The eyes don't return.
I long for them to come back.
They gave me a beautiful night, of rest and no nightmares. When the hallucinations faded with the eyes, I was able to heal. When I woke, I was in less pain than I have ever been.
Of course, it didn't last long.
But I remembered… Not a person, place, thing. Not a memory, but an impression, of a feeling. The feeling of power. Of flying. Being so high, untouchable, in control.
It made me long for something new.
The absence of feeling helpless. Feeling… in control, powerful? Maybe. I think it's just the desire to be free. But the people here have made it quite clear: even if I do escape…
I'll never be free.
There's nowhere for me to go. No one to go to.
But the more I think, the more I long. I rationalize, try to make it all lay out into a plan.
This is something to want. I can resist forever, that much is clear, but I can't live like this forever. Now I want out.
I need out.
I'm going to get out.
Screw them and their security measures and their "specially designed" walls and guards and dogs and collar.
Screw it all.
This is happening.
