Chapter 2: What If We Win It
The Bellas returned to Georgia, humiliated and annoyed. Fat Amy's exposure was all over the news, talk shows, and the internet. Fat Amy apologized in a press conference, resulting in her mooning the reporters on camera to show off her silk burn. Two indecent exposures in one week.
The girls were called to the dean's office. All were dressed modestly for impression, especially Fat Amy in her blue dress and evening white gloves, but not everyone had dressed appropriately. Cynthia-Rose wore a simple tank and jeans, while Jazz wore her coral rompers with a brown belt wrapped around her waist. It was the only thing the teen could pick out at the last minute since she hardly had any fancy clothes in the closet. Everyone remained seated outside the office except for Chloe. She was pacing back and forth, clearly a nervous wreck.
Jazz didn't understand why she was here and not prepping for another school year. She wasn't there at the Kennedy Center when Fat Amy showed her folds. The girl was still recovering from the cold. Her sore throat and cough pattern improved, but she was still suffering from congestion.
"Chloe, chill out," Beca told her in boredom. "It's a mistake. It's not like they're going to burn us for witchcraft."
"Or prison," Jazz added, sniffling her nose. "What y'all did wasn't an act of terrorism, according to the police."
"What y'all did? Aren't you in charge of the choreography, Jazz?" the quiet, brunette girl questioned Jazz's pronoun usage. That girl always seemed to be close to another Bella, who was sitting right next to her. Was there something going on between them, or they don't know how to socialize with the other Bellas and just felt comfortable with each other? Jazz wasn't sure, but she didn't appreciate Jessica or Ashley talking to her like this.
"Uh, I was sick, and if I wasn't, I didn't tell Fat Amy to show off her vagina!" Jazz snapped before sniffling her nose again.
"I didn't do it on purpose!" Fat Amy said in defense. "My foot got caught in the redhead's sheet," Fat Amy pointed at Chloe, whose mouth became agape, shocked that Fat Amy was pointing the finger at her.
"Are you saying that this was my fault?!" Chloe asked, finally ceasing her pace, much to Jasmine's relief.
"Well-"
"Okay!" Beca interjected to prevent them from playing the blame game. "Let's not point the finger at anybody, okay? It's no one's fault! What happened was an accident! Got it?"
The rest of the girls mumbled in reluctant agreement, yet the tension remained. Chloe continued pacing.
"Okay, Chloe, now you're making me dizzy!" Cynthia-Rose snapped, massaging her temples.
"Who cares about your dizzy head!" Chloe retorted. "The National Acapella Association is in there with the dean, and we have no clue what will happen! My life as a Bella might be over!"
"Don't be so dramatic!" Stacie commanded.
"Yeah," Beca agreed. "We won three championships. Whatever happens, we're going to be fine. Now sit your ass down. Cynthia-Rose isn't the only one getting dizzy by your pacing."
"And me," Jazz added, lifting a finger while massaging her forehead.
Chloe sighed heavily but complied, "This is the worst thing that has ever happened to us." She sat cross-leg between Flo and Beca, avoiding Jazz due to her cold.
"On the plus side, at least no one barfed on the President," Stacie stated sweetly, remembering how Aubrey puked on stage while singing I Saw the Sign, years ago. The girls looked her way. Stacie furrowed her brows, not liking how the girls were staring at her.
"What?" Stacie asked innocently.
"You know," Flo began, "before I came to Barden, I had diarrhea for seven years."
Everyone scrunched their brows in disgust.
"But yes... this is terrible," Flo lowered her head in shame.
The secretary entered the room, giving them all the evil eye through her specs, "The Dean is ready for you, Tramps."
Most of the ladies' lips parted in shock at the secretary's insult, especially Stacie's. She turned to Fat Amy to confirm if they had heard the same thing.
"Tramps? Did she just call us tramps?"
Fat Amy shrugged, "Better than being called the Australian whore."
The girls made their way inside the Dean's office. The college dean, John Smith, and Gail Abernathy-McCadden from the National Acapella Associations were sitting before them.
"Ladies," the dean nodded to the girls in greeting.
"Okay, before y'all say anything," Jasmine raised her hand, "I just want to say..." She turned to Gail and said sweetly, "Congrats on the engagement!"
Gail smiled widely, "Aww... Thank you!"
"So, who is the lucky guy, and did he kick John's ass for his dirty remarks?"
"Well, he did-"
"Gail!" John cut Gail off from talking. "Can't you see what this tramp is doing?" Jazz scoffed at John's insult. "She's steering you off topic!"
Gail leaned over the desk and whispered to Jazz with a smirk, "John's ass had been kicked."
Jasmine reciprocated the mischievous gesture while John rolled his eyes.
The Dean huffed in frustration, beginning the important discussion - the Barden Bellas' fate, "Ladies, you have dragged this university's good name into the gutter."
The girls were surprised about the Dean's calmness but relieved that he didn't insult them, unlike the university staff.
"You have really upset these people... whose names have already been forgotten!"
"Your little southern exposure in front of our commander and chief has damaged everything having to do with acapella," John stated. Fat Amy covered her nether regions protectively and modestly.
"Just blew it up!" Gail added, gesturing with her hands while dreadfully imitating an explosive noise that almost sounded like a horse. "Blew it!"
"Funding is drying out. Sponsorships are pulling out," John explained. "Unfortunately, an example must be made."
"We have no other option but to suspend the Barden Bellas from competing at the collegiate level," Gail stated. The Bella girls gasped in disbelief.
"What?!" Chloe screamed out, almost bursting everyone's eardrums.
"I would be happy to repeat myself, but I'm sure this document would do all the talking for me," Gail handed her a folder containing information about the suspension. Chloe stepped forward from the group to retrieve the folder, about to have a panic attack.
"Okay, can we be reasonable?" Beca asked. "Fat Amy apologized - it was an accident!"
"And I'm not trying to play the victim here," Jasmine lifted a finger, "but just to be clear, I wasn't there when the birthday disaster happened. I was sick that day. I was at home, slurping hot soup while being forced to ingest that awful medicine! My brother couldn't just get the tablets from the pharmacy. No, he just had to get the liquid kind instead because he thinks it's better." She shivered in disgust, picturing the nasty grape flavor on her taste buds, "You can read my doctor's note if you want. It's in my backpack."
"But aren't you the one who choreographs the girls' performances?" John questioned her with a raised brow.
Jasmine scoffed, "I didn't tell Fat Amy to show her vagina! As Beca said, it was an accident!" She sniffled her nose once more, keeping the snot from escaping.
"Was it?" Gail asked.
Jasmine made a face to show that she was offended, folding her arms over her chest. Jazz wanted to sneeze at the NAA and make them suffer the cold for a week if she could.
Chloe gasped in horror, "You're taking away our victory tour?"
"That's right!" John replied with a smug look on his face. Fat Amy fought the urge to punch the guy. "No tour for Barden Bellas."
"But who's going to sing the National Anthem at the Puppy Bowl?"
"You're being replaced by the European champions," Gail explained. "Das Sound Machine," she said, poorly attempting to use a German accent. She cleared her throat, returning to her normal voice, "Total professionals."
"In other words," John elaborated, "they're good at keeping their pants on."
Chloe shook her head, tears watering her eyes, "So we can't compete or tour or-"
"And you can't hold any auditions," the Dean added, interrupting Chloe. "The last thing we want is for your ranks to grow like fungus!"
"This is unfair!" Chloe cried, stomping her foot like a child throwing a tantrum.
"Life's not fair!" John snapped back. "Life doesn't serve you a fresh lemonade, a poodle, and an amazing co-host as a mistress on a silver platter!" Everyone, including Gail, raised their brows at his words. John chuckled nervously, averting his eyes from Gail while adjusting his tie. He cleared his throat, regaining his composure, "I mean, sorry for dropping the bomb on you, ladies, though not the same bomb you dropped on us at the Kennedy Center. This is totally different."
The girls rolled their eyes at John's poor attempt at an apology.
"But you're just women, and most of you are seniors. Some of you are bound to get pregnant someday."
Jazz raised her hand, "Excuse me, but I happen to be a proud virgin! I think... the only virgin in this room." She finished, gesturing her surroundings.
The Dean adjusted his tie and cleared his throat, looking away embarrassed.
"You're missing out, girl," Fat Amy grumbled.
"I know," Jasmine agreed, yet her tone was debatable.
"Hold on!" Chloe announced happily, pointing at a certain page on the booklet. "This says nothing about stripping us from our title! If we're still reigning champs, then we're automatically invited to represent America at the World Championships this spring!"
"Ah, yes!" Gail said as if she were hosting an acapella competition right now, "The World Championship of Acapella. Every four years, groups from around the globe compete for world domination!" She gave her co-host an apologetic look, "I'm sorry, but I just had to say that. You know?" John nodded in agreement before addressing the Bellas.
"Look, ladies, we can't stop you from competing," John raised his hands in surrender. "By all means, sing away, but it will not help your case here."
"What if we win it?" Beca challenged.
John and Gail burst into laughter. The Bellas rolled their eyes in annoyance, and the Dean cast John and Gail a disapproving look.
Fat Amy clenched her fist, wanting nothing more than to beat the living daylights out of John and Gail with her punchable but fancy white gloves.
"What if you win it?!" John asked in disbelief, still laughing.
"Yeah!" Beca insisted. "If we win, can you reinstate us?"
"Sure, why not!" Gail waved in dismissing fashion. "Like that's going to happen anyway."
"And why not?" Jasmine asked curiously.
"Because..." Gail snorted, struggling to regain her composure, "Because no American team has ever won. Like ever!"
"Yeah, they hate our guts!" John explained. "The whole world!"
"The whole world hates us!" Gail emphasized.
As Gail and John were laughing, Jazz failed to suppress the urge to either sneeze or cough. It came out of nowhere.
"AAACHOO!" Jazz sneezed loudly, forgetting to cover her nose. The laughter ceased, replaced by a collection of gasps. The hosts' mouths were wide open, while their hands tremored in disgust. Everyone believed that some of Jazz's snot had flown to their faces or inside their mouths.
The tables had turned, and now it was Fat Amy's turn to laugh. "My God, your mouths are opened!"
The Dean cast Fat Amy a disapproving look. The woman closed her mouth and bowed her head, folding her hands in respect.
"Sorry. So sorry," Jazz covered her face, sauntering her way to the Dean's desk for a tissue. The dean quickly but cautiously handed her the box without gaining Jasmine's germs.
"Thank you," Jazz crumbled three pieces together before blowing on them while wiping her nose clean. "I am so sorry about that," she addressed the hosts. "I told you... told you I was really sick."
If looks could kill, Jazz would've been dead - double dead by both Gail and John combined.
~000~
"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" Chloe chanted as she and the Bellas exited the Dean's building.
"Would you chill out, Beca?" Jasmine demanded. "I didn't mean to sneeze on the laughing hyenas."
"Aww, you didn't?" Fat Amy asked her in disappointment. "It would've been even funny if you did!"
"I thought about it," Jazz admitted, "But I didn't want to increase our odds of expulsion." She opened the tissue to examine the snot and verbally noted that she probably needed an antibiotic.
"Nah," Fat Amy dismissed, checking out the color with her. "You're good."
"You sure?" Jazz asked, "it's green."
"Oh my god! Ew! Can you stop talking about your snot, please?!" Chloe demanded loudly. Fat Amy ducked her head while Jazz stuffed the tissue in her pocket.
"Okay, seriously, you need to take yoga with me," Jazz offered. "It's very beneficial and not to mention relaxing, especially when you're stressed-"
"I don't want to relax!" Chloe snapped. "I want to win the Worlds!"
"So if we don't win the worlds, then what are we?" Stacie asked curiously. "Just a bunch of girls that hang out?"
"What's wrong with that?" Cynthia-Rose challenged, winking at her.
Stacie cautiously stepped away from Cynthia-Rose. She liked Cynthia-Rose, but not the flirting. Fat Amy did warn Jazz about Cynthia-Rose's innocent gestures when she first became a Bella. One time, Bumper threw a burrito at Fat Amy's mouth, causing her to choke. Cynthia-Rose volunteered to give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation when she was really trying to kiss her.
"Girls! Be serious!" Chloe cried. "If we don't win, the Bellas are over! I have failed my Russian Lit test three times to be a Bella, and I'm willing to fail again!"
"Russian Lit?" Jazz raised a brow, putting her hands on her hips. She had heard of English literature but never Russian.
"Don't ask," Chloe snapped. "Stay focused, ladies! This is the biggest challenge we've ever faced!"
"When I was nine years old," Flo began her tale, "my brother tried to sell me for a chicken. Sooo..."
"Wow, that's very nice of your brother," Stacie grumbled before she spoke up loudly. "Whatever! I will do whoever it takes to be back on top!"
"You mean whatever it takes," Fat Amy corrected her.
Stacie nodded, "That too."
Meanwhile, Beca's phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out to study the Caller ID before stepping out of the group to take the call. She wasn't sneaky enough because both Jasmine and the soft speaker - Lily Onakuramara - noticed her departure.
"Who do you think she's talking to?" Jasmine asked Lilly.
Lilly whispered, too quiet for Jazz to hear what she was saying. She didn't attempt to listen because she was trying to eavesdrop on Beca's conversation.
"Jazz!" Unfortunately, being the overprotective sister would have to wait.
"Yes, ma'am!" Jazz addressed Chloe as if she was talking to a drill sergeant.
"We can count on you to create the best choreography ever, right?" Chloe challenged.
"Huh? Oh! Oh yeah! You can count on me, Chloe!" Jasmine assured her before offering Fat Amy the same encouragement. "Don't worry, Fat Amy. I'll make sure it's vagina-safe proof."
Fat Amy gave her the thumbs up, but her face didn't show enthusiasm, "Yippee."
"Okay, ladies! Hands in!" Chloe stuck her arm out, joined by the rest of her group. One girl was missing. "Beca!" Chloe called out to her. Beca hurried back to the group and stuck her arm in as well.
Jazz couldn't help but question Beca in a whisper, "Who were you talking to?"
"Jesse," Beca replied quicker than normal. A giddy smile threatened to show. Jasmine wanted details, but that's when her memory clicked.
Jesse! Damn it! Jazz cursed herself. The Treblemakers were supposed to perform for the freshmen students at the college auditorium this afternoon. Jasmine promised her brother that she would be there for support. Chloe must hurry with this meeting.
"Cynthia, will you do the honors?" Chloe asked sweetly.
Cynthia-Rose cleared her throat before she counted loudly like a football coach prepping his players for a big game, "Bellas on three! One! Two! Three!"
The Bellas threw their hands in the air, singing g-sharp.
"Later!" Once they were finished, Jazz took off running, ignoring Chloe's protests.