Reconnection
"Well, our father's dead." Fenrir said and watched as it wasn't news to his sister. "I guess Crowley told you." He added and watched as she nodded her head. "Alright, well, at the beginning." He said and had this hard look in his eyes. "As Dad later told me after he released me from my chains, he was actually an Archangel." He said and she nodded again, saying that Crowley told her that too. Did that pompous demon leave out any details for him to share with his sister? "Odin was disgusted by us three kids. He chained me up like a dog, tossed Jormungand in the ocean and you in Helheim, which you pretty much created by the way." Fenrir said and looked a little proud, but then returned to his hard expression both because she didn't seem surprised so far and that the rest of the story is still hard for them to swallow, he's sure. "Lucifer was trouble and when the fighting in Heaven got to its worst, Dad wanted to keep you safe." He said which got Rowan to frown in confusion.
"What? Why just me?" she asked, looking a little sad.
"You're the baby of the family, but he knew Lucifer was going to fall from Heaven and when he did, he'd go to the only other place to become his own leader." Fenrir said, looking at his sister sharply, as if hinting she should figure it out.
"Helheim." Rowan replied and he nodded.
"Dad wanted to protect you. He told me the truth so that I could protect you from his brothers. Dad went to get you and found a nice quite town. He took away your memory so Lucifer wouldn't be able to find you." He said and his eyes turned dark and cold, as if he didn't want to finish that sentence. "Dad was worried Lucifer might not just take your kingdom for himself, but you too." He blurted out with a flicker of irritation in his eyes.
"So I've been alive all this time. How come I don't remember that? Did I die and get reborn or something?" Rowan asked and Fenrir's lips tightened.
"Something like that, I guess. You're Death, so you can't really die." Fenrir said and she gave him a slight smile. "Naturally, because you forgot your identity, I couldn't keep track of you. I really did exhaust myself trying to find you." He added and Rowan let out a small laugh.
"Alright, thank you dear brother for your relentless searching. It's greatly appreciated." She said and there was a small smile on his lips. He was satisfied. "So, what happened to Dad after that?" she asked and his eyes grew cold.
"He mostly hid from his brothers and the Gods. He passed himself off as a Trickster all those years until he met the Winchesters." He said and she seemed slightly surprised. "They eventually discovered he was Loki, and then really Gabriel." He concluded as he drank his coffee.
"We were all separated all those years." Rowan said, knowing that's what her brother meant, but couldn't seem to say it. He nodded silently, drinking from his mug. "When exactly did Dad die?" she asked and Fenrir put down his mug.
"A few years ago. Lucifer killed him." he replied and they were silent for a brief moment. He could see his sister was upset, so he changed the subject. "So, how did Crowley help you gain back your memories?" he asked and, judging by the expression she shot him, that wasn't a subject she deemed any better.
"Believe it or not brother, I'm not required to tell you everything." she said and he watched her suspiciously, and when a small grin grew on his face, she was the one to watch them warily. "What?" she asked him.
"You like him." he said and she sighed, looking away with a frown. "It's like Baldur all over again." he added and she shot him a glare. "Do you even remember him?" he asked and she shook her head, which made him laugh. She disapproved of that. "Wow, he was like the love of your life. Only the feeling wasn't mutual." He added and she really glared at him, that glow igniting in her eyes. "You liked him so much, and you had Dad wrapped around your finger, that he did whatever it took to have Baldur in Helheim and stay there. Just for you." He concluded and she arched an eyebrow at him.
Okay, so that's the real reason she never got emotionally involved with someone; her first crush broke her heart and as a Goddess, she was eternally hurt by that. It explains a lot actually if it wasn't for all the times she was nearly raped as a child.
"So, Crowley's King of Hell." She said and Fenrir watched that anger flare in her eyes. "Why wouldn't he tell me that?" she asked and Fenrir grinned at her. He was doing pretty good for a brother that almost got insanely protective of her about Crowley.
"You think he cares about you?" he asked and her eyes sparked with rage, her pupils turning a smoky gray. "Alright, calm down. I'm just saying that Crowley only cares about himself. Everything he does is for himself." He added, which still didn't calm her anger.
"Are you saying he used me?" Rowan asked, her anger shifting into annoyance. The thought had crossed her mind, but she was pretty sure Crowley had proved her wrong.
"When faced with a superior being, Crowley deals with it one of two ways." Fenrir said, sharpening his eyes. "He flees or he befriends." He added and then his eyes became piercing as he stared at her. "Sound familiar?" he asked and she narrowed her eyes at him. "He mentioned Abaddon, which I find interesting. If I'm correct, Crowley's hoping that when you awaken completely, you'll fight her for Hell and he'll move in all sweet on you and you'll let him keep his crown." Her brother said with a slight smile as Rowan glared at him, sipping her latté. "Hate to break it to you sis, but yeah, Crowley's using you." He concluded and as she placed her cup down on the table, he expected her to be mad, but she seemed upset. "Hel?" he asked her and she raised her sad eyes up to him.
"Just when I thought I had things figured out." she said and Fenrir frowned, not thrilled that his sister was upset. Maybe Crowley had kissed her and willingly got back into his bindings to make her think that he cared about it. Maybe that was a further extent of his manipulation on her.
"He's a demon and you're a woman; don't blame yourself." He said and she raised her eyebrows and then kicked his leg under the table. "Ouch!" he said, watching her glare at him.
"What does being a woman have anything to do with it? What, I'm stupid? I let him fool me with kisses?" she snapped and he remained silent, seeing that smoky gray in her eyes. "He may have groomed me into becoming an ally, but I will not believe he doesn't care about me." she said and slammed her fist on the table, making the windows on the car just outside shatter. Fenrir looked at the car, people stunned as they stared at it, coming to check out what had happened. He glanced at his sister who was still staring angrily at him. "And being a woman has nothing to do with it, you misogynistic bastard." She concluded, her eyes revealing the rage that would not easily simmer down.
"Okay." He said, hoping that would calm her down. When her stare continued, he exhaled through his nose, nearly making a slight growl in his throat. "Sorry." He said and she seemed pleased with that. They drank their coffees, ignoring the crowd around the car with the exploded windows. The owner of the car was distraught, uncertain of what had caused the windows to shatter. Fenrir looked at his sister, not so sure her power was weak. At moments of rage, she was doing pretty well.
"I think we'll have to awaken your power." he said and she arched an eyebrow at him. "Yes, although you damaged the car, you'll need to practice to gain your full strength." He added and she seemed to consider it over her latté. "I suppose Crowley helped with that too." He said and this time, his cup of coffee flew out of his hands, shattering on the floor. Everyone looked at them and he gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I'll clean it up." He said and immediately got the flirting waitress to help him out; telling him it wasn't his fault.
No, it was his fault. One look up at his sister and he saw the anger in her eyes. He was going to have to learn what not to say to his sister.
When the waitress took away the bits of ceramic, having cleaned the coffee, Fenrir gave a small apologetic smile to Rowan.
"Sorry." He said and she sipped her latté. The waitress came back with another cup of black coffee.
"On the house." she said with a smile. Fenrir looked up at her, smiling, which delighted the poor girl. She added a swing into her walk that she was sure kept Fenrir's gaze, but it hadn't. It seemed he wasn't interested in the opposite sex. Maybe that was a good thing because he had no idea how to talk to them, let alone his sister.
"You have a problem of saying the wrong things." Rowan said calmly, even if she didn't look happy.
"As you remind me, every time." he replied, trying for a smile. "Here I thought I had a temper." He added and she smiled with pride, as if that was a compliment. They remained silent for some time and Fenrir knew they wouldn't be training until her latté was finished; it wouldn't matter if he finished his coffee. "So, what do you remember? Where you lived, the families, I mean." He added and her eyes became distant, as if she immediately fell into those memories, and her eyes became cold as if she didn't want to remember. Fenrir couldn't understand.
"I was in many foster homes. My social worker kept moving me around because I was a problem child." Rowan said and her brother narrowed his eyes as if trying to understand. "Many times, the boys and men in those homes tried to sexually assault me." she added and his eyes and nose flared with rage. If she thought her brother didn't care about her, this was a huge contradiction to that fact.
She reached over the table and placed her hand on his with tenderness to reassure him she was alright.
"If you think I've been harmed, than you haven't seen what I did to them." She said and smiled as Fenrir gave a slight grin.
"What did you do?" he asked with a sharp hint of curiosity in his gray eyes.
"I made them suffer, heart attacks, strokes, broken bones, permanent paralysis, and then I also killed some. It always happened after I was moved out of the home." Rowan said and gave a dark smile as she didn't feel remorse for any of it. "I was well capable of protecting myself." She said and Fenrir seemed relieved.
"And Dad thought you needed me to watch over you." He said, which made her feel a little sad. Rowan wasn't sure why the emotion came over her, maybe it's because all those years she had no idea, somewhere out in the world, her brothers was looking for her, especially Fenrir. "Hey." He said, making her look into his eyes.
"We could have been a happy family." She said and his eyes seemed disappointed even if he forced a smile for her.
"I know. Well, at least Odin's dead." He said and she let out a small laugh, not very surprised he'd throw that in. "Sadly, many are dead. It turns out even the Gods aren't immortal." He added, which now made her sadness turn to disappointment too.
"Even us?" she asked and he shrugged his shoulders.
"I can't see how you'd die. You're already half dead." He said and she let out a small laugh, despite the not-so-angry-but-trying-to-act-like-it frown on her face. "I don't understand how you react to my words. I say something and you laugh. I say something and you get mad." He concluded as he watched her expression, trying to figure out the mystery that is his sister.
"That's because you don't know how to talk to women. We're complicated creatures. You must know how to keep us in our good mood and learn what pisses us off." She said and he arched an eyebrow as if he didn't understand a single word she had said. "I guess you've been a bachelor all these years." she concluded and he frowned at her as if that was a topic he didn't care to share with her.
"Are you done your latté?" he asked and she gulped the rest, smiling at him. "Cheque?" he asked, raising his hand, staring at his sister. The flirting waitress came back, telling him the amount. He paid in exact change and barely gave her a smile. Rowan flared her eyes at him, and he looked up at the waitress with a forced charming smile. "Thank you. I really appreciated your service." He said and Rowan looked away, sighing with disappointment. Your service? He totally had no idea how to talk to women.
The waitress smiled, a little confused, and Fenrir got out of the booth, looking impatient as Rowan took her time. He let her walk out first, since she gave him a cold look. They walked out of the coffee shop and down the sidewalk to his car.
"You thanked her for her service. You thought that sounded romantic?" she asked him as soon as they stepped out. He was stunned and couldn't understand why she was so upset with him. Is that why she gave him a cold look? "She was flirting with you. You could have said 'Thanks for your smile. Thanks for helping me. I'm such a klutz. You're pretty. Can I have your number?' It's not so hard, Fenrir." Rowan said as she opened the passenger door of his car.
"Well maybe it is for me." he said and walked around the car, getting into the driver's seat. "I'm a wolf. I was chained for years. I was filled with rage and hate. I'm not a gentle creature by nature. I can't change that." Fenrir added, looking at the road with a hardness in his eyes and that usual rough grave voice. She watched her brother, understanding him a little better, and placed her hand on his arm.
"Okay, please accept my humble apologies." She said and he glanced at her with a slight frown. "You might be a wolf, rough around the edges, but you are capable of love or you wouldn't care so much about me." she added and his frown relaxed, but his eyes were still hard.
"My family is all I ever cared about." He said, placing his hand on hers that rested still on his arm. "And I can't possibly imagine someone who'd want to love me, an untamed wolf." He added, looking back at the road, starting the car and driving away from the curb. Rowan took her hand away and smiled at her brother.
"There someone for everyone." She said and he grunted like he had heard that lie before. "Maybe we can find you a nice werewolf." She added and he shot her a confused glare. "No?" she asked, not seeing a problem with that idea.
"We're done discussing this." He said, picking up speed as they passed the stores, leaving the small town. After a few minutes of silence, completely out of the town and surrounded by wilderness, Fenrir pointed to the side of the road. "Look for a small trail. We'll go walking and find a nice place to train." He said and Rowan grinned as she looked at him.
"I would, but with your speed it'll look like a bigger-than-usual space between the trees." She said and he shot her an annoyed frown. "What's with the speed? You could get yourself killed." She added and his expression remained the same as he looked back at the road ahead, scanning for the trail himself since his sister couldn't be bothered, so it seemed.
As the car slowed down, Rowan could see a trail, her brother parked just a bit after it and shut off the engine, looking around as if expecting to see something.
"Is there a problem?" she asked and he gave a low growl in his throat as he stepped out of the car, glancing around. Rowan sighed and got out, looking around. Everything seemed fine to her. Fenrir walked over to her, only to lock her door, and shut it, glancing at the trees behind her. "Fenrir. Is there a problem?" she asked again.
"No." he said, looking very distracted. He lowered his eyes to her with a slight frown. "I'm eager to get in there." He said and she nodded.
"Natural instincts to run free?" she asked and his frown deepened as if insulted. "What? You're a wolf." She added and he grunted as he turned, walking towards the trail. She had to jog a bit to catch up to him and then walk fast just to keep up with him.
"It's not to act like a wolf. It's just comforting. No one can touch me in the wilderness. No one can tame me." he said and Rowan gave him an apologetic smile. He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and pulled her roughly into a sort of embrace as they walked like fire was nipping at their heels. "We're getting to know each other all over again. And I've said worst to you." He said and she smiled up at him.
"We're going to stay close together, right?" she asked and saw a sort of disappointment fall over his face. "Fenrir?" she asked and he looked down at her as they reached the trail and began walking into the forest.
"You're not going to stay here. You've always been in Helheim and even if it's no longer the place you remember, you'll want to be there too, trying to change it back. It's what I'd do." Fenrir said and she gave a sad frown, especially when he released her from his probable definition of a hug.
"Maybe not." She replied, watching him as he looked at the trees. "Maybe I'm tired of being alone too." She added and he met her gaze, looking stunned and partly vulnerable, as if she hit a raw nerve. "Even if I do try to rebuild Helheim, which probably won't happen because a legion of demons would probably try to kill me, I would want us to keep in touch." Rowan said and, despite his surprise, he smiled at her, a full smile without hardness.
"You've changed a lot." He said and she grinned at him.
"Memory loss will do that to you." She replied and they smiled together, walking deeper into the woods. Rowan was eager too to get into the wilderness and be herself. Would she be able to awaken her power, to be the great Goddess Hel again? It seemed a little unreal, but at least she wasn't confused anymore.