He doesn't really know when it starts. It just happens. His eyes start to wander, and he feels this sort of longing when he looks at couples. A longing that won't go away, and so, his eyes start to wander.
He first starts looking at the chest. He chalks this up to hormones.
His eyes skims over chests, not really in perversion but out of curiosity, out of interest to see what interests him. He decides, and this he knows is stereotypical, he likes breasts that are big. But he looks at passing women with a large bust, but none of them makes his heart beat fast. So he keeps looking.
His eyes wander below the breasts, down to the hips. Again, this instinct he blames on his hormones.
His eyes wander. He decides that he likes wider hips. Skinny but not skinny. He decides he likes a woman with curves. A curvy woman. But he comes across a curvy woman, and she does not make his heart beat fast despite her interest in him. So he keeps looking.
His eyes wander. He wants a curvy woman, but at what height? He decides he wants her short. Someone who would fit into him. As if she were designed for him. But he comes across a short, curvy woman, and she does not make his heart beat fast. So he keeps looking.
His eyes wander. A woman passes him, and her hair that flows behind her. He decides he wants a woman with long hair. Hair that he can wrap his finger in, that he can run his hands through. Hair that trails after her like he will. But he finds a long-haired, short, curvy woman, and she does not make his heart beat fast. So he keeps looking.
His eyes wander. And wander. And wander. Because each woman that he passes do not make his heart beat faster. Each woman, no matter if she has all the criteria of his ideal woman, fall short. Fall short to who? He doesn't know. But maybe he should give up. Maybe he should just…
"What's wrong, Kurosaki-kun?"
He turns towards her.
She has it. All of it. What he wants, she's it. And maybe he based each quality he strives to seek out in other women on her. Maybe this woman, this important person who makes his heart beat fast, is his ideal woman. But she's off limits. As she always will be. And maybe this longing, this longing to be with someone, is not a longing to be with anyone. Maybe it's just a longing to be with her. But it'll stop at that. Longing. Yearning. Wanting.
He smiles.
"Nothing, Inoue."
So his eyes keep wandering.