"My God, a moment of bliss. Why, isn't that enough for a whole lifetime?"

Ash lay flat on the ground, staring at the ceiling. He'd managed to help crack some files earlier, and was making plans with Chinatown. Lao had come, too, and Nadia. Ash had warned Yut-Lung to stick close to him, because he didn't trust Lao or his minions not to exact revenge. But they needed to work together. For Eiji, and for Sing.

I won't let anything happen to Sing. Not like with Shorter.

Which they all knew about now. They all knew what happened. Somehow it was harder to have it known he was forced to kill Shorter. He wanted to pretend it never happened, wanted to forget, wanted to remember Shorter without the knowledge that his blood was on Ash's hands. He didn't want everyone seeing him hanging from those chains in Dino's prison, even when they were released so he could grab a gun, because they were never released.

I hate myself.

But all of the people in that room: Ibe and Max, Eiji, and Yut-Lung who saw it happen... none of them blamed him. Ash's eyes stung. An inner voice that sounded an awful lot like Eiji asked him: shouldn't that count for something?

He and Yut-Lung were supposed to be napping now, though neither of them could rest. Ash could see the gleam of Yut-Lung's eyes, amethyst, open. Cain had ordered them to take two hours. But his brain kept churning.

I don't have chains anymore, do I?

Not Dino's...

I want to be free. To save you, Eiji, not to hurt.

Voices down the stairs. A new voice. Yut-Lung stiffened.

Ash snapped up. He knew that voice, feminine and sharp. Oh fuck.

"Who's that?" Yut-Lung whispered.

"Jessica?"

Yut-Lung's face whitened.

"You okay?" Ash asked.

Yut-Lung arched his eyebrows. "You think?"

Nope. It sounded worse than Ash having to see all of Chinatown's faces, see all of them uncertain of whether to hate him or pity him. No, it sounded about the same. "She's a good shot," Ash offered. "And smart. I'm sure she'll help."

"The men Hua-Lung sent raped her in front of her son," Yut-Lung whispered, wringing his hands. "I didn't—they weren't supposed to—I never intended for any of that to happen—" His face crumpled. "I would have told them not to, I didn't even think of that as a possibility—"

"Well, it did. She said it took her six months to get back on her feet." Ash fell silent, remembering their conversation, knowing Yut-Lung was remembering his mother. "We never had that time, I suppose."

Yut-Lung lifted his face. He swallowed and shook his head. "No, we didn't."

"Why did we fight for so long?" Ash asked.

"I was jealous," Yut-Lung mumbled. "Sing told me that. Of you and Eiji."

"Did you poison him for it?"

"No, I slapped him and he slapped me back and said he'd help me." Yut-Lung's voice softened.

Ash pressed his lips together. "So like, he knows who you are, the worst shit you've done, and still wants to stick by you."

"Yeah."

"It's the best feeling in the world." You and Sing, huh.

"It is," Yut-Lung agreed. He frowned.

Footsteps creaked on the stairs. "They're asleep," came Blanca's voice.

Ash and Yut-Lung looked at each other. Ash almost smirked.

"Oh, you," came Jessica's voice. "You're the reason Eiji's been kidnapped. And Sing, too."

Yut-Lung's eyes popped. Ash covered his mouth to keep from gasping out loud.

"I'm aware," Blanca answered.

"Are you? Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to get them back alive, or are you just here to protect yourself?"

"Jessica," hissed Max. "He's an assassin."

"I don't give a fuck! I know you left Ash when he was fourteen and then you left that other Chinese kid too, to help Ash, or really just to ease your conscience. Max told me all about you and your past. Boohoo, your wife died."

Ash's jaw fell open. Yut-Lung clapped his hands to his face.

"Jessica—"

"Shut up, Max. He's a shithead and he needs to know it. He's a coward who projects himself onto needy teenage boys who have been horribly abused. You know what Ash told me after Foxx raped him and I asked him about it? He told me he'd never had time to process his trauma."

"I didn't say that," Ash snapped.

"You just did two seconds ago," Yut-Lung hissed. "Ash... I didn't know about Foxx."

Ash turned his face away.

"I put you back in Golzine's hands."

"I don't want to hate you for it," Ash interrupted. "So did Blanca. I don't hate either of you, anymore, okay?"

Jessica's voice rose, cutting them off. "You were what, his tutor at fourteen? And you split town after that girlfriend of his, or not-girlfriend, or whatever she was, a crush, died? Because you saw yourself in him? You abandoned him because you didn't want to face what you were creating when it was and is all your fault because you could have taken him away from that shithead Dino Golzine, and you didn't, and then you let that Lee boy go after him and he's a kid, too, and you want to create another killer just like yourself? Don't interrupt me!"

"Holy shit," whispered Ash.

"You left him to save Ash, but you just did the same thing to him you did to Ash because you're a coward who forgot he had a conscience for too long. You disgust me. And let me tell you, if you plan on letting those kids—or any of these kids—take the fall for your bad deeds, then I'm going to hunt you down myself, assassin or not!"

Yut-Lung's brow creased. "Does she know?"

"Know what?" Ash hissed.

"About me—what I did—"

"Yeah," Ash said. "She knows."

"Then why?"

"Because she really sees you as a sixteen year old, apparently?" And you are.

And I'm...

"I agree with my wife," said Max's voice. "We'll both personally come for you."

"Jesus Christ," Ash whispered. There was something sitting in his chest, burning like humiliation, but it wasn't entirely painful. He didn't know how to feel.

Yut-Lung got to his feet.

"Yut-Lung, don't!"

"She should know," Yut-Lung insisted. "I have to make sure. What do you want to do, fake being asleep?"

Ash scowled. "You're still suicidal."

Yut-Lung shoved the door open. Ash rolled his eyes and got up, too.

All three adults looked at them, shock on their faces.

You were saying that for real. Without knowing I could hear. Ash gulped. You—mean it?

"You should know," Yut-Lung said, voice trembling. "Blanca did send Sing to help me—"

"Oh right, sending a child to do the work he should do, how brave," Jessica snipped.

"Sing didn't go to you out of obligation," Ash pointed out.

Yut-Lung hunched his shoulders. "I suppose not, but—it's not like I didn't deserve—"

"No child deserves that," Jessica snarled, voice so loud the chatter downstairs stopped. Max met Ash's gaze, pale and sweaty. Blanca studied his shoes. "If you love your dead wife, Blanca, if you really love her, then maybe life how she'd want you to live instead of what, fucking random girls and abandoning kids who need you. I remember you told me Ash saved you. Well, he shouldn't have to. You should save him, you big-ass coward. You're afraid of being saved."

"Jessica," Ash started.

"Don't defend him!"

Ash had no idea what to say. He'd never—everyone had always been angry at him. Or endured with him, like Blanca for a bit, and now—

Max had been angry for him. With his father. He'd burned the photos. Ash's eyes seared as he looked at Max and Jessica.

"I'm responsible for what happened to you," Yut-Lung choked out. "I mean, I didn't know—but Hua-Lung sent them to hold—you can't—"

Jessica looked at him. "I do research for my articles, Yut-Lung." She knew his name. "I know about you. I know why they sent you to Golzine. You are not who's to blame."

His face paled. He looked to Max, face rent as if hoping Max would lash out at him. Max just watched him, eyes sad.

"Get your shit together," Jessica told Blanca, spinning on her heel and stalking back down the stairs.

Ash had no idea what to say or think. Blanca turned away from them. He clutched the railing, knuckles white.

"Come on," Max said quietly. He reached for Ash, and then for Yut-Lung too.

"Ash?" Yut-Lung tapped him on the shoulder as he tried to drink a mug of tea.

"Yeah?"

Yut-Lung leaned back against the counter. "What are the chances Blanca is planning to—pull what you pulled in the library or when you surrendered to Foxx or to Golzine or what I just did with Lao?"

Ash froze. The mug stung his hands. He turned to Yut-Lung.

"I mean," Yut-Lung said. "If you and I are—very alike, then Blanca is like us, too. Or more like me than you. He told—he told me that you could love. You were different than us because you could love, whereas he and me—we weren't loved, so we couldn't love—"

"Bullshit," Ash said, slamming his mug into the sink. Liquid slopped out, scalding his hands. "That's a crock of shit, Yut-Lung."

He blinked.

"You can love. You just didn't know how. You love Sing, don't you? And Blanca clearly, if you're talking to me about this." Ash gritted his teeth. "He told me Eiji didn't exist for my salvation—"

"You never treated him like that," Yut-Lung interrupted. "Eiji chose you, Ash. He chose to stay with you. Sing said he was planning to return from Japan after a quick visit. It wasn't intended to be permanent."

Ash sucked in his breath.

"If you love him," said Yut-Lung. "You let him do what he wants, right? And you try to protect—but—"

"Okay," Ash said. "How do we stop Blanca from attempting to die for us? Because he will."

Because… he loves us. Both of us. He just sucks at it, like you and I suck at loving Eiji and Sing.

He ran because you loved me. Not like my father, who sent me away because he didn't.

Eiji stayed, because he loved me, because he is brave.

Yut-Lung was unloved, and now he can—you don't have to stay a coward.

We both love Blanca too, don't we?

"I have an idea," said Yut-Lung. "But it's dangerous, and involves risking our lives but if we're careful we should make it out okay, and trusting people I don't trust, and it doesn't involve waiting around to dig up a location." He bit his lip. "The downside is if it goes wrong I really think Jessica might kill Blanca, so we can't fail."

"Are you for real about this, Ash?" demanded Cain.

"Apparently." Ash kept a straight face. Yut-Lung was prepared, needles sewn into the red bow he'd tied into his hair.

"Please explain to me why I would help the likes of you," Lao said with a sneer.

"Because you want to save your brother," Yut-Lung said. "And I want to save him, too." He swallowed.

It wasn't just that. He wanted to save Sing. And he wanted to talk to him. He wanted to embrace him. He wanted to hear Sing laughing at him, mocking him for crying again, telling him to stop drinking, share dinners with him even if he had to make them himself.

Lao scowled. "I still hate you. I'll hate you forever."

Yut-Lung gritted his teeth. "That's fine. Just help me save your brother."

Lao rolled a pen between his fingertips. "Okay."

Lao was totally going to enjoy this. Yut-Lung glanced at Ash, who looked nowhere near as apprehensive as Yut-Lung felt. The air felt cold on their faces. His teeth chattered, and his ears felt as if they were icing over.

"Drink?" Ash suggested.

"Please." Yut-Lung followed him into a bar. Neither of them spoke, but Ash clearly knew the bartender, because he handed Ash a beer right away. Yut-Lung ordered a cocktail.

What's taking so long?

Okay, he knew it might take hours. Still. He was terrified Sing wouldn't have hours, and if Blanca or Jessica or Max found out what they'd done in spite of Cain's best efforts, they'd be hauled back. He didn't doubt that.

Yut-Lung spotted Lao in the back of the bar, blending in but keeping an eye on them. Good.

"Back to wandering," Ash announced. Yut-Lung nodded, following. It had to be almost three in the morning. The sky looked sharp and clear, a few pinpricks of light visible. Stars.

Someone bumped into Ash, and for a moment Yut-Lung thought this was it, and then he thought he'd been stabbed and fear sliced him, but Ash was fine, and the man was just a drunk.

"Neither of us can die there," Yut-Lung said finally, breaking the silence between them. Laughs rang out on the streets around them.

"Agreed," Ash said. He met Yut-Lung's eyes and almost smiled. "We both want to, though. And we don't."

Yut-Lung nodded. This. This was what he'd always wanted: someone to understand, who'd been through it, to pull him along. Why did I become your enemy?

Oh, right. I'm stupid.

Nothing but a failure...

"You know," he said. "The only reason I decided—to hate you—was because Eiji left. After I kidnapped him. I'd been planning to work with you, first, once you got out of the hospital."

"Are you seriously that petty?" Ash remarked, sidestepping a shattered bottle.

"Yes."

Ash laughed.

"Sing saw the whole thing happen," Yut-Lung said. "Eiji actually kidnapped me and I tried to goad him into killing me, but well, you know how that goes."

"Killing you?"

"He pulled a gun on me."

Ash snorted. "It's like a bunny rabbit with a gun."

"I was jealous Sing looked up to you so much, too," Yut-Lung admitted.

"He looks up to you just as much." Ash cast Yut-Lung a smile.

He does? Why? He can't. "I don't believe that," Yut-Lung said finally. "But I hope to be someone Sing can look up to, someday."

Ash studied him. A crash echoed: someone stepping on the beer bottle, pulverizing what was left of the glass. They drew a weapon. Ash yanked his out.

This is what's supposed to happen! Still, Yut-Lung yelped as someone's hand closed over his mouth. A blade appeared at his throat. Familiar. At least this person wasn't choking him by his hair. Still, their fingers pressed deep into his shoulder, and he cringed.

Lao, you better—Cain will keep them from killing you—

Ash put his weapon down, but a cloth soaked in some kind of chemical covered Yut-Lung's mouth, and he couldn't focus, and his head throbbed, and Ash's face faded into a blur of white and gold and green, and then nothing at all.

"Sing, please wake up," Eiji pleaded. But Sing didn't stir. He was still breathing, and Eiji's side was still searing in pain, but they'd managed to force some antibiotics down his throat and he hadn't thrown them up, though he'd have given anything to have done so. "Sing, please—I don't want to die alone."

But Sing still couldn't move. Eiji whimpered.

The door flung open. Eiji propped himself up on one elbow, hissing in pain. "He—won't wake up."

The guard didn't even look at him. He gestured. And then two more were thrown down, and Eiji just saw a blond head, falling.

Blond. Gold. Him.

"Ash!"

Darkness took over again.

"Eiji!"

His voice. It was him. It was him. Eiji was gasping, pain still echoing from his side which was stupid, because he didn't want to feel pain, not now—he was—am I—

"It's okay," Ash was saying, and a hand landed on his knee. "Eiji, Eiji—"

"Sing?" croaked another voice.

"Yut-Lung?" shrieked Eiji. He coughed. His side seared in pain.

"Eiji, what's wrong?" Ash grabbed his wrist.

"Sing got hit on the head—he was trying to help me—he hasn't woken up, it's been hours, and I'm—my wound's gotten infected, it's—"

Ash swore. Yut-Lung moaned.

"He's still breathing," Yut-Lung reported. "Sing, Sing, can you hear me?" Panic shook in his voice.

"We're going to get you out of here," Ash managed. "Promise, Eiji, I promise, I—"

"Ash, I—"

"It's a long story—these guys are professionals, Blanca's old—" Ash cursed again. "Dammit, why can't I see anything?"

Someone stepped on Eiji's fingers. "Ouch!"

"Sorry," mumbled Yut-Lung.

"Why is—why are you here?" Eiji croaked out.

"It's all part of the plan," answered Yut-Lung.

"It is," Ash said. "Yut-Lung and I are working together, Eiji—I know—" His fingers brushed Eiji's shoulder.

Eiji wanted to wrap Ash in his arms, feel Ash's arms around him. And he couldn't, because of this stupid wound. And he was still fucking up Ash's life—Ash had been kidnapped, again, because of—

"Shh," Ash whispered, stroking Eiji's hair back from his forehead. "We're gonna get you out of here, safely. You and Sing." Ash was lying down next to him, holding him.

"Ash, they'll catch you!" He only had fragmented memories of himself stumbling through a too-clean hallway, calling out for Ash to run away, run away from him, because now he was the dangerous one.

You came here—for me—again—

"It's okay," Ash assured him again, voice cracking. He pressed his face into Eiji's shoulder, seemingly aware moving Eiji wasn't going to help him right now.

"Sing, please," pleaded Yut-Lung. "You can't die. Not for me. Not—I'll never forgive myself—"

"It's not your fault," snapped Ash, an arm around Eiji now.

"'S not," Eiji rasped.

Yut-Lung snorted. "Eiji… I'm—"

The door flung open again, cursing them with light. Yut-Lung yelped. He hovering over Sing's unconscious form while Ash held Eiji. The guard's eyebrows raised.

This was the first time he'd seen their faces, and Eiji instantly wanted to vomit again. He tried to roll onto his side. Ash grabbed him, holding him up.

"Get on your feet. You. Blondie."

"He needs me—" Ash started.

"It has to be you! Don't hesitate, or I'll take care of one of the—" The guard aimed his gun at Sing.

A new pair of hands clutched Eiji's shoulders. Yut-Lung. "Go, Ash. I'll take care of him. Promise."

Silence. And then: "Okay," Ash whispered.

"Where are you taking him?" Eiji cried out. Ash refused to look at him.

"Leverage."

"I—" But hot gorge rose within him. Eiji vomited, his stomach spasming with so much pain he almost fainted. Yut-Lung held him up, rubbing circles around his shoulders, whispering what sounded like a Chinese poem, or song.

The door shut. "Ash!" The memories of what had happened with Foxx—with—

"We're getting out of here," Yut-Lung said. "Fuck the plan. I can't wait. I think Blanca's here and that's where they took him, but I don't know and I don't care."

"Huh?" Eiji's throat burned.

"Can you walk?"

"I can try."

"Not reassuring." Yut-Lung cussed. And then he crawled away, and Eiji heard a strange noise.

"What are you doing?"

"Picking the lock," Yut-Lung responded. "Not being able to see sucks, of course, but—"

"You can do that?"

"Shh," hissed Yut-Lung. A distinctive click echoed. "Apparently, yes."

"Ash is—"

The door creaked open. Eiji held his breath. Yut-Lung sprang out. A thud, and Yut-Lung returned, still wielding a terrifyingly large needle and a gun, clearly taken off a guard. He helped Eiji to a sitting position. "Put your arm around me."

You're actually helping. Eiji gaped at him as he tried to walk. Even with Yut-Lung's help, it felt like he was being knifed under the ribs. A guard lay unconscious, but with his eyes open. Yut-Lung leaned Eiji against what looked like a broken-down desk, returning to drag Sing out.

You're not strong enough to get both of us out of here.

"Sing—he talked a lot about you," Eiji managed, shaking as wave after wave of agony rolled through him. The desks and wooden containers spun, flipping in his vision. He clutched a nearby desk. All around them seemed to be junk. Where the hell are we?

Take him, leave me behind—I can't lose him again—

Yut-Lung grunted.

"How long have we been been—"

"Not even three days," replied Yut-Lung.

"Huh?" Eiji gaped. "It felt—"

"Like an eternity?" Yut-Lung finished dragging Sing out, frantically still checking for a pulse. He met Eiji's eyes. "I know."

"Yo," echoed a voice behind them. "Need help?"

"Cain!" Eiji cried out. Not just Cain. Alex and—Kong and Bones, and—

"Blanca's meeting with them now," Cain said. "Where's Ash?"

"With them, apparently," Yut-Lung wheezed.

"I'll take him." Lao rushed towards Sing. Alex grabbed Eiji. They scrambled. Kong and Bones and the others, Ash's gang and Chinatown and Black Sabbath, ran towards the right. A gunshot rang out. Eiji flinched.

"Lao, you gotta go with your guys," said Cain. "Unless you're a complete—"

"He's my—"

"Lao," said Yut-Lung. "I'll make sure he gets to the hospital, safely."

"Why would I trust you?"

Yut-Lung's nostrils flared. "Still?"

"We don't have time for this!" snarled Cain.

"And you better make sure you make it back to see him, okay?" Yut-Lung stepped back.

Lao blanched.

Yut-Lung's eyes watered. "Please."

Lao hesitated. "You hurt him, I'll cut you apart one limb at a time."

"Fair."

Lao cussed, turning and running after his guys, casting one glance back.

Professionals... Eiji gulped. Ash, I'm not losing you.

There's nothing I can do. The pain was so strong he felt like he'd black out. Gunshots echoed. Ash was somewhere in the middle of all that, he knew.

Except trust you.

Ash, live. I want to see you again.