"So, you thought you'd give being the family trouble-maker a go." Brian said as Guthrie stepped into the doorway of the small space set aside for family visits. "Or you checking yourself in?"
"I see you talked to Adam." Guthrie spit back.
"Well, he does talk to me. Not everyone takes my calls." Brian shrugged. "You wanna sit down?" He indicated the couch to the left of the chair where he sat.
"I don't want to be here."
"I picked up on that." Brian responded and then fell silent.
Guthrie considered Brian thoughtfully, "You cut your hair."
"Yep." Brian said, running a hand over his close-cropped hair. "Sometimes you gotta change something on the outside to show how much things have changed on the inside."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Guthrie folded his arms across his body. "You gonna swear you'll never drink and drive again? You made that promise already."
"I did." Brian responded.
"Whatever!" Guthrie huffed, rising. "Where's Adam? I get it. I got drunk at a party and everyone is pissed off at me. Message received, alright."
"You think you are here because of the drinking?" Brian's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Pal, that ain't why you are here."
***7***
"She's sleeping." Crane said into the phone. "She was pacing around all night waiting for you and up at dawn, so Daniel snagged Katy, and I sent her back to bed. It only took us until about one this afternoon and I swear if the phone woke her, I'll strangle you."
"Good. Thanks, Crane." Adam sighed.
"So he is talking to Brian right now?"
"Yep. I fled the scene. That boy is pissed as hell!" Adam rubbed a hand over his face. "And Brian's none too happy with our baby brother so you might be able to see the fireworks from there."
"I can't believe he got drunk!"
"You should have heard him at breakfast - explaining how we are all over-reacting idiots. I should have dragged his ass over to Brian last week, and saved us all some grief."
"Well, you can't think of everything." Crane told him. "Listen, Hannah made me swear that if you called I would tell you to get a hotel room and stay the night. She doesn't want you driving home. You haven't really slept either."
"She mentioned it once or twice before I left."
"She's right, Adam. I mean, I'd feel better if you waited until tomorrow. Daniel, Ford and me can manage, and Evan's gonna be home next week, so whatever gets missed we can pick back up. You are tired, and Guthrie's a pill. You don't want to be responsible for her missing more sleep and spend more time worrying. That can't be good for the baby."
"You are such a jerk." Adam sighed. "It's not that I don't want to listen to her or you. It's just . . . she's got a check-up tomorrow morning."
"Oh." Crane considered this thoughtfully. "Look, I'll take her in or Daniel if she wants. I know you'd rather be there, but I promise to get all the facts straight from the doctor, okay?"
"She isn't dishonest." Adam explained. "It is just that she doesn't like to me worry."
"I know that." Crane answered. "She might leave out details if she felt they were unnecessary."
"Exactly." Adam responded. "She hasn't mentioned the appointment once because she is hoping I won't remember."
"Well, man look, we got this, and you can focus on little brother."
"Sure. Thanks, Crane. Tell her I'll call her around 7 or so - if she's awake."
"I will." Crane promised. "You take it easy, Big Brother, and call if you need backup."
"You just keep an eye on my girls. Thanks, Crane."
"No problem. We'll see you tomorrow."
***7***
"What's that supposed to mean?" Guthrie turned toward Brian. "I got drunk and Adam dragged me here."
"No, Adam dragged you here to deal with the reason you got drunk."
"The reason?" Guthrie shook his head. "Oh, God! What? You gonna analyze me now? You got short hair and a PhD since I saw you last?"
"Last time I saw you, you were yelling at me." Brian pointed out.
"So, what," Guthrie slumped back into the chair. "We gonna talk about our feelings now? Is this our official therapy session?"
Brian sighed. "You got something you want to say to me?"
"Yeah," Guthrie rose up again, fists clenched. "Goodbye." He stormed out of the room, and straight out the front doors of the rehab center. His fury pushed out across the parking lot and into an open field. He could hear the sound of Adam's voice in the background. He realized that he'd rushed right past him, but he didn't turn around, and he didn't look back. He kept moving at a near run, until he came straight up against a river. It was too full for him to cross, so he stood where he was facing the roaring water. He felt, rather than saw Adam's approach, and groaned out loud.
"Why won't anyone just leave me alone!" He said without turning around.
"Maybe because we care about you Guth." Adam responded gently.
"You do?" Guthrie spun around. "He does?" He pointed back toward the rehab center.
"He does." Adam said softly. "You know he does. He's just been in a bad place, that's all."
"Right. You are gonna cover for him, again. And if Katy had died? Would you be standing here pleading his case?"
"Katy . . ." Adam began but his voice broke. "What happened there is between Brian and Hannah and me."
"Right, like it doesn't affect me at all? Jesus!"
"No, that's not what I'm saying. Of course it affects you, too. Brian is . . ."
"A drunk, and Katy is my sister!" Guthrie growled. "He didn't . . .I don't understand why he left? Why?"
"Look, Guthrie," Adam put a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "I don't know the answer to that. I can't help you with any of that, but he," He indicated back toward the rehab center. "He can."
"I don't ever want to talk to him or see him again." Guthrie's voice was quiet steel.
"Ah, man," Adam sighed. "Guthrie, I am so sorry."
"You didn't do anything wrong! Why are you apologizing?"
"I didn't do a good job of protecting you, or helping you out. I should've . . .well, I should've done a lot of things." He rubbed his face with his hand.
"Like what?"
"I should've gotten you some help sooner. I should've intervened."
"Help? I'm not the one who needs help! What are you even talking about? He's the one! He's the one who makes promises he doesn't keep! He's the one who nearly smashes his car into a house and leaves Katy all alone and . . ." He looked up at Adam. "Ford and me cleaned up the highchair, you know? It had all these dried up pieces of peach just stuck to it like cement. It took forever, and it doesn't matter anyway you can't even pull it up to the table without her screaming. She remembers, you know?" He broke off seeing the expression on his older brother's face. "I'm sorry. You don't want to think about . . ." He broke off and turned to stare out toward the river. "I just kept thinking how long it would take for those peaches to dry out, and I don't know. I just feel so angry and . . ." Here he stifled tears. "And sad. I just feel so sad and I don't know what to do."
Adam pulled him against his chest. "You talk about it, Guth." He kissed his brother's forehead. "I'm so sorry. I know you feel badly. I know you are hurt."
"I'm not . . . It is Katy I'm thinking of and you, and Hannah." He protested.
"Buddy, listen, I know you are, but you are hurting for yourself, too."
"Nothing happened to me." Guthrie continued.
"Yeah, it did." Adam's voice was gentle. "It's pretty hard to realize that your parent has a drinking problem."
***7***
Katy toddled on unsteady legs toward the pen that held the baby goats. She would clutch her mother's leg for balance every few steps. They walked together into the dim light of the barn. Hannah pulled an apple out of her pocket and lifted it up toward Chance who's nose flared at the sweet smell of a mid-morning treat.
"Hey, there, beautiful." She said to the horse who reached over the pen to steal the apple from her palm. "How' my fella?"
"Up!" Katy demanded, and leaning with a groan, Hannah lifted Katy up and set her so that she stood on a stacked bale of hay, her tiny fingers reaching to pet Chance's mane.
"Mama can't be picking you up, Katy Girl." She said, keeping one protective arm around her. "You are too big a girl."
She turned toward Chance, and sighed. Truth be told she really missed riding. She understood that it was a temporary consequence of pregnancy, but she loved going out riding. Of course, since Katy had been born she'd had less time to just go out for a ride, but still it was something she missed. She loved the feeling of absolute unfettered freedom, and loved to explore every inch of the ranch that she'd come to love so much. She patted Chance's face, and reaching into her pocket pulled out another apple.
Katy had grown bored and had carefully climbed down from her perch, at first crouched in a squat studied the ground, trying to pick up tiny pieces of hay. She looked up when a shadow loomed over her, seeing him first.
"Dada!" She shouted with glee, and jumped up into her father's arms.
"Katybug!" Adam said joyfully, kissing her cheeks. He glanced over at Hannah, who turned toward the two of them with a wide smile.
"You're home!" She said and he pulled her into his arm, shifting Katy to one side.
"We are." He leaned in, kissing her.
"Where's Guthrie?" She asked glancing around.
"He wanted to take a shower. He's had a rough couple of days." He kissed her again. "So, what did the doctor say?"
She smiled mischievously. "He said everything is fine."
"What? That's it? Why are you smiling like that?" His eyes grew wide. "Hannah Joy McFadden! You KNOW!"
"It wasn't on purpose. The nurse thought I knew!" She said. "And how can you tell?"
"You got no poker face, darlin'!" He smiled at her. "Well?"
"Well, what?" She smiled back at him, and stepping away from his embrace she turned toward the doorway of the barn. "Guthrie will be hungry when he gets out of the shower. I better fix something." She glanced over her shoulder. "Aren't you going to tell me what happened?"
***7***
(Earlier . . .)
"You came back." Brian said as Guthrie stepped into the doorway of the room.
"You finally got your own room." Guthrie remarked looking around the small room that held only a bed, dresser and desk.
"Yeah."
Guthrie crossed the room and looked out the window before sitting down on the bed. "I shouldn't run out. That's little kid stuff."
"Nah. You are mad."
"Mostly, I'm just . . ." He looked up at Brian who still stood by the door of the room. "I just don't understand. Is it because I screw up sometimes?"
"God! No!" He stepped closer to his brother. "Nah, man. Guthrie, you are a great kid. It . . ." He sighed and sat down in the chair at the desk. "It doesn't really have anything to do with you. I mean it does because it hurts you and everything, but it is just . . ." He sighed again. "I don't always manage my feelings very well."
"Yeah, that I understand."
"I know you do." He moved to sit beside Guthrie on the bed. "Adam and me, we talk a lot about heritage - you know, so you boys remember Mom and Dad. We want you to have strong ties to your past and sometimes I think we forgot that we are part of your past, too." He paused thoughtfully. "And Guth, this part isn't something I want you repeating. You have to learn how to cope with things that make you feel bad. You can't run off and you can't get drunk."
"You gonna lecture me?" Guthrie said, but there was no heat behind it.
"Yeah. I am." He nodded his head. "I might be a drunk, but I'm still responsible for making sure you grow up to be the kind of man that Daddy and Mama would be proud of."
"Well, maybe you should look in the mirror when you say that." Guthrie said, but it came out gently, like a wish.
"I'm working on it, brother."