Wonderstuck
If it had been up to the Winchesters, they'd probably decide it best that she don't remember her true identity after all, since they weren't exactly friends with her father and they had had their fair share of conflicts with deities. If they could spare themselves from facing another, they would.
"Well, what would be most helpful?" Crowley asked with a slight grin on his face. Rowan eyed him suspiciously, and then she grinned at him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"And you say I enjoyed kissing you." She said and his grin broke out into a dark smile. "I think you enjoyed it more, especially when I got handsy." She added, watching the glimmer in his eyes like he was admitting to it.
"I'd like even better to be out of these chains. Then you'd be the one wondering what came over you." Crowley said and she seemed uncertain whether to grin or panic a little. Having a demon chained and bound was safe, but to have him released from his bindings sounded a little frightening.
"Is that your way of saying you like me?" Rowan asked and he gave her a slight grin as he cocked his head a bit.
"Especially when you get handsy." He replied, which made her laugh. He rather enjoyed watching her laugh. There were creases in the corner of her eyes when she laughed and she seemed happy. Then, her light brown eyes seem to shine as she laughed. Exceptional.
Damn. He did like her. Well, she was much better company than the Winchesters.
"If I got all handsy with you bound, wouldn't that constitute as rape?" Rowan asked him and he grinned at her as she smiled, an air of discomfort around her. "Yeah, change of subject." she said and walked around the table, about to leave. "So, I'm going to grab a bite. I'll be back in a few minutes." She concluded, smiling over her shoulder, and leaving the room.
Crowley watched her leave, the grin remaining on his face. She was quite interesting.
Rowan walked into the kitchen, raiding the fridge once again. As she looked around, part of her wasn't feeling hungry. She didn't have a couple of days left. She had maybe one or less if she was lucky. If anything, she was feeling a little rushed, like reconciling both Rowan and Hel had to be done before the Winchesters came back home or else she'll never have the chance.
The truth was that she'd just not have the chance to talk to Crowley anymore.
Rowan closed the fridge and paced around the kitchen.
She had to leave the room because it seemed obvious that both Crowley and her came to like each other. It had been about two days and their friendship had become something else, so it would seem. Rowan felt some tension after Crowley said he especially liked it when she got all handsy on him. Most of what he said was with humor, but there was also truth to it. This time was no different.
As she paced, Rowan wondered if maybe kissing Crowley could bring both her identities together to clear away her confusion, to unlock all her memories. It seemed to be what she wanted to do, but she also felt awkward. What if she lost control? What if Crowley wouldn't be able to stop her?
Yeah right; as if he'd stop her.
Rowan found herself leaving the kitchen and she decided not to think about it but to just act on it. She walked back into the room where Crowley simply smiled, as if he knew her little trip to the kitchen was just to clear her head. She walked around the table and surprised him by sitting on his lap. She looked into his eyes as he grinned.
"I'm just going to kiss you." She said and his grin broadened.
"Is that all?" He said, which made her smile. Rowan knew that if she stalled any longer, she'd back out of this idea. She had to just act rather than think.
She pressed her lips softly against his and as he cocked his head, pushing against her lips, slipping his tongue into her mouth, it was like a floodgate had opened.
Rowan's arms wrapped around his neck and she felt this tingling feeling spreading throughout her body. This had been the first time she willingly got emotionally involved with someone and, of course, it had to be a demon bound to a chair in two brothers' huge bunker. The taste of his lips, a slight hint of whiskey, and his lips felt soft as they locked around hers, his tongue aggressively entwined with hers, which made her heart race within her chest. Bound demon that the Winchesters found dangerous, who cares?
However, it felt like her heart was flipping within her chest, a feeling she didn't know how to take.
Rowan pulled away, this lovely sucking sound as she broke their kiss. She gazed into his eyes, feeling enchanted. His eyes glimmered as he stared into hers.
"Feeling something, Chickadee?" he said, his voice low and rich, grave and sexy. Rowan's heart continued to beat and she just wanted to kiss him again.
"I love it when you call me that." She said, seduction oozing through her voice, and pressed her lips hard against his, continuing where they left off. This time, her tongue aggressively pushed against his. In that moment, she could feel a surge of energy throughout her body, her arms tightening about his neck. It felt like adrenaline pumping through her veins, making her feel as if she was starving although she was the one starving Crowley of oxygen.
And then, Rowan broke their kiss, gasping, her eyes going distant as memories began flooding over her. It was more or less the same information she had received during her sleep, but the fact that she was awake was the incredible part.
"I'm remembering." Rowan said, half in her trance of remembrance.
"That's good." Crowley said softly. "You have a slight glow in your eyes." he added, watching her smile as she could remember the times she hurt those that had harmed her. The more she was placed in dangerous foster environments, the more her power inflicted pain. There were quite a few times those bastards died after her departure. A part of her should be appalled at the things she had done, but she felt nothing but satisfaction; she was only defending herself against the real monsters in the world.
And then, for the first time, she remembered the old days when souls walked into Helheim. There was no distinction between good and bad; everyone eventually came to rest in her realm of the dead. There were no sorting lines, no judgment. One's life actions meant nothing in her realm. However, she was the Ruler of the dead; she made certain that those who caused trouble went further under to a lifeless cavern as punishment. Death favored no one and neither did she.
Rowan focused her eyes back on Crowley with a smile on her lips.
"I remember Helheim." She said and he stared at her with a glimmer in his eyes. "It's incredible. I don't feel so confused anymore. I know who I am." She added and his lips widened in a smile.
"And soon, you'll have control over your power." Crowley said and she smiled at him.
"Not before Sam and Dean come back, I'm sure." Rowan said and Crowley gave a sort of unperturbed grin.
"Not unless we can give you a little push in the right direction." He added with a dark glimmer in his eyes. Rowan narrowed her eyes in suspicion, her cheeks heated up as she fought against dropping her gaze to his waist. "I'll let you use me as you want." He added and her cheeks flared to a shade of red.
"I can't do that. I won't." she said and quickly got off his lap, fixing her shirt to keep her hands busy.
"Any suggestions then, Chickadee?" he asked her and she glanced at him over her shoulder, frowning at his pet name for her.
"Calling me Chickadee won't encourage me to do that." Rowan replied and Crowley's lips twitched into a mischievous grin.
"Do what?" he asked, playing stupid just to tease her. She glared at him, approaching, standing over him, her face inches from his.
There was a darkness in her eyes. Good.
"You know damned well what." She replied and he only smiled at her.
"You're stunning when you're angry." Crowley said and despite her smile, there was a flicker of annoyance in her dark eyes.
"You're not as smooth as you think you are." She said and his smile only remained.
"Au contraire, Chickadee; you're not as resistant as you think you are." He replied, his smiling turning into a smirk. She glared playfully at him, knowing he was right there.
"I'm going to sleep now." Rowan said, stepping away from Crowley, adding a little swing in her walk.
"Dream of me." Crowley replied and she let out a sharp laugh, never looking back at him, walking out of the room.
Rowan made her way to her room, smiling, unable to shake off Crowley's oozing confidence and sexual teasing. Did he really want her to have sex with him? It sure seemed that way. Were demons even interested in that sort of thing? She imagined they could get off on inflicting pain on others, but sensual pleasure? She couldn't see it.
She first swung by the bathroom, popping a couple of sleeping pills, and then laid down on her bed, setting the alarm on her phone. She was giving herself a couple hours of sleep because she couldn't afford ten hours. The Winchesters would be returning soon.
She tried to sleep, but her mind remained on Crowley. She sort of wanted to dream of him. Even if she was allowing herself to get emotionally involved with someone, she couldn't bring herself to do more. All these years, she thought it was all the times someone had tried to take advantage of her, but that didn't seem to be the primary problem. Maybe she never trusted anyone with her heart, even as Hel.
When Rowan closed her eyes and finally drifted to sleep, feeling the pills taking affect, pulling her into sleep, her dreams toke over control of her thoughts. She wasn't sure what she could expect, but she hoped it would be just what she needed to be Hel once again.
Everything faded to an oblivious black, her mind switching from the conscious to the subconscious.
There, she was in her room, on her bed, listening to the music playing overhead throughout the bunker. It was a song with a sweet beat that made her want to dance. More importantly, a song that made her want to strut around, showing off her femininity.
And then the music shifted into something luscious, a perfectly good sex jam.
She swung her legs off her bed, walking to the music, walking down the hall with a seduction pulsing through her veins. She turned into the room where Crowley awaited her. Rowan waltzed into the room, her eyelashes batting seductively as she stared at that confident smile on his lips.
"Dreaming of me, as predicted." He said as she walked around the table, standing in front of him. She leaned over, placing her hands on his shoulders, staring into his dark eyes.
"I'd like you to show me just how, out of these chains, you'd have me wondering just what came over me." Rowan said, her voice sultry.
In that moment, the chains vibrated, trembling, and in split second, without Rowan even batting an eyelash, the chains unclasped and fell to the floor. The handcuffs vibrated, trembled, unclasping and falling to the floor. Then, the table began to shake and it was violently pushed to the side wall, scratching the giant symbol drawn in white that was part of his binding.
As fast as it had occurred, Crowley stood up, pulling her against him, kissing her with such fierce passion that it made her heart pound in her chest. The pounding was so loud, it felt like it was summoning her.
And then she realized with horror that –
Rowan snapped her eyes open, confused and not sure what horrified her in her dream, but she realizing that the pounding in her dream had confusingly blended with the buzzing of her alarm. It had already been two hours. However, her heart was still beating hard.
It was just a really weird dream that made her think she has to be more careful what she wishes for.
She jumped out of bed, feeling like her dream had been too vivid to just be a wet dream if she dare call it that. At that moment, she knew something wasn't right. Something was causing her to feel a ping of panic, not lust. She left her room, rushing to the room where Crowley was kept and when she stopped in the door way, her heart pounded so loud that it drowned out the music above her.
The chair was empty, the chains and handcuffs were on the floor, the table was pushed up against the wall and the giant symbol that looked like some sort of pentacle was scratched. Crowley was set free and she had done it in her sleep, in her dream.
Suddenly, the realization that it wasn't a dream terrified her and she realized what had horrified her so much: she had become aware of her power and that her dream wasn't a dream at all.
The demon that had become a friend, who she knew she couldn't trust completely, had been released and it frightened her to think what he was capable of doing. Worst of all, she released him with her power and she couldn't help but feel this is what he wanted all along; not to help her, but to help her so she could help him.
That's why she had never trusted anyone to get close to her.