EMMA
Chapter 23: The Promotion
Oliver and Felicity walked back to the banquet hall holding hands, shoulder to shoulder, flashing heart eyes at each other. As soon as they felt the indoor warmth once more, he removed his coat from her upper body and wore it again just before he pulled out the chair at their table for her to sit on.
"There you are!" Caitlyn exclaimed. "I've been looking all over for you. Dr. Wells is about to make a big announcement and wanted everyone to hear it."
"Oh," Felicity said. "What big announcement?"
"I have no idea," said Cisco. "Guess we're about to find out." Cisco motioned in the direction of the stage.
Dr. Harrison wells stepped up the platform and tapped the microphone at the podium. "Before I make an important announcement, once again I would like to thank you all for gracing this occasion with your presence. I hope that the dinner and dance had been beyond expectation, and that you are all enjoying a lovely evening."
The crowd applauded, and Dr. Wells raised his hands to ask them to hold off the applause until he was done with his announcement.
"As you well know, STAR Labs is now on its fifteenth year, and we are doing very well. This is why the Board has approved, not just the proposed budget for the next fiscal year – which, of course, includes a generous pay hike for all our hard-working employees – but also, our five-year expansion plan."
The crowd broke out in applause once again, this time with some cheering and whistling. Dr. Wells did not stop them anymore. He waited for the cheering to die down.
"In light of this expansion plan, which will commence immediately, there will be several changes in our organizational chart, as some of our best people will most definitely be reassigned. I assure you, the memo will be out very soon. But, allow me to announce the promotion of a handful of our most reliable and brilliant people."
Everyone waited with baited breath. As if by instinct, Felicity found Oliver's hand on his knee under the table. She tangled her fingers with his, and in turn, he gave her a gentle squeeze.
"Beginning next month," Dr. Wells explained, "Ms. Caitlyn Snow will be the new Chief of our Biochemistry Division, Mr. Ronnie Raymond will be promoted to Senior Lab Technician, and Mr. Francisco Ramon will become our new Senior Engineer here in Central City."
Audience applause interrupted his speech once again, and Dr. Wells acknowledged the approbation of his people. He then went on to announce, "Mr. Raymond Palmer will be the new Director of Research and Development, and Ms. Felicity Smoak will be the Director of Applied Sciences. Should they accept the promotion, they will both be reassigned to our east coast facility in Boston where they shall also complete master's degrees in their chosen fields of specialization at MIT, fully funded by STAR Labs, of course. In behalf of the Board, it is our desire that these incentives will all the more motivate each one of you to pursue excellence and contribute to the long-term goals of the company. Thank you very much, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the evening!"
The rest of the evening turned out to be less than enjoyable for Oliver and Felicity. Neither of them felt like dancing or mingling anymore after that announcement, so they took leave early, telling their close friends that it was for Emma's sake. After saying goodbye to their friends and politely thanking Dr. Wells, they left the banquet and headed back to Felicity's home.
A promotion was normally something to be celebrated, and really, Felicity was genuinely grateful for the company's generosity and recognition of her hard work and dedication. She took her career seriously, and she truly appreciated Dr. Wells as a mentor. She would have been completely joyful about the promotion and the study grant; however, the fact that both incentives had to be on the other side of the country had dampened that joy.
She had just gotten her family back, for crying out loud. How was she supposed to have a life with Oliver and Emma if she was thousands of miles away from the two people she cared about most?
Felicity kept looking out the window of her car even if there was really nothing interesting to see in that part of Central City. She couldn't look at Oliver, even if she knew that he'd been stealing furtive glances at her since they left the banquet. She knew that the moment she saw his face, she'd start to cry. So, the drive back home was silent.
When Oliver parked the car in front of her building, he was the one that finally broke the ice. It was better here than in her apartment where Thea and Emma were, he figured.
"I'm really happy for you, Felicity," he said. The tone of his voice was the exact opposite of what he had just said. He was looking straight ahead through the windshield at nothing in particular. He dropped his gaze a little, staring now at his hands that hadn't let go of the wheel.
He went on to say, "You're brilliant and dedicated, and you're living your dreams. Your mother would have been so proud. I know I am."
Felicity turned from looking out the window, but instead of facing him, she looked down at the hands on her lap. "Thanks, I guess. The announcement came as a shock, actually. I'm not so sure how I feel about it right now." At least, she was being honest.
Oliver thought that he knew exactly what she was thinking: that she was having second-thoughts about the promotion and the move to Boston. She was letting her feelings for him – and most probably for Emma as well – hold her back. He wouldn't have it. He wasn't going to let her sacrifice her career and her success for them.
Legally, she was under no obligation to support Emma; she did not even have legal joint custody over her. Nothing was really holding her back. He and Emma were going to be just fine at the ranch. After all, they'd done it before, just the two of them.
If anyone accused him of sour-graping now, he would vehemently deny it.
"Felicity…" he said, looking at her finally, "please don't tell me you're not taking the promotion. You deserve it."
"It's not that, and you know it," she replied. At last, she looked at him and said sadly, "I want the promotion, and I want that master's degree. But I also want a life with Emma, with you." Felicity thought that she had really come a long way. She was speaking her mind, letting him know exactly what she wanted and how she felt. She hoped he would do the same.
"Emma and I will be fine," Oliver assured her. He reached across to take her hand and added, "Maybe when you're done with graduate school, you can ask to come back to Central City. I'd wait for you, you know."
Who was he kidding? A beautiful, brilliant, and successful woman like Felicity would be surrounded by admirers and hopeful suitors the minute she set foot in Boston. That was what had happened when she was in college; it could most certainly happen again. Why was this happening again?
The warmth of his hand that was wrapped around her smaller one wasn't enough to calm her wildly beating heart. "But, I've already lost seven years of my daughter's life. I don't want to lose two or three more. And, I don't think I can bear to tell her that I'm leaving her again." Felicity began to cry.
Oliver pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her. "You underestimate our girl. Emma can handle it. She'll understand, eventually."
"Oliver, she's eight years old. And she's not you!" Her voice came out a little sterner than she intended, and her remark irritated him a little.
He responded with more angst than he intended, "Hey, don't you think this is hard on me, too? I've just gotten you back, and now I need to let you go. A second time. For your own good." He held back a sob, and it had caused a lump to form in his throat. "You… you have a life to live that's bigger than what we have to offer in Starling."
"What are you saying, Oliver?"
"I'm saying you shouldn't let this chance pass, or you might regret it."
"I regret enough in my life already."
"My point exactly."
Before their conversation turned into a full-blown argument, they stopped. To their credit, they weren't immature, bickering teenagers who were incapable of handling conflict. Or were they?
Felicity became quiet, but inside, emotions were running high. She felt like Oliver was pushing her away. Why was he letting her go just like that? Perhaps he was sincere in that he only wanted what he thought was best for her. Perhaps she was reading him all wrong; he had just told her that he loved her an hour ago, but he probably didn't love her enough to fight for her. Perhaps he didn't think she loved him enough to fight for them. Felicity couldn't believe this was happening all over again. She felt like 17-year-old Felicity who had a hard time making up her mind about leaving Starling Town and the life she used to know. Perhaps history did repeat itself.
Oliver too was quiet, but inside, emotions were running high. He loved her too much to keep her from succeeding, but that didn't mean that the prospect of letting her go and losing her again didn't hurt. Because it did. More than the first time. Maybe she'd find fulfillment in Boston this time around and decide not to come back in two years' time. Maybe she'd settle for a long distance relationship with Emma and just come for visits or send for her during the holidays. Maybe later on she'd meet someone special there that had the same (or nearly the same) IQ level as hers, or finally settle for Ray Palmer, who was logically a better match for her than he could ever be. After all, he was just a humble rancher from Starling Town. Oliver couldn't believe he was having this annoying debate with himself again. He felt like 19-year-old Oliver who thought that he didn't deserve an amazing, gifted girl like Felicity. History did repeat itself.
"It's getting cold. You should go inside," Oliver told her.
"Yeah." Her voice was just as cold and lifeless as the dry, chilly air surrounding them.
"I'll see you in the morning."
"Fine."
He went around and opened the door for her. She got out and walked straight to the front entrance of the apartment building, his hopes of them sharing a good night kiss dashed to pieces because of an unsettled argument. Despite the romance in the air earlier that evening, all he could do now was watch the woman he loved walk away and disappear in the distance.
Neither of them got a good night's sleep that evening.
"Okay, spill, big brother," Thea finally ordered. She'd been waiting all morning for this chance to ask him what went wrong at the banquet the night before. Emma was still upstairs in Felicity's apartment. Thea was pretending to help her brother bring their stuff down to his truck.
Oliver didn't answer. He really was not in the mood for conversation, much less open up about his frustrations with Felicity. Their relationship had barely taken off, yet now it was hanging precariously in mid-air. So, he ignored her and continued to fix Emma's booster in the back seat.
"Come on, Ollie. Something had to have happened last night," Thea pushed some more. "You didn't even come up to check on Emma. Felicity is suddenly deaf and dumb the whole morning. And you decided to leave immediately after brunch today. It's not… normal."
"Thea…" he half-growled his sister's name. "I don't want to talk about it right now."
"Oh no… What did you do?" Thea asked, her tone suspicious and her stance ready to scold him.
"Nothing," Oliver answered.
"What do you mean nothing? She wouldn't be upset about nothing."
He reiterated, "I didn't do anything."
Oh, so there it was. Thea narrowed her eyes at him even if he wasn't looking at her. She crouched a little bit so that she could see his brother's face, and then she placed her hands on both his shoulders, forcing him to straighten up and face her. "Maybe that's exactly what went wrong. You did nothing," she told him.
Oliver was quick to reply in the form of an irksome question. "Thea, what do you want from me?"
"The truth."
"Fine! She's leaving for Boston. Again. She's been promoted, but she's being sent to the other side of the country to be the director of some… some science thing… and to study some more."
"Oh… Talk about déjà vu. Ollie, I'm so sorry." Thea huffed out a breath and gave her brother a pat on the back. The tone of her voice softened a little bit. She asked, "Is she accepting the promotion?"
"Why won't she? She deserves it," Oliver answered, as he closed the door of his truck.
"I'm sure she does, but there's more to making a decision to move across the country than that. She has a daughter, and she has us – both of which she has just gotten back. I don't think she's going make a major decision just like that."
"It's her life, her choice," Oliver said dismissively, which was ironic, because if Thea had been there in the car with them last night, she would have berated his brother for making Felicity's choice for her unilaterally.
"I get that. But you can't start acting all broody like you used to, when she hasn't even made a choice yet. Has she?" Thea asked point blank.
Oliver dropped his gaze and shifted between his feet. "I told her to take the job, Thea. I know how important her career is to her. She's dreamed of this since we were kids. I just want her to be happy."
Thea retorted, "And you think that happiness for Felicity is living thousands of miles away from the ones she loves? Ollie, get real!"
"There's nothing I can do," he replied dejectedly.
"Yeah, right. I've heard that before."
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked his sister. He was really at the brink of losing it.
But so was Thea. She placed her hands on her hips and gave him a piece of her mind.
"You say you want her to be happy, to pursue her dreams, and that in order for her to do that, you're going to have to let her go, to sacrifice your happiness for her sake. Well, that is exactly the kind of flawed reasoning that led to you gradually lose the love of your life ten years ago. And maybe you were right to let her go then. I don't know. But you know what? After watching what your life was like for many years without Felicity in your life, I think it's fair to say that you are making a big mistake once again. It's like instant replay! It doesn't sit well with me that I have to be the one to point it out, but you really need to hear it and get it into that thick skull of yours."
His sister was on a roll, but she paused to catch her breath and calm herself down a bit.
"Ollie, I know you. You do not give up easily. That's why Mom trusted you. And that's what makes you the best person to raise Emma, to take care of me and the ranch. You are willing to sacrifice everything for the ones you care about, including your happiness. That is a good thing. But in this case, it isn't, especially if you're allowing it to happen a second time. Because you deserve to be happy, too. You've been given a second chance. Why won't you keep it, fight for it? Don't fight to lose. Fight to win."
Oliver's head hung low. A part of him wanted to believe his sister, but the other part of him wanted to go at it the way he'd done it before and just play it safe instead of taking the risk. If he were to be totally honest, he was more afraid that Felicity would choose Boston instead of him and Emma, than he was to have to be the one to let her go. He wouldn't admit it, but if his motives were scrutinized more carefully, that was basically the reason why he wanted Felicity to accept the promotion, and his sister was on to him.
"Ollie, please consider this before it's too late," Thea pleaded with her brother. "Is it possible that the reason you let Felicity go ten years ago was not really because you wanted her to be happy, but because you thought you didn't deserve to be happy, because you thought you didn't deserve someone like her? Because if that was really why you let her leave before, then you'd be the world's greatest idiot if you let it happen again."
His conversation with Thea at the parking lot of Felicity's apartment building played in his head like a broken record during the lonely four-hour drive home.
A/N: Please don't hate me. This is the last bout of angst in this story, I promise. It's really part of the plot plan.
Just two more chapters, and then we're done. I can't believe that after everything that's happened, I'm still going to get this story done. Thank you so much that you are still following this, especially the Guests and the one who started reading this fic from another site. The response to this fic was both unexpected and overwhelming.