EMMA

Chapter 2

A/N: I'm excited to share this with you and find out what you think. :-)

Dearest Oliver,

I have always loved writing letters, almost as much as I have loved receiving them. As I write this, though, I must say that for the first time in my life, I am quite unsure whether or not writing down what I have to tell you is the right thing to do. But I do not have much time. My life has become too short for me to keep secrets from the people I love the most. I fear that if I do not do this before my time runs out, I might regret it until the afterlife. And so, please bear with the last confession of a dying woman who wants no less than the happiness of those she loves most.

First of all, I just want you to know how grateful I am that you have accepted legal guardianship of Emma. I can't wait for you to come home soon. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I know that this was not an easy decision to make. You have a life of your own, and you can choose to live it the way you deem best, and yet you have decided to raise a child who is not your own while running the ranch and looking after your sister. This is a testament to how selfless and loving you are. I am so proud of the man that you have become, Oliver. I only wish I had more time to spend with you and Thea. I love you both so dearly.

What I have to say will most certainly be difficult to deal with, but as the saying goes, truth sets us all free. Resent me if you must, hate me even, but promise me that you will never feel that way towards Emma. Ever. None of what I will tell you is her fault, and she deserves to live a beautiful life ahead of her despite everything. By the time you read this, I would have been long gone, but promise me that you will make sure sweet little Emma will grow up happy and well, despite everything.

Because, Emma is not just my adopted daughter. She is Felicity's daughter. Your Felicity's little girl.

The day she left the ranch in tears, I followed her, driving the outskirts of town for hours until she ended up in a halfway house for girls who are in trouble. The next day, I went back there to speak with her, to try to convince her to come home. But the couple that ran the house, a Rev. Walter Steele and his wife, politely denied my request to see her, saying that she specifically told them that she did not want to see any visitors. She had told them that she had no family and no place to go. I explained to the Steeles that Felicity has been like a daughter to me, especially since the time her mother Donna, my very best friend and confidante, had passed away. But because I wasn't really family, I could not persuade them to let me see her. After a couple more attempts, I decided it was best that I respect her wishes.

For weeks, I contemplated what to do. I imagined Felicity was anxious and afraid, confused, and hurting. My heart went out to her. I wanted us to be there for her, yet she wanted to be left alone, and there was hardly anything I could think to do. I didn't know how to tell you all this, and by the time I had made up my mind to tell you that I knew about her whereabouts, you'd left for the Peace Corps without saying goodbye. I understand completely why you did that, and I hadn't taken offense. You were hurting just as much. I wanted to be there for you, too, but I realize now that you needed the time and space just like she did.

A few months later, I tried to visit Felicity again at the Steele's, only to find out that she had already given birth. The baby was there, but she was gone. The Steeles had promised her that they would not divulge her whereabouts to anyone who would ask about her. The only thing that they were at liberty to say was that she had decided to put up her baby girl for adoption and that she wanted no one to come looking for her. The moment I laid eyes on Emma (Felicity had given her that name), I just knew. I knew that Donna would have wanted her grandchild to grow up with family, with us. I just couldn't turn my back on my friend, on Felicity (even if she wanted nothing to do with any of us), and on her little girl.

I understood a little about how adoption worked, and I knew that in most cases anonymity is maintained between the child's biological mother and the adoptive parent or parents, but I pleaded with the Steeles. They were gracious people, and they considered it more advantageous for Emma to be raised by people who would truly care for her and love her despite the circumstances surrounding her conception and birth. I asked Jean Loring to get in touch with them, and everything was processed in no time. In just barely a month's time, baby Emma arrived at Starling Ranch with me as his legally adoptive parent.

By the time you read this, Emma would be seven. I asked Jean to give this to you at this time because I believe that Emma would start being curious and inquisitive as to why she is being raised by a step-brother who is old enough to be her father or uncle. She'd be old enough to learn and understand about her biological mother. No matter how painful and difficult, Emma deserves to know who her real mother is. It does not have to be now, but she has to know some time, before she hits puberty and starts to question who she is and resent where she'd come from. I will leave it up to you to decide when the proper time is to tell her, but please leave it up to her to decide whether or not she wants to get to know her mother. She has the right to do so. If and when she expresses the desire to find Felicity and try to connect with her, please… please do not deny her the chance.

Oliver, I know that what I am asking of you is something that will bring up past hurts and heartache. Whatever it was that happened between you and Felicity, it was all in the past, and Emma had done nothing wrong. I know that it is not my place to impose this on you, not even as your mother, so I implore you to just consider what is best for your little girl. If connecting with her real mother will make her stronger and help ground her identity, then please do not deprive her of that opportunity. I know you, my beautiful boy. I know how deeply you are capable of loving. I see that in the way you care for your sister, and in the way you loved Felicity with all your heart and soul. And though I have no way of seeing how your relationship with Emma will turn out eventually, I have no doubt that you will love her just as much. I trust you will know what to do. I leave it to you to tell your sister everything.

All my love,

Mom

Oliver folded his mother's letter in his hands as he sat on his favorite arm chair on the porch. He had read it so many times he'd lost count. Yet still, he hadn't told Emma anything. For months, he couldn't bring himself to, couldn't find the words, or the perfect timing.

"When are you planning to tell her?" Thea asked, interrupting his musings, as she sat on the cushioned swing nearby.

Oliver sighed but kept silent. He looked up, staring at Emma in the distance. A small smile formed on his lips at the sight of his little girl, looking more like her real mother as each day passed. John Diggle had assured him that she was big enough to ride, and so there she was inside the corral, enjoying her morning horseback and riding lesson.

Thea took a sip of her freshly brewed coffee. "She asked me again this morning, Ollie. She's wondering why she has an older brother and sister for parents when all her friends at school have 'normal' moms and dads."

He looked down at his hands, still clutching the wrinkled piece of paper. "Soon." That was all he could say.