It's been too long i'm so so sorry. Life is too busy for my liking but the good news is i sprained my ankle so I had a few hours today to sit down and finish this chapter. I'm not 100% happy with it but I hope you like it anyway. I have actually written quite a lot for this story but i'm still trying to get it into a decent structure and working out the missing bits and the ending still. But it won't be long to get it all together now. This chapter is a bit slow but the next few will be intense.

P.S. Thank you all for your comments and support...it has definitely kept me writing lately especially when I feel completely uninspired.

Bless you all.

CHAPTER THR33

When Maura opened her front door at 8:23pm to a rough knocking, it had been Jane she expected to be standing in front of her, not because they had made plans, just because Jane was the only one that visited her without making plans. And she always enjoyed the unexpected visits.

Her smile that had almost reached her ears and the hi that had already started to leave her lips, vanished instantly into thin air at the sight of Lieutenant Colonel Casey Jones on her doorstep.

'Casey?' she asked in a surprised breath, blinking. He was the very last person she expected to see stiffly standing on her front doorstep, especially since for the most part he seemed to tolerate her presence only because he knew Jane expected him too.

Jane's ex-boyfriend in his army clothing, completely unchanged from the last time she saw him. Or was it ex-fiancé since Jane was at one time going to say yes to his marriage proposal.

Casey had given her his trademark half smile, the one that always somehow seemed forced, and then he cleared his throat.

'Maura. Can I come in?'

It could have been a foreign language for the time it took for Maura to register and process his words.

Maura nodded politely and turned into the living room for him to follow her. Her brain furiously trying to think of any reason for his visit. Was it about Jane, what else would it be about, was Jane alright?

Maura sensed the change in him even with her back turned, she felt the atmosphere figuratively turn darker, but it was too late for her to react once she heard her front door latch close and the click of the key turning in her lock, it was too late to change any course of action.

He had been mostly gentle as he had tied her up with zip-ties. Not quite so gentle when he drew her blood with a syringe.

Wearing gloves he had searched around her home carefully looking for something. He had spent some time on her phone before switching it off and leaving it. He didn't say a word, and the tape across her mouth meant she couldn't.

Jane had been given a written warning. Considering the circumstances Jane knew Cavinaugh had been gentle especially since Crowe had also wanted to press charges against her, one day she would have to ask Cavinaugh how he managed to give her such a light reprimand.

One more outburst, however, and even Cavinaugh might be unable to keep it off her permanent record. That could result in immediate suspension.

Staying calm was essential right now.

Staying calm was everything.

Maybe she should meditate or do yoga or something.

Jog.

Pray.

What would Maura do?

'Breathing exercises will help you calm down, Jane. Five breaths in and five breaths out. Like this..."

Breathing. pffttt. That never worked before.

What would Maura say?

'Keep calm and go shopping!'

'Not really helping Maur-. You know department stores make me antsy. Too many people.'

'Shhhh, Jane, i'm meditating. Fighting with you is too exhausting right now.'

It could annoy Jane as much to deal with the imaginary Maura voice in her head as the real thing right now.

Maybe her mother could help her somehow.

'Why can't you just relax, Janie, you worry too much. I worry about you too, your job is so dangerous...you need someone to look after you...you need a husba-.'

Nope. No way. Opposite of helpful.

Jane would have to find her own internal calming mantra.

Everyone seemed to have very unique and different sets of coping strategies. Survival kits. Ways to survive.

Jane's was more rational than people might assume especially if they looked past the swearing, phone throwing, bat swinging, suspect tackling, growling facade Jane had put up.

Jane had a certain way to 'let go' without looking vulnerable and weak.

It was something she had not shown to anyone, including Casey Jones.

She placed the pink typed notice from Cavinaugh carefully on the centre of her desk, she might even frame it yet. It needed to be where she would see it, where it would remind her that she was essentially on her last strike and she had to force her feelings below the surface, to stay calm, to stay in control, at least at work, at least around the pricks that spoke out of line about her BFF. Especially if she wanted to continue to use BPD resources and her team to find Maura.

The tough facade that hid those feelings kept her out of trouble and kept her focused on whatever was the priority. It was the one thing that separated Jane from the 'girls' label.

It kept her grounded.

Most people couldn't see past the tough facade even though Jane never hid her frustrations or fears, she just expressed them in ways that she thought would be most productive.

A fake smile and outward calmness would help her find Maura.

Where was Maura?

Jane had seen the way Korsak had flinched and clenched his fists at Crowes words to her, had she held back a few more seconds he would have handled it. Next time she would let him.

Jane could be cool on the outside and fire on the inside if she wanted.

Or needed to be.

Especially for Maura.

Maura did not sleep that first night as Casey's captive. The second she slept restlessly from sheer exhaustion. Each night afterwards had been only slightly easier despite the lumpy uncomfortable spring bed. It is so hard and bumpy she is sure it has been bruising her skin, but there is no point complaining. At least she isn't sleeping on the floor. At least she has a bed to sleep on. And at least Casey has kept his distance physically while she sleeps. At least he doesn't withhold food and water from her, although under normal circumstances Maura wouldn't even begin to call it food. Pre-packaged and unhealthy microwave meals, white bread, chips and sausages, all the things she would tell Jane off for eating. In terms of being locked up or held captive, she would rate this as the best she has heard of, other than the obvious worries of waking up dead of course.

Often she would wake herself up by rolling over, the sound of the chains pulling her back to reality.
She would often wake to Casey mumbling under his breath and other times she would wake to a completely empty room, Casey away somewhere, she never knew where.
In the silence she would worry.
In a strange way, Maura felt that when Casey was with her, at least he wasn't somewhere hurting Jane.
Casey had only taken Maura out with him on three occasions so far. Every time he would be spying on Jane. Every-time he had a gun. Every-time was stressful. But seeing Jane alive was wonderful and breathing in fresh air and even getting some much-needed vitamin D was definitely worth the stress she underwent.

When he took Maura out next it was dark. He dragged her by her forearm to the car and she climbed in.

Maura knew to comply and not step out of line. She knew this because Casey's behavior was of a man that had to be in control. She also knew Casey was stronger than her and his training meant she would not get the upper hand...ever.

Maura recognized the streets and signs and knew they were nearing her block, her street.
They pulled up outside her house.
Every house in the street was dark except hers. She could see the kitchen and dining room lights were on. She could see movement inside.

Jane wakes up in Maura's lounge on Maura's very comfortable couch, again. It takes her a minute to realize why she is here again. She sometimes sleeps here, and she pretends she is waiting here in case Maura comes back, or at least that's what she tells her Ma, but the truth is she feels the closest to sane here and her Ma is right next door in case she really loses the plot. She hasn't yet but she has felt so close at times. Every time she tries to put the pieces together she feels like it is all her fault somehow, that it's not random. It is aimed to get her attention but she can't quite see it. Whoever it is has her attention but has not indicated what they want.

And suddenly the anxiety and fear hit her so hard she reaches for her chest like its in a vice and the room starts to spin. Twice she has woken up on the floor having blacked out. And when she comes back to reality she feels a little more detached from it each time, like her grip is a little looser. So she tries to stay calm now which involves being near her mother, being near where Maura should be, and not thinking to hard. She has to hold onto reality as tightly as she can.

Remembering she is here because Maura isn't means she can't go back to sleep even though she isn't sure what woke her up. She doesn't want to lie there and think so she wanders Maura's empty house.

There is the guest bedroom at the top of the stairs on the right where Jane had slept a few times in the past. On the left is Maura's room and when Jane opens the door she can smell Maura. That sweet vanilla and jasmine scent is fainter now than it was a week ago but it is still there. That combination of perfume and hair conditioner. It's what she had smelt when she hugged Maura. Its a scent she sub-consciously associates with peace and joy. Just being in Maura's room she breathes easier. Then there is Maura's walk in wardrobe filled to overflowing with clothes and shoes and private bathroom. At the end of the hall is another small upstairs bathroom for her guests. Jane wanders back down the stairs and passes the downstairs bathroom on her right then a massive storage closet that Maura keeps all the things she buys but doesn't really need or use. Jane follows the natural flow of the house around to her left, past the foyer, past the lounge, kitchen dining, and ends up at the other end of the house. She knows the laundry and garage are on her right and on her left is Maura's home office. She had never been inside Maura's office until the search they did when Maura was first discovered missing, but that had been different, it had been work, she had been professional. She pushes the door open and finds it the same as that night. It's simply decorated and tidy and certainly not as interesting as Maura's office at the morgue. Maura's laptop sits on the centre of the desk plugged into the wall to charge. There are a few books on biology on the shelf and stacks of medical magazines. A few framed achievements on the walls. A filing cabinet in the corner with a manilla folder on top that Jane already knows contained articles written by her father, Dr Arthur Isles.

Jane pulls the leather chair away from the desk and sits in it. It is as comfortable as she expected it would be. She reaches out her fingers and carefully opens Maura's laptop. It's not password protected or locked. So typically Maura, trusting that no-one would ever break into her laptop.
Jane stares at the screen, it feels like an invasion of her friends privacy but maybe there is something they missed during their search, she promised herself she wouldn't leave a single rock unturned so she moves past the initial discomfort.
First she looks in the folder labelled 'personal'. It if full of articles written by Maura, some not fully completed, but all sounded like something Jane wouldn't half understand. Nothing of interest in relation to her abduction anyway.
The next folder labelled 'work' is reports, hundreds of them all coded to match the case numbers. Cases Jane and Frankie have already looked into for any links. Jane next moves to the photo album. The first photo is of her and Maura, cheek to cheek. It is from Maura's last birthday. Jane can't look further without her chest hurting so she decides she will ask her mother to look through that folder later.
She moves to Maura's browser and looks in her most recent history. Lots of searches of things that sound very Maura related, 'mycoplasma pneumonia', 'pharlapiscus' and 'melorheostosis'. She catches herself trying to pronounce some words as she reads out the names in her head. There are a few scientific sites and a medical site as well as several shoe shopping websites and one page called 'the ultimate birthday gifts'. Jane opens it wondering whose birthday Maura has been shopping for. Angela's birthday is the soonest, next month, her own birthday is still two months away.
The page opens on the online shopping cart which is filled with many gifts with the word 'Jane' engraved, embroidered or written on them.
Jane closes the laptop as well as her eyes. Her chest suddenly feels so heavy and painful again.
She can't quite grasp the feeling but it hurts her.
She stands up and heads towards the door, grabbing her coat on the way.

She needs to get some fresh air.

Another midnight run is in order.

...to be continued...