If you want to overcome the whole world, overcome yourself.

"How are you feeling?" Ash watched as Ibe sat up. The room was darkened, curtains over a dusky sky, a threadbare blanket over Ibe. Max said he was going ot be okay, but Ash had to check.

"Anything on Ei-chan?" Ibe asked, not a comment about himself.

"I'll take that as an 'okay.'" Ash hesitated. Nothing's okay. No, it is, Ibe counts, how can I think that, fuck me. "We have some leads, but—" He was close to panicking himself. He could feel it, pecking at him from the inside, biting, breaking apart his bones a splinter at a time. If they hurt Eiji… and he was still recovering… couldn't walk properly, even.

The only thing he had to cling to was Ibe's words. You saved him.

Please, then, God: let me save him one more time.

"Ash," interrupted Alex's voice. He stuck his head into the doorway. "Where's that Chinese kid?"

"Yut-Lung?" Ash frowned. "Isn't he with Blanca or Max?"

"No," said Alex.

"He's always too quiet," Ash said, but he knew from the look on Alxe's face that that wasn't what was going on here, not at all.

"I swear to God, Ash, if he's a mole—"

"You mean you can't fucking find him?" Ash demanded. Fuck, fuck, fuck! But he was already sprinting into the main area, where Blanca and Cain were arguing over something. "Which one of you saw Yut-Lung last?"

"I haven't seen him since you got here," said Cain. "He took one of the computers and was combing through some Chinese—"

Blanca had scrambled to his feet, eyebrows pinched. "Can't find him?"

Ash shook his head.

"Motherfucker." Cain slammed his fist into the wall.

"He went with Bones last I saw," offered one of Cain's men.

"Bones is upstairs," said Kong. "Sleeping."

Ash pounded up the stairs, Cain, Alex, and Blanca on his heels. Blood surged through Ash. Yut-Lung was a good liar, but not that good. He wasn't a mole. He refused to believe that.

Do you trust him?

I… suppose?

"Ash, what the hell is going on?" called Max's voice. Ash wheeled around the corner and into a small room with a bunch of blankets bundled up on the floor, dirty clothes scattered, and Bones lying limp on the floor, with the window above him open to the frigid winter air.

"Bones!" Ash leaped at him, slapping him. "Wake up!" Nausea surged. You better be okay!

Bones stirred, his eyes blinking. "What—"

"Where's Yut-Lung?" Ash demanded, relief ripping his voice away from him. It came out a squeak. For a moment he'd thought—that Bones was—

"He was right here." Bones rubbed at his temples, sitting up. "Huh? What's going on?"

An envelope was pressed against a computer neatly arranged by the corner. Alex held it up. It had Ash's name on it.

Ash snatched it, glancing out the window. A fire escape. Yut-Lung, you really—

Dear Ash,

Sorry to run out on you like this. I had to use my needles on your friend, but it shouldn't hurt him. It's a temporary unconsciousness. I've forwarded the files I think are important/relevant to what might have tipped them off to you and to Blanca. But it'd really be best if you team up with Chinatown as well. They love Sing. He's like a second Shorter to them; but since Lao's basically their de facto leader right now, they won't if you're with them because of what happened to Shorter. They don't trust me enough without Sing as an intermediary either, but they're afraid of me enough not to hurt me if I go to that area. But they don't know what happened to Shorter, and I know you don't want them to know, and I really don't care what you want. I'll tell them about what I did, because if anyone is to blame, it's me and the rest of my family (but they're all dead now so it's just me). I don't think it really matters to Lao whom he gets to hurt, just that he hurts someone, and if they all hear Sing is in danger they'll want to do what your gang did to save you.

I am sorry for what happened to Shorter. I know I told you that back in Dino's dungeon but I'm still sorry. Please tell Max's wife Jessica that I am sorry for what happened to her as well. I never meant for any of it to happen. And please: save Sing, in case things don't go well for me. I know you will, but I just had to say it in case. And Eiji, too, and please tell him I am sorry as well. You two deserve your happy ending, you really do.

Yut-Lung Lee

"I'm going to kill him myself," Ash declared, fear pumping through him. He hated that Yut-Lung had used the name he hated. Lee. It was like Ash using Golzine's last name. I don't have time to deal with your suicidal whininess, Yut-Lung!

Or with mine...

Stop! I don't want to! I don't want this!

No one ever listened.

"What the hell can we even do?" Cain demanded. "He's right, having Chinatown with us would help if we're going up against Russian assassins."

"If Chinatown sees us, they'll kill us," declared Alex. "On sight."

"Fuck," Max moaned. "Jessica wouldn't blame him—he's a kid, he's—"

Ash remembered the sensation of blood leaving him, the relief, the calm—

Bullshit!

"There's one link I still have with Chinatown," he said. Ash turned to Max. "Max—"

"I'm coming with you," Max said.

"No," Ash managed. "Stay here, with Ibe. Blanca, Cain—"

"Ready to go," Cain said.

Yut-Lung knew Lao would have wormed his way out of the hospital as quickly as possible. Probably against medical advice, but he likely didn't want the cops asking too many questions. He pulled his scarf up over his mouth as he made his way through the streets of Chinatown. A snowflake drifted down in front of him. Another stung his nostrils.

He had no trouble finding where Lao would be. He just had to lower the scarf, reveal the dragon inked on his skin, and fear would crumple people's faces. They didn't even know him, and they were afraid of him, and it didn't feel as comforting as he would like to think.

Yut-Lung pounded on the door to Lao's apartment. Sure enough, he heard voices inside. It smelled like salt and grease in the hallway.

A click. "Who's there?"

"Lee Yut-Lung. It's about Sing." He crossed his arms, hoisting his chin high in the air. He must appear nonchalant. Make Lao think it was his idea.

The door flung open. "You've gotta be a complete idiot to come here," Lao informed him. He was grimacing, though, holding his side.

"Get out of the hospital on your own or have some of your guys help you?" Yut-Lung brushed past him, taking in the sight of several other members of Sing's gang.

Sing's friends.

"Where's Sing?" Lao demanded, shutting the door. He clung to the doorknob.

"Sit down before you fall down," Yut-Lung said.

"Where is my brother?" Lao shouted. He yanked out a gun. A click. He cocked it. He aimed it at Yut-Lung's face.

Finally. Yut-Lung almost could have smiled, but he couldn't really, not when the direness of Sing's situation chained him. "He's been abducted by assassins. Or a foreign government. Or mobsters."

"Why?" shouted one of the guys. Yut-Lung ignored him.

"If this has to do with your fucking bodyguard—" snarled Lao.

"It does."

"Then why are you here?" Lao demanded. "Are you that fucking stupid?"

You want to die so bad?

Shouldn't I?

I can't hate you.

I hate me!

"They've also got Eiji Okumura. And Ash's gang is working with Cain, and with Blanca, and—"

"You want us to work with the shits who got Sing—" bellowed Lao. "We don't take orders from you! Last time we did, two of us wound up dead! Now Sing's—and it's all your fault!"

"Work with Ash," Yut-Lung said, voice shaking. His words felt hot in his mouth. His hands shook. "If you do, you'll stand a better chance of—"

"So what, he can kill us in the end?" Lao yelled.

"He just shot Lao!"

Yut-Lung almost retorted that Lao had stabbed Ash, but he saw Lao's brows pinch, and he stopped himself. "You have no reason to hate Ash. Unless you hate him more than you love your brother?" Because you love yourself more, you selfish jealous—

"Fuck you! That's something you'd know nothing about! You killed your brothers, didn't you? Not the Vietnamese. And their families. Quite the assassin yourself, aren't you?" Lao glared at him.

A sick feeling overcame Yut-Lung. He clutched the grimy counter. A tea kettle whistled on the stove, but no one made a move towards it. "Yes." His voice came cracked.

"Yut-Lung!" His mother's scream rent his memories. Yut-Lung clutched his skull.

Mom—to avenge you I—

I did the same thing—what if those men did what happened to Jessica—I never specified—they killed the kids too—I ordered it—

I've created so many versions of me, and then I stomped them out. People who couldn't love. And I never gave them the chance to become Ash.

She would be so ashamed of him, wouldn't she be?

Nothing but a venomous snake… maggot… you Lees… All this time he'd been trying to be different. No, he knew it was hopeless. And Shorter had known too. Shorter was right.

You have our father's blood too!

Exactly, Yut-Lung thought.

I'll save one person, now, the only one I can. Sing.

That also means saving Eiji, and thereby Ash too.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Yut-Lung swallowed. "Why do you hate Ash?" He knew.

"Because he killed Shorter, and—"

"He didn't," said Yut-Lung. "He's lying about that. That isn't what happened." He met Lao's eyes. "I killed Shorter."

The color drained from Lao's face. Someone finally yanked the stupid tea kettle off the stove. Silence.

"Sing wouldn't have worked with you if that were the case," Lao said. "You're a greedy bitch, and—"

"Ash fired the shot to save Shorter," said Yut-Lung. "I kidnapped Shorter and Eiji on my brother's orders. Dino Golzine poisoned him with something—there's no cure. It turns you into a zombie, a vegetable, but you suffer nightmares the entire time. There's no way to save someone. Ash shot Shorter to spare him. Shorter asked him to—Shorter—in one moment of lucidity—he was begging—scratching himself—till he bled." Yut-Lung drew in his breath. "If you want to hate someone, if you want to kill someone for this, you should hate me. I'm hardly the sort of person who would make up such a story and offer myself for Ash, right?" He glanced around, at each face. "If you join with Ash and Cain, you can save Sing—if you say you're there for that, he'll work with you, I'm sure—he'd do anything to save Eiji Okumura from suffering anything like what Shorter—" He covered his mouth. Great, now sobs were breaking through.

"That can't be true."

"It is. My brothers said Shorter ran afoul, remember?"

Lao struck Yut-Lung in the temple. He stumbled. His skull ached, and then Lao's elbow slammed into Yut-Lung's jaw.

"Why?" Lao screamed.

Yut-Lung shook his head. "My brothers."

"You bastard!"

He was. He really was.

"Fight back," Lao said. "Fight back, you coward!"

"I didn't come here for that!" Yut-Lung shouted. "I just want to save your brother."

"Why him? Why?" Lao screamed. His face was purple, rage and sweat mingling, confusion bulging in his eyes. He punched Yut-Lung in the jaw this time. "Fight back!"

What is with you idiots and not being able to shoot an unresisting person? You just stabbed Ash with no problem! And you hate me more than him, you told me so! Yut-Lung dropped down, the floor cold and harsh against his knees. I don't deserve to stand. He looked up at Lao. "If you really love your brother, you'll do anything for him, right?"

Please just do it already. But promise me you'll save him.

He didn't want to let this fear clamber up inside of him. But wasn't it what he deserved? Wasn't it what Shorter went through?

Nightmares… of my own making. His mother, screaming, sobbing as they—Hua-Lung telling him what he'd have to do, telling him he'd have to see how like his mother he was, ordering him to take his clothes off—so many fingers of gross older men and women all over him, no inch of skin his own—Wang-Lung peppered with bullets—his nieces and nephews, the ones who laughed at him, all—

I don't deserve anything but nightmares.

I still want it to stop.

There was only one place they could go. The moment Ash walked into Chang Dai, Nadia almost dropped the stack of plates she was carrying. She gestured for him to follow her out back, to a storage area where Charlie was sitting.

Charlie leaped to his feet.

"Ugh, a cop," muttered Cain. Blanca said nothing.

"Charlie, if you're going to arrest me," burst out Ash. "Please wait until after I save Eiji. You care about him, don't you? And Nadia cares about Sing—"

"He's not going to arrest you," said Nadia. "Not unless he wants to arrest me, too." She stepped in front of Ash, glaring at her boyfriend. "Please. I don't want any more—what happened to Shorter—"

"Nadia, it's not that simple," Charlie protested. "I want to help you, Ash, I do, I just—"'

"Shorter's sister dates a cop," mumbled Cain. "What the hell."

"I need to find Lao," Ash managed. He could smell dumplings and soups bubbling away in the kitchen, and it reminded him of so many evenings Shorter would drag him back here, late, after closing, and Nadia would still feed them, laugh with them. "Nadia, I need to find Lao. Right now. Yut-Lung's about to get himself killed to try to get Lao to team up for me—he's going to take the blame for your brother's death."

"What?" Nadia's eyes widened.

"I shot him," Ash blurted out. "I shot Shorter, and I—" His throat closed up. He covered his face.

"Jesus, Ash," complained Cain. "We don't have time for this."

But it was like a cork unplugged, and it was exploding out of him. "He'd been drugged with—the same thing they gave my brother—the same fate—he asked me to set him free—Golzine had us all in his execution room—Yut-Lung helped them capture him, but he didn't know what would happen—Yut-Lung saved us there. He gave me the key afterwards, to escape." He yanked his hands away from his eyes, meeting Charlie's. Charlie looked horrified. "If you want to arrest me, just let me save Eiji first. And then fine, arrest me, but charge me with Shorter's—"

A slap. Ash stumbled. His cheek stung.

Nadia?

Good. He was finally—she would tell him. She would hate him.

"Don't you ever say that!" Nadia shouted.

"Huh?" Ash gaped at her.

"Shorter didn't travel across the country for you and your goals and ask you to spare him from—what happened to your brother—for you to just give up your life like that!" Nadia screamed at him.

Blanca arched his eyebrows. Cain folded his arms.

"You'd die in prison, or kill yourself before it," said Nadia. "And we both know it. We both know you would." She was sobbing, words choked. "You—I will help you escape if it is the last thing I do!"

"Nadia," whispered Charlie.

Nadia dropped her head into her hands, bawling. "You—set him—free—I'll set you—"

"Nadia," Charlie interrupted. "I'm not going to arrest Ash."

"What?" Ash looked up at him. He didn't understand. Nadia—

Nadia grabbed him, embracing him. Ash's chest ached. He couldn't breathe. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't, and it wasn't because he was afraid this time. No, he was afraid, but not for his life like in the past when people hurt him. This time, someone was stitching him up. His throat felt raw.

"Let us help you," Charlie broke in. "That's my condition. Don't go outside the law for this, saving Eiji and Sing. Let me help you. I have more influence than you think, especially since people are getting indicted right and left after the Newsweek article on Dino Golzine. Let me get you immunity. Please, Ash. Please. And if I fail to secure it, well, you'll... rob me and go free, okay? Like last time you took my gun."

Ash blinked. Are you for real? "You can't promise—"

"I can promise I'll do everything I can!" Charlie's eyes were glimmering. "Shorter was—he—"

"I'd take it," Blanca whispered.

I guess even you weren't able to run from the government forever.

Ash gulped. "Nadia—where is Lao?"

"Sing would have told me," Lao whispered.

"No, he wouldn't have," said Yut-Lung. "Do you really think I'm making this up? I'm telling you, you need to work with Ash and Cain to save—" Do it, just do it! "If you need revenge, it's on me!"

Lao glared.

"Go ahead," Yut-Lung said again, to another brother this time. "You have every right."

Sing, I'm sorry. I doubt this is what you wanted, but to save you—to save you—Ash needs Chinatown. And you'll be okay, with all of them.

The door flung open, banging against the wall. "Stop, Lao!" screamed a woman's voice.

Huh? Yut-Lung looked up, tears streaming down his face. And then he saw a tiny woman standing in front of him, shielding him from Lao, from his gun.

Nadia Wong?

No—she couldn't—he couldn't repeat this story—

"Ash told me everything," Nadia said. "About how Shorter died. About how Dino Golzine—"

"He kidnapped—" Lao started.

"By threatening to kill me," Nadia said. "No one has to tell me that. I know how you people work. You're no better, are you, Lao?"

"Nadia, get out of the way," Yut-Lung managed. He couldn't have her death on his conscience too!

"Shut up," said a voice from the doorway.

Blanca? Yut-Lung's eyes bulged.

"The reason Sing is in danger is because of me and my life," said Blanca calmly. "If you wish to kill someone, Lao, you may kill me, but only after we save your brother. I might be required for that."

"Huh?" Lao gaped at them both.

"If you want to kill Yut-Lung, you have to kill me first," Nadia said, voice trembling. "There's been enough killing! Enough dead people! Do you ever stop to think about how Sing will feel, if you killed Ash like you tried to, if you kill Yut-Lung now? Do you ever think about how Shorter would feel?"

"I don't—Shorter was like—"

"He loved you, Lao!" Nadia shouted. "And he wouldn't want you to do this! He'd want you to save Sing! He cared about you and Sing, and you need Blanca and Yut-Lung and Ash to save him! If you ever gave a—rat's ass about my brother, then put the fucking gun down and come with Cain and Ash and me to save him!"

"And you?" shrieked one of the guys.

"What are you saying?" cried out Yut-Lung. "I—deserve—I—"

Nadia looked back at him, and instead of rage on her face, he saw only pity. His instincts were to throw it back at her, but he had no energy and no right. He was so tired. He slumped.

"Get up," Nadia said. A request.

He looked up at her, eyes streaming. He couldn't move.

She took his hand, pulling him to his feet. He didn't understand. "Blanca, get him outside. I'll be following, along with anyone who actually cares about Sing Soo-Ling."

Blanca stepped forward, grasping Yut-Lung by the shoulder. He hustled Yut-Lung around the corner. Yut-Lung couldn't look at him. But that was when he spotted Ash and Cain and—Charlie, all holding weapons.

You— He gaped at Ash.

"Don't look shocked," Ash said. "You saved me too, remember?"

They were back at the hideout, Ash's gang glaring at Yut-Lung before Cain stated that Yut-Lung and Shorter's sister had gotten Chinatown to agree to help. Nadia had apparently texted Charlie that they were on the way. Not that Charlie came in with them, but he was keeping watch.

Ash waited until they calmed down, and then he dragged Yut-Lung into the same room he'd escaped from and shoved him back against the wall. "You fucking hypocrite!"

"I—"

"No, this is the part where you shut up!" Ash glared at him. "What do you think Sing would say if he found out you were killed by Lao? Think about that. Sing cares about you; we both know that, and his own brother—what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Yut-Lung flinched. "He forgave me for Shorter—he'd forgive Lao—"

"You weren't thinking about Sing at all! You were thinking about you, and that you wanted to die!"

"Don't I deserve it?" Yut-Lung fired back. "Aren't I the one who—who got Shorter into that hole in the first place—you said as much to me—"

"Sing wants you to live! If you don't think you deserve to live, then remember he thinks you should, and maybe if he thinks so, there must be some part of you that's worth keeping alive!" Ash's chest heaved. His side burned, stitches of Yut-Lung's kindness inside him. "If you can't believe that, trust Sing. You should live."

Yut-Lung shook his head. "I—"

"Sing wants you to live," croaked Ash. "So do I."

"If you have Lao and Blanca, then you don't need me—"

"I don't know," Ash said. "The past day or so I've been thinking you seem like a potential friend."

Yut-Lung's mouth fell open.

"Eiji, you're awake. I wanna check something," Sing was saying. He yanked up Eiji's shirt. Eiji felt the chill on his abdomen. But he felt cold all over sometimes, and sweat poured off him other times. His head pounded.

Sing swore.

"That doesn't sound good," Eiji tried to joke.

"It's fine," Sing said, but Eiji could feel something sticky on his abdomen. But it'd healed. Or… "Is it infected?"

"Can't see," Sing responded, which was a yes.

Eiji swore too. Sing almost laughed.

Sing got to his feet. Eiji felt cold again, a coldness that seemed to be coming from his bones. "Sing—"

Sing slammed his body against the door. "Oi! Help!" he bellowed, hitting and kicking the door. "Fucking—hell—no good—help, help, help!"

"Is it that bad?" Eiji eked out.

"Ahaha, no, it's fine," Sing said, before kicking the door frantically again.

Eiji felt nauseated again. He closed his eyes. He wished he could roll over onto his side, but that would just scrape the healing wound all over again. Though it wasn't really healing anymore, he supposed.

"Eiji—" Sing knelt by his side.

I can't die. I did not get shot by gang members to get kidnapped again and die from some stupid bacteria!

"I have a letter in my pocket," Eiji managed. "Can you—if I don't—to Ash—the letter I mentioned?"

"Oh, fuck off," Sing snapped. "It's not that bad yet, you've only been here—well, I don't know how long, but only been sick a few hours, so—"

"I don't know," Eiji tried to joke. "I feel pretty shitty."

"No joking about dying or I'll kill you first." Sing got to his feet again.

"But the letter—"

"Ash will never forgive himself or me if you don't make it and I do!"

"That's not his responsibility!" Eiji tried to push himself up. His head swam. His abdomen hurt. It hurt so badly. He thought of his father, moaning in pain as his liver struggled to keep him alive, the yellow flushing his skin. "I have the letter—"

"A letter's a poor substitute for a person!"

"No kidding," Eiji panted. "That's—just in case—"

"If I say yes, I'm afraid you'll give up!" Sing cried out, and in that moment he sounded like a terrified child, sobbing because the thunderstorms were raging too loud outside.

"I won't," Eiji insisted. "I can't. You're here." And Ash. And his family would be pissed, and Ibe—I can't give up. "We're going to get out of here."

Sing exhaled. Without answering, he turned and slammed himself into the door again, screaming. "Hey! We have someone sick in here! You wanna lose a hostage before you—"

The door was yanked open.

The back end of a gun slammed over Sing's skull.

"Sing!" bellowed Eiji, sitting up. He gagged, struggling to roll over so that he didn't choke. "Sing!"

Blood streamed down his friend's unconscious face.

A guard gaped at him, taking in Eiji's pale, shaking form, and uttered what was almost certainly a curse word in his language.