Chapter 17- Cause, Effect, And Voids In Between

"That's-" Jay shrunk into himself. "You can't- You don't mean that.

"I would never do anything to hurt you. Not- Not deliberately. I wanted to tell you, Cole, I really did." Jay struggled to straighten himself, struggled to get Cole to understand. But the sharp anger in those grey eyes only made him want to crumble. "I know holding on to the secret was wrong. I know. But I did my best to try and make your life better. I. . . I love you, Cole. Just let me-"

"Shut up, okay? Just shut up." Cole ran his hand through his hair. "I'm done with this, and I'm done with you. I'm done."

"Just listen, please." Jay reached out for Cole's hand. Cole moved away.

"Stay away from me, okay?" Cole could see the tears shining very clearly in Jay's eyes. But he didn't care. "Go wish for someone else."

Cole turned roughly and stomped away.

He could hear Jay shouting his name behind him. But he did not turn. Cole was nearly panting with the rush of feelings. He wanted to scream. He wanted to break something. He wanted to ask the world why it had decided to pick on him of all people.

All Cole had ever done was try to be kind. Understanding. Good.

But why did he bother to try? Every one of his good actions had been twisted and used against him, in one way or the other. No point in trying. No point in putting any sort of effort. No point.

Cole drove fast. He knew it was a bad idea to drive while he was still agitated, but he needed to get away. Needed to get home, lock himself in his room, and never come out again. To hell with everything else. He was done. Done with everyone, and all the secret plans they held for him. Done.

The truck skidded to a stop, almost smashing straight through the closed garage door of his house. Cole hopped out. His shirt caught on the door as he shut it. With an irritated growl, Cole tugged, ripping the fabric. He laughed humorlessly. "Thanks, Jay."

"Cole?"

At the sound of his father's voice, Cole turned, leaving a bit of his shirt still clinging to the truck. "What?"

His father was taken aback by the rough response. "I- uh- I didn't expect you back so soon. I thought you were going to hang out with your. . . friends."

"No. I'm home now. It doesn't matter." Cole marched to the front door. Or meant to, in any case. His father placed a hand upon his shoulder. Cole toyed with the idea of moving away and continuing on inside. In the end, he turned to face his father. "Yes?"

"We need to talk, Cole."

"Of course we do!" Cole hissed out a breath and shook his head. "What is it now? Going to ship me off to school early? Oh! I know? You're locking me in my room until I write a new, mind-blowing symphony that will grant me ever scholarship ever? What's it going to be this time?"

His father frowned. "Well, I don't see why we need to yell at each other. I wanted to apologize to you. About the way I've. . . handled your future. I was hoping we could talk. I promise I. . . will listen to you. As I should have."

"O-oh."

The anger left Cole in an instant, leaving him feeling very small and very hurt. He hesitated, trying to make sense of his father's words. After Cole gave a nod, they both headed inside.

"I'll make us some tea. How does that sound?"

Again, Cole only nodded. He didn't trust his tightened vocal cords to produce proper sounds.

His father walked off to the kitchen, and Cole crumpled onto the couch. He didn't know what aspect of his life to focus on. His brain struggled to look at them all at once, leaving Cole feeling very, very queasy.

Cole stared forward as he waited. He didn't really have the strength to do much else. Once his father returned, he accepted the cup eagerly. Cole held the drink close to his chest, the warmth of it giving him a sudden urge to cry.

He ignored the feelings. Shoved them far, far away.

Jay kept muttering Cole's name, long after he had gone.

Lloyd felt guilty. Really, really guilty. But he also had been sparked with a sudden, wild idea.

Every timed he opened his mouth, he was bound to say the right thing. Which meant, he could find the perfect wording for the perfect wish. One that would put things back in order. Right?

It was a good theory, at least.

Lloyd looked at the Djinn. He seemed to be overjoyed at Jay's crushed spirit. Maybe even readying himself to coax a wish out of Jay's trembling lips. Not on my watch.

Lloyd opened his mouth. The Djinn's face quickly turned toward him. In his eyes, a flicker of worry. Then, it was gone.

The worry. And the Djinn.

"Whoa," Nya gave a soft gasp. The teapot had gone too. "No!"

Jay turned back toward them. He wiped at his reddened eyes. "Wh-whoa. Where'd he go?"

"Somewhere safe," Lloyd responded, without trying. "He won't want us to find him."

"We should have been holding on to the teapot." Nya cursed. Shook her head. "If he's strong enough to move on his own and he knows we want to stop him, Lloyd's right, we won't be able to find him anywhere."

"Lloyd." Jay turned to him. Lloyd had the urge to run. "Why did you do that?"

"It was the right thing."

"I-I know but it- I wasn't-" Jay shook his head. Nya's frustration faded momentarily, and she moved closer to her friend.

"Cole was really harsh. I'm sorry." She pulled Jay into a tight hug. "Lloyd's right though. And it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"I'd rather it had been later," Jay whined, then pulled away. "It's fine. It doesn't matter. What matters is we need to find the teapot again. Somehow. Get Kai back."

"Where'd you find the teapot?" Nya asked.

Lloyd wanted to sigh. That doesn't matter. What matters is I wished to always say the right thing. "By school. He seems to be attracted to that place."

"Easy prey." Nya chuckled. "Okay. The school. We need to ask people to keep an eye out. Someone's bound to help, right?"

Jay shrugged. Then focused back on Lloyd. "Did you wish?"

Yes! "Yes."

"What did you wish for?"

"To be out of school." Lloyd frowned. Right. He'd wished that too. He was not looking forward to the way that would unwind. "And to say the right thing."

Jay's eyes flooded with understanding. Nya's sharpened with an idea.

"Lloyd you little punk," Nya smirked. "You're going to be Ninjago's hero."

First day back to school. Cole didn't know how he felt about it.

It was a welcome distraction, at least. And he was looking forward to seeing Zane.

What he was no looking forward to, of course, was seeing Jay.

Thanks to his years of practice, he'd managed to not think about him for the rest of the break. If Cole saw him. . . He didn't know what would happen then. He was still angry at Jay. He was still hurt.

But he also missed him. A lot.

Luckily enough, Jay could be pretty invisible when he wanted to be. Which would explain why it had taken Cole so long to notice him in the first place.

In the classes they shared, Jay kept his head down, hands shoved deep inside his pockets. His hair looked more frazzled than usual, as if he hadn't attempt it to make it presentable at all. And of course, he was filled with his usual fidgeting.

Not that Cole was looking.

In the halls, Cole got zero glimpses of him. And he was nowhere to be found in the cafeteria. Which was just as well.

"Cole?"

"Hmm?" Cole turned away for the Jay-less space, and back toward Zane. His friend was studying him with a knowing look. "What's up?"

"You have not touched your lunch."

"Oh. That. Yeah." Cole looked at it. For once, he found it utterly unappetizing. "Not very hungry."

"I see." Zane leaned forward. "What happened to Jay?"

Cole leaned back. "Personal space, Zane."

"Oh. Sorry." Zane nodded, and backed away. "And the answer to my question?"

"We broke up." Cole shrugged. "No biggie. People do that."

"Well that much was obvious." Zane rolled his eyes. "I meant. . . how? Why?"

"It's a long story. And we have a short lunch."

"Well buy me coffee after school. I would like to hear it."

After school. Cole was inclined to automatically say that no, he was busy then. But he wasn't. His father had allowed him to get out of which ever classes he did not want to be a part of. So now he had sweet, sweet freedom.

Well. Without Jay, the freedom felt more bitter than anything. But Cole wasn't about to allow that thought inside his head.

"After school sounds good."

"Careless whisper?" Nya scowled, before bursting into a wild fit of laughter.

Jay snatched the stolen earphone back from her friend. "First of all, rude. Second of all, it's a classic, and it's relevant."

"Jay." Nya couldn't stop laughing. Even once Lloyd climbed onto the bus, she couldn't calm enough to explain the situation. "Okay. Okay. I'm good. Wow, Jay. You really are lucky I decided to be your friend. You're such a dork."

"Thanks." Jay tried to pout, but Nya's smile had always been contagious. Even as his world crashed and burned, it managed to comfort him. "Any news on the teapot?"

"None on my end." Lloyd shook his head.

"Nothing here either." Nya sighed. "But at least we have a plan."

Jay wanted to contradict her. It wasn't much of a plan.

Wish for the Djinn to stay in one place.

Somehow.

Then throw Lloyd at him, hoping that whatever came out of the kid's mouth would save them all.

So much could go wrong. So much would go wrong.

But to be honest, Jay didn't have the energy to argue.

He'd thought he would be ready to see Cole. That the soul-crushing pain would have weakened enough to be shrugged off. But Jay had been wrong. So very, very wrong.

Although he'd done his best to stay away from Cole's presence, they still had three classes together. And they had all been unbearable. He could hear Cole's words so clearly still, as if the moment had never ended.

You really are the worst thing that happened to me.

Cole, Kind Cole, Caring Cole, couldn't possibly have meant that. And yet he obviously had.

Jay turned away from Nya, as everything began to overwhelm him again. Just how bad was he, if he'd managed to make the best person he'd ever met despise him?

"No meeting today, right?" Jay said, surprised at how steady his words sounded.

"Well we don't have anything on the teapot. So I don't see what the point would be." Nya admitted. "But we could still do it. I don't mind hanging out."

"Nah." Jay shook his head. "Mom wanted some help with her new project. I'd better go straight home."

Lies. More lies. Always lies, with him. But Jay really wanted to be alone.

Was it a bad idea? Probably. Most of all considering he felt much better when he was around Nya's easy smile and Lloyd's determined optimism. But Jay didn't think he deserved to feel better.

He'd made Cole miserable. He deserved to feel the same.

"You sure?" Nya sounded skeptical. Worried. But she also sounded far away. "How about me and Lloyd go help, then?"

"No, that's okay." Jay turned to smile at his friends. "Thanks, though."

Cole told Zane. Everything.

The lies. The wish. The Djinn.

It made Cole's anger bubble up again. For a moment. But by the time he was done with it all, Cole only felt exhausted.

Zane listened with patience. He did not interrupt at all, although there were a couple of moments in which he looked eager to ask questions. When Cole was done, Zane leaned back against his seat, thinking.

"Well." Zane spoke slowly, shaping his words methodically. "I do not think Jay meant to hurt you."

"Well, no." Cole admitted. "But that isn't the point."

"Then what is the point?"

"The point is he did hurt me. And he lied about it."

"Seems to me he had a good reason to lie about it." Zane shrugged. "Seeing as to how you reacted to it. He was probably very afraid of losing you."

Cole opened his mouth. Then shut it. He had no good response to that.

"I do not think you were very fair. I agree, that lying was the wrong way to go about it. But I believe Jay has, overall, shaped your life for the better. I can see you act differently. And you spoke to your father about music. Something me and Kai tried to get you to do for years."

Cole shifted in his seat. He knew Zane was right. He knew he'd overreacted.

Memories of Jay flashed through Cole's mind, and he covered his face in his hands, fingers digging into his hair.

Shifty, nervous Jay, standing by his locker. A sticker with the words motor-mouth on his shoulder. Cole chuckled. Motor-mouth indeed.

The concert. Blue on grey. The bizarre, flash of attraction Cole had felt for those wide, hopeful eyes.

Their first drive together. Jay's stubborn, self-deprecating tone.

Sitting with him at lunch. The adorable flustered look in his eyes. Cole couldn't help but smile.

The mall. The arcade. The desert.

His hands. His smile. His eyes.

His laugh.

I thought you were impossibly amazing. Jay's shaky voice echoed in Cole's mind. I just really like you. Like a lot.

Then, his own voice. I'll always be here for you, Walker.

Cole groaned. Well. He was technically a liar too, wasn't he?

The memories sped forward. To the teapot. To his shouting. To Jay's trembling expression. Seeing it all without the filter of rage made his chest hurt.

You're the worst thing that ever happened to me, aren't you?

No. No. A thousand times no.

I love you, Cole.

Cole shut his eyes tightly.

"I want him back." He reopened his eyes, surprised at the sudden honesty. Zane smiled at him, and Cole straightened. "I really, really do."

"Well," Zane said. "What is stopping you?"