"Don't let us forget that the causes of human actions are usually immeasurably more complex and varied than our subsequent explanations of them."

"I need to talk to Max and Ibe," Ash insisted. His side stung. He gritted his teeth. He didn't want Yut-Lung to see that he was in pain, and he didn't even want to focus on it himself. He needed a clear head, not muddled by medicine. Eiji was in danger.

"They don't like me," said Yut-Lung.

"I don't like you," Ash said pointedly.

Yut-Lung screwed up his face. The sun rose mauve and rose gold behind the windows.

"Look, they're not going to come back here and kill you and your servants. They're not like you."

Yut-Lung's nostrils flared. He stomped over to Ash and tossed his phone at him. Ash winced as he caught it. "Call them, then. And tell them if they bring anyone else I will—have them poisoned!"

Ash's jaw dropped. "Could you maybe chill for like three seconds?"

"I don't know; have you ever been able to?" Yut-Lung glared at him, hair falling onyx over amethyst eyes.

"I didn't grow up in a cushy house with luxurious—"

"Golzine wanted to adopt you, didn't he?" Yut-Lung shot back. "I'd call that pretty luxurious—"

The words slammed into Ash. He felt cold seeping into him from his stab wound. He's dead. He's dead. If only every part of him Golzine had touched were dead, too, because in some ways, he could still feel his touch crawling over his skin, still hear his voice in Ash's mind, and he wanted to vomit. "Fuck you."

Yut-Lung turned his face away. "Call your friends," he snapped. "My friend's life is at stake." He swept out of the room, hair swishing behind him.

Ash gulped, staring at the phone. He dialed Max's number.

"Ash!" bellowed Max. "We were so worried—we thought that they got you too—is it one of—"

So they do have Eiji. Ash wanted to throw the phone against a wall, scream. "I'm—they have Sing, too."

"Sing?" Max sounded incredulous.

"Is that Ash?" bellowed Jessica's voice in the background. "Shunichi!"

"Listen," Ash said. "I need you and Ibe, no one else—"

"Jessica will be pissed—"

"I'll be pissed at what?" Jessica yelled.

"—to come to this address." Ash gave him the address. "Quickly. I'm—it's Yut-Lung's place."

"Yut-Lung?" Max's voice darkened. "Is he involved? Again?" He swore.

"No," Ash said. "Well, he's involved—but not in terms of being behind it. I don't think. For once. I'll explain when you get here." He hung up, not wanting to answer any more questions.

"They're going to think I stabbed you," Yut-Lung remarked from the doorway, which he was leaning against.

His remark about Golzine still molded inside Ash, letting off rancid fumes. "They know you don't have the guts."

Yut-Lung's brows pinched together. "I saved your life last night, whereas you were just going to let it go, you—"

Now Ash really wanted to shoot him, take out his guts, and the thought terrified him. I haven't changed, I'm a monster, Eiji is better off without me, but he's in danger and I am just making it worse. "Shut—"

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Yut-Lung said, his voice hard. "Wanting to live, but wanting to die at the same time." He folded his arms.

"That's not what happened." Ash couldn't breathe. The pain in his side clenched him in a vice-grip.

"Isn't it? Lao stabbed you, and instead of running and screaming for help, you were just gonna die as opposed to risk ending back in prison. Die free, is it?" Yut-Lung's lips curved. "I guess you don't really care about Eiji, do you?"

"Fuck you!" Ash shouted. That wasn't true. That was such— "You're just projecting onto me again. I'm a little sick of it, in case you hadn't noticed!" I really thought Lao had—faked it—

But he hadn't. If Yut-Lung hadn't shown up…

I'm a failure. I'm a failure of a friend. Ash stared up at the ceiling, the backs of his eyes burning, but he wouldn't let himself cry.

"And it's your own fault you can't run in guns blazing and save him this time," Yut-Lung said, satisfaction slithering through his voice and winding around Ash. "Letting your guard down like that. Lao never had the strength to kill you otherwise. Tut, tut. I guess that Japanese boy really is your weakness even now, a ball and chain you'll have to drag around no matter what, because fate isn't going to be kind enough to let him fly out of your life—but then, if he did, you'd be dead or some kind of demon, we both know that—"

Ash hurled Yut-Lung's phone at him. It struck Yut-Lung in the forehead. Yut-Lung made no sound, turning his head to the side as if it'd slapped him. The phone clattered to the floor.

"Eiji is not weak," Ash managed to choke out.

"Yut-Lung, sir?" called one of the guards. "Two men are at the doorstep, asking for Ash—"

"Let them in here," said Yut-Lung. "No, you can't have a private moment with them. I'm involved in this too." Bitterness stung his tone. He bent over to grasp his phone, rubbing his forehead.

"Not with them. You let your men rape Max's wife in front of his son. Her name's Jessica."

Yut-Lung froze. "That's the first I've heard of that."

"Well, it's true. I killed him, don't worry. Golzine's mansion."

"That was one of my brother's men, then."

"Acting on your orders!"

Yut-Lung's chest heaved. "Acting on my brother's, too, so—"

"Oh, shut up. Grow up and take some responsibility—"

"Maybe you should," Yut-Lung snapped. "You have so many people who care about you. Why would you still want to die and abandon them? Don't you give a damn about how they'd feel?"

"Since when do you care about what others—" Ash knew Yut-Lung was just rubbing salt on his stab wound, but he still wanted to throw it back at him. It felt like it was going to consume him like acid.

The door opened. Max and Ibe rushed in. Both of them stopped still when they saw Ash hooked up to an IV.

"He got himself stabbed yesterday," said Yut-Lung, voice as hard and fragile as ice. "By Lao. You know. Sing's brother. And he was content to just let himself bleed out."

You fucking—tattletale! Ash pushed himself up. His side felt as if the acid now exploded inside, stinging his entire abdominal cavity. He grimaced, nausea surging through him.

"Sit back!" Max grabbed Ash's shoulders, pushing him back.

"Eiji—" Ash managed. "He—I thought—"

"Fortunately, I happened to be looking for him after getting these notes." Yut-Lung held up the stationary, showing them to Ibe.

"We wondered about Sing," Ibe said. "Eiji went off with him, and then they didn't come back, but his wheelchair was still there in the parking lot—"

Wheelchair. Ash gagged. Max rubbed his shoulder. My fault, my fault, my fault. Each breath was like rocks of guilt hitting him, stoning him to death, and he deserved it, deserved to be bloody and bruised and humiliated, to—

Max grasped his hands. "Did you really almost die yesterday?"

Ash shrugged. "It all happened quickly. I got the note, left, ran into Lao—then he showed up, and someone shot at us."

"We have too many enemies to know if it's someone with Lao, someone after him, after me, or these people." Yut-Lung held up the notes again, trying to sound important.

Max's gaze hardened, and so did his grip. Ash winced. The nausea settled. He drew in his breath.

"Don't you dare," Max said harshly. "Throw your life away."

"I can't," Ash said. "I'm going to—save Eiji."

"Save yourself, too," Max managed. "They're not mutually exclusive, Ash." His voice changed, and Ash suddenly remembered the ride to Jessica's back in LA, the way they yelled at each other.

Through saving Jessica, you're saving yourself.

But being with me is a danger for Eiji. Ash swallowed. It's not the same!

But the look in Max's eyes reminded him of the time he saw Jessica and Michael safe and alive in Los Angeles. Ash's stomach clenched.

No matter what he did, he would always feel guilt, wouldn't he?

His side felt like someone had dropped a boulder on it, splintering his ribs and scraping away every layer of flesh from the inside. His arm was twisted behind him, shoulder screaming from the weird angle. His head ached, fuzziness wrapping around his brain again and again, dulling his senses. Hearing was muffled, only darkness met his eyes, and he smelled nothing.

"Eiji?" The sound ripped through the air.

He blinked. He tried to move his arm.

"Hang on, I can untie your hands." Fingers groped behind Eiji's back.

"What's going—where—"

"I don't know." Sing's voice sounded bitter. He tugged at the roped Eiji just realized were cutting into his skin, scraping his wrists raw. "They're putting something in—the water. I think. I feel dizzy."

Eiji tried to move his head and instantly regretted it. He was slumped against some kind of wall, and there were no windows. The floor felt rough, like concrete, as if they were in a basement. "What happened?"

"I dunno. I thought you weren't gonna wake up—I thought—" Sing's voice caught.

"But Golzine is dead," Eiji croaked. "Right?"

"Yeah. I saw him off himself."

They were taking a walk—or really, Sing was pushing his wheelchair, since he still wasn't fully strong enough to walk. And then he remembered feeling sleepy. And he had a letter to give Sing for Ash. He reached into his pocket. Paper crinkled. So he still had it.

That meant—

Did Ash think he'd left, with no goodbye? Was he relieved? Sad? Worried? "How long have I been out?"

"No clue," Sing said. "You got really—your voice slurred, and then you kinda passed out, and I turned to yell for a nurse but someone slammed some kind of cloth over my mouth and then I woke up here. Chloroform, I think, 'cause my head hurts like a bitch. But they left us with tampered water bottles and some food, and I know it's been at least—hours. Probably a day or so."

Eiji gaped in horror. Not that Sing could see him.

"The water bottles are decent bathroom substitutes," Sing added.

Eiji cringed. "Yut-Lung—"

"This isn't his style," Sing interjected. "For real. This seems like—professional. And Golzine's dead, so it's not him. Plus Yut-Lung and I are getting along."

Eiji didn't know what to say. If Golzine and Foxx were dead, and Sing seemed convinced Yut-Lung wasn't involved, then who the hell would be holding them?

He shifted and immediately regretted it. Nausea surged. He moaned.

"Pain?" Sing asked.

"Yeah," Eiji panted.

Sing pressed a water bottle into his hand. "Sorry for the drugs in it."

Eiji grimaced. The liquid soothed his throat, but it tasted unnaturally sweet, with a bitter aftertaste lingering. Cough syrup?

Voices sounded outside. Sing's breath caught.

The voices came harsh, angry, in a language Eiji didn't recognize. "What—"

"That's no language I know," Sing hissed. "I—"

The door flung open. Light scalded Eiji's eyes. He yelped. Sing grasped his arm.

"Try to fight, and you die," said a heavily accented voice. Even with his eyes scrunched shut, Eiji recognized the sound of a gun cocking.

"What do you want?" Sing demanded, hand still squeezing Eiji's arm. "Who do you work for?"

Something crinkled. Eiji cracked his eyes open to see a man wearing a balaclava tossing a bag of fast food at him and Sing. It smelled like salt and grease. "We want your bosses. You two are most dear to two people who are most dear to someone we need."

"Say that again, but slower," Sing requested.

"Watch it." The man turned and left, door locking behind him. At least they had now realized that they were in some kind of small room with a sloped ceiling. If Eiji were to stand up, his head would probably brush it. Sing would be fine, though.

"So they're after Yut-Lung and Ash," Sing breathed.

"Why?"

But Golzine was dead. But Foxx was dead. But—but— Eiji gritted his teeth. The words he had written, the words still in his pocket—you can change your destiny—they're not a lie, they're not, I'm not your weakness!

"They're going to kill each other," whispered Sing. "Tear each other apart. Organ by organ. There's no way Ash won't believe Yut-Lung is involved because of you—and Yut-Lung will think Ash—" He moaned. "We're fucked. We're so fucked. They're—"

"I don't understand," Eiji managed. "Who are they? What are they talking about?"

"I don't know!" Sing cussed again, slamming his fist into either the wall or the floor. "We've gotta get out of here before they—"

"Do you think Yut-Lung will care?" Eiji asked.

"Huh?"

"I mean—" Eiji's face flushed. "Will he try to find you? Or will he replace you with Lao, or with—"

"You don't understand," Sing interrupted. "Yes. He'll try. He's more like Ash than like—Golzine or Arthur or one of those losers."

"Then we have to escape," Eiji said, setting his jaw.

"Eiji, you can't walk, and that stupid drink is—"

"I can," Eiji managed. "I can." Fear leapt up, sinking its teeth into his chest. No. Ash should be safe now. He had to be safe. He'd fought so hard.

Is it because of me?

No! He remembered looking into the hard look in Yut-Lung's eyes that day with the window open, Yut-Lung's voice saturated in satisfaction. No, it's not my fault, just like it was never your fault, Ash.

We're going to get out of here.

It's not a chore to save you, Ash. It's something I get to do. And I'll do it. Again and again.

"Are people showing up? Phoning? Sending another—" Max started.

God, this one was annoying. Yut-Lung had not forgotten that he'd thought Yut-Lung was a girl when he first arrived in Los Angeles. Not that he really minded, but there were other things, like the peculiar bubbling, boiling feeling of what might or might not be guilt rising inside Yut-Lung whenever he was around Max.

"We don't know," Ash managed. His voice sounds higher than normal, as if trying to levitate it over pain from surgery. Yut-Lung should probably give him the pain medication the doctor had given him. Except he doubted Ash would take it. He'd want to be fully alert because Eiji.

Still. Yut-Lung rolled his eyes and stalked out the room without a word, leaving Ash to two adults who actually cared about him. He hadn't forgotten Blanca leaving him.

Someone will love you.

Someone might. Sing, but now he was in danger. And Blanca was gone.

I wanted you to stay.

He thought of Natasha and felt something burning strike his chest. You can love. You just decided not to.

If you were here Sing wouldn't be in danger, you shithead.

Yut-Lung grabbed the bottle of pain medicine and stomped back towards Ash's room. He held out the bottle. "You're supposed to take one every six hours."

"No," said Ash.

Yut-Lung arched his eyebrows. "If you take it now, you'll be able to sleep before seven. Or else you'll be in so much pain you'll shake and vomit, which I'm sure will intimidate them into giving you Eiji back right then and there."

Ash looked as if he was about to strangle Yut-Lung with his IV.

"Ash," interrupted Max. "You know, he's right."

I am? Yut-Lung stiffened his features so they would not show his surprise.

Ash scowled.

"We can stay here," Ibe broke in. "We're just as—"

Oh, you can? Yut-Lung pressed his lips together.

"If they're coming here," said Ash. "Yut-Lung, will your guards be enough? They're not stupid enough to bring hostages, but in case—"

Yut-Lung waved his hand. "I'm sure my guards will be fine."

"Can you trust all of them?"

"If this is a ploy to get your gang to come over, then I'll—"

"So you don't trust them."

"One I trusted left and the other you threw a knife into, and he didn't make it." Yut-Lung inhaled, and then exhaled. "You'll be able to shoot if necessary if you just take your pain meds now instead of waiting."

"The—"

"Yut-Lung, sir?"

"What?" he snapped, whirling around. One of his newer bodyguards stood in the doorway, wringing his hands.

"A woman's here to see you."

Yut-Lung gaped. "I don't know any women."

Ash snorted. "Really wanna advertise that, do you?"

"Well, she says it's about Sing—"

Ash threw his blanket off, scrambling up.

"If you rip your stitches I am not calling the doctor back!" Yut-Lung screeched.

"—she says her name is Nadia Wong, sir, and—"

Ash froze. Yut-Lung felt as if the walls were closing around him. The inked arts, the gilded golden frames, the hung embroidered tapestries, all weaving together to create a prison.

"Will you kill me? I wonder what will happen to your sister, then."

"You're nothing but a venomous snake!"

"Nadia?" eked out Ash. "How is she—"

"I've never met her," Yut-Lung said stiffly. Now he was the one who felt like he wanted to shake and vomit.

"If you don't let her in, she will probably get her cop boyfriend to barge in," Ash said.

Yut-Lung's eyebrows swooped together. "She's dating a cop?"

"Uh-huh. Charlie Dickinson." Ash sat back down, breathing heavily. He finally grasped the pain medicine and twisted the cap off, popping one of the pills. "I helped him out with a case once."

Yut-Lung scowled. "So he wouldn't arrest you if he were to find you here?"

"I don't want to find out."

Yut-Lung bit his lip. The cops had always been in his brothers' pockets. From what he was guessing though, not this one. Still limited though, because if he was actually a good-hearted person, there was only so much he could do from within the law. Laws were after all, seldom made by people with good hearts. "Show her in."

He waited, trying to breathe. A small woman with a pixie cut and a pretty face rounded the corner. Her eyes bulged at the sight of Ash pale and sweaty. "Ash!"

Still? Yut-Lung wondered as he watched her rush to him. He and your brother were—he was involved—

You don't blame him. You never have.

But the Lee name carries sins I can't ever pull off.

"Lao said he's been—" Nadia looked wildly around the room. "Ibe, I heard Eiji—and Sing—he hasn't been to visit Lao in the hospital, and Lao's terrified and saying you're involved, but I know that isn't true, Ash, so I came here—"

"That's because Sing's missing, along with Eiji," said Yut-Lung. "Did someone tell you Ash was here, or—"

"No, I came here because Lao said he'd seen the Lee family person saying something about Sing, and that boy is like another little brother to me! And he was to Shorter as well." Nadia drew herself up to her full height, which was not much. "And if you hurt Sing, I swear I will—"

"I don't have Sing," Yut-Lung snapped. "And I wouldn't hurt him."

"I seem to recall a different tune a few weeks ago," snapped Ash.

My own sins are too much. But I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. Not now. Is now allowed?

He remembered Sing's voice in the hotel, shouting out a warning, the hot sting of the way it lashed him with the reality: Sing had chosen Eiji over him. Like he'd warned he would. But still.

I'll never be enough.

I just want to be enough to keep you alive, this time. Because you said you didn't hate me. Because you still saw worth in me, even when I was kneeling before you and told you that I don't have what it takes. "I want to help save him. You know that. I saved your life." Yut-Lung held his hands up, spreading his fingers apart. A lump grew in his throat.

It would never be enough, would it?

I thought you looked like Eiji, but I was wrong.

He'd always been like that. Deceiving. His brothers raised him with makeup, teaching him how to do things to make people trust him, how to poison, how to strike when no one was looking, when they were relaxed and open.

Of course, the first time in his life that he felt like he could actually relax, someone ripped Sing away.

He remembered Shorter grabbing that knife, holding it to Eiji's throat, the laughs erupting from his own throat as he realized just how stupidly loyal Shorter Wong was, just how dedicated to his friends he was, that he was just as weak as Ash was when it came to his loved ones.

You're the same, aren't you, Nadia?

Yut-Lung had been struck by admiration that someone was throwing his brothers' prestige back in their face.

I will destroy the Lees.

You have the blood of our father, that monster…

I want to be like you.

I don't care what it costs me. If my own life, than all the better. At least I'll be able to say I wasn't alone, that I loved someone.

He met Ash's eyes. "So do you think I'm in on this?" His voice sounded brittle even to his ears, fragile glass.

"No," Ash admitted, grumpily. "I don't."

Yut-Lung nodded. "Well, see, Miss Wong? At the very least, you won't lose this brother, not if I can help it."

He turned and stormed out of the room, but not before he heard Ibe suck in his breath, Ash cuss, and Max look at him with what seemed like almost pity in his eyes.