "Everyone is fine." She sighed. "You need to sleep, hon."

Adam said nothing his eyes filling with tears. Hannah moved to the edge of the narrow bed, and he lay down beside her, his head resting on her should, his hand resting on her stomach. "Every day, all my life," He told her softly. "I love you, forever." He closed his eyes, fighting a powerful tide of emotion filled with the past, the present and the future, and still even then, his concern for Brian nibbled at the edges of it all.

"Sleep." Hannah repeated. "It's okay. We are all just fine."

The events of the night washed over him as he drifted to sleep. He clung to the truth of her words. There was an accident, but everyone was fine this time. This time things were different. He wasn't along. She was here, and both his children slept peacefully one in her crib, the other nestled safe inside his wife. Guthrie was fine and Ford was fine. Everyone was alright, just like she kept reminding him. Poor, Hannah he thought. She bore the burden of his wounds just as he did. She would spend weeks reminding him over and over again that everything had turned out just fine. She would understand his fears, and work to calm them, never mind that she was the one in the wreck. Whatever fears or terrors she had faced would take a backseat to his family history. He kissed her cheek again, "You are the one who needs sleep, sweetheart. Stop fussing over me." She squeezed his fingers, and he settled back against her shoulder, the familiar scent of her perfume clouded by sterile hospital smells. He forced his mind away from the painful memories associated with all things hospital, and drifted to sleep thinking of the way her eyes lit up whenever he made her laugh, but even then, even in that last moment before sleep, he could see, in his mind's eye, just beyond Hannah's laughing face, Brian leaning against the doorway, his face a mix of terror and anger.

***7***

Daniel leaned in the doorway of Adam and Hannah's bedroom.

"So, basically, you are saying if it is white or yellow, she is willing to eat it." Daniel was saying.

"Pretty much." Hannah agreed. She was sitting up in bed where she had been since returning home four days ago. "Ugh! This is so frustrating!" She leaned forward. "I will just."

Daniel bounded across the room to stand in front of her.

"No way! Not on my watch! Adam will KILL me if you get up. I got this. Katy is so easy. I just was double-checking before I fixed something. I'm sorry." He put a hand on her shoulder.

Hannah sighed heavily. "This is not as easy as it sounds."

"I don't imagine so." He told her. "I'm gonna go feed Kate and then I'll fix you something. You hungry?"

"I guess."

Daniel disappeared downstairs and Hannah tried to focus on the book she'd been reading, but her frustration at being so sedentary bubbled to the surface and she turned to climb out of bed.

"Four days!" Brian's voice startled her. "You can't even last four days."

"I was just . . ."

"You were just trying to bust outta here." He crossed the room and set the plate of food on the nightstand. "Don't sweat it, kid. Far be it from me to rat you out to Big Brother."

Hannah settled back against the pillows, looking up at her brother-in-law, who stood just two steps away from the door. "You know, this is the longest conversation we've had since the accident."

"You want to have a long conversation?" He challenged.

"What if I said yes?"

"I got work to do." He shook his head at her. "Stay in the bed. Adam's been through enough, alright."

"Hmmm, and what about you?" She asked. "You've been through nothing at all?"

"Lay off it, Hannah." He fumed and turned to go. "Daniel said he'd come for the plate so no need for you to get up."

"Good talk!" Hannah called cheerfully after he'd left, but even as she lifted the plate to eat her lunch, she knew that Brian was in deeper trouble than he or his brothers would ever admit.

***7***

Brian was right about one thing though, Adam had certainly been through enough, so Hannah left her worries over Brian alone for the next few days. It was two weeks after the accident that she finally dared bring the topic up. She was, of course, sitting on their bed, while Adam sat with Katy on the floor, playing with her tea set.

"Delicious." He said taking a sip of tea while Katy giggled, pouring more invisible tea into his cup. "Here," He held out a second cup. "Pour this one for Mama." He brought the cup to her and she sipped it much to Katy's delight.

"You make the best tea, Buggy!" Hannah told her daughter, but by then Katy had lost interest in tea and was instead pushing around her pile of stuffed toys.

Adam turned to her, "So, what did you do today?" He asked with a grin. It was his favorite question to her of late.

"You are such a jerk." She said throwing a pillow at him.

"Jerk." Katy said to her stuffed toy.

"Oh!" Adam exclaimed. "Good job, there Mama." He rose and moved to sit on the edge of the bed facing her.

"You have taught her some impressive vocabulary yourself, Cowboy." She admonished.

"That was Brian."

"Speaking of . . ." She began.

"What did he do now?" Adam asked, moving to sit beside her.

"Nothing." She sighed, deciding that now was as good a time as any. "Honey, I am worried about him."

"You worry about everyone." He pointed out.

"That's true, but lately, especially Brian. He's been on edge for ages, and since that accident . . ."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to say that word around me." Adam interrupted. He took her hand and rested against his chest. "Feel that. My heart rate just doubled. I swear, Girl, I can't even think about it."

"Apparently, neither can Brian." She turned to face him.

"What do you mean?"

"When's the last time you saw him talking to me or playing with Katy?" She asked nodding toward Katy, who toddled toward them, holding onto the side of the bed.

"I dunno." Adam paused to reach down and pick up the small girl, setting her on his lap. "We've been pretty busy with . . ."

"Darlin' you are busy with something, but I think this is serious. Crane said he came home drunk yesterday."

"Well, that's not all that . . ."

"On a Tuesday night?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "He is drinking more, and pulling away from us."

"I don't know." Adam sighed.

"God knows, I don't want to put any more stress in your life, but Adam, I'm worried."

"Well," He began but could think of nothing to add. "I guess . . ." He paused again. "Well, I'm worried too."

"I know that." She said resting her head against his shoulder, as Katy reached up and patted her father's face.

"Dada." She said. "Dada."

"That's right, Katybug." He said kissing her.

"You are everyone's Dada." Hannah said looking up at him, but he leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Not yours, Darlin'." He grinned at her. "Stop stressing about it, Hannah. You know I've been worried and you aren't telling me anything that I don't already know. It's my burden, anyway."

"Mine, too."

"Eat!" Katy demanded.

"Oh, missy is hungry, huh?" Adam asked. "Okay. Dada's on top of it." He rose lifting Katy up with him, but first he held her out close to Hannah. "Give Mama a kiss." He commanded and the toddler obeyed.

"I'll be right back with your supper, Mrs. McFadden. Stop fretting and read one of your books while you wait."

"Don't boss me, Boy." She teased him with a grin.

"Don't sass me, Girl." He left the room chuckling to himself, but inside, he felt everything she said pile on top of all his own worries. It wasn't hard to recognize that Brian was in trouble.

***7***

CRANE McFADDEN settled back in his saddle, bringing his horse alongside his brother's.

"Well, that's frustrating as hell." He said observing the downed fence line. "We just fixed it last week."

"We'll probably be fixing it next week, too." Brian told him. "I swear this place is falling apart."

"No, just this section of the fence." Crane said, trying to calm his brother, who seemed slightly agitated.

"Today. Tomorrow, it will be something else." He sighed, and glancing around pulled a flask from his pocket, taking a swig. "Don't you ever get sick of it?"

"What you drinking there, Bri?"

"Oh, shut up, Professor. It's 4:30 in the afternoon, and hot as hell." Brian said before turning his horse and riding off to begin the work on the fence line.

Crane hesitated before joining his brother. He pondered his next move. Should he confront his brother? It seemed that lately, Brian always had a flask nearby, but he didn't want to fight with Brian, either. Fighting with Brian was EXHAUSTING and usually left him completely rattled. He hated disagreements of any kind. Brian's temper was legendary - and Crane was pretty sure he didn't have the strength for it just now. Another time, he thought to himself. It is after 4 and it is a pretty small flask. It isn't anything to worry about. He rode toward the fence line, and hopping down, joined his brother with the task at hand, hoping that it would all blow over soon.