Emma

Chapter 15

"I still can't believe it's you, Lis!" exclaimed Carly. Excitedly, the pretty, dark-skinned woman placed their food and drinks on the table. "You said you came by yesterday? I must have missed you," she told Felicity.

Oliver had suggested that they go grab a quick breakfast before she drove back to Central City. So, from the cemetery they headed to Carly's Diner, which was the only restaurant serving good food in and around Starling Town that was open so early in the morning. After all these years, the big fast food chains in the city like Big Belly Burger still hadn't invested in their part of the state. Carly's family's business was still doing very well.

Oliver and Felicity sat on a table for four at the corner of the room, farthest from the entrance of the diner. There weren't too many people in the diner yet. It was just them, an old man, and another couple in their late sixties who looked like they were from out of town like Felicity. Felicity sat on the chair near the wall across from Oliver.

"Yeah, I did. I was here for lunch. More like a late, late lunch," Felicity replied, smiling back at her grinning old-time friend. It was good for her to see another familiar face, sort of.

Carly almost sat down on the empty chair beside her but thought the better of it. She was a good friend to both of them, having gone to the same high school as they did, but she wasn't that close to either of them, not like Tommy had been. Yet, the fallout between Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak wasn't exactly a secret in Starling. Carly didn't know the details, but she knew enough to be mindful of her boundaries now that she stumbled upon these two having breakfast together after all these years. She did not want to intrude on their privacy.

"Oh, that's because Andy picked me up early to make it in time for our son's soccer game," said Carly.

"So, you and Andy did end up together, huh. And you have a son?" said Felicity.

"Yeah, we did. Andy Jr. is turning seven this year," answered Carly. "It's really good to see you, Felicity. You look amazing! Are you back for good?" she asked, shifting her gaze from Felicity to Oliver and back.

Felicity knew what to say, but she wasn't sure how to say it without giving away information about Emma. She wasn't ready for the entire town to know about her little girl. It was a good thing Oliver came to her rescue.

"Felicity is just visiting. She lives in Central City now," he said.

Carly wanted to ask more questions, hoping to reconnect with her friends further. She opened her mouth, but she changed her mind. Oliver and Felicity looked like they needed to have an important conversation over breakfast without her there. So, she took leave by saying, "Well, I have to get back to work. Deliveries are coming." Looking at Felicity and placing a hand on her shoulder, Carly said, "I hope you can come and visit Starling more often."

"I'll try," Felicity replied. "And it's nice to see you to, Carly."

"Okay then. Enjoy your breakfast! This one's on the house," Carly announced proudly.

"Wow, thanks!" Oliver said to Carly. "How come I don't get free breakfasts when I come by?"

Carly raised an eyebrow at him. "That's coz you hardly come by. Thea comes in here more often, but I guess that's not happening now that she lives in Central City." Carly gave him a pat on the back and said, "Bon appétit," before walking away.

Felicity gave Oliver a scrutinizing look. "You never mentioned that Thea lives in Central City now."

"Oh, yeah, she does. She got a job and moved there about two weeks ago," he explained. "Guess I missed that detail over dinner last night."

Felicity nodded once and then dropped her gaze. Focusing her eyes on the cup of coffee in front of her, she sadly blurted out, "I see. I thought about asking last night, since… you know… her spot at the table was… unusually empty. But I figured, maybe she just didn't want to join us. Didn't want to see me."

Oliver was not able to respond to that immediately. He couldn't lie. Thea still resented Felicity after all these years, out of prejudice, of course. Thea had always taken her older brother's side, against Moira's wiser admonitions. Out of ignorance, too, perhaps. Like him, his sister had no idea why Felicity had chosen to vanish from their lives without a trace. Growing up, Thea used to admire Felicity, and Oliver knew that his sister had always dreamed of them ending up together. He was relieved when it was Felicity that spoke again.

"Can't blame her," she said, sighing. "I was the one that left without saying goodbye."

Felicity still couldn't look him in the eye. She could feel his gaze on her when he suddenly said, "That may be true. But I distinctly remember that I was the one who made that mistake first."

Felicity swallowed hard. This conversation was becoming more and more awkward by the minute. Perhaps breakfast with her ex, her daughter's parent, wasn't such a good idea after all. She should have known better. She took a sip of her coffee, and when she put the cup down, she looked at him and said, "Oliver, I came back because I was ready to have that talk with Emma. It doesn't mean I was ready to have that talk with you."

It was Oliver turn to nod and drop his gaze. Clearly, he was disappointed, not with her, but with himself. He hadn't planned on saying anything that might trigger discomfort or unease for either or both of them. He really just wanted to appreciate her for coming to see Emma and to visit his mother's grave, and also to make sure she didn't do the long drive on an empty stomach. But somehow the conversation led them here, and he didn't know how to redirect or what to say next, except to apologize.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Look, Oliver," Felicity interrupted him and began to explain herself in her classic rambling way, "you don't have to apologize. I just need you to know that I'm not willing to talk about what happened. I… I just can't. I've been trying to put that all behind me for the last seven years. Right now, it's enough for me to know that my little… that Emma is doing very well. Thanks to you, of course. And I am grateful. Truly. Grateful. To you and your family. But I have a life now. A different one, in a different place. I can't go back. We can't go back."

"I understand," replied Oliver, "and I won't bring up anything else, I promise. But I really need you to know how sorry I am for walking out on you that day. I was wrong to do that. I should have listened to what you had to say."

She could see pain and regret in his eyes – those blue eyes that had only ever looked at her with fondness and affection years ago. Now, those eyes bore much suffering and self-loathing. She noticed the tiny, wrinkly lines at the corners of his eyes, and a couple of faint lines across his forehead. It seemed he had gone through a lot in the past years, just like she had. Unlike him, she had the luxury of wearing make-up to hide what seven difficult years had done to her features. She wondered what else he'd done in the past that merited that much self-hatred and anguish. Surely, he couldn't have gone through the same sufferings that she'd had. She wanted to reach for his hand and assure him that she, of all people, could empathize with the kind of darkness that shrouded the human soul with guilt and regret and even fear, but she willed herself not to do it.

Oliver went on to say, "I have lived every single day of the last seven years regretting what I did, and wondering what could have happened if I had done things differently… especially since I found out that Emma's birth mother was you."

"Oliver, please…"

He raised his hands in front of him in his defense and said to her, "That's it. Nothing more. I just wanted to apologize," he said, leaning backwards in his chair.

Felicity nodded and said, "Apology accepted. Thank you. That means… a lot." She took a deep breath to compose herself. It was really hard to hold back tears in front of the man she once loved with all her heart.

Something inside her shifted as she listened to him own up to his fault. She was moved at his humility and honesty, which caused her to release forgiveness at last. She had pushed away the pain of him abandoning her when she needed him most, burying the bitterness deep in the recesses of her heart.

At first, she'd been in denial, blaming every misfortune that had befallen her and the repercussions of their fallout on herself entirely. But in time, and after some therapy, she had slowly admitted that Oliver had hurt her deeply when he turned his back on her, perhaps more deeply than the physical suffering she'd been through and the excruciating pain of childbirth without any loved one beside her. But now that she had freely forgiven him, it was like one of the heavy burdens she'd been carrying for so long had rolled off her back. Other burdens still remained, but those were for another day. She could only deal with so much at one time. Nevertheless, she felt that there was one more thing that needed to be done. So, she mustered some inner courage and spoke.

"I might as well take this chance to apologize to you, too. Like I said, I did run away, without so much as an explanation. Well, you obviously didn't give me the chance, but that didn't mean I had to stop trying. After all, I was the one that came back with…" She closed and eyes and paused to breathe. When she opened them again, she continued, "We were together, and you deserved to know, to understand. I'm sorry."

"Thank you. That's… thank you," Oliver said, nodding. A small smile brightened his face a little, causing Felicity to smile back a little, too.

Their posture shifted. Oliver leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. Felicity's hands, which were on her lap under the table, were now on top of it, fingers intertwined and no longer restless.

"Oliver, please don't ask me anything more. This is all I'm ready for. At this time." She bit her lower lip, expectantly waiting for him to show her a sign that the boundaries she was setting were clear to him.

"Sure." Oliver smiled.

He respected her wishes, but he was hopeful that she did not shut him down permanently. 'At this time' did not mean forever. There was hope. He still cared about her – that much, he was aware of – but there was nothing in their conversations that day and the day before that hinted at her feeling the same way about him still. Maybe it was too late for them to pick up the pieces. Maybe the damage had been done and they had crossed the point of no return years ago. Maybe.

He was holding out hope, though. He could not imagine settling down with anyone else but Felicity Smoak. He wasn't going to marry someone just so that Emma could grow up with a mother, female role model to look up to. He and Emma were enough. He was perfectly content in single-parenting his little girl.

If there was anything that the last two days had shown him, it was that he still loved Felicity, and that if she was willing to give them a chance, he was willing to wait for as long as it took to win her back. He did consider the possibility that it might never happen. For all he knew, she probably had someone special back in Central City already. If being friends was all they could ever be, he was willing to take it.

They evidently cleared the air after apologies were given and accepted; hence, they were able to enjoy a more relaxed conversation over breakfast. Felicity told him a little more about what she did at STAR Labs, and Oliver kept her updated with the ranch, which hadn't changed much since she left.

Later on, they talked about Emma. Felicity told him she was glad to know that Emma wanted her in her life. She accepted the open invitation to come and visit as often as she could, especially during the holidays. Oliver, in turn, told her that they could also visit her in Central City, since they also planned to visit Thea there at least once a month. There were both not ready to talk about legal stuff yet, so they simply reached a verbal agreement to co-parent Emma without the papers in the meantime. Oliver assured her that Jean Loring, their family's lawyer, was well aware of Emma's background and would be more than willing to look into the legal aspects of their preferred arrangement later on. All she needed to do was to give him the green light.

Oliver paid the bill, and after they said their goodbyes, they drove off in different directions.

Felicity returned to Central City. As she drove, she wondered what was in store for her now that she was in Emma's life. Thoughts of Oliver also wandered into her mind, but she was already an expert at compartmentalizing, so she managed to keep those stray thoughts away the rest of the way, and even in the days that followed.

As far as Oliver was concerned, Emma having her real mother in her life now was perhaps the best thing that happened to his little girl's life since his mom passed away. Emma deserved to be happier. His happiness could take a back seat, as long as Emma could have hers. She may not be his flesh and blood, but he'd raised her for most of her life now. He'd learned to love her as if she were his own, and the circumstances that had led to her being born did not change that.

A/N: So, that's their first talk. Baby steps for now, folks. ;-) As I said, Olicity is endgame in this fic, despite the odds stacked against them.