A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who's stuck with the story so far and reviewed. Hope you find the resolution satisfactory! Do leave me a note if you liked the chapter.
Only an epilogue pending now, which i may or may not choose to write based on reader interest. Not trying to be snobbish. Its just that I generally work 12 hr days, and i need to figure out if this fic is worth investing what little free time i do have
Darkness. All Kara could see and feel was darkness. It felt like eons had passed before the darkness gave way to the pale pink of the back her eyelids. But try as she might, Kara found herself unable to will her eyes open. They felt too heavy to move.
And so eons passed.
Until gradually, Kara felt a slow warmth spread from her chest and into her limbs. She tried and tried to move her fingers, but found that moving even a single one of them, was as difficult as trying to move an entire planet. But Kara kept on trying, until she finally managed to get them to twitch slightly. She heard a gasp, and then felt a familiar hand rest on her shoulder.
Lena. Wherever she was, Lena was with her. She had to open her eyes. She had to see Lena
Exerting more effort than she had thought possible, Kara blearily blinked her eyes open. Green eyes filled with relief came into focus above her. Her hand tried to rise up to touch that beloved face, but was unequal to the task. Despite her will, Kara could no longer keep her eyes open. She faded away unwillingly back to the darkness, but knew that this time around, she would find herself out of it quicker. She had to, because Lena was waiting, and Kara had to go to her.
"You're sure she was awake Lena?" she heard her sister say in a voice that was filled with so much trepidation. Kara longed to wake up, so she could hug her sister, and apologize for the hell she must have put her through. Despite her sister, screaming in her ear to not surrender herself to Lex, Kara had done exactly that.
"Yes, Alex! For the last time, she was awake for a couple of seconds" snapped Lena
"What did she do? Did she say something?" asked Alex. Kara could sense Alex's restlessness at being unable to be of any use to her comatose sister.
"No…I mean..i think she tried to…" Kara heard Lena clear her throat gruffly, before speaking in a matter of fact tone "I think she tried to touch my face, but that was probably just an automatic reflex to ascertain if I am real or a dream"
Kara heard her sister's answering snort "I have no doubt that my sister is dreaming of you, Lena. What else could have her so happy, and reluctant to leave and join the rest of us waiting here, in the land of the living?"
Despite herself, Kara felt her heartrate pick up in response to Alex's words. She would really have to get her sister back for this.
Startled by the increase in her heart rate, Lena demanded harshly "What? What is going on? Why is her heart rate spiking?"
She heard the tell-tale noise of her sister bustling about her bedside "Sssh..She's waking up! She's waking up!"
Kara felt her sister's hands, lovingly stroke her forehead "Kara?... Honey? Wake up, c'mon now…I am right here, sweety. Focus on my voice. Open your eyes..thats it..c'mon now"
Leaning into the sound of her sister's beloved voice, Kara opened her eyes and focused on her sister's happy face. She smiled reassuringly at her, and flexed her arms, relieved to find that the bone deep weariness had now fled her system. Stretching underneath the sun lamp, Kara wiggled her toes, and turned her head to see the woman she loved.
Standing over her bedside with arms folded, Lena looked back at her with an inscrutable expression. Despite, Lena's closed off demeanor, Kara couldn't help but be grateful to see her alive. Her eyes drunk in the woman from head to toe, desperately scanning for any sign of injury. Heaving a sigh of relief, Kara looked intently at Lena and asked "Are you alright?"
She saw a muscle twitch in Lena's clenched jaw, just before the CEO furiously unfolded her arms and hissed at her "Am I alright? Do you even realize the irony of that question? You have been in and out of a coma for the past 2 days, and you're asking ME if I'm alright?!"
Flinching, Kara looked down at the ill-concealed anger in the CEO's voice. She turned around to look helplessly at her sister. Alex looked back at her and took a step back, "Your vitals are strong. You seem to be doing fine. I want you under the sun bed for the next 24 hours. Don't even think about getting out of it, missy." Gesturing to the bedside table, she said "Water, in case you're thirsty" before turning around abruptly and walking out of the room
Kara's jaw dropped open in disbelief. The traitor! Her sister had chosen to willingly leave behind Kara to get chewed out by one very angry CEO. Payback was really going to be a bitch, Alex
She looked back at Lena, who was now pointedly ignoring her and looking at the monitor recording her vitals. Going by the tenseness of those broad shoulders, Kara knew that the CEO was very close to bolting. Kara gulped nervously. She knew that once the CEO was out the door, Kara may never again be allowed the chance to see her. Not that Kara would blame her, considering that Lena was now fully aware of her identity, and by consequence her deception.
Kara racked her mind, desperate to find a suitable conversation topic that would keep Lena by her side for just a little bit longer
"Not that I'm not glad that I'm here, but how exactly did I get here? I mean…what happened after… you know? How did…how did you escape?"
Lena turned and regarded her with cool green eyes. Kara's heart slowed and rolled painfully at the aloofness she saw in those eyes "You mean, what happened after you lost consciousness and your heart stopped beating? And how did I manage to escape Lex?"
Gulping nervously, Kara realized that the CEO was beyond furious with her for having risked her life to save Lena. She nodded sheepishly and tried for a small smile, hoping that it would somehow ease at least a part of Lena's anger
She watched in great relief, as the CEO regarded her for a quiet moment, before sighing and walking to sit in a chair placed by her bedside. With a start, Kara realized that this was where Lena must have been sitting when Kara woke up the first time. She greedily drank in the woman's features as she sat at Kara's bedside, head bowed and focused on her clasped hands. Kara noticed the wrinkled clothes, the stray hair escaping from Lena's austere bun, and felt hope stir in her chest. The CEO had been by her side the entire time she had been recovering. That was a good sign wasn't it? It probably meant that Lena would stay with Kara, right?
Green eyes rose up to meet hers. Lena frowned, puzzled by the momentary happiness she must have seen in Kara's eyes. She said "To answer your second question. I knew that if brainy was given the access codes to hack into my network, he would be able to hack into the nanorobots and release me. I also knew that the green martian was nearby and that all I needed to do was to think about the access codes and hope that he picked it up telepathically. But the green martian hesitated to act until he was sure that the timing was right. He was so worried that my brother, would activate some other failsafe, if he had caught wind of the nanorobots being reprogrammed. His delay almost cost you your life"
Lena looked away then, the muscle on her jaw convulsing. Kara knew that tic very well. That muscle only ever twitched when Lena felt the need to use her Luthor façade to contain strong emotions. It was something she had observed whenever Lena interacted with her mother, and the fact that she felt the need to do the same with Kara, made Kara utterly hate herself.
Oblivious to Kara's internal diatribe against herself, Lena continued speaking to her clasped hands now resting primly on her lap "As to your first question on what happened after your heart stopped beating" Kara watched amazed as Lena's façade slipped away. The brunette exhaled shakily, and raised teary eyes to look at the ceiling, desperately trying to will the tears back in her eyes. Years of being trained to always maintain her stoic exterior as a Luthor, slipping away at the agony she must have felt when she had thought she had lost Kara.
Composing herself, Lena got up and walked away from Kara. With her back turned firmly to Kara, she said "From the moment I met you as Supergirl, I had been working on an antidote for the green Kryptonite. When I first decided to synthesize green K to help Reign, I knew that I could never do so, without having a way to reverse the effects, if it was ever used against you. I also built a suit to protect you, just in case the green K was ever used to contaminate the atmosphere, with the tech that I had created to repel the daxamite invasion"
Kara closed her eyes. Why had she reacted so poorly? She should have known better that Lena would never have synthesized green K, without having a way to reverse it. This was Lena after all. Her plan B's had plan Bs.
She swung her legs off the bed and forced herself to stand. Walking to Lena, she gently placed an arm on her shoulder "I'm sorry Lena. I should never have doubted you"
Lena swiveled to face Kara, her eyes a stormy mix of emotions that flitted across too fast for Kara to be able to decipher "I don't doubt that you trust me with your life, Kara. I have always known that you trusted me with your life as Supergirl, despite what I may have told you. And this entire instance with Lex has more than proved that to me."
Feeling fear rise in her chest at the hurt she still saw swiveling in Lena's eyes, she stepped forwards and cupped her cheek "Then what is it?"
Lena closed her eyes and leaned her face into Kara's warmth. A small smile crept across Kara's face at the gesture.
But then Lena's eyes opened, and she took a step back. Kara's hand fell uselessly to her side "Do you know how much I love the both of you, Kara Danvers and Supergirl?"
Kara's heart stopped. She had of course known for some time now that Lena loved her. But hearing it from the lips of the woman was something else entirely.
Shaking herself out of her daze, Kara saw the storm brewing behind those green eyes.
"Do you have any idea what it felt like to be torn between the two of you? And do you have any idea what it felt like to then realize that the two of you were the same? You never trusted me Kara"
Kara felt a sob rip out of her throat as she stepped forwards, desperate to bridge the distance between them. Lena raised her hand, stopping her motion "I know what you're about to say. You did give me the green K to hand over to Lex."
Kara watched on mutely, as Lena looked at her with sorrow written across her face "You trusted me with your life, but you couldn't trust me with your heart Kara. Because if you had, you would have told me that you and Supergirl were the same a long time back. In the end I was nothing more than a pawn in your elaborate game to win my heart completely, as both Kara and Supergirl. And that hurts more than anything."
Kara felt her heart thud noisily in her chest, as she felt Lena's words sink in, her brain reeling completely with the weight of the truth behind them. She could do nothing but watch as Lena walked away from her, and paused at the door. Looking over her shoulder, she whispered "Don't come after me"
xx—xx—xx—xx—xx
Lena ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She had been uselessly staring at the same diagram for the last half an hour. Her mind, her one trusty ally was failing her. Rogue thoughts of a blond woman kept creeping in, again and again, destroying her focus completely.
She glumly looked up at the clock. Five minutes to 1 p.m. This was about the time, she would have usually barged in with lunch. Against her will, Lena cast a longing look at the door.
Sighing, Lena leaned her chair back and looked up at the ceiling.
It had been 2 days since she last saw the woman. Two excruciating days without seeing those cheerful clear blue eyes. There were no news reports of a certain superhero either. It looked like the woman had taken her sisters advice and chosen to lay low for a while to recover from the torture Lex had put her through. A small nagging thought in Lena's mind whispered that she was perhaps lying low to also nurse the heart that Lena had broken.
Frowning at that thought, Lena snapped back upright and glared furiously at her monitor. That woman only had herself to blame. She was the one who had chosen to be dishonest from the start with Lena. And Lena would be damned if she let thoughts of that woman interfere with the running of her company. She sat up determined and stared back at the monitor, furiously willing herself to work. But her heart would not keep quiet. She looked past her PC and her gaze landed on the couch. Memories of them sitting together, laughing as they enjoyed a big belly burger, came flooding in, squeezing her already aching heart.
A knock on the door startled her from her melancholy thoughts. Eve came in and handed her a book sized envelope "Delivery from CatCo"
Lena took the envelope and tore it open, puzzled. She hadn't been expecting any deliveries today "Who is it from?"
Eve shrugged and said "It came from the office of James Olsen"
Frowning, Lena reached inside and retrieved a small leather journal. Curiosity peaked, she opened the journal to its first page. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw petals belonging to a myriad of flowers, pressed into each page of the journal. She rapidly flipped through the journal, until she found a small card pressed into its middle.
Holding up the card, she read
"Lena,
Each page in this journal has petals from the 100s of bouquets you sent to fill my office on the day I first saved your life. When I saw those flowers, I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that you deserved all of my trust. I resolved then and there that I would tell you who I am. But then I saw you, and you said that Kara Danvers, not Supergirl was your hero…
And I could do nothing else but foolishly cling on to that rare gift, one which I had never been afforded before. A gift that no one else other than you has given to me. The gift to just be myself.
That was also the day I knew that I would one day fall in love with you.
I was right.
- Kara"
Lena felt tears prickle the corner of her eyes. As though sensing that the card was from the woman, Eve asked timidly "Will Ms. Danvers be joining you for lunch? Or would you like me to set up a reservation for the two of you at that Chinese place, Ms. Danvers loves?"
Placing the card back in the journal, Lena opened a drawer, and furiously shoved the journal in it. Slamming the drawer shut, she gave her very best scary smile to Eve, whose mouth promptly dropped open in fear
"That will absolutely NOT be necessary. Also make sure to inform security that Ms. Danvers is not to be allowed inside the premises, no matter what the circumstances"
Swiveling her chair to decisively face the monitor, Lena raised an eyebrow at her assistant, who was looking at her with an expression of concern. Collecting herself, Eve nodded shakily and hurried out of the building.
Lena thought furiously to herself. She would not let that woman manipulate her once again. No matter what she did, Lena's defenses would never ever be worn down again. She would never again let anyone get so close to her. No matter how many smiles that woman had brought her, the kind of pain she was feeling now, was definitely not worth it.
Lena did her best to ignore the voice in her head that said that the pain was more than worth the happiness she had brought to Lena's dark and lonely life. She shook her head resolutely. Lena Luthor would not let herself be wooed. Especially not by a woman who had broken her trust on so many levels.
xx—xx—xx-
Lena lay down on her couch, nursing her fifth glass of wine.
Things were not just getting out of hand, but were now bordering on getting utterly ridiculous.
The flower journal, had been followed with lunch deliveries from Noonans, Big Belly burger and then a patisserie in France that Lena remembered vaguely mentioning in a conversation to the woman.
The woman had sent her the last pot sticker she had saved and it had taken all of Lena's will power to not smile at the gesture. And then the woman had the temerity to send the only friend she had left in the world, to her. Sam had arrived with Ruby in tow. And she had listened patiently to Lena.
Elated at discovering that her friend was also the superhero who had saved her, upset at the way the woman had chosen to keep her secret hidden from Lena, thoughtful at having found out that she had pursued Lena both as the superhero and her human alter ego, and finally smiling softly at the barrage of gifts Lena had been receiving in the last week.
When Lena had told her that she had absolutely no intention of giving in to the woman's relentless efforts to romance her, Sam had merely snorted and proceeded to cover it up, by pretending to take a sip of wine.
And then today, Lena had received a bracelet with a curious symbol carved on it. It had taken less time than Lena was proud to admit, to decipher that the symbol was Kryptonian, and even less time for her to reach for Lex's research and begin decoding the meaning of the symbol
Lena looked down at the bracelet in her hand, her eyes tracing over the symbol shaped like two interlocking diamonds. She knew the meaning of it now
Eternity
It was time for her to confront the woman. Time for her to tell her to stop sending Lena gifts. At this rate, Lena had no doubt that the next gift she would receive would be an engagement ring.
For the first time in a week, Lena let herself think of that name. That one name, which had the power to destroy all of Lena's carefully built walls, filling Lena's heart with more emotions than she knew how to handle
Kara.
Lena let herself whisper the name like a prayer.
She had to meet Kara and tell her to stop. Her heart was simply not equipped to handle any more of this.
xx—xx—xx
Kara stood at her door. She had heard that familiar beloved heart beat coming closer and closer. Kara swayed on the spot, tears threatening to spill over at finally having that beloved sound so close to her after so much time.
She wiped her eyes furiously, not wanting the tears to cloud her vision and prevent her from taking in the sight of the woman she loved. A vision that she had been denied for far too long. She waited impatiently as determined footsteps made their way down the corridor. Kara heard her hesitate for a breath, before a fist was raised and a resolute knock sounded on the door.
Kara yanked the door open, startling Lena mid-motion. The dark haired woman's mouth fell open in a gasp and her hand froze mid-air. Green eyes caught her own. The two woman merely stood at the door, drinking each other in.
Blinking herself out of the trance, and wanting Lena to come into her apartment so she could keep the CEO with her for some time, Kara moved aside and asked gently "Coming in?"
She watched the dark haired woman swallow nervously, before she looked away from Kara and entered the apartment resolutely. Kara watched Lena's back and shut the door, quietly smiling to herself, when the motion caused the CEO to flinch slightly with nerves.
She saw Lena's fists clench as she looked down studying Kara's floor. She heard the woman take a deep breath, before she turned around and faced Kara with resolution etched in her face.
Kara steeled herself, waiting for the CEO to begin berating her, but found herself confused when the resolution in the CEOs face faded away into a quiet desperation.
Concerned blue eyes tracked the CEO, as Lena made her way to the couch and sank down gracelessly.
Kara followed her tentatively, and took a seat, making sure to keep a respectful distance between them.
She saw the CEO nervously swallow, and look resolutely at nothing but Kara's TV "This entire week I have found myself asking the same question over and over again. Why? Why Kara didn't you tell me?"
Kara swallowed down her guilt. Despite the fact that the circumstance was less than ideal, Kara finally had the luxury of being honest with Lena, and that made Kara feel free for the first time
"I wanted to…so many times"
Lena waved her hand "I'm not talking about before…I'm talking about after.." She turned around to face Kara furiously "After you came into my office and told me that you loved me"
Kara flinched at the ferocity of Lena's expression. All her carefully constructed arguments, all the words she had memorized carefully as she lay awake in bed, dreaming about what she would say if she were to ever find herself alone with Lena, flew out of her mind. She stammered gracelessly "I…I didn't know if you would ever let yourself love me if you were to find out that I was Supergirl"
She saw barely contained fury make its way into Lena's eyes. Knowing that she would perhaps never ever get a chance to make things right again, Kara knew that the words she spoke now would have to be the right ones. A feat that seemed impossible, now that she had finally found herself in the company of the woman she craved, after so long. All Kara could think about was wanting to mentally catalogue those brilliant green eyes, despite the fury she saw in them.
She saw Lena's strong jaw clench "And am I supposed to take it that your need to make me fall in love with you, trumps my choice to love or not love you?"
Perturbed, Kara saw the woman exhale loudly and look away. The woman placed her hands on her knees and made a motion as if to get up.
Reaching out with uncertain arms, Kara almost touched those tense shoulders but held back at the last moment "Wait Lena! Please hear me out this once! And I promise that after listening to me, if you find my reasons insufficient, I.., I will abide by your decision, no matter what that may be! But, please listen to me. Please don't…don't leave"
Kara held back the "me" she wanted to so desperately tag on to that last sentence. Just as she held back the sob that was threatening to burst out.
Green eyes looked at her, anger fading quickly at the anguish in Kara's eyes, to be replaced by a neutral expression that Kara absolutely loathed. Lena should never have to conceal the way she felt from Kara.
She watched in relief as Lena sighed and looked away. The woman wrapped her arms about herself, looking lost for a moment. Kara ached to reach out and comfort her, but knew that she had lost that right. She saw the CEO nod glumly and sit back on the couch.
Caressing those tense features with her eyes, Kara made up her mind to hold nothing back. She began softly "You know, home is such a strange concept. When I was 13, home meant the strong soft arms of my mother, the red sky of my planet, and the tall spires of Argo city"
She smiled as Lena's eyes met hers, curiosity replacing the hurt in them. Even now, at her lowest, Lena could not turn off her brilliant mid, as it eagerly scrambled to store this new piece of information. Extending her arm behind the couch, in an effort to be closer, Kara said gently "When I came here, to this planet, I knew that I would never ever find home again. The closest I ever came to finding it, was with Alex. But even she doesn't see me as just Kara. She can never forget for one moment that I have these powers, because she is always afraid that I'm going to get myself in trouble because of them. No matter how hard she tries, she can never look at me and see me without my powers"
Kara looked at Lena, and wondered if she realized that her eyes had softened with sympathy and tenderness. Bolstered by the obvious care she saw in those eyes, Kara said softly "Imagine then, what it must have felt like to finally find home again. Imagine what it must have felt like for someone, who has felt lost and adrift in this vast cosmos, to finally find an anchor."
Smiling at the question she saw in Lena's eyes, and the impatience she saw in parted red lips, Kara said "Imagine what it must have felt like for me, when someone said that I was their favorite, and not Supergirl. I cannot tell you how immeasurably priceless I found the gift you gave me Lena. The gift of you seeing me for just me, and not my powers, and admiring me, just for me and not my powers. I knew then that home was a place where I felt completely myself. And I knew from the day you said Kara Danvers and not Supergirl was your hero, that I had found my home with you. And that is a concept which I thought I had lost forever. You made the lost 13 year old girl in me, shipwrecked and alone in the vastness of space, with no chance of returning to her lost planet, feel at home Lena"
Kara reached out and gently rubbed the moisture about to leak from the corner of Lena's eyes. "I know that what I did was unforgivably selfish. But I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Of losing my home Lena. Not again."
Shaking her head as she saw Lena about to say something, she said "Please let me finish. I am not done. There is so much that you need to hear. If you were to walk out of this door right now, I need to make sure that you don't at least walk out, feeling like you haven't had the closure you so richly deserve"
Clasping her hands in front of her, Kara began "I wanted to tell you that I am Supergirl for such a long time. Especially after the entire Kryptonite debacle. I wanted to tell you how foolish I was to have not trusted you. I wanted to tell you how utterly idiotic I was to not trust my best friend. But I couldn't. I saw how quickly, how completely you shuttered yourself from a part of me, after our very first argument then. I couldn't bear it if you shut Kara Danvers out as well. I knew then that what i felt for you was beyond what someone feels for their best friend"
Kara sighed as she saw the shutters back in Lena's eyes "Perhaps you can forgive Supergirl not trusting you. But I know you must find it difficult to forgive the fact that Kara Danvers did not. I know that you've wondered why Supergirl had cause to lash out so vehemently against you. The reason has always been the same. I loved you completely, not just as Kara Danvers, or supergirl, but with every fibre of my being. I couldn't digest the fact that Lena, my best friend and the woman I loved, was the one who had actively tried to find a way to manufacture the substance I abhor the most on this planet."
She saw Lena sigh and run a restless hand through her hair "Kara, now that I know who you really are, it isn't really that difficult to understand why you acted the way I did. And you know as well as I do that in light of recent events, we've both put the entire kryptonite thing behind us…so, please don't skirt around the real issue here"
Kara gulped nervously "I am not trying to. I just want to make sure that I leave nothing unsaid"
She saw those inscrutable green eyes, trained patiently on hers again. Unable to look anymore into those eyes, which had once been filled with so much warmth for her, Kara looked away and clasped her hands in front of her "I didn't know what to do Lena. You were so angry with Supergirl. I knew that if I were to tell you who I am, you would never again let me be close to you again. You would shove what you felt for me into one of those tiny boxes that you build in your mind, and shut me out forever. And perhaps I could live with the remainder of my life without seeing your smile, without you, without my home. I have done it before, although this time around I am not entirely sure I would have survived."
Seeing Lena flinch at those words, Kara smiled wryly "I would have told you my secret even then. Despite the surety of never seeing you again, if the only cost of my decision had been my happiness. But what about yours, Lena? I am not trying to brag here Lena, but I know how much I mean to you, despite what you may or may not have said explicitly. I knew that if you chose to shut me out, you would walk away embittered. You would trust the world even less, and never ever let anyone get close to you again. I knew that the world would never again be a place filled with light and hope, but a dark gloomy place to you. How could it be otherwise, knowing that you had been betrayed by the one person whom you trusted? I knew that if I were to divulge my secret, I would push you into deciding on spending your life all alone. And I would never be able to forgive myself for robbing you of any chance of future happiness"
Kara lifted her gaze and saw green eyes filled with tears staring back at her. Her gaze lowered to see trembling lips caught between pearly teeth. She continued gently "I knew that the only way this would end well, for the secret to not be a crime any longer, was if I could get you to forgive the one part of me you disliked so violently. Somehow in my mind I figured that if you were to like and trust supergirl again, then you would perhaps not be so mad at me, when I told you that I was Supergirl. That perhaps me being Supergirl wouldn't be as big a deal to you, and things would somehow be magically alright"
She smiled sheepishly at the incredulous look she received. Rubbing her hands in embarrassment, Kara continued "But then I admit that my plan to get you to like Supergirl got out of hand. I miscalculated. I only thought you would like Supergirl as a friend. But the way you looked at me when I was Supergirl was intoxicating to me. The way you admired Kara Zor-el, made me feel like I was back in Krypton, on the seat of the high council I was once destined to take. And I felt an illicit pleasure in being able to pursue you, in a way that I never could as shy, meek and ordinary Kara Danvers."
Seeing the anger in Lena's eyes, she smiled "I am a moron. I should have known that to you, Supergirl would never hold a candle to Kara Danvers. It's funny. I was supposed to be the smartest child of my generation in Krypton. And yet when it came to the most important relationship in my life, I have made the dumbest mistakes of my life"
Seeing the smirk on Lena's face, Kara chuckled and leaned back, running her hand through her hair. She had said all there had been to say. And even to her ears it felt insufficient, lacking somehow. She could have done so many things better. But she hoped that at least she had helped assuage whatever bitterness Lena must be feeling. She hoped that when Lena walked out of that door, her heart would still be open and trusting, and that she would still have some hope left in her.
"I know how difficult this must be for you Lena. I am not asking you to forgive me. I certainly don't think I deserve it. All I want for you is happiness. And I know that if you don't understand why I acted the way I did, then you will only blame yourself for my bad decisions. And perhaps wrongly feel guilty of your decision. I just want you to know that your decision was the right one. And I hope that you'll never doubt for one instance that you deserve all the happiness in the world Lena. All through this, your behavior has been nothing but honorable. You have done nothing but prove that you are bone deep good Lena."
She felt the couch beside her shift.
"So to summarize, you didn't tell me that you were Supergirl because you thought that I would shut myself off from the world, and close myself of from all chance of future happiness?"
Kara gulped and nodded, staring ahead resolutely, too afraid to see what she would find if she were to turn and look into those green eyes. Her judgement was surely coming. She would once again know what it was like to lose her home.
She heard Lena exhale shakily "I outsmarted Lex, and I've built tech that is light years ahead of what anyone on earth could possibly build. I was a part of MENSA, and there is no one else on this planet who has an IQ higher than mine. And despite all this so called brilliance, I can't believe that my mind never caught onto the fact that you are supergirl. And it should have. All those lame excuses. You actually once told me that you flew in a bus!"
She looked at Lena then, only to see anguished green eyes looking back at her. Lena laughed bitterly "But my heart knew. All this time it knew exactly who you were underneath that cape. It knew. Why else would I act out so harshly to a superhero whom I knew was justified in being angry at having been lied at? Why would I so callously refuse to forgive Supergirl, despite the numerous times she begged and pleaded. My heart knew all along that it was you. And then when you asked me to look at you, see you as someone who was not infallible as Supergirl appeared, who was just as human and just as capable of making mistakes, it knew. My gut was screaming at me to recognize the blond angel in front of me. It was screaming at me to put two and two together, when you confessed that you had a sister. But my brain refused to accept that both the blond women who confessed their love for me, were infact one and the same. All because a big part of me refused to believe that my best friend could keep such a huge secret for me. "
Despite herself, Kara reached out to touch tense arms "Lena…I can't tell you how sorry…"
Lena ripped her arms away from Kara's touch and she stood up "You're sorry? What exactly are you sorry for Kara? Are you sorry for having lied to me throughout the course of our friendship? Or are you sorry that it has all come to this despite your best efforts to prevent this from happening?"
Unable to stop the tears trailing from her eyes, Kara reached out, "Please Lena..Dont be so upset…Please"
She didn't know what she was begging for. All she wanted to do was to take away the pain she saw brimming over in Lena's eyes. She would give anything to erase that pain
She saw those green eyes look at her strangely "Please what? Please don't leave so upset, Lena? Or is it please don't leave me, Lena?"
Kara felt her heart stop. She would not be weak. She would never ever put her needs in front of the woman who stood before her now "Please don't leave so upset, Lena. Let me make this up to you. Please"
She saw Lena swallow painfully "How? How are you going to make this up to me? What more could you possibly be willing to part with, to sacrifice, to make this right?"
Kara searched those green eyes that continued to look at her strangely, and voiced the only thought in head "Anything…I would give everything up to make this right Lena…Just! Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it!"
Her heart stopped as she saw resolution make its way into those green eyes, and she saw Lena take one quick step, closing the distance between them. Lena's sweet breath washed over her lips, and Kara closed her eyes, unable to resist the heady sensation of her senses being suddenly flooded with all things Lena.
"Kiss me"
Her eyes flew open in shock. She couldn't have heard that right. She looked into green eyes which were now staring into her own with amusement
"You are right. You are a moron if you thought that I was capable of holding a grudge against you. I challenge you to find even one universe where I am capable of staying mad at you"
Kara felt hope bloom so quickly in her chest, that it became unbearably painful. But despite the amusement she now saw in those green eyes, she couldn't help but question her good fortune. How could Lena possibly find it in herself to forgive her? Why would she forgive her?
A gentle hand came up to cup her cheek, and a rough calloused thumb gently stroked her cheek. Her powers had always made her supersensitive, but nothing could have prepared her for this touch. She felt the caress, trickle down her neck, settle in her chest, and bloom warmth into her stomach.
Answering the unspoken question in her eyes, Lena said "You don't have a selfish bone in your body. I remember the pain in your eyes when you held yourself back from kissing me, after you confessed that you loved me. I remember the concern in your eyes when you revealed your identity to me as you took what you thought must have been your dying breath. You weren't even concerned that you were dying . All you wanted was to make sure that I hear the truth about you from your own lips, instead of hearing it from your sister. I knew the moment you let my monster of a brother inject Kryptonite into you that you loved me. And now that I know that you love me so much that it obscures even your awesome alien intelligence, into concocting harebrained schemes, all I want to do is kiss you"
There was no stopping it now. The hope she felt now, spilled as tears from her eyes. Green eyes softened, as they gently caught and rubbed way the tears trickling down her cheek.
"In all your dumb calculations, how did you never stop to consider, that just as you can't stay away from me, I can't bear to stay away from you either? Why do you think I am here in your apartment you moron?...ok, now stop crying. You're such a big adorable cry baby"
Kara laughed at those teasing eyes, and flung herself into Lena's arms. Feeling the heart beneath her beat in an unfamiliar new rhythm that was beautifully fast, Kara sighed happily
She felt an insistent hand tug her back, and saw green eyes searching her face before they dropped to her lips, and then look back into her eyes hesitantly.
With a trembling hand, Kara exerted all her will power to be gentle as she cupped Lena's face and brought their lips together.
The entire world exploded. The velvet of Lena's lips slid against hers, and stoked a desire so complete that it had Kara moaning. Impatient, Lena pressed closer, and Kara's body awoke exultantly, pinpricks of desire flooding at every point Lena's body met her own. The delicious swell of Lena's breasts beneath her own, the fullness of her waist against her fingertips, had Kara opening herself to Lena's insistent tongue, now slowly stroking her lips and her desire.
When she felt Lena's tongue slide and tangle with her own, Kara stopped thinking altogether as she surrendered to the sweet spiciness of Lena's taste, more addictive than the spiciest potsticker, and sweeter than Noonan's best sticky bun. But when Lena's teeth gently tugged at her lower lip, Kara felt her desire overwhelm her, and her fingers itch to crush Lena against her. Opening her eyes, at the realization that such an action would quite literally crush Lena, Kara gasped and pulled away
Seeing dazed green eyes open and meet her own, Kara felt her self-control slip dangerously. She saw the brunette swallow, and speak with a voice grown hoarse with desire
"Wow! I guess third time is the charm. Who knew that I, the great Lena Luthor would actually have to beg someone thrice to get them to kiss me"
Unable to stop herself, Kara kissed Lena "You won't have to ever again" she whispered. Enjoying the way, Lena shivered at the huskiness of her voice, Kara wrapped her arms around Lena and hoisted her up.
Lena moaned at the show of strength, and wrapped her legs tightly around Kara's waist. Unbearably turned on, Kara reached up with a free hand and tugged at Lena, crushing her lips against Kara's. Drowning in the sensation of Lena's lips moving sensuously against her own, Kara blindly made her way to the couch and sat down. Closing her eyes, she laid her head back as Lena apparently unsatisfied with kissing her mouth alone, drew back and began trailing kisses down her neck. Quick nimble fingers had already undone the buttons on her shirt, and were now splayed against her abdomen. Lena moaned against her neck and bit down gently, as her fingers greedily explored the musculature of Kara's abdomen.
Feeling her control slip away entirely, Kara moved her hands away from Lena and placed them on the couch on either side.
Perturbed by the absence of Kara's hands on her, Lena drew back. Reluctantly, Kara opened her eyes and met bashful green eyes staring at her "Sorry! Was that too much? I am sorry. I didn't mean to rush you. We can go slow love…. if you want."
She smiled at the endearment. Kara wondered if it was possible for a Kryptonian to get a heart attack. Feeling her desire fade away and tenderness take its place, Kara braved placing a gentle hand on Lena's thigh around her, and stroked gently
"Say that again"
She saw a dark eyebrow arch in amusement, and green eyes laugh into hers "You first!"
Smiling Kara cupped Lena's cheek and looked deep into those eyes, wanting to convey in its entirety the depth of her love for the woman straddling her "I love you, Lena"
She saw infinite tenderness replace the amusement in those eyes. Warm lips pressed against her forehead, and Kara closed her eyes. A soft whisper floated down like a benediction
"I am so in love with you, Kara Zor-el Danvers"
She felt those words spark something and set her veins on fire. Grasping the back of Lena's neck, she brought those velvet lips to hers again. She felt every ache, every past pain slip away, as Lena kissed her languidly, slow sweet and deep.
Parting, Lena rested her forehead against Kara's "We had better stop, or I am not going to stop myself from taking you to bed"
Kara felt herself shiver deliciously at the words. Seeing the hesitance in Lena's eyes, Kara quickly assuaged "Its not that I don't want to. Trust me I want to! I mean..you're you..and I'm me..and we're in love..and I want to..god, I want to!"
Stopping, when she heard the music of Lena'a laughter, Kara couldn't do anything more than smile dopily at the woman in her arms
"Its just that I need to learn how to control my strength around you. Just give me a little time to get used to this…I've…I've never done this with a human before"
She watched as Lena looked at her gently, and turned her face into the hand that reached to cup her cheek "Take all the time you need Kara. I would wait an eternity for you"
Smiling, Kara laid back on the couch, and pulled Lena on top of her
"Well you're in luck. Cause you won't have to wait that long to make out with me"
Kara gulped at the devilish smile Lena gave her and closed her eyes, submitting to what she now knew would be pure sexual torture. But smiling despite it all, because she finally had the woman, whom she loved, her soulmate, in her arms.
A/N: Please do leave a note. Dying to know your thoughts on this fic