A/N: This chapter is for AnkorB as a thank you for having been kind enough to review everytime. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. As always please do review. Seeing only 2 or 3 reviews gets very discouraging
It was 1 p.m. Kara checked her phone for the hundredth time that day. She had left Lena 15 voice mails, and 20 text messages, and received a grand total of 0 voicemails and messages in response. Frowning to herself, Kara closed her eyes and massaged her temples gently. Until today, she had never known that it was possible for Kryptonians to get headaches.
It was 1.01 p.m. Kara checked her phone for the 101st time that day. Slamming her palms against her knees, Kara decided that she had had enough. It was time for her to confront Lena. She couldn't go another second without seeing her again. It was hard enough with Lena being on the outs with her alter-ego, but Lena always loved being around Kara Danvers. This was an entire new level of torture. Ever since the day they had first met, there had never been one single instance when Lena Luthor had gone out of her way to avoid Kara.
Kara swallowed nervously. She wouldn't have been this worried if she had fallen in love with someone else. Someone nice and docile like…Did Kara really not know anyone nice and docile? She really needed to expand her social circle a little more. Who was she kidding, she automatically gravitated to badass women. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that Lena being the queen of all bad-asses had naturally become the queen of her heart as well.
But Lena was also unfortunately a bad-ass with a tightly wound ball in chain reflex. On top of that she was also a badass with billions of dollars at her disposal. Which meant that Lena could potentially at this very instant be engineering a move for L-Corp to shift from National City to Metropolis. All because Kara, hadn't been quick enough to reassure her that her feelings were not just returned, but it was more like a 10X or 20X return. Would Lena be so upset that she would move to a different continent altogether? Would L-Corp be just as successful in New Zealand? What would Kara do in New Zealand? The crime rate was pretty low there, wasn't it? But she supposed, she could always chill out and explore where LOTR was made. That would be cool.
What was she thinking? Kara had to go and stop Lena before she moved down under. She needed a plan. A 3 pronged approach to stop Lena from freaking out
Part 1: Barge into Lena's office
Part 2: Ply her with Kale from Noonan's
Part 3: Shout out from the top of L-Corp roof that Kara Danvers loves Lena Luthor, and then kiss her until she forgets all about New Zealand
While Kara loved Part 3 the most, if she kissed Lena, then she would want to date Lena. And how was Kara supposed to date Lena without telling her that she was Supergirl? If Kara were to date Lena without telling her that she was the girl of steel, and if Lena were to later find out the truth, she would be shattered. She would consider it a betrayal and a violation, whose magnitude would be larger than anything she had had to deal with before from her brother or mother, all because it was coming from Kara. The one person she trusted beyond everyone else, the one person who made her feel safe. Things were already bad enough when Kara was just her friend and had concealed her identity. She didn't even want to think about how badly Lena would react if she were to find out that her girlfriend Kara had been keeping such a monumental secret from her. It would surely spell the end of their relationship, and Kara would be banished forever from Lena's life.
Wasn't that the fear which had stopped Kara from kissing her yesterday? It had taken every ounce of her will power to not grab Lena and crash their lips together, and instead turn her cheek.
Clenching her hair, Kara let out a frustrated growl. This double identity of hers was getting in the way of her relationship with Lena, the woman she was like 3000% certain that she would like to spend the rest of her life with. Navigating her relationship with Lena as Kara and Supergirl was going to require a lot of tact. A word that had never really been a part of her dictionary, considering that she had always had a "punch first ask questions later" kind of approach to everything in life.
She needed a better plan. She had never really expected Lena to make the first move like that. She supposed that a part of it was due to her shameless pursuit of Lena as Supergirl. Kara didn't know why but she was completely unable to restrain herself around Lena as her alter-ego. This was probably because Lena never failed to respond to Kara being completely herself, unfiltered and unhidden behind her glasses. Lena's heartbeat always sped up when Kara stood before her as Supergirl, her innate confidence and Kryptonian intelligence, inspiring a different kind of awe in Lena. Kara sighed. It was much deeper than the visceral way Lena reacted to her as supergirl. She wanted Lena to love all of her. Not just nerdy and excitable Kara Danvers, but also the innately confident, youngest member of the Kryptonian Science guild, and royal heir to the Kryptonian council, Kara Zor-El.
But then Kara also loved the tender way Lena looked at her when she was just plain old Kara Danvers. Supergirl might inspire Lena's admiration, but it was Kara Danvers who brought out Lena's love. It was Kara Danvers whom Lena turned to when the world made her feel unsafe. Kara Danvers for whom she had ordered pot stickers in the most upscale gala National City had ever witnessed. And Kara Danvers, whom she had unfailingly cuddled up to in every movie night they had had together so far. It was Kara Danvers, whom by Lena's own admission, was her favorite.
And Kara didn't know how to make Lena admit that she also wanted Supergirl, whom she continuously held to such high standards, that one betrayal was enough to convince Lena to turn away from her forever. Unlike Kara Danvers whom she had placed on such a high pedestal, whose countless mistakes she forgave and turned a blind eye to time and time again.
Which is why she couldn't help take down Kara Danvers a peg or two, when she was Supergirl. At the end of it all, she wanted Lena to understand that Kara was not infallible. She was not perfect. As both Supergirl or Kara Danvers. And loving Kara, would mean loving both Supergirl and Kara Danvers for their individual flaws as well as merits.
If she could only find a way to secure Lena's admiration for her, and win back her trust as Supergirl, things would be infinitely easier. But she also needed to ensure that Lena's love didn't lose any of its joy and warmth due to yesterday's events, which Lena must have undoubtedly perceived as a rejection from Kara.
She needed a new plan.
Part 1: Regain Lena's trust as Supergirl, and Part 2: Make sure that Lena understood in no uncertain terms that Kara Danvers was definitely definitely, more than a little interested in kissing the daylights out of Lena Luthor.
Nodding to herself, she made her way to Noonan's. It was time she picked up lunch, barged into Lena's office and let her know exactly how Kara Danvers felt about her
xx—xx—xx—xx-xx
To say that Lena was having a bad day would perhaps be the biggest understatement of all time. Supergirl's visit and Kara's rejection had caused her a sleepless night. She didn't know which was worse. Was it bad that her mind refused to let go of the image of Kara's pain filled eyes, or the fact that the image was replaced by the painful arousal she had felt when Supergirl had declared that she would "win her heart". Who did she think she was? Some kind of medieval knight? And what did that make Lena? The damsel in distress? Like hell she would subject herself to that role. The next time she saw Supergirl she would definitely be exchanging some choice words with her, and be telling her in no uncertain terms to back off! Her heart belonged to Kara and Kara alone, regardless of the fact that Kara did not want it. She had come into work that morning, furious at Supergirl for distracting her mind and heart from Kara, hoping that work would provide her with the outlet she needed to take out her frustration. Only to be proved utterly and spectacularly wrong.
There had been a board meeting to deal with, consisting of sexist white men who thought she was incapable of making decisions for her own damn company, all because of her gender. But in the end it had taken all of 10 minutes of well-placed barbs to reduce the self-satisfied pigs to a blubbering mess, which Lena supposed was satisfaction on its own.
But then the real icing on the cake had been, when she had turned on the news only to discover that her beloved brother had escaped jail once again. Surprise Surprise! When were they going to learn that you cannot contain a Luthor in any ordinary run of the mill high security prison? Sighing, she decided that this time around she would personally find a way to oversee the fortification of Lex's prison when they caught him the next time. She refused to think of the alternative, where Lex would roam free, unhindered in his single minded obsession to kill Lena for her betrayal of his radical Xenophobic anti-alien ideals.
Lena glumly ran her fingers through her high ponytail, her mind drifting once again to Kara, and the way she had looked at her with so much anguish. She didn't dare check her phone. She knew without even seeing the gadget that Kara would have undoubtedly spammed her phone with messages and voicemails.
Abruptly tired, Lena rested her forehead on her desk, allowing the cool glass to soothe her raging migraine. She would have to find a way to salvage the situation with Kara. She would move heaven and earth to make sure that Kara was comfortable with having Lena in her life, despite her now knowing of Lena's romantic hopes for her. She would much rather have Kara as a friend than not at all. A life without Kara Danvers and her sunny smile was unthinkable, and infinitely worse than contemplating what it would feel like to be murdered by her own brother. Laughing at herself, Lena wondered when had she grown so soft that her love for a woman and her concern for said woman's happiness, outweighed all concerns of her life being threatened perhaps the most unhinged criminal of all time? Her own beloved brother
She supposed that a vase of yellow roses delivered to CatCo would do? Yellow roses meant friendship, didn't they? Would Kara see it as Lena's attempt to apologize, and a gesture that she wanted nothing more than what Kara was willing to give, even if it was only friendship. Feeling her already fractured heart crack a little more, Lena reached for her intercom, making up her mind to summon her secretary for placing the order. Only to stop when she heard her voice outside the door
"Ms. Danvers…Ms. Danvers! Kara! I have express directions that no one is allowed in today. You can't go in there!"
"Oh that doesn't mean me Eve! You're new here, so you probably don't know. I've always had blanket permission to see Lena whenever I want"
"Kara…She told me today morning to let no one in today, and specifically to not let YOU in"
Wincing at the way, her secretary pointedly told Kara to back off, Lena felt her heart throb painfully. Kara would surely take the hint and go away. She was a good friend. She would understand that Lena needed some space and time to sort out her feelings, and not push her way in. But Lena couldn't help hope that Kara would come in anyway, only so that Lena could replace the last memory she had of Kara's teary eyes with a new one of Kara hopefully smiling at her.
And then she heard footsteps. Angry footsteps, right outside her door, before it was flung open and Kara was marching in. Marching in or perhaps stalking in was a better word for it, with every line of her stiff body emanating fury, and her secretary following close behind and apologizing profusely to Lena
Kara crossed the room in three gigantic strides, messenger bag slinging dangerously from her elbow, as she made her way to Lena's desk, and slammed her hands down on it.
"What do you mean you don't want to see me, SPECIFICALLY?" she said enunciating every single word clearly and forcefully
Lena had never seen the reporter this mad at anyone before, let alone her, and god help her but the sight did things her. The sight of Kara, with her cheeks flushed, and eyes narrowed, a stray blonde hair escaping her plait, did things to her. Lena tried to swallow past her unexpected arousal at this display of power from the normally shy and timid reporter. Clearing her throat, she spoke to her Secretary, not yet quite brave enough to break eye contact with the furious blonde in front of her
"It's okay Eve. I'll handle this"
Kara glared at Lena and waited till she heard the secretary close the door
"You'll handle me? Are you sure you're up to it Lena? Because I think you've been doing a piss poor job of handling me so far. Especially considering the fact that you've not had the balls to answer at least one of the 40 text messages and voice mails I've left for you since last night"
Swallowing past her hurt, Lena tried to rein in her emotions. It looked like she was going to have to ditch her cowardly idea of letting the vase of yellow roses make her apologies. She was going to have to do it herself. But how was she supposed to say that she only wanted to be friends, when everything in her was screaming at her to take Kara in her arms and soothe her anger with kisses. Drawing on every ounce of her composure, she folded her hands in her lap, and leaned back in her chair. Lena looked straight at the reporter, making sure that Kara could see the sincerity in her eyes.
"Kara. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just needed some time and space to process what happened yesterday"
Lena faltered, unable to look at Kara anymore as the memory of Kara turning away and lips meeting a soft smooth cheek flooded her mind. She looked down at the floor and drew some strength from how shiny and put together her heels looked. She continued "Don't worry though. Your friendship means far too much to me. I never intended to cut you out Kara. I very much want to be a part of your life, assuming of course that you would still be comfortable with that. I should tell you though that I expect these feelings will soon fade away, as it normally does in cases like this"
She found her chair spinning abruptly, and a persistent finger pressed beneath her chin, forcing her to look up into blue eyes. Furious blue eyes that looked half mad with grief and rage.
"You expect that the way you feel for me will fade away with time? You think that this constant need to cuddle whenever we sit together on any horizontal surface, will pass? That this need to hear your voice at least once a day will go away? You think that this bone deep certainty that you are the one person I want to come home to everyday, will cease to exist and disappear one fine day? Just like that?" Kara snapped her fingers in front of Lena's face.
Startled by the sound, Lena felt breath escape from her lungs. She hadn't realized that she had stopped breathing during Kara's speech. What…what was Kara saying? Did she really mean what Lena thought she meant? Lena didn't dare commit the same mistake she had made yesterday. She couldn't let herself hope and see things that weren't there. Or were they there all the time and she had been right, the first time around?
Kara's eyes softened, probably in response to the confusion she saw in Lena's eyes
"You ran out yesterday before I could explain, why I couldn't let you kiss me"
Feeling a hot rush of shame, Lena looked down at her clasped hands resting primly in her lap. Kara's slender hands came down to cover her own, making her involuntarily look up into blue eyes that were now regarding her intently
"You ran out before I could tell you just how badly I wanted you to kiss me"
Lena felt warmth flood into veins that felt frozen since yesterday. She stood up abruptly. The thought of Kara wanting to kiss her, playing in an endless loop in her mind. Startled, the blonde reporter backed up and gave her some space
"You want me to kiss you?" She took one step forward, and watched amused as the blonde reporter swallowed noisily and took one step back. Then as if she were steeling herself for a wrestling match, she saw the blonde reporter stand her ground, clench her fists, and nod resolutely. Nothing had ever made Lena feel this victorious before. Not her successful rebranding of L-Corp. Not the sky rocketing sales of her own alien image inducers. And definitely not her success in wresting control from her stupid sexist board. One nod from Kara, and she felt like she had just conquered the fucking world.
Quirking an eyebrow, she asked seductively "Was that a yes, Kara? I'm afraid you're going to actually have to say it."
Lena saw the reporter swallow painfully, her eyes stroking that slender neck and already wondering what it would feel like when she ran her tongue down that narrow column. She flicked her eyes back up, and held those baby blue eyes captive with her own. She watched the blonde reporter swallow past her obvious arousal and choke out "Yes!"
It would take exactly two more steps for Lena to close the distance and kiss Kara. Should she be hard or soft? This would be their first kiss and she wanted it to be memorable enough for both of them to last a lifetime. Should she just take Kara against her desk, and make her scream Lena's name so loud that it would rattle the glass panes on the wall behind them? That would be memorable enough. Her body certainly agreed with the thought.
She took one more step forward. And then Kara's hand shot out and pressed against her chest halting her movement. Why was she stopping her? Did Kara want her or not? These mixed signals were driving her crazy. Trying her best to rein in her anger, Lena looked up at Kara and tilted her head "What do you want Kara? I'm afraid you're going to have to explain yourself very quickly, because I'm this close to ignoring your hand right now, and taking what I've wanted since the first time I laid eyes on you"
She saw Kara's pain fogged eyes, sharpen with crystal clear lust at her words, before being replaced by anger. Kara said quietly "It would be unfair to you if I let you kiss me right now, especially since you might hate me for it later"
Confused and stressed by the unexpected turn that their conversation had taken, Lena raised her hand to circle the wrist pressed against her own chest. Wanting to reassure Kara that in no world, no universe was it possible for Lena to do anything less than adore Kara with every fiber in her body.
Kara sighed and dropped her hand, and for the first time that day looked away from Lena. Missing their connection, Lena reached out, only to find the reporter already making her way to the couch.
She watched as the reporter sat down. Her concern increasing rapidly at observing the glum set of Kara's jaw and the self-recrimination she saw in those blue eyes. When they finally met her own expectantly, Lena closed the space and sat down next to Kara.
Kara smiled gently at her, and Lena felt some of her tension slip away
"I am sorry. I know that I must be really scaring you. But trust me when I say this, I would like nothing more than to kiss you right now"
Answering the unspoken why in Lena's eyes, Kara looked at her intently "There's so much that you don't know about me, Lena. Haven't you ever wondered where I am from? Who I was, before I was taken in by the Danvers?"
Lena felt her heart stop. Did Kara really think that her past as a child would matter to Lena now? She knew everything that she needed to know about Kara. The courage behind her smiles, the innate compulsion to help and rescue strays like herself, her unhealthy love for junk food, and so much more. Frowning, she leaned forwards and covered Kara's hands with her own "That doesn't matter to me, Kara. I know who you are"
Smiling at their joined hands, Kara raised Lena's hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss there. Lena felt her heart yearn for Kara like it had never before. If she had been at the edge of the cliff of falling in love before, Lena felt like she was now free falling, blissfully unaware of the rocks waiting for her below
Kara sighed and looked at Lena. Reaching out she cupped her cheek and said "You'll find that it does"
Beginning to get annoyed by Kara's lack of clarification on what it was exactly that she still refused to disclose, Lena said tersely "I have told you this before Kara, and I'll say it again. I doubt that there is a single thing that you could tell me, which would change the way I feel about you"
Kara smiled apparently amused by Lena's passion. She gently ran her thumb down Lena's cheek "I don't doubt that you feel strongly for me, Lena. You are a woman who has always followed her heart. I am sure that you've never half-assed anything in your life"
Feeling smug and proud at Kara's praise, Lena said "No I haven't"
Kara chuckled softly at Lena's lack of humility. Lena smiled back encouragingly, and waited patiently. She saw the amusement in Kara's eyes give way to a quiet thoughtfulness, before being replaced by stone cold determination "I feel strongly about you too Lena. But, whether or not you choose to believe me in future, I hope that you'll believe me at least now, this one time that I tell you this..."
Lena watched with bated breath as Kara spoke quietly "I'm in love with you, Lena Luthor"
Her heart flooded with joy, and she could feel her mouth widening into a brilliant smile. Kara's eyes softened as she smiled back lovingly at Lena. And then before Lena could reach out, grab her, and kiss the adorable idiot, she stood up and looked down at Lena and said seriously
"Don't say anything just yet, love. Because your feelings might change after what I'm about to tell you. And you'll definitely hate yourself for revealing the depth of what you feel for me now, when you still don't know yet all there is to know about me"
Lena briefly considered angrily castigating the blonde idiot. How dare Kara insinuate that Lena didn't love Kara just as strongly! Her entire world revolved around Kara, unlike the blond idiot whose world was filled with a bevy of friends and suitors alike.
She saw Kara's eye silently entreat her to not speak. Disgruntled, Lena nodded and shot the blonde reporter a glare. The blonde idiot had the temerity to smile. Lena watched quietly as Kara's eyes went from fearful to determined once again "Lena…I…I wasn't born here…and by here, I mean earth. I'm…I'm an alien"
Kara waited for entire minutes for the shock in Lena's eyes to go away. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lena registered the seconds ticking away in the wall clock, as Kara stood anxiously before her waiting for Lena to snap out of it and say something.
Lena blamed herself later that day, for not having unfrozen sooner, as she dazedly saw the reporter give her one last sad smile, and walk out of her office, murmuring as she left "Call me when you're ready to talk"
A/N Please leave a review. Would mean a lot to me