"Last time on the Ridonculous Race: Lady Luck, or lack thereof really, took us all the way to Vegas baby! The Goths made some magic happen and just barely managed to snatch first place away from the Reality TV Pros. Devin on the other hand finally realized that he's in love with his best friend Carrie, took the idiot long enough. Too bad for him, this was after he accidentally fed her to a pack of lions tiger with some serious brain damage, which made Carrie decide that she was all done with loving Devin. They still ended up coming in last but when they found out it was a non elimination round, well Carrie could've knocked Devin out with a punch to the face, which she did. Who will get knocked out this week? Let's find out right here and right now, because the time has come for more of… the Ridonculous Race!"
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Like always, Don stood next to the Chill Zone from the day before, now equipped with a Don Box for the bus ahead "We're back in sunny Nevada and ironically still being crushed under the shadows of Las Vegas, where the just as shadowy Goths are preparing to receive the first tip of the day."
Sure enough, Crimson picked up the tip from the Don Box and read it out loud "It's time to go to Mexico, ole."
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"I think she means, OLE! Yeah you'd better believe there's a great deal to get excited about in beautiful Mexico, where the salsa is just as hot as the sun if not even hotter. Our 7 remaining teams must take a form of local transit known as the Chicken Bus all the way to our next destination in the form of the beautiful cliffs of Acapulco for their next challenge. Man this race is gonna be muy caliente."
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Jen received the tip from the Don Box and looked over to the Chicken Bus "Okay that thing is a crime against man made transportation."
"Just remember our goals for why we're here." Tom assured her "It's for the blog, and it's for the million dollars."
"And yet I can't help but wonder if it's worth it."
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"Whoo hoo!" Owen hurled his shirt around in the air like he was Muscle Man from Regular Show, much to the horror "We're going to Mexico, chimichangas and hot peppers stay where you are cause Daddy's coming home!"
"...And add this to the list of reasons why Adam has saved my life." Noah pulled out a gas mask and strapped it on.
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Josee on the other hand was growing more and more insane "From now on we're done underestimating the competition, those Gothic vampires got lucky in Indonesia and in Las Vegas but their luck is about to run out."
"But they're not stupid, they might see through any plans you come up with." Jacques pointed out.
"I told you not to interrupt me!"
"So what am I supposed to do then, just stand here like a mannequin and be the pretty one?"
"Of course not, you're supposed to stand there like a mannequin and SUPPORT the pretty one you imbecile!"
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"Devin and Carrie are the last team to hit the Don Box, they've got some serious ground that they'll have to cover if they want to dig their way out of last place."
Devin collected the tip from the Don Box "Looks like we're heading to Mexico, hey that was on your top five list of places right?"
Carrie blinked "Yeah it was a while ago, I'm kind of surprised that you remember." she snatched the tip and ran off.
"How could I not remember? You're one of my best friends, you're everything to me. Okay so has anyone noticed that Carrie is like 5 million % amazing in every sense of the word? I've been too caught up with that Shelley stuff and the race and some stuff with my friend Adam to notice any of that, but now I can't stop thinking about her and I'm smiling so much that I think my cheeks are starting to bleed.' a little bit of blood poured out of his mouth "Ow…"
"Devin you coming?"
"Be there in a second!"
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"All 7 teams are now on the Chicken Bus and are heading to Acapulco, which is unfortunately a 12 hour bus ride."
Jen was both surprised and somewhat horrified by what Carrie was telling her "So that's it, you're just giving up on him like that?"
Carrie gave a sad nod "Yeah, looking back maybe I should've done so sooner and then I wouldn't have wasted so many years trying to get him to notice me and nothing. It was all for nothing."
"Was it though? I mean-"
"CHICKENS!" Geoff started running around the bus like a maniac until he finally planted himself in DJ's lap "Chickens everywhere!"
"...And just like that this conversation is over, now if you'll excuse me I have to worry about dealing with the chicken droppings all over the place."
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Geoff was still losing his shit "No wonder Tyler was always so terrified of chickens, one of them tried to peck my eyes out!"
"Oh come on, these little guys are harmless." DJ knelt down and patted one of the chickens on the head, only for it and several others to attack the two of them.
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Owen on the other hand was preparing to gorge himself on a very greasy mexican buffet "Oh yeah baby, burritos and chimichangas come to papa!" and he started gorging himself, much to the disgust of everyone watching, with Noah just calmly reading a book while still wearing a gas mask.
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At the same time, Devin was trying and failing to make a move on Carrie "You know you could sit on my knee if you're not still mad about the whole thing with the tigers."
"I'm not mad really, it's okay." Carrie told him "But either way I'll find my own seat, it's fine really."
"Oh yeah totally cool but if you change your mind then me and my knees will be right here halfway down my legs and that's where I like to keep them and someone please slap me so that I stop talking."
"If you say so." Kevin promptly backhanded Devin across the face.
"Thank you."
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By this point Owen had already eaten all of the burritos and chimichangas and he let out a loud satisfied burp "It's official, bus station food is one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten along with every other food I've ever eaten."
"I have no doubt of that." Noah's tone was oozing sarcasm.
"But this is my last one. Oh the heck with it!" Owen proceeded to down the entire burrito in one bite.
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Josee looked back at Owen downing the burrito and smirked "That's one pair of pathetic weaklings down, give some cheese to a rat and he's like puddy in your hand."
"But what about the Goths?" asked Jacques "What are you going to do, turn them against each other?"
"No that won't work, they're stuck together like glue. Plus like you said they're smart, they'd see right through it."
"Maybe goths just don't have any weaknesses."
"Don't be ridiculous Jacques, everyone has a weakness." she watched as Loki poked his head out of Ennui's shirt and climbed down onto his lap "Weakness!"
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"After being stuck on a bus with hundreds of extremely violent chickens for 18 hours, our final 7 teams have arrived at the beautiful cliffs of Acapulco and now they're all revved up and ready to rumble. Some worse off than others."
"Great gobs of chudney where's el bano?!" Owen made a beeline for the bushes and let out a massive fart that left a crack in the cliffs, with the others trying not to suffocate as they made a beeline for the Don Box.
Josee on the other hand was trying to butter up the Goths so that she could enact her plan to get rid of them "So do you like, uh… stuff?"
"Not particularly no, stuff is so mainstream." Ennui told her flatly.
"Oh, oh gee whiz you're way too funny!"
"Didn't I tell you back in Australia not to pretend to be friendly because it's sickening? I guess you don't know when to quit."
"...Oh no look out, I have tripped and now I am falling." she pretended to trip and feel backwards on top of Ennui.
"Ouch."
"Oh I am so sorry, here let me help you up." she helped him up and grabbed a certain something from within his shirt and stuck it in her pocket "Who knew you could knock someone over when they're wearing such big chunky boots?"
"This coming from the one who wears a japanese style mini skirt made of polyester so that she looks like she's flashing other people?"
"...And just like that this conversation is over." and she walked off angrily.
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Ennui pulled out a pair of red visored shades and checked off a few things on a notepad "Insult female Ice Dancer for pretending to be friendly just to sabotage other teams. Check. Let her steal away Loki when she tripped and fell on me so that she would get mauled. Check. Pick up Loki later on after we arrive at the Chill Zone. Still pending."
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"Nothing underneath my sleeve, but look at what I have HERE!" Josee reached behind Jacques' ear and pulled out Loki, only for her to start mauling him.
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"Come on let's move it already!" the Artists, Best Friends, Bromigos and Fashion Bloggers all made a beeline for the Don Box and quickly collected their tips "It's an All In, who loves peppers and who loves dip?"
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"For this All In, one member from each of the 7 teams must eat one hot pepper from this food cart and once eaten they'll have to wave the flag with the corresponding color. That will be the signal for the second team team member must make like an Acapulco cliff diver and dive off of the cliff. Eat the hottest red pepper and your partner will get to jump from the lowest ledge, eat the mid range green pepper and your partner will get to jump from the middle ledge, but if they eat the mildest yellow pepper and your partner is basically going to be jumping from the space station. The team members jumping from the cliffs will then find their next tips attached to canteens anchored along the bottom of the bay. The canteens are filled with just enough cold milk to soothe the burning mouth of the teammate who ate the pepper."
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Gwen looked over at Kevin "So how exactly do you feel about spicy foods?"
"What are you kidding?" Kevin let out a loud snort "I live in a family of herbivores, I'll take this shit wherever and whenever I can. Besides I've followed the same training regimen that Adam has undergone, my stomach is like iron."
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Jen looked over at Tom "Looks like it's another eating challenge, you at the stew in Morocco so this one is my turn. Plus neither one of us do very well with heights so…"
"Expect the middle one, gotcha." Tom handed her his glasses "Wish me luck."
Geoff on the other hand let out a loud belch "Just made some room so I'm gonna go ahead and eat the pepper, DJ my bro this means you're up."
"...Wingman duty all over again, gotcha." and so DJ started to make his way to the cliff.
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Owen was gripping his stomach in pain "Oh man I'm gonna need a new pair of shorts. And a new pair of underwear." he let out a loud belch "Oh look at that I just made some room in the old tank."
"And there's the fact that depriving you of food does more harm than good in the long run so yeah, I'm gonna jump." and so Noah bolted off.
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Devin took the chance to make another attempt to impress Carrie "Don't worry homie, I'll jump off the cliff."
"You're afraid of heights, why would you volunteer for that?" asked Carrie.
"I don't know, just trying to take a few cues from Adam's book of chivalry and maybe show you that I can."
"I'm not scared of something like that, I'll jump. You go ahead and eat the pepper." and so she took off.
"I will Carrie and don't worry, I'll eat the hottest pepper they've got!"
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Carrie looked out at the beach from the cliff and let out a sigh "You know if Devin had been that sweet to me two days ago then I would've let myself believe that it meant something but now I know better, man it feels good to be free of that. It didn't mean anything right?"
"That's up to everyone around you rather than you." that was when Ennui showed up, climbing his way up the ladder "Do you mind? You're blocking the ladder."
"Oh sorry. But did it mean anything?"
"He's your partner, that's for you to decide."
"I never knew you could be so, well… social and talkative."
"Only to those we respect, and you and Devin are survivors."
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"As the last of the teams arrive, the other teams have started to dig in."
Devin picked up one of the red peppers and cringed "Oh boy…"
"Come on Devin, you can do it!" Carrie started cheering for him.
'Yeah you got this Devin, you've gotta do it for the girl you love.' so Devin just touched the pepper to his tongue but that was all it took to literally light his tongue on fire, causing him to scream in pain.
"What's going on, Devin are you okay?"
He wasn't, he was screaming his head off underwater.
"Oh yeah you're a real knight in shining armor." Kevin pulled Devin's head back up "Some people just can't handle the heat."
"I can… I can do it… Thith ith nothing, I've totally got thith."
"Devin don't worry about it!" Carrie called out to him "I'll climb up a level, just go ahead and eat the green pepper instead okay?"
"Oh thank god…"
"Yeah cause that makes you look like a real life Hercules." Kevin yanked him out of the water and picked up a handful of hot peppers, and he stuck them in his mouth "Huh. Not bad." he either didn't notice or didn't care about the smoke coming out of his ears and just waved the red flag "Alright Pasty you're good to go." he looked down at Devin "If it's any consolation I bet you'd be doing better than Cody."
"Thankth… I think…"
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Gwen looked down at Devin licking at the water like a dog "Yep it's official, poor guy is insanely whipped." and so she dove down into the water.
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Jacques looked around at a few of the peppers, along with Geoff, Owen, Jen and Crimson "There's no way the hottest one can be that bad right?"
"PAIN!" Devin was still rinsing out his mouth like a dog "FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WORLD MAKE IT STOP, I'M BEGGING YOU!"
"...Yeah okay medium it is, and let that be another reason why the bravest decision is usually the dumbest one."
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"As the Artists literally jump into the lead, the Goths, Bromigos Fashion Bloggers, Ice Dancers and Reality TV Pros are trying to catch up and Devin has finally recovered from the heat just enough to try a medium green pepper."
"Okay, here goes attempt number two. You can do this man, for Carrie." so Devin proceeded to bite down on the medium pepper, only to end up crying from the pain.
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Carrie nervously looked down at the bay below "Okay this doesn't look so bad, Olympic divers do it all the time in the Olympics. I mean sure they train first so they don't die while they're doing it but still…" her muttering was drowned out by Devin screaming "Devin? Jen how is he, is he okay?"
"Take my advice girlfriend, you might wanna start climbing." Jen prepared to pop a medium pepper in her mouth, only to pause at the sound of Owen screaming as a result of eating the entire bin of red peppers "Well at least I didn't choose that." and so she downed it and started literally breathing fire.
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Tom cringed "Well that could've ended better, hey Carrie do you want me to stay here with you until he manages to get one down?"
"No you go ahead, I'll be fine on my own." Carrie assured him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah really."
"Well if you say so, but one word of advice. True love never dies, don't try to fool yourself into believing that you're over someone when you're really not." and so he jumped down into the bay below, leaving Carrie to ponder what he said.
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Devin on the other hand was recovering enough to take another shot at eating a middle green pepper "This… is… nothing… I… can… do this… for Carrie…" he forced it into his mouth but suddenly spat it out and began screaming in pure agony.
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"Devin it's okay, just eat the mild yellow pepper!" Carrie let out a heavy sigh and looked at the ladder "Looks like I've got a long way to go."
DJ observed this and looked down at the beach "Hey Geoff go ahead and eat the mild yellow one, there's something that I wanna check on!" he looked towards the camera "Don't get me wrong, I'm not pumped about jumping from that high up but Carrie and Devin are my friends and she shouldn't have to go through that alone." and so he followed Carrie up the ladder.
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Jacques downed the green middle pepper and started cursing in French "Oh please Josee for the love of the Mona Lisa just jump!"
Crimson on the other hand downed the red pepper in one bite "Ow." and so she waved the red flag.
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Seeing this, Ennui reached into his shirt and pulled out a burrito, and he just started eating it 'It shouldn't be long now until Loki snaps and rips them limb from limb.' and then he dove into the bay.
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Kevin snatched the canteen of milk from a soaking wet Gwen and gulped down every last drop of milk "Oh thank the great god above finally."
"I thought you said spice foods didn't bother you." Gwen pointed out.
"They don't, I just get super dehydrated and it's hot as f*ck out here. So what's the tip say for the next challenge?"
"It's an All In with a crappy name called Burro-ed Alive."
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"For this All In with a really cool name so Gwen doesn't know what she's talking about, each team must take two burros from an enclosure that's provided and then ride them two miles South to reach the Mayan temple, which happens to be today's Chill Zone. The last team to arrive may end up like the Mayans who onced lived here, not on television."
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"BOOYAKASHA! Artists for the win any day and every day!" Kevin and Gwen took off for the enclosure with renewed spirit and determination.
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At the same time, Carrie was with DJ on the highest level "You're here too? I thought Geoff was fine with eating the middle pepper, and besides aren't you afraid of heights like Devin is?"
"You mean because I didn't jump off the cliff back at Wawanakwa?" DJ let out a chuckle and a small nostalgic smile "And I'm not so much afraid of heights as I am of falling, pushing other people over on the other hand is another story."
"You mean like you did with Owen?"
"Yeah we both got WAY too into that challenge." this earned a giggle from Carrie.
"Well it might take Devin awhile to eat a pepper so we can hang out until then if you want."
"Sure why not, sounds way more fun than jumping to my death from a place even higher than the plane during World Tour."
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Ennui made his way out of the bay and held out the canteen to Crimson "Here."
"Thanks." she downed it fairly quickly "So how goes the plan?"
"Loki's plan is about to take action."
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Owen on the other hand heard his stomach rumbling "Oh god el stomacho is shifting like it's Coachella and Disneyland rolled into one!"
"Alright alright, cool your jets for a second chubby buddy." Noah handed him the canteen of milk as he started reading the tip.
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Geoff downed one of the mild yellow peppers and coughed up some fire, but he quickly recovered and waved the flag "Do for it bro!"
"PAIN!" Devin started waving the flag around like a maniac "CARRIE! JUMP! I feel… kind of… funny…" and then he keeled over.
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DJ blinked and looked over at Carrie "Well we've gotta do it sometime, what do you say we do this together?"
"Yeah sure, we might as well." Carrie gently took his hand "Ready, okay let's go on 3. 1… 2… 3!" and they jumped, screams sounding through the air, coming from DJ.
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"All clear!" Jacques waved a green flag, which prompted Josee to gracefully dive into the bay and come back up with a canteen and a tip "Oh bravo Josee, you are perfection."
"Of course I am, who do you think-" she was cut off by DJ and Carrie landing on top of her, resulting in a mighty splash.
Devin noticed this from afar "Wait wait a thecond, wath Carrie holding handth with DJ?! What the hell?!" he rubbed his eyes and started screaming in pain "MY EYETH!"
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Carrie blinked "What do you mean holding hands? I was just helping DJ jump, what's the big deal?"
"Oh of courth you were." Devin let out a loud scoff, his eyes swelled shut "It'th jutht like you to be tho helpful, thometimeth too helpful, but for now we thould really focuth on the million okay?"
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"Booyah to the Kasha mother f*ckers!" Kevin and Gwen held a sizeable lead over the other six teams "Oh hell to the yeah, faster big guy move it!"
"It's not a cheetah you idiot, it's a burro." Gwen pointed out dryly.
"I know that but for all we know these things might be dumber than Lindsay so we could manipulate them to our advantage. You've just gotta instill some confidence into it."
"What are you on crack, there's no way that's gonna-"
"Yeehaw!" Kevin's burro suddenly shot forward at full speed.
"...And just like that
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Geoff and DJ were making their way along the path on top of their burros "Man it's so hot out here, you'd think they'd give us a lemonade stand or something like that."
"Lemonade huh?" DJ let out a sigh "I'd kill for some of momma's homemade lemonade right about now."
"You haven't talked about her like at all in the race, everything okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine, it's just that since Cody gave me some of his prize money I bought her a brand new house and now everything is awesome so I don't need to worry about her as much as I did before."
"Huh. Good for you bro."
"Toodles morons!" Josee and Jacques bolted past them on top of their burros.
"What the- How did they-"
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"You can thank the skater quads for that." explained Josee "These bad boys are excellent for horseback riding, a strong insistent squeeze to the thigh tells those fleabags to hurry the bloody hell up!"
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"It's only a matter of time before Loki destroys her for her actions." Ennui looked back and noticed Devin struggling due to his inability to see "He's in pain."
"You seem so invested in the Besties, it's written all over your face." Crimson noted.
"They're survivors like us, they may lack darkness but they do have honor, and I respect that about them. Besides, I feel a sort of kinship."
"Fine, then I do too. You gonna do it?"
"Yeah, go on without me and wait for Loki to rendezvous with you after the deed is done. I'll catch up."
"Fine, later." and so Crimson took off on one of the burros "Hee-haw."
With that in mind, Ennui made his way over to Carrie "Hey, need help?"
Carrie cringed "Well see the thing is, Devin can't see."
"Attempting to prove he's manly, it's gross."
"It'th not groth!" Devin on the other hand was riding a rock that he thought was a burro "I jutht got thome pepper juith in my eyeth, but I'm all good now! Giddy up!"
"...I think he's severely confused."
"No, he's just an idiot who's reeks of desperation. It's kind of cool." Ennui strapped Devin down onto the back of one of the burros and tied him on "There."
"Oh, well thanks Ennui."
"You're survivors, I feel a kinship. Let's just go before the Pros catch up."
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By this point Owen was crawling his way out of the bushes with an empty roll of toilet paper in his hand "Noah… little buddy… pain… it's on fire… Mexico betrayed me… I can't go on… Go and save yourself…"
"Alright enough of that crap." Noah pimp slapped Owen across his chest "Listen and listen good chubby buddy, we started this race together and we're gonna finish it together. DJ once said a while back that Geoff had to be your hero, well now you've gotta be that for me." he held out his hand "Let's finish this together, if we go out then we go out in style."
"Noah…" Owen accepted the hand and started tearing up "That was SO BEAUTIFUL!" he pulled Noah into a bone crushing bear hug.
"And there goes my spine."
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Another team wasa currently experiencing a form of road blockage.
Kevin was in the middle of a very one sided argument with his burro "Get the f*ck up you Winnie the Pooh reject, it's a bridge for crying out loud! This isn't Dora the Explorer, I'm not gonna give some bullshit magic word to make you cross. Oh is that how you wanna play it then fine, it's taser time."
"Wait a second, where the hell did you get a taser?" asked Gwen "And more importantly how the hell did you get that thing through customs?!"
"I highly doubt you'd want an answer to that." he looked over to see the burro sleeping "Oh for f*ck's sake!"
"Back it up Da Vinci rejects!" Josee and Jacques bolted past them on their burrows, with the former giving them what was not a thumbs up "See you at the finish, or not!"
"Oh that bitch is going down." Gwen dealt him a high five without even looking at him.
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Josee suddenly stopped on the other side of the bridge "Hold on a minute Jacques, the stupid goth bunny is trying to squirm its way free and-" she was cut off when Loki suddenly burst out of her unitard and snarled at the burrows, which prompted them to throw Josee and Jacques off and run away, with Loki scampering off towards the Chill Zone.
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Don was waiting at the Chill Zone when he noticed Loki starting to sunbathe against a rock while wearing a pair of shades "Well he gets points for swagger."
"Until the Goths realize that it would ruin the whole goth thing." that was when Gwen showed up on her own burro "Hey Don, how's it going?"
"Okay I guess, although I can't help but notice that you're shy one loud, aggressive and potentially crack addicted partner."
"Yeah well I got tired of dealing with some annoying brain dead jackass, so I left him to deal with the burro."
"Oh. Huh."
"HEY!" that was when Josee and Jacques, the former being increasingly pissed off, stormed up to the carpet "There's only one of those rejects, the gold belongs to me!"
"Actually it doesn't, what does belong to you is a 30 minute penalty."
"What?! Why?!"
"Well two things. First of all, the two of you were supposed to arrive here on burrows not by foot. Second of all, you intentionally sabotaged two other teams!"
"What?! You don't have any proof of that!"
"You're on live reality TV, your every move is being watched by cameras. You can't even blink without us noticing."
"We didn't take the Goths' bunny and just because I gave burritos doused in laxatives to the Reality TV Pros doesn't mean that's sabotaging!"
"Well that's interesting, I never mentioned the Goths' bunny that happens to be sunbathing over there." he pointed to where Loki was sunbathing nearby "And for the record he also showed me the wrapper for a laxative does candy bar with your nail polish all over it. Plus I happened to be a member of the Toronto Sherlock Holmies association. But enough bragging about myself and referencing the Suite Life on Deck, 30 minute penalty and that's final."
"No!"
"Yes!" Gwen looked back "Kevin hurry up, you've got 30 minutes or we're gonna lose the lead to the Heather on ice skates!"
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Kevin looked up at the gigantic digital clock hovering over his head "So I've got 30 minutes then do I?" he looked down at his sleeping burro and ripped off his shirt and started beating on his chest like he was a blonde version of Tarzan.
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24 minutes and 10 seconds remained on the penalty timer.
Josee was growing increasingly impatient "Our 30 minutes has to be up by now!"
"Well believe it or not it isn't-" Don looked over and his eyes bulged "Oh. Wow."
Yeah it turns out Kevin was piggybacking the burrow instead of the other way around, and he wasn't even breathing hard "Push ups, sit ups and plenty of juice. Learn it, live it and love it bitches." he set the burrow down on the Carpet of Completion "Yeah that be how we do, Artists for the win mother f*ckers!"
"Profanities aside congratulations Artists, the two of you are in first place."
"Yeah!" Kevin dealt Gwen a swift high five "Take that you ice skating freaks, victory can be so damn sweet." he let out a belch "And kind of spicy, dammit now I want Doritos."
"Don't we all." Don quickly counted off Geoff and DJ as they arrived "Bromigos you're in second place."
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"You know the best part about winning?" Gwen gave a smirk "It means that the Ice Dancers lose."
"You're damn right." Kevin started munching on some Doritos "Want some?"
"Cool Ranch?"
"Yep."
"...Alright, fork it over."
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"As more and more teams start to near the Chill Zone, the Fashion Bloggers and Reality TV Pros are trailing far behind in a desperate attempt to catch up."
Don was surprised to see Crimson arrive at the Chill Zone on her own "Crimson what the, where's Ennui?"
"Helping out fellow survivors." was all Crimson said.
"So you let him help another team stay in the race and potentially win the million instead of you?"
"Yep."
"...Just checking."
That was when Ennui showed up with Carrie and Devin and their burros "And that's why I became a goth."
Carrie blinked "Wow, I'm sorry about your dad."
"Oh don't even get me started again. Really it's my uncle's fault, pissing and moaning that he didn't have what my father did. And didn't he just ramble on, no wonder he was planted into a dumbass tree."
"...I'm not sure how to respond to that."
"You say that like any normal person could respond to that." Don cut into the conversation "And for the record you guys are on a TV show. Crimson and Ennui, Carrie and Devin you guys are tied for third ." this was met with a squeal from Carrie.
"Alright, we did it!"
"Yay…" Devin slowly lifted his head "Carrie, it's… I have to… you need to…"
"Devin, we really need to get you seen by the doctor. I'll be back soon okay? Just hang in there for now." and she left.
"...Okay."
"Putting that aside." Don took this chance to count off Tom and Jen as they arrived "Fashion Bloggers, the team actually in an alliance with the Best Friends but were nowhere to be seen with them in this challenge, you're in 5th place!"
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"Okay I'd just like to point something out." Jen held up a hand to the camera "I said back in Hawaii that I could tell when love was in the air and Devin has been oozing the stuff ever since Indonesia, we've just been respecting his wishes and letting him sort himself out like good friends should."
Tom nodded "That and we've been collecting new materials for our blog, sombreros are gonna happen thanks to yours truly."
"Damn right." they high fived.
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Carrie let out a sigh "I spoke with the doctor but he said that it could be at least a day or more before Devin will be able to see clearly."
"That'th okay, it'th heightened all of my other thentheth. Check thith out." Devin swatted at a nearby butterfly, only to face plant into the ground "Ow…"
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"Only about 5 minutes remain in the Ice Dancers' penalty and there's only one other team left that still has to reach the Chill Zone."
Noah and Owen were bolting across the path to the Chill Zone "Come on come on, dammit at this race we're never gonna make it!"
"You don't have to worry about that little buddy, I've got us covered! All of the chimichangas and burritos and peppers have been building up for the Thundercracker to end all Thundercrackers!" Owen's stomach started rumbling, much to Noah's horror.
"Oh no, no no no no no! Just… no."
"I'm just as unhappy about this as you are but if you wanna win it for Emma then we don't have a choice! Now are you with me or not?!"
"...Light this candle and crack that thunder."
"Sir yes sir!" and with a thunderous roar, Owen unleashed an earth shattering fart that launched him, Noah and their burros high into the air, turning the sand beneath them to glass as they rocketed out of sight.
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Don was still waiting with the Ice Dancers "Only 20 seconds to go until the Ice Dancer's penalty is up and the Reality TV Pros are still nowhere in sight. It all comes down to this, which team will be able to beat the Mexican heat?" he paused and sniffed the air "Is that them?"
"THUNDERCRACKER INCOMING!" sure enough, Owen and Noah burst down towards the ground like a meteor, hitting the ground with a massive crash that left a cartoon style mushroom cloud explosion. When the smoke cleared, the two of them had crashed in a heap… a mere few feet away from the Chill Zone.
"So close and so awesome yet still coming up short." Don made the call just as the Ice Dancers slipped onto the carpet "Your penalty has expired, Ice Dancers you're in sixth." this was met with cheering from Jacques and snarling from Josee.
"Ow…"
"Reality TV Pros, you raced hard and well and make a very thunderous last stand. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're out of the race."
"Okay… Can we just get a few minutes?"
"Oh yeah take your time." Don took this chance to sign off "Do you want to find out who's gonna get sent home next? The only way to find out is for you to keep watching… the Ridonculous Race!"
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Owen let out a sigh as he and Noah walked their way down the beach "You know as far as reality shows go, that got about as real as reality shows can get."
Noah nodded "Yeah tell me about it, before it started I didn't have a girlfriend or some kickass sword that I got from Adam and now I have both so this is definitely in my top 5."
"Sorry I blew it in the end though."
"What are you kidding? You rocked it, I'm proud of you big guy and now I have a newfound respect for your stomach."
"Thanks little buddy, and you know the million would've been nice but money isn't everything and I already won a million."
"You mean you won a hundred thousand but blew it for a chance at a million that you ended up losing to Duncan."
"Yeah. Oh."
"Yeah. Plus I'm dating a lawyer now so I'll never have to work again."
"Oh I'm sure Emma's gonna love to hear that, she is watching this you know."
"...Oh crap."
"So what reality show should we do next?"
"Oh didn't I tell you? We were asked to do the next season of-" he was cut off as the screen went to static.
A/N:
This was a chapter that I had honestly been dreading ever since I did the Finland chapter for the first time, since getting rid of the Goths so early meant that I would have to create an entirely new plot, but now that I've written that plot point out I got to keep them in.
So with this chapter, the Reality TV Pros are out of the race. I figured that by this point they had outlived their usefulness in this story, and the Noah lovers would be satisfied, so I decided that this was the best place to cut them. Besides, I wasn't ready to get rid of any of the other teams just yet. The whole thing about the burritos being given to them by the Ice Dancers (mainly Josee) was something from this one Ridonculous Race fic that I glanced at awhile back, but this time it was part of a double whammy in getting rid of either them or the Goths, and Josee's plan partially succeeded, but at the cost of them getting a double penalty: 10 minutes for losing the burros and 20 minutes for screwing over another team, or at least trying to.
Owen's last stand (the fart) was filled with references to Total Drama World Tour episodes 17 and 19, Sweden Sour and Niagara Brawls. I thought that was a good way to close out this chapter.
Also, did anyone catch the Team Four Star references in this chapter?
In order to emphasize that the Goths are not getting eliminated, I thought it would be really funny if they planned for the Ice Dancers to try and steal Loki in order to screw with Josee.
I gave the Ryan and Carrie scenes to Carrie and DJ instead because they already know each other from Total Drama and DJ is just one of those characters you can't help but love. I also added in the scenes with the Best Friends and the Goths for two reasons: Firstly, it's a reference to their interactions in the canon version of Lord of the Ring Toss (episode 17). Second, it's meant to foreshadow a plan that I have for the two teams in the next few chapters.
Rankings:
Artists: 1st
Bromigos: 2nd
Goths: tied for 3rd
Best Friends: tied for 3rdh
Fashion Bloggers: 5th
Ice Dancers: 6th
Elimination:
Reality TV Pros: 7th
Sisters: 8th
Rockers: 9th
Father & Son: 10th
Stepbrothers: 11th
Adversity Twins: 12th
Mother & Daughter: 13th
Ultimate Duo: 14th
Vegans: 15th
Geniuses: 16th
Tennis Rivals: 17th
LARPers: 18th