Gratitude

Rowan walked into the room and Crowley smiled at her, his eyes dark and that smile which was charming in a sinister manner. The closer she walked towards him, the more his eyes glimmered. He was honestly happy to see her.

"I was afraid you didn't want to be friends anymore." He said, his smile shifting into a slight smirk. Rowan couldn't help but smile a little.

"Afraid no one would refill that glass, you mean?" she asked as she pointed at the glass in his hand. His smirk grew and he shook around the straw still in the glass.

"Whiskey is not the center of our friendship, Chickadee." Crowley said and she frowned at the new pet name, although she couldn't fight a smile from growing on her face. "Did I say something amusing?" Crowley asked, still with a smirk.

"You often give pet names to women?" Rowan asked as she sat at the corner closest to him.

"Just the special ones." He replied, his smirk slightly sinister. "So, what were you up to? A shower, I see. You smell… butch" he asked, his smirk dialing down to a calm smile.

"It's not like Sam and Dean have Strawberry and Cream body wash." Rowan replied, taking his glass and placing it on the table. "I was sleeping for hours thanks to some little helpers." She added and Crowley cocked his head a bit as she met his eyes.

"And your dreams?" he asked, his eyes slightly intense as he waiting to hear.

"Mind blowing." Rowan said and then stood up, stepping directly in between Crowley and the table, placing her posterior on the edge of the table and then leaning her face closer to him, her hands between her knees. He arched an eyebrow, not certain what she was trying to accomplish. "Crowley, when you look into my eyes, what do you see?" she asked and he seemed surprised. "Who do you see?" she added, watching as he intensely stared at her.

"Chickadee," Crowley began, seeming to think she had a preference to that particular pet name. "I see Rowan. Those light brown eyes, like honey and chocolate. I see you're conflicted with who you are and who you could be." He added and watched as she gave him a slight smile.

"What do you see when I act differently?" she asked and his expression remained the same as he stared at her.

"Your eyes are like a black velvet sky and a full moon half covered by gray clouds. I see power and confidence." He said and she stared at him, searching for something. By then, he knew she was one step closer than he had realized. "I see Hel." He concluded and she stood up straight, nodding as she looked off into the darkness of the room.

"I don't understand everything I've seen in my dreams." Rowan said, hoisting herself up, sitting on the table in front of him.

Crowley found it interesting how she sat closer to him the more she discovered about Hel. He knew things were working out well.

Rowan looked at him, looking slightly confused.

"I got back some of my forgotten memories. Some experiences I had in foster homes and the way I made them die or suffer. I also saw the time I had turned the tables on this college boy, and then the temple that I've often dreamt. Someone was there and said 'Helheim welcomes you again'." Rowan said, watching how attentively he was listening, how comforted that made her feel. "I even remember my conversation with Jormungand. He said our father was dead and then I had a dream about him." she said and her eyes softened with a hint of sadness. "The last thing my father did was kiss my forehead. I think that's when I started to forget everything." Rowan concluded as the hint of sadness was replaced with confusion.

"Weren't you a busy little bird." Crowley said and her eyes hardened, as if that annoyed her. "I wasn't certain if Hel was using you as her vessel or if you truly were her." he added, taking it that she wanted to get down the business.

"What?" she asked, her face scrunching up in confusion. "Her vessel?" Rowan asked.

"Possession." Crowley clarified and continued with his secret theory, seeing as how it probably would be better to tell her. It would appear she may have a slight trust issue. "I then learnt that you are Hel, only someone took your memory. Your father, so it seems." He added and she nodded her head, more content with his compliance.

"Loki." She said and Crowley's lips twitched into a small grin. He supposed she should know the truth.

"He was also known as Gabriel." He said and she glanced at him, eyebrows knit together in a clear confusion. "Quite a long story; I hope you have nothing planned for the day." Crowley added and her confusion shifted into condemnation of his little witty comment. He lost the grin. "Gabriel was an Archangel and he left home when there was too much fighting amongst his brothers Lucifer and Michael." He said and she arched an eyebrow as if she wasn't sure he was serious.

"Angels?" she asked and now it was his turn to look at her with discontent.

"Try to keep up, Darling." He said and she frowned. "Gabriel left and decided to hang with a much more vibrant crowd and became Loki." He added and Rowan's frown fell with confusion. "Gabriel is your father." He concluded and she gave her head a slight shake.

"My father's actually an Archangel?" Rowan asked and Crowley nodded casually. "Wouldn't that make me half angel?" she asked and he nodded yet again. "Wouldn't you have noticed right away?" she asked and he narrowed his eyes slightly.

"What exactly was your mother? A giantess I hear." He said and Rowan looked confused, an expression she wore often, come to think of it.

"I don't know exactly. What does that mean anyway?" she asked and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Perhaps you didn't inherit as much from your father." Crowley said and Rowan shook her head.

"Doesn't matter." She replied and looked down at the floor beneath her feet. "The thing is, I'm Hel with a memory like Swiss cheese because my father Loki, slash, Gabriel decided to take it away from me for some stupid reason." Rowan concluded, sounding certain this was the truth they had unearthed.

"If there's anything I know about Gabriel is that everything he did was calculated and for a reason." Crowley replied, getting her to lift up her head to meet his eyes. "Unfortunately, I don't have the answer to that." He added and she gave a small smile.

"Thanks, Crowley." Rowan said softly. That too was a first for him; someone was genuinely expressing gratitude for his help. "I don't think I would have gotten this far with Sam and Dean, especially not on my own." She added and pushed herself off the table, leaning close to him to place a tender grateful kiss on his cheek. Rowan then pulled back and simply stood against the table.

"You enjoy kissing me, don't you?" he asked and she let out a soft laugh.

"My way of saying thanks." She said, smiling at him.

"Yes, I've noticed." He replied, getting her to laugh, and then kicking his foot.

"That wasn't exactly me." she said defensively, getting him to flash a dark grin. "I'm still figuring everything out." she added and he nodded with a slight smile.

At that moment, her cell phone began ringing. She pulled it out of her pocket and placed it to her ear.

"Hey Sam." She said, trying to sound cheery. "Oh really?" she asked, trying to sound happy, but her facial expression revealed a hint of panic. "Oh, that's good. Can't wait. It's been awfully lonely." She added, looking at Crowley with a shocked look on her face that made him want to grin, only it might get him another kick to his foot. "Okay, see you." Rowan concluded, putting her phone back into her pocket. "Son of a bitch." She said in a harsh whisper.

"Referring to me?" he asked and she looked up sharply at him, frowning.

"What?" she asked him.

"My mother really was a bitch." Crowley clarified and she shook her head as if to shake off the hint of irritation she was feeling.

"Sam and Dean are coming back sooner than they expected. Their friend Kevin is fine." Rowan said, pushing her hair back, which only made her chest puff out a bit as she inhaled, then exhaled, with frustration. Crowley looked at her chest, and then back at her eyes that were off into the corner of the room.

"Did they say what was wrong with their friend, Kevin?" Crowley asked and she shook her head.

"They don't tell me if they think I'm Hel; what makes you think they'll tell me about someone else?" she asked and Crowley gave a slight nod, finding that to be accurately true. "This means I don't have much time left to figure it out. You won't be able to help me anymore because we weren't supposed to be talking to each other." Rowan said, worry filling her eyes as she looked at him.

"Chickadee, relax." He said and her eyes sharpened with irritation.

"No one likes to be told to relax." She snapped, although her tone sounded calm.

"What I mean to say, Love, is don't fret; we have time." Crowley corrected himself. Rowan's expression softened, but she seemed doubtful. She was silent for a brief moment, just staring at him, as if not sure how to voice her concerns. "What do you want to do?" he asked her and she clenched her jaw, as if she had come to a decision.

"I feel like I have a split personality." Rowan replied with a slightly forced smile. "Let's see if I can reconcile the two." She added, joining Crowley in a smile.