A/N: When i read what i write, i feel as if i've brought parts of myself hidden even to me, onto paper. Sharing my writing is deeply personal, and something i've always wondered if i would be any good at. I refuse to be sorry about asking for reviews, and for it taking the "'fun out of reading". If you have a kind word to say please do so, otherwise reviews like the ones i' ve been reading sure takes the "fun out of writing".
Debated whether or not i should share the next chapter, but felt that if there was even one person who has stuck this long with the story, they deserve to know how this story ends. I have written the next chapter and am in the process of editing it. The chapter after that is the last one, for which i already have a draft in process
"Welcome to the DEO, Lena" Director Danvers bestowed a rare smile on Lena, before handing her a badge. Lena smiled back and pocketed the badge quickly.
"Thanks Director Danvers"
Lena watched slightly dazed, as Alex laughed and hugged her quickly "C'mon Lena! Let's drop the formalities shall we?"
Drawing back, Alex continued "We've been friends for a while now, whether or not you want to admit it. And it really is high time you joined the team, considering how many times you have saved Supergirl's ass, not to mention my own"
Lena would later blame the unexpectedly warm sensation she felt in her chest for the way she reacted. She took a decisive step forward and hugged Alex tightly, overwhelmed at having found another person who accepted her entirely for who she was. Her mind flashed back to memories of Alex's kind and sympathetic eyes, looking on as Supergirl raged at her spitting out "Things would not be sunshine and rainbows", when they were stuck in the dark valley, trying to rescue Sam. She remembered a gentle and quiet promise exchanged with the woman to do whatever it took to keep Ruby safe.
Startled, Alex gasped before hugging Lena tightly. The CEO pulled back, and the two women looked at everything else but each other, carefully avoiding eye contact.
Fixing her eyes upon a cockroach-like alien insect, which was slowly excreting a greenish yellow goo, Lena spoke "Soooo….What's the plan? You know that infiltrating the DEO was only a part of what Lex wants. He also wants me to get the Kryptonite, which is now obviously out of the question"
Alex sighed unhappily, causing Lena to look back at her sharply. Lena noted the tightness around her mouth as she spoke "I think that is a conversation you need to have with Supergirl"
Lena felt alarmed at the distress she saw so poorly concealed in Alex's eyes "What is it, Alex? What are you not telling me?"
Shaking her head, Alex threw a look over her shoulder "She's waiting for you in the training room"
Perturbed, Lena nodded to Alex, and headed inside.
The superhero was sweating. Lena watched spell bound as a bead of sweat trickled down the hero's neck and disappeared underneath her tight blue top. Her gaze trailed lower, captivated by soft mounds heaving with exertion, and lower still, where a tight abdomen flexed. Glorious sculpted biceps rippled as Supergirl extended a long staff, thrusting and parrying. Lena's eyes traveled up to find strong shoulders, back up a slender beautiful neck, past pink lips, to finally meet amused blue eyes staring back at her.
When asked later, Lena would never ever admit it, but it took her more than a couple of seconds for Supergirl's amusement to register in Lena's mind, and a couple more seconds for her to snap out of the trance she found herself in.
"Like what you see, Ms. Luthor?"
Scowling, Lena said "I was merely taken aback by the fact that you were actually perspiring. I have seen you lift an entire building with one hand, without even breaking a sweat. So obviously, I was more than a little surprised that apparently even your perfection has limits"
With an eyebrow raised, Supergirl smirked back at her, and advanced slowly "You think I'm perfect?"
Lena felt her heart stutter as she took in the sight of the majestic woman, slowly closing the distance between them. Painfully aroused, it took all of her will power to look away from the blonde angel. But retreat was not an option. She was a Luthor after all. Lena quickly walked forwards and past Supergirl, making sure to put a significant amount of distance between them.
Turning around, she faced Supergirl, and channeled her arousal into anger "I will say this one last time. Stop coming on to me. Like I've already told you I'm interested in Kara Danvers, not you"
She felt it easy to maintain her anger, when the blond angel refused to take her words seriously, and instead chose to reward Lena with a smug smile
"I am not refuting your interest in Kara Danvers, Lena. But from what I saw a few moments ago, I would say that she just is not the only woman you're interested in"
Her breath caught in her throat. Lena closed her eyes tightly in denial, refusing to acknowledge the thoughts triggered by the Superhero's words. Thoughts of, a kind and brilliant smile, that Lena had been rewarded with, when she had expressed her joy at a Luthor and a Super working together. Thoughts of strong arms catching her, and of a warm chest she had clung to in fear, as she fell off her balcony. Thoughts of a serious gaze, and a confident voice telling her that Lena would be judged on the basis of her own merits and not her last name. But that had been a lie.
Lena opened her eyes and met concerned blue eyes.
She had been judged for her name. Her personal relationships had been manipulated with the express aim of violating her privacy. She had been crucified for making a substance that would protect a friend from the beast that lived within her, all because said substance could be lethal to the Superhero.
Finding her voice, Lena said "I won't deny that I'm interested in you Supergirl. But that is as far as this can go. I'm past those days where a quick roll between the sheets would have satisfied me. And I don't think that is all of what you want from me either"
She saw the blonde angels face pale at the implication that all she wanted from Lena was sex. Touched despite herself, Lena said "All relationships, even friendships require trust. So how can there be anything between us? When you have refused to trust me so many times in the past?"
Blue eyes stricken with grief looked at her. Lena felt her heart throb painfully. Nothing should cause the blond angel such pain, least of all Lena. A part of her, which she was most certainly not proud of, longed to take the angel in her arms, take back what she had said, and comfort her.
But a larger part of her, which stubbornly clung to the betrayal she had felt, gave her the strength to remain standing stoically, as she saw the grief in those blue eyes dim.
The blond angel sighed and looked away "I know how betrayed you must have felt. And I also know you must have questioned why I took the fact that you had Kryptonite so badly, Lena. My reaction must have felt over-blown to you"
Lena could not deny the truth in those words. She saw those blue eyes study her and soften in understanding. Smiling, the blond angel looked away "You are a very loyal woman, Lena. And that is why even the slightest of betrayals, affects you so very much. Because in your mind, you would have never done the same if you were in the other's shoes. For you, breaching ones trust is the worst punishment a human being can inflict on another"
Lena looked away and swallowed hard, unwilling to digest how well the blond angel seemed to know her "I knew from the moment that I realized you had rendered the Medusa virus inert, that you would never betray your friends. And I knew that you considered me a friend as well. How could you not? Especially, considering the fact that I had saved your life at least twice by then."
The blond angel gave her a smile laced with pain "And then I broke your trust not once but twice. I yelled at you for having Kryptonite. And then I sent James on a foolhardy mission."
Lena looked spell-bound at the superhero, as she looked utterly defeated and resigned. She had caused that. She had made National's city symbol of hope, lose all her seemingly unlimited hope, merely at the thought that Lena would never ever forgive her. For the first time, Lena wondered if she was perhaps being just as unfair in holding a grudge, as Supergirl had been in accusing her.
Supergirl looked at the ground and spoke "I hope you'll allow me to explain why I reacted the way I did both times, Lena. These are not excuses, but a wish that the explanation will repair some of the hurt I have caused you. Perhaps by bringing you some understanding, and therefore some amount of closure"
Lena swallowed and looked at those defeated blue eyes. Gone was the triumph, the vitality and courage, she had come to associate with the maiden of steel. In the place of a blond angel, was a mere blonde woman, as fallible and imperfect as Lena herself. As capable of making mistakes that were foolish and devastating in its consequence, as Lena. Why had Lena never stopped to consider that the blond angel, was first and foremost a person, with her own demons and insecurities that she had to conquer every single moment of every single day? Just so she could be a hero to the city that so desperately needed her. A swell of admiration for the woman in front of her, wormed its way into Lena's heart. This was a woman whom she could relate to. A woman who tried to do her best for the city like Lena, despite the expectations that the world placed on her, all because of the family she came from.
The blond hero, apparently took her protracted silence as acquiescence. "I know that you perhaps think of me as this infallible, perfect hero. Let me assure you that I'm not"
Lena looked at the blond hero, trying for the first time to see past the cape and the symbol on her chest, and into the woman behind the costume. She was met with kind blue eyes, crinkled in a self-deprecating smile that seemed so familiar to Lena, triggering fleetingly memories as vague as, the green eyes of her mother smiling down lovingly at her.
"In some ways I'm just as human as you are, and I mean that in a non-biological sense of course. In some ways Lena, I am a lot like you. I value loyalty just as highly as you do. And I rely on my friends so much, that I place my life quite literally in their hands, not in small part due to the line of business that I am in"
The blond hero looked at her with earnest blue eyes, silently pleading for Lena to understand. The softness of those eyes, absurdly reminding Lena of a wounded puppy.
"Which is why I was so unhappy that my friend, Lena, whom I had so vehemently defended to my other friends and my own sister, as a woman who could be trusted, had chosen to go behind my back and acquire the one substance in this world that I fear the most"
Lena looked at the blond woman, her mind refusing to let go of the fact that Supergirl had a sister. That was news. Until now, Lena had thought the hero only had a cousin brother, Superman. Who was the sister? Was she also an alien like the superhero, waiting in the shadows and ready to take flight under the sun, when the time was ripe?
Because the alternative was absurd. Why would Supergirl have a human sister? Unless, she had been adopted by a human family? She looked at the blond woman with new eyes. Was there more in common between the hero and herself than she had realized?
"A part of the fear, Lex has already explained to you. He understands the physical pain it causes me. But I wonder Lena, if you can understand the emotional pain it causes me? That rock is all that is left of a planet that was once my home. Unlike Kal-El, who was too young to remember, I spent the first thirteen years of my life in Krypton. I remember the tall spires of my home city, the fresh flower blooms in my wall garden, the red glorious Rao shining high up in the Kryptonian sky, and the warm soil of my home planet under my toes. Can you begin to comprehend how I feel, when that rock, which is not only a reminder of the life I lost, but is also the only substance which can take away the new life that I've painstakingly built here on this planet?"
Lena felt her heart throb. No one deserved to go through that kind of torture, especially not the blond hero. And Lena had unwittingly found a way to cause this woman more pain.
The blond hero smiled at her tremulously "Which is why seeing it in your hands upset me. But I'll admit the anger I felt was perhaps more than what I would have felt if it had been a friend who had betrayed me. I should have realized then, that I thought of you as someone, who was so much more than just a friend"
Lena felt like her heart had jumped to her throat. She found herself unable to look away from the blond woman, who was now looking at her with soft blue eyes.
"I admit that I reacted poorly. I was so scared that you made me feel too much than I should have ever let myself to feel, that my immediate thought was to protect myself, and ensure that you had in fact not betrayed me"
Laughing derisively, Supergirl ran a restless hand through her hair "And that was the most foolish mistake I've ever made. Foolish because, of course I knew you were innocent even as I was tasking James with that absurd request to raid your lab. And a mistake, because I am deathly afraid that it has cost me then chance of being with the woman I love"
Her heart stopped at those words. Her eyes remained transfixed on the superhero, who was looking at her with such sadness and tender affection. Unable to find the voice to answer, Lena looked on mute as the blonde woman turned away, and walked towards a familiar looking silver suitcase.
The blonde woman gently reached for her hand, and placed the suitcase containing the green Kryptonite there. The very same suitcase that had caused the rift between them in the first place, when Lena had surrendered it to Supergirl. And now, the blonde hero, who had vehemently stated that she needed to be the only one in control of Kryptonite, was willingly handing it back to Lena.
Smiling gently, the blond woman cupped her cheek and said "I do trust you, Lena"
Letting her hand fall, the blond woman hungrily looked at Lena, as if it were the last time she would be allowed to do so. Giving her a small smile, the blond hero walked past Lena.
Unable to bear the finality of their parting, Lena spun around on her heels and addressed the back of the blond hero "Why?" Not really understanding if she was asking the superhero, why she had chosen to love Lena so ardently, or why such monumental trust was now being reposed in her, contrary to what had happened in the past?
Supergirl stopped and turned, meeting Lena's eyes with a gentle smile "We would never have stopped Reign or the dark witches from Argo city without your Kryptonite. I know that for you Kryptonite is a mere tool in your plan to ensure the safety of National City."
Lena just stared at the blond woman, hope and warmth flooding her chest. How had she never known that the blonde heroes understanding meant so much to her?
The blond hero paused, her eyes twinkling perhaps in reaction to the hopeful moronic way Lena must obviously be looking at her, right now. Her smile faded "And I know that I can trust you with the Kryptonite now as well. I know that you will do all that you can to prevent this from falling into Lex's hands"
Lena's heart beat painfully. Her insecurities came roaring back. What if she was unable to protect Supergirl from Lex? Dear god, the outcome was far too horrible for her to even imagine "I don't want this. Take it back"
The blonde hero took a concerned step towards her "Lena…"
Angry now at being unable to no longer deny the depth of her feelings for the woman in front of her, Lena yelled "I don't want this Kryptonite! What if Lex gets a hold of it? Dear god! What if he kills you in front of my own eyes! I am not taking it. Are you really such a huge idiot that you would gamble away your life, over some foolish romantic gesture?"
Lena felt momentarily satisfied when anger flared momentarily in the blond angel's eyes at Lena calling this monumental act of trust, a foolish romantic gesture. But that satisfaction faded away completely to be replaced by shock, when the blond angel took a long stride and grasped her arms, stilling her moment completely
"Why? Why does it matter to you if I live or die? It's like you said isn't it? We are not friends. We are nothing but acquaintances working together on a mission"
This close to angry passionate eyes, Lena was left defenseless. Years of practice as a Luthor needing to display zero emotion, rendered useless by sky blue eyes. Lena knew that her emotions were read and understood exactly for what they were, when the anger in those blue eyes were replaced with joy and exquisite tenderness
The blonde hero said in a voice that sounded breathless "Unless… you do care about me the same way that I care about you"
Furious, Lena raised her arms attempting to create distance, and was met with no resistance.
Lena took a step back and composed her face "Don't delude yourself Supergirl."
The blonde hero merely continued to watch her with a small smile playing on her lips, and said challengingly "Then take the Kryptonite, and prove that you don't care about me Lena"
Lena looked at the blond hero. She knew that without the Kryptonite, Lex would never trust her. Without the Kryptonite, Lex would kill her, meaning she was as good as dead. But with the Kryptonite, she had a chance to put Lex behind bars. But there was also a chance that Lex would kill Supergirl.
Lena took one last look at the blond superhero. The hero in front of her, deserved to live. She deserved the freedom to fly under the sun. She deserved everything that was good in this world. Lena would die before she let Lex harm the blond woman.
Without another word, she took the silver suitcase and walked out.