EMMA

Chapter 17: Emma's Father

"May I join you?" Oliver asked.

Felicity nodded, patting the space beside her on the cushioned swing. She'd been sitting there on the front porch of the ranch house for quite some time, after she had already tucked Emma into bed while Oliver tidied up in the kitchen. Felicity had been sitting quietly by her lonesome, thinking about how her life had changed significantly over the past eight months, since her path crossed with that of the Queens again.

She had also felt like she needed some alone time. Things had been hectic at STAR Labs in the past couple of weeks, and she'd been looking forward to visiting the Queens that weekend. She really did not mind the long drive that Friday afternoon. She had gotten off work earlier than usual and had made it to the ranch in good time, with Oliver and Emma waiting for her for a late dinner. She was tired, but dinner sharing a meal with them had been refreshing for her, especially because John Diggle and Thea – for the first time – had joined them.

Thea had also been due for a visit to the ranch, and Oliver had told Felicity a few days ago that they'd be visiting at the same time so that she would be prepared for it. Even though Thea still avoided every opportunity to be left alone in a room with her and merely afforded her brief and occasional moments of small talk with barely any real eye contact, Felicity was glad to notice that Thea was no longer as indifferent and aloof towards her as before.

Oliver sat quietly beside her for a few minutes. He realized that he had intruded upon her private musing, even though she had let him sit with her, so he thought better to let her be the one to start any kind of conversation on her own terms.

"Thank you for dinner. Everything was delicious," Felicity said at last.

Oliver replied, "You're welcome. I tried to make it special because I was able to get Thea to join us."

"That meant a lot to you, huh?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered, turning to glance at her with a small smile. "I've always known she'd come around eventually. And you?"

Felicity turned and met his gaze, and she answered, "Oh, yeah. I didn't realize how much I've missed Thea all this time. The last thing I remembered about her, before all of this happened, was how she was still swooning over that boy that moved here from out of state… What was his name? Harper. Yeah, Roy Harper." She chuckled at the memory of Thea's first object of intense infatuation. "It's unbelievable how much she's grown, how much she's changed."

"We all have," Oliver said softly, holding her gaze.

Felicity blinked and looked down, avoiding his eyes on her. She did not disengage from the conversation, however, like she used to months ago, whenever their brief talks wandered into awkward territory. She was finding it easier to converse with Oliver like normal friends did.

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders, saying, "Yeah, I guess we have." She looked up at him again and smiled.

Oliver sensed that it was time to change the subject, so he asked, "You good for tomorrow's thing?"

"Oh, yeah. I… I think so. I've given it a lot of thought, actually. It's for Emma, so… I'm okay with it. No worries," she replied with a shy smile.

During their last visit to Central City, Oliver and Emma had asked Felicity if she'd be willing to join them for a school event, which was happening that Saturday when it was conveniently her turn to come to Starling for a visit. It was the Emma's school's annual Family Day and Mini Fair, and Emma was excited to introduce her birth mother to her teachers and friends. Felicity had asked them to give her time to think about it, and they had obliged politely.

After a week of thought and some words of advice from her best friend Caitlyn, Felicity had decided to give it a go. Not that she hadn't struggled with the thought of being the object of attention, and perhaps even the subject of conversation among strangers and not-so-strangers (considering there might be some from town who had known her from years ago), for she most certainly had struggled for days. But she had convinced herself to stop thinking of herself for a change, and to think of what would make her daughter happy instead. Caitlyn had complimented her, telling her that she was making progress, one baby step at a time.

"Okay," Oliver affirmed her. "But if at any point you feel like it's getting to be too much, just say so. We don't have to stay all day. I've talked with Emma, and she's okay with it."

"Okay, thanks. That would be nice." Her smile widened. She was highly appreciative of his thoughtfulness. As if by instinct, her hand landed on his knee and she gave it a gentle pat.

The innocent, yet sincere gesture did not escape Oliver's notice. He looked at her with an expression on his face that let her know how happy he was that she no longer felt like she needed to keep up her defensive walls in his presence.

A comforting silence fell between them, as they stared deep into each other's eyes. Somehow they both knew that everything would be alright, not just for the next day, but for the days and weeks and months to come.

The school's Family Day and Mini Fair had been a blast. Oliver, Emma, and Felicity had so much fun, with only a few awkward moments when Oliver or Emma had to introduce Felicity to other children, who found it odd for her to be their friend's "real mommy" or "other mommy." Emma's teachers and most of the parents in attendance had been kind enough to welcome Felicity to the school community, and sensitive enough to know the socially acceptable limits in a friendly conversation, such that they avoided asking too many personal questions. Felicity had been relieved that her initial fears and hesitation were unfounded.

Back at the ranch, they were still telling stories about the fun things they did, the games they'd played, a few items they'd bought, and the interesting folks they'd met. Thea was completely amused just listening to the three of them talk about things that they'd actually done together and already knew. It was as if Thea was merely a silent observer to their very candid conversations. Yet, watching their unconventional family dynamic warmed Thea's heart, and for the first time since Felicity had come back into their lives, Thea thought and felt that the advantages of this set-up far outnumbered the disadvantages, especially when it came to Emma's well-being. Thea recognized that the person she had once looked up to like an older sister (before things between her and her brother went south) deserved another chance, and that Felicity was once again beginning to live up to her beautiful name.

Just when everyone thought that their wonderful day was about to end on a high note, Emma asked Felicity a curious question when the two of them were getting ready for bed.

"Mommy?" Emma paused, second guessing herself.

The brief pause made Felicity smile, though. Emma had started calling her mommy just a couple of months ago, after the little girl asked her if it was okay, and she was learning to love it every time the endearing word left Emma's lips. She recognized that Emma was using the same tone of voice now, and she was very interested about what her daughter was going to ask her this time.

The little girl pulled her blanket towards her chest and clutched the fabric with her fisted hands. "Is it okay if I ask you a question?" Emma bit her lower lip and stared at Felicity in wide-eyed anticipation.

"Sure, kiddo! Go ahead. Shoot," Felicity encouraged her.

"Well, I just got to thinking. Today my friends at school brought along their mommies, or their daddies, or both. I got to bring you and Ollie. I know we're a family, right? Including Thea, who's my older sister. But, you are my mom, just like Moira was my mom. Ollie is my brother who takes good care of me. But why don't I have a daddy?"

Felicity gasped. She wasn't expecting that question. Worse, she wasn't sure she was ready to answer that question. When she was considering whether or not to accept the invitation to come to the event at school, she had been too focused on how it would impact her. She hadn't considered that it might lead to a conversation about Emma's biological father. When she first came back to Starling to speak with Emma, she had thought about how to answer that particular question, but the little girl hadn't asked about it then. She had completely forgotten what her answer would have been. It was a good thing that Emma spoke again, because the question rendered Felicity speechless.

"I… I know I must've had a daddy, because yeah… you had to have me with someone, right? But, who was he? Where is he now?" Emma asked with innocent curiosity.

For some reason, she sensed Felicity's unease, so she added, "I've thought about asking you before, but I wasn't sure if I could. You said that your life before was pretty messed up, so… if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay. I don't want to upset you."

"Oh… No, Emma. Please don't think that way. You can ask me anything, and I will try my best to give you an honest answer. You don't have to worry about upsetting me," Felicity responded. "Actually, I don't think you can say anything that would ever upset me, honey, except… of course, if you're being stubborn about something." She smiled at the little girl and ran her fingers through her soft, dark brown waves.

Emma looked up at her mother and said, "Okay. So, what can you tell me about my real father?"

Felicity pulled her closer and put one arm around her shoulders as they both leaned back against the bed's headboard. She sighed and answered, "Your father's name was Cooper. Cooper Seldon. We went to the same school on the other side of the country. He was very smart, but maybe not as smart as me."

Emma giggled at that, but she quickly calmed down. She was excited to hear more. "Was he good-looking?" she asked Felicity.

"What?"

"Was he handsome? I mean, I get that he and you are both smart. Maybe that's why I'm smart, too. I think I pretty much got my good looks from you, but it still would be nice to know if my father was handsome, like Ollie is," Emma quipped with an uncoordinated wink that made Felicity laugh.

"Well, go on," said Emma, encouraging Felicity to continue, and she did.

"Cooper and I were part of a group of students that loved computer stuff. We became friends. But later on, I found out that he wasn't really a good person. I was wrong to trust him at all. He did some… very bad things that were… against the law. And to make things worse, he made me do some of those things too," Felicity explained the best way she knew how. She didn't know how else to say things in a way that a seven-year-old would understand or take.

"That's awfully mean. Making you break the law was a terrible thing to do. You must have been very upset," Emma said emphatically and insightfully.

"Yes, I was. But back then, I was too scared to stand up for myself. I was too weak to fight back." Felicity paused as tears pooled in her eyes. Remembering how powerless she had felt during that difficult time in her life made her chest tighten. She wasn't just talking about how weak she was to refuse hacking for the underground group. It was a good thing Emma was too young to recognize the double meaning in her words.

"Did you ever get caught?" asked Emma.

"No. By some miracle, I never got to see the inside of a jail cell. But Cooper? The police found out and took him away. He died in prison just a few months later… when I was already pregnant with you."

Felicity looked down to check if Emma was okay with knowing that her father had been a convicted felon. She knew first-hand how painful it was to find out that your father was a criminal. She herself had cried for days when Donna had told her on her deathbed that her father, who had abandoned them when she was seven, had ended up in prison. It was cruel how fate intervened and history repeated itself in her life and her daughter's. It had been one of the reasons why she had decided to give up Emma for adoption; she had wanted to spare her own child from having to know that her father was a convicted criminal.

But Emma appeared to be more resilient than she'd been when she was younger. If the revelation had upset her somewhat, Felicity saw no trace of it on her daughter's face or in her eyes. The only thing the little girl said was, "That's too bad. No wonder you decided not to have anything to do him when you had me. I think… I think I understand better why you had to give me up."

Felicity pulled her in for a tighter hug and kissed the crown of her head. What did she ever do to deserve an amazing little girl for a daughter?

"So, you're not disappointed that you'll never get to meet your real father?" Felicity asked.

"Not really," replied Emma. "We wouldn't want him to come back from the dead. That'd be creepy."

They both chuckled, and Felicity's heart warmed even more as Emma hugged her back. The conversation she had dreaded having just minutes ago had turned out better than she expected. She should never have underestimated her daughter. Emma was so much stronger that she had been in her darkest moments.

Just when Felicity thought they were already wrapping up their talk, Emma's inquisitive mind suddenly shifted to second gear and found a way to activate her mouth once more. "Mommy, did you love him?" Emma asked out of nowhere.

Felicity knew that Emma was referring to her biological father. Yet unlike her previous question, this one was easier to deal with. Felicity knew exactly what her answer was.

"No. We were never… together," she answered. She then looked up and stared out the window at the starry, moonlight sky. "I've only ever loved once in my life."

Emma looked up at her mother and studied her face. Now, she was confused. All she knew from books and movies and the way she observed families in real life was that two people who loved each other later on got married and had babies. With a slight frown on her face, she dared asked one more time, "Then, why did you…? How did you end up having me?"

Felicity closed her eyes, just in time to keep the first tear from falling. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath to ground herself. She thought the answer was going to be easy. She thought wrong.

"Emma," softly she began to speak, "the answer to your question is quite… complicated. Will you trust me if I say that you might not be ready for it yet? One day, when you're old enough, I promise to explain everything more clearly. Is that okay?"

The little girl looked at her mother straight in the eye, her lower lip caught between her teeth. After a beat, she said, "Okay. I trust you." She then shifted so that she could wrap both her little arms around Felicity. She buried her face in her mother's bosom and said, "I love you, Mommy."

This time, Felicity's tears fell. It meant the world to her, knowing that her daughter trusted her. Sometimes, she still didn't even trust herself. That was not something that came automatically, especially for someone like her who regretted past choices and failures. Moreover, it was the first time that Emma told Felicity that she loved her, and that after a somewhat difficult conversation. Felicity felt as if she didn't deserve this kind of affection from Emma's pure, tender heart; however, she wasn't going to refuse love this time. After all those years of loneliness and emptiness, she once again experienced how to love and be loved, truly and sincerely, in spite of her past.

"I love you, too, Emma," she whispered affectionately.

Felicity kissed Emma good night and tucked her in. As she closed the door behind her, she felt as though another huge burden had rolled off her back. She hadn't planned on it happening that night, but she was glad that it did.

Oliver came out of his room to check on Emma, and he met Felicity halfway down the hall as she headed towards her room. Before he could ask her about their little girl, Felicity eagerly told him that Emma was fine and already in bed.

"Oliver," she said, "after you check on Emma, could we maybe… Could you meet me downstairs in the den? I need to… I think I'm ready to have that talk."

She was. Emma's optimism and unconditional love had made her ready, made her brave. Before she ever lost courage once again, now was the perfect time for her to settle, once and for all, the eight-year-old score between her and her ex-boyfriend – the same guy that had raised her daughter like she was his own. He deserved to know the truth.

A/N: Shout out to highlander348 whose recent review helped me enhance this chapter and the next. Thanks!

So, who's excited for Olicity's second talk?

Thank you so much, all of you who are still reading this. It means a lot to me. Thank you also to the Guests who are following, even to the one that left comments expressing that the story isn't making sense so far. You know who you are; I'm just disappointed that FF doesn't allow me to reply to your comments. I just want to say that I don't take it against you for disagreeing with some aspects of the story and for disliking the Felicity in this story. I also want to thank you for politely expressing your sentiments. Not all readers with dissenting opinions are able to keep themselves from being mean.